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Nov 18, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Jimmy Stewart vs Mad Max" by: Wes Robert Ward "What if Jimmy Stewart, yes the famous western actor by the name of James Stewart challenged Mad Max to a race out on a long stretch of highway out in the middle of nowhere? I mean side by side with their engines revving ready to go. Mad Max's black pursuit special V8 Interceptor GT Falcon muscle car versus Jimmy Stewart's old 1979 Chrysler Imperial Lebaron Town Country woody station wagon. Oh man, it's the ultimate race. Forget...
Topics: James Stewart, Mel Gibson, Mad Max, Jimmy Stewart, Jimmy, Accordian
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Nov 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Tubok's Eye" by: Wes Robert Ward Tubok the Elephant lived a long uneventful life in Thailand. He carried many people on his back all his life and he even mingled with his herd most of his life as well. He flapped his ears when he was excited and he stomped his foot when he was upset. But no one would've ever thought Tubok's Eye was cursed by something so evil words was hard to describe. All that was ever said was Tubok's Eye was cursed with an evil beyond this world of knowledge and...
Topics: Elephant, Eye, Tubok, Wraith, Jinx, Demon
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Nov 12, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Spoon" by: Wes Robert Ward "The spoon did it!!!" cried Larry Owens to the two interrogating homicide detectives before him in the back room of the police station, "It wasn't the fork or the butterknife, no it was the spoon!!!" Soon after that Larry Owens was convicted in a Criminal Court of Justice of murdering 60 people at a buffet restaurant with just a spoon. Yeah, I know it's hard to believe, but when Crime Scene Investigaters ripped the bloody spoon from...
Topics: Spoon, Fork, Butterknife, Spork, Evil, Religious, Urban Myth
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Nov 9, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Wabbit Hunter" by: Wes Robert Ward A bald man in a brown hunting outfit sits at the bar on a bar stool with his big bulky brown hunting cap off wrapped in his hands at Looney's Bar & Grill, feeling depressed and out of sorts with himself. He says, "Bartender, get me a cold beer with two shots each of whiskey and wum, pwease." Bartender comes over and gives the poor bald guy what he needed, "You look down in the dumps, my friend. Need an ear because I listen...
Topics: Wabbit, Hunter, Elmer Fudd, Bartender
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Nov 8, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Goodbye, Red Balloon, Goodbye" by: Wes Robert Ward "Oh alas, red balloon in the sky, soaring so far, floating so high, leaving my childhood behind. Leaving behind the days of yore, closing so many forgotten doors that will never open again. The end, the end, this is the end. Goodbye, red balloon, goodbye. With one strong gust of wind, my younger days are gone, never to be seen again. Never, what such a word as never. For I could reach out my unreachable hand as far as I can and...
Topics: Red, Balloon
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Nov 7, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Religious Chicken" by: Wes Robert Ward "Why did Jesus cross the road? Unlike the chicken, Jesus was safe because he knew his father in heaven, God, had created that road and so he could cross it anytime he wanted too and nobody driving on that road would dare hit Jesus. I mean that's worse that a $250 dollar speaking ticket if you ask me. David crossed the road in France and threw a rock at Andre the Giant mistaking him for Goliath which apparently didn't faze him one bit and...
Topics: Chicken, Road, Religious, Bible, God, Jesus, David, Noah, Moses, Saint Peter, Adam, Eve, Andre the...
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Nov 4, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Basement" by: Wes Robert Ward There was something in the basement. What it was is still unknown. It lives down there just waiting. Waiting for what? Us. Or anybody that becomes it's prey. It waits for all who ventures down into it's dark lair in hopes for fresh food. Yes, we or anybody here are it's prey. Can anybody avoid the basement? No, none of us can not. You see the house above has only one exit and it's through the basement and out a basement door that someone once said...
Topics: Basement, Beast, Serial Killer, Horror, Victims, Rancor, Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Tyranosaurus...
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Nov 2, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Tornado Ned" by: Wes Robert Ward In the small town of Johnsonville, Oklahoma back in 1933 lived a 33 year old caucasian man by the name Ned Wilson, but as time went by he became known as Tornado Ned. Why you say? Well some used to say that old Ned used to attract those Tornados or even Twisters or even wind storms of any such like a storm magnet. Some also said he was cursed. But mostly everybody realized old Ned was delusional for what he went through with a certain tornado that...
Topics: Tornado, Ned, Oklahoma, Johnsonville, Time, Travel, Future, Past, Farm, Dog, Cat, Barn, Airplane,...
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Nov 1, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Pumpkin On The Beach" by: Wes Robert Ward As I sat among the shore hearing the seagals above me soar, I truly felt the salty air all around, and so I inhaled the sweet smell of the sea, and as I did all this and so much more, I suddenly sensed something among the calming roar of the sea. Within me there's an inner peace, a piece of me that must never be ignored. My eyes adjust to such a sight of what I see among this blight. On the beach before me between the ocean and the beach...
Topics: Pumpkin, Beach, Sand, Marijuana, Purple People Eater, Halloween, Taco Bell, Dean Martin, Dolly...
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Oct 30, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Blood & Donuts" by: Wes Robert Ward It was one of those cold blooded nights in December up in Bangor, Maine. The type of cold blooded night when nothing was good about it. So cold it was that you felt like your blood was frozen. That's what Deputy Fred Johnson felt like as he sat at a dining table in a Dunkin Donuts establishment drinking a hot cup of coffee and having a couple of glazed donuts with his partner Deputy Howard Barnes, who had felt like a raspberry jelly donut....
Topics: Blood, Donuts, Cannibals, Police, Cops, Captain
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Oct 30, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Grave Disturbance" by: Wes Robert Ward She climbed out of her grave last night. We had a hard time putting her back in. She does this once in awhile when she doesn't want to be in the same place for long, especially with a hunger that could not be ignored. Her name was and still is Debbie Henderson, a true vegetarian at heart. She had tragically died in a car collision on I-95 up in Maine near Portland. She was only 20 years old and had started at the University of Southern Maine....
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Topics: Grave, Disturbance, Cemetery, Undead, Zombie
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Oct 25, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"A Hole In The Ground" by: Wes Robert Ward There was a hole in the ground and he could not understand, it was kind of circular round and it was on dirt grass land. Although it was in Owen Barfield's backyard, he still found it quite odd that such a hole could develop, but as he bit his bottom lip he decided to investigate, yet he wanted to debate if it was safe to do so and he thought, should I look or should I go? And so Owen went to the hole because it was just a hole and nothing...
Topics: Hole, Ground, Demon, Ravioli
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Oct 25, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Water, Where Will It End" by: Wes Robert Ward "Water, where will it end? Water, where did it ever begin? Mayhap from some kitchen faucet sink, or perhaps from some entity's drink whose nose creates rain through his nostrils. It only pours when it rains and it only rains when it pours. God or Mister Mxyzptlk, who knows. Like a never ending water hose, it just flows and flows. And the more the rain nose blows the more wet sneezes it has. As if, yeah I know. Better the nose than...
Topics: Water, God, Mister Mxyzptlk, Wet, Rain, Life, Religious
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Oct 22, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Old Man, The Dog, And The Graveyard" by: Wes Robert Ward Once upon a time there was an old man and his dog that spent their time in the graveyard. Kind of sad it almost sounds, but not entirely for this old man liked to travel from one tomb to another and talk to the dead. He'd sit and chat away all day about this and that, and of course he'd know if their ghost was there by the simple wag of the dog's tail. None of the ghosts were evil of course and if they were the dog would...
Topics: Old Man, Dog, Graveyard, Ghost, Religious, Spiritual
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Oct 22, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Depression Take Me" by: Wes Robert Ward "What's the point of it any more? What's the point of going on? Does anyone care anymore? Does anybody want to listen? I lay here all alone feeling down. Down, Down, on the ground. Depression is ripping me a new one. Life to me now is no more fun, and no, I do not want or need a gun to use a certain uncharacteristic pun. There are days I want to live and there are days when I want to die. To close out the world to shut the shutters, to...
Topics: Depression, Life, Death
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Oct 21, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Wall" by: Wes Robert Ward I sit all day. I sit all night. Looking at this wall. This wall isn't no ordinary wall, but a wall into another world. A world of walls and nothing else. A wonderment to behold actually if one was on this world of walls, for everywhere you went within this planetary mall there would be wall after wall. Brick or stone or what you will, be still wherever one would walk. And so I sit here and gently talk to this wall before me. I sit all day. I sit all...
Topics: Wall, Portal, World, Planet, Sci-fi, Water, Turtle, Smokey, Bandit, Eastbound, Down, Jerry Reed,...
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Oct 20, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Topic Today is Trees" by: Wes Robert Ward Did you hear what happened on the news yesterday? It's unbelievable. It's simply amazing and outstanding. Mankind not only reached the stars in outer-space and performed life saving surgeries, but we've conquered another piece of the puzzle. Politicians are planting their seeds in the ground to make tree life grow. That's semen in the soil. Sperm to make those ferns grown. Jism to make… well you get the idea. Yes, a certain politician...
Topics: Tree, Trees, Fruit, Politics, Obama, Trump, Clinton, Bush, Kennedy, McCain
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Oct 20, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Count To Three & Jerk" by: Wes Robert Ward "Is it better to have sex in Heaven or Hell? How can anybody tell? Guess you have to be dead, oh well. Maybe with Angels or Demons? In warmth or fire? On clouds or in hot tubs? Sex with clean x-rated adult toys or broken beer bottles? Eh, about half and half. It seems Marie Antoinette can't complain in Heaven and neither can Lizzy Borden in Hell. Liberace goes back and forth between both realms because he is one kinky bitch with an...
Topics: Sex, Heaven, Hell, Angels, Demons, Marie Antoinette, Lizzy Borden, Liberace, Babe Ruth, Anna Nicole...
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Oct 20, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"God's Cow" by: Wes Robert Ward "Before thy cut water and jerk water with thy putter with both nutters on thy horny stepdaughters, do not utter nor mutter, do not shudder, sputter, or stutter, take thy Cow's udder like a Sailor's rudder and feed and feel the frothy, foamy, fuzzing flutter and taste thy creamy milky water that God created with cheese and butter." The End. 🐄
Topics: God, Cow, Milk, Water, Putter, Stepdaughter, Udder, Sailor, Rudder, Cheese, Butter
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Oct 20, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"I Took A Mop For A Walk" by: Wes Robert Ward One sunny day on a lovely Sunday afternoon I decided to take my Mop for a walk in the park. Oh, my Mop got all excited and couldn't wait to run around the park like all Mops should do. Yes, my Mop as we entered the park ran up to a tree, sniffed it, and peed on it. Then my Mop found some soft grass and pooped as well. Not fun cleaning up after a Mop you know and this one pooped a lot. All the rest of the day my Mop played with the other...
Topics: Mop, Dog, Park, Fleas
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Oct 20, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Toilet Tinkling" by: Wes Robert Ward "Long time no see," I say to my wee-wee as I stand at the toilet and pee-pee. Tinkle tinkle here and there. Tinkle tinkle everywhere. Oh, what bliss, like a sweet kiss I hit and miss the toilet, making it wet from the sides, seat, and flusher, to the shit stained toilet plunger, to the bathroom floor and all, to my Grandmother's picture on the wall. In the end, I clean my best friend with a wad of tee-pee after I got done taking my...
Topics: Toilet, Tinkling
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Oct 20, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"__it Happens" by: Wes Robert Ward We forget sometimes that no matter what shit happens. Shit will always happen. Shit will happen when you least expect it. Shit will happen when you don't see it coming. Shit will happen when shit takes a shit on shit. Shit, that's the best way I can explain it. But what if? What if we had an alien shit invasion from the planet poo in the far off galaxy of crap. Just a notion, please use lots of lotion because when you lay in it you'll start to feel...
Topics: Crap, Poop, Feces
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Oct 20, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Wiseman Of Stall #3" by: Wes Robert Ward Among such wisdom I sat near this holy man and breathed the air of his wise words as he spoke in the room we were in. And these were his wise words... Wiseman once said, "Look before you leap into a pile of crap for that crap might be no ordinary crap but shit that doesn't look like shit but looks like the type of shit that talks. And no one wants to leap into talking shit for that talking shit might talk such shit that shit might...
Topics: Wiseman, Restroom, Stall
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Oct 19, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"My Undead Bride" by: Wes Robert Ward "My mind has thought that I have died from cyanide, pesticide, and formaldehyde. I'd would had tried to abundantly abide with my unprecedented pride to confidentially confide and magnificently provide to unwillingly decide and simply recite in my undignified graveside as another undead Jekyll & Hyde after a many blood-filled homicides and a poisonous morbid pathetic miserable suicide, but I am still looking for my undead bride. Oh where,...
Topics: Undead, Bride, Cyanide, Pesticide, Formaldehyde, Grave, Jekyll, Hyde, Homicide, Suicide, Roadside
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Oct 19, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Sidewalk Tomahawk" by: Wes Robert Ward "Blocking the sidewalk in so, I would not let people come and go, I would say and I would reply, that this was my sidewalk. Oh, people would try to talk, gawk, and squawk, but I would pull out a giant sock, scream and shout and pull out a tomahawk, and crack that sidewalk. Well with that said with some shock, people took a chance and jaywalked." The End. 🏃
Topics: Sidewalk, Tomahawk, Jaywalk
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Oct 19, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Bubba Buttock" by: Wes Robert Ward Bubba Buttock was his name, butt humping Baboons was his game. Well he butt humped many from Kalamazoo to Timbuktu, he even butt humped a few in the local zoos. Well Bubba Buttock died of Aids, some were amazed, others weren't surprised, cause butt humping Baboons wasn't wise. Well Bubba Buttock went to Hell, which he thought wasn't all to swell, cause he thought he'd be doing some Baboon rape, but all he got was butt hump raped by a big ole Gorilla...
Topics: Bubba, Buttock, Baboon, Baboon, Monkey, Kalamazoo, Timbuktu, Zoo, Aids, Gorilla, Rape, Hump, Redneck
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Oct 19, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Beer Breath" by: Wes Robert Ward "The beer on your breath smells like death, death to your tongue, your teeth, your gums, your throat, your organs, but Budweiser is the best to get you undressed. Ah alas as you pass out before you give me a kissable pout you whisper in my ear sweet nothings and somethings about beer and piss. Such lovely words from you be still my beating heart, even the drool from your lips sweeten our passionate kiss before you take to puking in a pail to be...
Topics: Beer, Breath, Budweiser, Love, Romance
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Oct 19, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Princess Eleanor" by: Wes Robert Ward "In ancient times, in times of the ancient, of darkness and light, of lightness and dark. In olden times, in times of the old, of peace and war, of war and peace. Was the beautiful and enchanting Princess Eleanor of the magical kingdom of Forevermore of the Land of Lore. She with the lovely golden hair, such lovely golden hair, as fair and tawny yellow, honey creamy yellow, like a beautiful delicate flower, precious lovely flower, would...
Topics: Princess, Eleanor, Lady, Isabel, Forevermore, Lore, Lesbia, Lesbian, Love, Romance
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Oct 19, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Cynthia By The Sea" by: Wes Robert Ward "Cynthia, Cynthia by the sea, she, the beautiful brunette Mermaid, she, Cynthia, Cynthia by the sea. On a sandrock so carefree, my fantasy, Cynthia, Cynthia by the sea. On the tropical shores of Maui, Hawaii, Cynthia, Cynthia by the sea. I to be on bended knee for only thee, Cynthia, Cynthia by the sea. And plea and plea, take me please take me deep down under the sea, Cynthia, Cynthia by the sea. And forever be, and forever be, and...
Topics: Cynthia, Sea, Mermaid, Hawaii, Maui
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Oct 19, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The First Time" by: Wes Robert Ward "The first time I saw you, I fell in love, to me it was like love at first sight, the sight of you made my heart flutter, shudder, and melt like butter. Your eyes were bewitching, your ears were fetching, your nose was captivating, your lips were tempting, your hair was enchanting, your breasts, your breasts were scrumptious and titillating, your nipples, your nipples were like cherries in my mouth, and your womanhood, your vagina, your pussy...
Topics: First, Time, Love, Romance
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Oct 19, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"I Dream Of Icecream" by: Wes Robert Ward "Because they are not what they seem, your breasts and nipples are like a dream, sure they are supreme, and they gleam, and they make me want to scream to an excitable extreme, but unlike Dairy Queen… they do not produce Icecream. Oh sadly like the days of yore when Shakespeare's Lore had man sucking on woman's tit for milky substance to feed our hunger gave many man a form of a storm of an Icecream headache in a way day to day to day...
Topics: Dream, Dreams, Icecream, Dairy Queen, Shakespeare, Napoleon, Neapolitan
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Oct 19, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Our Baby Boy" by: Wes Robert Ward The milk from her nipples taste sweet and creamy. She holds them to feed the suckling baby boy in her arms. Her bundle of joy engulfs and gulps one bosom like a kitten to his mother. She holds him close as he… CHUGS IT DOWN LIKE A BUDWEISER!!! Daddy cries, "That's my boy!!!" The End. 👶🍼🍺
Topics: Baby, Mother, Daddy, Milk, Budweiser
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Oct 19, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Jericho's Pig" by: Wes Robert Ward "Once upon a time, not so long ago, in Bordeaux, on a plateau, was a Chateau, there lived an old French Gigolo Schmo simply named Jericho Pierre Defoe, who loved escargot and merlot, not to mention the artist Vincent Van Gogh and the dark poet Edgar Allan Poe, and fingering a beautiful piccolo, and performing beautiful fellatio. Many had called him a bastard bigot and an inbred oddball hypocrite, and a French freaking piece of shit for backing...
Topics: Jericho, Pig, French, France, Vincent Van Gogh, Edgar Allan Poe, Marquis de Lafayette, Marie...
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Oct 19, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Strange Dogs" by: Wes Robert Ward Strange that my big black dog should look at my small white woman with his eyes glazed with lust, his jowls and snout drooling with desire, and his tail wagging away for a sexual belly rub from his whore of a mistress. Should I shout, call him the N-word, and tell him to go lay down? Or should I let him have his way with his big red dog pecker hanging below his hairy legs? My wife looks at me with fear of my decision, "Howard?" I look at...
Topics: Strange, Dogs, Husband, Wife, Black Labrador, Pink Poodle, Peanut Butter
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Oct 19, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Or So I've Heard" by: Wes Robert Ward A perfect rainbow in the sky, in the deep blue sky is better than a butterfly and a dragonfly drugged up on Meth, fighting to the death… or so I've heard. Bugs, bugs, bugs in the deep blue sky buzzing and fuzzing here and high from flower to insect terrorism power, behold the things with wings or something whatnot that fly an air combat battle, even though some look like flying cattle... or so I've heard. Oh, to see such as much magnificent...
Topics: Bugs, Insects, Butterfly, Dragonfly
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Oct 19, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Sandpaper Hurts' by: Wes Robert Ward Fred yelled, "So what if the bathroom door is locked!!! Can't a man take a dump in peace, holding my privates, squeezing my anal canal, and feeling poop explode from my deep dark asshole?" Ellen replied through the door, "Honey, I just wanted to tell you that there's no more toilet paper." "Oh shit," Fred cried then said, "Honey, can you get me some more toilet paper?" "No," was Ellen's response....
Topics: Sandpaper, Toilet Paper, Husband, Wife, Lesbian
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Oct 19, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Evil Egg" by: Wes Robert Ward As many of us know when buying a carton of a dozen eggs or a carton of 18 eggs many of us check to see if one is broken by opening up the carton to see. Usually if we see one cracked with it's egg yolk guts on display we usually put that one back and check another. If it's a good carton we usually take that one. This is the story of Ed Jenkins who didn't check the egg carton. What he got wasn't a broken egg, but a demonic one. Bright and early on a...
Topics: Evil, Egg, Demon, Cat, Dog, God, Jesus, Noah, Heaven, Lucifer, Hell
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Oct 19, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"In A Cat's Eye" by: Wes Robert Ward "In a Cat's Eye will thy just lie in my grave and just plain die, thy defy to deny. Many said their tearful goodbyes and their dreadful lullabies, and many had to cry why with a sigh, whereby, by and by, thy do not comply, or imply, or reply, but thy hereby and thereby will terrify and zombify anybody and everybody nearby. But sadly cut and dry… yes, I ate poisoned apple pie. My widow tonight must die." The End. 😱
Topics: Cat's Eye, Undead, Zombie
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Oct 18, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"My Pussycat" by: Wes Robert Ward What common language is that for a small little pussycat, you sit there looking at me as if I'm an overgrown tree, when suddenly you meow, wanting milk from the Cow, wanting tuna from the can, wanting everything I am. And if you don't get what you fancy, you get a little bit antsy, plus you start to hiss and fuss here, there, and everywhere. But if you get what you desire, you won't look at me like a kitty cat vampire and set my house on fire. You...
Topics: Pussycat, Cat
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Oct 17, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Man That Kicked A Bear" by: Wes Robert Ward The bravest man I ever knew, no, the bravest man since William Wallace, was the man that kicked a bear. Not no ordinary kick or any bear. This Man climbed the biggest rocky hill in Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming and then quickly as he could took his steel toed work boot and kicked a full grown Grizzly Bear in the butt. Try as he could the Man thought because he was an ex-football player for the Seattle Seahawks he thought because...
Topics: Man, Bear, Grizzly, Yellowstone, Old Faithful, Wyoming, Seattle Seahawks, NFL
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Oct 17, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Annabel Lee" by: Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849) It was many and many a year ago,    In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know    By the name of Annabel Lee; And this maiden she lived with no other thought    Than to love and be loved by me. I was a child and she was a child,    In this kingdom by the sea: But we loved with a love that was more than love—    I and my Annabel Lee; With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven    Coveted her...
Topics: Annabel Lee, Edgar Allan Poe
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Blondie Has A Gun" by: Wes Robert Ward "Blondie has a gun!!!" screamed the Bouncer at Club 86 before getting his head blown off by a remodeled .44 magnum silver revolver. The Bouncer's head exploded in a burst of blood and gore all over the front entrance way. People started screaming when they saw the cold blooded masked female psychopath called Blondie enter the club. Her usual attire was a purple suit with yellow tie, black gloves, and her breathing mask that resembled...
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Topics: Blondie, Gun, Dan, Psychopath, Pelican, New York, Apocalyptic
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"From Darkness To Light" by: Wes Robert Ward "My dearest darling, do not go so gentle into that goodnight, for seeing you disappear into that darkness is despair upon me. Despair that can not be repaired upon what sanity I have left, shifted into what insanity my loneliness embroils, madness in return has no morals. Without you it is such sadness through early evening, through dark midnight, till the break of dawn, but when you appear through the light of morning, I am no more in...
Topics: Darkness, Light, Love, Romance
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"My Sweet Lady" by: Wes Robert Ward "Oh my Sweet Lady, what you offer that of thy love with a purr is thee heart of desire for me. So let it be and let it be known that I love thee like the winter snow, the rain in spring, the summer wind, and the leaves of fall. For every season I see thee smile and craving passion for me is 365 days, 12 months, a year of happiness for me, myself, and I. Eye to eye and lips to lips, forever and always in wedded bliss." The End. 💍
Topics: Sweet, Lady, Love, Romance
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Love Of My Life" by: Wes Robert Ward "Without loss of breath, I look upon the lovely breasts that hold your beating heart and hope you are in good health, because without you in my life, I would not want to live. To live then die, to cry with sorrowful eyes, to go without your love is no heaven from up above. I'd die a thousand times and a thousand more as well for your face I have fell, fallen far and long and hard and as I hit the ground I am astounded to find I've loved you...
Topics: Love, Life
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Love Her Heart" by: Wes Robert Ward "The Grass is green, my friend. The sky is blue, to no end. The earth is brown, deep down. The universe is black, that's a fact. And a woman's heart is red along with the rose petals on her bed. She loves you, my friend, to no end, deep down, and that's a fact… become Honeymoon Newlyweds, take her to the marriage bed, take her sacred maidenhead, and like beautiful romantic art… love her heart." The End. 💕
Topics: Love, Heart, Romance
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Quivering River" by: Wes Robert Ward "Like a river, you are lovely, like a stream within a dream, like a flow of melted snow, like a creek of beautiful physique, and like a babbling brook in a romantic book filled with not just crystal clear water, but true love and romantic passion. You are like that river and when I am with you… you make me quiver." The End. 🗻
Topics: Quivering, River, Quiver
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"A Lovely Tree" by: Wes Robert Ward If there was a lovely tree, I would name her after thee, her branches would be your lovely arms, her roots would be your lovely legs, her bark would be your lovely skin, her leaves would be your lovely hair, her seeds would be your lovely eyes & ears. And if so be if that lovely tree had a small sap-filled hole in she then I would put myself in that lovely tree with me. Oh, what a fantasy it be to fill that lovely tree with glee while crying...
Topics: Lovely, Tree, Romance, Love
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Sidewalk Of Love" by: Wes Robert Ward "On wet concrete sidewalk, I write your name and mine with a heart around both and hope a hundred years from now, our names and heart brings together two sweethearts who write their own names and heart next to ours on that dry concrete sidewalk." The End. 💕
Topics: Sidewalk, Love, Romance
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Love Counting" by: Wes Robert Ward "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. One, I love thee through eyes with sight to see your beauty. Two, I love thee through ears with attention to hear your sweetness. Three, I love thee through smell with a nose to breathe your perfume. Four, I love thee through touch with arms and hands to hold you close. Five, I love thee through mouth with lips to kiss and taste. Oh, I could love thee more from six to ten, and more and then, but why...
Topics: Love, Counting
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Confused & Perplexed" by: Wes Robert Ward "Sick as I am, try to understand, I'm confused and perplexed in the mentally disturbed head, near and far from the cornbread, let it be unread and unsaid inside my coked up head that I am not only ill bred and inbred, but like cut yarn, string, or thread of the beheading of Death's Head and the dreaded bloodshed of the pornographic undead, let it be foresaid, misread, and embedded that I am not only empty-headed, muddle-headed, but...
Topics: Confused, Perplexed
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Bald Men" by: Wes Robert Ward There are bald men and plenty of them whose bald heads resemble nothing so much more as the head of a penis, thick and wide, wide and thick, and as big as a German Kraut helmet, and it is said by horny women, if you pleasure bald men, semen will shoot from the skull." The End. 😉
Topics: Bald, Men
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"I Will Name Him George" by: Wes Robert Ward Dear George Washington, I know it's probably been a long time since anybody wrote you a letter since you died back in 1799 and you probably never thought somebody would write you a letter from the year 2020, but I've got a few things to say to you. First of all and it must be said to understand the great Man that you were.... what was it like to become the very first President of the United States? Must of been so fly to be the number one...
Topics: George Washington, Quarter, Abraham Lincoln, Martha, Mary, Vampire, Undead
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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“Oh, Christmas Cow” by: Wes Robert Ward. “Oh, Christmas Cow, Oh, Christmas Cow, How lovely are thy udders. Oh, Christmas Cow, Oh, Christmas Cow, How lovely are thy udders. Your milk so warm in summertime, Stay freaking cold in wintertime. Oh, Milking Cow, Oh, Dairy Cow, How lovely are thy udders. Let us all remember In our gift giving and our merriment With our Chickens and Goats and Pigs The real and true meaning of Christmas The birth of our Lord and Savior… Nestor, the Long–Eared...
Topics: Christmas, Cow, Song
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"From Hen To Vulture" by: Wes Robert Ward "You slapped my face!!! You slapped it hard!!! You slapped it!!! Backalapped it!!! Smacked it!!! Swatted it!!! Slugged it!!! Struck it!!! Pounded it!!! Punched it!!! Beaten it!!! Whacked it!!! Boxed it!!! Hit it!!! Kicked it!!! And butt-headed it!!! Shit, when it's your time of the month and PMS is setting in, you're no longer a mother hen… you're a freaking vulture!!!" The End. 😭
Topics: Hen, Vulture, PMS
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Why Mona Lisa Didn't Smile More" by: Wes Robert Ward "Oh, thy figure of thy form and arse is no funny farce or laughing frolic, my darling farking alcoholic," says William Shakespeare, drunken like the days of yore, to the dark haired Mona Lisa by the Leaning Tower of Pisa, "Thou is a tempest wench that art to be thrashed with my possessive hand till thy arse is as red as thy life's blood. Behold thee glory of my mighty phallus and watch it unfold and grow'th, they...
Topics: Mona Lisa, Leonardo da Vinci, William Shakespeare, Leaning Tower of Pisa
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Toll Booth Willie" by: Wes Robert Ward One bright and wonderful day on an I-95 turnpike by some toll booths somewhere nobody cares or wants to be. Toll Booth Willie was pissed beyond reasonable doubt, and he was hankering and jumping like jeshophat bitching big time. And the Highway Patrolman he had to complain to wanted somewhere else to be. He sighed and thought why did he have to deal with this redneck a-ho daily. Toll Booth Willie cried out, "Ain't you hear what I say, boy?...
Topics: Toll, Booth, Willie, Cop, Police, Quarters, Truck, Trucks, I-95
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Oct 16, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Rhino In A Garbage Truck" by: Wes Robert Ward Monday morning was always a busy day for most as people came out of their homes or apartments to get in their automobiles and go off to work early in the morning. The early bird gets the worm is the old saying, but these people are not as early as the local Garbage Men. Rolling down Mulberry Street was Garbage Truck number 13 doing their usual route picking garbage up from residential homes and a few apartment dumpsters then many...
Topics: Garbage Truck, Rhino, Rhinoceros, Earl, Zeke, Cletus, Police, Animal Control, Star Wars, Jedi,...
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Oct 15, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Bucket" by: Wes Robert Ward I was completely mesmerized to say the least as I sat among some old dust covered things long past. Days gone by and somewhat long forgotten were these many wondrous items in this old room I had found. It wasn't Ali Baba's treasure, but to me it was the greatest treasure known to man. In search of the Canterville Ghost, I found something other than a haunted old man of a restless spirit. I found the most important thing that could be more treasured...
Topics: Bucket, Canterville Ghost, Romance
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Oct 14, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Screaming Hand" by: Wes Robert Ward Stanley Howard was born with a screaming hand. Yes, that is what I said. Stanley Howard was born with a screaming hand. Now that could be the most strangest thing ever seen or heard, but this world is full of oddities and Stanley's screaming hand could be among the top ten. In between the third eye and feet that can laugh. When born from his mother's womb, Stanley didn't cry much, but his left hand screamed like a maniac. Doctors and Nurses...
Topics: Screaming, Hand, Stanley
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Oct 14, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"With Thy Eye" by: Wes Robert Ward "With thy eye winking at me, me thinks thou is hot for me, thy bounce thy titties and wiggle thy tail of a booty and me thinks that there will be foreplay and sex. Nothing so complex and nothing to perplexed. With thy wearing pink spandex and me wearing black bondage latex, me guess me won't be using… butter and Kleenex." The End. 👅
Topics: Eye, Sex, Butter, Kleenex
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Oct 14, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Do Not Forget…" by: Wes Robert Ward "Give me, my love, that sweet, sweet kiss that I have so sadly, sadly missed. Press your gentle lips upon mine and let me passionately dine upon that famished mouth, sending stimulating arousal down south. Let me suck those hungry lips, let me taste that delicious tongue, making me well-hung, making you so wet, but do not fret my pet and do not forget… the sex." The End. 💏
Topics: Love, Romance, Sex
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Oct 14, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Crème de la Crème" by: Wes Robert Ward "A beautiful butterfly flies and flutters through a Paris garden as the sun shines brightly, lightly does she takes to air, fair and colorful she drifts from one flower to another, sampling a daisy, a lily, a poppy, a rose, a tulip, and a violet. Yet never forgetting the sweet scent, the enchanting essence, and the pleasing perfume of each and every one of them. To the beautiful butterfly to her like a French love poem, it is the crème...
Topics: Butterfly, Paris, Garden, crème de la crème
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Oct 14, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Aphrodite's Reflection" by: Wes Robert Ward "What reflected face is that in the water? Could it be my beloved, my darling, my dearest, my sweetheart, my lover, my girlfriend, my fiancee? Or could it be the reflection of the Goddess Aphrodite wearing her short sexy pink nightie, wearing some hot pink panties, wearing her pink stiletto high-heels, wanting me to bend her over and make her submissively kneel, and spank her and spank her? But I look back at you, my love, wearing your...
Topics: Aphrodite, Reflection, Water
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Oct 14, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"A Love Poem" by: Wes Robert Ward "I want to write you a love poem, but I do not know what to write, it could be short, it could be long, it could be a melody, or it could be a song. And if I wrote you something sweet, something dramatic, something romantic, then and there and once upon I would want something in return, maybe the burning, the yearning of your darling heart, my lovely sweetheart. But alas this love poem that I am trying to write and recite will never be quite...
Topics: Love, Poem, Romance
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Oct 14, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Behold Beauty" by: Wes Robert Ward "Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder, but when God molded woman, he created an Angel.... and us men are little Devils. Their beauty surpasses the heavens themselves and created such lovely paradise that not even God himself must shield his eyes from. But alas as woman lays naked on our bed all wanton for us with lustful desire a sexual Demon comes out of us. Horns sprout from on top our heads as we jumped them like a horny toad and hump and...
Topics: Angel, Demon
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Oct 14, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"An Arm In A Bucket" by: Wes Robert Ward There was an arm in a bucket. A wooden bucket to be exact. I couldn't comprehend why there was an arm in a bucket, but it was there and I couldn't understand why. It was decapitated from below the armpit. It was a white arm, actually a little darker in skin either Greek or Italian with many black hairs and a Sailor's tattoo of an anchor on the bicep. How it got there I do not know, but before going into a rigamortis state the last thing the...
Topics: Arm, Bucket, Homicide
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Oct 14, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Old Man In Purgatory" by: Wes Robert Ward There was an Old Man who found a mysterious magical door in an open field in the middle of nowhere. An odd old ancient door with wood and stone as old and ancient since time began. He could not comprehend where this door had come from, but in front of the door on a stone step were old worn leather cracked shoes his size and width. This disturbed him. Why? Because they were shoes from long ago and he would have never worn such ugly shoes...
Topics: Old Man, Purgatory, Door, Crow, Hand, Shoes, Judgement, Nazi, Religious
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Oct 14, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Grass Of Love" by: Wes Robert Ward "Walk softly on the grass with me, barefoot for all and me to see, let the grass tickle our tickable toes and let the gentle whimsical wind flow ever so sweetly slow as we look at each other in so, as we look into each other's eyes, and tenderly cry and sigh for the love that we have for each other, for always and forever. Let us lay on the soft bed of the grass and make mad passionate love upon each blade upon each green. Skin to skin,...
Topics: Grass, Love, Romance
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Oct 12, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Cloud Canoe" by: Wes Robert Ward Oh, to just cloud canoe among the Heavens above what joyous fun. Oh, to just cloud canoe through the fluff and puff of that wonderful white stuff. To stand or to sit with wonderful wit, and glide the oar through the clouds, so happy, loved, and proud, then drift ever so carefree through this cloudy river sea among God's Heaven, if ever to truly see his love and to know he loves us all. For my cloud canoe is my ark, and I must embark to find my Lord,...
Topics: Cloud, Canoe, Heaven, God, Jesus, St Peter, Religious
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Oct 12, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"A Dream Within a Dream" by: Edgar Allan Poe "Take this kiss upon the brow! And, in parting from you now, Thus much let me avow — You are not wrong, who deem That my days have been a dream; Yet if hope has flown away In a night, or in a day, In a vision, or in none, Is it therefore the less gone?  All that we see or seem Is but a dream within a dream. I stand amid the roar Of a surf-tormented shore, And I hold within my hand Grains of the golden sand — How few! yet how they...
Topics: Dream, Edgar Allan Poe
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Oct 12, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"With Wide Eyes" by: Wes Robert Ward "Looking up suddenly, my wide eyes saw your pretty face smiling and it was with my wide eyes seen with love and devotion, I saw only you, only you, and not the billion behind you. Though I could of been mistaken, rarely I am not, to see such a lovely thing such as yourself, not to be taken out under arm and arm, protective as can be, but mostly jealous of other men trying to steal you away from me. And with my wide eyes, I keep a lookout for...
Topics: Wide, Eyes
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Oct 12, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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There Will Come Soft Rains Sara Teasdale - 1884-1933 "There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground, and swallows circling with their shimmering sound; And frogs in the pools singing at night, and wild plum trees in tremulous white, Robins will wear their feathery fire whistling their whims on a low fence-wire; And not one will know of the war, not one will care at last when it is done. Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree if mankind perished utterly; And Spring herself, when...
Topics: Nature, War, Sara Teasdale
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Oct 12, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Urinals Of The Undead" by: Wes Robert Ward Yep, a Zombie epidemic broke out once again and this time it got started in Chicago, Illinois. How it got started? Well Scientists are still trying to figure that out, but I found out the truth and it wasn't pretty. You see it got started at Wrigley Field Chicago Cubs Baseball Stadium in the men's restroom. You see it was the urinals away from the restroom stalls that caused it all. Toxic fumes from years of over-weight beer drinking...
Topics: Urinals, Undead, Zombies, Baseball, Pitcher, Chicago Cubs, New York Yankees, Atlanta Braves,...
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Oct 9, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"I See His Blood Upon The Rose" by: Joseph Mary Plunkett (1887-1916) "I see his blood upon the rose and in the stars the glory of his eyes, his body gleams amid eternal snows, his tears fall from the skies. I see his face in every flower; The thunder and the singing of the birds are but his voice—and carven by his power rocks are his written words. All pathways by his feet are worn, his strong heart stirs the ever-beating sea, his crown of thorns is twined with every thorn, his...
Topics: Blood, Rose, Religion, Religious, Jesus Christ
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Oct 9, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Little Girl Lost" by: Wes Robert Ward There was a Little Girl lost in the woods. The deep dark woods that is. So lost and frightened beyond nothing could compare to the fear within this Little Girl. Lost for two days now and hungry so hungry. Also cold so cold. She hides within a hollow hole of an old tree when she hears the howl of a wolf. Fear sets in as she bundles deep within the hollow hole of the old tree. Her Grandmother once told her the tale of Little Red Riding Hood, but...
Topics: Little, Girl, Lost, Wolf, Horror, Thriller
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Oct 9, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Sleepless Thinker" by: Wes Robert Ward "I lie in bed thinking…. conceiving, considering, contemplating, estimating, evaluating, examining, figuring, imaging, meditating, mulling, musing, pondering, rationalizing, reasoning, recalling, recollecting, reflecting, reminiscing, resolving, ruminating, and speculating, but why am I in bed thinking? Perhaps thinking is an amazing way around the sleepless mind, mayhap, but tell that to the boggled brain as it feels the stressful...
Topics: Sleepless, Thinker, Thinking, Insomnia
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Oct 9, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Bells" by Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849)                                  I. HEAR the sledges with the bells -- Silver bells! What a world of merriment their melody foretells! How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, in the icy air of night! While the stars that oversprinkle all the heavens, seem to twinkle with a crystalline delight; keeping time, time, time, in a sort of Runic rhyme, to the tintinnabulation that so musically wells from the bells, bells,...
Topics: Edgar Allan Poe, Bells
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Oct 9, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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   The Premature Burial by: Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849) THERE are certain themes of which the interest is all-absorbing, but which are too entirely horrible for the purposes of legitimate fiction. These the mere romanticist must eschew, if he do not wish to offend or to disgust. They are with propriety handled only when the severity and majesty of Truth sanctify and sustain them. We thrill, for example, with the most intense of "pleasurable pain" over the accounts of the Passage of...
Topics: Edgar Allan Poe, Burial, Horror
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Oct 9, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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'The Cemetery Plot' by: Wes Robert Ward In the dark, dismal night in the city of the dead, on a burial ground between a tomb and a crypt, in the graveyard grass, near a 'No Trespass', was an old stone upside down crucifix cross. On this unholy demonic tombstone that bled red was an epitaph that read and foresaid, "Here lies a diabolical Demon that is constantly dreaming, and if you wake him up, you'll be constantly screaming. For he will jump out of his grave, rip the flesh from your bones...
Topics: Cemetery, Plot, Demon, Crucifix, Unholy, Horror
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Oct 9, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Hand In The Tree" by: Wes Robert Ward One particular day not so long ago, I was starting to walk past this old oak tree near my house when I noticed something very odd indeed about it. In the middle of the tree was a big round hole, and as I looked at it suddenly a small white hand appeared out of the hole and wiggled it's index finger at me as if to say, "Come here." Well you know that old saying, curiosity killed the cat. My curious nature got the best of me and I had...
Topics: Hand, Tree, Wish, Wishes, Magic, Thing
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Oct 9, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Fruit Of Love" by: Wes Robert Ward "Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day, thou are more lovely and more passionate than a piece of fruit, though that piece of fruit be sweet, thy be more delicious and more delightful than something round and squishy. To me, thou are an apple of a cantaloupe, an orange of a grapefruit, a banana of a pineapple, a peach of a pear, a plum of a grape, a papaya of a mango, a guava of an avocado, a gooseberry of a huckleberry, a raspberry of a...
Topics: Fruit, Love, Romance
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Oct 8, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Moon" by: Wes Robert Ward I sat outside last night looking at the Moon in the calm quiet night. And as I listened to the night air, listened and breathed it in, filling my lungs in with the sweet air of the cool night, I suddenly realized something odd. Something so perplexing and confusing that it boggled my poor brain to a point of bewilderment. I looked up at the Moon and realized that it had gotten closer. What? Huh? I felt like it had moved? I rubbed my eyes and looked up...
Topics: Moon, Sun
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Oct 8, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Within Your Eyes" by: Wes Robert Ward "Within your eyes I am hypnotized, deep within there is a prize, there's also passion & love like two white Doves, below and above, well-thought of, not unheard of, flying through the air, anywhere & everywhere, without a thought or care, aloft your lovely hair flowing high and fair during a beautiful sunrise in my heart of paradise.... that is what I see within your eyes." The End. 💕
Topics: Eyes, Love, Romance
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Oct 8, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Third Eye" by: Wes Robert Ward Ever wonder what it would be like to have a third eye? I mean not no ordinary third eye but one in the middle of your forehead. Just think about it. That third eye would come in useful in so many ways. I mean I can't explain it but it would. Think about the advantage of staring contests with ordinary boring two-eyed people. That middle eye could train your other eyes with intense mental abilities to not blink for three weeks. I think that two-eyed guy...
Topics: Third, Eye, Eyes, Nose, Ears, Teeth, Fingers, Toes
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Oct 8, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Never Say Never" by: Wes Robert Ward "The scent of her essence is so immense and intense. The smell of her skin is a sin and zen. The aroma of her perfume never leaves my bedroom, and I hope it never will. There she sits by the window sill, wearing nothing but my shirt, still as I look upon her lovely pose, I suppose never could I ever love a woman such as her again, never, like a lure she has pulled me in, and she has stolen my heart like a thief within the night, never to...
Topics: Never, Love, Romance
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Oct 8, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Lady by the Chestnut Tree" by: Wes Robert Ward "There was a Lady I knew, that's sweet and kind, she with a beautiful face, that brought me peace of mind. I saw her once in the park, just passing by, and I knew then that I'd love her till the day I'd die. Her beauty, her walk, her smile, her laugh, her words, her style, I'll always know in my heart with a loving sigh, and I knew then that I'd love her till the day I die. Her nature free, her pretty looks, reminds me of the...
Topics: Lady, Chestnut, Tree, Love, Romance
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Oct 8, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Why I am not a Painter" by: Frank O'Hara (1926-1966) I am not a Painter, I am a Poet. Why? I think I would rather be a Painter, but I am not. Well, for instance, Mike Goldberg is starting a painting. I drop in. "Sit down and have a drink," he says. I drink; we drink. I look up at the painting and say, "You have the word SARDINES in it." He says, "Yes, it needed something there." "Oh." I go and the days go by, and I drop in again. The painting...
Topics: Sardines, Orange, Oranges, Painter, Artist, Poet
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Oct 8, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Winners & Losers" by: Wes Robert Ward "Sometimes the right one in someone's life, such as Love or Truelove is better than the wrong one in someone's life, such as Hate or Dead-Weight. Pick the right one, because if you pick the wrong one you will just be a Loser and no one wants a Loser. You must win to become a Winner cause Winners always win." The End. 😉
Topics: Winners, Losers
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Oct 8, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Poem You Asked For" by: Larry Levis (1946-1996) "My poem would eat nothing. I tried giving it water but it said no, worrying me. Day after day, I held it up to the light, turning it over, but it only pressed it's lips more tightly together. It grew sullen, like a toad through with being teased. I offered it all my money, my clothes, my car with a full tank. But the poem stared at the floor. Finally I cupped it in my hands, and carried it gently out into the soft air, into...
Topic: Poem
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Oct 8, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Me & My Toad" by: Wes Robert Ward Last night coming home I came across a big ugly Toad on my front step in front of my front door of my home in the Louisiana bayou. She was about the size of a 300 pound woman and I felt a little afraid of what she would do. That Toad looked up at me with these big bubbly yellow-like eyes, she had greasy oily skin from head to back, and her tongue flickered as if I was a harmless house fly. Suddenly I was very scared. The Toad ribbit,...
Topics: Budweiser, Toad
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Oct 8, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Questions & Answers" by: Wes Robert Ward "Here's a question for you, please help me to find the answer..... It's a rhetorical question, it's a brilliant question, it's a crucial question, it's a leading question, and it's an academic question that needs a clue, an explanation, an interpretation, a response, a solution, and an answer… …Why did the Chicken cross the Road? Why? What was the purpose? Please, tell me, I must know, it's like the Riddle of the Sphinx, it's like...
Topics: Questions, Answers
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Oct 8, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Perfection is a Myth" by: Wes Robert Ward "No one is perfect so don't even try to be, you don't see criticism from a tree. Perfection to me is a disease, so please let it be. There are those that try to perfect you and those that try to correct you, but in the end we are all normal and sadly many are abnormal. Perfection is a myth and even with or without the so-called Perfectionist knowledge many of us don't need their crutch or nudge, so leave your perfection to yourself and...
Topics: Perfection, Myth
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Oct 8, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Ode To An Old Oak Tree" by: Wes Robert Ward The Old Oak Tree lies in the middle of the road in Tennessee by an old railroad. For the mighty Oak Tree by the name of Big Ben that he was known in life has been blown down by wind like a sharp knife. All should be quiet and all should be peaceful, accept alas that will never be so thanks to the giant overflow of cars & trucks honking their horns. With no love but plenty of scorn, along with so much cussing & swearing, and many...
Topics: Old, Oak, Tree, Tennessee, Road, Traffic
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Oct 8, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"My Old Man" by: Charles Bukowski (1929-1994) I was 16 years old during the depression. I'd come home drunk and all my clothing… shorts, shirts, socks, suitcase, and the pages of my short stories would be thrown out on the front lawn and about the street. My Mother would be waiting behind a tree, "Charlie, Charlie, don't go in there. He'll kill you, he's read your stories....." I spat, "I can kick his ass...." She cried, "Charlie, please take this money and...
Topics: Charles Bukowski, Old Man, Charlie
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Oct 8, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Pussy, Pussy, Pussy" by: Wes Robert Ward "Pussy, Pussy, Pussy!" cried out an Old Woman, with a wrinkled face and gray hair, on her front porch, wearing a shabby brown house dress that's tattered, and squeaky pink slippers, with a teaspoon, and holding an open can of tuna. And I would say in front of her house, on the street, "No thank you, and I don't care how good that tuna is." The End. 🐈🐬
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Topics: Old Woman, Cats, Pussy, Tuna, Pussycats
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Oct 8, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"You Know What's Sexy" by: Wes Robert Ward "You know what's sexy? A woman eating a banana, or a hotdog, or pretty much anything they put in their mouth. It doesn't take much with us men. Heck, we still get off to Betty Boop, even though she's over 100. Now imagine Betty Boop kissing Jessica Rabbit. Every banana just turned into a raging cucumber, and every hotdog became a sausage." The End. 💕
Topics: Betty Boop, Jessica Rabbit, Banana, Hotdog
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Oct 7, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"The Christopher Walken Golf Tee" sponsored by: Christopher Walken "Hello, I'm Christopher Walken, you might know me from many of my splendid movies such as this & that, but I won't go into any of that nonsense. Instead I want to introduce to you a new golf tee. Yes, the Christopher Walken Golf Tee. Just push me into the golf course grass, put your golf ball on top of my head, and swing away. Trust me, my head can hold your golf ball very easily with no worries that it might...
Topics: Christopher Walken, Golf Tee, Golf, Golf Ball
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Oct 7, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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"Alice In Playground Land" by: Wes Robert Ward Little Alice was a little rebel on the playground. Like the Hound of Baskerville she attacked the other children left and right with sticks and stones, and other things as well. Children thought she came from Hell. If the Devil had a daughter then Alice would be perfect, for she'd deck the Pope himself then spit on his neck, kick him once then twice. She was not nice, she'd even give him a wet Willy in the ear then give him a wedgie in...
Topics: Alice, Pete, War, Playground, Highlander, Mortal Kombat, Flawless Victory
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Oct 6, 2019 Wes Robert Ward
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Love Fruit" by: Wes Robert Ward "Your lips tastes like cherries, your nipples taste like strawberries, your sex tastes like grapes of pleasure, and my banana is...... God." The End. 🍒🍓🍇🍌
Topics: Love, Fruit, Cherries, Cherry, Strawberries, Strawberry, Grape, Grapes, Banana, God. Romance, Sex