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tv   The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore  Comedy Central  January 21, 2015 11:31pm-12:02am PST

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>> larry: the state of the union. obama care or obama don't care? there are so many middle aged black women in congress, i thought i was watching an earth, wind and fire concert. ( laughter ) and obama finally gave the secret wink for all the black americans to rise up. let the race war begin! don't just sit there like john boehner. stand up and clap. this is "the nightly show." captioning sponsored by
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comedy central ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: thank you very much. please, please, thank you. oh no, no. thank you. welcome-- okay. no i really appreciate it. welcome. welcome to "the nightly show." i am your host larry wilmore. ( cheers and applause ) thank you. i appreciate it. very nice. now, that really means-- that really means a lot to me but i gotta quiet down to business here because last night our country gathered together to hear from one of the most important black voices in american history. thanks for watching, everyone. ( applause ) ( laughter ) yeah!
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i thought our show last night was baller! are you just going to leave me hanging? okay. so what else happened? oh, yeah, the lead-in to our show was the president's state of the union speech. but what i want to focus on tonight is the state of obama, okay. now, before we get in too deep on this, i need to be clear about something. i voted for obama because he's wrack black. ( laughter ) ( applause ) i'm clearing it up. people always ask me, "but, larry--" this is true. this is not-- this is not an imagined conversation, you guys. ( laughter ) oh it's two larrys. but "but, larry, do you agree with obama's policies?" and here's the truth-- i agree with the policy that he's black. ( applause ) and-- which and then they say,
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"but shouldn't you vote based on principle?" that's correct. and my guiding principle is that as long as he's still black-- ( applause ) he and i agree on principle. we're good. we're good. yes. exactly. all right. i just wanted to lay the groundwork for what's about to come, okay. okay back to the state of the union. so let's economic in and see how he's doing. >> tonight, after a breakthrough year for america our economy is growing and creating jobs at the fastest pace since 1999. >> larry: okay, all right. well my first gut instinct on on this syeah, he's still black, so it's all good. "@midnight" is up next. good night, everybody! oh, we have to keep going. oh okay. of course. what else? the economy is in good shape. okay that's a bonus. what else did the president have to say? >> last month we launched a new spacecraft as part a reenjerzed
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space program and send astronauts to mars. and condemn persecution of women, minorities, or people who are gay, transsexual, gairks. >> larry: man, those are powerful words. sticking up for the l.g.b.t.-- wait a minute. did you say we were going to mars? man, that's dreaming big. that sound like the old obama. you know, all awe caishes and hope-y. >> we've seen the fastest economic growth in over a decade, our deficits cut by to-thirds, a stock market that has doubled and health care inflation at its lowest rate in 50 years. ( applause ) this is good news, people. ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( laughter ). >> larry: wait wait. did we just wink? let's see that again in slow motion. ( cheers and applause )
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wait, wait a second. hold on a second. doesn't he realize he just lost an historic election? i mean both houses by historic margins. even his own party was deserting him. doesn't obama know he won't be able to get anything done in his last two years? oh! he doesn't give a ( bleep ). ( cheers and applause ) no! yes! no wonder he's throwing mars at us man. ( bleep ). why not jupiter, obama, right? jupiter's got more moves, man. yes! oh man. and it's got-- you know some ( bleep ) going down on that right? ain't no party like a spot party because a spot party don't stop.
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( applause ) unless you reverse the letters and then technically it does stop. obama, he just doesn't care. he doesn't care what people think anymore. look, check out the aw snap moment of the night. okay? >> i have no more campaigns to run. ( applause ) my only agenda-- ( laughter ) i know because i won both of them. ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: oooooooh! oh man. that is amazing. calm down, maxine waters. you're not watching a world star video. ( laughter ) though i have to agree with you maxine, he's got his groove back. >> if you truly believe you can
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work full time and support a family on less than $15,000 a year, try it. it's not. vote to give the hardest working people in america a raise. ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: oh my god! this is amazing. he got back his '04 oratory with six years of executive experience. this is the guy we've been waiting for finally! ( applause ) someone who is not interested in polls or what people think. someone who's just going to have a vision for something and stick to it. this is the worst part-- in two years his lease is up. ( laughter ) ( applause ) well, look, he may not get anything done in the next two years, but at least he'll still be black. ( cheers and applause ) we'll be right back.
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amy holmes, and comedian godfrey. okay. so, we're talking about the state of obama, where he is. now i noticed when obama when he first ran in 2008 i felt a lot of people were projecting what they wanted to see in him. i felt like the right demonized him, and the left defied him. on the right he was a devil, on the left he was a black jesus, right? david, you spent a lot of time talking to obama. >> actually that does matter. >> we claimed him as one of our own. >> as you should. >> up to a point. >> larry: but i wanted to know because you spent an enormous amount of time with obama. if you had a girl you wanted to introduce to obama-- now, michelle, take it easy if you're
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watching. it's just hypothetical. >> where is this going? >> larry: no, you're good. how would you describe to her who obama is, like, in real simple, human terms. how would you describe him? here's my friend barry and he's-- >> cool as a cucumber. >> larry: cool as a cucumber. that's what you would say? >> yes, the personality some people say is disengaged, dissident, a writer's personality. >> larry: you're saying he might ignore you at first. >> in a very cool way. >> larry: jon, huet different experience. writing for obama you got a little closer. you didn't have that reporter with obama smoking the nicorette version. you had the cigarette. what is your take on obama? who is he in the secret way-- not the secret way but you know what i mean. >> the thing is, you meet politicians in d.c. -- >> were you going to say boring? >> no, he's not boring. everybody's kind of boring. no but the-- you know you meet people in d.c., politicians, and
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they put one face out to the public and behind the scenes they're devious lunatics and head cases and broken garbage people. ( laughter ) ( applause ) they are. they're -- >> that describes every politician, as far as i'm concerned. >> you know, shortsighted, venable cowardly, like, some of that. >> "house of cards," exactly. >> the truth si think what david said is right. that i think one of the reasons people did project so much on to him-- what you see is what you get. he is as mild-mannered, you know progressive democrat who has a list of-- it's that simple. it's very simple. >> larry: right i get it. ( applause ) >> there's one part of that, that is complex and that's the part that has to do with race.
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he is the first african american president, and he cannot say everything that he wants to say at every given moment. when you become president, double consciousness becomes quadrupled-- >> you can only keep it about 20% real. >> larry: i joked about race being a factor for me. was that a factor for you? >> yeah. since it's close to black history month that's how i talk during february. that's how i speak. >> we're not even in february yet! >> i'm warming up. >> larry: how much did it mean to you on a personal level? was your family-- were they like-- >> they were because he's-- i'm nigerian, so he's a half-rican. he's kenyan, so the africans we're like-- that meant a lot to us. but i vote-- just like you, it was a black thing to me. i didn't care about policies.
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it was the easiest vote ever. larry, i didn't -- >> i'm with you! >> when i voted i didn't slide the curtain. i kept it open. >> i know. >> they asked me "do you want privacy?" "no, you know why i'm here." >> larry: okay hold it, amy, i have to ask you, as a conservative, i'll assume you votedded on your principles okay? years from now, like your kids or grand kids or whatever if say they, "grandma, what was it like voting for the first black president?" and you didn't, would you feel like-- ( applause ) what would you say? >> you're asking me if hypothetically i did not vote for barack obama. >> larry: you did not. >> i would tell them 2008 was a transformative moment for america that i was really proud of actually. half of my family voted for obama, and half didn't.
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but we all felt-- that it was-- it was a moment-- it was a moment that i think so a lot of americans were proud of, whom ever they voted for, in the hopes it was going to move our country forward. but get back to your question about who is president obama? he himself has said he's a rohrshach test, that people project their hopes, their dreams their angers, their resentments on to obama. i'm sorry, what you see is not what you get. he campaignedaise centrist pragmatist, not as a left-leaning progressives and i think that surprised a lot of american voters. >> i think he campaigned as somebody who gives great speeches, to be honest with you. >> that's right. ( applause ). >> obama was like yeah this, yeah this. oh hey, hillary follow this. when people-- now, you get a lot of criticism of obama right now because-- now we have some
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information, you know. he's done some things. we have some information. >> it has been six years. >> larry: we have some information right. we have data right. but it seems to me the criticism from the right they always used the word "incompetent." that bugged me a little bit. well, you didn't make a mistake but incompetent. i could be wrong about this but that feels like it has a tinge of racism. >> a tinge? it's racist period. like i said, it's all-- to me-- looking at it from, i'm not all politically savvy like you guys. i don't care. it's all about about black to me. i don't give a damn. the only reason i watch the speeches is because it's a black dude talking. i even watched it at starbucks on purpose to tell everybody to shut up and drink your lattes. you know what i mean? >> larry: david, david, from your perspective as a reporter, do you sense that out there or is that just bull ( bleep )? >> that people think he's
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incompetent? >> larry: no, that the criticism of incompetent has racism attached to it. >> i think is there some racism involved in the critique of obama with some people? yeah. you bet there is. >> most! >> but do i think it's across the board? no. that would be insulting to people who have critical minds-- >> that would be insulting to actual racists david. hey hey hey. you get your own hate. i got mine. >> the idea that president obama hasn't been exactly what he said he would do-- i mean, there's nothing about the previous six years that should be a surprise to anybody. what has been a surprise. >> there was a story that he came into the oval office with a list of all the things he wanted to do after 2012, and his own campaign adviser said "we can't say that. you're not going to get re-elected if you campaign on what you truly want to get done." >> first of all, you can say that a couple of things-- whatever. there are examples-- >> obama even said it "i won
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twice, man!" >> larry: we'll be right back, we'll be right back with "keep it 100".
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call "keep it 100". "keep it 100" means you have to tell the absolute truth. we're going to start with jon. all right, jon. i'm not expecting you to tell me what this is, okay but do you know manage about obama that you can't tell us because it would damage his reputation? >> oooh! yeah! >> larry: you think about this too long you're not keeping it 100. >> i wish i did because it would make me look better. you know what no? don't boo me. i wish i knew. i don't care. honestly, fiknew i would tell you. i'm a comedy writer now. i don't care. i don't, i don't. i mean-- what? you know what? that's fine, that's fine. terrific. >> larry: he may be contingent the truth.
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david remnick. >> i don't want the tea. >> larry: just "keep it 100", that's all you have to do. or you can also keep it 100. in all your interviews with obama, okay, did you ever have a moment where you thought this guy's an ( bleep )? >> yes! okay! keep it 100. keep it 100! keep it 100! ( cheers and applause ). >> when he told me about isis, just because you have a laker jersey doesn't mean you're kobe bryant. i wouldn't say that was a ( bleep ) moment but disingenuous to the highest degree. >> larry: i would love you if you told me at that moment you thought he was a ( bleep ). that's how it works, my friend. that's how it works.
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( laughter ) >> larry: okay amy last night, no republicans stood up for equal pay for women last night okay. now let's imagine you're sitting there at the state of the union, right on camera, like boehner, that's where you're sitting. >> behind the president. >> larry: exactly wherever, you're on camera. as a woman would you-- you're a republican okay-- as a woman, do you stand up? no. >> larry: thees keeping it 100. that's keeping it a hundred. >> the audience is supposed to cheer for me being honest. >> they did. they did. ( applause ) >> well they're noscheering for your position. >> larry: here we go, you're on your way to vote in 2008. remember how happy you were, you walk bot booth and you see barack obama killing somebody,
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okay. this is your guy. >> yeah. >> larry: i'm voting for the brother. oh, ( bleep ). you see him killing somebody in a dark alley. i don't know the circumstances. maybe he was justified. but, do you vote for the murderer or the white guy? >> the murderer. ( cheers and applause ) i don't care how it happens. he's black and i want him to win. we're all about that. >> larry: and on that note, we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )
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now. okay, all right. give meet question. okay, tonight's question comes from @jellykidlives. "do you think someone else would have made a better first black president?" uh um... i was going to say jesse but that's a different black president. no. i think barack obama is the perfect first black president. i do. ( cheers and applause ) i do. okay. kept it 100. that was easy. hey, you guys have to give me some harder ones. that was too easy. tomorrow night we're going to be talking about cube a, so ask me your best "keep it 100" question about cuba and don't forget the hashtag. until then, good night everybody. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by
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comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh captioning sponsored by comedy central it's 11:59 and 59 seconds this happened on youtube today. >> i have no more campaigns to run. my only agenda-- i know cuz i won both of them. >> that is president obama going off script a little bit to address some hecklers in the state of the union to deliver the sic executive burn that lit up social media and was best summed up on vine by funny or die. >> i know cuz i won both of them
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