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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  August 26, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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kornegay at the westgate superbook thinks they could be a ten-win team this season. he's predicting a record season for football bets at the westgate. we also asked about daily fantasy sports trying to make their way back into nevada... and what effect they have on the books: (( jay kornegay/westgate superbook: "the bottom line is that daily fantasy leagues should go through the licensing process as we all have and they should pay the same fees, the same taxes as all other licensees in the state of nevada." )) ((denise valdez)) >> jay told us he doesn't think draft kings and fan duel will have a huge impact on sports books because of the unlimited gaming options here. a proposal submitted earlier this week to gain permission to operate in nevada without a gaming license was met with skepticism from state officials./// ((dave courvoisier)) there's been a nationwide outcry over the skyrocketing price of life-saving epipen drugs. now, emergency responders in salt lake city say they have a much cheaper solution: (( cary turner/ slc ems coordinator: "it does exactly the same thing. this was $3.50 versus $400." //
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ahead and grabbed an orange, pretending it was a patient's skin, and we walked through and taught all our emt's to draw their own medications." )) ((dave courvoisier)) >> cary turner devised a kit with a small vial of the drug -- epinephrine -- and a syringe to replace the pens. now, all emt's in their division carry the kits to calls just in case. turner says the cost savings have been passed on to patients and the department./// ((denise valdez)) here's a back to schl attention... a north carolina teacher says she's found that assigning no homework is a more successful teaching tool than assigning homework every night. so amanda robertson has done away with it. the fourth grade teacher assigned homework every night for seven years... but found that it was actually hurting students. that's when she made the switch and saw immediate results: (( amanda robertson/ 4th grade teacher: "their proficiency scores and their growth scores, you know, our end of grade tests and everything -- everything kind of all skyrocketed last year." ))
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time to go over homework... robertson is using that time to do more hands-on learning and individualized instruction. she has the support of her superintendent. research by duke university supports the no homework trend./// ((dave courvoisier)) president obama is expanding a national monument first created by president george w. bush into the world's largest protected area. the name is a mouthful... the papahanau mokuakea coast of hawaii will more than quadruple its existing size. the sanctuary will protect reefs, marine life habitats and thousands of animals found only there./// ((denise valdez)) >> a few scattered showers
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looking outside showing some hazy skies still at this hour due to smoke from wildfires burning in california. air quality advisory remains in effect through tomorrow. winds still remain gusty at times from the southwest and do expect some gusts at times tomorrow but not as strong. temps remain at or slightly below normal, but we should be not as hot tomorrow. ........... ........................ ......... valley temps near 100 throughout the region. hottest over to the east side of the valley not as hot over the west sid eand foothillls at today. great conditions up in kyle canyon where it still remain comfortable in the afternoon and evening hours. ................................ ... ........... region-wide temps show it hottest in the death valley and laughlin. very warm down the colorado river valley with in the 100's this afternoon from mesquite down river to laughlin. not as hot and more tolerablet temps can be found up in the central great
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... ........... u.s. temps show hot and muggy conditions continue for areas in the lower plains through the deep south. the heat returns to the mid-atlantic states but not as muggy as early august where heat indices were up to 105 in some spots. cooler in the upper plains with more warm weather for seattle as they continue with sunshine and heat. ................................ ... ............ dry and hazy conditions can be found right now, with storms firing up in lincoln and mohave counties. we do expect a chance of some of this moisture to return in a southerly and southeasterly flow as the next system comes in from the west ine storm chances for tomorrow and saturday. best chances still remain in the higher terrain and to the east. ................................ ... ............. tonight expect a low around 80 with winds breezy at times early and relaxing winds by midnight. hazy early and mostly clear late night. tomorrow expect a high around 98 with temps still in the 100's for those eastside neighborhoods. winds a slight breeze from the south with increasing shower chances in the afternoon and in the slight category. ................................ ... ............. neighborhood by neighborhood
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green valley and henderson. mid to high 90's for the far westside of town and up near aliante in the north sections. . .............................. .... .................. extended forecast calls for slight shower chances tomorrow and saturday. temps will drop to the 90's then rebound back to near average in the 102 range by next week. expect a drier more desert-like setting next week as the monsoon retreats east and south.
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looking to get off to a fast start... jon joins us now -- how did they look? ((jon tritsch)) >> we saw a few fast starts and plenty of speed... we've got highlights from liberty and arbor view... along wits plus tough news for unlv... hear which top playmaker is going to miss the season..sports is next./// ((jon tritsch)) the friday night lights turned
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the week delivered a week one thriller.. liberty thought they would steamroll arbor view..the aggies thought the patriots were a bit overrated..tonig ht only one public school powerhouse
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first play.. liberty's pass from kenyon oblad tipped..and caught by josh zepeda.. 2 plays later ethan dedeaux..and ethan electrifies... touchdown.. hello heisman arbor view responds.. dekarri gunn on the power sweep.. aggies go up 9-6 liberty ready to light the scoreboap dedeaux..and the future sdsu aggie burns the other aggies..55 yard touchdown.. but arbor view defense steps up..interception by michael sims and he's going to make a house call.. arbor view retakes the lead.. liberty's action strike to tight end trenton sipes..... but arbor view has something to
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bulldozes the aggies to the lead.. 4th quarter.. here come the patriots.. oblad to darion acohido... and liberty holds on in a thriller 27-23 (( )) mojave at silverado..skyh cunningham..back safe from rio.. hawks defense smothering mojave.. big time sack for ceejay liana time to air it out.. christian baltodano to tyrece newsome..'s newsome party for 6...
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faith lutheran welcoming st. pius of the houston area..check out the kicking game.. brandon hann with the lethal leg.. good with distance.. but you don't travel from houston if you're not loaded..grant gunnel showing off the arm strength to perry carter... and the lonestar state boys win convincingly 42-10 photojournalist neb solomon rivetting highlights...inst ead he got crazy wind.. torrential rain.. and probably locusts too.. the game was delayed for an hour but las vegas finishes on top 28-7 ((jon tritsch)) tough news out of camp rebel.. wide receiver kendal keys was poised for a break out season..but that will have to wait the dynamic playmaker was expected to be a top target and a deep threat in the unlv offense..but coach sanchez broke the tough news to us tonight after practice.. keys is out with an injury..and the rebels will have to rally
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first to hear about it. kendal keys had knee surgery yesterday and is done for the year. really unfortunate because he was one of the guys we were looking forward to having a great season. but he'll get a redshirt year and have two more. you know you look at it now, we have some great guys to step up, we have darren woods and brandon presley. you already knew what boyd can do. mackay stevenson has had a great camp. elijah truss is there/ there are some guys who've stepped up and we are confident in them.") ((dave courvoisier)) our strange stories for friday ((jon tritsch))
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ads for joe heck are attacking my time as attorney general. the thing they left out is the truth. the truth is crime actually went down during my time in office. that's why i've been endorsed by law enforcement across nevada. i'm proud of my record cracking down on meth, protecting seniors from scams, ng homeowners. i'm catherine cortez masto. i approve this message because i've spent my career solving problems.
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((dave courvoisier)) mandatory overtime hours for some california police
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their station in r-v's! the rule forces them to work up to 17-hour days. combined with the region's terrible traffic and long commutes... the officers are opting to sleep in the parking lot. san jose's mayor blames low pay... and hopes voters pass a measure that would help them hire more cops./// ((denise valdez)) a utah woman is not dead. the problem is... the government thinks she is and that's causing her credit card to get declined. social security workers have promised to fix the mistake... but so far no results. barbara murphy says thiha she wants to know how the mistake was made... and have someone held accountable./// ((tedd florendo)) two canadian best friends have figured out that they were switched at birth 41 years ago! they had a long-held suspicion that there may have been a mistake and a d-n-a test just proved it. the men were born three days apart in the same hospital in 1975... and want answers as to how this happened. there is a silver lining... they say now they feel like one
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that's all for us live at eleven. ((denise valdez)) >> the late show with stephen colbert is next with rachel weisz and kevin smith. have a great weekend!/// news music
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>> if you're a twen you can expect to live longer than your nontwin counterparts and if you're an identical male twin you might live even longer. >> stephen: i did not know that. well, well, well, seems you'll be stuck with me for quite a long time. >> stephen: and the same goes for our twin kitties. >> stephen: hey, guys. did they say anything about how long triplets live?
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>> it's "the late show"" with stephen colbert. tonight, stephen welcomes rachel weisz. kevin smith. and spike feresten. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! captioning sponsored by cbs ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: nice to see you. ( cheers and applause )
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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thanks, everybody. thanks down here. that's a fantastic. what a lovely crowd. you can tell a friday crowd when you hear one. there's no-- you can't-- you cannot fake that. >> jon: right, yeah. >> stephen: you know that'sed from. welcome to "the late show." i'm stephen colbert. your host this friday. ( applause ) ? it's friday it's friday oh ? it's friday ? >> stephen: i don't know what song you're dancing to but i like it. i have a quick word of warning before we get started tonight. tonight's monologue was created in a factory that also processes peanuts. it's important to say in case anyone has an allergy. especially now, because mylan, the company that produces these
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they have jacked up the price of these pens for less than $100 for a pair to over 600 bucks. yeah, that price is enough to send you into shock, but don't do it because you can't afford the pen anymore. now, mylan pharmaceuticals claims the price, "has changed over time to better reflect the value the product provides." ( laughter ) saving the lives of people who can't breathe. or as mylan likes to call them, "gasping, cash-filled meat sacks." ( laughter ) now all of this, you know, hiking up of medicine, reminds a lot of people of a guy named martin shkreli, the pharma bro who jacked up the cost of h.i.v. drugs by 5,000%. can we put up a picture of
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( cheers and applause ) and when asked about mylan, shkreli certainly had something to shkrell about it. >> these are life-saving drugs. people don't have a choice whether they can buy them or not. >> yeah, well, that's up to insurance to pay for them. like i said, it's $300 a pen. $300. my iphone is $70 o >> but you don't need an iphone to exist. >> yeah, that doesn't matter though, because it's $300 and 90% of americans are insured. >> stephen: okay, i've got two problems with that: his total heartlessness, and her assertion that it is possible to exist without an iphone. so does she have a galaxy? i don't understand. well, after starting a firestorm, yesterday, mylan's c.e.o., heather bresch, came forward to address the criticism. >> heather, surely you must understand the outrage.
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has said this is basically the same product it was in 2009, and yet the price has gone up 300- or 400-fold. >> so, look, no one's more frustrated than me. ( laughter ) >> stephen: she's frustrated! i mean, the tone-deafness of that just takes your breath away. and getting your breath back will cost you over 600 bucks. ( cheers and applause ) now, in other news-- in other news, the f.b.i. is investigating whether russian intelligence agencies have hacked the computers at the "new york times." or, as the "times" reported it, "putin named world's sexiest leader." ( laughter ) oh, here's a new occupational hazard to worry about: if you play the bagpipes-- and who
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among us hasn't dabbled-- watch out that you don't get what doctors are calling "bagpipe lung." that's when the mold and fungi lurking inside your bagpipe trigger coughing, shortness of breath, and even fever. i mean physical fever, not bagpipe fever. which we all have. this is according to an article in a medical journal called-- and this is true-- "thorax." i'm a subscriber. i keep it on my coffee table between the latest issue of "ant head" and "wasp abdomen." ( laughter ) bagpipe lung-- took a while for that to sing in, took a while. remember your eighth grade biology class? all right. footnotes for everybody. what's going on here, bagpipe lung can be tricky to diagnose. it's hard to distinguish a hacking cough from just a scottish accent. "och, let's go to loch lomond and eat some potted hough."
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so hasty with the... this week in other news-- yes, there is other news other than bagpipe lung. this week, mcdonald's recalled millions of fitness bands because they contain dangerous levels of irony. ( laughter ) ( applause ) it's in the happy meal. in the happy meal. i'll wait. i'll wait. mcdonald's recalled the wristbands after they left people with burns and blisters-- which, technically, is the job of their apple pie filling. any lord of the rings fans out there? me, too. well, a story just came out about napster billionaire sean parker's "lord of the rings" themed wedding back in 2013. here's what happened.
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that he turned down $1.5 million to officiate the wedding as gandalf, saying, "i am sorry, gandalf doesn't do weddings." damn right! gandalf doesn't have time to marry you, sean parker! he is the servant of the secret fire, wielder of the flame of anor. he killed the mothertruckin' balrog, after chasing the ancient immortal demon through the tunnels of khazad dum until they climbed the peak of zirakzigil where he smote the demon's ruin on the mountain ( cheers and applause ) yeah! no, i'm mad! i'm angry now! and you know-- did you know, gandalf himself died and then returned from the dead as gandalf the white. and why? so he can marry the napster guy?! no! napster hasn't been a thing since the earindel flew vingilot to valinor. if you invite gandalf to do the
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you invite gand afl, column's going to want to be the ring bearer and somebody's losing a finger. now say hello to the fellowship of jon batiste and stay human. ? ? ? my, my. ( applause ) ( cheers ) fantastic. fantastic. i am so excited it's friday. jon, do you have any plans this weekend? >> jon: oh, wow, this weekend -- >> did you stump you? did i stump you? >> jon: yeah, i did. i didn't realize we weren't done with the show yet. i'm in show mode. >> stephen: and show mode, you don't know what you're doing later? >> jon: show mode i don't know nothing. i just know bumper. then bump in.
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walk-on. bump-out. good night. go home. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: that's a good description of the show. >> jon: i'm not thinking about the weekend yet. >> stephen: that's what actually says in the little digital dpied on your cable. bump in, bump out, guest walks in, go home. >> jon: no, no, guest walks out, good night, go home. >> stephen: all right, i've got a lot to learn, evidently. show, i wield unlimited power. for instance, any time i want, i can remind you of the cool, refreshing taste of bud light. but you know what? i would never do that. because that's an abuse of me power. weekend is starting soon. and yet there are those even even more powerful than i. history's most despotic leaders.
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oh, do not cross him, or he will sentence you to play for the knicks. these merciless tyrants have but two things in common, and one of them is a big furry hat! ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) now that this hat is upon my head, i am endowed with unquestionable power! this is due to my hat's two main attributes: its bigness, and its furriness. any proclamations i make while thusly en-hattened are now and forever law.
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( cheers and applause ) henceforth, whenever i order a side of fruit with my omelette, the waitress shall accidentally bring me hashbrowns. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) from this day on, actor paul rudd must begin aging like the rest of us. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) i hereby decree, anyone who says, "it is what it is," will be hit with it and not told what it was. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) anyone who brags about his or her standing desk shall be forced to use a standing toilet.
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( applause ) i declare that any child who kicks the airplane seat in front of them may be used as a flotation device. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) let it be written that if a neighbor asks you to pick up their mail, you are allowed to open it first. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) by the way, grandpa batiste, thank you for the $25. ( laughter ) i'll be sure-- i'll be sure jon gets it. every fifth popsicle stick must have an adult joke. ha-ha.
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( applause ) someone must finally explain why it's okay to bury somebody alive at the beach but wrong when you do it in the woods. the hat has spoken! we will be right back with rachel weisz. ? ? ? ( applause ) nexium 24 hour introduces new, easy-to-swallow tablets. for more people... to experience... complete protection from frequent heartburn. nexium 24hr. the easy-to-swallow tablet is here. time is the most valuable thing there is. since the beginning of time, there never seemed to be enough of it. people try to beat time. ahhhhh! but time always wins. our greatest fear is running out of time. there's a bomb in the salsa can! we gotta get out of here!
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? ? ? ( applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my first guest tonight is an oscar-winning actress you know from movies like "the constant gardener," "the mummy," and "the lobster." she now stars in the new movie, "complete unknown." please welcome, rachel weisz! >> hello! good evening. one kiss. ? ? ? ( applause ) >> stephen: just now i gave you one kiss or you gave me one kiss and you said, "one kiss." >> yes. >> stephen: is that because two was an option? >> i was told that if i was going to give you two, i should let you know in advance, but i didn't have time to. >> stephen: somebody backstage actually said, warn him if you kiss him twice? >> yes, because i'm such a good
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i was like, i'm not going to screw things up on stephen colbert, i'm going to do one kiss. i thought if i gave two, it might throw you off. >> stephen: let's find out. one! >> two. >> stephen: that's three. that's three. ( cheers and applause ) >> three. you don't have any lipstick. >> no lipstick. >> stephen: okay. the results are in. and it threw me off. because i'm a huge fan of yours. your performance in "the constant gardener" obviously you told your husband when he was was here, daniel craig, it was one of the most beautiful, subtle, nuanced performance i have ever seen. >> thank you, my goodness me, thank you so much. >> stephen: thank you, thank you. and now your new film is called, let me get this right, "complete unknown." >> yes. >> stephen: and you play a woman who actually has multiple identities. >> yes. >> stephen: who is the character and why is she doing this?
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she has a pathological need to become people for many years. so, she will, for five or six years, change her name, her social security number, her profession, fake diplomas, fake college degrees, and say, "i'm a nurse and have these diplomas," and go live in a new city, with a new name, with a new sartorial look. >> stephen: is she running from the police? why is she doing this? >> no, she's not. she's just pathologically unwell. la >> well, i mean, to point out the obvious, you're an actress, and you do that professionally. ( laughter ) is there anything-- >> aahhh! >> stephen: is there-- i mean-- >> i hear you. >> stephen: it's an obvious question, obviously, but is there anything about your love of acting, inhabiting other people's personas, that is pathological, you think? >> it's really-- i hear what you're saying-- but it's really different being an actor.
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day to my family and my-- my real life. and when i've been on the stage or i've been on the set making a movie, everybody knows they have to make up lies, right? there's a contract. >> stephen: right, right. >> we're lie-making together. whereas this woman in the film is just doing it on her own. she's writing her own script. she's making her own movies. >> stephen: and how many different identities do we see? >> nine. >> stephen: is this like "cybil" or something, where there are >> my character does not have different accents, though. she just has-- she stays in america, yeah. >> stephen: okay. >> she's american. >> stephen: she's american. >> like me! yeah, she's american. >> stephen: are you american? >> no. >> stephen: i don't know, because sometimes people are born here and move over to england and get the speech impediment, but they come back-- ( laughter ) they can't break it. they can't break it. they can't break it.
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you said, "we were lying together. as actors, actors lying together." are you a good liar? >> no. >> stephen: really? >> i'm terrible. >> stephen: that's what a good liar would say. >> you got me there is there did >> stephen: did you lie as a child? did you make up stories and stuff like that? >> yeah, but in my head, on my own. i didn't, like, spread them. spread the lies. are you into lies? >> stephen: i loved it. i loved lying. >> did you. >> stephen: i loved the idea. i would lie to anybody on a plane. i would lie what my occupation is, what i do. >> what did you say? you can't do it anymore because you're very recognizable. >> stephen: no, i can't anymore. >> what a shame. >> stephen: it was a lot of fun. >> like what? >> stephen: if it was a young guy on the plane, "what do you do for a living?" "i run a security firm. we just do modeling shoots. we just make sure the young, beautiful models can get from place to place." and they're like, "that's the greatest job in the world!" "yeah, it's pretty cool. it's how i met my wife.
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( applause ) i said-- we have to take a little break here. you can stick around? >> you aroused envy. >> stephen: i aroused envy? that's not all i aroused. we'll be right back with more rachel weisz. get to kohl's now for great savings on all the denim your kids want! get every shade of blue and even polk-a-dots too! plus yes2you rewards members spent. get a $5 reward for every 100 points! now that's the good stuff. kohl's. ? sorry... sorry... regerts? sorry, i was eating a milky way. ? ? ? the ford freedom sales event is on! our biggest event of the year just got better!
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>> after 15 years pretending to be someone else, i infiltrate his dinner with another name. >> stephen: we're back with rachel weisz. and in the film, "complete unknown" that we were talking about before the break, also in the film is michael shannon, who plays a man who is-- well, he's hip to your game. >> yeah, he knew me 15 years ago when i was somebody-- before i started reinventing myself.
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>> stephen: wow. >> yes. and i show up at his dinner party, at his birthday party with another name. and i say, "hi, i'm jenny." and he's like, "what?" >> stephen: and he says the following. jim? >> you know they used to lock the building on sundays to make us stop practicing and get out of those tiny piano studios. i didn't know what to do with myself. i went across town, and i remember seeing the list of all the different departments you guys had. an you looked at me so differently when i told you the truth about-- >> i was impressed. i liked who you were. >> stephen: is he-- ( applause ) does he-- can he accept that you've done all this in the 15 years since you've seen him?
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night-- it all takes place in 24 hours, the main part of the movie-- he's kind of jealous, and he sort of toys with the-- he's jealous. he kind of feels like this would be kind of a cool thing to do. >> stephen: because you can become anything you want. >> it starts by being crazy to him, and then it becomes appealing. >> stephen: again, like an actress. it seems a crazy thing to do, but then if someone is good at it, it's very attractive. >> thank you. ( applause ) >> stephen: you're also doing-- very attractive. you're going to be on broadway again? >> no, downtown new york at the public theater. >> stephen: oh, the public theater. sure, what are you doing there? >> doing a play called "plenty." >> stephen: david hair. >> yes, and he wrote the screen play for "denial." >> stephen: "denial." that's very nice. you performed in the west end in london, right? >> yes. >> stephen: and you performed in america. what's the difference between the audiences? with the lights off, can you tell the audience-- the differences between the audiences?
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( laughter ) >> stephen: are you willing to share what the difference is? >> yes. ( laughter ) it's an audio thing. i mean, you can hear it with the lights off. so, number one, a very simple thing in america, when people have reached a certain kind of celebrity come on the stage-- >> such as yourself. >> possibly even in the middle of a scene, walk on, the audience claps. it's called troving. >> stephen: you come in and say, "i caught you cheating," or whatever. and the audience goes, "whoa! that's rachel weisz." >> you've seen plays on broadway. >> stephen: sure. you're on broadway right now. >> in england that doesn't happen. >> stephen: they don't give it up for stars? >> never, ever. >> stephen: they make you earn it every time. >> they make you wait until the end. >> stephen: we'll let you know if it's good at the end. which one do you prefer? >> i'm just more used to the british one because i lived there longer.
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they're feeling about the play. ( laughter ) it's true. >> stephen: "you're doing a great job!" >> yeah, or the reverse. >> stephen: "you suck!" >> well, i did a play in 2002, i think it was, and it was uptown at the promenade theater. it was the first time i did a play here and i was playing a character who was not nice at all. and oftentimes, they would be-- you know, it sounded like more older ladies from uptown, from the upper west side. i would hear them say to their friends during the play, "oh, sh really! >> stephen: wow. hopefully you get the same with the public theater. good luck. it was lovely to meet you finally. >> nice to meet you. >> stephen: rachel weisz, everybody. "complete unknown" is in theaters now.
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nevada. so even though i'm a republican, i won't be voting for joe heck. joe heck's voted ten times to defund planned parenthood, which thousands of women depend on for cancer screenings. and heck opposes a woman's right to choose even when her health is at risk. for me and my patients, joe heck makes no sense.
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my next guest is a cult movie machine. he's been writing and directing films like "clerks," "mallrats," and "dogma" for over 20 years. please welcome kevin smith! ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thanks for the double hug. >> it was on both sides. can i share, before we go any further, this is-- this is such a huge night for me because i-- this is going to sound weird-- but i wake up to you every morning. you're the first face i see when i wake up. ( cheers ) because my wife sleeps in so i wake up usually by myself. everyone sleeps in. so i wake up and get stoned.
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your show from the night before. i'm like, "preach, preach." so every morning-- every morning, i sit there and kind of wake in bed with you. so i watch the show. i'm a religious fan of the show. this is, like-- i don't like doing talk shows because i hate sitting down. i love talking, obviously, but i hate doing talk shows because you have to sit down. i look like jabba the hutt when i sit down. so i got like-- yeah, give me ll oh, sorry. ( laughter ) so i got two talk shows on a.m.c., both shows are designed so i never have to sit down. i'm always standing. so i never like to do talk shows because i have to sit, and it's when i look my worst and i'm at my weakest. but i love the show so much i'm like, "i'm going. i don't care how fat i look." so i'm here. ( cheers ) but, but what was really weird--
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what was really weird is i've been watching the show backstage. and so, kind of like a pavlovian response, when i see you on tv i'm like, "i gotta smoke weed." and i couldn't do it because we're here. so there's no point to that story. i was just saying. it's kind of weird. but it's so weird. and i can share thing that happened with us backstage before it happened. let me tell you what happened real quick, man. this is huge. ( applause ) this is absolutely huge for me. i was backstage, and i was laying down. i was taking a nap before i came out, and all of a sudden the door opens and stephen comes in, and he starts busting lines from-- this is where you get to talk-- he starts busting lines from "a man for all seasons," one of my favorite movies in the world. do what you did for me! do it! >> stephen: "when a man takes an oath he holds himself in his hands like so much water. and if he should home in his fingers in that moment he should lose all hope of ever finding
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i am loathe to think that your father is one of them." >> oh, my god, if you like that movie, that's, like, pornography, man. ( cheers and applause ) yes! >> stephen: and then you said-- >> wasn't that good? he's such an actor. he's saying this, and i had the same reaction. i'm getting turgid. it was a huge moment for me. ( laughter ) so-- so i turned to him and-- i busted-- he busted a line so i busted a line. i was like, "richard, it i was like, "richard, it profits a man nothing to give his soul for the whole world, but for wales." and we did it like that. >> stephen: well, you brought your phone out here. what's the deal? you brought your phone out here? >> i want to share a text with you i wrote with my kid. >> stephen: your film is called? >> oh, yeah, "yoga hosers." this movie i have coming out
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also in theaters august 30. >> stephen: it's a comedy action? >> kind of. >> stephen: there's action in it. >> i like to describe it as this. two girls fight monsters come up out of the earth. i like to say it's like "clueless" meets "gremlins." and people have seen the movie and they say hey, man, "gremlins" is good. so, okay, it's like "clueless" meets critters. and some people are like critters is good. soay "clueless" meets "puppet masters nine." and they were like, that's fair. >> stephen: your daughter is in this. >> yes. >> stephen: and we have a clip here of your daughter and her friend getting in trouble. jim? >> try clicking like on this girls. no phones for the rest of the day! >> what! >> you can get them back at 2:45, after the last bell. >> our phones are who we are. if you take away my phone like some sort of pygmalion monaco,
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>> i think i'm going to pass out. >> you have a new phone plan now, girls. unlimited minutes. unlimited looks to the world around you. and no roaming charges. so go roam without your phones. >> here i go. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: now is that your daughter on the right or on the left? >> the one that passed out. >> stephen: the one that passed out. is it hard to direct your daughter? did they listen? >> the set is the only place away with being, "you have to do this or you're fired." i can't do that in real life. so it's easier to kind of get things done. but i'm honestly not very dictatorial. i don't direct, like-- most critics will tell you that's true. i don't-- i don't direct like most people do. like here's the feeling. it's nuanced. i'm a monitor director. so we shoot something and i say, "come over here and see haw did," and i show them the playback.


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