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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  July 28, 2016 12:37am-1:38am PDT

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- amy sedaris, from "star trek beyond," john cho, music from bleached, featuring the 8g band with matt cameron. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good. that is good to hear. let's get to the news. hillary clinton last night officially became the democratic nominee for president, and i think it shows how far we've come as a nation, that a woman
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can be tied in the polls with a spray tanned mentally ill business failure. [ laughter ] [ applause ] donald trump this morning called russia's alleged hacking of democratic e-mail servers an act of total disrespect toward our country. and then he winked so hard the back of his wig unsnapped. [ laughter ] donald trump this afternoon called on russia to hack into hillary clinton's e- mail account to find the 30,000 messages she deleted from her time as secretary of state. donald, i think you misunderstood something. your party wants you to appeal to the red states, not the red state. [ laughter ] bill clinton -- [ cheers and applause ] bill clinton, last night, at the democratic convention, opened his speech with the line, "in the spring of 1971, i met a girl." and the whole audience immediately thought, "oh, god, i hope he's talking about hillary." [ laughter and applause ] please.
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please. now is not the time. [ laughter ] bill clinton gave a speech last night about his relationship with hillary clinton, and told the audience that it took him three tries before hillary agreed to marry him. so two less tries than it took hillary to get on the subway. [ laughter ] she's just not great at getting on the subway, that's all. following michelle obama's address at the democratic convention on monday, donald trump told interviewers that he liked her speech. said trump, "it's gonna sound even better in a slovenian accent." [ laughter ] [ as trump ] "we're saving it. [ applause ] there are parts of it that we're gonna save." during a recent trip to paris for her world tour, beyonce reportedly stayed in a hotel suite that cost $19,000 a night. and that didn't even include the pull out cot for jay z. [ laughter ]
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a number of athletes are complaining there are no pokémon go characters to catch in the olympic village at rio's summer games, which is surprising because that place is just crawling with zikachus. [ laughter and applause ] yeah. you maybe don't gotta catch them? though, frankly, if you're in the olympic village and you're upset there aren't any pokémon to catch, something tells me you're not bringing home the gold. [ laughter ] officials at the rio olympics are saying that sewage seeping into the sailing and swimming venues has gotten so bad that it has spawned drug resisted super bacteria, which is really unfair to all the regular bacteria who have worked so hard to get there. [ laughter ] an indiana rapper recently shot himself in the mouth while filming a music video, and then claimed on facebook that he swallowed the bullet. this story seems a little
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far-fetched. an indiana rapper? [ laughter ] since when? and finally, former congressman anthony weiner has started threatening to enter the new york's mayoral race if donald trump, jr. decides to run. "good," said every comedian in the world. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we've got a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] she is one of our favorites. she's one of the voices on netflix's "bojack horseman," amy sedaris joins us back on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he is in the new film "star trek beyond," my very old friend, the wonderful john cho is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] and we have music for you tonight from a great los angeles punk band, bleached. they're fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] you're gonna enjoy that. tomorrow night, very excited. we did it last thursday for the republican convention. we're doing it tomorrow for the democratic convention. we're gonna do a live show
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tomorrow after everything wraps up with that. our guests are going to be colin jost and michael che, "weekend update" anchors, and they have both been in cleveland and philadelphia covering those conventions, so i'm looking forward to talking to them. so anyways, we're gonna be on after "the tonight show," but we are going to be live and we are looking forward to it, so please tune in. now, moving on, hillary clinton, as we mentioned, was officially nominated to be the democratic candidate for president yesterday, as protests from bernie sanders diehards continued outside. and donald trump still managed to find his way into the news by saying some wildly dangerous things about russia. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: as bernie himself helped nominate hillary inside the convention hall, outside protests by some of his supporters continued, with hundreds marching in protest at the dnc as they've done all week. including one protest in which bernie supporters carried a 51-foot joint through the streets of philadelphia. [ light laughter ] incidentally, if you're a bernie
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supporter, that's the size joint you'd need to smoke to think voting for trump over hillary is a good idea. [ cheers and applause ] also -- [ applause ] also everyone knows if you have that much weed you don't roll a joint, you make brownies. [ laughter ] but bernie, who has repeatedly reiterated his support for hillary, has tried to tamp down the protests from his supporters. >> bernie sanders himself has sent e-mails and text messages to supporters to try to calm them down. >> bernie sanders sent a text message directly to his own supporters. >> "i ask you as a personal courtesy to me to not engage in any kind of protest on the floor. it's of utmost importance you explain this to your delegation. signed, bernie." >> seth: that's how badly bernie wants party unity. he's texting. [ light laughter ] and that's not easy to do on a rotary phone. [ laughter ] so you know, you know it's serious. remember, this is a man who keeps all of his speeches on paper, and even then he has some trouble, as was the case on monday when he dropped his papers into the seats below him and had to ask the people in
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front of him for help. [ laughter ] he looks like an over worked public defender from an old episode "law and order." [ as bernie ] "don't say another word, jamal! and shame on you detectives for speaking to my client without counsel present!" [ light laughter ] now, donald trump, of course, has tried to capitalize on the apparent division within the democratic party, tweeting, "sad to watch, bernie sanders abandon his revolution. we welcome all voters who want to fix our rigged system and bring back our jobs." first of all, donald trump thinking he'll get bernie supporters is like "wwe raw" thinking they'll get a bunch of new viewers now that "downton abbey" is off the air. [ light laughter ] they're different shows, dude. also, the same night he tweeted that, trump mocked a bernie supporter interrupting one of his rallies. >> that's okay, don't worry about it. that's the bernie people. that's the dying remnant of a bernie person. that's the last of them. that's the last. no, we're gonna get bernie people coming here. we're gonna get bernie people coming here. yeah, you can get him out.
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go ahead. that's okay. [ as trump ] >> seth: "we're gonna win bernie supporters. now forcibly remove that bernie supporter from my rally. [ light laughter ] that's the last of them. there's none left. and they're voting for me." [ laughter ] at the democratic convention monday belonged to the newer faces of the democratic party, from cory booker to elizabeth warren, whereas last night was the greatest hits album with a track from 2004 you may all remember called howard dean. dean harkened back to the so-called "dean scream" that basically ended his own presidential campaign. >> this race is going to be won on the ground. and it's going to be won in colorado, and in iowa, and north carolina, and michigan, and florida, and pennsylvania, and then we're going to the white house! [ cheers ] [ laughter ] >> seth: that was fantastic. but you know what, he didn't give us the actual scream. you remember, this one. [ dean scream ] [ laughter ]
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that is not that long ago. do you remember when acting crazy on tv was a liability? instead of, you know, a platform. [ laughter ] every time howard dean watches trump speak, he must think, "i yelled one time. [ laughter ] i yelled one time and everybody thought i was crazy?" [ laughter ] although maybe howard dean didn't give us the scream last night because he was just saving it for meryl streep. [ streep scream ] [ laughter ] >> seth: ooh! look for meryl starring in "the howard dean story." [ laughter and applause ] there is no part she cannot play. of course the biggest speaker of the night was bill clinton, who sought to humanize hillary. and for anyone who thought bill would give a short speech, don't worry, he mentioned all the years. >> 1971. 1972.
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1974. 1975. 1979. [ cheers ] 1980. 1982. 1983. 1995. 1997. 1999. [ cheers ] 2003. 2008. 2016. [ cheers ] [ laughter ] >> seth: you know, it is really nice and sweet that bill and hillary have known each other so long, but as it dragged on, you saw the benefits of a speech from recent spouse. "donald and i are still getting to know one another, so i'm going to keep this relatively brief." but the big moment came at the end when hillary clinton followed a performance by alicia keys and appeared on the giant screen via satellite. although, while the music continued to play as she talked, panic swept through the hall, as many thought she might be attempting to bust some rhymes. ♪ >> hello, philadelphia. [ laughter ] ♪ i am so happy. it's been a great day and night. what an incredible honor that you have given me. >> seth: no one wants to hear hillary clinton rap. if she rapped, she would make
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everyone's mom look like kendrick lamar. [ laughter ] because you 100% know she would start, "my name is hillary, and i'm here to say." [ laughter ] so, of course, the biggest question hanging over the dnc has been "what has donald trump been doing while the democrats hold their convention?" well, he's been keeping it low key. just relaxing, catching up on some sleep, and of course, asking russia to hack hillary's private e-mail server. >> russia, if you're listening, i hope you're able to find the 30,000 e-mails that are missing. i think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press. >> seth: not sure why trump would openly ask russia to spy on americans, but i'm sure he has his treasons. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] now, there's even been some speculation that trump might actively be colluding with russia, but the only thing that makes me think he isn't a secret russian spy is how obvious he is about it. he's like a guy interviewing for
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a job at a bank who says, "you have a lot of money, and i want to steal it. and it would just be easier if i worked here." [ laughter ] seriously, just when you think this election can't get any crazier, trump goes onstage and tells russia to illegally hack into his opponent's e-mail server. you know what bernie supporters, i think you guys were right all along. bring that thing over here. there you go. [ laughter ] this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with more "late night," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody, and please give it up to the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also back with us tonight on drums, he's a member of two iconic bands, soundgarden and pearl jam, matt cameron, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, seth. >> seth: be sure to check out matt and his seattle-based supergroup, temple of the dog, who will rerelease their much-loved self-titled album in september, followed by a first ever tour which kicks off november 4th in philadelphia. thank you so much for being here, matt. it's such a pleasure. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, seth. appreciate it. >> seth: you know, being a host at "late night" is a demanding job, also father of a newborn now, and i haven't had a lot of time recently to spend with a good friend of mine, seth meyers. and even though i'm a positive person, i like to continue to work on myself, so one of the writers suggest that i say
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positive affirmations in front of the mirror. now, what are affirmations, you might ask? they are positive things you say to yourself to provide emotional support and encouragement. my writers were kind enough to offer to write some for me. some of them are right over there. [ light laughter ] now, we've done this before, and i'm confident that this time, they will write affirmations that will make me feel really great about myself, as opposed to ones that make me feel really bad. [ laughter ] i have never seen these before. the first time i read these will be right here in front of you tonight. again, this is the first time i will read these positive affirmations that my writers have for me right here, right now. [ laughter ] ♪ i am bold. i am confident. every night i look into the camera and reach millions of
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people, and at least four of them are actually awake. [ laughter ] i grow more comfortable in my skin as i get older. maybe because i use all those lady creams on my face. [ laughter ] ♪ i am a mountain, tall, strong, and very boring. [ laughter ] ♪ at home, i am "dad." at work, i am "boss." and at a brunch, i am "beverly." [ laughter ] ♪ i may not be the funniest person on tv, or the most handsome, or the most famous -- [ laughter ] it said, "flip over card."
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i am love. i am light. i waited so long to have a child, his first word will be "grandpa." [ laughter ] i'm a young 42. you don't need money. you don't need fame. don't need no credit card to ride this train. [ laughter ] it's strong, and it's sudden, and it's cruel sometimes, but it might just save your life. that's the power of love. okay marty, now it's time to go back to the future. [ laughter ] stupid. [ laughter ] that was stupid. opportunity is around every corner. at least that's what fred armisen told me before he walked out of the studio three months ago. [ laughter ] ♪ i'm confident that no matter how hard my jokes bomb, at the end of the day, i get to go home to my baby son, and then kick his
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ass at basketball. [ laughter ] i value criticism. i read everything written about me, and i want to tell all the internet commentators out there that you are right, i do look like ellen degeneres' older sister. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ i never give up. like when i can't find my penis in the shower. [ laughter ] i know it's time for "a closer look." [ laughter ] ♪ that was the last one. [ laughter and applause ] we'll be right back with amy sedaris. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ your car insurance policy
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our first guest tonight is an exceptionally talented performer and best- selling author who you know from the classic show, "strangers with candy." she stars in netflix animated series, "bojack horseman," which is back for its third season. let's take a look. >> where are you taking me? what am i wearing? >> to a meeting. and your clothes. >> is this a fedora? what am i, jason mizzizaraz? >> i don't know what you're saying. >> you know who i'm talking about. >> bojack, i knew you wouldn't take this meeting if i didn't trick you into it. cuddly whiskers has a great script and wants to meet you. >> yeah, well, i have a script for you. it's called, "the bojack says 'no' chronicles." fade in, princess carolyn's car. princess carolyn, "hey, bojack! you wanna do this dumb ass thing?" act break. act two. bojack turns to princess carolyn. bojack, "no thank you." end of episode. >> seth: please welcome back to the show, amy sedaris. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> seth: welcome back. >> hi. look, i have a hump. >> seth: yeah, look at that. >> i have a hump where the mic pack is. >> seth: that's lovely. >> i'm all hunchback. >> seth: that's where your mic pack is. that's great. >> and it's great you have a spring scale in your bathroom. >> seth: we have a spring scale in the bathroom? >> yeah, in the lady's room. >> seth: oh, really? i didn't realize that. >> yeah. >> seth: because i wouldn't know. >> oh, yeah. there you go. you have a spring scale. now, what is that doing here? you weigh yourself before and after the show? >> seth: i do like to weigh myself because i burn a lot of calories doing this. >> oh, i bet you do. >> seth: yeah. >> yes, you do. >> seth: so, i'm excited you're back because the last time you were here, you had just purchased a rabbit. >> tina. tina bunny. >> seth: tina the rabbit. >> the one with the deformed paw. >> seth: now, is this your first rabbit, or you had others? >> this is my third rabbit. >> seth: third rabbit. and the others are still around or it's just tina? >> the other two were murdered. >> seth: okay. >> no. yes. no, they weren't murdered. [ laughter ] no, they weren't murdered. one lived to be 12 years old. the other one's seven. >> seth: okay. i love rabbits. >> seth: okay, great. so you have -- >> so i breed for a year. >> seth: uh-huh. >> and then, yeah, the first time i did your show, i just bought our home, and i was freaking out. >> seth: yeah. >> i almost felt bad because the
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first time i was on the show, and i was a nervous wreck. >> seth: you were freaking out. and now, it turns out though, you were maybe a little right to freak out because tina has destroyed your home? >> she's seven pounds, and she has destroyed my home. >> seth: okay, so, first of all, let's, like, just establish what tina looks like. there she is. >> that's tina. >> seth: she's seven pounds? [ audience aws ] >> she's seven pounds. >> reporter: that's a very heavy rabbit, right? >> it's heavy. and i swear to god. she has knocked me down in my own hallway. [ laughter ] she has knocked me -- i'm not joking, knocked me down. >> seth: where does she knock you? >> i had friends there. >> seth: does she hit you with a leg? >> she just comes galloping -- [ laughter ] she just comes at you. and she gets up underneath your feet and you fall back. >> seth: oh, my goodness. now, is she loose all the time? >> she's loose all the time. >> seth: really? >> i have a little area, but she must just think that's for me. [ laughter ] but, yeah. i think she's free range. >> seth: okay, she's a free range. >> yeah. >> seth: and you were nice enough to send some photos. >> oh, yeah. >> seth: she just ate a chair? >> that chair cost me $5,000. >> seth: okay, well, first of all that's too much for a chair. [ laughter ] >> i agree. >> seth: yeah. >> $5,000. >> seth: okay. and what if she ate through -- >> those are my pillow cases next to my head. that's what i -- the pillow cases. >> seth: so, thank goodness your head wasn't next to it while she was doing that.
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>> god, i know. i hear her digging. i wake up to digging. >> seth: and she's just chewing through things? >> she's chewing through. she's chewing everthing. >> seth: and so -- does that mean, because you were here a while ago that this is not a thing she's going to out grow or? >> well, the rabbit people keep telling me it means she's gonna be a big kisser. [ laughter ] i'm like, "no." >> seth: that doesn't sound like -- >> i don't know. >> seth: i don't even know if that's a positive. >> yeah, exactly. i don't know if it's a positive either. i don't know. right now, she's, they call it, "blowing your coat off" when they're shedding. >> seth: okay. >> there's so much fur i'm saving it to make a jesus beard in december. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's wonderful. >> always thinking, seth. >> seth: way to make lemonade. so, this is -- because you also -- tina's not the only thick destroying things in your house, you have a moth problem. >> i have a bit of a moth problem. >> seth: okay. >> tiny moths, and i lifted under my mattress, and i saw these sacks underneath my bed where they have the babies that hatch. i know. i live alone. [ laughter ] and all of these moths. but i've been staying on top of it. i've been vacuuming. and i feel like i've been nipping it. and i hand -- last night, i was watching the democratic
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convention thing, and a moth, like, a killer moth, like a large one flew right by my mouth. and i was like, "oh, my god. what is going on?" but do you have the picture of the taxidermy? >> seth: yeah. well, so, first of all, you had a taxidermied chipmunk in your house. >> yes, waffles. i named him, waffles. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. >> a taxidermied chipmunk, a taxidermied squirrel named, winks. and a little bird name kensington. >> seth: oaky. >> and the moths ate all three of them. >> seth: okay. [ audience aws ] now, i will say because a taxidermy chipmunk without any moths is already a little scary. [ laughter ] but, what the moths did to this -- this is the most terrifying thing. [ laughter ] >> they're terrible. but here's the sad thing -- >> seth: there's the sad thing? >> this is the sad thing. i had my taxidermy displayed where i could enjoy it. and i swear, i looked at it every single day. and then i went to bed, and i woke up, and then it was in that condition. it's almost like they planned -- >> seth: they did it in one night? >> they did it in one night. >> seth: oh, my god. >> and i looked up, and i had a friend who borrowed some money, and he owed me a favor. so that was his first project to animal removal to get rid of that thing. >> seth: i feel like -- it feels
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like the moths might work for the mob and are, like, trying to get you out of the house. >> may -- well, there is a thing you can buy, it comes in a can. my brother david, who lives in london, always is asking me to smuggle this over when i visit him. >> seth: uh-huh. >> because it's illegal in london 'cause it can cause cancer in moths. [ laughter ] and i don't want my house to -- i don't wanna smell like a mothball. >> seth: gotcha. oh, so, you won't do the can because -- >> i'm not, i mean, you know, i'm too young to smell like mothball. [ laughter ] i don't know what i'm gonna do. i don't know what i'm gonna do. >> seth: okay. but i really thought i nipped it. and then i saw that big -- that big one. >> seth: you'd have a perfect solution if you could just train tina to eat moths instead of chairs. >> no. i check her, too. they're not eating tina. >> seth: they want no interest in tina. >> yeah. but they like fur and feathers. i do have a duck named, randy. and they haven't gone near the duck. and i think 'cause it's older taxidermy. >> seth: oh, gotcha. >> i don't have a lot of taxidermy, well, i don't have any now. [ laughter ] i have a duck. >> seth: you have a duck. >> and that's it. yeah. >> seth: it's the summer. you are -- >> they say life is endless.
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i mean, my god, life is endless. it's endless. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's endless? >> yeah. >> seth: that's your take on summer? >> yeah, they always say, "life is too short." i'm like, "are you kidding me? it's endless." [ laughter ] i haven't done anything this summer. >> seth: you haven't done anything? >> you can hire me for anything. >> seth: you're available? >> i'm available. >> seth: are you going to north carolina? you're from north carolina, yeah? >> yes, that's where i'm originally from. >> seth: and, so, are you gonna go back there, to north carolina? >> i'm gonna go in august. there's a tanning competition my family has every year. >> seth: okay. >> and we have -- >> seth: the whole parents and kids, everybody? >> yeah, everybody who's alive goes. [ laughter ] and we have -- it's called, "the miss -- contest." >> seth: okay. >> and so whoever gets the darkest tan gets the sash. >> seth: okay. >> yeah. >> seth: and there's an actual physical sash? >> yeah, there's sash every year that has the date on it. and then, let's say you were running, you would have to get in your bathing suit and turnaround and bend over and do this position so we can see all the nicks and crannies where your tan. >> seth: gotcha. >> you know? and then you talk about tanning and why you think you should wear the sash. >> seth: okay. and is it just about how dark you are? >> yeah. >> seth: or is it about coverage? like if you put on lotion bad and you got a spot that's red. does that matter?
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>> no, no. you just have to be the darkest. >> seth: the darkest. have you ever won? >> no. and one year i even went to greece before it. and i still didn't win. my sister, gretchen, wins every year. >> seth: okay. she gets the darkest. >> seth: okay. >> she tans the best. >> seth: all right. there you go. >> but it's fun. >> seth: that does sound like -- >> i mean, i'm not going to win this year. i could have won last year. >> seth: really? what happened? what went wrong? >> i didn't go to the beach. i didn't end up going in august. it's so hot in august. >> seth: that's true. i also heard that you are looking -- a beach is a good place to for you to go. you're looking for sand? >> oh, yeah. well, this doctor told me if you fill a bag with sand, 10 pounds of sand, you lay it on your stomach, then it just kind of relaxes all of your muscles. >> seth: okay. >> you know. so i thought, "i'm going to do that." but i've been looking -- my summer is ridiculous. i've been looking everywhere to buy sand, and i have been everywhere. i even went to an aquarium shop, and they have, like, sand for, like -- what do you call those crabs? hermit crabs. >> seth: uh-huh. >> and things like that or, like, and reptiles or boas. but the way it's described on the bag, it seems like it's going to change, like, if you get the sand out, it's going to get heated or something, i don't know. >> seth: okay. >> it's so confusing. >> seth: you don't want lizard sand. >> i don't want lizard sand. >> seth: yeah. >> i went to the flower
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district, couldn't find it. the hardware will only sell 50 pounds of sand. >> seth: okay. >> so then i went on ebay, thinking i could buy sand, but then i'm like, if i get beach sand is it gonna be full of crab eggs or something? >> seth: uh-huh. >> you know, like dirty. [ laughter ] where am i going to get sand? >> seth: why don't you buy the 50 pound bag of sand and just take out 10 pounds and put it in a different bag? >> i live in this tiny apartment. i'm not going to bring 50 pounds of sand in my apartment. [ laughter ] >> seth: you brought if a seven pound rabbit. >> oh, that's different. [ laughter ] i could, i thought i could stick a knife in the bag, and then, you know, if just cheated and went and stuck it in there and put a, you know, a little hefty bag underneath there. and you know, like -- >> seth: yeah. >> and stole it. >> seth: wait, you thought about stealing the sand? >> yeah, i did. [ laughter ] >> seth: don't take this the wrong way, i bet they'd catch you. >> you think so? >> seth: yeah. >> i think i can be pretty crafty. >> seth: really? >> i think so. >> seth: you have a god son? >> yes. and you have a child who is three months? >> seth: four months. >> oh, four months. >> seth: yeah. four months. yeah. >> okay, wow. >> seth: yeah, he's old now. >> he's tiny! >> seth: but he's a real little guy, yeah. >> wow. congratulations. >> seth: he's basically a ten pound bag of sand. i'll bring him over and lie him on your belly. [ laughter ] >> and his name is ashe? >> seth: ashe. yeah.
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>> what's his middle name? >> seth: olsen. >> oh, okay. >> seth: yeah. >> i was gonna say, lee. ashe lee or something. >> seth: no, but it's close because it's ashe olsen, which is pretty close to ashley olsen, so it might as well have been ashe lee. [ light laughter ] >> wow. >> seth: your god son, how old is your god son? >> he's going to be five october 2nd. he thinks i'm three. >> seth: okay. >> we're obsessed with each other. >> seth: gotcha. >> but i seem to do inappropriate -- i teach him -- i'm in charge of his spiritual growth. >> seth: okay. >> but i keep messing up and doing, like, i gave him break away china, you know, where you can throw plates in my apartment, or retractable knives where you get to pretend stab . [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> i know, it's really bad. and then recently, i was in a doctor's office and i tore the cover of a magazine and rolled it up and stuck it in a fan so it would make that sound. and then, he told me i shouldn't be ripping up a magazine. and i said, "you're right, but it's an old magazine. who cares?" and then i said, "i'm sorry. that's wrong of me." [ laughter ] >> seth: so you're leading him astray. >> i have. >> seth: but then i guess in the same way, you're teaching him moral lessons by being the example of what not to do. >> that's right. >> seth: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> i like you, seth. that's right. [ laughter ] but i had a pirate map for him.
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>> seth: you made a pirate map? >> well, i had a friend, my brother's boyfriend is a painter and he did a treasure map for me. and we just dressed a box and put a skull on it. so he just went on a big treasure hunt and that was fun. >> seth: in the city? did you do it in the city? >> he did it upstate. >> seth: oh, that's great. >> they bury the treasure. that's a good thing do with your son when he's older. >> seth: yeah, absolutely. >> yeah. >> seth: and then, what was in the treasure box? was it the weird chipmunk? [ laughter ] >> no, it wasn't the weird chipmunk. it was really fun. i went around and i collected things from different people. and it really brought the kid out in a lot of people. >> seth: that's great. >> you know what i mean? everyone was like, "this is what you should put in there. and you should" -- you know, like, older men would be like, "you gotta go get those dollar gold coins at the bank that no one likes." >> seth: right. >> but, you know, i went there and put some old todd oldham jewelry in there and one earring and some shark's teeth. >> seth: that's fantastic. >> yeah, it's really good. good project. >> seth: well, i take it back. i think you're a really good god mother. i take it back. >> yeah. >> seth: and thank you so much for being here. >> oh, is it over? >> seth: it's over. >> oh, my god. it flew by. >> seth: it flew by. amy sedaris, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you! >> seth: the third season of the wonderful show, "bojack horseman" streaming on netflix. we'll be right back with john cho. >> thank you so much! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you know my next guest as harold from the popular "harold and kumar" franchise. he is currently starring in "star trek beyond," which is in theaters and imax 3d everywhere now. let's take a look. ♪ >> the lithium chamber's at 70% and falling. primary starboard engines standing by. >> mr. sulu, you can, you know, fly this thing, right? >> you kidding me, sir? ♪
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>> seth: please welcome to the show, my friend, john cho. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: how are you, friend? >> good, how are you, sir? >> seth: it's so good to see you. >> so good to see you. >> seth: we -- people won't know this because it was not a popular film, but we met in 2004, we were in a movie together. >> called, "see this movie." >> seth: "see this movie." which it turns out -- >> and you did not. >> seth: you did not. [ laughter ] >> you disobey. >> seth: such a confident title for a movie that then everyone said, "no." >> no. [ laughter ] >> seth: nah. but we shot in montreal. >> yes. >> seth: and it was three weeks but we've been friends ever since. >> yes. >> seth: yeah. >> i remember -- i remember you liked to say "for the record." >> seth: i do say for the record a lot. >> yeah, a lot. >> seth: yeah. >> and i started to imagine you were the leather-bound volume,
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recording things for the record. >> seth: yeah. >> for the counsel. [ laughter ] >> seth: at the end of every day, i have giant volumes of when i said for the record. yeah. >> like "see this library." >> seth: yeah, exactly. >> and -- >> seth: and -- >> yeah. >> seth: go ahead. >> no. >> seth: well, i remember that you were -- [ laughter ] you were more street famous in montreal than i was. yes. i was in a movie called "american pie." and people -- [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. oh sure, you saw that. people were shouting "milf" at me all the time. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> it was montreal so maybe they said "la milf." >> seth: yeah. >> but they -- french joke. [ light laughter ] identifies joke. and at some point, you turned around and good naturedly said, "saturday night live," 11:30, nbc. >> seth: yeah. it was heartbreaking to me. >> no. >> seth: not a single "snl," everybody. also, everybody yelled "milf" at you. and then of course, it took me a while to figure it out. i would, of course, in the beginning, look around. >> oh, right, right. [ light laughter ] >> seth: thinking that there would maybe be one of those on the street. >> right, right. >> seth: but it was just i was just walking around with you. >> no. yeah.
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>> seth: and now, i feel like one of the films you are most known for outside of "star trek" films, "harold and kumar." >> yes. >> seth: and because of that film i've heard you say that you are the david copperfield of weed. >> yes. >> seth: please explain. please explain this nickname you have given yourself. >> i can make it appear pretty rapidly if i were to walk up down the aisle, if i just said, "yo, where my weed appear at?" it would appear magically. >> seth: really? >> and i have done that. >> seth: so people will just -- it'll find its way to you because they are so -- because that movie was so celebratory about marijuana that people just wanna -- >> yes. and, so like, people pass it to me at concerts and i can conjure it. it feels like people are tithing. >> seth: okay. oh, i see. >> to their weed saint. >> seth: i see. so they -- [ laughter ] basically if you see harold and or kumar, you have to give them 10% of your weed for that year. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: and do you have to ask for it? or will it just sometimes -- >> either/or. yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> sometimes -- last time i was in new york my uber driver tipped me with a big bag of weed.
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>> seth: really? >> yes. as i was leaving he felt the need. >> seth: that's a funny thing that a driver who is going to get a number of stars from you. >> yes. >> seth: would let you know, "hey, i probably smoked weed before i picked you up." >> yeah. [ laughter ] he got five stars, i was gonna say. >> seth: he got five stars. yeah. that's all right. that's all right. so "star trek," this seems -- congratulations. great reviews. >> oh, thank you. >> seth: great opening weekend. it seems like a cast that gets along very well. >> yeah. >> seth: as evidence by the fact, it seems like you spend a lot of time making dubsmash videos. >> yes. dubsmash is a lip syncing app. >> seth: yes. >> an application for your phone. [ light laughter ] and zoe saldana started the virus, she was patient zero. and then we got all got infected and started doing it like crazy. i think we must have had -- we texted each other these dubsmashes and there were easily 100. >> seth: 100. and do you -- are you someone with your dubsmashes, do you choose to lip sync music songs? like are there different -- >> yeah, like, zach is -- >> seth: zach quinto. >> zach quinto is the best at
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lip syncing speech and he will, like, download acceptance speeches from the emmys and stuff like that. >> seth: uh-huh. >> and will -- >> seth: so he'll lip sync someone else's acceptance speech? >> someone else's crying acceptance speech. >> seth: will he ever do this in costume? >> all the time. yes. >> seth: okay. >> it was all in costume with the ears and the hair. >> seth: so a lot of spock accepting. >> yes. >> seth: wow. >> spock accepting grammys. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, now i understand. now it's starting to make sense. >> and i was good at the song selection. >> seth: okay. >> that was my forte. >> seth: all right, great. >> but it is a shameful practice because if you came into the actor's tent, it would be a bunch of actors doing this. [ laughter ] that's what it looks like. it's terrible. >> seth: not -- no one going over their lines, just fully lip syncing. >> no. it's awful. >> seth: i wanted to talk to you about a wonderful thing that happened online, which was called -- so i guess explain the john cho meme real quick.
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>> okay. this is -- >> seth: starring john cho. >> starring john cho. >> seth: and i guess someone did this to draw attention to the lack of roles for asian americans in film. >> yes. >> seth: and you met the person who started this? >> yes, i dm'ed him. >> seth: yeah. >> and i said -- >> seth: because this is the sort of thing they would do. is a photoshop, very nicely photoshop. >> yeah. >> seth: you in the movie posters. this is "james bond." >> yes. >> seth: you as james bond. and so you reached out. >> so i reached out and i said i have to meet you because this man affected my life. and so we met and he's -- his name is william yu. he lives here in new york city. and he's a young guy who just thought that people should be talking about this issue and did it in this really clever way. >> seth: yeah. and there you are in "the martian." that's -- [ laughter ] i think you'd be fantastic in "the martian." >> yeah. >> seth: here you go, a little romance with emilia clarke in "me before you." these are excellent photoshops. [ light laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: do you have a favorite? i think we have your favorite here. >> yeah. my favorite is the photoshop of me on jake gyllenhaal's body for "southpaw." >> seth: yeah, because that is --
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[ laughter ] who wouldn't want that? >> yeah. >> seth: who wouldn't want to like not do any of the work and just get gyllenhaal's the body? >> exactly. it's so much easier. >> seth: yeah. but is it nice? i mean, it is certainly an important message. >> it's great. yeah. and it got people to talk about an issue that i think is -- people are reluctant to talk about race and this was a fun way to do it. >> seth: yeah. >> and a visual way, rather than, you know, doing this. although, it did make me a little sad because i thought i was doing well, but i'm not in any of those movies. >> seth: that's true. [ laughter ] but let me tell you, every one of these actors, you think daniel craig's uber drivers ever given him weed? >> no. >> seth: no. you are doing just fine, my friend. [ laughter and applause ] thanks so much for being here, buddy. >> yeah, man. thank you. >> seth: always so great to see you. john cho. "star trek beyond" is in theaters and imax 3d now. we'll be right back with music from bleach. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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with car insurance, for when things go wrong. but also here with car loans, to help life go right. state farm. what a day!! canredd's apple ale!ome beers? ♪ [ "stay" by lisa loeb ]
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redd's apple ale. also for a limited time in blueberry. [ song continues ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: tonight's musical guest heading out on a fall tour in support of their critically acclaimed album, "welcome the worms." performing "wednesday night melody," please welcome to the show, bleached. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ find yourself some time leave the past behind future is a lonely ride so tell yourself you gotta ♪ ♪ try choices i've made well i think now you better rearrange ♪ ♪ give yourself some peace of mind cuz the sun will shine and the shadows don't mind ♪ ♪ ♪ come on boy dry your eyes it's good to feel just a little alive drag a needle on the ♪ ♪ groove today and waste away yeah waste away ♪ ♪ come on boy dry your eyes it's good to feel just a little alive drag a needle on the ♪ ♪ groove today and waste away just waste away ♪ ♪
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♪ you've been at it for days and i hope you will find your way ♪ ♪ creatures of mistakes rewind the time make it okay but you can't do that no we can't do that ♪ ♪ but you can't do that no we can't do that ♪ ♪ come on boy dry your eyes it's good to feel just a little alive drag a needle on the ♪ ♪ groove today and waste away yeah waste away ♪ ♪ come on boy dry your eyes it's good to feel just a little alive drag a needle on the ♪ ♪ groove today and waste away just waste away ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ oh hello old friend it's time again you come around ♪ ♪ oh hello old friend it's time again you come around ♪ ♪ soak in the rays from the grave the shadows don't mind on this wednesday night melody ♪ ♪ come on boy dry your eyes it's good to feel just a little alive drag a needle on the ♪ ♪ groove today and waste away yeah waste away ♪ ♪ come on boy dry your eyes it's good to feel just a little alive drag a needle on the ♪ ♪ groove today and waste away just waste away ♪ ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: bleached, everyone! the album, "welcome the worms" is out now. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: the "late night" music experience is sponsored by redd's apple ale. a crisper take that's anything but ordinary. redd's apple ale, pick different. and for even more music check out
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks, amy sedaris, john cho, bleached, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] special thanks to redd's apple ale, who sponsored tonight's music, matt cameron, and of course, the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ >> carson: what's up, folks? i'm carson daly, this is "last call" from 97.1 amp radio tonight.


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