tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC October 19, 2019 12:37am-1:37am PDT
♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- anna kendrick. star of nbc's "sunnyside," actor kal penn from "the righteous gemstones," actress edi patterson. featuring the 8g band with fred armisen ♪ [ cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news following house speaker nancy pelosi's announcement of impeachment proceedings against president trump, trump tweeted this morning that there is, quote, "no president in the
history of our country who has been treated so badly as i have." [ laughter ] even more amazing, he tweeted it from the abraham lincoln room in the john f. kennedy library. [ laughter ] president trump -- [ cheers and applause president trump today released a transcript of the controversial phone call between him and the president of ukraine, which seemed to include some incriminating information and man, that is not good. [ laughter ] it's like when someone has a face tattoo that says, "hail satan. [ laughter ] if that's what you're showing people, what are you hiding? [ laughter and applause according to the call -- according to the call transcript released this morning, president trump told the president of ukraine, quote, "the united states has been very, very good to ukraine i wouldn't say that it's reciprocal necessarily because things are happening that are not good, but the united states has been very, very good to ukraine. good lord, trump is the worst criminal
he's like -- [ laughter ] he's like a character from "the sopranos" who everyone knows is only gonna last one episode. [ laughter ] "oh, donny two-lips? i wouldn't get too attached. [ laughter ] rudy giuliani appeared on fox news last night to respond - [ laughter ] to the launch of impeachment proceedings against president trump and got into a heated argument with a fellow panelist before shouting at him, quote, "shut up, moron. [ laughter ] wow. i mean, strong words from someone who literally married his second cousin. [ laughter ] [ audience oohs yeah that's how awful he is we all forgot he married a family member. [ laughter ] anyone else on earth you'd be like, "oh, yeah. there's goes the guy who exchanged wedding vows with a relative." but with rudy, you're like, "oh, yeah [ laughter and applause yeah, he did, didn't he? i mean, i -- so busy focusing on all the other insane stuff about him, but you're right he had a cousin that he found attractive and then had sex
with, and then - [ audience oohs he stood in front of a room full of people to celebrate that fact, and then ushers were like, "are you a guest of the bride or the groom? and everyone was like, "um, i'm guess both you know, they're -- [ laughter ] you see, they're cousins." anyway, that's the president's, like top guy [ laughter ] the u.n. has released a new report claiming that climate change --rudy giuliani married his cousin [ laughter ] and we all just like moved on. [ cheers and applause we were all like, "great now what do you have to say about the law? i mean, how are we not talking about this everyday? [ laughter ] what kind of dirt on biden were you even looking for "well, we uncovered some light incest." "oh, so he's clean then? [ laughter ] the white house accidently e-mailed their talking points to the democrats. even weirder, the gmail auto-replies [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause president trump met with the president of ukraine today at the u.n. and look at that guy's face
[ laughter ] i mean, he looks like jim from "the office. [ laughter ] that's the face you make when someone says, "you know who's kind of cute my cousin. [ laughter ] today was "star wars" actor mark hamill's 68th birthday, but it was a bittersweet one as he had to put his father in a home. [ audience oohs [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause the joke requires us all to accept that darth vader is the actor mark hamill's father [ laughter ] that's how -- that's how my writing staff thinks [ laughter ] and then it's too hard 'cause then you don't want to have to explain it to him. [ laughter ] "what? a movie? [ laughter ] and finally, according to a new study, the perfect time to drink coffee is at 7:35 in the
morning, while the worst time to drink coffee is right before you do an interview on fox news. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we got a great show for you tonight [ cheers and applause her new film "the day shall come" is in theaters and available on demand this weekend. anna kendrick is back with us, you guys [ cheers and applause he is the star of "sunnyside" premiering this thursday on nbc. kal penn joins us tonight. [ cheers and applause and you can see her in hbo's hilarious new series "the righteous gemstones. edi patterson is here. so it's a great night. [ cheers and applause before we get to any of that, the white house released a damning memo from president trump's call with the leader of ukraine, after the house open a formal impeachment inquiry for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: after democrats announced yesterday they would move forward with impeachment, the white house announced that they would release notes of trump's phone call with ukraine's president, in which
trump pressured him to interfere in the 2020 election by digging up dirt on joe biden and his son. and suddenly, everyone started speculating that maybe -- maybe the transcript wouldn't be as bad as we were expecting >> i just don't understand why you do it today -- >> when you might have a - >> when the transcript theoretically -- i'm not saying - >> yeah. >> could be somewhat exculpatory -- >> right >> of trump. >> if the transcript is exculpatory -- that's sort of legalese for helpful to the president -- >> well, my first thought is that president trump would not release this transcript if it were not exculpatory >> seth: yes, he would donald trump is literally incapable of doing anything exculpatory. [ laughter ] first of all, he would have to know what the word "exculpatory" means. [ laughter ] "of course i know what exculpatory means. it means you used to be culpatory. [ laughter ] and he certainly couldn't pronounce it i mean, yesterday he couldn't even read the word "tire" off a teleprompter >> americans will never fire -
[ laughter ] or tire in our effort. >> seth: oh, my god. he couldn't read a one syllable word and i love the irony of saying, "americans will never tire," while you're standing there looking like you just drank a bottle of nyquil during a gas leak [ laughter and applause "americans will never tire or -- or fire. also i love that thing he does where, instead of correcting himself, he acts like both words were right [ laughter ] like he's reading a dr. seuss book "americans will never fire or tire - [ laughter ] or get stuck in the mire, but they'll definitely hire a liar, who perspires. [ laughter ] so at first, some people thought the notes from the phone call would somehow clear trump of wrongdoing and then there was the question of whether the supposed transcript will even be complete because as we all know white house transcripts have been edited before. i mean, remember, this is the guy who literally doctored a hurricane map by drawing a circle in sharpie to include alabama.
[ laughter ] there was a good chance the supposed transcript would come out and the first line would be the president of ukraine saying, "thanks for being so innocent, sir. [ laughter ] then there's the fact that actual transcripts of trump's words are often incomplete because even the world's best stenographers have no idea what he's saying. like the time the associated press put out a transcript of an interview with trump, and there were sentences where even the reporters could not understand what he what saying. these are sentences from the actual transcript. "here's part of your story it's gonna be a big [ unintelligible ]." [ laughter ] "i'll tell you, the other thing is [ unintelligible ]. we've been working on it [ unintelligible ]." [ laughter ] "secretary mnunchin is very talented person. very smart, very successful. [ unintelligible ]." [ laughter ] "let me leave a little room, just in case, [ unintelligible ]." [ laughter ] oh, my god unintelligible should be his secret service code name [ laughter ] "unintelligible is on the move he said he was going to mcdurnald's, but we think he means mcdonald's." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause and then of course, trump himself was going around
insisting repeatedly that he did not pressure the president of ukraine to investigate a political rival in exchange for hundreds of millions of dollars in military aid. >> it was a totally appropriate conversation it was actually a beautiful conversation there was no quid pro quo. there was nothing. it was a perfect conversation. the conversation, by the way, was absolutely perfect it was a beautiful, warm, nice conversation the conversation i had with the president of ukraine was absolutely perfect the conversation i had with the president of ukraine was absolutely a ten it was perfect >> seth: a ten [ laughter ] why you talking about a phone call like you're creeping on women at the beach [ laughter ] "that call is a ten. wait until you hear the jugs on that call. [ laughter ] so there you go. the media speculated that the call would exculpatory, impeachment calls would premature and trump said it would prove he was innocent.
they all said there's no way trump would be dumb enough to release a transcript in which he commits a bunch of crimes like asking for a personal political favor in exchange of hundreds of millions of dollars in military aid. and then this morning, trump released notes from the call, in which it turns out he was dumb enough to commit a bunch of crimes like asking for a personal political favor in exchange of hundreds of millions of dollars in military aid >> here's what the president said quote, "there's a lot of talk about biden's son that biden stopped the prosecution. and a lot of people want to find out about that so, whatever you can do with the attorney general would be great. biden went around bragging that he stopped the prosecution so if you can look into it, it sounds horrible to me. >> the first investigation that the president brings up with the president of ukraine -- this is immediately following the ukrainian president's mention of military aid and how he wants to continue with military aid from the united states, which we know, at this point, a large portion of which had been suspended. here's what the president says in response to that conversation
"i would like to ask you to do us a favor though, because our country has been through a lot, and ukraine knows a lot about it." >> seth: in an official call with the president of another country, he literally brought up joe biden, rudy giuliani and said the words "i would like you to do us a favor." it doesn't get more obvious than that [ light laughter ] it actually would have been better for trump if the whole transcript had just said "unintelligible. [ laughter ] and when trump asked for the favor it wasn't just an innocent request. as this call was happening, trump was holding up hundreds of millions of dollars in military aid to ukraine that ukraine desperately wanted from the u.s. in fact, trump specifically brought up the biden stuff right after the ukrainian president brought up that military aid in the memo, the ukrainian president said, "i would also like to thank you for your great support in the area of defense." and then the very next sentence out of trump's mouth was "i would like you to do us a favor, though." that is an obvious quid pro quo. the only way it's not a quid pro quo is that when it comes to committing crimes, trump is definitely not a pro, he's an idiot. [ laughter ] it's -- it's more like a quid idiot quo.
[ laughter ] he literally said, "i'd like you to do us a favor." he might as well have been having this meeting at his daughter's wedding while petting a cat. [ laughter ] or if not a cat, one of his other pets [ laughter and applause let's remember -- let's remember, rudy giuliani was a private citizen, the president's personal lawyer, who was on a fishing expedition to concoct a fake scandal and get ukraine to manufacture dirt on a political opponent joe biden the fact that his name came up on this call even once is insane, but look how many times trump mentioned rudy "mr. giuliani's a highly respected man. he was the mayor of new york city. a great mayor, and i would like him to call you. i will ask him to call you along with the attorney general. rudy very much knows what's happening. and he's a very capable guy. but he's not he does not know what's happening. [ light laughter ] and he is definitely not a capable guy. for one thing, anytime he does an interview, he looks like a guy in a haunted house after a zombie just popped out of the bushes [ laughter ] in fact, rudy has spent the last
few days spinning out live on national television. first, he tried out some prop comedy by showing everyone his phone in a fox interview, and then showing up to another fox interview reading a book [ laughter ] why -- why's he doing prop comedy now [ laughter ] "here's a phone. here's a book. and here's one of my puppetshe'" [ laughter ] also i can assure you, rudy is not a highly respected man in fact, just to give you an idea of how little he's respected on capitol hill, "politico" reported today that -- and this is real -- "at the house democratic meeting this morning, rudy giuliani was the butt of a joke congressman hakeem jeffries showed a seth meyers sizzle reel of giuliani's recent cable appearances. the room erupted in laughter." [ laughter ] that's right as house democrats - [ cheers and applause as they were meeting to discuss impeaching the president of the united states, they were watching a sizzle reel of our rudy giuliani jokes. [ laughter ] we -- does that mean i could get called as an official witness? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause in the impeachment oh, my god
[ cheers and applause i -- i mean, i already have my testimony prepared "yes, mr. chairman while i do not have any insights into mr. giuliani's conversations with ukraine, i can confirm that he does, in fact, look like he accidently stuck his [ bleep ] in an electrical socket. [ laughter and applause yes, you heard me right. [ laughter ] so you got the president dangling a quid pro quo, asking for a political favor, and repeatedly prodding a foreign leader to speak with his personal lawyer and manufacture a baseless smear of a political opponent just what we can see in this memo alone is impeachable behavior, let alone what's in the full whistleblower complaint. i mean, can you imagine how bad that full whistleblower report is what else could it possibly say? "after the call, mr. trump then stood up, tripped on his tie, fell headfirst into a garbage can, got up, ran into a wall, knocked himself unconscious,
woke up and screamed, 'where am i. and who [ bleep ] my pants?' [ laughter and applause today -- today, trump actually met with the president of ukraine on the sidelines of the united nations and claimed he hadn't pressured him while also insisting all he cared about was corruption >> you know what there was no pressure. >> mr. president - >> and you know there was -- and by the way, you know there was no pressure. all you have to do is see it, what went on, on the call. >> would you like president zelensky to do more on joe biden and the investigation? >> no, i want him to do whatever he can, but whatever he can do in terms of corruption because the corruption's massive. >> seth: oh, you want him to do something with corruption? okay, well, he's sitting right next to you. did he bring his handcuffs [ light laughter ] 'cause when it comes to stopping corruptions one thing's for sure, the president of ukraine will never - >> fire or tire. [ laughter ] >> seth: now one big question looming over the impeachment debate has always been the political impact how would it effect trump's chances of getting re-elected?
would it cut into his chances, or would it solidify his base? some democrats have been scared that impeachment would somehow be good for him, or play into his hands. we have to drop this idea that trump is playing three-dimensional chess. he's more like a guy who ate a chess piece, is now choking on it, and instead of gesturing for the heimlich maneuver, eats another chess piece to dislodge the first one. [ laughter ] in fact, trump himself has made this argument that he wants to be impeached because it would somehow be good for him politically. in fact, he repeated that claim again yesterday. >> the country's doing the best it's ever done and i just heard that she'd like to impeach our country's doing the best it's ever done they're gonna lose the election. and they figure this is a -- a thing to do. this never happened where we're in the election, and i mean, if she does that, they all say that's a positive for me, from the election you could also say, "who needs it?" it's bad for the country >> seth: of course, his first priority is, "it's good for me." and then he throws in as an afterthought, also it's bad for the country. [ light laughter ] he's like an athlete who bet against his own team
"yes, the patriots scored a touchdown! i mean, damn let's go -- jets." [ laughter ] the reality is that if we finally have a real formal impeachment process with hearings and votes, we'll all get to see actual evidence of trump's serial corruption and lawbreaking live on national television every single day. and that's a huge deal now just before we taped this show, trump held another of his signature off the rails press conferences where he once again lost his mind on national television first he started out by claiming the whistleblower who reported on his conversation with the president of ukraine didn't have what he called first class information. although, it was hard to follow what he was saying >> the so-called whistleblower, the one that didn't have any first class, or first rate, or second tier information from what i understand. you'll have to figure that out for yourself [ laughter ] >> seth: firsthand [ laughter ] he didn't have any firsthand information. [ cheers and applause "first rate, first class
didn't have any first base - [ laughter ] information. the common phrase, first base information. [ laughter ] i mean, why does he make us try to figure out what the hell he's trying to say? "you'll have figure what i'm -- i'll say words, then you guys put them into sentences. [ laughter ] then trump complained that because everyone was talking about ukraine and impeachment. no one was covering how hard he was working during his meetings with foreign leaders >> the sad thing about this hoax is that we work so hard with all of these countries, and i mean really hard. this has been -- i've been up from early in the morning 'til late in the evening, and meeting with different countries all for the good our country and the press doesn't even cover all of this. >> seth: early in the mornings and late -- so you mean a work day? [ laughter and applause you had a work -- "we start in the morning. and then -- and then we stop for lunch. it's called a lunch break. first i've heard of it
then we have meetings again at night. i'm working like eight, nine hours a day. [ laughter ] trump wants us all to be impressed by how hard the job is but we knew it was hard. you're like the only one who was like, "presidents work mornings?" [ laughter ] what we saw in today's memo alone is impeachable behavior, and trump and his lawyer keep going on tv and then confessing to more crimes when it comes to corruption and lawlessness, what we saw today was -- >> absolutely a ten. it was perfect [ laughter ] >> seth: this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause we'll be right back with anna kendrick, everyone. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: for more of seth's "closer looks," be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. ♪ with ai we can protect what we can't see. snow leopards are almost impossible to find, but we need to know where they are, because they are threatened. our camera traps allow us to have and eye in the mountains,
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: welcome back, everybody. give it up for the 8g bahtnd rig over there [ cheers and applause also we've been so delighted this week to have our friend fred armisen back with us. thank you so much for being here, fred >> fred: thank you [ cheers and applause >> seth: our first guest tonight is an oscar, grammy, and tony-nominated actress you know from "up in the air" and the "pitch perfect" franchise. she stars in "the day shall come," which is in theaters and available on demand friday let's take a look. >> he's not even clear to hear how he's [ bleep ] this up >> i might have to ask him to reprimand you. we don't have this at my p.d >> i'm going to have to ask him to reprimand you
>> he can't reprimand me i'm a diffent ency, sweet ks >> sweet -- you wouldn't last one second here. the only thing smaller than your badge is your [ bleep ]. it's probably inverted like a belly button [ laughter ] >> seth: pleaslcome back to the show, our friend, anna kendrick, everyone. [ cheers and applause >> seth: very, very fun clip >> very -- >> seth: thank you [ cheers and applause >> hi, guys. i miss you too [ cheers and applause i've had enough of this. >> seth: they're so happy to see you. >> i don't know if you can tell by my dress. but i hate attention >> seth: you do hate attention this is -- >> yeah. >> seth: guys, she's very coy. >> guys, i'm very shy. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> seth: i want to talk about the movie. >> yes >> seth: but i also -- you got to travel a little this summer >> yeah. >> seth: you went to amsterdam which was -- >> yeah, you have a history with amsterdam. >> seth: i lived there for a couple years one the most beautiful cities in the world. >> it's the most beautiful -- the most beautiful scenery the most beautiful prostitutes
>> seth: yes >> i wasn't even on drugs. [ laughter ] >> seth: uh-huh. >> i didn't do drugs i was working. and also drugs are bad [ light laughter ] and i was just blown away by how pretty it was. and i did go to the red light district just to kind of to see and -- >> seth: yeah. >> whatever. and, you know, very beautiful ladies [ light laughter ] and there were -- there were, like, two petite ladies. and i was like, "you guys are doing it." [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> "do it for the sisters. love it. >> seth: very -- very hard to find a petite woman in general in amsterdam very tall people >> yeah. >> seth: the dutch >> no, that's why i didn't stay. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] you know, i just though it was so gorgeous. >> seth: you liked the canals? >> i went on the canals. i, like -- i ended up -- i ended up, like, you know, just for fun, like, videoing the whole, like, canals and the scenery and stuff. and i as i am wont to. it's just sort of, like, sarcastically going like, "ugh, god, it's ugly here. like, "how do you -- people even wake up in the morning and look at this scenery? and most people understood that that was me saying it was very beautiful. and there were couple of dutch people who thought i was being very rude. >> seth: yeah. >> and i should go back to my country.
but then a fair amount of dutch people came to my defense. so -- but it was all happening in dutch so now i know the dutch word for sarcastic. which is sarcastisch >> seth: yeah, yeah. >> so not that hard. [ laughter ] >> seth: not that hard >> they were going like, "she's being sarcastic. and several said, you know, "she's just drunk. so, i also know -- >> seth: gotcha. >> dronken is the dutch word for drunk. >> seth: oh, dronken, yeah >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: yes, i've been dronken a few times -- >> yeah. >> seth: in amsterdam. [ light laughter ] you also -- did you go anywhere else in europe >> i did i went to switzerland, which is the cute - >> seth: it's really amazing >> the cutest country. >> seth: yeah. >> like, i feel -- like, i'm patronizing. but i'm sorry. it's so cute >> seth: yeah. it makes amsterdam look like a garbage can. >> exactly [ laughter ] like, every hillside was, like, the most perfectly designed, like, the cutest, most amazing -- and i took a friend of mine. and she, you know, was very grateful to be taken to switzerland. but as we would crest every hill, what am i an animal? i'm not going to sing "sound of music? >> seth: of course, yeah [ laughter ] >> i mean -- so it was, like,
really watching the test of our friendship, like, play out on her face knowing, like, "she bought me this trip to switzerland. be nice. but then how many times i can sing "high on a hill was a lonely goatherd" - >> seth: yeah. >> before she murders me on this hilltop -- [ laughter ] and leaves the body. >> seth: it required patience on her part >> yes, god bless her. >> seth: this film is -- it's a little tricky to describe. but we were saying back stage, the director, the writer is -- >> yeah. he's like a british comedy legend >> seth: yeah, chris morris. >> yeah, chris morris. yeah, it's -- it is hard to describe it's like a dark satire about the criminal justice system. and it really devolves into a farce. like, a full shakespearean comedy of errors where everybody is misunderstanding everybody. and it's a really serious subject matter because it's about the way that law enforcement kind of uses entrapment and kind of disproportionately targets minorities but it's so funny, which is not because we take it lightly but because chris morris is so good at using satire to kind of talk about these subjects.
so a lot of the details in our movie are trying to be as absurd as, like, hundreds of these true cases. >> seth: because you're basically an fbi agent who's trying to set somebody up so you can get the credit for taking them down. >> exactly like, i'm -- you know, everybody's motivated by ego and i think that some people - >> seth: yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah, yeah >> spend their life thinking law enforcement has our best interest at heart >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> you know? and it's really interesting to - >> seth: i thought you were saying we were motivated by ego which i was also down with [ laughter ] i was also going to be on board with you there yeah, yeah >> yeah. both true things >> seth: i know you shot that in the dominican republic >> yeah. >> seth: and now you're shooting in new york, yes >> mm-hm >> seth: what's it like shooting in new york? >> new york has been great i can't believe -- i feel very grown up shooting stuff in new york but i will say when you shoot in a small town, people are like, "oh, i just can't go to work today or get into my home because they're filming a movie. like, "yeah, whatever you need."
and in new york they're like, "i've lived here 30 years, get the [ bleep ] off my street. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> i'm going to do what i -- no. and we were shooting on st. mark's place at midnight on a friday and nobody was going to be quiet for us and, you know, there's just guys walking through the shots. and at one point a guy was walking through the shot and vomited. [ laughter ] and -- and when something like that happens you realize that there's no department for that on a film set. [ light laughter ] there's no one whose job it is to clean up the vomit. and it was right next to the director's monitor - [ laughter ] where he's going, like, "and cut. [ laughter ] "some notes? but -- so they didn't have a solution so they just set up little orange cones around the vomit. [ laughter ] thinking about it, and i was like, "it was little orange cones" which to me, suggests that this happens enough - >> seth: yeah. >> that they have special orange cones for vomit situations - >> seth: yeah. >> in new york >> seth: they have, like, ones for traffic. and then they have little ones - >> they're, like, just for vomit.
[ light laughter ] >> seth: it's always so wonderful to see you here. >> thank you for having me >> seth: congrats on your movie. anna kendrick. [ cheers and applause "the day shall come" is in theaters and available on demand friday we'll be right back with kal penn [ cheers and applause ♪ i'm your cat. ever since you brought me home, that day. i've been plotting to destroy you. sizing you up... calculating your every move. you think this is love? this is a billion years of tiger dna just ready to pounce. and if you have the wrong home insurance coverage, you could be coughing up the cash for this. so get allstate and be better protected from mayhem, like me-ow. ♪ so get allstate and be better protected from mayhem,
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[ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: our next guest is a talented actor you know from the "harold & kumar" movies as well as shows like "house" and "designated survivor." his new show "sunnyside" premieres thursday at 9:30 pm on nbc. let's take a look. >> check this out. i am getting paid. i can hire a p.r. team can you imagine how good it's gonna look for my reelection campaign if it gets out that i've been helping these poor people out of the goodness of my heart? >> except you're very clearly not helping them out of the goodness of your heart you're doing it for your reelection campaign. >> that's a really good point. i should talk to my p.r. team about that >> seth: please welcome back to the show, kal penn, everybody.
[cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: welcome back. >> wow thank you. i always love coming here. >> seth: it was nice -- it's nice having you in new york. you took advantage being in new york you threw out the first pitch last night - >> i did >> seth: at the mets game. >> i did i'm very athletic. >> seth: yes, everybody knows that >> yes, exactly. uh, no i was always picked last in gym class. so when this sort of, email came through i was like -- immediately, "yes. >> seth: yep >> as a child. like, the eight-year-old me was like, "absolutely want to do this." followed by terror because i know what it's like being picked last in gym class. i was, like "there's thousands -- tens of thousands of people there. >> seth: how much time did you have between getting asked and doing the actual pitch >> three weeks >> seth: okay. >> and i hired a pitching coach. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> because i'm -- i'm that kind of nerd. >> seth: yeah. >> and it was a really nice guy named zach in l.a. who showed me how to throw a baseball. >> seth: i would imagine one of the problems could be over throwing - >> yes >> seth: over the course of the three weeks.
you wanna -- you don't want to end up with, like, a sore arm >> no, no, and there's plenty of celebrity videos of people who have thrown badly. >> seth: yeah. >> which is, like the nightmare. >> seth: and lot of them in new york >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. yeah, no, i know and the coach says to me in the third training session we had, he's, like "you know what? your body is not going to perform the way a pitcher needs to perform." [ laughter ] it's like, "sweet. i'm glad you're telling me this in my third session. he goes, "why don't you just perform as though you're confident? >> seth: oh. >> it's, like "oh, thanks. now, it's acting lesson time." >> seth: so he said, "you can't be a pitcher." >> right >> seth" "but you can be an actor playing a pitcher. >> yes [ laughter ] yes. >> seth: we're going to show it. before we show it, how do you feel you did >> so, i did an insta story where i sort of bragged about throwing strikes >> seth: yeah. >> in reality it's a little high and outside. >> seth: okay. >> but it went across the plate. he didn't have to chase it and it didn't hit the ground >> seth: all right let's take a look real quick and let's see if you would call this a strike and -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] you had a very -- i like that whoever was catching for you did
that very nice thing >> yeah. >> seth: he didn't panic he just very calmly stood up >> yeah. >> seth: it was like, "i was getting up anyway. >> no, exactly [ laughter ] exactly. and i was, like -- and in my head, you know, i'm like, "the actor can talk a mean game," but clearly the pitch was what it was, guys. >> seth: so, "sunnyside. this is a show that you've had an idea for for a long time. >> yeah. >> seth: you created it with matt murray, who's a wonderful writer who used to be my officemate at "snl." >> yes, i know yeah >> seth: and you play, from the clip, a disgraced councilman - >> yep >> seth: who is now helping immigrants pass their citizenship test >> yeah, yeah. five years ago i was on a show that got abruptly canceled, and kind of thought, well, "what's your dream project?" and i love making people laugh i love the patriotic comedies that we grew up with stuff, like, uh -- i know it doesn't sound patriotic, but, like "fresh prince" and "seinfield." basically stuff that makes you feel good. >> seth: yeah. >> at the end of the night, you know you feel like you hang -- hung out with a group of your friends. so we thought, "all right, a teacher is kind of a cool idea maybe it's like, maybe teaching, like, a chocolate making class it went through all these different iterations >> seth: right >> until we sat down with matt and mike schur and thought "a
citizenship class is kind of cool." one that takes place in new york city, because there's a lot to choose from and you know, the sort of hijinx each episode is a nice runner. >> seth: it's also, you know, a very diverse cast. >> yeah. >> seth: as, sort of the plot would necessitate. and everybody has very interesting backgrounds, which is a really cool part of it. you recently got to do -- and i did this season as well -- henry louis gates. >> oh, the "finding your roots." >> seth: "finding your roots." >> okay. i did do "finding your roots" recently >> seth: yeah. >> and i said yes to it because they hire these fancy genealogists and then do a dna test and i've always thought it was cool that when you watch those commercials someone's like, "i found out that i was, like, a half scottish. >> seth: yeah. >> and, like, i've always been super jealous of people with, like their coat of arms tattoos. >> seth: sure. >> i've always wanted a tattoo so i'm like all right. i'm going to do this show. i'm going to give them my dna. and i'm going to get a tattoo. >> seth: really? [ laughter ] >> yes >> seth: so it was basically whatever they find out >> whatever they find out. there will be something because it's permanent and it's real. >> seth: yeah. >> and i know it's based on dna and history. so i did it and we're going through the book, and they go, "turn the page now for your dna
mapping. and i turn the page and it says, "you are 99.99% south asian. [ laughter ] and i was, like, "oh, my gosh. and he goes, "how do you feel, kal? and i'm like, "i feel disappointed." [ laughter ] it just came out of my mouth so, he turns the page again and he goes, "this is called a haplogroup." and it was this number "r1a" that in fact i got the tattoo. so, i'll show you. >> seth: okay. [ cheers ] >> -- wow wow, i - [ light laughter ] see? throw out a first pitch. [ laughter ] "r1a-m147. >> seth: so that's your haplogroup group >> that's my haplogroup group. there's a map. it goes from africa, like through the caucases, into india and south asia and i then asked for more dna. they wouldn't give in to me. they're like, "no, that's our intellectual property. i was, like "no, guys. r1a-m147 i want to know what else is there. [ laughter ] so then i was like "i can just buy a kit myself." >> seth: sure. >> it was 300 bucks. i waited for the holidays when it was on sale for $99 >> seth: yep [ laughter ] >> and then bought it. did the same thing i'm on the computer. i'm like, "all right, haplogroup i click on it.
"r1a-m417. and i was like, "wait a second the tattoo i got is r1a-m147 why is the computer telling me that my haplogroup is m417?" and i realize there has been a phenomenal error [ laughter ] this is not my haplogroup. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> seth: and did you get confirmation >> i got confirmation. i e-mailed them. i e-mailed them and i said -- i said, "what's the deal, guys?" they emailed back. >> seth: you emailed pbs bascially? >> i e-mailed the producers. and two days later, like 18 executives e-mail me and say, "we're so sorry. a p.a. swapped two of the digits - [ audience ohs ] when they were putting the screen up. but by the way, don't worry. we'll correct it in post-production. and i sent them a picture of this tattoo, and i was like -- [ laughter ] "you going to correct this too, guys?" come on. >> seth: you going to cgi out my tattoo >> yeah. yeah they said they'd pay for fixing it >> seth: yeah. >> but i figured this was a better story to tell on a late night show one day >> seth: absolutely. [ laughter ] i -- thank you very much to henry louis gates for the story. >> yeah.
thanks, man. thank you. [cheers and applause >> seth: kal penn everybody. "sunnyside." thursday at 9:30 pm on nbc we'll be right back with edi patterson. [ cheers and applause ♪ yeah, that's half the fun of a new house. seeing what people left behind in the attic. well, saving on homeowners insurance with geico's help was pretty fun too. ahhhh, it's a tiny dancer. they left a ton of stuff up here. welp, enjoy your house. nope. no thank you. geico could help you save on homeowners and renters insurance. you see clear skin.
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[ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: our next guest is a very funny actress and comedian you know from shows such as "vice principals" and "partners. she's currently staring in "the righteous gemstones," which airs sunday nights on hbo let's take a look. >> she's a gemstone. seems strange to me. she's not front and center, like everybody else >> i don't know.
maybe that's just me talking, now. >> no, that's not just you talking. [ laughter ] i've been wondering about it been hearing a lot of other people wondering about it. tons of people talking about it. [ laughter ] >> seth: please welcome to the show, edi patterson everyone [ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: welcome to the show >> thanks. >> seth: i am so happy to see you again. we first we met in this building you guest wrote for "snl" in 2013. >> i sure did. yeah >> seth: my last year there. >> yeah. >> seth: was that an enjoyable experience for you >> it was. it was -- it was incredible. it was really great. and i got something on both weeks. >> seth: which is amazing. that is very hard to do. >> there was a thing i didn't realize though, that happened. was there's -- there's that day where everyone goes into the sh: our monday pitch t. meeting. yeah >> monday pitch meeting. and what i didn't know was, kind of everyone says something to make them laugh. >> seth: yes >> and it's not necessarily, like a real idea you've thought out, like a nerd, which i did. >> seth: it's full -- it's full
bull[ bleep ], yeah. >> yeah. so everyone went around and they're, like being cool and making kevin hart laugh. and it's dawning on me, like "oh, no! [ laughter ] oh, no." and so it gets to me and i didn't have, like a funny thing to say so, i just, like full urkel, like went, "well, my pitch is this. [ laughter ] and, like did a whole long thing. it went too long the room's silent. [ laughter ] and i'm just, like "it's -- you're -- you're in the world of the 'walking dead.'" [ laughter ] and, like it just goes on, and on, and on, and everyone's sort of starring at me. and then i walked out and i was, like, "oh, great kacked it on your first thing. [ light laughter ] and the later, like midnight, or one or two whatever office i was in, you, like, lightly knocked. and i was, like "oh, hey yeah, hey, seth. [ laughter ] and you were like "did you write that 'walking dead' thing? and remember, i -- i probably went dead in my eyes and i went, "i'm about to. [ laughter ] so, then i frantically wrote it all night and that was one of the things that got on >> seth: there you go. >> yeah. >> seth: and the only reason i could do that is not a single
other writer on that staff had a real idea. so, the only person whose office i could go to and check on was yours. [ light laughter ] and, so you grew up in texas, yes? >> yes >> seth: and, uh, your parents are not -- sure, there's some texas here >> yeah, man >> seth: your parents were not in the business. >> nope. >> seth: but you kind of got - >> mom's a teacher >> seth: a teacher, and your dad is >> plumber >> seth: and yet, you got into improv at a young age and -- >> yeah. i mean, we didn't have, like improv at my school. but i -- i just would improvise. and i would pretend to be -- like, weirdly in first grade in texas, i had an english -- like an older english teacher like, a christian scientist english woman. [ laughter ] which, i think is an anomaly in texas. [ laughter ] and i would come home and do her for my parents and they would laugh and i thought, "oh, that's something. [ laughter ] so, i started improvising, like people we knew for them. my versions. >> seth: so, you're just doing -- like, you were find ways to, like, talk in the characters in your life. were there other people -- >> yeah. >> seth: that were -- would kill with your parents? >> yeah. so, my, uh, my grandpa was sick. and we had to have these
caretakers come in and we -- so we would go there every other night. and we'd go there with my mom and dad from, like after school until, like ten at night and so we would hang out with these women who had been there all day. hang out with my grandpa and they weren't the best. let me just say that they were all so weird and this not a dig on caretakers, like - >> seth: no. >> there are some of the best in world. >> seth: of course, yeah >> just, we didn't get 'em [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> and they were borderline scary. like, i'm -- i don't really want to say names but they're probably dead or in jail >> seth: okay. >> all of them [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> but, so, there was this one who always -- she always had a pink terrycloth shirt. giant boobs, like thunderous boobs. [ laughter ] and, like a hole here and it would tie here, like in a bow. and she's not a woman who would have a bow >> seth: yeah. >> do you know what i mean [ laughter ] and, like a bowl haircut and talked like elvis. [ laughter ]
and she would, like -- she just was fascinating and repulsive to us and we just -- [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> we wanted to be around her. but we didn't want her to touch us [ laughter ] and she -- so anytime it started to rain, she would go, "oh, honey. she started every sentence like elvis. i'm not kidding. >> seth: yeah. >> "oh, honey. i gotta go out and get my bath." [ laughter ] and she would -- and she would run out into the rain and, like get where it was coming off the roof the most -- [ laughter ] and, like shower with all her clothes on - [ laughter ] and, like shampoo, and, like she'd come in with, like with shampoo on her terrycloth shirt. [ laughter ] just horrifying. she'd put ice cream in her mouth and go, "come here bridget." [ laughter ] and bridget is her tiny dog. [ laughter ] and bridget would, like, come out of nowhere, like a rat, but black and white, you know? >> seth: yeah, yeah. >> and would hop up on her and eat ice cream out of her mouth [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] so, we always were just, like "aghh! [ laughter ] >> seth: all of that is really
off putting. and then on top of it, it's like, "well, we will leave you to care for our grandfather. >> yeah, seriously [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> seriously, but it was, like the best we could get. and then when someone was there and got fired, the next one would be more terrifying [ laughter ] >> seth: this does makes sense that this would be the roots of your comedy. "righteous gemstones," which is so funny >> thanks. >> seth: these are some very well observed characters everybody on the show is doing such incredible work >> oh, man thanks >> seth: do we -- were you familiar at all with this world of mega churches growing up? >> i didn't grow up in a mega church, but we grew up real churchy. >> seth: yeah. >> like, we went to church every sunday and went to sunday school and all the stuff in the week, like covered dish suppers and stuff. >> seth: and how is -- how do you parents feel about this take on religion that "righteous gemstones" is on hbo >> awesomely, they love it >> seth: that's great. >> yeah. i mean, i'm pretty sure my mom has not told people at her church to watch it >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] yeah, that's fair. >> but, yeah they love it. they love it, love it. >> seth: i love it too it's fantastic show.
it's so great to have you back here, edi. >> thanks for having me. [ cheers and applause >> seth: such a pleasure to have you on the show. so great to have you at 30 rock again. >> thank you >> seth: edi patterson "righteous gemstones" airs on hbo sundays at 10:00 pm. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ♪
[ cheers and applause >> seth: my thanks to anna kendrick, kal penn, edi patterson. fred armisen, and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for "a little late with lilly singh." we'll see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause ♪ >> lilly: tonight on "a little late with lilly singh," i'm throwing my guest, america ferrera, a quinceanera [ cheers and applause >> you didn't have to do this. >> lilly: oh, but i wanted to. >> i mean it's such an extravaganza >> lilly: oh, it was nothing >> the dress - >> lilly: beautiful isn't it >> the cake -- >> lilly: were