tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC November 12, 2019 12:37am-1:38am PST
♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- whoopi goldberg. star of "silicon valley," actor and comedian thomas middleditch. musical from doja cat and tyga featuring the 8g band with chris johnson. ♪ [ cheers and appuse ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. it's "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause that is -- wonderful to hear in that case, let's get to the news president trump tweeted this morning that he plans to meet with medical experts and members of the e-cigarette industry to develop safer vaping policies.
and you may think trump isn't an expert on vaping but remember, he sucks and he blows. [ laughter ] president trump attended a football game at the university of alabama over the weekend where he was immediately placed into the concussion protocol [ laughter ] that's right president trump attended a football game and received loud cheers when he was shown on the jumbotron, or to put in it sports terms, trump is now 1 and 2 on the season. [ laughter ] according to a new book, queen elizabeth's stylist uses gin to clean her jewelry while boris johnson uses to it clean his entire body. [ laughter ] according to the "washington post," bernie sanders has started joking around more on the campaign trail said sanders, "there once was a man from nantucket who could not afford health care and died. [ laughter ]
[ cheers and applause president trump this weekend tweeted a review of his son don jr.'s new book, and honestly, it is the best don jr. could hope for [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause kanye west is suggesting that he may legally change his name to christian genius billionaire kanye west, but i'm going to keep calling him mr. kardashian. [ laughter and applause "sesame street" celebrated its 50th anniversary over the weekend. unfortunately, big bird didn't make it. [ audience aws ] [ laughter ] that's why they're so delicious. [ laughter ]
that's right "sesame street" celebrated its 50th anniversary over the weekend and even at 50, oscar still got a pretty sweet can [ laughter ] authorities in wisconsin arrested a man over the weekend for allegedly driving under the influence and having a chicken on his shoulder. said the man, "you told me you were a parrot. [ laughter ] no wonder you never repeated me." [ laughter ] and finally, divers in europe have announced the discovery of a new shipwreck from 1917 that contained 900 bottles of liquor. also a shipwreck filled with liquor, your aunt carol on thanksgiving [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we've got a great show for you tonight [ cheers and applause her book "the unqualified hostess: i do it my way so you can too," is available now, and her new holiday collection dubgee holiday by whoopi 2019 is available this december. whoopi goldberg is back, everybody. [ cheers and applause
he is the star of "silicon valley," currently in its sixth and final season on hbo. the always wonderful "thomas middleditch" is back, you guys [ cheers and applause and we'll have music from doja cat and tyga so you're here on a great night before we get to any of our wonderful guests, billionaire mike bloomberg is reportedly close to joining the democratic primary as wall street panics about the current crop of candidates from more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: it's hard to keep track of all the corruption swirling around president trump but on top of the impeachment inquiry and everything else, there was also this little item last week that went largely unnoticed. a judge ordered the president of the united states to pay $2 million for misusing funds from his charity for ridiculous purchases. >> a new york judge ordering president trump to pay $2 million for misusing trump foundation charitable funds. the president had vowed never to settle the lawsuit the new york state attorney general alleged president used the charity's money to help his
2016 campaign pay business debts, even to buy a painting of himself. >> seth: that's right. trump used charity money to buy a painting of himself and this is the painting. [ laughter ] look at that it looks like they hired jackson pollock to do a courtroom sketch [ laughter ] almost as shocking as the settlement itself was the fact that trump admitted wrongdoing as part of the settlement, trump acknowledged in a court filing that he had failed to follow basic laws about how charity should be governed in a statement signed by trump's attorney, the president admitted to poor oversight of the charity. and you know it must be bad because trump never apologizes for anything if he backed into your car in the parking lot, he'd leave a note on the windshield that said, "i won't pay for repairs but here's a wallet-sized portrait of me [ laughter ] "signed donald trump i did nothing wrong. [ laughter ] now if you're a democratic primary voter, i know what you're thinking. you've been watching the rampant corruption of the trump presidency, the catastrophic failure of the trump administration and the destructive influence the wealthy have had on politics
and you're saying to yourself, "you know what can fix this? a different rich guy." [ light laughter ] because if we've learned one thing from the past decade of politics, from the financial crisis to the trump presidency is that rich people with zero exceptions know what they're doing. that's why they always do smart sane things like leaving all their money to their cats or going on a podcast and smoking weed like elon musk. [ laughter ] that's the ceo of a multibillion-dollar company and he looks like a tenth grader at a sleepover. [ laughter ] "welcome to the board meeting. first order of business. we're gonna build a rocket [ laughter ] to white castle. [ laughter ] so if you've been -- [ applause ] -- if you've been waiting for a billionaire alternative, your prayers have been answered because a billionaire is reportedly close to entering the race a billionaire so charming and charismatic, whose spanish is so perfect, no one will be able to resist him >> breaking news tonight the bombshell just dropping in the 2020 race. michael bloomberg on the brink of entering the democratic
primary battle >> a spokesperson says bloomberg worried the current crop of democratic candidates may not be able to defeat president trump >> but a recent poll also shows that if bloomberg were to enter the race, only 6% of democratic primary voters say they'd definitely vote for him. >> bloomberg was the republican mayor of new york city now he's running of a -- as a democrat how does fit in? >> well, he'd run as a moderate, and he would run on his record as mayor >> while in office he had a tendency to read statements at the ends of his press conferences in espanol [ speaking in a foreign language ] [ laughter ] [ speaking in a foreign language ] [ laughter and applause >> seth: that's right. michael bloomberg is really close to jumping into the democratic primary you know, the guy who used to be a democrat, then switched to republican to run for mayor, then switched to independent
after he became mayor, then went back to being democrat i mean, that's how my mom orders at a restaurant. "i'll have the fish. no, the chicken. you know what? just come back -- do me last do me last." [ light laughter ] in reality, the vast majority of democratic primary voters are saying in polls that they're actually satisfied with the choices they already have. in fact, there's already another billionaire in the race. tom steyer remember him the guy who looks like even he's surprised he's running for president. [ laughter ] he looks like a middle aged dad who found his kid's acid and accidentally ate it. [ laughter ] "i cannot see my hands [ laughter ] and that wolf is talking to me." [ laughter and applause and just -- just to give you an idea of how uninterested democrats are in having another billionaire president, steyer has remained mired in the low single digits in the polls despite the fact he spent $47 million in the first three months of his presidential bid $47 million. instead of running for president, he could have funded
grassroots organizing or just offered that same money to donald trump to quit [ light laughter ] you know trump would take it if trump knew someone would be willing to pay him to resign, he'd probably start airing infomercials with the hotline 1-800-1makemeanoffer [ laughter ] "call now, and you can pay me to shut up. and if the price is right, i'll throw in a second even dumber second donald trump. [ laughter and applause so there just doesn't need to be an appetite right now for another billionaire president to swoop in and save us from the current democratic candidates. people want to change the system, but it's hard to convince someone that a system is broken when that system gave them billions of dollars remember the futile campaign of starbucks founder howard schultz he couldn't even announce his candidacy without getting yelled at >> former starbucks ceo howard schultz got an ear full from a protester at a new york city book signing monday night after schultz said he is seriously considering a possible independent run for the white house. >> i am seriously considering running for president as a centrist independent, and i wanted to clarify that we're an
independent, which i view merely as a designation on the ballot >> don't help elect trump. you egotistical -- >> sit down. >> -- billionaire [ bleep [ laughter ] >> seth: that's what you get for announcing your campaign in new york city. [ laughter ] "hey, schultz, how about you take one of those cake pops and stick it up your -- let's go mets." [ laughter and applause now billionaires -- billionaires are apparently worried that the leftward tilt of the current primary and in particular, the candidacies of elizabeth warren and bernie sanders in fact, it was reported bloomberg had been coaxed by another even wealthier billionaire. vox reported that jeff bezos asked michael bloomberg months ago if he'd consider running for president. wow, he just ordered up a presidential candidate [ light laughter ] what level of amazon prime is that [ laughter ] bloomberg's interest in running in bezos's --- comes after weeks of billionaire freak-outs over the possibility that someone's
critical of big banks and wall street, like warren or bernie can get the democratic nomination in fact, last week even bill gates expressed concern about how much he personally would have to pay in taxes and joked that he might not have that much left over. >> you know, i've paid over $10 billion in taxes i've paid more than anyone in taxes. [ laughter ] but i -- you know, i'm glad to have -- you know if i've had to pay $20 billion, that's fine. [ laughter ] but, you know, when you say i should pay $100 billion, okay, then i'm starting to do a little math about what i have left over [ laughter ] sorry, i'm just kidding. >> seth: first of all, i think you got your math wrong, which makes sense because you probably used excel [ laughter ] second, we know you're kidding because you have incredible comic delivery and because you're worth over $100 billion [ laughter ] if elizabeth warren got elected president, no one thinks bill gates would be doing math on the back of a napkin at his kitchen table. "let's see, $6 billion in wealth taxes. another $10 billion in income taxes.
aww, that leaves me 90 -- that's barely enough to survive [ laughter ] i'm already cutting my own hair." [ laughter and applause and besides, even if gates -- even if gates did run out of money, we know he'd have a successful career as a dancer as we learned from a press conference announcing the launch of windows 95. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] it looks like your accountant's christmas party after someone spikes the punch [ laughter ] that's the bar mitzvah where the dads are trying to get the kids on the dancefloor. "come on, guys [ laughter ] we're doing the macarena." [ clapping ] now, obviously gates' $100 billion tax estimate was ridiculous in fact, to help him calculate how much he'd owe in taxes under her presidency, warren added a calculator for the billionaires to her website with two custom links to say, "if you're michael bloomberg, click here. and if you're bill gates, you can click here." [ laughter ] damn, she used the internet against bill gates next she's gonna get clippy to endorse her. [ laughter ] and bill gates isn't the only billionaire freaking out about
warren's candidacy last week, jp morgan chase co. jamie dimon criticized warren for vilifying rich people. >> she uses some pretty harsh words. you know, some would say vilifies successful people but i don't like vilifying anybody. you know, i think we should applaud successful people. >> seth: you have a billion dollars and you also want applause i thought the whole point of being rich was not having to care what people think of you. that's why they call it "[ bleep ] you money," "not [ bleep ] you. now give me a hug" money [ laughter ] dimon was also on "60 minutes" on sunday. dimon was asked about his salary last year, which came out to $31 million. he was also pressed on whether he took any responsibility at all for jpmorgan's role in the financial crisis, which of course is one of the major reasons voters are so angry at wall street. and he changed his answer within seconds. >> do you take any responsibility for the financial crisis in 2008? >> no. >> but your bank sold those same kind of mortgages. >> we've - >> toxic mortgages >> i do take some. [ laughter ] >> seth: he dancing around that question like bill gates in '95.
[ laughter ] people aren't just mad at billionaires out of jealousy or because candidates demonized them they're real world examples that are informing people's doubt that's the wealthy can solve everything just take mark zuckerberg. facebook recently announced that it won't fact check political ads. and when zuckerberg was grilled by alexandria ocasio-cortez about that decision recently, he had no answers >> you announced recently, that the official policy of facebook now allows politicians to pay to spread disinformation in 2020 elections and in the future so i just want to know how far i can push this. would i be able to run advertisements on facebook targeting republicans in primaries saying that they voted for the green new deal i mean, if you're not fact checking political advertisements i'm just trying to understand the bounds here. what's fair game >> congresswoman, i don't know the answer to that off the top of my head >> do you see a potential problem here with the complete lack of fact checking on political advertisements >> well, congresswoman, i think lying is bad and i think if you were run an ad that had a lie,
that would be bad. >> seth: oh, really? [ laughter ] would that be bad? so if i said you did not look like cross between data from "star trek" and a teenage roman emperor, that would be bad [ laughter ] so the billionaires are freaking out about warren and bernie, but neither of them seem especially worried about it earlier this year, when warren was asked about the reaction among billionaires to her candidacy, she had only a sarcastic response >> they're gonna throw everything at us to stop us how do you get from here to there? >> are you telling me that the billionaires are not in favor of my -- being the president of the united states? [ laughter and applause damn, you just upset every plan i had. [ laughter ] i'm in shock >> seth: sarcastic elizabeth warren is like the teacher catching you smoking out back behind the high school. "wow, smoking is so cool [ laughter ] you know what else is cool emphysema. [ laughter ] you know what the girls like yellow teeth and skin. all right, i'll see you guys back in class. [ laughter ] then there's bernie. last month, bernie went on cnbc
to make the case that wall street should pay more to reduce income inequality and at one point he referred to his quote, "friends on wall street. >> at a time of massive income and wealth inequality. it is my view, that the wealthiest people in this country, the top 1/10 of 1% should be paying substantially more than they're paying right now. you have an insane situation i let my wall street friends there tell me why it makes sense. >> you have wall street friends? >> no, i don't that was just -- [ laughter ] -- i just try to sound nice. i don't. >> seth: of course bernie doesn't have wall street friends. i'm guessing that unless you're a member of the vermont food co-op or the burlington y, you're not friends with bernie at all [ laughter ] "i go swimming at 5:00 a.m. and then i do a shift at the co-op and then i go home and i don't talk to anybody. [ laughter ] and i'm glad bernie admitted that because if there's one thing we've all learned from the billionaires, it's that -- >> lying is bad. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] we're living in an unprecedented era of massive inequality, and there's an incredible hunger
among voters for a candidate who will fight systemic change voters don't seem to want a self-appointed billionaire savior to ride in and save them. and if you think you're that savior, you might actually just be a - >> egotistical - >> sit down. >> -- billionaire [ bleep >> seth: this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause we'll be right back with whoopi goldberg, everybody [ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: for more of seth's "closer looks," be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. ♪ switch to boost mobile and get more.
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[ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: welcome back, everybody. give up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause sitting in with us this week, stright from lady gaga's vegas residency and featured on her six-time platinum, "a star is born" soundtrack he's the drummer for camila cabello, snoop, rihanna, and stevie wonder. look for his upcoming new instructional book "pop, r&b and gospel drumming. chris johnson is here everybody. [ cheers and applause >> thank you seth. >> seth: thank you for being here chris our first guest tonight is an emmy, grammy, oscar and tony-winning actress, who also serves as co-host of the host of "the view" on abc. her book, "the unqualified hostess" is available now. and her dubgee holiday by whoopi 2019 sweater collection will be available in december at zappos.com dubgee.com and at the whoopiee equals american dream pot up shop at the american dream mall.
please welcome back to the show, one of our favorites, whoopi goldberg, everybody [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> seth: how are you >> still here. [ laughter ] >> seth: i love having you here. >> i'm happy to be - >> seth: what did you bring? >> i brought you a present >> seth: what is it? can i open it now? >> yes, you can. you should >> seth: oh, it's one of your sweaters >> it's one of my sweaters >> seth: oh, my gosh whoopi, thank you so much. >> yes >> seth: you know -- you know my colors that i like [ laughter ] >> well, yes >> seth: you like -- there you go [ cheers and applause and now, do all of your designs come to you in nightmares? [ laughter ] >> among other things. >> seth: among other things.
>> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: thank you very much you're sweater collection. how many years have you done this sweater collection now? >> the last three -- >> seth: the last three years. >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: very exciting dubgee is the name of the line >> dubgee is a clothing line >> seth: yes >> and that's kind of, you know, if you don't marry well -- [ laughter ] >> seth: uh-huh. >> i married often >> seth: yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] they say that's the opposite of well, yes. >> yes, yes. >> seth: they say it goes, "marry well, marry badly, marry often. yeah >> that's right. [ laughter ] you know, so i married often and so, as it turns out, as i get older, i have to keep doing stuff. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> so, you know, keep myself where i want to be >> seth: we're all the beneficiaries of that. so, i'm glad that you keep doing things that you enjoy. >> well, i envy you. >> seth: i do want to -- you have a day job, obviously. >> yeah. >> seth: which is also - >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: you interview people. you have a lot of guests on. sometimes it gets very contentious and sometimes it's very hard it seems to get a word in edgewise. so, i want you to know, the floor is yours while you're here [ laughter ] >> here's the thing, i don't often have much to say >> seth: yeah. >> you know, because, listen, i've been there for almost ten
years and you know, everybody has what they need to do and folks -- when it's women they say, "oh, you know, they're fighting they're doing it." you know, if we were fighting, you would actually know it >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> okay, 'cause women don't -- you know, we're old broads we're, like --- [ laughter ] we're not, like "stop it you're so mean to me." >> seth: right, right, yeah. >> we don't do the -- we will slap you into next week. >> seth: right [ laughter ] >> so if we were truly fighting, there would be issues, but you know, it is living with other people who are not you >> seth: yeah. >> they think differently. they want to say different stuff and you know, i figured that's okay they're trying to do their gig, too. 'cause, after all, this is our day job. >> seth: yeah. >> where they're paying us for our opinions >> seth: yeah. >> that's what we do >> seth: it is so nice to watch the vibrant exchange of opinions >> well, sometimes it gets heated >> seth: yeah. >> you know, i've had fights with husbands, and lovers and all kinds of stuff that have gone way further out than that.
[ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> you know? >> seth: that's right. >> so -- it's not -- >> seth: so you're telling us, those of you watching at home, we should not be concerned >> i wouldn't be find something else to do. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] i think that's better -- that's good advice for all of us. >> well, i -- you know, we can't be the thing that keeps you up at night >> seth: right >> we can't be thing -- that tv show is not what you should be concerned about. >> seth: right >> okay? there is other stuff >> seth: this is a nice transition, because for something that will actually keep you up at night - >> yes >> seth: -- your current hair styles, because you're preparing to be in an adaptation of stephen king's "the stand. that's really exciting [ cheers and applause >> it is i've waited 30 almost 40 years to do that >> seth: that's great. >> and it's great, but she's supposed to have white hair and it was -- you can't have white hair the way they want it on the show so, i said, "can we make it, like she was a cigarette smoker?" and so maybe, you know -- 'caus you know, your hair doesn't go white if you smoke cigarettes. it kind of gets a little bit yellowish. so, that's what we've done >> seth: gotcha.
>> and when you see it me in the makeup i'm supposed to be 108 >> seth: really? >> yeah. >> seth: you're playing a character that's 108 years-old >> yeah, and i look 108. >> seth: there you go. you have incredible range. [ laughter ] they always say that about you >> that's what they say, but none of them know. >> seth: none of them know um, you take hosting parties very seriously and this book is very helpful >> well, here's the thing, i am really anti-social >> seth: uh-huh. >> so, it was suggested that maybe i would get to know some folks. so, invite them over to eat and then i started putting stuff on the table would make me laugh, 'cause i like silly stuff i like toys. >> seth: so, you have this -- you have guests over to a dinner party. >> yeah. >> seth: and what sort of things would you put on the dinner table? >> i'd put trolls on the table >> seth: uh-huh. [ laughter ] >> 'cause i love -- well, y'all are probably too young to remember the original trolls >> seth: uh-huh. >> they looked so amazing. they were only really this big, but they had hair. >> seth: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> and so, you remember? >> seth: there's some remember [ cheers and applause >> yeah. and so, i put them on the table, 'cause they make me smile. and what i discovered is if, i'm
smiling and having a good time, the people who come, will smile and have a good time you have a better conversation with people who might be nervous, 'cause they don't know you either >> seth: right, yeah >> so, i figured that out and then i realized that i needed to get to take the pictures off my phone and get frames for them and have them actually put into frames, because i don't look at my phone every day. but now that've i put the pictures into frames, i can actually pass my mom and my brother. >> seth: oh, that's nice >> and see them every day. 'cause we forget. you know, we don't have big photo albums anymore everything is here, but you're not on here the way you are when you leaving your house >> seth: yeah. >> or you're on your way to someplace. you know, you're trying to get to your bedroom. you think, "oh, there is my family." you know, there is the people that i love. it just doesn't have to be your family, but whoever you like, but take them off the phone and put them -- make them tangible >> seth: that's nice too when guests can come over and they can see your family as well. >> yeah.
i think it's a good thing. >> seth: it would be, like "it's not all trolls there's also loved ones. [ laughter ] >> that's right. but see, i just feel, like we as a society have allowed other people to tell us and dictate how we should be living. just, in terms of, "well, i don't look, like this person i don't look, like that person." you know, i'm looking at, you know, facebook or i'm looking at twitter and they're telling me -- you know, the bottom line is, these people don't know you. you know you better than anybody. why are you letting them dictate your life? take it back you know what to do. make a table that you like and it doesn't matter if they don't get it they don't have to it's free food >> seth: there you go. [ laughter ] there you go [ cheers and applause this is very, very exciting. and i want to confirm that it's true >> what? >> seth: you are going to be returning to the stage >> yes >> seth: in london >> yes >> seth: to do an adaptation of "sister act. >> yes [ cheers and applause >> seth: returning to the role >> yeah.
you know, we tried for a long time to get them to make "sister act 3" because people really kept saying, "hey, what are they doing? and everybody kept saying to us, "well, no one wants to see that." that's such a -- it's an old title. i said, "i'm an old broad. why would it be a bad thing? >> seth: yeah, it came out after "star wars" and there's a new "star wars" every week yeah [ laughter ] >> yeah, well, but apparently they think nuns are not as interesting. >> seth: yeah. >> but, our nuns are fun and so, when they said, "hey, we want to take it back on the stage and do something. and i'm one of the producers they said, "you want to do it? and i was, like "yeah, if could i play delores." and they were, like "would you?" [ laughter ] and i was, like "well, you'd have to explain that she's a little older." >> seth: yeah. >> you know, but it doesn't change the fact that she is who she is and they're, like "oh okay." so, they announced it and really kind of broke the internet in london which was kind of great because it allowed me to say without
saying, "don't underestimate something, 'cause you think it is too old don't ever count it out, 'cause it could be the thing that breaks the internet. >> seth: there you go. [ cheers and applause i'm very excited about that. always so lovely to see you. whoopi goldberg, everybody >> thank you thank you. >> seth: "the unqualified hostess" is available now. we'll be right back with thomas middleditch [ cheers and applause ♪ [alarm bell rings] ♪ bang bang, there goes my bang bang, ♪ ♪ i want my bang bang, i want my bang bang ♪ ♪ go bang bang ♪ there goes my bang bang, ♪ go bang bang, there goes my bazooka ♪ ♪ ♪ go bang bang, there goes my bang bang, ♪ ♪ i want my mind blown, i want my mind blown ♪
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you're my attorney >> you remember the end of "thelma and louise"? how they drove that car off the cliff? >> why that was a mint 66 t-bird. they didn't need that car to get over the cliff why'd the car have to die? >> i think it had something to do with women's rights or something. >> important stuff >> but -- sorry, what's your point? >> seth: please welcome back to the show thomas middleditch, everybody. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: congratulations six years is really amazing. >> it really is. what a treat >> seth: your show did not just an incredible job of i feel like reacting to what was happening in silicon valley but often predicting what would happen like, here's -- like, you from
the first episode. [ laughter ] >> yeah, what can you say? we have a bunch of -- like, clairvoyant pre cogs working at the show as writers. we have -- you know that scene in minority report where there is that weird entity that spits up the carved balls? >> seth: yeah. >> yeah, that's -- >> seth: you've got one of those. >> that's mike judge, yeah >> seth: yeah. oh, wow. he just lays in, like, a bath of milk >> "it's coming! >> seth: you've been here before saying that wanted "silicon valley" to end in the universe of "game of thrones. >> oh, yeah. that would have been nice. >> seth: just, like, that all tied into an hbo family. >> yeah and then i had sword and armor. and everyone is like, "he's the hero." it turns out >> seth: yeah. >> oh, okay. >> seth: but now you have a new idea >> yeah, yeah. here's my pitch. okay, and there's no time to make this happen but we end up in the "big little lies" world. >> seth: oh, wow >> and it turns out, we killed skarsgard's character. >> seth: oh, wow >> it was us we are the little guys and we did it. >> seth: oh, wow >> and everyone is like, "who did it?"
and we're like, "it was us the whole time." [ laughter ] >> seth: so all those women are innocent >> they're totally innocent. >> seth: oh, my god. they've been covering for you. >> yes time old -- a story as old as time "a tale as old as time." [ laughter ] >> seth: you -- i know you -- we met first -- >> it's "beauty and the beast. >> seth: it's "beauty and the beast. [ laughter ] which brings me to my question >> oh, really? >> seth: we met -- well, we did. we met as improvisers in chicago. >> yeah. >> seth: but did you ever -- the way you said "tale as old as time." did you -- with the theater ever path for you >> yes, seth [ laughter ] i did cut my teeth upon the boards >> seth: you did >> oh, yeah. community theater of nelson british columbia >> seth: wow >> boy, do we know each other very well. >> seth: wow >> yeah. [ cheers and applause yeah >> seth: they're happy to see you again. >> the stage yeah "when are you going to get back on stage?" >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] people must ask you all the time >> oh, yeah. it's a fun world, the theater. >> seth: yeah. >> it's a lot of "oh, oh, haven't seen you in ages." [ laughter ] it's a lot of that >> seth: oh.
>> it's like, "oh, tech week." [ laughter ] "hands on your own props, guys, seriously. seriously. [ laughter ] so you're an - >> seth: okay, if you go back to the theater you're going to fall right back into it >> oh, yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> i'm going to be stage manager. exclusively. >> seth: oh, that's -- >> yeah. >> seth: that'd be great you had another piece of work recently that's very exciting. >> i've been busy man. i've been doing a lot of good stuff. >> seth: very. not "silicon valley. not theater. you entered the world of acting in a video game. >> yeah, yeah. a lifelong dream of mine >> seth: there you go. [ laughter ] >> yeah. the hot look >> seth: so this is just motion capture. >> yeah. that's what it looks like. >> seth: and what was the game >> well, it's, you know, a franchise i'm super well acquainted with. it's the nba 2k franchise. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, gotcha. so now - >> yeah, big lifelong gamer. always wanted to be in a video game and i got the call being "hey, do you want to be in the nba game?" and i was like, "you know, i don't know even how to play basketball whatsoever. >> seth: right [ laughter ] >> don't worry i don't play i'm a sports agent >> seth: wait, so you got cast in a video game and --
>> yeah, to play a sports agent. >> seth: and there you are in the video game this is so disappointing >> yeah. [ laughter ] i'm just in a diner scene, you know >> seth: yeah. >> it's like regular old - >> seth: you're not even outer space or in a stadium. >> no laser guns no nothing and i was like, "aw, maybe -- can you do a little something? you know, pop that jaw line a little bit more? "nah, no we're going to make you look pretty standard middledicth right there. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. it looks like the scene where the player is firing you as his agent. [ laughter ] >> yeah. there's a lot of things. and, you know, as it's in the story mode, right. >> seth: yeah. >> you make decisions. so there's a lot of scenes where he had to do -- we talk. and then we just enter this sort of static animation. >> seth: uh-huh. >> while the player has to, like, make his decision. >> seth: oh, i see so i'm at home waiting to press a button and what are you doing while i'm waiting? >> and i'm like, "so, chay, what's it going to be? [ laughter ] you just go to the sunken place for a little bit [ laughter ] yeah >> seth: do you -- are you where someone when you were growing up are you on the internet a lot? where you -- >> uh --
[ laughter ] >> seth: no, i feel -- as soon as i asked i was like, obviously -- >> yeah, yeah. do you even have to? yeah yeah, i've been known to, as a wee lad, browse around the corners of some chat rooms >> seth: yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] what was your chat room life like >> oh, you know, just trying, you know, practicing flirting. >> seth: yeah. >> either with girls or people who i thought were girls >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> do you feel like you picked up some skills >> yeah, pal yeah i know how to talk to ladies >> seth: yeah. >> asl, babe i need that age, sex, location >> seth: oh, wow >> yeah. >> seth: so is that still -- and you found that had transition very well into the real world? >> oh, yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> and oh, yeah, i go up right to someone's face say, "asl. [ laughter ] >> seth: wow >> uh, 37, male, here. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. and then you're off and running. >> yeah, like -- not for me. got to be way older. [ laughter ] i don't even see a fanny pack. >> seth: genuinely,
congratulations on the sixth season it's an amazing comedy, man. [ cheers and applause thank you for being back >> it was a dream to do this show [ cheers and applause >> seth: it was great. thomas middleditch, everybody. the sixth and final season of "silicon valley" airs sundays on hbo. we'll be right back with more "late night. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪ hi! welcome to chili's hi! welcome to lindsey's. welcome to gigi's. welcome to peter's. shhh! welcome to mitch's!
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>> seth: welcome back everybody. i wanted to take a few moments tonight to speak about rick ludwin. rick was a long time nbc executive and a friend who passed away last night we knew him as the vice president in charge of nbc "late night. and i first met him when i joined "snl" in 2001 by then he was already a legend. his career began at the "mike douglas show" that started in his hometown in cleveland he worked with johnny carson and letterman and conan and leno and jimmy. and he was just retiring when we started here on our "late night" run but he often came by gave thoughtfully worded notes that were complimentary but firm
and fair when i was at "snl," rick did this old school thing that everybody loved. if you wrote a sketch that did well, he would get a copy of it and write, "this played great, rick." and then send it to you from his office in l.a. and it arrived in this strange inner office envelope from a bygone era that when you saw in it your mailbox, you knew before you opened it that it was from rick but those pages meant the world to all of us and we saved them. because if you were having a bad week you had this proof that according to a legend, something you had written had played great. and when someone's sketch would bomb, i mean, really bomb, in a way that no one could say that it done okay we would get a page of the script and forge rick's signature and write, "this played great" and slide it under the door of the writer who wrote it [ laughter ] and when i told rick we had started to do that he was delighted [ laughter ] very interesting piece of tv history. rick was the reason "seinfeld" was a show on nbc.
when jerry and larry david where selling "the seinfeld chronicles" nbc prime time wasn't interested. but rick could see how good it was. so he made a deal that he would take money out of the budget for specials, which was his department, and use it to make a season of seinfeld and it's unbelievable how one man doing one thing could make a difference in history. last time i saw him was at jerry's birthday, which was fitting. it's also fitting to be talking about rick on "late night" because there was nothing rick liked more than talking about "late night. and he was so giving and warm with his history and his stories and his time there's now a rick ludwin studio at his alma mater of miami university, ohio i hope the kids that attend know how lucky they are to even slightly know such a great man and at his core, the best thing about rick was how kind he was he was kind in a way that was really important to the people he interacted with he was kind in a way that was very unique for this world that
we live in, in television and the entertainment industry and he will just be deeply, deeply missed. i was so lucky to know him we'll be right back. shishito. burrito. raw kitfo fried shiso. pork chop. soda pop. soursop. hot pot. scallop. kebab. (inhale) brussels sprout. sauerkraut. fresh-caught trout. alfalfa sprout. we are america's kitchen. doordash. every flavor welcome. ( ♪ )
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[ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: making her "late night" debut performance. juicy, with a little help from tyga give it up for doja cat. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ i keep it juicy, juic i eat that lunch she keep that booty, booty she keep that plump ♪ ♪ that natural beauty, beauty yeah, yeah if you can see it from the front wait till you see it ♪ ♪ from the back back, back back, back back, back ♪ ♪ back, bac back, back back, back back, back ♪
♪ if you can see it from th front wait till you see ♪ ♪ it from the back, yea he like it back, yea keep him wanting more ♪ ♪ he ask me doja wher you at, hu where you at ♪ ♪ bet all man wanna kno i don't get that take that pull my pants up broke a fingernail ♪ ♪ and then some tryna squeeze into m true religion deni sell it big don't wann sell you light ♪ ♪ i don't buy it wher the cellulit he said th body unbelievable ♪ ♪ cannot trust a big butt and a gemini i, i, i ♪ ♪ i keep it juicy i eat that lunch she keep that booty, booty she keep that plump ♪ ♪ that natural beauty beauty yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ if you can se it from th front wait til you see it ♪ ♪ from the back, 'back, back ♪ back, back, back, bac back, back, back, back back, back, back, back ♪ ♪ if you can see it from th front wait till you se it from the back ♪
♪ bring that ass over, doja bring it back, back, bac i'm a big dog ♪ ♪ tryna eat the kitty cat, cat i'ma slide i the way it fit ♪ ♪ i can tell we match all about my racks hella ♪ ♪ i don't with rats big crib in hollywoo i don't even act ♪ ♪ come relax, let a tap hit you on the app take a lil with the ♪ ♪ wipe the pain away ♪ juicy and it's tighte than a virgi like madonna say ♪ ♪ i love when you give in ♪ i love when you don't hit me with the threesome and sometimes you won't ♪ ♪ you told me don't mess with no women you know ♪ ♪ you got it, yea you got it, baby you bust it on the floor i keep it juicy, juicy ♪ ♪ i eat that lunc she keep that booty, booty she keep that plum that natural beauty, beauty ♪ ♪ yeah, yeah if you can see it from the front wait till yo see it from the back ♪ ♪ back, back, back, wait til you see i from the back, bac back, back ♪ ♪ wait til you see it from the back, back, bac back, back, yeah aye ♪ ♪ if you can see it from th front wait till you se it from the back ♪ ♪ need the rump and nee the thighshe eat that ♪
♪ eat that up and in the night he see tha in the dark ♪ ♪ and in the ride he keep that keep it runnin like it plump ♪ ♪ he need tha need the rump an need the thigh he eat that ♪ ♪ eat that up and in the night he see tha in the dark ♪ ♪ and in the ride he keep that keep it running ♪ ♪ i eat that lunc she keep that booty ♪ ♪ she keep that plump that natural beauty, beauty yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ if you can see it from th front wait till you see it from the back, back, back, back, back ♪ ♪ back, back, back, bac back, back, back, back yeah ♪ ♪ if you can see it from th front wait till you see it from the bac [ cheers and applause >> seth: doja cat and tyga, everybody. her album "hot pink" is out now. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause
[ cheers and applause >> seth: my thanks to whoopi goldberg, thomas middleditch, doja cat, tyga, chris johnson. of course, the 8g band stayed tuned for lilly singh see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> lilly: oh, tonight on "a little late with lilly singh," the hilarious adam devine and i do some drunk texting. [ applause ] >> i'll be perfectly honest. i arrived drunk. and i've already texted several people so - [ laughter ] >> lilly: really like who >> my mother, my aunt, my cousin bertie >> lilly: oh, okay wait, when you're drunk, you text your relatives? [ light laughter ]