tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC November 16, 2019 12:37am-1:38am PST
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- emma thompson, from "snl", actor and comedian alex moffat, from "slave play", playwright jeremy o. harris featuring the 8g band with emily moon ♪ [ cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. how is everybody doing tonight [ cheers and applause that is great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news
house democrats released a copy of an eight-page resolution they will vote on this thursday to formalize the impeachment inquiry. ah, yes, the old make it so long trump won't read it trick. [ laughter ] "i'm supposed to read eight pages by thursday? what do i look like, a library person?" [ laughter ] president trump and first lady melania trump hosted trick-or-treaters at the white house yesterday and gave out full-sized hershey bars. and the kids were super excited, until they got the bill. [ laughter ] that's right, trump and melania held a halloween event at the white house. melania handed out candy, while trump took it back [ laughter ] "sorry, kid, executive privilege. [ laughter ] "no, i don't want the candy corn you can keep the candy corn. [ laughter ] during the event, president trump and melania passed out candy to trick-or-treaters on the white house lawn, i'm guessing for the first time [ laughter ] [ laughter and applause
>> seth: why why are you putting it on his head "all right i'll give this banana in overalls some candy, but i'm not -- i'm not bending over for it." [ laughter ] apple added 400 new emojis to iphones yesterday, including a pinching hand used to suggest that something is small. said men, "so what she wants me to buy only a little bit of eggplant?" [ laughter ] "what do you think that means? what?" the university of arizona announced yesterday that it will be changing its abbreviations from u.a. to u arizona in an attempt to differentiate itself from united airlines it will also differentiate itself from united airlines by providing meals. [ laughter ] a town in ireland broke a guinness world record this weekend by gathering over
1,000 people dressed like harry potter and if you want to see 1,000 people who look like ron weasley, just go to any town in ireland any time. [ laughter and applause and finally, the impeachment inquiry in the house rolls on. in today's docket, there was testimony provided by lieutenant colonel alexander vindman, the top ukraine expert on the national security council. and a decorated iraq war veteran who received a purple heart after being wounded in iraq. pretty solid witness, right? well, turns out that depends on whom you ask >> get this. this is buried in the "new york times" piece tonight, but i found it very interesting. because colonel vindman emigrated from ukraine, along with his family when he was a child, and is fluent in ukrainian and russian, ukrainian officials sought advice from him about how to deal with mr. giuliani, though they typically communicated in english. here we have a u.s. national security official who is advising ukraine while working inside the white house, apparently against the president's interests, and
usually they spoke in english. isn't that kind of an interesting angle on this story? >> seth: this bring us to a segment we call "hey!" ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: hey laura ingraham, you're attacking a decorated veteran to protect donald trump who do you think you are, donald trump [ laughter ] and by the way, yes, colonel vindman emigrated from ukraine when he was 3. nobody even remembers where they were when they were 3, with the possible exception of you. i'm sure when you were 3 you were already at saks fifth avenue making a salesperson cry. [ laughter ] and hey, do you really think it's smart to attack veterans on fox news veterans make up a pretty good chunk of your audience i think it goes veterans, people visiting their elderly relatives, and rage-aholic golfers age 73 and up. [ laughter ] but hey. at least you weren't alone a cnn contributor named sean duffy got in on the action as well.
>> mr. vindman, he's an adviser to the president he is a former ukrainian he wants to make sure the taxpayer money goes in military aid to the ukraine - >> i'm sorry i'm sorry. why does it matter why does it matter where he was born i'm sorry, congressman duffy why does it matter where he was born >> i'm going to explain that to you. >> that came up on fox news. he's an active duty military member, an american who was awarded the purple heart >> but you know what, it seems very clear that he is incredibly concerned about ukrainian defense. i don't know that he's concerned about american policy, but his main mission was to make sure that the ukraine got those weapons. >> seth: oh, hey, sean duffy, you don't know about his concern for american policy? he got a purple heart fighting for america. you were, and this is true, this seriously true, a cast member on "the real world: boston. [ laughter ] and by the way "the real world: boston" is the biggest oxymoron i have ever heard. [ light laughter ] boston isn't the real world. it's like colonial williamsburg with fistfights. [ light laughter ] and hey, you guys think he's putting ukraine over america, because he speaks ukrainian?
it might actually be helpful to speak the language of the nation you're dealing with. imagine how much better things would be doing here if this guy spoke english. [ laughter ] and hey, cnn, why are you having sean duffy on anyway from now on, anytime you have someone from a reality show on cnn, someone from cnn has to go on a reality show. [ light laughter ] let's see how wolf blitzer does on "love island. [ laughter and applause he'd probably -- if i'm being honest -- [ cheers and applause i bet he'd do pretty well. "i like your beard your beard matches your face." [ laughter ] "your first name is wolf i like that. [ laughter ] this has been "hey!" ♪ [ cheers and applause we have a great show for you tonight. she is an academy award-winning actress and the star of "last christmas", in theaters next weekend emma thompson is back, everybody. [ cheers and applause he is a very funny actor and comedian and a wonderful guy you know him from "saturday night live." alex moffat is here tonight.
[ cheers and applause and he is an incredibly talented playwright whose show "slave play" is currently on broadway at the golden theater jeremy o. harris is joining us [ cheers and applause now i -- you guys, i'm in my 40s. i'm married. i have two kids. but nothing makes me feel older, and i'm being serious about this, than when i realize -- those moments i realize i no longer understand teen slang terms. and it seems like these days they evolve so quickly that it's very hard to keep up so as a service to you and to myself, we decided to give you a little primer on new teen slang terms in a segment we call "seth explains teen slang. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: all right our first slang term the teens are using is "george w. kush." [ light laughter ] here's the definition. it's a terrible weed dealer who you now miss because your new guy is somehow even worse. [ laughter and applause for example, my last weed dealer was always late and could never break a 20, but he's great compared to this new weirdo who just sits on my couch, talks for an hour, and never has weed.
[ light laughter ] i miss that george w. kush [ light laughter ] you might have overheard some teens talking. and heard this one dropped this slang term is called "spider-mansplain. here's the definition. it's when a male comic book fan explains the marvel universe to a female comic book fan. [ laughter ] for example, jason was telling michelle about how thanos made his first appearance in "the invincible iron man" no. 55. and she was like, "i know the marvel universe like the silver surfer knows his home world zenn-la. don't spider-mansplain that to me, bitch. [ laughter and applause moving on. [ cheers and applause this is very helpful thanksgiving just coming around the corner this will be helpful when you're with grandparents and maybe also teens. it's "yeezer." this is an old guy who loves kanye. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence my grandpa is such a yeezer, i went to the nursing home on sunday and he was listening to "late registration" on full blast and shouting, "we want pre-nup.
[ laughter and applause our next new -- 'cause of course teens, very evolved, very interested in politics these days engaged, which explains this next new slang term. it's "joe biden. this is the kid who is overconfident he will be voted prom king. [ laughter and applause for example, kyle thinks he has prom king in the bag, but that joe biden just lost the theater nerd vote when he says "hamilton" sucks ass [ laughter ] next one is really blowing up with the teens across the pond it's "legxit." legxit [ light laughter ] good, save your laughs 'cause - [ laughter ] legxit, in case you're wondering, it's when you're having trouble getting out of a pair of skinny jeans [ laughter ] it was worth the wait. [ cheers and applause for example, i had three slices of square pizza in the cafeteria, so now legxit is impossible [ light laughter ] guess i'll try again in january.
#sleepinginjeans [ cheers and applause moving on. nothing the teens like more than facebook whenever you hear about facebook, it's always the teens. [ light laughter ] which explains this. moving on, we have "schmuckerberg." this is a prick who somehow knows all of your most personal details. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence it's bad enough that nick gives me a wedgie everyday, but he somehow knows my birthday, my mother's maiden name, and the exact brand of sweaters i buy. he a schmuckerberg [ laughter ] you may be familiar with the existing teen term "snack," which means an incredibly attractive person. well this is "snack-o-lantern. this is someone who is hot despite looking like a carved-up pumpkin. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence damian is bald, bulbous and has one tooth, but he can still get it that boy a snack-o-lantern [ laughter and applause helpful for the season, helpful term for the season. you may have heard the slang term "hot girl summer.
this next slang term is "pot girl fall. [ laughter ] here's the definition. this is when it changes from swimsuit weather to sweater weather, so now girls just get high [ laughter ] karen rolled into chemistry in a xl cable knit and shades and couldn't stop giggling whenever the teacher said "bunsen burner." [ light laughter ] guess it's pot girl fall [ light laughter ] our last teen slang term is "doob goldberg machine." this is a large, unnecessarily complicated device that's designed to light a joint. [ light laughter ] for example, i went over to jeremy's and just wanted to smoke up, but he's got some crazy doob goldberg machine where you pull on a juicer which sends a ball down a ramp that rolls over and hits a stick that sends a little ball down a ramp. and at the end of that ramp is another stick that pushes another ball down another ramp above that one [ laughter ] and that happens six more times. and the ball seems like its headed down, but it keeps climbing higher up this wall [ laughter ] and then the last ball falls into a pail that drops and spins a globe. but the globe has a moon attached to it - you know what? actually -- you know what, it would actually - [ cheers and applause it probably -- probably just be easier to show you how it works.
[ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause this has been "seth explains teen slang." we'll be right back with emma thompson. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ seeking something more. ♪ well if inspiration's what you're searching for... ♪ ♪ follow me to a place i know with endless possibilities so ♪ ♪ you can check your list off row-by-row. ♪ ♪ i'm making this song up as i go! ♪ ♪ come on! look around! ♪ so much in store, ♪ you'll spend much less but gift much more at the stores ♪ ♪ that you've been searching for! ♪ spend less, gift better. at t.j. maxx, marshalls, and homegoods. ah, that worked well! aveeno® with prebiotic striple oat complex balances skin's microbiome. so skin looks like this and you feel like this. aveeno® skin relief.
get skin healthy™ we're honored to have you on campus for taflac!icial visit. coach saban, how is aflac's program different from health insurance? well aflac gives you money directly, for things health insurance doesn't cover. aflac! we put together a little highlight reel for you. here's aflac helping you with your deductible... copays...out of pocket costs. you look good paying bills. get to know us at aflac.com [airport pa]"all flights have been delayed." t-mobile makes the holidays easier... ...like this. because right now when you buy one of the latest samsung phones you get one free. on that. so you can post this... ...score this... ...be there like this... ...and share all of this... ...with that. so do this, on that, with us. now, buy a samsung galaxy s10 or note 10 and get one free.
fishrisotto. buffalo. (buffalo wild wings) gelato. cheesecake. (cheesecake factory) grilled steak. clam bake. milkshake. brussels sprout. sauerkraut. fresh-caught trout. alfalfa sprout. curry. fried turkey. mcflurry. (mcdonald's) cacciatori. chimichurri. ad-lib: (inhale) spiral ham. blackberry jam. rack of lamb. candied yams. pokes. smokeys. gnocchis. and them banging raviolis. we are america's kitchen. doordash. every flavor welcome.
♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: welcome back, everybody. and give it up for the 8g band, right over there [ cheers and applause back with us tonight, she's the fantastic drummer from an exciting new rock 'n' roll band, starbenders. be sure to check her out on their latest release, "japanese rooms," as well as their brand-new single "holy mother. emily moon, everybody. [ cheers and applause thanks for being here emily. our first guest tonight is an academy and emmy award-winning actress you know from films such as "love actually" and "sense and sensibility. she wrote, produced, and stars in "last christmas," which is in theaters everywhere on november 8th let's take a look. >> she is eating rubbish when she is outside when she's at home, she's eating my food, and it's good >> i'm sure it is. what about sleep >> it's all right. >> she never sleeps. >> exercise? >> religiously >> not at all. >> alcohol >> maybe once and a while. >> she's drinking like the pirate [ laughter ] >> you say you're okay >> yep >> and your mother says the opposite who do i believe >> me, obviously >> me, the mother, of course >> all right >> seth: please welcome back to the show emma thompson, everyone
[ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> seth: they would have gone all night. >> can't i just sit down >> seth: they would have gone all night. welcome. >> love a dance, love a dance. >> seth: it's so wonderful to have you back. >> thank you, darling. >> seth: and congratulations you have written, you star in, a christmas film you are in one of the most beloved christmas films of all time, "love actually." >> oh, yes >> seth: yeah. [ cheers and applause >> seth: you're adding - >> i had forgotten >> seth: you're adding to the canon, which is very nice. you must like a christmas film >> yeah, i like some of them >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i like some of them >> seth: that's true there's some duds out there. >> yeah. yeah, though, it's not common to get a really good one.
but i did feel we needed a new one. >> seth: you did -- okay so this was out of necessity [ laughter ] >> i think necessity is putting it too strongly. >> seth: yeah. >> although, i did need to earn some money >> seth: right, right. [ laughter ] and that is what christmas is all about. [ laughter ] >> all about people. let's not forget [ cheers and applause >> seth: i don't want skip over a very interesting detail, you wrote this film with your husband. >> i did >> seth: and you've never written a film together before >> no. >> seth: that must have been a lovely experience. >> it was, and it was accidental as well. because -- because this wonderful producer david livingston said, "do you feel like writing a movie based on george michael's wham! song, 'last christmas?'" and i said, "not really. [ laughter ] because i'm not -- it's not my favorite christmas song. >> seth: yeah. >> and, um, it was a long time ago. and i listened to it and i thought, "last christmas, you gave me your heart then the very next day, you gave it away. and then, what can i do that i can't think of a story
so, i told my old man. and we were on a walk in the hills in scotland. and we thought, i wonder if there's something else we could do with it could we come at it in a different angle? so, is you started dreaming up this idea. as you start with the idea, which is like a little piece of grit >> seth: yeah. >> and then you have to kind of pearlize the grit over many years with draft after draft after draft, you know? but, the idea was good and it lasted and i met george michael about it two years before he died. and what a lovely guy. >> seth: yeah. and i will say, i -- which is a thing that i always regret, i almost feel as though i appreciated exactly how lovely he was after he passed away. >> i totally agree >> seth: you sort of hear the tributes and you realize, oh i sort of saw you through the prism of your pop culture persona -- >> yeah. >> seth: and you were so much more - there was so much more depth to you than that. >> yeah, he was an extraordinary man. i mean, really on the search all his life for a kind of authentic way of being
'cause he hadn't come out for a long, long time and that was really hard. and his move from that kind of wham! music to - like, "listen without prejudice" is one of the greatest albums of all-time, i think. and i didn't realize -- it was really spooky, i had no idea how pertinent his lyrics, his poetry and his music were to the movie, abd the story in the movie, until -- it was, like that late, late arrival that you just described. i just went, "oh, my god this guy's really deep and profound." and had very, very great things to say about what it is to be human, and how difficult it is and how complicated it is. >> seth: when you get a message like that from the work you're - you know, this is not an adaptation of a song, but the song is the inspiration, somebody else's work >> yeah. >> seth: when you get that from them, are you so excited 'cause you're, like, oh, my god. they had given me more than i even thought or do you have fears of, like, oh, i better not blow this 'cause this is now more than i thought it was going to be >> it happened over such a long period of time >> seth: how many years was it from start
>> eight >> seth: eight years >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: wow >> yeah. >> seth: that you guys -- your marriage survived. [ light laughter ] working on an eight-year project of any kind. >> yeah. absolutely it's extraordinary, isn't it >> seth: that's the real christmas miracle. yeah [ laughter ] >> i mean, any long-term relationship, yeah you just go, "how is it possible?" >> seth: yeah. >> it's basically impossible, actually so you just go -- every moment that it lasts you go, "well, this is kind of impossible [ laughter ] but, it still seems to be here [ laughter ] wow, how fantastic." and just keep your fingers crossed. >> seth: when did you shoot it, because there's so much christmas decorations in the film >> hmm >> seth: was it past christmas was it before? in real life, when you were shooting it. >> well, the fortunate thing was that we were shooting in london at night, before christmas >> seth: okay. >> three weeks before christmas. >> seth: okay, great >> all great everyone's -- okay we started at 2:00 a.m so, in covent garden and it was magical, magical and everyone's, "oh, guys, it's christmas. it's so gorgeous." [ laughter ] and then we had christmas and we were thinking, "this is great. we get two weeks off for christmas.
forgetting, of course, that christmas is so unbelievably exhausting >> seth: right >> so, everyone came back afterwards "oh, i'm so tried. "it was a really [ bleep ] christmas. [ laughter ] [ mumbling ] "long term relationships are impossible." blah, blah, blah and then we had to carry on doing christmas. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> until february! >> seth: ugh [ laughter ] i mean, that is just a nightmare. >> a nightmare >> seth: you were that terrible neighbor that doesn't take their decorations down >> oh! [ laughter ] >> seth: do, in england -- because we go from halloween, and then we have a little bit of a break with thanksgiving that you don't have is it just pretty much straight christmas from halloween on over there? >> from about july >> seth: yeah, from july [ laughter ] >> yeah, about then. >> seth: you're a christmas-y culture? >> terrible. >> seth: yeah. >> no, it's not -- i mean, culture is just the wrong word [ laughter ] when we start selling christmas, they start selling it fast and very early >> seth: yeah, yeah, yeah. they come right at you >> yeah, and i'm, like - with our family, i like christmas, because i had a nice childhood. >> seth: uh-huh. >> so, i start sticking cloves into fruit around november
[ laughter ] and my husband, who did not have a very nice childhood, really wants to be placed into some medicinally induced into some induced coma around december 15th to january 1st >> seth: okay, gotcha. yeah, just, like put on a drip or something >> yeah, so talking of long-term relationships, it's taken 25 years you know how you get a hedgehog to come in, just open the backdoor and leave a saucer of milk there and hope it - >> seth: i'm going to pretend i do >> yes [ laughter ] it's a small mammal. >> seth: okay, yeah. >> we don't have any left of course, because of climate change >> seth: right >> and brexit as well. they all packed their little - [ laughter ] their little mammals rucksacks >> seth: yeah, oh, really? >> and just -- yeah, they just left they said, "i don't need to be here anymore." >> seth: they were very -- they were pro-stay. >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> there won't be any spare food [ laughter ] and people will start eating us again. >> seth: interesting, 'cause i was in italy this summer and there were so many more hedgehogs than i - >> yeah, just -- yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: they've emigrated >> with their little packs >> seth: and they had british accents. >> they're gone, yeah. [ laughter ] little hedgehog passports. [ laughter ] [ squeak ] [ laughter ] >> seth: which is hard for - i feel bad for the immigration
people, 'cause to me all the hedgehogs look alike [ laughter ] >> and their passports are so tiny [ cheers and applause you have to have those tiny stamps [ squeak ] in you go. enjoy france [ laughter ] >> seth: you know what i'm going to end it here, only 'cause i never want people to find out what your hedgehog analogy was going to be. [ laughter ] i want them always to be, like they got so sidetracked that we never knew why emma was saying "you know how you lure in hedgehogs with water?" and you've got your mallet, anyway [ laughter ] that's emma thompson, everybody. [ cheers and applause "last christmas" is in theaters everywhere on friday november 8th we'll be right back with alex moffat. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ bang bang, there goes my bang bang, ♪ ♪ i want my bang bang, i want my bang bang ♪ ♪ go bang bang ♪ there goes my bang bang, ♪ go bang bang, there goes my bazooka ♪ ♪ ♪ go bang bang, there goes my bang bang, ♪ ♪ i want my mind blown, i want my mind blown ♪
♪ go bang bang, there goes my bazooka ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ "turn around, look at me" ♪ there is someone ♪ walking behind you ♪ turn around ♪ look at me ♪ there is someone ♪ look at me here's another cleaning tip from mr. clean. cleaning tough bathroom and kitchen messes with sprays and wipes can be a struggle. there's an easier way.
try mr. clean magic eraser. just wet, squeeze and erase tough messes like bathtub soap scum... and caked-on grease from oven doors. now mr. clean magic eraser comes in disposable sheets. they're perfect for icky messes on stovetops... in microwaves... and all over the house. for an amazing clean, try mr. clean magic eraser, and mr. clean magic eraser sheets. but the most important gift is the one you give to the person who believes in you... ...all year long. every best. gift. ever. begins with kay. (military mom's family) love you! miss you guys! ♪ (joy ofodu) we got this! ♪ (kids) wow! santa was here! (military mom's husband) whoa.
(military mom's husband) how did this happen? (military mom) i think i know. (military mom's husband) merry christmas honey. (military mom) merry christmas! (kids) look, it's snowing. ♪ wheyou want relief... fast. only thermacare ultra pain relieving cream has 4 active ingredients to fight pain 4 different ways. get powerful relief today, with thermacare. we need a solution.ut their phones down. introducing... smartdogs. the first dogs trained to train humans. stopping drivers from: liking. selfie-ing. and whatever this is. available to the public... never. smartdogs are not the answer. but geico has a simple tip. turn on "do not disturb while driving" mode. brought to you by geico.
alex moffat, everybody [ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: welcome to the show >> thank you thank you so much -- >> seth: i'm so happy to have you here >> i'm delighted to be here. >> seth: i was very excited when i first met you, when you went on "snl," because i knew you were a chicago guy >> yep >> seth: got your start there, much like me you had a very different job than i did in chicago. i was a waiter >> uh-huh. >> seth: to pay the bills when i was an improviser. your job - your side gig, you worked for the chicago bulls. >> i did, i was a point guard. >> seth: you were a point guard. [ laughter ] on one of the years that they weren't very good. yeah >> shockingly. [ laughter ] >> seth: you were on the acro-dunk team >> yeah. >> seth: so what is -- explain the acro-dunk -- >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause everybody here knows what the acro-dunk team is, seth. [ light laughter ]
it's -- yeah, so you how sometimes you go to a game and there's a bunch of people running down the court and hitting trampolines, and flipping and dunking >> seth: yeah. >> yeah, that's what it is >> seth: did, i mean - >> benny and the elevators, we were called. >> seth: benny and the elevators. >> for benny the bull. >> seth: of course, that is a reference to benny the bull. >> uh-huh. >> seth: anyone's been around chicago, a very famous mascot. >> good old b the b. [ cheers and applause >> seth: how do you -- >> thank you >> seth: how do you find your way into - >> diehards. >> seth: an acro-dunk audition, even >> you know, the same way everybody does [ laughter ] i was up one late -- up one night, late, having a couple of beverages in my little hovel of an apartment and looking up craigslist talent gig. >> seth: uh-huh. >> possibilities and there it was >> seth: wow >> yeah. >> seth: and so then you were -- and then you - there was some acting involved in being on the acro-dunk team you would do bits with benny the bull >> i would, sometimes. >> seth: okay. >> yes >> seth: so what would be a -- what would be a bit you would do with benny the bull?
>> so one -- one of my absolute flavorites was one time i was basically a plant in the audience and this is going to maybe pull back the curtain a little bit. so prepare to be sad [ laughter ] i was a plant in the audience. the bulls were playing the mavs. >> seth: okay. >> in the dirk nowitzki years. and so he had me in a dirk jersey and a mavs hat, sitting in a particular section. >> seth: and this is, benny the bull sort of tells you where to go >> benny the bull -- >> seth: okay. >> he was my boss. >> seth: okay, gotcha. [ laughter ] >> my boss was this -- creature. >> seth: you went from this to lorne michaels >> yeah. [ laughter ] similar deal >> seth: for all we know that was lorne. [ light laughter ] >> i'm still not sure i wan't. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> so, yeah, he had me in the audience he had it all preplanned so that the p.a. guy was like, "direct your attention to the jumbotron. like, "phil and stacy had their first date here at a bulls game 10 years ago they're celebrating their anniversary with us here tonight. they played "brown eyed girl." benny comes up with a cake
and then i, as a jerk mavs fan, am like getting in the shot. like, "go mavs dirk, you're the man." [ light laughter ] and benny's assistant, todd, was like pushing me out of the way and i was like, "don't push me, dude." [ light laughter ] classic dallas accent. [ laughter ] and so then i kept getting in the frame, he kept pushing me. until finally, like, he kind of shoved me down a stair and then i'd, like, get this look of rage and slap the cake out of his hands yeah [ laughter ] oh, it was right, so - >> seth: so you were basically a wrestling heel is what -- yeah >> i was a wrestling heel. >> seth: and so the audience must have hated you. >> oh, yeah. a little while later i went to my seat and, like, you know -- >> seth: so you stayed in your seat >> oh, yeah. >> seth: okay. >> uh -- [ laughter ] which -- then a security guard came down -- they kept showing me and my friend on the jumbotron. and any time they did, people would be like, "boo! get that jerk out of here! [ laughter ] punch him in the face. and so a security guard came
over and was like, "sir, we'd like to move sections for your own safety." and i was like, "thank you very much, but there's this part two to this bit that you're going to love." [ laughter ] and so, like, a quarter later he was like, "just be in your seat, be on your phone, don't notice anything." and i was like, "copy that, benny the bull." [ light laughter ] and so they show, like, me sitting in my seat everybody starts booing. and then they show benny, like, going like this. and then he starts creeping down and pulls the hat off my head. everybody cheers and then i, like, ran after him. and was like, "mr. bull, please - [ light laughter ] give me my hat back. i'm sorry about the cake thing." which was all for me they couldn't hear it. but -- [ laughter ] anyway - >> seth: as an actor, you have a character, a story - >> yeah, i needed it >> seth: yeah. >> i needed it >> seth: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> so then he takes a bundle of balloons, and sends my hat into the rafters. place goes up for grabs. and then i went down to my seat, grabbed my jacket, and then stood up and walked out. and when i walked out of the stadium, there was the biggest cheer i've ever gotten in my life
[ laughter ] people hated me. [ cheers and applause >> seth: well done bravo. >> yeah. so that was a fun gig. >> seth: i feel as though we've made a lot of fun of being an acro -- acro-dunk team >> yeah. >> seth: but we actually have footage. this is from, i guess, a christmas video. >> prepare to be disappointed. >> seth: no, i - [ laughter ] i was not disappointed let's take a look -- >> great >> seth: to prove this is all true ♪ >> seth: i mean, that's pretty impressive >> not bad [ light laughter ] >> seth: you have a -- sort of famously, "snl" has a pitch every monday >> uh-huh. >> seth: and when i was there, you pitched something that was based on my name >> yeah. >> seth: i did not realize that this was something that you had been doing consistently on every monday >> yeah. >> seth: do you remember what you pitched for me >> absolutely -- >> seth: okay. >> seth. how about a commercial for a product, for people who love their drugs extra crispy - >> seth: uh-huh. >> called "seth meyers meth fryers." >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] i remember that. >> not bad [ cheers and applause >> seth: yeah. and that is probably -- i wouldn't even say that's a little better than it went in
the room because i find that -- that's about how it went >> seth: but you did it for everyone >> i did >> seth: and - >> until steve higgins finally said, "no more." [ laughter ] "i'm telling you this as a friend, don't do it. [ light laughter ] so, yeah, i did it for -- just two solid years straight [ laughter ] 'til people were, like, throwing tomatoes at me >> seth: i appreciate your commitment to a bit. >> truly my pleasure >> seth: i also really appreciate -- and i just want to mention this quick trump boys, as good an "update" feature as i've ever seen. >> thank you [ cheers and applause >> seth: and do you ever - do you ever -- i mean, obviously you don't actually look -- do you ever get any eric trump recognition on the streets >> i do. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: how's that feel >> great >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] it does feel like that's a little bit like being the guy in the mavs jersey at a bulls game. >> it's a lot like that. [ laughter ] "boo!" like, i'm not the real guy i just do a spot-on impression >> seth: it really is, yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: pitch perfect impression >> i just studied a lot of tape. >> seth: hey, thanks for being here have a great show saturday
>> this was awesome. thank you. [ cheers and applause >> seth: really appreciate it. alex moffat, everybody [ cheers and applause "snl" returns this week with kristen stewart and musical guest coldplay we'll beig r bhtack with more "late night. [ cheers and applause ♪ state farm is challenging us, every good act we do goes... on the board. it's on. at state farm, we're challenging ourselves to each do 100 acts of good. on the board little one. i'm here with state farm employee max, who is saving a beached whale. max... on the board! on the board! (cheering) this man has become an absolute hero. giving back starts with us. join us at neighborhoodofgood.com®. roll introducing jimmy dean a nebiscuit roll ups.st. we took delicious sausage, eggs, and cheese and rolled it all up, in a soft flakey biscuit. give your family a good hearty breakfast that you can eat on the go. man 1 vo: proof of less joint pain woman 1 oc: this is my body of proof.
and clearer skin. man 2 vo: proof that i can fight psoriatic arthritis... woman 2 vo: ...with humira. woman 3 vo: humira targets and blocks a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. it's proven to help relieve pain, stop further irreversible joint damage, and clear skin in many adults. humira is the number one prescribed biologic for psoriatic arthritis. avo: humira can lower your ability to fight infections. serious and sometimes fatal infections, including tuberculosis, and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. man 3 vo: ask your rheumatologist about humira. woman 4 vo: go to humira.com to see proof in action. ( ♪ )
♪ only lexus asks questions like these, because we believe the most amazing machines are inspired by you. experience the rewards of our curiosity. grab those command hooks and let's make it work. a wreath on every door, lights in every room, go all out because everything comes down damage free. hallelujah! command. do. no harm. ♪needs somebody ♪everybody needs somebody to love♪
♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: welcome back. lately - i don't need to tell you that lately the news has been abuzz about the whistle-blowers who have come forward about inside information about president trump. and here tonight is the original anonymous whistle-blower, bravely addressing the public for the first time please give a warm welcome to mildred mildew, everybody. [ cheers and applause >> hey, hi oh, wow. wow. hi, seth >> seth: so, wait. now, you are the whistle-blower? >> absolutely. [ light laughter ] >> seth: okay. 'cause i only want to have you on the show if you are >> i'm definitely worth having
on tv. [ light laughter ] >> seth: all right well, tell us everything you know >> okay. well, i blew the whistle because megan, who's in charge of crowning the community garden's monthly flower king, told me that my roses were the most beautiful. but the next day, her email blast to the whole club said arthur's were the best which makes no sense, because -- >> seth: mildred >> seth? [ laughter ] >> seth: i brought you here to talk about trump >> oh. his rose garden is great, but i heard he doesn't even grow them himself. just like arthur that little rascal actually hired outside help to tend to his flowers. >> seth: so, you don't know anything about president trump and his phone call with ukraine? >> why would i know? [ light laughter ] >> seth: well, you said you were the whistle-blower >> i am. i'm the whistle-blower for the royal oaks community garden scandal. [ laughter ] >> seth: well then, you know, respectfully i'd like to wrap this up. i only want to talk with you if you have dirt for me >> oh, that's exactly what my cousin who works at the white
house told me trump said on the ukraine call [ light laughter ] speaking of sneaky phone calls [ laughter ] when megan dated arthur -- >> seth: wait, wait, wait. what did you say >> my cousin works for president trump and listens to all his phone -- >> seth: no, no, no. did you say megan? as in the person who decided the flower king? >> yes >> seth: megan used to date arthur [ laughter ] who she named the winner >> for two whole years >> seth: that is messed up >> i know! [ laughter ] >> seth: i mean, that is corrupt to it's core >> i've been saying! >> seth: i can't believe no one else said anything what should we do about it should we start a petition what about a protest >> yes i made a shirt "suck a tulip, megan." [ laughter and applause >> seth: this is big we will be right back with jeremy o. harris >> on "closer look" tomorrow - [ cheers and applause ♪ shishito. burrito. raw kitfo. fried shiso.
french fry. iced chai. tasty. pad thai. baked pie. half stack. taco pack. lobster mac. baby back. pork chop. soda pop. kebab. soursop. hot pot. i'm hungry now. noodle soup. cantaloupe. ice cream scoop. whipped cream bloop. dumpling. chicken wing. peking. and those crispy onion rings. we are america's kitchen. doordash. every flavor welcome. we are america's kitchen. (count) time for one chore [thunder crashing], ah! ahh! my mower! (burke) the number "one." seen it, covered it. at farmers insurance, we know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two. (bert) mmm. ♪ we are farmers. bum-pa-dum, bum-bum-bum-bum ♪ (paul) switch to sprint everyone is talking about.s the...
(sprintern) the new iphone 11 or iphone 11 pro with amazing all-new camera systems. and you can get both an unlimited plan and the new iphone 11 included for just $35 a month. (paul) and with sprint's 100% total satisfaction guarantee you can try out the network and see the savings for yourself. (sprintern) ahh! it's the best season of the year. (paul) is that your excited dance? (sprintern) what dance? for people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay.com. ♪ running out of gift ideas, ♪ seeking something more. ♪ well if inspiration's what you're searching for... ♪ ♪ follow me to a place i know with endless possibilities so ♪ ♪ you can check your list off row-by-row. ♪ ♪ i'm making this song up as i go! ♪ ♪ come on! look around! ♪ so much in store, ♪ you'll spend much less but gift much more at the stores ♪ ♪ that you've been searching for! ♪ spend less, gift better. at t.j. maxx, marshalls, and homegoods. ah, that worked well!
or these. good thing they're sold literally everywhere business is done. i'm pretty sure you could buy them at a bank. not sorry. reese's. not sorry. those darn seatbelts got me all crumpled up. that's ok! hey, guys! hi mrs. patterson... wrinkles send the wrong message. sorry. help prevent them before they start with new downy wrinkleguard. plaque psoriasis uncoverth clearer skin that can last. in fact, tremfya® was proven superior to humira® in providing significantly clearer skin. tremfya® may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms or if you had a vaccine or plan to. serious allergic reactions may occur. tremfya®. uncover clearer skin that can last. janssen can help you explore cost support options.
shouldn't mean a change in standards. that's why - thanks to you - we're rated number one in customer satisfaction by j.d. power. case in point, if youe saviget xfinity internetle. and mobile together, big savings on your wireless bill. write this down, this is important. amy, this is actually a life saving class. what a nice compliment, thank you! save on fast internet and the best wireless network together.
♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest tonight is an award-winning playwright, whose critically-acclaimed show "slave play" is on broadway at the golden theatre please welcome to the show jeremy o. harris, everyone [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> seth: oh, my goodness, jeremy thank you for being here [ cheers and applause >> thank you for having me >> seth: we have - we've been fortunate enough to meet a few times before this but of all those times, this by far the best jacket. >> yes >> seth: and i want you to know that [ laughter ] >> thank you i feel like i try to, like, you know, come with my sartorial foot - >> seth: yes >> forward >> seth: and, well, it is forward. >> thank you >> seth: thank you >> you know, tonight, i felt like the foot i should have led with was my dancing foot, because emma thompson was so good
>> seth: yeah. >> and i think she just out-danced me. >> seth: no, well we'll find out. we'll have everybody text in to vote >> great >> seth: yeah. >> oh, my god, that would be so good [ laughter ] >> seth: and then whoever does the best can come back next month. [ laughter ] so, first of all, we have something in common, which is we both have an enduring admiration for rihanna. you actually use a rihanna song in your show is this something that you had always thought you wanted? or was it after you actually saw it on its feet you were like, "oh, i know what will match with this well? >> well, i mean, the thing with - so rihanna is so a part of me. i'm not -- not to make this, like, person who's so not inside of my body a person that's inside of my body. but she lives inside of me >> seth: okay, gotcha. [ laughter ] >> like, she actually does >> seth: so if we need her - >> yeah, if you need her, i can actually, like, summon her to the space now. [ light laughter ] i mean, where do you think i got the jacket but the thing is, when the play came to me, it like hit me like a bolt of lightning. and the first thing that was playing in my mind was "work." and that's because -- and this is kind of a spoiler but, like, "work" is a song that played in my mind for three years straight
so i decided that it should play in the mind of the lead characters for three years straight >> seth: gotcha. it's great that you have it. and then she came and saw the show >> she did >> seth: and that must have been for you, as any creator of art, when someone you respect comes to see it. she was texting during the show, which some people were critical of but it turns out that she was texting you during the show. >> yes yes. >> seth: that must have just been wonderful >> it both was and wasn't, for my inbox >> seth: okay. >> the next day after i said she did that >> seth: oh, gotcha. >> a lot of people got very up in arms about the fact that i didn't, like say like, "no rihanna, no! [ laughter ] all these people were like, "you know when lin-manuel had saw madonna texting during 'hamilton,' he told her she could not come backstage!" and i was like, "yeah, i'm not lin. [ laughter ] i don't have "hamilton" money. also -- also rihanna was, like, texting me that she loved the show she also texted me some very funny things - >> seth: okay. >> about the show that just are going to live with me forever. >> seth: yeah. >> so i was just -- you know,
again, there - there's so many bigger issues with theater as far as like who's there, how they're there, what they're doing when they're there that like for me, rihanna texting was, like, the least of my worries when it came to, like, theater. because my mom texts every time she sees my play i don't know what to do about that so i'm not going to -- like, i would have to, like, yell at my mom and tell her she couldn't come back stage at my play - >> seth: yeah. >> if i was, like, going to have a hard line on texting in the theater. >> seth: you've actually be very outspoken about what you were talking about, the bigger issues with the play. because, you know, it does some like, in a good way, there's more representation on stage but still, broadway audiences are -- there's a lack of diversity there. you've tried very hard to bring diversity into the seats as well can you talk about the things you wanted to do and even with "slave play," just the affordability of tickets, things like that >> yeah. i mean, so one of the things i told all the producers on "slave play" was that no one wants to walk around being like, "hey, i got really rich producing 'slave play' on broadway." [ laughter ] >> seth: right >> least of all when you're a white producer, right? >> seth: right, right. [ laughter ] >> you don't want to be like, "i made so much money doing 'slave play' on broadway."
[ laughter ] which is psychotic so i was like, "can we make sure that we, like, are making it so that people like me can actually see a play on broadway?" because i -- and this is a very real thing i did not see a play on broadway until four years ago, and that was lucas hnath's "a doll's house, part 2" on broadway with a free ticket that i got from a friend at juilliard. so -- and like, one of the biggest things was that i was a theater maker who wanted to do theater, wanted to make theater. and i worked four jobs and, like, also asked my mom to help me pay for my rent. to like -- in order to afford to have some piecemeal version of it so i could never afford, like, a $200 ticket. and most of the major plays on broadway right now have, like, an average ticket price of $110. >> seth: right >> and that's, like, you know -- if anything like a huge portion of your rent, if not your light bill for the month so i wanted to make sure that, like, there were 10,000 tickets available for $39. that any time someone came at 9:30 a.m., they could get a rush ticket for $39 and that we could give as many free tickets away to kids as possible during, like, our previews which we did, which was amazing.
>> seth: and was it -- [ cheers and applause as a creator of art, it must have been nice to be able to give that to them. and obviously, you know, you're making something that you want people from all walks of life to see. >> yeah. >> seth: so it must be nice to have all walks of life in the theater. >> the theater has to be full of people who look like me. and not just my skin color, but my age, my like sexual identity, all these things and price is a big thing that prohibits them from coming not to mention the fact that, like, you know, most people who don't look white, wealthy, and like over 60, have never been invited to the theater and that's because in the '70s, all of the major regional theaters created subscription programs for young like, cool people who wanted to see theater. so, like, theaters like the roundabout had, like, programs where if you were a young couple you would buy, like, a $40 membership, and you'd be able to see theater all year long. but they only, like programed those plays for that audience. because they were like, we have it we have like all these people. but that audience is much older and they're dedicated theater-goers. but that same invitation hasn't been made for my generation.
>> seth: yeah. >> so i was like, how can we - you can't invite someone to your house for a dinner party and like expect them to make a four-course meal which is what i feel spending $100 on a play is like but you do say like, "will you bring a bottle of wine?" >> seth: right [ laughter ] >> and that's a $39 commitment >> seth: you also -- this is very nice. you tweeted some scams you even called them scams, of ways to see theater. this was nice, "i haven't used since i was an undergrad you go to the box office and confidently say your name when they ask when they don't see your name, just say, 'x board member invited my dad and i.' they will find a ticket. [ laughter ] >> i mean, i hate to say this, but i scammed a lot of theaters in california -- >> seth: yeah. >> and new york. [ laughter ] and chicago in my, like, rush to want to see theater in my early 20s. >> seth: this is another one i like text a rich friend, "oh, my god, have you heard about this insane show 'slave play'? everyone's saying it's amazing." then send them a link and they will say, "should we go? and then they will buy the tickets. [ laughter ] >> yes [ applause ]
>> seth: one, i hope people do that and, two, i think it's great that people should get in there, and they should see the play and it's worth $39 it is worth all the other ticket prices as well and - >> listen, i'm looking at you right now. >> seth: yeah. >> because you said you think people should text their rich friends. >> seth: yeah. >> you are rich. >> seth: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] >> i'm in this space >> seth: yeah. >> if someone tweets you tonight that they want to see "slave play," will you buy them a ticket >> seth: yeah. >> you will? >> seth: yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause >> okay. okay i didn't plan this scam. >> seth: okay, great this is good -- i can't believe -- >> this is a scam i brought up on the spot. >> seth: i brought up the scams and then you scammed me! >> yes [ laughter ] >> seth: so i can't sit here now and be like, "i didn't know he was a scammer," and then tweets. argh no, it would be my honor >> okay, great tweet at - >> seth: let's say the first 10 people that tweet me about this, i will get tickets to "slave play. >> will you get them premium tickets? [ cheers and applause >> seth: yeah. >> you will? >> seth: i'll give the first 10 people to tweet me. [ cheers and applause you know what? what an honor to be played by you, sir
[ cheers and applause >> seth: my thanks to emma thompson, alex moffat, jeremy o. harris, everybody. [ cheers and applause emily moon, the 8g band. stay tuned for lilly singh we'll see you tomorrow i'll do it too [ cheers and applause ♪ [ cheers and applause >> lilly: tonight on "a little late with lilly singh" i've got the multi-talented lea michele and the incredible justin hartley [ cheers and applause >> thank you so much for having us >> it's really great to be here. >> lilly: oh of course lea, since you're such a talented singer, i was thinking maybe you