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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  May 26, 2020 12:36am-1:37am PDT

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all right, guys, thank you so much for watching our best of moments and stay cool. >> seth: hi, i'm seth meyers and this week we're running all of my adventures in day drinking. you know retta from "parks and recreation" and "good girls. and i know her as the woman who saw me day drinking with my family, called us up and said, "i want to do that, too. tonight's episode also has jokes "seth can't tell" and guests andy cohen and ta-nehisi coates. enjoy. ♪ cheers and applause >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- andy cohen from "girlfriends' guide to divorce," actress and comedian retta. writer ta-nehisi coates. featuring the 8g band with darren king. ♪ [ cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen,
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seth meyers. [ cheers and applause >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause that's fantastic in that case, let's get to the news following president trump's inauguration, the white house website no longer has an option for translation into spanish so, sorry, mexican immigrants, but if you want to live here, you'll just have to learn to speak russian. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause president trump today met with the leaders of fiat, chrysler, ford, and general motors and he asked them one question "how many people do you think were at my inauguration? [ laughter ] president trump said today that he is, to a large extent, an environmentalist well he certainly made sure that the grass in the national mall wasn't trampled. [ laughter and applause "stay back stay back.
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according to sources, hillary clinton is seriously considering running for mayor of new york city. and just to be a dick, so is trump. [ laughter ] [ audience oohs today was national peanut butter day. interesting fact about peanut butter, it's what they put in the president's mouth to make it look like he's talking [ laughter and applause google map google maps has announced a feature that will help users find a parking spot at their destination, and just look at all these open spaces it found [ laughter and applause actor mel gibson welcome actor mel gibson welcomed his ninth child this weekend hey, mel mazel tov. [ laughter ] good for you police are searching for a man who broke into a sex shop to
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steal a blowup doll, and they shouldn't have much trouble catching him because he's probably out of breath [ light laughter ] but why is he out of breath? think about it, get back to me [ light laughter ] and finally, today was national compliment day, so, to my wife, i'd just like to say, you're a very lucky woman [ laughter and applause ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show tonight he's the host of bravo's "watch what happens live," also a "new york times" best selling author and a dear friend of our show andy cohen is here tonight, everybody. [ cheers and applause she is the star of "girlfriends' guide to divorce." she's also going to help me with some serious day drinking. retta is back on the show. [ cheers and applause and he wrote an incredible cover story for the atlantic on president obama called "my president was black. ta-nehisi coates is back on the show [ cheers and applause so excited that i get a chance to talk to him again
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before we get to that, in a meeting yesterday with a bipartisan group of congressional leaders, president trump repeated the false claim that he would have won the popular vote had it not been for three to five million people who voted illegally, which brings us to a segment we call, "hey!" ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: hey, why do you keep lying about this there is zero evidence for this claim. also, why would you say three to five million people? we already know from the inauguration you have no idea what a million people looks like [ laughter ] just accept you're bad at guesstimating. how many kids do you have? "well, there's ivanka -- 20? [ laughter ] but hey, you won the election. what are you complaining about you're like a guy who wins the super bowl and spends the post game interview complaining about a pass interference call in the first quarter. winners don't complain about the final score. you know who does? degenerate gamblers. [ light laughter ]
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but i guess if you knew anything about gamblers, your casinos would still be open. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause the election -- the election is over and you're the president. so let me just say what dozens of women have already said to you. "hey, let go of it." [ audience ohs ] this has been "hey." [ cheers and applause ♪ you guys, here at "late night," every night i deliver a monologue comprised of jokes that are written by a diverse team of writers. as a result, a lot of jokes come across my desk that due to my being a straight white male would be difficult for me to deliver. but we don't think that should stop you from enjoying them, so we'd like to share them with you in a segment called "jokes seth can't tell." ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: hey everybody, these are two of our writers, amber and jenny. >> i'm black >> and i'm gay >> and we're both women. >> seth: and i'm not [ laughter ] so here's how this works
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i'll read the setups for jokes and then amber and jenny will read the punch line. so, all right, here we go. according to a recent article, lesbian bars in america have almost completely disappeared. >> there's only one left, and it's called guitar center. [ light laughter ] >> seth: so if there are no lesbian bars, how do lesbians find each other? >> oh, there are signs you know, like a crisp button-down shirt, or a strong jaw line or a short hair cut that's kind of spiky in the front. >> you mean, like this >> yeah, exactly like this [ laughter ] >> seth: strong jaw line, i'll take it. [ light laughter ] a florida theater is set to screen a series of african-american silent films. >> said people in the theater, "finally a movie that won't interrupt my conversation. [ laughter and applause >> seth: neo nazis have declared new balance the official shoes of white people. >> while the official shoes of lesbians are ugly. [ light laughter ] >> seth: aw, come on, jenny. lesbians don't wear ugly shoes
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okay, yeah point taken. [ light laughter ] those are your fancy shoes [ light laughter ] the department of justice recently found that the chicago police use excessive force >> said black people, "there's a department of justice? [ laughter and applause >> seth: a new lesbian dating app called click rejects the concept of swiping and instead matches women based on their values and interests >> that way users can keep their fingers free for other stuff [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] >> seth: lesbians. [ laughter ] british prime minister theresa may today outlined her plans for how the u.k. will leave the european union, which some are calling a black brexit. >> before that, the definition of black brexit was when you left ihop before you got the check. [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm glad i didn't tell that one
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i'm glad you told that one >> i'm a little sad i told it. >> seth: ellen degeneres and portia de rossi are reportedly shopping for a house in australia. >> which makes sense, since lesbians love to go down under [ laughter and applause >> seth: the library at the university of west virginia is seeking copies of three rare african-american newspapers published in the early 20th century. >> but you can't have mine because there are coupons for baby powder in there [ light laughter ] >> seth: what do you use - wait what do you use baby powder for? >> to put on my face in case the cops pull me over. [ laughter and applause >> hey, seth why do >> hey, seth why don't you tell one >> seth: no, i don't want to >> come on >> seth: i think if i do, i'll get in trouble okay, i trust you guys [ light laughter ] the academy gave eight nominations today to the black, gay coming-of-age film "moonlight." though i prefer its original name, "broke-black mountain. [ light laughter ] >> how dare you?
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>> seth: you told me it would be okay >> you should be ashamed of yourself >> seth: black women and lesbians are liars ♪ [ cheers and applause we'll be right back with andy cohen, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ (anita sampson vo) i was born during a quarantine. for my mother, it was a very difficult time. but she wasn't alone. everybody tried to do what they could to help. we can get through this. we all have the strength to do it. i've seen it. [laughs] safe drivers save 40%!
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: welcome back, everybody. please, give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause also, back with us tonight on drums, he's from the grammy-nominated rock band mutemath who are coming off a summer tour and surprise ep collaboration with twenty one pilots, and are currently working on their fifth studio album darren king is here, everybody there he is. [ cheers and applause our first guest tonight is a "new york times" best-selling author and the host of "watch what happens live," which airs sunday through thursday at 11:00 pm on bravo. please welcome back to the show, our friend andy cohen, everybody! [ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: how are you >> i'm great that was so funny. you know, if the president saw any of your monologue -- >> seth: yeah. >> he would bust a capillary, i feel like. >> seth: it wouldn't be great. i'm glad that this is not a show he seems to watch. >> right [ laughter ] >> seth: i understand.
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>> yes, yes. >> seth: i understand the choices he makes i want to congratulate you - >> thank you >> seth: because i have done your show before it is one of the most fun shows to do. >> thank you >> seth: it's right here in new york city. >> yes >> seth: but you've just upgraded your studio >> yes, we moved basically from, like, a tic-tac to a studio apartment. >> seth: okay, great [ light laughter ] >> so we had 18 seats, and now we have 34 seats [ cheers ] which is - >> seth: which is great. [ applause ] it -- i -- you know, it's hard to explain to people exactly how small your old studio was. >> it's teeny. and the new one is really small, too. >> seth: yeah. >> last night, jerry o'connell was on >> seth: yep >> and he -- we were about 15 seconds before air. he was leaning back and busted his chair. we're down a chair >> seth: i think we have a shot of this. [ light laughter ] 'cause this is not something you -- [ laughter ] >> and the chair broke and the chair broke. by the way, i did nothing. and i realized today, i didn't even ask him, like, "are you okay?" [ laughter ] i go, "our chair!" [ laughter ] he's a regular on the show it's okay. >> seth: he's a regular. he'll be back. >> yeah, it's fine
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>> seth: and -- but it was -- the funny thing about the show is at commercial breaks, you kind of, as a guest, have no choice but to talk to the people they are so close to you >> i know, 'cause they're on you -- they're in your lap >> seth: hey, how you doing? they're like, "oh, good. >> exactly >> seth: are you happy i'm here? they're like, "no. [ laughter ] >> yeah, exactly >> seth: you have two -- is it two oprah chairs from the oprah studio? >> yes we bought -- it's the most expensive part of our new studio we bought two chairs from the old "oprah winfrey show" audience >> seth: so two of the 34 chairs are -- >> yes, there are vip chairs >> seth: okay. >> and they have plaques on them that say, like, "certified oprah" with her signature. "the final seas" -- not a real signature, of course >> seth: right [ light laughter ] >> but they were like, $500 each. so it was really -- we had to go to bravo and be like, "uh, can we have a thousand dollars for these chairs?" [ laughter ] >> seth: and so -- and they were like, "for all the chairs? you're like, "no, two of the chairs." [ light laughter ] >> yeah. they're like, "you're over budget now." >> seth: who sits there? who gets the oprah chairs? >> um, just vips or friends of the guests, or good-looking people, or cute people or upbeat people >> seth: gotcha. >> yeah. >> seth: and obviously if oprah came, she would be led to those immediately.
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>> well, no. she would be with me, of course, but we would want her to touch the chairs >> seth: you also -- you have a lovely dog i see you walking him all the time wacha? >> yes >> seth: and now you have a stuffed wacha for the set. >> we do, yeah that's - oh, yeah, wacha hates -- [ audience aws ] >> seth: so wacha hates stuffed wacha? >> yes, this is wacha about to rip poor little stuffed wacha apart. yeah >> seth: it must be traumatic for a dog to see another version of himself that never has to eat -- >> yes >> seth: never has to go do the bathroom >> yes >> seth: he's like, "oh, this is a real upgrade." >> i know. he is becoming my favorite dog >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> stuffed wacha he gives me no -- no lip >> seth: we were talking backstage. obviously the trump administration, there's a lot of interesting characters that are now on our tv every day. kellyanne conway, who was on this show -- >> obsessed. obsessed >> seth: and you see -- she recently said "alternative facts. >> my favorite statement ever made - [ laughter ] -- in the history of ever. [ applause ] and i -- you know, i -- i've been saying for many, many -- for a year, i was calling all the debates "housewives
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reunions." >> seth: yeah. >> because they were and the parallels to the housewives and a lot of the things that happened during the election -- there are so many. and kellyanne conway -- i am begging her to just consider a spot on the housewives >> seth: she'd be such a great housewife. >> she'd be amazing, because alternative facts -- i am waiting for them to bust it out. i'm taping the "beverly hills" reunion in a few weeks, and i'm waiting for lisa rinna to be like, "well, no, that's an alternative fact, but, you know." [ laughter ] and she -- but she reminds me -- someone tweeted me the other day and pointed out, she -- do you remember michaele salahi, who crashed the white house? >> seth: yes >> she actually also really looks like michaele salahi and interviewing her is -- i was interviewing michaele like, "did you -- were you invited to the white house? she's like, "well, i mean, you know, they told us that if we came, you know, we might be -- got in." i'm like, "okay, so were you invited? she's like, "well, when we got there, we -- you know, it's a circle. >> seth: yeah.
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[ light laughter ] >> it's amazing. >> seth: it would be - >> alternative facts [ laughter ] "were you a redskins cheerleader? "well, you know, when i cheered, i -- "oh, so you did cheer. "no, well, no. hold on. [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm not done with the circle >> yeah, right, exactly. >> seth: i'm here, and i gotta come all the way around. >> i want to make a full circle. >> seth: my dad will call me sometimes, give me feedback on my show. your mom - >> i love your parents >> seth: yeah, my parents -- >> i met them at a benefit >> seth: yeah, they -- >> they're kooky [ laughter ] >> seth: they were very excited to meet you. >> yeah. yes, i was maybe more excited to meet them. >> seth: the best is -- i don't know if your parents are like my parents, but they said, "we're going to this event that andy cohen is hosting. and i just knew, they're definitely gonna go say "hi" to andy >> oh, my god. i took a selfie with them immediately. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> i was like, "can i have a selfie with you please?" [ light laughter ] yes. >> seth: but your mom will give you feedback on your show. >> yes, she does blistering, brutal >> seth: really? >> yes, yes. never stops. last week was particularly rough becau -- i mean, literally, i'm walking off the air, and the text comes in, "disgusting!" [ laughter ] like, "gross a riot?"
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okay, and then i had three in a row that got -- literally, i thought she was never gonna -- she has told me in the past that my show has jumped the shark >> seth: right >> she's like, "no more crotch games. [ laughter ] 'cause we do a lot of crotch guessing games and such. >> seth: sure. >> and then last wednesday, neil patrick harris and b.j. novak were on, and she said, "finally a decent show [ laughter ] finally decent." yeah >> seth: that's very nice. >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: i forgot, too, that's an especially bitter pill, 'cause you're a live show, so you see it - >> right when i get off the air. >> seth: yeah. >> as i'm walking out. >> seth: my parents are like 24 hours behind, so i've moved on by the time they criticize this one >> yes, right, exactly you're over whatever funk you -- your own personal demons you might be in. yes. how's my office, by the way? >> seth: what? >> how's my office >> seth: oh, yeah, i -- i have andy's old office. >> yeah. >> seth: he used to have -- it's beautiful. >> it's good that view. >> seth: yeah, good use of the rink yeah, watch the rink all the time did you ever -- sometimes when i'm having a bad day, i will watch tourists on the ice rink, because it's only a matter of like, 30 seconds before someone takes a total header [ laughter ] >> yes
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oh, yeah, yeah, yeah >> seth: and it's really just brings me such joy [ laughter ] >> but how bad is christmastime? because not only do you have the lights from saks, which is a full on laser show that's insane, coming right at you, but then the bells from the salvation army >> seth: salvation, yeah and there's nothing worse than looking irritated at someone who's raising money for charity. [ laughter ] >> i have no problem with it >> seth: oh, you're fine with it >> i don't have a problem with it >> seth: this is nice, because now it's just the rink is like, all that's left. >> yes, but then election night, nbc goes crazy, and then they do the spotlights >> seth: do the lights again, and you feel like you're under attack i want to ask you one last thing, because sometimes when i watch your show, you will have a housewife and a celebrity. >> yes >> seth: sort of an a-list celebrity, even. >> yes >> seth: who is more excited are the celebs equally excited to meet the housewives >> usually the celebrities are more excited [ light laughter ] because the housewives are like, "oh, my god, i have someone new to tell my stuff to. [ laughter ] you know once, sarah jessica parker was in the audience once, and ramona was on i can't remember why sarah was there, but ramona was on and ramona was like, "you know what
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i am mad at dorinda. she really --" you know and sarah's like, "all right, whoa i got it." [ laughter ] >> seth: i love that they're just looking for new ears -- >> yes >> seth: -- with which to litigate old beefs >> yes that's right >> seth: that's a [ bleep ] crazy world you live in. [ laughter ] >> did you just use the f word >> seth: yeah, we're not live. they can take that out [ laughter ] [ applause ] it'll just look like this. it's a -- crazy world you live in >> wow >> seth: andy cohen, everybody "watch what happens live" with andy cohen airs sunday through thursday nights on bravo we'll be right back with retta [ cheers and applause ♪ it's not "pretty good or nothing." it's not "acceptable or nothing." and it's definitely not "close enough or nothing." mercedes-benz suvs were engineered with only one mission in mind. to be the best. in the category, in the industry, in the world. now, get 0% apr financing up to 36 months on most models and 90-day first-payment deferral
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest is an actress and comedian you know her from her work as donna meagle on the hit nbc comedy "parks and recreation." she currently stars in the series "girlfriends' guide to divorce," which airs wednesday nights on bravo. please welcome back to the show, our very good friend, retta. [ cheers and applause ♪
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>> seth: hello, retta. how are you? >> i'm good, darling how are you? >> seth: i'm good. you look wonderful you were in new york this weekend. and we were talking about this before, when you come back to new york, you like to see a few broadway shows >> i do. >> seth: how'd you do? >> i went to see "dear evan hansen. >> seth: that's great, fantastic. >> god bless ben platt >> seth: yeah. >> oh, my god. i was so stressed just watching him. he was so much -- he was working so hard. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> and then i went to see "hamilton" again [ cheers ] >> seth: and now, where are we at where are we at on "hamilton"? how many times >> five. >> seth: five times at "hamilton. [ light laughter ] and has it -- has it - >> i love it >> seth: has - [ laughter ] >> i love it >> seth: and when you go in your fifth time, does it still match your expectations for what you're expecting out of the evening? >> yes, because it's not always the same cast. >> seth: right >> so i kind of -- like, i compare and contrast who's bringing what -- >> seth: uh-huh. >> and who did what i thought they were going to do. [ light laughter ] and i was so happy because it was a completely -- not one person on stage had i seen before and i still got misty
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where i get misty. >> seth: yeah. >> i still was like, "yes! immigrants we get the job done! when they do that. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, great >> so, all of that >> seth: it's good not to -- if you do that at the wrong time -- now -- >> wait, i got this for ashe >> seth: oh, this is for my baby >> yes >> seth: oh, a "hamilton" onesie that's is fantastic. >> yes [ audience aws ] [ applause ] >> seth: he will love this now, i want to ask you about this, because i've seen some stuff on social media. you were backstage at "hamilton," and explain to me this tradition that happens backstage at "hamilton" called shots from the grammy? shots off -- >> "shots out the grammy." >> seth: "shots out the grammy." explain. >> so, daveed diggs, who played jefferson and lafayette -- >> seth: yes >> i saw that he was doing -- when they won their grammy, they were doing tequila shots like, anyone who came into his dressing room or their production office, he would have them do shots out the grammy so i got to go on lin, leslie,
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and phillipa's last night. >> seth: wow >> it was a big night. >> seth: big night >> and i -- the crew -- we were backstage, we were on stage, and i met jane fonda that night. >> seth: wow >> and made friends with troy garity, and his wife was like, "you met my mother-in-law? and i was like, "oh, have i met j -- no, i haven't met jane fonda before. [ light laughter ] so we were just chatting with people, and i saw daveed, and i' met daveed before, and i kind of know him so i went up to him. i said, "you were great as always." the only thing i regret from my run -- "my run" -- of "hamilton. [ laughter ] because i felt like i was a part of it, was that i didn't get to do shots out the grammy. he was like, "oh, let's go do that nonsense. [ laughter ] and so we went backstage and did it >> seth: i actually have video this is what it looks like when you do shots out the grammy. >> yo, with my sister from another mister retta, and she's about to do a shot out the grammy >> shots out the grammy! [ cheers and applause >> killed it
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[ laughter and applause >> it's hard doing a shot out the grammy >> seth: of all -- >> i was so happy. >> seth: of all the innovations that "hamilton" brought to our lives, shots out the grammy might be one of the finest >> just a head's up, so the -- it's a gramaphone, right so, it's, like, curved edge. >> seth: yeah. >> it was all over my top. [ laughter ] >> seth: they can always tell when people walk out of the theater with tequila here. >> yes >> seth: they're like, "you did shots out the grammy." [ light laughter ] so "girlfriends' guide to divorce," congratulations on the show >> thank you >> seth: and you started as a guest, and now you're a series regular on the show. >> yes >> seth: and tell us a little bit about your character >> barbara was abby's boss when she first got there. and they kind of butted heads at first, but became friends, became peoples, became homies. and then, by season three, which is the current season that's airing, abby gets fired and the managing boss asks barbara to take over her friend's job so she didn't want to do it, but she did it because she's -
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[ light laughter ] >> seth: it must be nice to become a series regular. you probably spend more time with cast members that you didn't get a chance to work with in the beginning >> well, by the end of season two, i was working with all the girls. but this just means i have more hours. >> seth: so that's great [ laughter ] do you like more hours or -- >> well, i like more pay >> seth: okay, got you [ laughter ] usually the two are together you're going to stick around - >> yes >> seth: because we actually went and we did some drinking during the day >> we did. >> seth: we did shots out the glass, and we're gonna show people what that looked like [ light laughter ] we'll be right back with more from retta [ cheers and applause ♪ when visible set out to create the future of phone service... we tossed the stuff that wasn't working. stuff like foot-long bills and fees from nowhere. time-wasting stores, misleading ads, unhelpful help centers. and saved the stuff that was working. like verizon's 4g lte network. plus unlimited data, messages, and minutes. it's a simple system.
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: welcome back to "late night. we're here with retta, everybody, and retta and i had last friday off. and we thought what better way to spend a friday afternoon than go into a bar -- >> cocktails >> seth: and getting hammered. [ light laughter ] we went out, and we full got hammered this is "seth and retta go day drinking." >> oh, god >> seth: hey, everybody. i'm seth that's retta and, we're going to do some day drinking with some lovely champagne. but before we drink our champagne, how about a round of shots?
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>> oh, okay. >> seth: to drinking in the day. >> cheers. ♪ ♪ hey >> seth: [ bleep ] [ light laughter ] and now let's toast 2017 ♪ here's to a happy and healthy 2017 >> here's to a happy and horny 2017 [ light laughter ] >> seth: 2017, the year my 9-month-old son finally starts pulling his [ bleep ] weight [ laughter ] >> 2017, the year my spanx continue to pull my weight [ laughter ] ♪ >> seth: well, i don't know about you, but this champagne's not quite doing it >> no. >> seth: so i'm going to chug it and head over to the bar >> okay. [ light laughter ] ♪ [ light applause ] >> seth: here we go. we've got the bar to ourselves this is what i propose we will give each other shows we love - >> okay. >> seth: and then the other person will make a drink based on that show >> mm-hmm. [ light laughter ] >> seth: oh, bartender
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>> hi, sethie. >> seth: i would love a "walking dead." >> i've got something in mind. >> seth: okay, great >> rum >> seth: rum >> bourbon >> seth: bourbon >> tequila >> seth: why not [ light laughter ] >> white wine. >> seth: white wine? >> don't judge me. [ laughter ] >> seth: white wine. >> accept it as truth. >> seth: because it is on a premium cable channel. [ light laughter ] wait, was this red wine? >> red wine? [ laughter ] >> seth: you can't put red wine and white wine in a drink. all right. >> all right >> seth: okay, fantastic you're looking like a pro. >> because you said "the walking dead," i made you a zombie >> seth: why do you call it "a zombie"? >> because after you drink this, you're gonna die [ laughter ] >> seth: here's how a good a drinker i am >> uh-huh. >> seth: i'm going to drink this awful concoction you made me, and it will not read on my face. >> okay, let's see >> seth: it will not read on my face that i've never had this before >> god bless you >> seth: ugh
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[ laughter and applause ooh. >> gin alone >> seth: oh, that should not be a drink. >> gin alone >> seth: that's growing on me. >> okay, i'm sweating. [ laughter ] okay sethie, what's your next show >> seth: keep it simple for you, network comedy make me a "big bang theory." >> rum >> seth: rum >> diet coke you want the bang. >> seth: yep >> the theory is the bang. >> seth: yes >> so, mentos. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause >> you have to work later? >> seth: oh, bazinga >> yes [ light laughter ] yes! >> seth: give me a television show, and i'll make you a drink to your liking >> "game of thrones" >> seth: "game of thrones" >> g.o.t >> seth: you got to put some ice in it -- [ beat boxing
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because winter is coming [ light laughter ] >> it's coming >> seth: i'm going to make you a drink called the white walker. >> oh, god >> seth: i'm going to put some heavy cream. [ laughter ] >> yikes >> seth: and what do white people drink malibu [ laughter ] all right, and here we go. because to make it a full "game of thrones," we're going to put in a little dry ice >> ooh >> seth: okay, here we go. >> okay. >> seth: oh, actually, you know, the other thing the white walkers have is poison [ light laughter ] ♪ [ laughter and applause ♪ that drink is poison ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ king joffrey is dead [ laughter ] ♪ >> seth: one of the things i don't like about tv these days, there are no lyrics to theme songs. >> okay. >> seth: now that we're drunk, i would like you to give me a tv show, and i'm gonna make up a theme song for it. >> "this is us." ♪ this is us nb going back and forth in history ♪ ♪ we've got a
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couple that ha three kids and we're jumping back and forth in time ♪ >> mm. [ laughter ] ♪ mandy moore mandy moore ♪ i don't want to listen with mandy moore ♪ [ light laughter ] >> "black mirror." ♪ do you like british shows that have a twist at the end like twilight zone ♪ ♪ then you should watch black mirror because we're taking apart modern technology ♪ [ laughter ] >> seth: nbc's "timeless." ♪ timeless [ cheers ] ♪ we're moving through time we are not here but back the back then back the to fight the crime ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ with houdini >> with -- who else is in the past >> seth: abraham lincoln >> lincoln wasn't on it. >> seth: lincoln should be on it >> no, but it was with houdini
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[ light laughter ] >> seth: with abraham lincoln. >> and, no, no [ light laughter ] who's the guy that was the traitor? >> seth: oh, yeah. abraham lincoln. [ laughter ] >> no. >> seth: it was benedict arnold. >> yeah, it was. it was it was ♪ with houdini an benedict arnol and abraham lincoln ♪ [ laughter ] >> they didn't do one with lincoln. >> seth: well, they should ♪ timeles back in tiiiiiiime less ♪ >> yes [ cheers and applause >> seth: okay. as a married man, i'm worried that i've lost my ability to pick up a woman in a bar >> you still need it >> seth: no, i just feel like you want to know you have it >> copy that >> seth: here's what's going to happen i'm gonna come out with you. i'm going to try to pick you up at a bar >> but you're gonna come up with me [ laughter ] >> seth: here we go. i'm going to try to pick you up. and here's the thing if the minute you think "no," i just want you to go, "meh. hey.
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have you ever been with a seven and a -- >> nope. [ laughter and applause ♪ >> seth: wassup? [ laughter ] my wife just died. [ laughter ] don't laugh. no i'm going through a really hard time >> you can't start with your wife >> seth: what? >> you can't start with your wife [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, hold on someone just died. [ laughter ] want to blow this place and play some air hockey? >> yes [ laughter ] ♪ >> seth: whoo-hoo-hoo! >> son of a bitch! >> seth: now, we're drunk enough now. i feel like you and i, right here, can solve all of the world's problems >> okay. >> seth: global warming. go solve it >> if all the girls from jersey - stopped using hair spray [ laughter ] we're good >> seth: all right how are we going to solve racial
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tension? >> oh, i know how we can solve that ♪ ♪ ebony and ivory [ cheers and applause ♪ live together in perfect ♪ >> seth: this has been "seth and retta go day drinking. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: give it up for retta, everybody! [ cheers and applause "girlfriends' guide to divorce" airs wednesday nights on bravo we'll be right back with ta-nehisi coates [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ where will you go first? will it be familiar streets? or perhaps unknown roads? wherever you may go, lexus will welcome you back with exceptional offers.
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♪ help! can't touch this. ♪ (baby cries) you can't touch this. new cheetos popcorn. when you think of a bank, you think of people in a place. but when you have the chase mobile app, your bank can be virtually any place. so, when you get a check... you can deposit it from here. and you can see your transactions and check your balance from here. you can detect suspicious activity on your account from here. and you can pay your friends back from here. so when someone asks you, "where's your bank?" you can tell them: here's my bank.
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or here's my bank. or, here's my bank. because if you download and use the chase mobile app, your bank is virtually any place. so visit chase.com/mobile. it's just that it's... lavender, yes it is. old spice, it's for men. but i like the smell of it. [music playing] ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest is a national book award recipient, best selling author, and national correspondent for "the atlantic." he wrote the wonderful cover story in the current issue of "the atlantic" entitled "my president was black. please welcome back to the show ta-nehisi coates, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: thank you for coming back on the show
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>> thanks for having me back on the show >> seth: now, congratulations on this article it's a fascinating read. i've read so much about obama over the years, and yet i found i was learning -- thinking about him in a different way after reading this article but one of the things you required was access. you sat down with him multiple times. and is it hard to get someone like president obama to agree to spend that much time with a reporter >> no, it's easy [ light laughter ] >> seth: you just call him up. >> yeah. actually, and it was hard for me specifically because i think we started trying to get this done in like, 2014. '13, '14, somewhere around then. well, because i had written things that were kind of critical >> seth: sure. >> and i had been called into these off the record sessions where he was very plain about how he felt about those things that were critical he was not pleased [ light laughter ] >> seth: right >> so, you know, it wasn't clear to me that he was going to grant that sort of access. you know what i mean
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but he read my previous book "between the world and me," really liked it. wrote me a note. we had lunch, and i asked if he would sit, you know, for a series of interviews, and he agreed to do it. >> seth: before we move on - because you spoke to him after the election, and i want to talk to you about that, but do you remember the first time you heard the name barack obama? >> yeah. it was when he was running for senate and -- i mean, it's hard for people to remember this, but before barack obama won in 2004, there had been only two black people post-reconstruction that had been in the senate edward brooke and carol moseley braun also from illinois so the idea that a black guy was running for senate and might actually win named barack obama people overlook that all the time named barack hussein obama in 2004, you know, three years after 9/11, it was stunning. >> seth: yeah. >> i mean, it was absolutely -- now that he's president, it's like whatever. senate, that was nothing [ light laughter ] but it was stunning. i was shocked. i was like, who is this dude, you know >> seth: and one of the things you talk about over the course of this article and then even
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when you spoke to him afterwards, that he has an enduring optimism about this country. and about the people in this country. >> right >> seth: certainly i think it's safe to say less optimism than you have >> probably. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. where do you think that optimism -- and more than just that optimism, but the fact that the optimism seems unflagging up to this point up to after this election >> well, i think all presidents -- well, i mean, jesus, i guess that's not true [ laughter ] i was gonna say all presidents have to be optimistic. [ laughter ] maybe not. >> seth: almost all. >> almost all. up until now and this was the thing he said, you know all presidents have -- but he had to be optimistic let's be very specific i think he had to be in order for him to be the first african-american president i think it comes out of a couple things i think not only is the president biracial, but he's actually raised by his white family in a loving home far from the fulcrum of jim crow and segregation in hawaii, not in chicago, not in new york,
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baltimore, cleveland nowhere like that. like in hawaii and remarkably by a family that did not feel this urge to make him choose told him he was black. said that was a pretty cool thing. as he said, you know, he felt his mom thought black people were cool. so he didn't grow up with the kind of self-doubt and self-questioning not only about, you know, himself, but the sort of questioning i think a lot of us do about white people and their intentions that was not -- that was always abstract to him. you know, he understood racism but as it being a personal thing, it wasn't the same. >> seth: and you talked to him afterwards, and do you think -- you know, because he still has this trust and he also had this doubt that this country could elect somebody like donald trump is that the same core that you're talking about that his upbringing did not allow him to think that a person like this could end up being elected? >> i mean, i don't think it accords with his basic theory. and that's just me speaking right now. obviously, if he were here, he would say something different. but i know that when i talked to him before, he did not think
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trump could be elected and part of why he didn't think he could be elected was his, you know, beliefs about the american people you know, he just thought that it really, really wasn't possible for folks to go -- you know, and this circles back to what we talked about you had to be optimistic you couldn't appeal so some sort of dark, you know, sense that proved to not be true >> seth: you -- i want to ask about this because i -- you talk about this idea, and i said it even on the show you know, in the early days after the election, trying to boil it down, that people who voted for him and then voted for trump, they could not be racist. and that was an idea that i shared and i realize now after reading your article, there was something reductive about that i was simplifying it talk a little bit, because you make this point that in order for a black president -- and you speak about the optimism -- like he kind of had to be the perfect candidate. >> yeah. >> seth: whereas white candidates in this country don't have to be [ light laughter ] >> i mean, every day something happens. it's like, i just can't imagine, like, a black dude as president standing in front of a memorial
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for all the cia agents who died talking about how smart he was >> seth: yeah. >> it just doesn't -- like, that guy couldn't be governor you know much less -- i mean, every day trump does -- i can't imagine a black man running for let's just say senator, you know, with a tape coming out about him bragging about having sexually harassed -- it's just not possible to imagine a black donald trump that really is the difference. it's the bar the bar is significantly higher. and just really quickly, i think it doesn't say necessarily if you voted for trump that you're a racist that doesn't necessarily have to be true. >> seth: of course not >> but what is probably true is that trump's appeals to bigotry are not disqualifying. >> seth: right >> and if you're a target of that bigotry, that would make you feel some sort of way about the fact that it's not disqualifying. >> seth: yeah, of course and i think it's fair for people to feel that about people who voted for trump. that you can say that racism is not disqualifying. >> right >> seth: and that is not insignificant.
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>> right >> seth: you wrote that you were shocked that you were shocked about the outcome of this election explain exactly what you meant by that. >> i mean, there's a part of me, you know, that i really wanted -- and want still, you know, i mean - listen, i didn't think barack obama could win like, i didn't think there could be a black president i was wrong. i was very happy to be wrong like it was like, you know, this beautiful moment you know what i mean it's like people who think -- say, who believe in global warming. if they were wrong, i'm sure they'd be very happy to be wrong. >> seth: right >> it'd be a great world to be wrong about something like that. >> seth: of course >> this, in a very, very uncomfortable way, i feel like accorded with a lot of what i had been writing and maybe i -- there's an intellectual part of me that wanted to believe it, but -- that believed it, but in my heart, i don't want -- i would much rather his view of the world be correct you know, you interview somebody for four and a half, you know, hours, you know, over several sessions, you think, "maybe they are right. >> seth: yeah. >> maybe i'm wrong you know, and then what happened happened >> seth: yeah.
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and it was not a great night to be right >> no. no, no, no i was not going around crowing >> seth: yeah. >> you know what i mean? >> seth: one of the things that i am a big fan of is the different things you do with your career. you write a piece like this. we talked about this last time you were about to embark on writing "black panther" for marvel comics. you've had an incredible run i'm so glad you do it. and you've got a new one coming out "black panther and crew. >> right >> seth: and this one takes place in harlem? >> it does >> seth: that's fantastic. >> yeah. it's awesome. >> seth: and how has the -- because you were about to start last time you were here. how is it balancing sort of the very heavy stuff you work on and then also spending time -- although it should be noted, you have some heavy themes >> right, right, right >> seth: this is not the lightest comic book either [ light laughter ] at least the nice thing is you send it off and someone draws pictures that must be nice. >> right [ light laughter ] it's fun, it's exciting. you know what's interesting? for much of my career i've written about, you know, force of racism. these very heavy, divisive issues it is nothing compared to the response you get when you write comic books.
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[ light laughter ] the intensity of people who care about -- i've never seen anything like it >> seth: is it a nice intensity? have you enjoyed it so far >> sometimes it's nice [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> sometimes it's really nice. i mean, because if they love you, they really, really love you. >> seth: right >> but if they don't, you are the worst thing that ever happened period >> seth: well, let's just hope in our political culture, we never get quite so ramped up that we're into comic book world. >> right >> seth: thank you so much for being back on the show >> thanks for having me. [ cheers and applause >> seth: such a pleasure talking to you ta-nehisi coates, everybody. you can read his cover story in the current issue of "the atlantic" magazine and on theatlantic.com. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ♪ if history has taught us anything, it's that we can get through...anything. and that beer sometimes helps. so, coors light is buying.
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go to @coorslight on twitter to send someone a six pack on us. cause man, we could all use one right now.
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[ cheers and applause >> seth: my thanks to andy cohen, retta, ta-nehisi coates, everybody!
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darren king, the 8g band we'll see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> daniel: tonight on "a little late with lilly singh" - >> lilly: you know you had a good time when you wake up and go, "oh, my god. did i have sex with me last night? [ laughter ] >> daniel: and - >> lilly: i love indian food [ laughter ] what they meant was, i'm a hollywood executive and i don't know what else to say to you, lilly. >> daniel: plus -- >> lilly: aisha tyler and rob huebel at any point i want to change the story, i'm going to hit this bell [ ding ] >> well we started going out after that, and one thing led to another. [ laughter ] we're talking about sex. [ ding ] just being friends [ ding ] i'm talking about now, we are cops we're cops >> daniel: coming up ♪

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