Skip to main content

tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  October 28, 2019 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

11:35 pm
the late show is coming up next. tomorrow morning at 4:30 am. captioning sponsored by cbs >> now to the world series where president trump watched last night's game from a luxury suite at nationals park in washington where he received what you would call less than a warm welcome from many people in the crowd. >> welcome back to the world series, game number five. american servicemen and women getting a rousing welcome from this patriotic crowd. and there's president trump -- ( booing ) oh, there seems to be some booing from a few rowdy fans. ( chanting ) >> and now the crowd is chanting from what i can only imagine is a passionate minority, so
11:36 pm
passionate i can barely hear myself talk. oh, now the crowd has burst into song. let's take a listen. ♪ ♪ ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert. tonight, stephen welcomes queen latifah and radhika jones, featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪
11:37 pm
>> stephen: hi there! welcome! ( cheers and applause ) whoo! thanks, everybody! welcome one and all! welcome to "the late show." ladies and gentlemen, i'm your host stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) you know, americans rarely hear good news out of the middle east, but yesterday, we got some: the president announced that u.s. special forces killed isis leader and guy clearly rationing his "just for men," abu bakr al-baghdadi. ( laughter ) al-baghdadi was a notorious terrorist responsible for the death of thousands. a true monster. so i'd like to congratulate all
11:38 pm
the brave service members in our special forces who risked their lives and got the job done. ( cheers and applause ) just take your time with that. no rush! ( cheers and applause ) and here's the thing -- i'd also like to congratulate president donald j. trump, but he just makes it so hard. ( laughter ) because when he broke the news yesterday, trump's entire press conference was about himself. >> last night, the united states brought the world's number one terrorist leader to justice. from the first day i came to office-- and now we're getting close to three years-- i would say, "where's al-baghdadi? i want al-baghdadi." they'd come in, "sir, we have somebody under--" i said, "i don't want somebody. i want al-baghdadi. that's the one i want." >> stephen: yeah, trump was
11:39 pm
obsessed. you might say he had "al baghdadi" issues. ( laughter ) ( applause ) then, trump started describing al baghdadi's last moments, and things got pretty graphic. >> he reached the end of the tunnel, as our dogs chased him down. he ignited his vest. his body was mutilated by the blast. to get to his body, they had to remove a lot of debris because the tunnel had collapsed. there wasn't much left. the-- the vest blew up, but there are still substantial pieces that they brought back. ( laughter ) >> stephen: do we really need
11:40 pm
to know that at 9:00 a.m. on a sunday? ♪ the best part of waking up is hearing how the guy blew up ♪ ( piano riff ) ( cheers and applause ) then trump bragged about how important this event was. >> this was the big one. this is the biggest one, perhaps, that we've ever captured, because this is the one that built isis. this is the biggest there is. this is the worst ever. osama bin laden was very big, but osama bin laden became big with the world trade center. >> stephen: i remember. yeah. ( laughter ) pretty sure that's why they shot him. ( laughter ) you know how i know that killing bin laden was a big deal? because obama never had to say killing bin laden was a big deal. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) it was. a big deal. so is this. it was very big. this was very big, don't get me
11:41 pm
wrong. killing baghdadi was a big deal. it was bigger than the bin laden announcement in one way -- length. trump delivered a 50-minute performance, compared to obama's nine-minute speech. and, keep in mind, that was obama, so four minutes of it was "ahhhh, look." ( laughter ) >> jon: got the tone, got the tone! >> stephen: barack obama. barack obama, there you go. ( cheers and applause ) barack obama. then trump described al baghdadi's death, using one of his favorite metaphors. >> he died like a dog. he died like a coward. he died like a dog, he died like a coward. >> stephen: ah, yes. i remember when i was a child, my dog mr. fluffles got sick, so we did the humane thing: gave him a suicide vest and chased him down a tunnel.
11:42 pm
( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: i remember that part. >> stephen: i'm afraid he's exploded a farm upstate. ( laughter ) i don't know what's wrong with this guy. it wouldn't be a trump press conference or trump anything without some shameless self-promotion. >> you know, if you read my book-- there was a book just before the world trade center came down. and i don't get any credit for this, but that's okay. i never do, but here we are. i wrote a book-- a, really, very successful book. and in that book, about a year before the world trade center was blown up, i said, "there is somebody named osama bin laden. you better kill him or take him out." something to that effect. "he's big trouble." >> stephen: no, you didn't. ( laughter ) you didn't do that at all. you didn't say that at all.
11:43 pm
not even close. we looked. we looked. we looked at your 2000 book, "the america we deserve," and you make a passing mention of bin laden who, you say, bill clinton had already tried to kill. so you were predicting something that everyone already knew. (as trump) "in my next book, i predict you'll be hearing big things from this 'taylor swift.' she's really going places. ( laughter ) time to take her out. no one listens, it's okay. shake it off." ( laughter ) ( piano riff ) ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: come on! ( cheers and applause ) haters gonna hate. shake it off. >> stephen: trump did give
11:44 pm
i.s.i.s. credit for their internet prowess, sort of: >> they use the internet better than almost anybody in the world, perhaps other than donald trump. ( laughter ) >> stephen: yes, true. donald trump's a master of the internet. and he proved it on saturday when he tweeted simply, and i'm not making this up, "dot, dot, dot, dot." ( cheers and applause ) "botdot, dot, dot, dot." now, that might seem stupid, but if you read between the lines, it's idiotic. dot, dot. dot, dot. trump also found time to talk about the operation. >> they did a lot of blasting even not going through the front door. you know, you would think you go through the door. if you're a normal person, you say, "knock, knock. may i come in?" the fact is that they blasted their way into the house and a very heavy wall, and it took
11:45 pm
them literally seconds. >> stephen: good point, if you were a normal person, you would think that special forces hunting the world's most wanted terrorist would go up to the front door and say, "knock, knock, may i come in?" ( laughter ) ( applause ) we've seen it in all the best, in every movie. >> jon: all the movies. >> stephen: all the movies, they do this. >> jon: that's what they do every time. >> stephen: we've seen it in all the war movies -- (as general) "alright, men, move out! you know the plan. brooklyn, kowalski, mickey, surround the house and lay down suppression fire power. and then, jackson, you haul ass to that front door, and you say "knock, knock. may i come in?" ( laughter ) if no one answers, leave one of those sticky notes that say we tried to make a delivery of bullets to your body, sorry we missed you, we will be back tomorrow between 10:00 and 4:00!" "move out! let's go!" ( piano riff )
11:46 pm
( cheers and applause ) come on! ( piano riff ) ( cheers and applause ) see how trump makes it so hard to congratulate him? he could just come out and say, "we got him. thank you to our brave troops for bringing this man to justice, but the fight's not over. vigilance!" and leave. easy peasy, no impeachy ( cheers and applause ) he ruins the moment. instead, he basically says, "let me drop trow, to give everybody in late night plenty of flank to spank." ( laughter ) sorry about that image. i apologize for the image. trump also made sure to thank one of america's strongest allies in the region: >> i also want to thank the syrian kurds for certain support they were able to give us. >> stephen: and remember they did this even after trump's decision to withdraw american
11:47 pm
troops left the syrian kurds to confront a turkish offensive alone. that's truly going above and beyond. it's like your ex volunteering to help you move your waterbed, after you cheated on her and forced her to fight the turkish army alone. ( laughter ) then trump defended his pullout of troops from syria with one exception -- >> we're out. but we are leaving soldiers to secure the oil. and we may have to fight for the oil. we should be able to take some also. and what i intend to do, perhaps, is make a deal with an exxon mobil or one of our great companies to go in there and do it properly. >> stephen: shhh-shhh! you're not supposed to say that out loud. ix-nay on the ood-blay for oil-may. that's why we call these missions things, "operation desert storm," or "operation iraqi freedom," not, "operation: i drink your milk shake.
11:48 pm
money, money, money, ka-ching!" ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) we've got a great show for you tonight. queen latifah is here. but when we return, trump strikes out at the world series. stick around! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) panera's new baja warm grain bowl is full of good. full of tasty, good for you ingredients. fresh and filling. so that you too will be full of good. try our new warm grain bowls today. order now on ubereats. can match the power of energizer. because energizer ultimate lithium is the longest lasting aa battery in the world. [confetti cannon popping] energizer. backed by science.
11:49 pm
matched by no one. the game can be rough on skin... ...rehydrate and strengthen your skin... ...to bounce back ... ... and rebound strong. ♪ dove men+care sportcare rehydrates and strengthens skin. charmin ultra soft! it's softer than ever. charmin ultra soft is softer than ever, so it's harder to resist. okay, this is getting a little weird! enjoy the go with charmin. goodreally? (sighs) have you tried merrick yet? we get it... you got it... we're petsmart.
11:50 pm
i suff...for so long.asis... it was kind of a shock after i started cosentyx... ...i wasn't covered anymore. i'm not constantly thinking about it. i'm still clear five years now. see me. cosentyx works fast to give you clear skin that can last. real people with psoriasis... ...look and feel better with cosentyx. don't use if you're allergic to cosentyx. before starting... ...get checked for tuberculosis. an increased risk of infections and lowered ability... ...to fight them may occur. tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms,... ...if your inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop... ...or worsen... ...of if you've had a vaccine, or plan to. serious allergic reactions may occur. i look and feel so much better. see me. ask your dermatologist if cosentyx could help you move past the pain of psoriasis.
11:51 pm
11:52 pm
♪ ♪ ♪ the holidays begin here at the disneyland resort. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, welcome back! give it up for the band, everybody! jon batiste and "stay human"! ( cheers and applause )
11:53 pm
jon, just moments from now, jon, we have royalty joining us! >> jon: that's right. >> stephen: queen latifah is going to be here! ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: come on! >> stephen: i can't believe this at this stage of my vaunted career, i have never met queen latifah. this is going to be a big night for me. have you met her? >> no, we did a show together. the louis gates show. now i get to see her in person! >> stephen: i'm looking forward to tomorrow night our friend jennifer aniston is going to be here. ( cheers and applause ) and i saw our friend, though i have never met her. seems like we might be friends. >> jon: yeah, i get the reference. i get it. >> stephen: yeah, yeah. ( laughter ) you know, before john and i were talking, there was a commercial break, and before the commercial break, i was there standing right over there, telling jokes, and i was telling you jokes
11:54 pm
about how trump announced the raid that killed al baghdadi. the president was feeling so good that, last night, he attended game five of the world series between the washington nationals and houston astros. one of those teams will soon have the greatest honor in sports: trump's pile of cold filet o' fishes. ( cheers and applause ) this is rare for him to go out like this. it's been a long time since trump faced anything other than a crowd of handpicked supporters. and i have a feeling it's going to be a while until he does it again, because it didn't go that well. the crowd starts off cheering our troops and then trump gets introduced: ( cheers and applause ) ( booing )
11:55 pm
>> stephen: the president of the united states got booed while watching the national pastime. ( cheers and applause ) that is like getting kicked in the nuts by an apple pie. ( laughter ) a great american moment. a great american moment. made me proud. and the crowd add more for trump than just boos. they also had their own twist on one of his favorite chants. >> lock him up! lock him up! ( audience chanting look him up!) >> stephen: wow, yes! yes! yes! yes, they agreed with you! they want to lock him up! put him away for life,
11:56 pm
or one baseball game, whichever feels longer. ( laughter ) but there was one person the crowd was delighted to see throw out the first pitch: superstar chef, friend of the show, and baseball santa claus, chef jose andres. andres was recently nominated for a nobel peace prize, and was honored by the invite, tweeting "thank you nationals, m.l.b., and astros for inviting an immigrant to throw first pitch in a game full of immigrants!" ( cheers and applause ) so the nationals invited an immigrant and vocal trump critic to a game where they knew our anti-immigrant president would be. that's like going to a concert and hearing -- (announcer) "ladies and gentlemen, we're almost ready to begin our avengers movie marathon. but first, please welcome your host for the evening, martin scorsese!" ( laughter ) but jose nailed it. look how happy he is. he even capped it off with a
11:57 pm
sweet pair of hot pink sunglasses. those aren't just for style. right after the game, he threw out the first song at an elton john concert. ( laughter ) that's good. ( cheers and applause ) jose's organization world central kitchen feeds people in disaster stricken areas, and they just surpassed handing out 1.5 million meals just in the bahamas, which is still recovering from hurricane dorian. ( cheers and applause ) and to that end, remember our book? "whose boat is this boat?" ( cheers and applause ) comments that don't help in the aftermath of a hurricane." it's made up exclusively of super-dumb things donald trump actually said right after a hurricane. proceeds from the book go toward hurricane relief, and with the
11:58 pm
help of our friends at simon and schuster, it has raised a ton of money. the latest round of proceeds come to over $76,000. and we're giving all of that to jose's relief efforts in the bahamas. ( cheers and applause ) things are still incredibly hard for people in the abacos. if you want to help too, go to wck.org and give generously. or buy the book. christmas is coming up. it's a great stocking stuffer, provided your stockings are really wide and flat. when we come back, i preview this year's new holiday movies. stick around. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) here's a good halloween trick. buy a bunch of reese's. (uh huh, there you go) turn off all the lights in your house. (yeah yeah) ( trick or treat!) and then just don't answer the door.
11:59 pm
not sorry, reese's. [ "turn around, look at me" ♪ there is someone ♪ walking behind you ♪ turn around ♪ look at me ♪ there is someone ♪ look at me mmm. (chef) ah-hem. hvr seasoning. table 7. the holidays are here. welc(audience cheering)ight. i love your material. so warm and cozy. and festive. - what material are you talking about? - and we're out of time!
12:00 am
go mad for plaid with up to fifty percent off storewide. that's up to fifty percent off. at old navy. fishrisotto. buffalo. (buffalo wild wings) gelato. cheesecake. (cheesecake factory) grilled steak. clam bake. milkshake. brussels sprout. sauerkraut. fresh-caught trout. alfalfa sprout. curry. fried turkey. mcflurry. (mcdonald's) cacciatori. chimichurri. ad-lib: (inhale) spiral ham. blackberry jam. rack of lamb. candied yams. pokes. smokeys. gnocchis. and them banging raviolis. we are america's kitchen. doordash. every flavor welcome. we are literally going to hogwarts right now. this is unexpected. ahhhh! whoaaa! [ exasperated sigh ] this is incredible. we just got off hagrid, and it is by far the best ride... this is universal. [visceral laugh and scream] home of tripadvisor's number one park in the world - so come join us.
12:01 am
get our third park free and enjoy all three parks from $53 a day. (smoke alarm) ♪
12:02 am
annoepidemic fueled by juul use with their kid-friendly flavors. san francisco voters stopped the sale of flavored e-cigarettes. but then juul, backed by big tobacco, wrote prop c to weaken e-cigarette protections. the san francisco chronicle reports prop c is an audacious overreach, threatening to overturn the ban on flavored products approved by voters. prop c means more kids vaping. that's a dangerous idea. vote no on juul. no on big tobacco. no on prop c. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing )
12:03 am
>> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back, folks! it's three days 'til halloween, and you know what that means -- it's time to start celebrating christmas! ( laughter ) at least it is over at the hallmark channel because, this past weekend, they already kicked off their "countdown to christmas." it's a non-stop marathon of hallmark christmas movies like "marry me at christmas," "finding santa," "the christmas cottage," and "christmas at holly lodge," which was originally titled, "look! we photoshopped in a black woman!" ( laughter ) and this year, hallmark is cranking out no less than 40 new christmas movies. but they have a challenger, because this weekend, the lifetime network began airing 30 of their own original holiday movies in order to go toe-to-toe with hallmark. that's right, it's a full-blown "christmas war." which, tragically, is not the title of any of their 70 new movies.
12:04 am
( laughter ) christmas movies. christmas. there you go. we'll get it out. ( applause ) clearly, there's a huge market for new christmas movies and i'm not going to let these networks hog all the nog. so, this year, "the late show" is also producing it's own sure-to-be christmas classics. take a look. >> this holiday season, get ready to fall in love! >> oh, gosh! i'm so sorry. i'm in a rush. i have to get these candy canes to the afternoonage before christmas. >> because miracles happen when you least expect them. >> she's not like other girls. she loves christmas. >> and you can't spell love without christmas. >> you made it. candy canes for everyone. >> also, we're adopting all of you. merry christmas! >> a candy cane family.
12:05 am
but "the late show" is not stopping there. get ready for a gingerbread wedding. >> i to. ( laughter ) >> mittens for a prince. san ata goes hawaiian. >> a hula dancer, on surf board, on -- you get the idea. >> and, of course -- honey, what's that smell? the christmas gas leak. those other networks think they have a lot of christmas movies? pitch, please. we've also got the crimes time, a stocking for judah. dr. christmas. rudolph's bad day. a very puppy christmas. an even puppier christmas. an extremely puppy christmas. the eggnog mystery. the mighty wreath, a christmas delivery, and family favorite ornament the holiday elf. want us to stop? too bad. todd christmas esquire.
12:06 am
the last snow angel. eggnog mysteries two. the eggnog mysteries strike back. the reindeer brigade. bells, bells, bells, bells. the eggnog mysteries 5 through 1. a very christmas. fog dog saves christmas. happy holidays. >> very good. weekend at santa's mistletoe junction, the eggnog mysteries four, oops, we forgot that one. miracle on 34th avenue about j.c. penney. the eggnog mysteries after dark. white christmas, ready to kringle. the christmas barista. and over 900 more, plus the two holiday classic -- >> she's not like other girls. she loves christmas. >> uh-huh. a christmas movie for christmas. the movie. >> this is pretty good. "the late show" christmas
12:07 am
collection. susuck it, hallmark. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: we'll be right back with queen latifah. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. they release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. tylenol®. for fast pain relief. emreplenished,d, fortified. emerge everyday with emergen-c.
12:08 am
packed with b vitamins, electrolytes, antioxidants, plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. why not feel this good every day? emerge and see. i can'twhat? ve it. that our new house is haunted by casper the friendly ghost? hey jill! hey kurt! movies? i'll get snacks! no, i can't believe how easy it was to save hundreds of dollars on our car insurance with geico. i got snacks! ohhh, i got popcorn, i got caramel corn, i got kettle corn. am i chewing too loud? believe it! geico could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. o♪ ozempic®! ♪ oh! oh! (announcer) people with type 2 diabetes are excited about the potential of once-weekly ozempic®. in a study with ozempic®, a majority of adults lowered their blood sugar and reached an a1c of less than 7 and maintained it. oh! under 7? (announcer) and you may lose weight. in the same one-year study, adults lost on average up to 12 pounds.
12:09 am
oh! up to 12 pounds? (announcer) a two-year study showed that ozempic® does not increase the risk of major cardiovascular events like heart attack, stroke, or death. oh! no increased risk? (announcer) ozempic® should not be the first medicine for treating diabetes, or for people with type 1 diabetes or diabetic ketoacidosis. do not share needles or pens. don't reuse needles. do not take ozempic® if you have a personal or family history of medullary thyroid cancer, multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if you are allergic to ozempic®. stop taking ozempic® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, itching, rash, or trouble breathing. serious side effects may happen, including pancreatitis. tell your doctor if you have diabetic retinopathy or vision changes. taking ozempic® with a sulfonylurea or insulin may increase the risk for low blood sugar. common side effects are nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach pain, and constipation. some side effects can lead to dehydration, which may worsen kidney problems. i discovered the potential with ozempic®. ♪ oh! oh! oh! ozempic®! ♪
12:10 am
(announcer) if eligible, you may pay as little as $25 per prescription. ask your health care provider today about once-weekly ozempic®.
12:11 am
( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back! >> jon: there you go. >> stephen: la la la.
12:12 am
ladies and gentlemen, my first guest is a grammy and emmy award winner who next week stars in "the little mermaid live!" she is entertainment royalty. please welcome to "the late show," queen latifah! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> damn, man! that's a bad, bad band, man! >> stephen: they are. they sound amazing, don't they? ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: so nice to meet you. jon and i were talking before, i can't believe i've never met you before. >> i can't either.
12:13 am
i don't feel like that's ever happened. we've had to at least been in the same place somewhere. >> stephen: no, i would remember meeting the queen. >> i can't remember but i feel like i know you, i have been watching you for so long, right you just feel like -- >> stephen: we have been watching you for a long time, too. you have been the queen for 30 years because this year is the 30th anniversary. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: so all hail the queen! you still got it! >> that's right. >> stephen: that looks like you're waiting for an eagle to land on your arm or a falcon or something like that. >> i was. a couple of fourth of julys ago i actually did land there. >> stephen: november 28th, 1989 is when that album came out. what are you doing to celebrate? >> 1989! another summer! sorry, i went into some public enemy. had a flashback. >> stephen: are you going to
12:14 am
have any parties? >> thirty years, somebody needs to be throwing me a party! >> stephen: let's do it right now. >> hey! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: there you go. man, i mean, come on, i have been representing the women for 30 years! >> stephen: there we go. ( cheers and applause ) >> you seem pretty good at this. >> stephen: oh, i was a waiter. >> look at that! >> stephen: i was a waiter for a long time, man. did you ever wait tables? what was your toughest job you ever had? >> wait tables, you mean when i worked at burger king? >> stephen: did you work the counter or the fry station? what did you do? >> they never let me get to the counter. i would probably come home with $500 a week, easily. >> stephen: in tips? yep! and the wrong kind of tips. no, i was making burgers. >> stephen: mmm. i thought you was cool, man. >> stephen: what did i do?
12:15 am
i know you ain't whipping out no beniets on me. what is that? >> stephen: it's -- what do they call them? zepolis. you don't like these? >> you just don't do that. you just don't whip out -- zepolis are like beniets. you don't come out your back pocket with a beniet on somebody with a hot beniet or zepoli/funnel cake and champagne. >> stephen: why? becausely eat that whole plate! you know what mean? and we'll have to work it off. >> stephen: and powdered sugar all over. >> which would be kind of then you. >> stephen: it will be. we'll save it for the end. let's earn it. >> it is the "late show." >> stephen: when you were 19 years old, how did you foresee your career? because you've had extraordinary -- you are in the middle of an extraordinary
12:16 am
career. i mean, you've got an emmy, you've got a grammy, you have been nominated for an oscar, you're about to do th the live e mermaid live. what do you plan to be doing? >> i plan to be doing stuff. i plan to be doing stuff for a long time. the world was my oyster at 19. it was like the record dropped, people were receiving it well, i was touring and performing all over the country, around the world, opening up for people. i was still a baby act, so... >> stephen: did you ever imagine you would be getting the web dubois medal? that's extraordinaire. ( cheers and applause ) >> yeah, see that right there is worth toasting to. >> stephen: in the past to mia an looks, mohamed ali, oprah.
12:17 am
>> my favorite athlete, mohamed ali. >> stephen: maya angelou, her favorite athlete. >> yeah, i know. she would have laughed at that. >> stephen: i hope so. i think she would have. i loved her, too. she was amazing. i would just talk to her sometimes on the phone. >> stephen: did you really just call up maya angelou and talk? >> yeah, she used to have a radio show. so i called in one time so i had her number. she would do it from her house down south. so every once in a while i would talk to her on the phone. it was the most lovely thing in the world. >> stephen: what sort of things would you talk about because she's a giant? >> just normal things. just she would always be very proud of you. i could see why oprah looked at her like a mother figure because she was very loving, very kind, generous and, you know, she always had -- see, me at 19 at that age, that year, people doubted hip-hop. they doubted us.
12:18 am
they didn't think we could accomplish the things we were trying to do. somebody like maya angelou would have been, like, yeah, you keep doing that, that's great, go for it! so there are people like that that supported us back then and i just think she is always tbhant kind of person. and she would be that for any kid now. you would be, like, what are they doing and saying? she would be you just let them say what they say. that's our job. we've got to let the youth do what they do. >> stephen: we've got a lot of visual aids tonight. >> they're all good. >> stephen: this is pretty exciting. that's amazing. you are playing ursula in -- >> ursula. >> stephen: "the little mermaid live!" over on abc. first of all, does the live make you nervous at all? >> well, this is live, you know. they're live. you know the feeling when it's
12:19 am
live! ( cheers and applause ) i didn't get into this game not to do live. >> stephen: we're not broadcasting right now. if for some reason -- and it would never happen -- if i would make a mistake in the monologue, i could restart and do it again, but it's never happened, i've never made a mistake, but we could fix it. you can't fix a mistake when you're really live. >> that's true, because i could literally say -- i'm not going to say it. but you could edit that. ( laughter ) you know what, it's terrifying, it's exhilarating, it's exciting. >> stephen: and an incredible part, too. >> but there's a part that's missing when you're not live. see, when you're live, we're all in this together. it's not just me. i'm feeding off of them, they're giving me energy. >> stephen: oh, no, they're a big part of the show. >> we're going to have 500 people in the audience. >> stephen: oh, you have live audiences, too. >> this is being shot completely differently, yes. thank you. it's all of us. they know the feeling.
12:20 am
you're going to have 500 people in the audience as the movie plays, and every time it goes to a live song, a song in the movie, it would be performed live. so that's the different thing that's happening with this that we've never done at anything else i've done before. >> stephen: no understudy? no understudy to my knowledge. i might have to kind of nip her in the pinky toe if i find out because she's not getting my job. you're not getting my job. i'm going to come in there and i'm going to shut ursula down. ( cheers and applause ) ( maniacal laughing ) >> you've got to watch it on tuesday! >> stephen: cheers. cheers. >> stephen: to the queen, everybody! to the queen! "the little mermaid live!" airs tuesday move 5 on abc. queen latifah, everybody! we'll be right back with "vanity fair"'s editor-in-chief radhika jones!
12:21 am
( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) ♪ (dramatic orchestra) performance comes in lots of flavors. there's the amped-up, over-tuned, feeding-frenzy-of sheet-metal-kind. and then there's performance that just leaves you feeling better as a result. that's the kind lincoln's about. ♪ (paul) (sprintern)at special time it's iphone season at sprint. (paul) switch and get... (sprintern) the new iphone 11 or iphone 11 pro with amazing all-new camera systems. and now you can get iphone 11 (paul) ...for zero-dollars a month when you trade in your iphone7 or newer in any condition.
12:22 am
(sprintern) seriously, any condition! (paul) and with sprint's 100% total satisfaction guarantee you can try out the network and see the savings for yourself. (sprintern) can i get a... [air horn beep] it's iphone season. hey paul, do you love it? (paul) yeah. (sprintern) do you love it? (paul) i do. for people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay.com. ♪ magnum ice cream double caramel. now in ice cream tubs and bars. i think the house is changing him... -[ gasps ] -up and at 'em! ...into his father. [ eerie music plays ] is it scary? -[ gasps ] -it's in eco mode. so don't touch it. mm-hmm. i can't stop this from swinging. must be a draft in here. but he did save a bunch of money bundling our home and auto with progressive. progressive can't protect you from becoming your parents, but we can protect your home and auto when you bundle with us. -hello? -sorry, honey. [ telephone beeps ] butt dial.
12:23 am
12:24 am
( cheers and applause ) ( band playing )
12:25 am
12:26 am
12:27 am
( cheers and applause ) ( band playing )
12:28 am
>> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back! ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is the editor-in-chief of "vanity fair." please welcome, radhika jones! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) >> stephen: nice to see you again. how you been is this. >> i'm good. no champagne i see. >> stephen: no. we have cocktails. we have a full bar back here if you want a drink. we've got it all. >> fantastic. anytime. >> stephen: i'm not joking. ( laughter ) i got jennifer lawrence cronked right there in that seat. i have a bone to pick with you.
12:29 am
here's the bone pick. you're constantly making lists. new establish meant, hot hollywood, best dresseds. i am notal on any of these lists. i work very hard at being hot and establishing myself as new and the suits aren't cheap. what have i got to do? >> these lists are put together by science. ( laughter ) >> stephen: the science of listmaking. >> they're very scientific, so i can't really put my thumb on the scale. we put all the names in the machine and they come out. >> stephen: a computer, garbage in, garbage out, as they say. >> big data. >> stephen: yes. ouch. so -- >> stephen: is this quantum supremacy? is this what google recently achieved to figure out who's hot and not? >> such a fancy name, we have been doing it longer than they have. so i'll give you tips.
12:30 am
we're in the news business, so we need things to be new, right? you just re-upped your contract, you got the same job for years and years. that's not new, so you can't really -- ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: i have a new guest. >> all right. ( applause ) ( laughter ) >> stephen: all right, okay, i'll do my best. i've got to quit cbs. keep going. i haven't signed yet. >> i think where you can break through is best dressed. >> stephen: okay. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) >> stephen: all right! right? >> so, you know, you're nailing the classic look, right. >> stephen: thank you. but these are adventurous and experimental time in men's fashion and, you know, you might pick a new role model for the
12:31 am
year like billy porter, change it up. >> stephen: billy porter and i have gone over there and "vogued" with each other. you wouldn't know it because it's not on your list. ( laughter ) >> all right. >> stephen: you have a new book you've edited "women on women" and what's in this book? >> this is a collection from the "vanity fair" archive, pieces and profiles about women by women. ( cheers and applause ) yes, thank you. >> stephen: how far back does this go? >> it goes back to the '80s. what happened is i thought of this idea my first week on the job. it was december of 2017, and it was, like, two and a half months after the harvey weinstein story had broken. you remember that time, it was relentless, we were hearing day after day stories of women coming out of the woodwork saying my workplace was toxic or this guy derailed my career but
12:32 am
it was harvey and it was a lot of others things. i started to think, wow, it's becoming apparent whether you're an actor or working in a factory, how often women's careers and women's identities are framed by men and presented in a male perspective. i thought i'm at this magazine that actually has an incredible legacy of putting female journalists and female writers on female subjects, and why not champion that and put some of them together in a collection? ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: i'm also not on this list right here. >> i know. i can explain that. >> stephen: i can understand that one. also one other thing you're quite famous for is the "vanity fair" is famous for their oscar party, a big responsibility every year, the editor takes that over. how is the planning going so far this year?
12:33 am
>> so we actually just shot our cover this past weekend in los angeles which is exciting, so we are now in, like, full gear planning mode and, on that note, actually, stephen, the last time i was here, we had a talk about the oscar party, and you said you hadn't been invited. >> stephen: this is true. which was not true. ( laughter ) >> stephen: i have never received an invitation. how about that? >> so, in front of america, right here, i would like to invite you and your wife to the oscar party. you are the first person to be invited to the 2020 -- ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) >> stephen: very nice. radhika jones invites mr. and mrs. stephen colbert for dinner to celebrate the 92nd academy awards sunday february 9, 2020. black tie. i own one of those. i accept.
12:34 am
>> thank you, stephen. >> stephen: "vanity you know when you're at ross and you find a deal on cookware that makes you say. yes! ...oh, yeah! bring on the holidays! that's yes for less. everything you need to prep, cook and serve up the season. it feels even better when you find it for less-at ross. yes for less.
12:35 am
12:36 am
and you get first dibs on that brand... ...at that price? that's yes for less. seriously, get the fall brands and styles you love and save 20 to 60% off department store prices. at ross. yes for less. >> stephen: that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be jennifer aniston and thomas middleditch. now stick around for james corden. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org
12:37 am
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late, late show

208 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on