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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  December 2, 2009 12:35am-1:35am EST

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>> jimmy: so, you go -- yeah. >> but, you know, i'm a man, you know. so i take the check when it comes. pretty chivalrous of me, right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i look at it, and i go -- "me lady." >> jimmy: where did you shoot this? you shoot that in l.a.? >> yeah, we shoot "ghosts" out there in l.a. >> jimmy: you call it "ghosts"? yeah, that's to be cool. "we shoot 'ghosts.'" >> jimmy: we don't say "the whisperer." it saves us time. [ laughter ] we call it "ghosts." >> we call it 'the whisp." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "yeah, we're gonna shoot 'g-whisps' for another couple weeks. see what happens." where do you shoot "g-whisps"? >> we shoot -- [ laughter ] we shoot "the whispy" -- no, it's in l.a. >> jimmy: oh, los angeles is fun. >> it is. it's weird. i was thinking -- they were asking about rituals i do. and i'm a big coffee drinker. i go to starbucks every day. >> jimmy: really? >> you know what it's like everyday when you go to starbucks?
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like, women, they walk in. and they all wear those sweat pants and they have writing on their butts. you know, and it like, says "juicy"? >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] >> you know, and it totally, like, teases us guys. because we're sitting in the corner eating biscotti like gollum from "lord of the rings." like -- [ laughter ] and we're like, [ imitating gollum ] "juicy, i wish this was juicy!" [ laughter ] it's like -- but that wasn't bad enough, right? now the words got, like, so provocative now. now it says like, "lucky," "sexy," "pink." >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> "pink!" we get it. [ laughter ] but i think it's not fair for us. i think that we -- >> jimmy: no, i don't -- i'm happily married. i don't even -- >> you're happily -- oh, thanks, throw me under the bus! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no -- >> so, i'm saying, shouldn't we have our own -- i want to start a line of sweat pants for guys with writing on the front. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> it just says, "package." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: no, no, no. >> "the other white meat." i don't know. >> jimmy: no, no. >> is that going to get edited out? >> jimmy: no, we're up till late. >> okay, good. >> jimmy: they're fine. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: dude, you just shot a stand-up special for comedy central. that's awesome. >> yeah, it was awesome. it was a lot of fun. >> jimmy: do you have a name for it? >> i don't know, actually. we're really looking at it. i do all of these different bits, and talk about girls, how -- when they're drunk, they [ cheers and applause ] always say [ slurring speech ] "i'm a good girl." [ laughter ] you're laughing a little hard. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ slurring speech ] "i'm a good girl." >> you know, [ slurring speech ] "i'm a good girl." [ laughter ] but i was thinking of this calling it "jamie kennedy: i'm a good girl." [ laughter ] that would be weird, you know what i mean? >> jimmy: yeah, i don't know if people are gonna pronounce -- you have to spell it out, yeah. so you have the special. it's going to be big. where did you shoot it, in los angeles? >> we shot it in o.c., which is
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orange county. but i think you call it overly caucasian. [ laughter ] i mean, there is not anyone there but white people. i tried to ship in other races. i couldn't find them. >> jimmy: where did you shoot it at, a theater or the improv? >> a place called o.c. pavilion, yeah. >> jimmy: o.c. pavilion. that's some good crowds out there. that's super fun. >> yeah, it's good. >> jimmy: that's good. do you like doing stand up? i know you did the documentary about hecklers. >> i did, i did heckling -- this movie i did, "heckler," it was really a lot of fun. >> jimmy: where you just -- people heckled you in the audience. and then you invited them back stage and you're like, "hey, why did you do that?" >> yes. it was, pretty much. it's all about heckling, and like -- because, you know, i mean, it's like the mind of the heckler -- i wanted to get into it, and why do people heckle? and i found out, and you'll tell me if this is wrong. but the biggest group of people that heckle are mostly drunk white women. [ light laughter ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, >> jimmy: yeah. the national broadcasting >> i mean, it's usually -- company presents -- because if a black woman's at this show, she's like -- "i ain't stayin.'" tonight's guests are -- you know, and she'll leave. but white women are just obnoxious. and you could just -- in your set up -- you could just be like -- "you know, i was putting on my pants." she's like, "take 'em off!"
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and featuring the legendary roots crew. "no, i was just" -- "take 'em off!" [ laughter ] and you know, they're helpers, they want to help you. and here he is -- >> jimmy: yeah, and you're like, "will you stop talking?" she's like, [ slurring speech ] "i'm a good girl." jimmy fallon! [ laughter ] >> [ slurring speech ] [ cheers and applause ] "i'm a good girl." [ laughter and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- >> jimmy: it's so funny to watch you because i love watching you on "the g-whisp," on "ghost whisperer." ♪ >> "the whispy," thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now on this -- it's a pretty dramatic show. >> yes, very. >> jimmy: and you get to stretch your acting skills. >> it's cool. it's, yeah, it's nice to get to be dramatic. >> jimmy: with jennifer love hewitt. it's a good sense of fun -- >> jimmy: wow, thank you so >> it's beautiful. it's interesting. much. i feel it already. thank you very much. i got to date the boss, and my character doesn't ever have a welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. girlfriend on the show because happy wednesday. she always gets them killed. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what happens, yeah. well, we have a clip. we want to show a clip. >> okay. thank you so much. we have a big night in the show >> jimmy: here it is from "the tonight. wow, we have kristen stewart ghost whisperer," jamie kennedy, everybody. from the new "twilight" movie. [ cheers and applause ] >> melinda was warned to leave julia alone. wow, i want to tell you something. when i was walking in here she should listen. >> what, the message in her earlier, hundreds of fans were kitchen? out there screaming, [ in high-pitched voice ] >> she tried to get that girl to "jimmy, jimmy! cross over into the light. move out of the way so we can >> is that a bad thing? see kristen!" [ laughter ] what do that shadows have against going -- >> i'm taking a huge risk just "move your big head!" being here.
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and i was like -- wow. >> hold on! sarah palin is still dominating >> are you saying the shadows had something to do with what happened to aiden? the news here. >> all i'm saying is if you and melinda aren't careful, they will. they will! last night, she was in an [ cheers and applause ] interview with barbara walters. she was asked to rate obama's performance as a president on a scale of 1 to 10. >> jimmy: yeah. dramatic, dramatic. and palin was like, "oh, that's dude, you're a talented guy. easy, 'f.'" [ laughter ] you go funny. you go serious. you gotta to come back. jamie kennedy, "ghost whisperer," fridays at 8:00, on cbs. and actually, on a scale from 1 [ cheers and applause ] to 10, palin rated president obama a 4. the avett brothers perform next! come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ( sighs ) that's what she said, yeah. a 4. or as bill clinton refers to a 4 -- [ as bill clinton ] "totally doable." [ laughter ] "or two 2s. whatever you want to -- it still equals 4." later in the interview, palin said that president obama's economic plans were "back-asswards." [ laughter ] they were "back-asswards." and then obama said that sarah palin is ucking funqualified to be talking about it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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( music throughout ) you know i was sweating that one. i was like -- i might slip just a little bit hey bets, can i borrow a quarter? and then -- [ laughter ] sure, still not dry? hey, you guys we're celebrating i'm trying to shrink them. nbc's green week here at i lost weight and now some clothes are too big. rockefeller center. it's green week. [ cheers and applause ] how did you do it? yeah. simple stuff. eating right and i switched to whole grain. what better way -- what better whole grain... way to celebrate than ripping out a giant tree out of the studies show that people who eat more whole grain ground, covering it with lights tend to have a healthier body weight. and leaving them on for a month, isn't that great? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] multigrain cheerios has five whole grains... and 110 calories per lightly sweetened serving. we're all doing this together. yeah! more grains. less you. multigrain cheerios. you guys, yesterday, president obama visited the great wall of china. he said, "it's magical. it reminds you of the sweep of history." when george bush visited. he said, [ as george w. bush ] "it's magical, it reminds you of something spider-man would love to climb." [ laughter ] kind of the same. "flame on!" [ laughter ] i know. in a new interview, president obama said that the people could lose confidence in the u.s. economy if our debt continues to grow.
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and americans were like, "uh, way ahead of you, dude." [ laughter ] a study from the american exercise council found the exercise program on nintendo's wii fit amounts to only a very, very mild workout. this is terrible news for people who really believed that they could get in shape doing this -- [ laughter ] exhausted. although the exercise council did agree that wii fit is the perfect workout if you want the body of an italian plumber. "mario!" [ laughter ] and finally, beyonce and lady gaga just released a new music video. [ cheers and applause ] woo, it is hot stuff! it's called "videophone." they're wearing matching skimpy, white bustiers. beyonce calls the outfit revealing, yet tasteful. gaga calls them business-casual. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: oh, we've got a fantastic show tonight. thank you for joining us. you may know her as bella from the film "new moon" of the "twilight" series. a talented and beautifully young actress, kristen stewart is here! [ cheers and applause ] she's great. from "ghost whisperer," comedian ♪ jamie kennedy will be joining us! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] a very funny man, i love jamie kennedy. >> jimmy: we've got another big show coming up tomorrow night. tomorrow we got from "new moon," and we got music from the taylor lautner will be here. avett brothers, everybody! they're gonna be jamming out. they sound good. he plays the role of jacob black [ cheers and applause ] from "twilight." from the critically acclaimed fx drama "sons of anarchy," the it's a hot show. i'm so excited. lovely katey sagal will be stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] you guys, "new moon," i saw the movie. i love her, too. i saw "new moon" last night. it's awesome. and this band form brooklyn obits, who i really like. it's better than the last one. they'll be performing. it is phenomenal. it's gonna be a great show. it is -- yeah, i know. hope to see you back here a lot of people are freaking tomorrow night. out. but now, first our next guests, i'm not gonna any spoilers away. but robert pattinson is not in you guys, are unbelievably it as much. great. [ light laughter ] if you don't know them, you gotta get into these guys. yeah, it's mostly -- they're an acclaimed north carolina band, who released kristen's driving this. their major label debut, "i and bella, it's all her movie. her and taylor lautner. love and you," in september. this guy, taylor lautner. taylor lautner, you know that produced by rick rubin, pretty a guy? [ cheers and applause ] good guy. they're here tonight, to perform
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the their song, "slight figure of speech." i think that -- i could be wrong with this, but i think there's a please welcome the avett brothers, everybody! 25 to 30-minute scene of just him taking his shirt off. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and it's like slow-motion. ♪ every -- each ab gets its own close-up. [ laughter ] it's pretty cool. and hopefully on dvd, they'll have extra ab scenes because i think there's some hidden ones they didn't show. the movie's great, the plot moves. ♪ they say you've got to lose a couple fights to win ♪ it's just -- everyone does such a great job acting. kristen is off the charts in this movie. the sound track is insane. it's great. you could hear it if you weren't hearing my scenes during the whole movie. "oh, my god, he's taking his shirt off!" but it -- it's such a good movie, and i'm looking forward to being able to talk about it with people. because it's one of those things like, "don't tell me. don't tell me. oh, my god!" i'm like, "oh, gosh. i have no one to tell." so i just sit lonely in my room and just watch the first "twilight" and listen to "bonivaire." [ laughter ] [ cheers ] yeah. as you may know, it's green week here at nbc. and in honor of that, we had a really special treat lined up for you guys tonight. we booked some major music stars to perform green-inspired
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versions of their hit songs here on the show. like a mini-concert. unfortunately, they all backed out about ten minutes ago. they all backed out of it. [ laughter ] so i guess they all had something better to do. but as they say, the show must go on. so i'm going to perform the songs in their place. [ cheers and applause ] let's do this. [ cheers and applause ] >> ladies and gentlemen, it's the first annual "late night" green night eco jam. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. stay green! [ light laughter ] [ cheers ] okay, first up amy winehouse. [ cheers and applause ] >> amy winehouse. ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ ♪ they try to make me buy a hybrid but i said no, no, no ♪ ♪ that car's so whack i ain't buyin' that i said no, no, no ♪ ♪ i need to save this ride because i love to drink and drive ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ they tried to make me buy a hybrid but i said no, no, no ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> green day. ♪ ♪ your electric bill is high you do leave on the lights it happens all the time ♪ ♪ it's all right do you conserve energy because of energy ♪ ♪ well, can i conserve energy ho-hey ♪ that's all. [ cheers and applause ] >> lady gaga. ♪
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♪ get inside, get inside my ride so we can use the carpool lane ♪ that's all i got for that one. [ cheers and applause ] >> t.i., featuring, rihanna. ♪ ♪ buy green, buy a car buy a new energy star you've got to change ♪ ♪ your light bulb hey-ey-ey 60 watts is too bright ♪ ♪ you got to change your light bulb hey-ey-ey ♪ ♪ do your next bill a favor got to change your light bulb ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> justin timberlake. ♪ ♪ recycling i got a bag of empty heineken i put it in the back seat ♪ ♪ of my dodge i've gotta get it out of my garage ♪
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♪ i bring my bottles back yeah, the supermarket's where i do that at ♪ ♪ yeah, get 60 cents back for every 12-pack, yeah it's by the produce ♪ ♪ section in the back, yeah next to the fridge come here, girl ♪ ♪ go heavy, go with it come to the back go heavy go ♪ ♪ put your cans in go heavy, go one at a time ♪ ♪ go heavy, go get your receipt go heavy, go ♪ ♪ wait for the slip go heavy, go give it to the cashier ♪ ♪ go heavy, go get the cash back ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay-z, featuring alicia keys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ yeah, i was born in brooklyn now i'm rockin' 30 rock ♪ ♪ got a green studio right across from dr. oz the lights in the ceiling ♪ ♪ these seats that we're sittin' on down to the floors ♪ ♪ that the roots will be to be playing on these new floors ♪ ♪ just look what
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they're made of renewable bamboo ♪ ♪ look at these new floors sustainable bamboo recycled and reused ♪ ♪ look at these new floors♪ thank you, new york. we'll be right back with "wheel of carpet samples." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hi there, i'm jack... and awhile back i got an idea right in there. and you know what it was? make my pc simpler. so what did i do? i pass it along to microsoft. next thing you know, windows 7 and this new snap feature. now if i'm working at two things at once i just drag this over here, this over here. snap! simpler! pretty much exactly what i told them. i mean i'm not trying to take all the credit... wife: he called his mother. of course i called her. she needed to know this.
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i'm a pc and windows 7 was my idea. ♪ i always feel like somebody's watching me. ♪ (announcer) it's right here, it's easy... ♪ always feel like mebody's watching me. ♪'s the money you could be ving with geico. ♪ who's watching? ♪ i always feel like (announcer) it's right here, it's easy... ♪ somebody's watching me.'s the money you could be saving with geico. formal attire. officially retired. hey mom and dad guess what? 1-2-3-4 not gonna wear it anymore! i love my comfy sweater.
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i love my comfy sweater. how cute are these boots? how cute are these boots? forget those frilly dresses. forget those frilly dresses. or talk to the moose. moose, ah ah ah moose! bottom. needs work. sorry, son. [ female announcer ] you can't pass inspection with pieces left behind. it's soft and more durable. so you're left with a more dependable clean. fewer pieces left behind. new charmin ultra strong.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to our show, everybody. and thank you so much for watching at home. i really, really appreciate you watching our show. everyone, i'm so excited. coming up is my favorite game. this game is amazing. if you like carpets and you like samples, you're going to love this. it's a game we call "wheel of carpet samples!" ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: look at this beautiful wheel. so many carpet samples. now, as you can see, this is a very special nbc green week edition of the "wheel of carpet samples." which means absolutely nothing. let's give it up for tonight's lucky contestants. come on over. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "wheel of carpet samples," brought to you this week by the environment. >> the environment -- [ whip cracks ] you got love it! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you guys excited to play? >> oh, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, cool. all right, now, in case you don't know the rules, here's a quick refresher. on this wheel, we have dozens of carpet samples -- only the best varieties, of course. tonight, in honor of green week, we've got "slimy daydream." [ cheers ] [ light laughter ] we have "urgent turtle" -- [ light laughter ] "grandpa's pants" -- "subtle zucchini" and tonight's mystery sample. ♪ wow, who can tell us what tonight's mystery sample is, evil jimmy? tonight's mystery sample is -- "green." [ laughter ]
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thank you, my evil twin. now, as i said before, this is a very special green week, wheel. you might be thinking, "wait, just because this is the color green doesn't mean it's environmentally friendly." hi, there. what's your name, where are you from? [ light laughter ] >> i'm alice. i'm from homedale, new jersey. >> jimmy: oh, very good, alice. okay, audience, you ready to help me out? let's spin that wheel of carpet samples! [ cheers and applause ] let's go, spin it! give it a good spin. there we go. good, watch out. >> oh. >> jimmy: don't want you getting rug burn. [ laughter ] there you go. where it stops, nobody knows. could be anything. that's a real good spin. whew, going round and round. could be on "itchy pickle." could end anywhere. oh, "wasabi debacle!" ♪ [ cheers and applause ] fantastic! wow, you landed on "wasabi debacle." that means your score is 39.948. [ alarm rings ] oh, you know what that sound means? argon alert. your score is the atomic weight of the element argon.
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which means it's time for a carpet sample fun fact. >> carpet sample fun fact. "romeo and juliet" was written by william shakespeare. >> jimmy: yep. now, keep that in mind. [ laughter ] it might come in handy later. move on down. thanks so much for playing. how you doing, buddy? >> good. >> jimmy: nice to see you. now, what's your name, and where are you from? >> my name is orrin. i'm from miami. >> jimmy: very good. well, welcome, orrin. that's great. now, she's got 39.948 points, which is the most you can possibly get. you think you can top it? >> yeah, absolutely. >> jimmy: perfect. [ laughter ] okay, which sample do you have your eye on? >> i like the "humble dragon." >> jimmy: oh, where is that one, "humble dragon"? where is that -- oh, there it is up there. yeah, that's pretty -- that's easy to like. [ laughter ] all right. let's spin that wheel of carpet samples! go for it, buddy! thank you, pal. hope that you get it. ♪ a lot of carpeting in miami. >> yeah, a lot. >> jimmy: be pretty good. here we go.
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it lands on -- "subtle zucchini!" ♪ [ cheers and applause ] "subtle zucchini," wow! you know what that means. let's put three seconds on the clock. you know how it works. when i say go, you have to name as many breakfast cereals as you possibly can. ready, go! >> cap'n crunch, lucky charms, frosted flakes, fruit loops -- [ buzzer ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, sorry. you left out fiber one. [ laughter ] we were looking for fiber one. ♪ >> sorry. >> jimmy: your score is 41,562. please step to the end of the line. thanks a lot. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] contestant number three, what's your name, where are you from? >> jess from kerry, north carolina. >> jimmy: very good, jess. all right, very good. now, before you spin, we have something very special for you. it's time for some green week recycling tips from our very own "wheel of carpet samples" mascot, dennis, the singing recycling bin. ♪ ♪ recycle or die recycle or die ♪ >> jimmy: thanks, dennis.
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all right, contestant number three, it's time to spin that wheel of carpet samples! go for it, pal! let's do it! ♪ felt pretty good, right? >> feeling good. >> jimmy: yeah. oh, and there it is! "elegant cucumber!" ♪ [ cheers and applause ] now, as always, you have the option to trade in your carpet sample for whatever is behind curtain number two. [ light laughter ] now, i encourage you to take the trade. in fact, i insist that you do. all right. let's see what you've won. >> i guess i'll take the trade. >> jimmy: what could it be? there it is! wow! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] "toxic ostrich." "toxic ostrich." very, very good. one of the finest varieties of carpet samples. you took a risk and the risk paid off. [ laughter ] now this is one of the closest matches in the long and storied history of "wheel of carpet samples." evil jimmy, who is tonight's winner? tonight's winner on "wheel of carpet samples" is contestant
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number -- two. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] congratulations! very, very goo. guys, unfortunately, you lost. oh, sorry, i'll shake your hand, too. but i need to take this with me. so sorry. you do not get to keep any of those carpet samples. but as a consolation prize, you each get a $300 gift certificate to the apple store! [ cheers and applause ] so sorry. sorry, thank you for playing. but you're the big winner! how do you feel? >> i feel great! >> jimmy: yeah, look at that carpet sample. oh, my god. that is just awesome! >> i'm excited. >> jimmy: yeah, you want to give a shout out to anybody? >> my mom and dad in opa-laka, florida -- my grandmother, my aunt and homesound. my roommates in brooklyn -- tatiana -- and matt. and new school university, northwestern university. ♪ my first grade teacher mrs. -- and a few other people. but -- >> jimmy: all right.
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hey, you know what? we'll give you a gift certificate, too. here's a gift certificate to the apple store, $300 buddy. good man. [ cheers and applause ] that's all of the time we have. we'll see you next time on "wheel of carpet samples!" we'll be right back with kristen stewart, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ my dad, he helps build thousands and thousands of wind turbines. my mom works on ct scanners and checks people's bones.
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if you had a business, my dad would help make your business bigger. my papa thinks of new things that have never been made before. (announcer) it's the people at ge that are creating innovation today for america's tomorrow. my mom helps make things to make people better. what do i get my husband? ♪ high-def tv, high-def tv ♪ in 1080p ♪ with 120 hertz, guys are so easy ♪ ♪ high-def tv, high def tv, we really do agree ♪ ♪ guys just want a nice big screen ♪ ♪ to stare at frozenly [ ding ] ok. ♪ when he sees this thing ♪ we have to warn you now ♪ it looks just so awesome ♪ he's gonna have a cow moo. [ male announcer ] a 46" tv with 120 hertz. delivered right to your home. the best gifts come from best buy.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our first guest tonight is an excellent young actress who's the centerpiece of the biggest movie franchise around right now. from "twilight: new moon," please welcome kristen stewart everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very, very cool. thanks for coming on. >> no, thanks for having me. >> jimmy: now, this is your last stop on your press for the movie, then vacation. >> yes. >> jimmy: then it's home time. so enjoy this. this is going to be phenomenal. thanks for coming on. i appreciate it. >> oh, no, thank you.
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>> jimmy: so many things going on. i mean, i love the movie. i've got to tell you. like it matters. i really affect the box office. so i mean, you really want to impress me. but gosh, i think you did so great in this movie, such a good actress. >> thanks. >> jimmy: yeah, i thought you were really fantastic, and you are handling all of this craziness and press with grace. and i think you deserve a lot of credit for that. yeah. so it's very, very good. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you've been in new york, i saw you on a couple of the morning shows. you're in new york, the air is crispy. autumn is in the air. this is awesome, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: having fun? >> yeah, i am. >> jimmy: you love new york, right? >> i do. i love new york. i can't really go outside, though. i mean, i'm kind of sick, and, like -- people -- >> jimmy: you're you. yeah. yeah, you have to wear a disguise. you can wear a jimmy fallon mask. nobody bothers you. [ laughter ] trust me, no win will bother you at all. yeah, but it's pretty great. i love new york. it's super fun. you get to see like weird stuff and -- because i know you were on the "today" show this morning and -- >> yeah, the weirdest thing, there was three camels walking down the street, and i was stuck two cars away from the place i was supposed to be in.
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i had to like rush on to the stage because we were late, and i was literally saying like, "i'm sorry, i've been sitting out there for ten minutes in traffic i just wasn't allowed to exit my car." and like, you know, camels started strolling by. and i was like -- [ laughter ] only in new york, right? >> jimmy: i love it. three camels are crossing the street in new york city. >> it was the weirdest thing. it was so weird. >> jimmy: i love it. it's probably for the radio city christmas show. which i think, is starting up this week, which is awesome. if you've never been to that, you've got to come back to new york and do that. it's like -- if you like 3d santa claus? [ laughter ] >> i love santa claus. >> jimmy: me, too. oh, my god! we used to be besties. [ laughter ] and then you're off here, then you're off to home, and then thanksgiving at home. and are you doing any cooking or what are you doing? >> i make some pretty good pie. >> jimmy: oh yeah? >> i'm gonna make some pies, yeah. >> jimmy: i'm not into dessert. i don't do that well. >> but you like eating them? >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> there you go. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] that counts, yeah. again, we should be besties.
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but i like pumpkin pie is my favorite pie. >> oh okay, you know the best pumpkin pie recipe is the one on the back of the pumpkin can. >> jimmy: yeah, i think that's the one i use. yeah, that's that pumpkin mix, whatever. i heard you were grilling martha stewart today, tried to get -- some advice from martha stewart. she's the best, right? >> yeah, and all she wanted to talk about was rob. like, he literally -- like, she told me she had a dream that she hung out with him. i was like, "that's awesome." >> jimmy: wait, she had a dream -- [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: wait, i'm sorry. so martha stewart says -- "hey, do you have any pie things?" just small talk. she goes, "i had a dream about robert pattinson?" >> it actually kind of -- i mean, i didn't ask about the pie. she wasn't like -- "no pie talk." i mean, like -- there was a whole segment about the pie. and then i figured that that's what we were going to -- i don't know. and she was just like, "you know, i'm such a fan, and i had a dream about robert the other night." and i was like, "dude. i should hook you guys up." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're like, "i have his number." yeah, "i have his number." but, what was in her dream with her and robert?
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>> she just said they hung out. i don't know what that really -- i don't know -- [ laughter ] i didn't like, push it. i was just like, "okay, that's cool." >> jimmy: [ imitating martha stewart ] "we hung out. we made some crafts." [ laughter ] [ laughter ] >> she said he was really down to earth and really real. and she really liked that. >> jimmy: in the dream. >> yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love when people are nice to you in your dream. i don't have dreams where people don't like me. i think -- oh, my god, elvis was so down to earth last night when i had that elvis dream. [ imitating martha stewart ] "and then me and robert hung out and made out for 25 minutes." [ laughter ] whoever cast this movie is phenomenal. 'cause i love you, i love robert pattinson, and taylor lautner -- lautner, right? >> no, it is lautner, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. whoever casted his abs. [ laughter ] he's got -- there's that one scene -- it seems like forever. i know it's probably, like, five seconds -- i don't want to spoil anything. but he takes his shirt -- yeah. in there it was like, "oh, my god!" to the point there was rumbling, it was like a riot where i was. and it was just me -- it was just me in the room.
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[ laughter ] >> i think they edited it in a way that they left that pause, like there's probably like five seconds of me just going like -- because they knew everyone would be screaming. >> jimmy: you're counting his abs with your eyes going, "one, two, three, four, five, six, seven" -- yeah. he got jacked, huh? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh, he just worked out forever. 'cause the last one. he wasn't remotely big. >> he looks completely different. i mean, he was 16 at the time, and insane. i mean, like, i saw him after the whole thing, i didn't see him throughout, so the next time i saw him after "twilight," i was like -- >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. >> jimmy: someone grew up over the summer, yeah. [ laughter ] i can't believe it! [ laughter ] it was like that, right? but, you know, i've got to say, "moon" is just great story, you knock me out, that one scene, i'll tell you that in the commercial. i don't want to spoil it for everybody. gosh, i was like, "oh, she's awesome." and the soundtrack.
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fantastic. >> it's really good, right? >> jimmy: love it. >> i know, i really like it too. >> jimmy: thom yorke is in there and bon iver. i got your thing today, by the way, i checked out bon iver thing on youtube. >> yeah, they do this a cappella thing. they do this song in this, like, really sort of open, probably really like echo-filled, beautiful place in europe. i have no idea where it happens, but it's like really surreal. and they're amazing. they're like my new favorite band. >> jimmy: and in the hallway -- oh, are they really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what's the story with that? >> i have no idea. i have to do more research. >> jimmy: i think i heard the story that this guy just broke up with his girlfriend and he moved into his dad's cabin -- and the name of the cabin is bon iver -- and he's sitting in this cabin, and he's depressed and he just wrote a record. and then when you listen to the record, it sounds like a depressed dude that's in his dad's cabin. [ laughter ] it's fantastic. >> i know, but it's so good. >> jimmy: it's so, so, so good. and there is a fight at the -- everyone knows there is a fight at the end if you read the books or whatever. >> i mean, at this point, everyone has seen. >> jimmy: the graphics are great, and the effects are and phenomenal. we're going to look from that.
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let's look at a clip from "new moon." [ cheers and applause ] check it out. >> what do you do with her now? >> you already know what you're going to do, aro. >> she knows too much. >> that's true. felix? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: exciting. hey, you want to stick around and break some stuff together? >> yeah. >> jimmy: is that cool? all right, good. when we come back, kristen stewart and i are going
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. i'm here with kristen stewart, the top pick in this year's nfl draft. [ laughter ] and she is going to show off her arm strength and legendary throwing accuracy, because we have taylor lautner on the show tomorrow.
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he's bringing his abs, he's coming on. [ laughter ] and i heard that he's like a physical dude. like, he's a karate champ and -- >> yes, he is. >> jimmy: and he had a football on set, and he was throwing it around? >> yeah, all the time. >> jimmy: and i heard that you guys would throw it back and forth, and he said you have a pretty great arm yourself. >> yeah, he keeps like saying that i have this like really great spiral and stuff. i'm like, "i can throw, like, all right," you know. >> jimmy: not that great. we'll warm up a little bit, and then i have an idea. >> and these are big balls, you know. [ laughter ] i'm serious. these are like pro. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: exactly right. [ laughter ] all right, warm up. just warming up here, folks. okay. there you go. [ cheers and applause ] do one more warm up, one more warm up, and then i got an idea. oh, wow, that was goodie. that was a goodie, right there. that's good. all right. here's my idea. i'm going to put on these safety goggles. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and that's it -- i'm just gonna be weird for five minutes. i'm going to then hold these plates, and i want you to throw the football and see how many plates you can break out of five plates, okay? >> okay.
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>> jimmy: take your time. i think you can do it, pal. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, god. [ drum roll ] ah! i hate this. >> jimmy: please don't hit me. please don't hit me in the face. [ laughter ] >> all right, all right, all right. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: getting smaller. getting smaller. getting smaller. come on. >> all right, all right, all right. >> jimmy: let's go. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] here we go. we got two more. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ last one, pal. last one. let's check it out. go for it. hey!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] let's do that in slo-mo! slo-mo replay. we got any good ones on there? oh yeah, you'll like this. bang! right there. well done, everybody. "twilight: new moon" opens everywhere in the country at one minute after midnight tomorrow. kristen stewart, everybody! jamie kennedy joins us next! there he is in the bud light golden wheat room. come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ for the "active hobbyist" like my friend michael, - ebay is really great. - well, why buy new gear when i can get it used in great condition for a lot less money? absolutely. like your cross-country skis. - and my table saw. - and your flamenco guitar. - how's that going by the way? - i can't do this. i just can't do it! great! i've mastered it. announcer: for a good price on great gear-- come to think of it, ebay. ( muffled ) i think i have to go to the bathroom. (rooster crow)
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♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: hey, welcome back, everybody. our next guest is a very, very funny stand-up comedian and actor, who is one of the stars of the television show, "ghost whisperer," which airs friday at 8:00 on cbs. ladies and gentlemen, jamie kennedy. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, really good. >> i like that. >> jimmy: feels good, right? >> much respect. [ laughter ] malibu. >> jimmy: good man. "malibu's most wanted," how are you, buddy? >> i'm good, buddy. how you feeling? >> jimmy: i'm doing great there. did you see the "new moon," by the way. everyone's talking about it back stage. >> yeah, i went to, i got to go to the premiere the other night. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah, it was a little bit bigger than the "kickin' it old school" premier we had for my movie. [ laughter ] white break dancer that gets into a coma. it was a teeny bit bigger than that. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, you'd think that
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would be -- equal -- >> it was big in parguay. it was -- [ laughter ] but, yeah, it was crazy. >> jimmy: did you like it? >> i liked it. it's -- you know, i've noticed, though -- you know, you and i are about the same ages as -- vampires have gotten a little different now. since when you and i grew up. you know what i mean? a little bit more sensitive. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know what i mean? women, women are always like, "why can't you be more like edward?" [ laughter ] and they always say, like, "he's such a man!" and i was like, "all right. well, let's review." okay. [ light laughter ] well, he's 108. [ light laughter ] he can fly. and he sparkles. when you put him in the sunlight. [ laughter ] any guy with those traits might not be looking for you. he might be looking for your brother. you know what i'm saying?" [ laughter ] take a minute. it's okay, take a minute. and what about, when you and i grew up, we had "the lost boys." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, that was great! [ cheers and applause ] >> you know what i mean? >> jimmy: oh, that was a great movie. that was vampires with keifer sutherland and -- >> yeah, and i love -- i love
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"twilight." it's awesome and i love -- but "lost boys," you know they were different. i mean, when they, they used to get drunk and turn into bats and threaten to beat up the two coreys. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's right, the frog brothers. >> and now they just, you know, they have -- now they just play piano and have no split ends. so it's a little -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it is a little bit different. did you go with your lady friend? >> i went with my lady, yes, my girlfriend. >> jimmy: jennifer love hewitt. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: i love jennifer love hewitt. >> i know. >> jimmy: i love her. she's awesome. >> did you guys have a moment or? >> jimmy: yeah. >> you guys had a moment? >> jimmy: we had a moment, yeah. no, no, no. we were buddies. >> no, i know. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> buddies? >> jimmy: yeah. >> oh, god! >> jimmy: no, no, no -- dude, i call her -- do you call her love? >> i call her love, yeah. it's 'cause you know -- >> jimmy: all her friends call her love. >> all her friends call her love, everyone -- >> jimmy: is that tough for you guys to go out because she's -- >> well, i had -- i had what you had -- you had here with kristen, like, when we were on the carpet, these french guys were like -- [ speaking in french ] "jamie?" "yeah?"
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"get out of the way! we'd like to take jennifer. >> jimmy: "you're taking space off my hard drive." i'm german all of a sudden, too. [ laughter ] just trying to riff with you. there's a german. he's next to the french guy. right here. >> but, no, i mean, we have a good time. >> jimmy: she's super-fun. >> she's amazing. it's interesting, though, like, dating someone like that. because we have our little problems in our relationship. it gets -- there's weird moments like -- you know, like, when we're in a restaurant and the bill comes. >> jimmy: yeah. >> because, you know, like -- like i'm rich, but i mean, she is loaded. [ laughter ]
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