tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS August 4, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am EDT
>> also true. >> thank you for joining us. >> have a good night. >> stephen: hey there. i'm here with jon and the o'jay (cheers and applause) thanks for being here, guys! thank you so much! we were just talking about we're going to do on our summer break which is coming up soon. >> jon: yes, indeed. >> stephen: so i was concerned when i saw that, according to the "washington post," there is no song of the summer this year. not cool, music. people need a jam for when they're cruising in their car to the malt shop to meet debbie. >> jon: yes! >> stephen: that's what i'm talking about. so we here at the late show have made the song of the summer.
one, two, thee! here we go! ? ? ? ? ? summer is here now hey hey hey ? it's gonna be an awesome day ? chilling out in the sun sun sun ? got my whole crew we're having fun ? it's s-u-m then m-e-r ? six through eight on the calendar ? now for my favorite thing of all ? summertime means it's almost fall ? fall! fall! fall! ?l ? cool crisp air, hot apple cider ? comfy sweaters, roaring fires ? fall! fall! fall! ? fall in love with fall ? fall or autumn, they both are nice ? season so great, we named it twice ? can't wear flannel in the summer ? i for one think that's a bummer ? watching leaves turn pretty colors ? daylight savings gain an hour
? better than summer so let's sing ? fall! fall! fall! ? fall in love with fall ? carve a pumpkin, take a hay ride ? countless ways to make you smile wide ? fall! fall! fall! ? fall in love with fall. >> organize your sweaters! ? >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! tonight, stephen welcomes jamie dornan! javier mu?oz! and malcom gladwell! featuring jon batiste and "stay human"! and now from ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! (cheers and applause) ?
>> stephen: come on out! come on out! (cheers and applause) whoo! yeah! nice! (cheers and applause) thanks, everybody! what's going on? (cheers and applause) hey down there! thank you so much! (cheers and applause) hey! welcome to "the late show," everybody! thank you so much! thank you, mark! welcome to the late show. i'm stephen colbert. you guys been paying attention to the newst a all this past week? a lot going on. a little late on that answer.
it was a rough week for donald trump. (cheering) isn't it nice? people know it's a rough week, they're trying to cheer him up. (laughter) trump was ridden hard and put away wet this week. and it looks like all the controversies are taking their toll, with reports that "trump's campaign staff, even campaign manager paul manafort, 'feel like they are wasting their time.'" and that trump's staff is suicidal. (laughter) they'd jump off the building, but they're afraid they'd see the word "trump" on the way down. (laughter) i'm sure they don't mean it. i'm sure they're fine. right? of course, trump denies anything is wrong. >> so i just want to tell you, the campaign is doing really well. it's never been so well united. >> stephen: yes, the campaign's all united and right behind him
"human centipede." right. right? (laughter) (applause) they're batting cleanup, shall we say. (laughter) and on "cbs this morning" this morning on cbs, manafort may have finally cracked. >> you're a lifelong republican. i mean, you've served for presidents, in the past, for years. i mean, do you support speaker paul ryan? >> look. i support him as the speaker, and i know after next week, i'm going to be supporting him as a candidate for president, too-- i mean for-- >> really? (laughter) >> stephen: ha ha! it's funny because, god, i hope it's true. but there's good news out of the trump campaign: trump and his party raised 82 million last month, much of it from small donations, with supporters
and they can feel good knowing that every dollar will help donald trump reach his ultimate goal-- attack ads against paul ryan. what's trump's fundraising secret? well, a cnn reporter spoke to one of his donors, who said, "unfortunately, i set up a recurring political contribution on donald trump's website," and "there's no place on the website to stop the recurring payment." oops! supporting trump is like joining a gym, only it's democracy that isn't working out. (laughter) speaking of not working out, i'm about to go on vacation, and i was looking forward to it, until i saw that orlando bloom stole my vacation plans. take a look: paddleboarding fully naked with his girlfriend katy perry.
orlando bloom paddleboarding naked alongside katy perry in sardinia to remind you: "celebrities... they're nothing like us." (applause) now, i don't want to rush to judgment-- i'm sure there was a practical reason for paddleboarding al fresco. perhaps he needed an extra rudder, or maybe he's trying to tan his little legolas. this is a family show, so i'm not going to show that picture again, but i will show this one. wow. i'm not judging, but i think that rectangle means his butt crack is shaped like a penis. don't worry, orlando didn't spend his whole day paddleboarding naked. he also played on the rocks! naked!
of scorpions. and we've just received the rest of orlando bloom's vacation photos. here he is, admiring the sistene chapel. after that, he decided to do some woodworking. then he went bungee jumping, and then finished off the day with a little archery. (cheers and applause) anyway, orlando bloom and katy perry, i wish the three of you a happy summer. stick around. when we come back, we will be holding donald trump accountable for a grave injustice to children. you're going to want to see this one.
this summer, t-mobile's throwing a galaxy free for all. right now get a free samsung galaxy for everyone in the family. you heard right a free samsung galaxy with every new line. and get 4 lines with 6 gigs each - for just 30 bucks a line. plus everybody gets unlimited streaming from their favorite services. don't wait - get a free samsung galaxy for everyone. get to t-mobile because the galaxy free for all is only for a limited time. ? oh ? ? with a little bit of uh uh, and a little bit of ? ? i said, it's getting hot in herre ?
every day, you're thankful for the ones you love. and every day you promise to protect them. off! is here to help with proven protection against mosquitoes. trust our family to protect yours. sc johnson, a family company man, i'm glad aflac pays cash. aflac! isn't major medical enough? no! who's gonna' help cover the holes in their plans? aflac! like rising co-pays and deductibles... aflac! e? aflaaac! and everyday expenses? aflac! learn about one day pay at aflac.com/boat blurlbrlblrlbr!!! poor mouth breather. allergies? stuffy nose? can't sleep? take that. a breathe right nasal strip instantly opens your nose up to 38% more than allergy medicine alone. shut your mouth and say goodnight,
? (cheers and applause) ? money money money money! ? >> stephen: ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the o'jays one more time. (cheers and applause) thank you so much for being here tonight, man. you can just not feel bad when that music plays. thank you so much. what a great way to kick off the summer in almost august. (laughter) is it august?
i have been eating out of too many aluminum pots. okay. (laughter) guys, let me ask you, you like music? >> yeah. >> stephen: thought you would. you will love this next story. donald trump has based his campaign on his success as a businessman, but he's been accused by many of his vendors and contractors of not paying them for their services. well, the latest group that might sue donald trump for non-payment is the "usa freedom kids," a patriotic girl band with a name that sounds like it came from a first generation immigrant, "usa freedom number one, yes, children, kids okay!" "usa freedom kids." you may remember "the usa freedom kids" performed at a trump rally earlier this year and their music sounded like a bald eagle marching on a casio keyboard. ? enemies, of freedom, face the music. ? come on, boys! ? take 'em down!
that, to make america great, deal from strength or get crushed every time! ? >> stephen: yeah. deal from strength or get crushed every time. you know, kids! but these young ladies have everything it takes to be a power-pop group, except a songwriter who knows where em-pha-sis goes-on-words. well, it turns out these children didn't deal from strength and got crushed this the usa freedom kids, donald trump took the free part literally. for the band's first performance at a trump rally the manager asked for $2,500 in payment. the campaign made a counter-offer: how about a table where the group could pre-sell albums? the manager took the deal. when they arrived at the venue, though, there was no table. classic trump negotiation tactic. "okay, i'm gonna write a number
well, folks, trump thinks he can get away with this, but i'm going to hold him accountable and get his attention with a flashy song and dance number. and because i don't think kids should be involved in the dirty world of politics, here with a brand new song for donald trump, please welcome: the usa freedom grownups! (cheers and applause) ? ? ? ? donald trump ? are you serious?! ? ripping off some little girls ? that's scandalous!
(cheers and applause) >> stephen: the usa freedom grownups, everybody! we'll be right back with jamie dornan. ? whoo! ? ? ? ? with my moderate to severe crohn's disease,... ...i was always searching for ways to manage my symptoms. i thought i had it covered. then i realized managing was all i was doing. when i finally told my doctor,
but still experience the symptoms of moderate to severe crohn's disease. in clinical studies, the majority of patients on humira saw significant symptom relief... ...and many achieved remission. humira can lower your ability to fight infections... ...including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers,... including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions,... ...and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, prone to infections, ...or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. if you're still just managing your symptoms, ask your gastroenterologist about humira. with humira, remission is possible. when you can take your hands off the wheel to get out of a tight spot. when you can relax with your foot off the brake and stay put. and when you enjoy 400 horsepower
this is the lincoln summer invitation, hurry in now to your dealer for limited time offers! lease an mkc for $289 a month or get 0% apr for 60 months and just announced $1,000 dollars summer invitation bonus. introducing new mist twst the only lemon lime soda with a twist of real juice. it's a crisp, refreshing twist on lemon lime. insist on the twist. what's up schumer? okay, i got roped into spending the day with my sister's kids (makes farting noise) and they like keep talking about back to school shopping? back to school is like our red carpet. just go to old navy. they have like the coolest back to school clothes up to 60% off.
but i'm calling about that credit scorecard. (to dog)give it. sure! it's free for everyone. oh! well that's nice! and checking your score won't hurt your credit. oh! (to dog)i'm so proud of you. well thank you. get your free credit scorecard at discover.com. even if you're not a customer. laura (vo): mom taught us that families comes first. laura: hey, mom. mom: hi. laura (vo):
so when she needs a little help... i am happy to give it. medicare is a big help too. so when i heard that kelly ayotte voted to turn medicare
then i saw she tried to raise the retirement age... all while giving tax breaks to millionaires and big
oil. kelly ayotte would rather take care of special interests than new hampshire families. narrator: women vote is responsible for the content of this advertising. hey, honey? you're washing that baked-on alfredo by hand,right? yes, dear. dish issues? cascade platinum... powers... through... your toughest stuck-on food. so let your dishwasher be the dishwasher. this turned out great. cascade. ( cheers and applause ) ? she used to be my girl ? ? she used to be me girl ?
? she used to be my girl ? >> is this mine? >> stephen: this is yours. this is mine. >> that's great. >> stephen: they look the same, but mine's hot, and yours is cold. cheers. >> cheers. wow. >> stephen: got to stay hydrated. >> that is gin. >> stephen: yeah, you requested. >> i just remembered. >> stephen: we like to keep people happy here. >> yep. >> stephen: i've got to talk about the elephant in the room right now. i'm really excited about your movie anthon anthropoid, but the elephant in the room is orlando bloom's elephant. (laughter) do you know orlando? >> i do know him a little bit. >> stephen: you know him a little bit? >> i feel like i know him a
it up is that i know you follow the election, right? >> i do, yeah. >> stephen: and there is a very important election you have been involved in and it didn't go well for you. >> yeah. >> stephen: this is in the belfast telegraph, says "fifty shades" jamie dornan has second best rear in the u.s.a. that must be really hard to take. (laughter) tough campaign? >> pretty pissed off you brought >> stephen: who did you lose to? >> i lost to tom hiddleston. >> stephen: you lost to the hihiddlesbum. (laughter) >> the whole way they came about it wasn't that democratic. >> stephen: no vote? i don't know. i don't know who i would have voted for. >> stephen: really? i probably would have voted
>> stephen: that was nice. although we didn't see much of it because of the rectangle. >> stephen: exactly. we don't know if that water was cold or warm. we have no idea. >> true. i'm sure there is a web site you could find out. >> stephen: probably can't say legally what they. >> are true. no, we could have done a live show, been on stage. >> stephen: well, i have a live show, we have a stage right here. (cheering) please, come on! it's never too early to campaign >> if you go first, i'll go. >> stephen: if i go first? you go. i will. (cheering) >> stephen: well... please don't do it. >> stephen: well, no, i can't possibly. i won't even show my ankles at my age. (laughter) this is as close to my butt as you get. have you finished shooting? because we have johnson on here.
tequila.oy you gave me a pint of gin. >> stephen: do we have any tequila? all right, sorry. >> okay. >> stephen: come back again and we'll drink grain alcohol. >> love to. >> stephen: have you guys finished shooting all the movies now? >> we finished. we shot numbers 2 and 3 back-to-back so we're done. >> stephen: is that how you shot them, back-to-back? >> i could hearearteph: oh, goo. which is kind of enough, you know. >> stephen: really? yeah. >> stephen: okay. i'm going toch >> they put up a picture of tom hiddleston's ass for me. >> stephen: oh. and i said my lines to that. it was an obscure ways of making movies but it worked. >> stephen: your partner ways a mask shaped like tom hiddleston's ass, nice. (laughter) a slightly more serious movie, "anthropoid," the title based on
two people in the united states, a little known but incredibly daring assassination attempt in checkcheckos lavacaia. tell me what happened. >> we were to assassinate third in the reich at the time. >> stephen: he was such a bastard that hitler himself said that guy's got a heart of when were hitler's telling you to tone it down, you're pretty bad. >> can you imagine? >> stephen: yeah. that is, like, the worst version of high praise. >> stephen: yeah. o this is after germany is coming and have taken over the lands. >> it's under nazi rule and it was unthinkable anyone would try to take someone that high up in the reich. but this operation was led by --
that were parachuted in and we play two of the parachutists. the clip you saw was the start of the execution of the plan to assassinate him. we've tried to stick really closely to the story in the movie. and they -- the attempt was sort of botched his gun jammed and we ended up having to throw a grenade. there was an explosion and he ended up dying a few days later from the poisoning from the shrapnel. >> he was the governor of bavaria at the time and ruling for the nazis. >> yes. this guy was the brain child for the final solution. people credit that, why anyone
but he master minded the whole thing. >> stephen: he dies of sepsis a few days later. >> yes. >> stephen: the repercussions were horrendous. >> yes. >> stephen: a town called loudeche, wiped out and the town was erased because someone claimed they had been one of the assassins from that town but wasn't. >> no, they had no connection >> stephen: i went there a few months ago and it's just a field where there was an entire town because the nazis wanted to say you do this and we eerase you from the world. >> sure. >> stephen: yeah. o the basic question, was it worth it? i think what would have happened to checks lavacaia would have been far worse than the reprisal
assassination. >> stephen: the parachuters were living in england. >> yes. >> stephen: was there a connection we don't know about with the british? >> they were all working together. there was a czech resistance in prague and then these guys were sent by britain and they were getting their orders from london. >> stephen: did you these back-to-back? were you doing fifty shades and then killing nazis? was that a situation? how do you make the switch from something super sexy to super sad? >> i had a break. i did come off another movie that's coming out next month, straight into anthropoid, but i'd had a long break from "fifty shades." >> it's a movie for netflix. >> stephen: sexy or sad? ad. >> stephen: but so sad it might be sexy?
please come back some time and show us your butt. we would love it. >> i'd love to. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thank you so much! ah, here we go. (cheering) >> stephen: here. great, okay >> stephen: i'm sure we're going a little bit long here but -- oh, that's a lot. >> that's fine. that's f. >> stephen: here's to resisting tyranny. >> perfect. >> stephen: jamie dornan, everybody! "anthropoid" premieres august 12th! (cheers and applause) ? cold, you're just perfect. t too hot, too sleep cooler, wake more refreshed, discover the new tempur breeze.
call or click today. officials are reporting, this new doritos mix is responsible for the worldwide bold outbreak. woo hoo! over you to you tom! things have gone totally around the bend. c'mmon boys! rarin' to go! because of new doritos mix, there is boldness everywhere. [robotic voice: doritos!] i quit!
four snacks in one. now straight talk wireless... has more high-speed data than ever before. we're talking double the data for just 10 bucks more. that's 10 gigs of high-speed data... to stream more video... and more music... more whatever you want! all on america's largest and most dependable 4g lte networks. choose from two great plans: our unlimited plan with 5gb of high-speed data. or double your data for just 10 bucks more. today we're talking about automotive awards. what if i told you there was a car company that received all of these awards? one company won an award in all of these? chevy. ahhhh! chevy chevrolet is the most awarded car company over the last two years. i love it! i'm just going to stay in here, is that okay? this summer find your tag and get 16% of msrp cash back on select remaining 2016 vehicles in stock.
(cheers and applause) >> stephen: i was lucky to have several members of your cast on the show. how long have you been in? as "hamilton" as the lead. >> third or fourth week at this point. >> stephen: yeah, they all blur together. (laughter) (cheers and applause) you're part of this well-known cultural phenomenon. have they had to reshoot the silhouette is this. >> it still kind of fits. >> stephen: can i see your silhouette? (cheers and applause) nice. now, the "new york times," our friends at the "new york times" have praised your performance and called you the sexy hamilton. besides the man bun, what makes you the sexy hamilton? >> man, i don't know.
think of when i think of your founding fathers. >> stephen: i don't know, t.j., thomas jefferson -- >> yeah, this is true. >> stephen: we know this much. or is everything you do just sexy at the this point? the goatee, the hair, everything? >> hey, there are worst things. >> stephen: don't fight it. i'm the sexy hamilton. i would not fight it if that was me. (laughter) you've got a lot of fans come to the show. >> yes. >> stephen: one of the cool things that happened to you is when the obamas came for the first time to see it, it was you on stage, not lin-manuel. >> yes, absolutely. >> stephen: because it came on the day when you were an alternate for lin-manuel. >> yes, i was scheduled to perform that day, anyway. >> stephen: that's so nice. he didn't big foot you and say, i think i'll do it for the president. that was really generous. >> absolutely generous.
definitely would have been the case where i would have been postponed and the originating star would have gone on. but tommy and l.in called me into the theater and tommy said the president is coming for this performance and i thought, well, okay, i guess i'll go on next week. and he ends with the paragraph with, we want you to perform. which i didn't hear correctly. i said, i'm sorry? and immediately lin was, like, >> stephen: oh, that's lovely. that's lovely. (applause) now, this show, one of the phrases that's used to talk about the development of the show is it started as a mixed tape is one of the things people say? >> yeah. >> stephen: you have been with this show ever since it started? >> absolutely. it started with a handful of songs. there wasn't a clear idea of what it was going to become. >> stephen: did you think at the beginning we're going to do
>> no way! i got the message from lin and i said, i don't think it sounds very good, buttist you, so i'll be there. >> stephen: you worked with him in the heights, right? >> yeah, we go back to heights days. >> stephen: the character of hamilton, my understanding is your opinion part of the development of that character as well from the beginning. >> well, it's different. heights is different in the sense lin had been writing it for a long time before i joined the process and it really was experience of growing up in new york. you know, so it's a little different in the sense that i didn't have as much interaction with him in that specific development till later. >> stephen: but hamilton. with hamilton it was from the get. so we were tagging each other in and out of the process and the conversation was between me, lin and tommy or me, lin and andy and it was about building our choices and concepts together. >> stephen: what exists of the
offer or bring to that development experience? >> i mean, we both play hamilton's drive, but i think specifically for me the root of my drive is rooted in my own personal experience in my life. it's the fear of dying. >> stephen: you have a really interesting and inspiring story is that you are h.i.v. positive. >> yes. >> stephen: you've also beat cancer. >> yes. >> stephen: so you've h about your own death. (cheers and applause) how do you do that? how do you do chemo? how do you do treatments and perform at the same time? does it drain you or feed you? >> i actually was fortunate enough not to need chemotherapy. i just received radiation therapy. and it did reach a point where i
own humanity, right, we're not invincible, and that's when i started to be very open about what was going on because i needed to take time. i was gone for about two months. i was uber obsessed about getting back to my show and what the show became to me at that time was one of the reasons i was fighting to stay alive. i wanted it. (applause) >> stephen: so now you have been what some people used to call understudy is officially called an alternate. >> in this situation. >> stephen: you were an alternate for lin-manuel. >> yes. >> stephen: do you have an alternate? >> i do. >> stephen: is there a hazing process? (laughter) a spanking machine or anything like that? >> no, we stopped using that last year. >> stephen: all right. well, congratulations. it was lovely to meet you. have a great run. >> thank you (cheers and applause)
take an extra 15% off your purchase! and snag some kohl's cash while you're at it. now that's the good stuff. kohl's. hey, need fast heartburn relief? try cool mint zantac. it releases a cooling sensation in your mouth and throat. zantac works in as little as 30 minutes. nexium can take 24 hours. try cool mint zantac. no pill relieves heartburn faster. before taking his team to state for the first time... gilman: go get it, marcus. go get it. from bank of america to earn 1% cash back everywhere, every time. at places like the batting cages. ? [ crowd cheers ] 2% back at grocery stores and now at wholesale clubs. and 3% back on gas. which helped him give his players something extra. the cash rewards credit card from bank of america.
why are you deleting these photos? because my teeth are yellow. why don,t you use a whitening toothpaste? i'm afraid it,s bad for my teeth. try crest 3d white. crest 3d white diamond strong toothpaste and rinse... ...gently whiten... ...and fortify weak spots. use together for 2 times stronger enamel.
books, including "the tipping point," "blink," and "outliers." he now has a new podcast called "revisionist history." please welcome, malcolm gladwell! (band playing) >> stephen: good to see you again. >> good to see you again. >> stephen: haven't seen you for a few years. always fun to talk to that other people haven't thought of before. >> you're setting the bar awfully high. >> stephen: no pressure. (laughter) no, but "blink," th th the tippg point, you've sold a lot of books. if it doesn't work, you have fooled a lot of people, including me. you should write about how you do that.
fourth time. i was on the the other show. >> stephen: first time over here. >> repeat guest. >> stephen: you are a rhpeat guest. not here. we'll see. (laughter) well, i've got to ask you a question. you've got a new pod t.s.a. called "revisionist history" which i'm very interested in. why do a podcast? you're one of the last guys that sells books. you and j.k. rowling and then my (laughter) >> this is what hi friend charles always says you think with your eyes and you feel with your ears. it's a completely different -- >> stephen: hold on. (laughter) think eyes, feel ears. >> think about it, you write a book, you can communicate complicated ideas and people be grasp pem, but you can't move people emotionally. it's very hard. >> stephen: what!
your books make you think. >> think of how much easier it is to make a person laugh in person. laughing is not the bar. the high bar is crying. tears, making someone cry -- >> stephen: i disagree. you think it's easier to make someone laugh than cry? are you crazy? >> stephen: you don't want to make people cry. laugh so people practice itle more. ir is five moments in my ten episodes of "revisionist history" where i'm almost certain people will cry. i cry just when i think about those moments that's such a powerful thing. >> stephen: what you just said is better than what i do for a living. (laughter)
(applause) >> stephenwhat was the most powl interview you did with javier? >> stephen: he shared his own experience about facing death. >> that's what you remembered. you could do that interview a thousand times and you will laugh a thousand times but the thing you will remember is that emotion, and that, on a podcast, you could do that. and when i discovered that, that was like, wow, this is something i want to try. >> stephen: wow. you're getting a little emotional. >> stephen: well, i was thinking about why that is, why that moment was so moving, and i think it's rare for people to share of themselves honestly without any guard. >> yes.
because we protect ourselves from each other because we're afraid that people don't want to hear our real feelings. >> and in a public setting where he doesn't know anyone in the audience. but those sort of moments are so incredibly valuable and they're -- when you can break through all of that noise, when you're communicating, when you're trying to tell a story to somebody -- >> stephen: his story about sharing his own personal trials is more moving than jokes about orlando bloom's (bleep). >> yes. >> stephen: just wanted to get you on record. >> there's a moment in my second to last episode of my show where i'm interviewing this 98-year-old mennonite pastor from lancaster county, but there is a moment when he's talking and he's describing something and he starts to cry, and
because i'm trying to conduct an interview on tape, and i didn't want to sob. but it's the same thing. it's a moment where he just sort of cuts through all of the -- and he's talking about something that's absolutely at the center of his own kind of value system and belief and i think -- that moment made the whole ten episodes worth doing. >> stephen: what's at the center of your belief? like what is gladwell? if i cut you open and counted the rings, what's that center ring, malcom gladwell? >> i just want to explain things to people. >> stephen: you're a teacher. i think so, yeah. i come from a family of teachers. teachers and preachers is basically what my family is. your dad was a doctor. >> stephen: a doctor, yeah. o we're all --
>> stephen: i need your help with something before we go here is that -- we're coming up on the weekend and i'm going to be going to some cocktail parties like you do. i don't know that there will be 98-year-old mennonites there, but there will be a party. (laughter) i want to say, i was talking to malcom gladwell last night and he told me this thing that he hasn't said to somebody else about, something, and they'll say, did you hear, to malcom gladwell. what can i drop at the party this weekend and people go that's the best cocktail chatter i've ever heard. because you're cocktail chatter bait. what have you got? something good. what if i got? well, you know, the -- i'm going to plug my show. >> stephen: sure. the shows are all about my obsession about what's wrong with american higher education.
>> stephen: what is it? if you sum up the endowments of the seven ivy league schools plus stanford, do you know how much money that comes to? $140 billion. do you know how many low-income students are educated by the ivy league plus stanford? >> stephen: what? 11,000. 140 billion here, 11,000 there. if you can tell me why that's a good thing, i'm all ears. >> stephen: did you ivy league? >> university of toronto. >> stephen: i didn't either so we're both equally indignant about it. >> i want to see you! >> stephen: new episodes of "revisionist history" are available on itunes. malcolm gladwell, everybody!
starting at just $6.99 get never-ending value for lunch, today at olive garden. you drive with uber to make money for the things you want, and the things you need. for the places you want to be, and the people you want to be with. helping people get rides around your city is easy. just tap, and go. and only you decide when to call it a day. sign up now at (uber.com/drivenow) ? i feel too young to be this old. i just want to be her mom, not her full-time job. i'm the boss of me, but sometimes i need a little help.
lth care alliance to find out about senior care options. aging happens. we make it easier. >> stephen: that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be diane kruger, comedian with olympic fencer ibtihaj muhammad. now stick around for james corden and his guests hugh grant and bryce dallas howard. goodnight! (cheers and applause) (band playing) captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh