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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  September 30, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT

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sunday we'll look forward to those thanks for being with us colbert is next. captioning sponsored by cbs ? i have a pen i have an apple ? >> stephen: sorry i'm late. i got the apple and i got pen. you started without me? what the hell? i have been runni midtown manhattan at midnight looking for an apple and a pen. i had to go to a fruit stand and stationery store. what gives. i got them, now use them. don't give me that attitude. nobody will watch this is you're miming pen and fruit. use the apple, trust me ? i have a pen, i have fine apple ? >> stephen: you specifically said apple, okay. where the the hell am i supposed
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manhattan? all right, i'd like to apologize. it's late. my emotion emotions are frayed s hard on all of us. let's do this thing. let me show you how to do it ? i have a pen y have pineapple ? pineapple pen ape pen ? >> just mime it, just mime it, i-- just mime it. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." gh abby elliott. abd asa butterfield. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert!
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hey! oh, yeah. thank you very much, everybody. thank you, chris! what's on, jon? two, two, two strips of bacon. wow, nice. thank you, everybody. welcome to "the late show." i'm stephen colbert. happy friday, everybody. ready for the weekend? ( cheers and applause ) me, too. i didn't get a chance to talk news just out. it looks like donald trump may have broken the law. you shn be that shocked. "newsweek" has discovered that back in 1998, trump's company violated the embargo against cuba, illegally spending $68,000 on a business trip for representatives of trump hotels and casino resorts. no word yet on whether they were in cuba to scout real estate or find a fresh supply of beauty
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( laughter ) you run out after a while. you run ow after a while. to skirt the embargo-- this is what they found out-- trump's company didn't spend the money directly. instead, they illegally funneled it through a consulting firm who advised them "how to make it appear legal by linking it after the fact to a charitable effort." that's how they got caught. because no one would ever believe trump made a charitable effort. ( laughter ) still, this story shouldn't be a big problem for trump, unless there was some sort of swing state with a huge cuban population who hates anyone who would do business with castro. bu that shouldn't be a problem, unless there's video of him saying he would never invest in cuba from the same year he actually did. oh, there is? and we have it? and i'm pretending to talk to somebody off camera for dramatic
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>> as you know-- and the people in this room know better than anyone-- putting money and investing money in cuba right now doesn't go to the people of cuba. it goes into the pockets of fidel castro. (applause) he's a murderer. he's a killer, he's a bad guy in every respect. >> stephen: he's a man i'm proud to call my business partner. ( laughter ) mwah! this is a damning, corroborated scandal for trump with only one possible result: he goes up in the polls. but we shall see. speaking of donald trump, are you guys familiar with a meme called pepe the frog? for those who don't, here's a picture. here's pepe the frog. and pepe was just designated a
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anti-defination league because people have been abusing the image of a cartoon character to harass and spread hatred on social media," which is shocking, because i didn't know people needed any help spreading hatred on social media. but pepe didn't start as a symbol of hate. he was originally a character in an indie comic about a group of fun-loving stoners called "boys club." it's so hard for women to break into the world of cartoon stoners. here's what happened. then the internet discovered pepe and turned him into a meme, using him to convey emotions like sad, angry, smug-- and those are the only three emotions allowed on the internet these caiz. ( laughter ) soon, pepe became so big that celebrities like nicki minaj and katy perry were posting pictures of him. that's with he ran into the number one rule on the internet: when people online love a thing,
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on the internet-- decided pepe had gone too mainstream, so they decided to ruin him for everyone. as one self-described white nationalist put it, as part of a "campaign to reclaim pepe, we basically mixed him in with nazi propaganda"-- you know, like how when the hot tub gets too crowded, you reclaim it by taking a dump in it. ( laughter ) mmmm. mmmm. mmmm. more for me! mao here's the thing: this anti-defamation ban has got to be embarrassing to donald trump because both he and donald jr. have posted images of pepe dressed as trump. and using pepe just reinforces the continuing accusations that trump has courted the white supremacist vote, can which isn't fair. he did not court it. he just said everything they wanted to hear.
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eat an entire bag of fun-size snickers, and it's not depressing. it's festive! and everywhere you look, people are hawking spooky halloween swag. but one piece of merchandise has gotten complaints for being a little too spooky. it's the scary peeper creeper, "the suction-cup-equipped halloween decoration that mounts outside your window, simulating a man peering inside." and the website says it's a "scary, fun halloween decoration with realistic details." if it's such a realistic portrayal of a peeping tom, how come you can see both of his hands? >> jon: oh, man! oh, man! ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: oh, man! ( laughter ) no! >> stephen: now, you've got to act fast if you want to get your hands on the creeper, because
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so sad. now the peeper creepers are outside the store sadly looking in. ( laughter ) speaking of creepy, an australian man, after sitting down on a portable toilet, has been bitten by a venomous spider on the penis, for a second time. >> jon: that's nastiy! >> stephen: wow. >> jon: i don't know what he doing wrong, what he doing wrong? wha>> stephen: what are the odd? that must be like being struck by lightning twice-- on the penis. he was taken to the same hospital where they treated his first bite, and the man said "they got worried the first time. this time, they were making jokes." which proves the old saying: "spider bites you on the penis once, shame on you. spider bites you on the penis twice, that's hilarious." ( laughter ) remind me to never go to australia, by the way.
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doesn't agree saying: "i'm the most unlucky guy in the country at the moment" unlucky, sir, unlucky? you have been bitten twice in the penis by a spider. that's not a tragic tale. that is a superhero origin story. ? spider wang! spider wang! ? does whatever a spider can spins a web any size ? catches thieves with an open fly ? look out! here comes here comes the spider waaaang!? ( cheers and applause ) say hi to jon batiste and stay human, everybody. ? ? ? ( applause ) >> stephen: as you know, folks, i am a devout the
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show, i often miss church because i'm so busy not going. ( laughter ) gets in the way. and what i miss most about church, of course, is going to confession. so, i was wondering if i could get some things off my chest with you, the audience. you won't tell anybody, right? >> audience: of course not! >> stephen: you were pretty hesitant there. ( laughter ) this is "stephen colbert's midnight confessions." ? ? ? ( cheers and applause ) ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: standard disclaimer: these might not all be sins, but i do still feel guilty about them. okay, i'll be right back. ( organ music playing ) forgive me, audience.
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ran a marathon just to get a free cup of gatorade. laugh sometimes i worry that when i get to heaven, i won't have anything to talk about with george washington. "so, george, did god let you grow your real bath back, or what?" ( laughter ) i have never cleaned my oven. ( laughter ) i just move every few years. i eat trail mix to feel like an endurance athlete, while i'm really just binging on m&ms and peanuts. ( laughter ) ( laughter ) gotta keep training.
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i tell people i don't believe in casual sex, but the truth is, sometimes i don't wear a tie. ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( cheers ) ( laughter ) ( laughter ) ( coughs ) that second hand full was a mistake. ( laughter ) i like to impress people by saying i have a self-driving car. and they are impressed until they see brick on the accelerator. ( laughter ) during parent-teacher conferences, i stop paying attentions. ( laughter )
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"attentions" when i meant to say "attention." i'm going to start this joke over again. ( laughter ) during parent-teacher conferences, i stop paying attention. and the parents start to suspect i'm not really a teacher. ( laughter ) the first time i heard the word "brangelina," i thought it was a high-fiber cereal. ( laughter ) forgive me, audience. >> audience: we forgive you! >> stephen: thanks. we'll be right back with five hail marys and samantha bee.
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>> stephen: hey, welcome back, everybody. welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. ( cheers and applause ) wow. that is crowd is lit. that crowd is on fire! that is amazing. ( cheers and applause ) that's a friday crowd right there. amazing. welcome back. thank you, ladies and gentlemen. >> jon: yeah! >> stephen: these people-- these are people who are ready for the weekend right here. ( cheers ) well, we've got a big friday night reet for everybody because my first guest tonight is the very funny host of "full frontal" with samantha bee. please welcome samantha bee!
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? ? ? ( cheers and applause ) >> oh! i love a friday crowd,ed from crowd. >> stephen: isn't that nice. so nice to see you again. >> so nice to see you. so happy to be here. >> stephen: having you on the show is all luke a vacation for me pause you do an incredible congratulations, you just crush it. >> thank you so much. thank you so much. as i came here, i was kitting in the green room, and i remember you gave me the most beautiful gift i have kept from before show launched, you sent a beautiful gift basket-- whatever it was-- but you also sent a beautiful gift card. do you know what it said on it? "go get those bastards." >> stephen: that's right. that's what we'd say on "the daily show" when you went out to
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bastards? >> i look at it every day. there's my shining star. >> stephen: back on "the daily show "when we said get those baft arts it was people who believed in big foot. now we have people to go after this time. are you enjoying-- i mean the the show is great, but are you actually enjoying this campaign? because it's a double-edged sword because you get to make great jones about on the other hand, he could be president. >> "enjoy" is a strong word. >> stephen: yes. >> i mean, it is-- it's certain a buffet of wonderful things to draw upon to make a comedy show. >> stephen: uh-huh. >> i want it to be over so badly! ( cheers and applause ) i want to live my life! i want america to be happy again. >> stephen: well, were you nervous, like, were you never going into debate on monday?
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would come across as -- >> i was extremely nervous. we had terrible anxiety in our offices all day. we were all very pale. we're all very drawn. we were ceend of shivering. it was kind of terrible. >> stephen: how do you think it went? there are polls and there are people spinning either way. how do you think it went? >> i actually thought it went very well. i actually was very happy with the outcome. i enscwoid, you know, in after-- i felt that trump peeled away the layers of the onion-- i f small ways throughout the debate in a way that i really did-- i fell-- i felt quite-- i felt quite good about ta. that was nice. and then, of course, he went on "fox and friends" the next morning can reveed even more layers. so it was great. >> stephen: he said the fix was in. >> uh-huh, yeah, yeah, so we'll see how it all works out. ha-ha! we're going to be fine. >> stephen: next week is the the vice presidential debate.
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stakes. >> not as high-- still important. >> stephen: still important because either one of those people-- >> could be president. and in fact-- didn't-- i feel like donald trump has said that mike pence will be his de facto president. i mean, while he's busy making america great, mike's going to be taking care of all the policy and all that other ( bleep ). >> stephen: the word is donald trump jr said whoever is president will ever. >> maybe we should keep our eyes on him. >> stephen: they're not biggest fire brands met word, mike pence and tim kaine. >> maybe they'll have a banjo duel. >> stephen: banjo duel? i would watch that. >> that would be amazing. >> stephen: that would be fantastic. there is a slightly inbred quality there. >> i feel like that's a debate i cowed moderate, in some ways. >> stephen: copeople ever say
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debate." >> yes, but they don't mean it. >> stephen: yes, they do. >> they don't know what they're saying. >> stephen: yes, they do. >> i would disavow them of that notion quickly, unless it's a banjo debate. >> stephen: do you have any questions up to ask them? >> i just want to watch what they do and i want someone else to take care of business and do their jobs -- >> how about a fight in the pit? >> that would be amazing. i would appreciate that. let's grease them ( laughter ) bacon grease. >> stephen: you can do that. you can be grease girl. grease them up, and somebody else can moderate. "i'll be with you, in just a moment, anderson cooper." >> oh! >> stephen: talk about your sexy self. >> oh, look at that! look at that! ( cheers and applause ) see? why am i always-- my hands are doing this. >> stephen: you were holding up-- you were holding up imaginary breasts. >> i'm holding up myself. do you see my hair?
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>> stephen: you do. >> i have extra hair in there. >> stephen: that's extra. that's mott your hair? >> i like my hair, but they put extra hair in there so i look like a faded 1977s country music star like fallen on hard times and just, like, slid down the wall. >> stephen: sure. >> shoes are off. >> stephen: a little tammy wynette. >> a lil bit. i donated hair-- do you do this for the show or do you just do it for photo shoots? >> mow, i had never condition it before. i had e i donated that popeople at work. >> stephen: someone handed me this photo. i wasn't entirely sure what to make of it. is that what this is? >> oh, yeah. >> stephen: is that a curtain made out of your former air extensions. >> that's a curtain-- yeah. >> stephen: right there. >> we have our office set up like a cubicle matrix. so she pushed panels out so she could have help relations with other people and put my hair up as a beautiful curtain.
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having your hair up there does not add to the desire to have help relations with other people. she looks like a trophy-- >> it's not pubic hair, stephen. it's just hair-hair. >> stephen: can you get pubic hair extensions? >> i think you can get anything you want. >> stephen: really? >> yes, you can. >> stephen: you can. >> we live in that ceend of a world. >> stephen: can you explain why ryan lochte is in your office? >> for inspirational purposes and to -- >> why is there a naked ryan lochte in your office? >> he sits opposite a putin riding a bear. i like to mix it up for peep who come into my office -- >> is this your portrait or anyone can get this? >> no, no, it's just mine. it's about eight feet tall, and he's holding a spear-- it was, like, custom made for me. i don't know. >> stephen: where does one commission this? >> i wanted to set a tone. ( laughter ) do you know what i mean? >> stephen: for the staff. >> like, when you decorate your first office at a tv show, you
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you're coming from. >> stephen: we have to take a commercial break, can you stick around? >> yes. >> stephen: we'll be right back with sam bee. ? ? ? one smart choice leads to the next. ? the new 2017 ford fusion is here. it's the beauty of a well-made choice. ? ah, i'm in there as katie. i'll call you later i won't, i'll text you, because what am i your dad? "don't stay out too late!".
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this must be what antonio brown feels like when he's dancing in the end zone. touchdown antonio brown! [crowd cheering] this must be how lucas felt when he finally got katie's number. ?
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? ? power, power to the lord ? ? power, power to the lord ? ?
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joe plaia: every three days, someone in new hampshire is killed with a gun. mothers, sons, friends. and yet kelly ayotte continues to play political games instead of making new hampshire safer. when she has the chance to strengthen background checks, she voted no, backing the washington gun lobby instead. then - on a bill to keep suspected terrorists from getting guns, ayotte flip flopped.
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narrator: independence usa pac is responsible for the content of this advertising. pause. >> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back. we're here with our good friend, sam bee. are you willing to mach a prediction on what will happen in the election? >> oh, you mean-- i'll be because i'll be living in a cave until january. >> stephen: are you going to be broadcasting the night of the election? >> we are not. >> stephen: we're from the old school, we would do live shows-- all of us, at "the daily show "you, me, colbert report. >> we're doing a show next wednesday instead of monday so we can respond to v.p. debate. and we're bracketing the election. so we're doing a monday show anded with show. >> stephen: what! >> depending on what happens
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or the musicians from "titanic." we'll see. i don't know. i don't know what's going to happen. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: that's nice, that's nice. >> could go either way. >> stephen: are you going to invite-- are you going to invite me up into your door floating if the ocean or do i have to sink to the bottom of the ocean? >> you can come in my door any time. >> stephen: thank you very much. i have never had a woman say that to me before. >> oh, quote of the day, "you can come on my coor any time." >> sph lovely, handsome, and talented husband, jason. >> he's lovely and handsome and talented and i love him. >> stephen: there's a guy i know likes to get naked. >> he loves to disrobe. >> stephen: a lot of shot of him back on "the daily show "back in the day in underwear and thog. >> she is shooting season two of "the tour" and he is half naked in those as well in the worst underwear possible. >> stephen: is he that naked
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house. >> stephen: seriously. >> he is a big prude and i am free with myself and he thinks people are spying on us through our window and he has to be fully clothed. and i said they're not what interested. >> stephen: you and your husband are both from canada. are you canadian citizens? >> we're duly. we're both. ( applause ) thank you, citizenship. this will be my first time voting. i'm so ex it's a little bit emotional is there is it any way similar to canadian voting? is there anything different in canada about the way you vote? >> first of all, it's a more measured system up north. >> stephen: yeah? >> and it is a different system. this one fees a little more, i would say, urgeep. does that make sense to you? do you feel that? it's a bit more direct. >> stephen: yeah, i do. there's a woman in the pront row from toronto who said if-- >> oh, my gosh, hi! >> stephen: if trump wins i can crash on her house.
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that's so jeoperous of you. you're a nice person. ( applause ) you're a really nice person we're good people. >> stephen: sam bee, thank you so much for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> stephen: the the next episode of "full prontal with samantha bee airs this thursday on cbs. we'll be right back with abbey elliot.
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this is lynchburg, tennessee. this is how many people were born here. this is how many are named hiawatha kitty mcgee. this guy keeps the town dry. these guys would prefer it a little wet. this many are proud of what we make here. go around bragging about it. this is our town. for 150 years, the home of jack daniel's. if you can't get here, just look for one of our postcards. they look like this. just look for one of our postcards. it's here. the amazing new iphone everyone's excited about. and t-mobile is the best place to get it. your iphone deserves a network built for unlimited data. so you can use your new iphone 7
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are trying to deceive you. here's the truth: every time a new charter school opens, it drains money from the existing public schools. that's 400 million just last year - according to the state's own data. which means real cuts to our kids - in arts, technology, ap classes, pre-school, bus service and more. that's why question two's opposed by the massachusetts pta and school committees all across the state.
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( cheers and applause ) ? ? ? >> stephen: welcome to the show. >> thank you. thank you for having me. >> stephen: i understand that congratulationses are in order. >> oh, yes. >> stephen: you just got married. >> i just got married. >> stephen: when was this? >> i'm about a month in. got married. >> yeah, a coup of weeks ago. >> stephen: you're in the honeymoon, the first month after being married. >> yeah, it feels great. feels exactly the same but good. >> stephen: were you-- i was going to ask you if you were living together before you got married. >> yes, we were. >> stephen: totally inappropriate for me for asking. that's weird would you like me to cut that out of the interview? >> yes. >> stephen: do not cut that out. where did you go on your
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botswana, a safari. >> stephen: like the jeeps up and down? >> yes, land rover and looking for animals. we're staying in these, like, tentsz that were at these camp s. >> stephen: like camps or glamping tents? >> they're like glamping tents. >> stephen: tent with wifi. >> i've never been camping. >> stephen: you have never been camping? >> that's weird. this felt very rugged to me but i had moth to compare it to. >> stephdi >> we slept in a bed. >> stephen: you were not camping. >> amenities, fancy lotion displz was there a butler saying, "would you like pancakes in the morning? in. >> more or less. that's not what they do? >> stephen: that's the good kind of of camping. when you're on your honeymoon. you don't upon to the rough it. >> no, no exactly. it felt like hard work. we had to get up at 5:00 a.m. to go on the rides. >> stephen: the animals work
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down. >> stephen: i went on a safari once. did you do the big five. >> elephants, zebras, lions -- >> leopards. cape buffalo. >> buffalo. >> stephen: and what's the last one? rhino. >> we didn't see rhino. >> stephen: you didn't see rhino? >> no, pubut we saw baboons. we saw baboons one night-- actually it is in the morning. we were warned at night there are baboons around. >> stephen: it's africa. >> it's africa. one morning noises on top of our tent, and a baboon-- it looks like it had dropped into our tent. it was staring at us is there it looked like it was dropping in your tent? of it in your tent? >> well, we were screaming and we thought -- >> i'll take that as a no. >> we were-- we thought it had kicked in the netting, jumped in ask was somewhere in our tent. so we blew the air horn is there you had an air horn? >> yeah, that's 1911 on safari
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case of emergency. >> stephen: what happens when you blow air horn? >> like 20 people came running like, "oh, my god." it really was as if someone choking. it's for serious emergency. and we're leak, "we think a paboon came in." ( laughter ) is there and they said? >> "no, there's no baboon in here at all." >> stephen: were they acting like you were crazy? >> yeah, they're like, "yo in africa. you'rinyou're going to see some baboons. the second camp we went to there were rumors of this aggressive, horne, male-- like teenager elephant. >> stephen: i wasn't sure what the-- ( laughter ) i wasn't sure what the noun at the end of that sentence was going to be. >> like a horny elephant. >> stephen: sure, absolutely. shahad-- i was sent a photo, a selfie of yours. is this the one that goes with that? is that hip rye there?
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is there that's hip in the background. >> that's my husband. >> stephen: you can't sell hose at home depot anymore, the peeping tom elephants. ( laughter ) so you don't actually look what scared. you actually looked like-- >> no, i was sobbing. i was sobbing. this was kind ofav my husband copied me down. but i said why did you cothis to me. >> stephen: is that your husband? >> that's my husband. >> stephen: he's kind of adorable. >> thank you, i think so. i did say, "why did you do this to me?" as if he had with elephant. the horny, male elephant that was stalking us. >> stephen: the new movie is called "better off single." >> "better off single." >> stephen:y understand we have a clip here. you can explain what's happening in this clip before we show it? do you need to explain what's happening? >> this is when i meet, my character angela, meets her new boyfriend, played by aaron tare, evailt, and they meet on a plane.
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>> date. >> yeah? >> definitely. she had me at emasculation. >> you're a natural. gretchen, 30, enjoys lying about her age being sensitive, smarty and funny posting one picture taken 12-15 years ago. >> without question she will look that good in person, without question. take her out tonight. >> tonight? >> yeah. >> actually, i already have plans tonight and she is out on work release so what will be pretty hard it to schedule. >> too bad. she is really and they're also lookag his online dating profile. >> stephen: did you do a lot of that before you got married. did you date a the love people online? >> no, i didn't at all. >> stephen: me, either. >> you didn't. >> stephen: i got married wif years ago. it didn't exist at the time. >> that would be weird. >> stephen: congratulations on being married. we actually got you a wedding present. >> did you?
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and we might have gone to your registry to get you something nobody got you on your registry. >> oh, my gosh, there are still a lot left. thank you. >> stephen: or we might have gotten you something that you don't want. ( laughter ) okay? and i'd like you to decide whether-- which one you think it is. >> oerk! >> stephen: here's a baseball bat. >> uh-huh. >> stephen: and i'd like to you-- >> is this one of the gifts. >> stephen: you can keep theba >> stephen: the baseball bat is do you want to keep this or do you want to trade it up for something else if it's not something on your registry? if it's not something on your registry, we'll get you the thing on your registry. if it is something on your rengistry, you will have destroyed it. your choice. >> oh... >> stephen: it's nice, or it's not. >> i think i have on smash it. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: because the odds
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>> stephen: right. >> oh, is it? ( laughter ) okay. >> hold on, hold on. >> okay, oh, yes! thank you! >> stephen: this is just for show, by the way. it's probably not like-- >> this is leak a snorkeling mask. >> stephen: yup. you can change your mind if you want. >> i'm have conflicting feelings. >> stephen: or smash it. ( cheers and applause ) >> i'm sorry. >> stephen: would you like to know what it was? >> oh, no! i loved that goblet! ( laughter ) no one bought any of those. did i really smash it? >> stephen: the reason why no one got them for you is because they're really expensive. >> i know. it was really wishful thinking. >> stephen: it probably didn't break.
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oh! >> audience: oooh! ( applause ) >> that's how my heart feels right now. >> stephen: we got you the whole set! >> oh! you did! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: "better off single" opens next friday. abby elliott, everybody! we'll be right back with asa butterfield.
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the outside corporate interests bankrolling question two are trying to deceive you. here's the truth: every time a new charter school opens, it drains money from the existing public schools. that's 400 million just last year - according to the state's own data. which means real cuts to our kids - in arts, technology, ap classes, pre-school, bus service and more.
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join them in voting no on question two. ( band png ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: snuck up on me. snuck up on me. welcome back, everybody. you know my next guest from "the boy in the striped pajamas," "ender's game," and "hugo." now he is the leading man in "miss peregrine's home for peculiar children." please welcome, asa butterfield! ? ? ?
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>> hello! ( cheers and applause ) those guys are good. >> stephen: aren't they wonderful? >> amazing. funcy. >> stephen: that's' good description. you have kind of a mohawk. are you moving towards a mohawk or is that a mohawk growing out? >> it was a mohawk. i did a film a coup of months ago, i was playing a punk, bass it. >> stephen: from the 70s? >> no, modern-day punk from new wave. he comes in this dome and gets introduced into punk music. >> stephen: a dome? >> like the geodiseasic dome. he lives in there with his nutty grandma and had a kind of acealated existence, and so the punk music just blows his mind, basically. >> stephen: did you like it? did you get a lot of attention with a mohawk walking down the street?
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impression it gave off walking into stores and stuff. everyone was double take. i juan used for it for a while. >> stephen: you don't seem leak a dangerous person. >> no i have a nice, innocent vibe around me and the mohawk was like, "what's going on in? >> stephen: tips you over, could go psychoany moment. that's a good feeling. how old are you? >> 19. >> stephen: oh, to be 19 again. laugh and you just got your first apartment, didn't you? >> i did. >> stephen: is that as adults apartment, living in-- >> london. >> stephen: nice. >> it is. i mean, i'm enjoying it. i've had a pretty independent life the last year just kind of on the road, acting so i've been by myself. moving out is fun. getting my own furniture, like, painting walls. it took a while. it did attack a while. i was about four months before i had a couch, so i just had, like, cushions on the floor. i got a tv. that was the first thing i got, tv. >> stephen, of course,, of course, you're 19.
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you need a tv. let's talk about the movie tim burton. johnny death penalty is not in this tim burton movie, right? $ly, can it be a tim burton movie if johnny depp is not in it? >> johnny is not in this one, sadly. >> stephen: there are a lot of pale, people, right? >> lots of pale people. lots of white make up and, yeah, i mean, tim burton movie-- i mean, tim is unique in its style. just working with him. i was a massive tim fan before i did this so just being on set watching what he does is awesome. >> stephen: what's he like as a director? is he very hands on, or is he like, "just do what you want?" >> it's a bit of both. he wants to hear your point of view and he's very collaborative. if he likes what you're could go you get an immediate reaction.
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give you direction. he doesn't-- he doesn't finish his sentences so you kind very far to know what he's going to say. >> stephen: what do you mean? do you do an impression of him? >> "so if you could coa little bit more of... you know. and just not so much... yeah, right?" and hen he walks off. ( laughter ) and you go, "yeah, all right, tim." ( applause ). >> stephen: and do you know what he means? >> it takes a while. it takes a coup of weeks to get on his wave length and eventually do you. it's kind of chaotic. but it's so much fun. wow. >> stephen: it's the story of-- i mean, it's a home for peculiar children. we have a clip here. do we need to set this up? >> this is where my character is at this home can he's kind of coming to terms with the crazy ( bleep ) that's going down. >> stephen: all right, jim, let's show them. >> that happens every day?
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>> would you mind tying that rope around my waist. right, promise to hold on tight. ( applause ) >> pretty cool. >> stephen: does everybody have a special power? >> everyone has a special power. >> stephen: do you have a special power? >> i do have a superb power. it's not quite as immediately exciting as other ones. >> stephen: are you going to tell me what it is? >> i don't know. do you want to know? do you guys want to know.
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monsters. yeah soern else they're envib, but to me they are terrifying. yeah. >> stephen: wow. and to fiend out what the monsters are, we have to see the movie, right? >> that's right. that's right. go watch it. ( applause ). >> stephen: nice to meet you. >> thank you pleasure. >> stephen: thanks for being here. "miss peregrine's home for peculiar children" is in theaters now. joe plaia: every three days, someone in new hampshire is killed with a gun. mothers, sons, friends. and yet kelly ayotte continues to play political games instead of making new hampshire safer. when she has the chance to strengthen background checks, she voted no, backing the washington gun lobby instead. then - on a bill to keep suspected terrorists from
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and that puts us all at risk. narrator: independence usa pac is responsible for the
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>> stephen: that's it for "the late show," everybody! tune in next week when i have emily blunt, mindy kaling, and armie hammer. james corden is next. have a great weekend! good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh ? are you ready y'all to have some fun ? feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ? your hands on your arms they'll be there at night ? it's the late, late show >> reggie: ladies and gentlemen, all the way from tuscaloosa,


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