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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  October 18, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT

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locations. for a lot of you. >> thank you for watching. captioning sponsored by cbs >> announcer: attention, samsung galaxy 7 users. recenlty, we issued a recall of our galaxy note 7 smartphones. we are providing return kits in order to ensure your safety, along with this instructional video. step one: put on the safety gloves included with the return kit. step two: put on another pair of dplostles step three: tell your wife you love her. now you're ready to start packing! step foyer: ging oral pick up phone using the complimentary
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i'm sorry, we're all a little on edge here. step five: wrap the box in a heat shield. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes nick offerman. wayne gretzy. and morgan spurlock. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york
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>> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen! thank you very much! hey, everybody! what's going on? hey, what's up? thanks everybody. welcome to the "late show." thanks so much. nice to be here. oh, my gosh. time with every night. thank you so much for being here, everybody. welcome to the "late show." i'm stephen colbert, your host. it is another beautiful day in the trumpy hood. another beautiful day for him to show you his wood. allegedly. there is continuing fallout an grab-up from last week's
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did you know-- trivia question-- did you know there is someone else running for president? hillary clinton. it's true, you can look it. every day, we get another revelation about clinton from wikileaks. any more, and we're going to need wiki-depends. can't even tell i'm wearing a pair. the latest-- the latest wiki-wiki-leaky-leaky, is a list of the vice presidenil it was just released. it includes political superstars like minnesota senator amy klobuchar, and secretary of agriculture tom vilsack-- "the vilsack attack." also in this wiki-leak-released list are business leaders like apple c.e.o. tim cook and starbucks c.e.o. howard schultz. but, apparently, hillary decided against schultz because the race already had one pumpkin-spiced
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on the full list, and clinton campaign chair john podesta organized them, apparently, into women, latinos, african americans, and military and business leaders. groups he called "rough food groups." which, of course, can only mean one thing-- john podesta eats people. probably could mean other things, too, but that's the first thing i thought of. coincidentally, i just got my hands on donald trump's list of potential v.p.s. it's tom brady, meatloaf, all my kids-- not tiffany-- and a hand-drawn picture of boobs. pretty good. pretty good likeness. >> jon: i see that.
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week bob dylan won the nobel prize in literature. ( applause ) yeah. i'm on board. i love it! i love it. this is great for bob, and it finally proved someone can understand what he's saying. there's just one problem-- the nobel academy says they can't find bob dylan to give him his prize. he could be anywhere, but if i were looking for him tonight i might try the kiva auditorium in albuquerque, new mexico, because that's where he is. grab him during "a hard rain's gonna fall." that's, like, a fifteen-minute song. you guys like dylan? >> jon: yeah, yeah. >> stephen: dylan is amazing. i love his lyrics. you have seen him lately? he does mumble a lot and he
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instrumentitationave song. i saw him at madison square garden it was, like, i don't know, $200 a ticket or something, and he played alternative tunes, too, like hit songs. and you also can't understand what he's singing, so you don't know what song he's playing at any time of day. like, the entire thing, i hear him say, "hey." is this "tambourine man?" is he doing "tambourine man" right now? i heard a hey. i can't tell. wait, he said, covering rod stewart's "maggie may." someone, pass out a glossary! now, the nobel committee says they will celebrate with or without kill an. "if he doesn't want to come, he won't come. it will be a big party in any case." someone just won the nobel passive-aggressive prize. meow! meow! ( applause )
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actually, maybe it's better if he doesn't come. nobody likes the guy at the party who picks up a guitar and starts playing bob dylan songs. ( laughter ) anyway, nobel people, if you really can't find him, just play one of his songs in a commercial. his lawyers will find you. now say hello to some actual tambourine men, jon batiste and stay human. ( cheers and applause ) ? ? ? ( cheers and applause ) ? tambourine man play a song for me ? >> stephen: jon, do you know why i'm excited? you can guess why i'm excited? >> jon: snap, why that?
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ed sullivan theater after the presidential debate. show time, baby. there is no time like show time. we're going to do it. >> jon: we're going to get them good. >> stephen: yeah. where were we? thank you, thank you, tambourine man. folks, it's been 11 days since we heard donald trump on the gr donald trump, at least one arm's length. but one person is standing by him, his wife and strategic eye shadow reserve, melania trump. ( laughter ) yesterday, melania did interview for both fox news and cnn. she would have gone on msnbc, but steve kornacki gets jealous when another supermodel is on the network. the man is an adonis. now, last night on the anderson
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explained who she really blames for donald trump's behavior. >> they were kind of a boy talk, and he was lead on, like egg on, from the host to say dirty and bad stuff. >> stephen: yes, it was all billy bush's fault. ( laughter ) now i know why they were on a bus. it's easier to throw billy underneath it. ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( cheers ) so, let me get this straight. melania's defense of donald trump-- the man who wrote "art of the deal--" is that he got outmaneuvered by a guy who has been deemed by the "today show" to be unqualified to watch someone else make a festive fall frittata?
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donald trump, we have it tow keep him away from heavy hitters like mario lopez. who put a picture of steve kornacki up there? just imagine what impact billy will have once trump has the nuclear codes? >> hey, mr. trump, this is me, billy bush. i think it's time to teach finland a lesson. what would you do? >> i would bomb the (bleep) out of 'em. i'd blow up every single inch, there would be nothing left. >> stephen: gone, finland.( now, these melania interviews were themselves a surprise because we've barely seen her since the republican convention, where she plagiarized michelle obama. but now that she has resurfaced, we at the "late show" want in. so please welcom live via satellite, melania trump. thank you.
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mrs. trump, thank you for joining us. ( laughter ) >> my pleasure, stephen. and i want you to know we are completely alone. there is no one else in the room coaching me. ( laughter ). >> stephen: okay, okay. good to know. now, we haven't seen you much since your speech at the convention. >> yes, that is my choice. they did not send me to live in an undisclosed location. i a my life is not a photo op. ( laughter ) >> stephen: so, okay. how are you dealing with the pressure of the campaign? >> stephen, why are we talking about me? we need to focus on important issues facing our nation, like how the election is rigged. >> stephen: really? who's rigging it?
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international bankers, amd billy bush. >> stephen: billy bush. so you don't blame your husband for what he said? >> yes, i do. i said to my husband that those words are very unappropriate. plus, he said them on a bus. disgusting. ( laughter ) this is not the man i married. >> stephen: well, have you forgiven your husband? >> yes. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: you have? yes, yes, apparently because he-- he explained it was locker room talk. i did not know this, but when american men gather to sport, they always brag of grabbing women by the billy bush. ( laughter ) >> stephen: i'm sorry. the billy bush?
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>> stephen: boosh. okay. so you've forgiven him. i have morthan forgiven, stephen. i have forgotten >> stephen: it's hard to believe anyone can forget what he said. >> forget what was today? >> stephen: okay, but numerous women have said they were groped by your husband, as well as beauty pageant contestants who say he walked in on them while they were naked. >> those are all except the ones where there's videotape. then it's locker room talk. >> stephen: explain something to me, how is it locker room talk walking in on pageant contestants? >> it's a women's locker room. stephen. my husband is kind. he is a gentleman. >> stephen: okay, he's a gentleman, then why did he say he didn't do it because they were too ugly?
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and these women, woof. am i right. up top. >> stephen: i can't high-five you over satellite. mrs. trump, are you all right? >> i am fine. i'm certainly not blinking out in morse code that someone else is in the room telling me what to say. ( laughter ) >> stephen: okay. do you think these scandals will doom your husband's chances among women? >> no. women know it's boy talk. bad boys, bad boys, what you going to do? ( laughter ) >> stephen: i hate to point this out, but your husband isn't a boy. he's a 70-year-old man. >> boys, men-- it's the same. no matter how nice they seem, secretly they're all foul-mouthed billy-bush-grabbing pigs. i'm talking about your husband, your brother, the pope, luke skywalker, all of them. >> stephen: all men are like this? >> yes. they're all animals. if only a woman could be president.
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>> stephen: well, i don't know how to say this, i mean, melania, actually, hillary clinton is a woman. why don't you just vote for her? >> aaahoh! i can't hear you, stephen. oh, no, our connection is breaking up. >> stephen: melania trump, everybody. we'll be right back with nick offerman and his technicolor. dream bear your car insurance policy is 22 pages long. did you read every word? no, only lawyers do that. so when you got rear-ended and needed a tow, your insurance company told you to look at page five on your policy.
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spent 21 years in the navy, defending america. if i only showed up half of the time, i'd have been court-martialed. but that's what senator kelly ayotte did. she missed nearly half of her homeland security hearings. vo: on critical homeland security hearings, ayotte was mia... a washington fundraiser. for ayotte collecting campaign cash comes first. bob hillery: when it comes to fighting terrorism, fifty percent doesn't cut it. afscme is responsible for the content of this advertising.
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( cheers and applause ) my first guest is an actor, author, and woodworker. his new book is "good clean fun: misadventures in sawdust at offerman woodshop." please welcome back to the show, nick offerman. ? ? ? ( applause ) >> that's a nice piece. >> stephen: that is a nice piece we have over there, isn't it? look at that lovely lady over there. >> nice joinery. >> stephen: for the people who didn't join us last time nick was on. that's the end table he made to have on set here. it's gorgeous. and sturdy, too, sturdy. >> thank you. >> stephen: i wouldn't-- i wouldn't trust any end table you couldn't stand on. >> no, you could park a prius on that thing. ( laughter ). >> stephen: but would you? >> i would not.
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welcome back to the show. nice to see you again. >> thank you, good to see you. >> stephen: quick question about the beard can we? >> sure. >> stephen: is that too personal? >> no, bring it on. >> stephen: for some men, growing a beard you have to be patient. is having a beard not a decision for you? having a beard, you're so associated. >> thank you. i hate shaving is i guess the short of it. >> stephen: just the face? >> yes, just the ( laughter ). >> stephen: because that's my favorite part to shave. every place else is a pain. then you put the after-shave in and it stings like hell, man. it stings. anyway, thanks very much, thanks very much. >> no, it's my pleasure. i like to present myself as mother nature intended. ( laughter ) >> stephen: all right. can't do that on cbs, i'm afraid. now, i'm a cubs fan upon you're
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we're taping this before the game tonight. >> that's right. >> stephen: in l.a. how are you handling the stress? >> well, you know, i have-- i have a compart mentallization system. like, when i allditioned for the role of iran swanson, it took five months to get the job, so for that five months i had to put that information in this drawer that-- that's not attached to a motion. so i know t happen in the coming weeks that would be very good for my baseball team. but i-- i'm not attaching emotion to it. and -- >> when do you attach the emotion to it? ( laughter ) you've loved and lost, is what you're saying. and now you're afraid to feel. >> i suppose so. ( laughter ) i've-- i've become inured to feeling. >> stephen: how do you stay so zen about this? you have a sen say, right? you dedicate some of this to
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means teacher in japanese, in theater school-- >> stephen: that's what a lot of parents say when they find out their kids are going to theater school. "where is your son?" "in theater school-- ha-ha." >> in theater school in champagne, illinois, there was a gentleman who taught tea ceremony, and black ink i don't know how he ended up in champagne, but we were lucky to have him. and he and i really hit it off. i would help him in his garden and he would teach me about zen-- he blew my mind. we were pulling weeds and he said the notion to pull weeds is the same thing that causes us to go to war. and i said ( inhails ) please-- please elaborate.
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our good sprowts to survive and receive all the nutrients and the sun, and we want to kill the bad sprowts that are taking all of our oil and so forth. ( laughter ) >> stephen: did you find a war hawk zen master? that doesn't sound necessarily antiwar? >> he is-- he is eye wonderfully sweet artist. and he was simply -- >> who will kill you if you try to take his oil. paraphrasing of his lesson. >> stephen: okay. >> he married megan and i with a tea ceremony. >> stephen: really? >> yeah. >> stephen: that's delightful. >> he gave me some of the greatest lessons of my life that i didn't know until later would just always stick with me. and it's a lot of what this book is about. woodworking for me is where i can always maintain the attitude of a student, which is what his greatest lesson to me ever was. >> stephen: i want to find out
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and i want to talk about the book and i want to talk about wood. we'll be right back with more nick offerman. ( applause ) ? ? ? sick of getting gouged for limited data? introducing t-mobile one. one price, all unlimited for everyone. get 4 lines for $35 per month each with unlimited 4g lte data. switch today. (foot steps) ?
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( applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody. we're back here with the bearded nick offerman. nick, you've got a new book-- you didn't want to put it down on the thing? there's nothing to use as a coaster? >> there's no coaster. >> stephen: you actually have a present for me. >> what do you been that? >> stephen: you made these for me-- i actually haven't seen these until this second. i'm thrilled. it's beautiful wooden coasters. can we get a shot of that?
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>> smolted maple. >> stephen: what's that mean? >> you see the dark lines? >> stephen: that's spalting? >> yes, it's a fungus. when the tree falls and moisture begins to seep in, specifically in maple, it gets these cool lines. and if you mill it soon enough, you just get a cool pattern. if you leave it for a couple more months, then it rots away and it's garbage. >> stephen: wow. if a tree falls in no one's there to mill it, does it make a coaster? >> exactly. >> stephen: would you put that over there. there you go, sir. the book is called "good clean fun." and it's your joy and love of working with wood and what it does for you to do it. do you have a personal relationship to wood? >> sure. the older i get the more my intimacy with wood consumes a
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>> stephen: talking about the cubs for a second here, what are baseball bats made out of? >> primarily ash. >> stephen: that's exactly right. point for the man with the bird. >> we're in a little bit of trouble because the emerald b beetle is destroying the ash population of the planet. louisville slugger's in trouble for real. >> stephen: are nuclear weapons even on the table with this one?be bats. what can be done? i'm not joking. what can be done to save the ash tree? >> there's been no solution. europe is almost and i think of ash trees. >> stephen: they don't play baseball so it doesn't matter. >> that's true. but ash is used to make hurling bats. >> stephen: a harley, there yo you go. we have some wood here. and i understand you have a personal relationship to wood, and i wanted to get your feel business wood. what does it say to you? here's a piece of macog me.
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mahogany-- how does it speak to you? how would you characterize it? >> it's like royalty. if you respect it, then you will not be punished. ( laughter ) and when treated with adoration, it gives off a gentle sheen. ( laughter ) >> stephen: okay. not familiar with royalty giving off a sheen. but thank you. ( applause ) i like it. would you ever paint this? would you ever paint t >> no, i would oil it. >> stephen: here's cedar. here's cedar. >> this is cedar. this is western red cedar. >> stephen: wait a second. ( laughter ) but from the eastern slope of the western red cedar. can you really smell what kind of cedar it was when you did that? >> middle on a tuesday morning. ( laughter ) >> stephen: it's a pisces. ( laughter ) ( applause ). >> yeah, you can smell it.
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has a very specific -- >> oh, you smelled what it wasn't. >> yes. >> stephen: you smelled what it wasn't. that's very zen. >> western red cedar is what i make my coo news out of so i know the smell very well. >> stephen: you're going to hook me up with a canoe plan. >> cedar is more like a dependable hippie. >> stephen: what is a dependable hippie, my friend? its feet. it doesn't take anything too heavily. but then when the going gets tough, when you face into the headwind, you can count on it. it has an incredible tensile strength. >> stephen: wow. >> also like a hippie, it's very fragrant. ( laughter ). >> stephen: another and last, let's bring it home. let's bring it home. ( applause ) let's bring it home. let's bring it home with hardwood, okay?
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maple is what i would call the valedictorian of the cabinet woods, being walnut, cherry, mahogany, and maple. it will pass any test you exact upon it. and it's a smart wood. it can-- it can outsmart all of the other students. ( laughter ) in the woodshop. >> stephen: how does it outsmart them? how does that's between me and mother nature. ( laughter ) it's cellular. >> stephen: it's cellular? >> yeah. >> stephen: cellular. i've cooked over maple. have you ever cooked over maple? >> just chips. >> stephen: yeah, yeah. >> on my charcoal. >> stephen: i've cooked over fire made of pure main expel it makes your steak taste like a waffle. >> no kidding. >> stephen: it does. i'm not joking. i'm going to check out "good clean fun."
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nick offerman, everybody. thanks. ? ? ? ( applause ) on the road again ? [ rear alert sounds ] [ music stops ] ? just can't wait to get on the road again ? [ front assist sounds ] [ music stops ] [ girl laughs ] ? on the road again ? ? like a band of gypsies we go down the highway ? [ beetle horn honks ] for less than you expected. hurry in and lease the 2017 passat s for just $199 a month. can a toothpaste do everything well? this clean was like pow! it added this other level of clean to it. 6x cleaning* my teeth are glowing. they are so white. 6x whitening** i actually really like the 2 steps. step 1, cleans. step 2, whitens. every time i used this together,
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you know me. that's new hampshire kelly ayotte. this is washington kelly ayotte. she voted for 20 billion dollars in tax breaks for the big oil companies. but she voted against letting you refinance your student loans. ayotte voted to give a huge tax breaks to millionaires. while 95% of us... got nothing. kelly ayotte. you need to know in washington. she's not working for new hampshire.
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? ? ? ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey. is a sports icon and possibly the greatest athlete of all the time. give it up for the white tornado. the main wayne. the man-ada from canada. wayne gretzky. wayne, thanks for being here,
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wayne gretzky. ( cheers and applause ) >> a lot of canadians, right. >> stephen: what did you say? >> a lot of canadians here. >> stephen: a lot of canadians, yeah. we pack them in so they'll take us back after november. for those who may not be familiar with wayne gretzky's career. four stanley cup wins, most goals of all time, most assists league-wide for the nhl. and 10 trophies for most points in a season. ( cheers and applause ) >> now you got me nervous. >> stephen: i got you nervous. i'm nervous. so you've been called "the great one" since you were 10 years old, i understand. >> yeah. >> stephen: no pressure. ( laughter ) how did that happen? what did that mean to you at 10?
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scored 400 goals when i was 10, and some guy decided -- >> you scored 400 goals when you were 10? >> yeah. i played with some good players. >> stephen: yeah, yeah. >> i played defense. >> stephen: okay. >> so i got 400 goals. and this guy wrote in a little town, he wrote in a paper, everybody should have their own nickname. a player of that caliber should have a name and he said we'll call him, "the greatest one." and i thought oh, my goodness i don't want that and it stuck with me my whole life. >> stephen: did you feel you had to live up to it when you became a pro? >> i felt the responsibility of playing well. each and every night, the cities you played nthe people paid to see you play and you want to play the best you can play. believe me, i had a lot of bad games, but all in all, i am pretty proud of my career. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: the game, as you see it now-- when you look at hockey now, has the game change? >> oh, yeah. the players are bigger.
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the equipment's better. they're better coached. it's a great time for hockey right now. our sport is in a good position, it's in a good place. i'm a fan. i love watching these kids play. >> stephen: how do you think you would do in today's league? >> i'm 55. >> stephen: i mean, when you were younger. >> oh, okay. >> stephen: obviously, you won't be in the top 10 now. but when you were younger-- if you were a younger man in today's league, would it be tougher or easier? >> oh, it would be a lot tougher. >> stephen: why? >> because the players are hockey sense i would have found my way through it all. >> stephen: your hockey sense. >> i didn't have the size or the power or the speed. i had to use my knowledge of the game, and that's what made me successful as a player. so i somehow would find a way today, but, obviously, it would be tougher. >> stephen: was there-- so many people look up to you. who was the player you looked up to? >> there was only one, gordie ho, with e.
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>> mr. hockey. >> the greatest person, the greatest player. i say this all times to people, sometimes you meet your idol and your mom and dad say, hour, was it? was he good? was he nice? was he friendly?" sometimes it's not that great. i met gordie howe when i was 10 and i said to my dad, it was bigger and better than that i ever imagined. what was really great about it, i got two hours off of school that day, and i got a new suit. got after the banquet. >> stephen: how much longer after this? >> i was 10 in that photo. >> stephen: how long before you were playing pro hockey. >> seven years. >> stephen: seven years did you ever play against gordie howe. >> we played together in the world pleeg all star game. that was fun. gordie was in the locker room, and my sweater was so big-- i was 145 pounds that year-- and the jersey was so big, gordie took these stitches and he stitched up my jersey to make it
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gordie howe did it before the game. that's how great he was. the book is called "99: stories of the game." 99, obviously, was your jersey number. are there 99 stories in here? >> approximately. it was so hard to pick exactly what we wanted. it is the ninth anniversary of the national hockey league right now, so i wanted the kids to read about the cities and the arenas and the plaers and the teams, the franchises, some of the great stories of the players who pye was so good to me. i wrote-- sat down and wrote something. hopefully kids will love it. >> stephen: one other thing about gordie howe. i understand when you broke his all-time scoring record he was there. >> yeah. he was-- he was always around-- every time i got close to one of his records i would call and invite gordie and colleen to be part of it. sometimes i would get so nervous because he was in the stands, i could go a week without scoring,
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i have to score a goal here so gordie howe can go home." that was pressure. >> stephen: did he travel around with you guys? >> yes, he did. he's a wonderful man. and i loved him being around, let's face it. >> stephen: was it also hockey or do you think there could have been another sport you could have played? >> my first love and my passion was baseball. as a kid, i grew up-- i loved the game of baseball more than anything. i just wasn't quite as good at baseball as i was hockey. so i think i made the decision. >> stephen: now, i understand you actually ran into the cleveland indians in a hotel the other day. >> yes, toronto. >> stephen: gave them a few tips. >> i gave them a couple of poirnts and both guys hit home run. >> stephen: so if they win the series, you get to touch the trophy. >> yeah, people in toronto will be upset. >> stephen: "99: stories of the game" is available now. the great one, wayne gretzky, everybody. thank you so much, wayne. lovely to meet you.
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( applause ) ? ? ?
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time a new charter school opens, it drains money from the existing public schools. that's 400 million just last year - according to the state's own data. which means real cuts to our kids - in arts, technology, ap classes, pre-school, bus service and more. that's why question two's opposed by the massachusetts pta and school committees all across the state. join them in voting no on question two. you know me. that's new hampshire kelly ayotte. this is washington kelly ayotte. e voted for 20 billion dollars in tax breaks for the big oil companies. but she voted against letting you refinance your student loans. ayotte voted to give a huge tax breaks to millionaires. while 95% of us... got nothing. kelly ayotte. you need to know in washington. she's not working for new hampshire.
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? ? ? ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody. my next guest is the academy award-nominated filmmaker of "supersize me." please welcome morgan spurlock. ? ? ? ( applause ) >> stephen: well, nice to see you again. >> great to see y >> stephen: it's been a long time. everybody knows you from "supersize me" and your shows on cnn and elsewhere. you started in feature films, though, right? >> i did. my very first movie out of college i walked on "the professional." >> stephen: the one with natalie portman. >> so very glamorous as a p.a. i was up on 96th street and a police horse goes riding through the horse, and they go, "morgan, will you take care of
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and i'm out there shoveling the lefted overs from the police horse and i'm like, "man, this film making is glamorous." >> stephen: any film you make is a step up from that. you have tackled tough subjects -- fast food, prison, migrant farming. but also a documentary about one direction. >> yes. that -- >> this one direction be insulted that they're included in that list? >> i feel like those boys needed, you know, a real exp them. >> stephen: how do you think they'd do in prison? >> they would be very popular. ( laughter ) >> stephen: popular, popular. you've put yourself through some hell doing what you call participatory journalism. >> the lord's work i like to call it. >> stephen: the lord's work. you have ever thought about doing a documentary about what it's like to spend a whole day at the spa. >> that's the next one.
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>> stephen: you need it because your movie right now is called. >> "rats." >> stephen: and it's been called by you or somebody else, a horror documentary. >> yes. i love horror films. i grew up loving horror films. i grew up in west virginia, and my parent in the 70s took me to see movies you should never take children to. i had terrible parents. the "exorcist" "jaws," "scanners." when michael irons made that changed my life forever. >> stephen: how old were you? >> nine. come on, stop judging! >> stephen: they're judging your parents. they're not judging you. >> well, they're terrible people. but that was the moment that made meantime it to make movies forever. >> stephen: why a documentary about rats? why cowe need to know more about rat? >> because they're evil and scary. >> stephen: are they evil and scary? >> i think we are so scared of them as humans -- >> stephen: most people don't like rat.
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and i think doing a film about them, but shot like a horror film, scored like a horror film, plays into our fears. >> stephen: it absolutely is. we have a clip here. and in this clip, it's new york city? >> it is right downtown, probably 40 blocks from here. >> stephen: and these are people looking for rats? rat catchers. >> there is a guy named bobby corrigan, the guru of rat on earth. if you have a rat question, call him. he has a rat academy in new york-- it's true-- and he's taking the mes academy on a rat safari. >> stephen: jimmy, let's go to the rat safari. >> here we go. >> thousands of rats running around, thousands of them. >> kick that bag right there. he were they come. >> if you come late at night, they're running across the street and everything. >> they say we don't have a rat problem. >> oh, my gosh! >> whoa! >> there's always more. >> unbelievable. >> look at all the young ones. >> there are more rats in new
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>> stephen: is that true? are there more rats in new york city than there are people? >> i think there are more rats in this theater than there are people. ( laughter ) >> stephen: let's find out. >> oh! >> stephen: here's a little guy. why should i be afraid of this fella? come here, little buddy. >> the little leptsporoseis. >> stephen: what's that? >> a disease tha internldz bleeding or some, you know, organ failure. >> stephen: he wouldn't do that to me. >> fun things like that. he could have a little zika. a little ebola. >> stephen: really! >> who's got a little ebola. >> stephen: a little ebola. >> who's got a little treat for stephen. >> stephen: there you go. now, let me ask you this-- where in the world did any to study the rats? >> we went all over. we traveled around the world, new york, new orleans, india, cambodia, vietnam. >> stephen: do people eat
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vietnam where they transport them over-- in vietnam they won't eat the rats from vietnam. they import them from cambodia. so they get, like, free-range rats from cambodia. >> stephen: really? >> true story. and so -- >> did you eat any rat? >> i did not eat rat. i did not. i'm a hill bill frewest virginia so i grew up eating squirrel -- >> tree rat. >> tree rat. it's like a sexy rat. it's like a much prettier rat. >> stephen: did you hunt the squirrels? >> i hunted the squirrels. i killed the grandmother-- my grandmother taught me how to hunt squirrel. the very first time i killed a squirrel, i shot it out of the tree with my .22, and i said should i shoot it again? and he said, "don't waste that ammunition." and she picked it up by the tail and went wham! wham! wham! ( laughter ) ( applause ) she was a classy lady. >> stephen: are rats getting
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rats evolve 10 times faster than human beings. >> stephen: what? those are like marvel superheroes. >> they're like super rats, like the "x-men" of rats. you can create a poison for rats and within a few generations they will start to develop an immunity to that poison. >> stephen: thank you for making me so upset. "rats" airs on october 22 on discovery channel. morgan spurlock, everybody! we'll be right back.
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you know me. that's new hampshire kelly ayotte. this is washington kelly ayotte. she voted for 20 billion dollars in tax breaks for the big oil companies. but she voted against letting you refinance your student loans. while 95% of us... got nothing. kelly ayotte. you need to know in washington. she's not working for new hampshire. dscc is responsible for the content of this advertising. imagine if your child were trapped in a failing school. imagine if your child couldn't read or write at grade level. imagine if your child were stuck on a waiting list. 32,000 kids want to go to a public charter school.
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question 2 won't affect you. but for kids stuck in failing school districts, question 2 will let parents choose something better and give all our kids hope. please vote yes on question 2. narratorpl od provides many kinds of healthcare. woman: i depend on planned parenthood for birth control. woman: i had my annual physical there. woman: the cancer screenings at planned parenthood are so important. narrator: still, chris sununu cast the deciding vote to eliminate state funding for planned parenthood. chris sununu put partisan politics above women's health care. colin van ostern: i'm colin van ostern. i fought to restore funding for planned parenthood and got it done, because women's health care should always
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ppat's it for the "late show," everybody! tune in tomorrow for our live post-debate show, when my guests will be hugh laurie, paul reiser, and nate silver. now stick around for james corden and his guests shia labeouf, cobie smulders, and rachel bloom. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioneby media access group at wgbh ? are you ready to have some fun ? feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ? where you come from it's gonna be all right


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