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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  September 1, 2016 12:37am-1:38am EDT

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>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- hoda kotb, from "narcos", actor pedro pascal, author, tahereh mafi, featuring the 8g band with allison miller. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: this is "late night," how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right. that's great to hear. let's get to the news. donald trump traveled to mexico today to meet with president enrique peña nieto, and said trump, wow, this place has more illegal immigrants than we do. [ laughter ] they're everywhere.
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[ laughter ] that's right, donald trump met with the president of mexico today and as a peace offering gave him his favorite pinata. [ cheers and applause ] donald trump and mexican president enrique peña nieto held a joint press conference this afternoon where trump said the two did discuss his proposed border wall but did not address payment for its construction, said trump, you know me, i don't like to talk about money. [ laughter ] it's like the thing everybody knows about me. according to a poll released yesterday, hillary clinton and donald trump are now equally unpopular with registered voters. they're so unpopular voters have begun cropping them out of their selfies. [ laughter and applause ] what's wrong, do you not like
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your face? no, i've got hillary in it. trump campaign manager kellyanne conway today accused hillary clinton of engaging in psychological warfare after it was reported that clinton is preparing for the upcoming debates by working with psychologists, while donald trump is working with their patients. and according to a new report, the irs discovered more than one million americans have had their social security numbers stolen by undocumented immigrants. on the bright side, that means there's real chance somewhere in america there's an illegal immigrant going by the name donald j. trump. [ cheers and applause ] the "j" is for julio. new jersey governor christ christie vetoed a bill yesterday that would have increased the states minimum wage to $15 an hour, something he'll regret when he moves on to his next job. [ light laughter ]
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he's our favorite pinata, too. [ light laughter ] democratic vice presidential nominee, tim kaine yesterday attacked donald trump's reluctance to disclose his health and financial history saying, "when candidates are on the up and up they have no problem disclosing information." to which hillary clinton said "shut up, stop talking about this sort of stuff." [ light laughter ] the first commercial flight between cuba and the united states in more than 50 years took off from florida today but it was a jetblue flight so it connected through denver, chicago, seattle, and des moines. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] during a standoff yesterday, outside his home, singer chris brown reportedly threw a duffle bag out his window containing weapons and drugs later recovered by the police. well that doesn't sound like the chris brown i know, says someone who knows a different chris brown. [ light laughter ]
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that's right, chris brown had a duffle bag full of weapons and drugs so i guess the vma gift bags were pretty crazy this year. [ light laughter ] new research has shown while the so-called paleo diet is based on the protein heavy eating habits of early humans people in the stone age may have eaten processed food like bread. said one caveman, "but only because it took them so long to bring my entree and it was right there on the table. me like bread. bread good. no butter, on diet." [ light laughter ] a waste of time that was. joke bad, move on. [ light laughter ] okay, cave man. overstaying welcome. and finally, abc on monday announced the star of next season's the bachelor, so look
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out, ladies. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show for you tonight. she is the co-host of fourth hour of nbc's "today", she is a total delight, hoda kotb is on the show. [ cheers and applause ] always fun to talk to her. he's a fantastic actor, that you know from netflix "narcos," pedro pascal joins us. [ cheers ] and she is a bestselling author of a young adult fiction, "furthermore" is her latest novel, in the "shatter me" series, tahereh mafi joins us tonight, cannot wait to talk to her. but, before we get to all our wonderful guests, according to a report published in "mother jones magazine", donald trump's modeling agency trump model management has made it a regular practice to illegally employ foreign models in the u.s. the article alleges that the agency encouraged these models, most of whom were under 18 to lie about why they were in the country and house them in an
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overcrowded basement apartment in new york east village, so this brings us to a segment we call "couple things." ♪ [ applause ] first thing, if you've been thinking to yourself the only wake hillary clinton can win this election is if it turns out donald trump has been keeping underage girls in a basement, good news. [ laughter ] are you the "law and order" candidate or the "law and order svu" candidate? second thing. why do you even have a modeling agency? you built a reputation as a construction magnet. i build buildings, i'm going to build a wall and i always dabble in haute couture. [ laughter ] i love couture, especially if it's haut. in fact, my couture is hautest. [ laughter ] side thing, is melania cool with this? because i know that if i were a former model and your third wife, i'd be a little bit nervous. that poor woman must keep her xanax in a pez dispenser. i have to look at some pictures of butts. it's for work.
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okay, dear. [ light laughter ] third thing, when are you going to realize it wasn't a good idea to put your name on every [ bleep ] product you've ever been a part of? should we call it excelsior models? no, trump models, to let people know it's classy. now get those girls in the basement. [ laughter ] have you ever robbed a bank, your getaway car would be a van with the word "trump robberies" on the side. final thing, your whole candidacy is built around the single issue of keeping illegal immigrants out of the country. you keep talking about an extreme vetting process. is it put on a crochet bikini and stand under a bright light? oh, she's not a terrorist, she's a ten. what do you think, melania? [ laughter ] this has been a couple things. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with our friend, hoda kotb. ♪
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you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. throw. it's more than cash back. it's backed by the service and security of american express. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome back, everybody. please give it up for 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, she's been on drums with us all week. she's a new york city based composer, teacher, band leader, allison miller is back with us. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> thank you. >> seth: be sure to check out allison's drumming on the honey ear trio's upcoming record "swivel," available everywhere october 21st. great to have you here, allison. >> thank you. >> seth: thank you so much for being here. >> thank you, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our first guest tonight, co-hosts the fourth hour of nbc's "today," which airs weekday mornings at 10:00 am, please welcome back to the show our friend hoda kotb. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ hi. >> what a lively crowd. >> seth: they're a lovely crowd. you look fantastic. >> thank you. >> seth: you look like someone who spent two weeks in brazil. >> that's exactly where i was. >> seth: and did you have a lovely time? >> i loved every minute of it. i was on the beach, interviewing happy people who's lives had changed. i mean, it was like the perfect recipe for me. >> seth: and it was not your first olympics, right? >> no, i've been to a few
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before. >> seth: was this your favorite? >> this was 1,000% my favorite. >> seth: that's great. now, one of the things you got to do right off the bat, is you got to go to work the opening ceremonies. some attention was paid to the fact that there was a man who was the flag bearer for tonga -- >> yes, i remember him. >> seth: the nation of tonga. and you, im going to just say, you lost your mind a little bit? [ laughter ] let's just show the clip and you tell me i'm wrong. >> all right. >> wow, look at tonga. slow that down. [ laughter ] wow. we'll just keep it here for a minute. >> they love him here. >> as do meredith and i. what's not to love? he's a great athlete. [ laughter ] oh, my -- how about him? what about him? >> seth: you guys sounded -- [ cheers and applause ] you guys sounded like my aunt sounds when a hot waiter walks away from the table. did you see that guy? >> matt was horrified, by the way. >> seth: yeah. >> meredith and i were drooling as the guy was walking it. he was the highlight of the entire opening ceremonies. >> seth: and then -- >> am i wrong?
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>> seth: and then you got -- explain this photo. what's going on here? >> okay. that got us -- [ laughter ] that got us -- by the way, that got us into huge trouble. >> seth: yeah. >> that photo i think almost got us fired. >> seth: well, you should, at the very least have a restraining order. [ light laughter ] >> do you know what was funny? matt was over here. >> seth: yeah. >> and i was saying, boy, you couldn't imagine the roar of the crowd when the guy from tonga walks in, and he goes that's nothing compared to the roar of your boyfriend, who is standing right there, and joel was standing right next to this thing. >> seth: that is not fair that he had to be there for that. >> i know. i think it was a little bit too much fondling. >> seth: you -- now that -- >> that's jenna bush, by the way. >> seth: that's who? >> that's jenna bush hager. >> seth: that's jenna bush hager right there. she's also got a hand on it. >> yeah. [ laughter ] i'm not alone. >> seth: yeah. and by the way, i would like to point out, poor al roker in the back. no one's near touching him. [ laughter ] like, anyone? can i even get a pat on the shoulder? >> this was very lovely, because -- >> seth: we learned in the news that simone biles, the wonderful
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gymnast, was in love with zac efron. zac efron was to her as this guy is to you. [ laughter ] you actually helped facilitate this meeting. how did you get zac efron to come down to rio? >> it was very, very cloak and dagger, james bond. i didn't realize that zac efron in rio is like david hasselhoff in germany. >> seth: right, right. >> everybody knows him and loves him. he had some clothing line and he told me he was trying to promote it. and everywhere he went to promote it, like riots broke out, so we had to keep him under wraps. we flew him in, we put him in some little airport away -- i mean, little hotel away from everything. so i said, how are we going to get this guy into the olympic games? everyone's going to recognize him. so i thought, so should we put a make up bag on him? he could be like a makeup artist. >> seth: sure. >> because he looks -- he's so good looking that maybe he would be taken for that. i said to him, look, we were not going to go in there and watch the gymnastics. and he goes, what are you talking about? i go, we can't. you're going to disrupt the thing. she's going to fall down and you're going to be the reason she didn't get the gold. >> seth: right. [ light laughter ] >> we had him in a nearby room
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watching the whole thing on a tv screen and he goes i did seriously come all the way to rio to watch simone biles on tv? i said yes you did. so after she won the gold, my heart is pounding, right, so i'm alone in a room, i bring in simone and the whole final five. we're standing there and i go, so i'm asking them a couple questions. you ever been at a surprise party and you're like ducked behind the couch and your heart's beating because it's about to happen? so i said simone, do you remember what you told me when i first interviewed you? and she said, i said that if a certain someone showed you up, you were going to need a defibrillator. and she said, yeah. i go, do you remember? and she goes, no. i go, do you remember? [ laughter ] do you remember? and i backed up and opened the door. >> seth: it's pretty fantastic. let's take a look at this. this is a gold-medal moment right here. [ screaming ] [ laughter ] >> is that final five? [ laughter ] >> oh, my god, stop.
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>> simone, can i just ask you -- >> what's going on right now? >> i'm shaking! i'm so -- [ screaming ] [ laughter ] >> seth: well done! >> she had a life-sized cut, by the way, of zac in her bedroom. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's fantastic. >> yeah, this is -- >> seth: that's really nice. that was very, very -- >> wasn't it awesome? >> seth: that was a great moment. well done. i want to ask about your early career, because this is -- i feel like -- whenever people ask me for advice, one of the things i say is be prepared for your moment. >> yeah. >> seth: because you never know when it's going to come and you had the truest example of this and you were working at a station where, in mississippi? >> in greenville, mississippi. wxvt news center 15. >> seth: okay. >> i was at my desk. i'll never forget, i was at my desk working on a story. >> seth: not an anchor at the time? >> no. i was working on a story about like, how you know, on how girl scouts needed more leaders. breaking news. and as i was typing away, my boss ran in and he goes, who has a blazer? i go, a what? he goes, who brought a jacket? i go, oh i have a blazer. it's hanging up over there. he goes you need to anchor the
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news because ann is sick. i was like okay. so the litmus test is who anchors the news in greenville, mississippi is who shows up to work with a blazer. [ light laughter ] i go, oh my god. so i get into the anchor chair just like this, me and my blazer sitting there and ann martin is a legend in greenville, she's oprah and katie and diane all into one. >> seth: got it. >> i was like please god let me get this right. teleprompter is in front of me. it says "good evening, i'm hoda kotb, ann martin is out sick." and like, please god, please god. the red light goes on, the guys cues me, i look up and i go, good evening, i'm ann martin. i was like, oh, my god. [ laughter ] i just said i wasn't my own name. that's how i began. and i don't know if you've had a crummy show, but when my -- when it was bad there, the whole rest of the show was a complete and total disaster. >> seth: well, when that moment where you can't stop thinking about how i messed up the beginning. >> yes, yes. and then it keeps getting worse and worse. so when the show was over, i went in to get fired. [ laughter ] and my news director wasn't there so i went to the grocery store to get something to eat
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because i do that when i'm depressed and i was looking through the aisles and this woman walks up to me. her hair was crazy, she had like three teeth. anyways, she walked up and she goes, oh, my god. [ laughter ] i just seen you on tv. i felt so sorry for you. [ laughter ] oh, my god, it's over. but, stan, my boss gave me one more try after that. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> so it got a little bit better. >> seth: that's fantastic. when he was watching that and he said that you said you were ann, he was probably thinking, i bet that's not even her blazer. [ laughter ] i bet she lied about that, too. she doesn't know what she's doing. i've had this happen to me in the past where i see people -- co-stars on television and i see them out in public together, it makes me so happy. >> yeah. >> seth: like on time i saw jennifer aniston and courtney cox having dinner together. thrilled. that, i imagine happens for -- does that happen for you and kathy lee? >> you know, people always expect to see us together. >> seth: yeah. >> we go out to lunch together, we go to the theater. we're very, very good friends. i mean we work together on the show, but that -- as you know, that's like an hour out of your
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day. >> seth: sure. >> we hang out at lunch, i go to her house, we have slumber parties -- like we do a whole girl -- we have slumber parties. it's not weird. [ light laughter ] all right but whenever i'm alone, people are like this, my god, where is kathy? [ laughter ] is she in the bathroom? i'm like, we're not married. [ laughter ] when i was in rio, the big question was where is kathy lee. and i said she is out drinking. [ laughter ] >> seth: there you go. >> somewhere else. >> seth: somewhere. >> just not with me. >> seth: no matter what time it is in brazil, kathy lee is drinking somewhere. [ light laughter ] >> and i'd usually be with her. >> seth: now, are the rest of the "today" -- because of course, you guys famously get to be -- the fourth hour gets to be the hour where you drink. >> yes. >> seth: are the other "today show" anchors so jealous? >> yes. >> seth: okay, good. >> they hate our hour. because once you step on our hour, you get to have fun. there's real wine in our glasses. we enjoy ourselves. and we've had matt, savannah, everybody come and co-host with us, when one of us is off. and it must be weird for them because they come on there and there's alcohol on the table and
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there's very few notes. they like their stuff in order. >> seth: yeah. >> and i have to tell you, it's a little bit scary when you do it for the first time because it's 15 minutes you have. there's not much on the prompter, little notes and you just get to talk and have fun. but the booze helps. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and you've got to see -- and al roker, by the way, in rio. >> seth: i saw him. >> did you see him? okay, i didn't even know al roker drank. when he was in rio, those, what are they called? caipri -- caipirinhas. >> seth: caipirinhas. >> caipirinhas. >> seth: okay, great. >> i don't know, whatever it was. >> seth: one more of this, señor. >> he was taking in the iv. >> seth: really? >> yeah. it was beautiful to see. >> seth: well, i'm glad. [ laughter ] you know, again you have to drink when no one is touching you. [ laughter ] thank you so much for being here, hoda. always such a pleasure to see you. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> seth: hoda kotb, everybody. fourth hour of "today," weekday mornings at 10:00 am on nbc. we'll be right back with pedro pascal. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ our daughter, libby, is convinced that the washing
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[ cheers and applause ] seth: welcome back, everybody. you know our next guest from his work as oberyn martell on hbo's hit "game of thrones." he plays dea agent, javier pena, in the netflix series "narcos." season two begins streaming friday. let's take a look. >> this girl, marita, was actually in the backseat serving as a cover while escobar was in the [ bleep ] trunk. [ unintelligble ] >> well, this guy, limon, there's no records. there's no known connection between him and escobar, yet somehow he ends up the driver. >> and what does she want out of this, a ticket to disneyland? she knows she doesn't get [ bleep ] if it doesn't pan out. >> you trust her? >> yeah. >> seth: please welcome to the show, pedro pascal. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> seth: so, welcome. i'm so happy you're here. >> i'm so happy to be here. >> seth: i'm so excited about the next season of "narcos," but i would be remiss if i didn't talk a little bit about "game of thrones" because you -- on a show with so many deaths, you had maybe had the greatest death in the history of "game of thrones." [ cheers and applause ] there you go. there we are. oberyn martell right there. yeah, you just really, like, skull cracked, eyes out, everything, really. >> yeah, teeth knocked out. >> seth: teeth knocked out. >> eyes gauged in, skull mushed. >> seth: yeah. how did you get the part though? because this is a pretty interesting story. >> i owe you this story because it involves obviously things that you love, "game of thrones." >> seth: yeah, i do love "game of thrones." >> a good mutual friend, as well, sarah paulson. >> seth: sarah paulson, fantastic actress. >> um, it's a long story. >> seth: okay. that's all right. >> how many time do we have? >> seth: "game of thrones" is, like, five books so far. [ laughter ] >> okay, santiago, chile, 1975. >> seth: oh, no. don't start back there. [ laughter ] that's too far. that's way too far. >> a child is born. [ laughter ] >> seth: no, no.
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you've got to move. you've got to jump ahead. >> okay, so i was a mentor to a graduate of usc. an actor. >> seth: okay. >> in it's first audition -- >> seth: so, you're an older actor, and you're helping him out? >> yeah. >> seth: okay. >> yeah. it's the summer -- >> seth: that's very nice of you, by the way. >> yeah, i was trying to be nice. >> seth: okay. >> just wait. [ laughter ] so, his first audition on tape, he wants my help with -- >> seth: okay. >> -- and it's, like, 17 pages of a new role for "game of thrones." >> seth: oh, gotcha. >> yeah. >> seth: this role? >> he's, like, a 25-year-old kid, really, really talented, good looking, and i'm helping him go on tape for this new amazing role. he'd never seen the show. i was a huge fan, and i'm reading the sides, and i'm like, "this is amazing." [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] oh, no. [ laughter ] oh, no. all right. [ laughter ] >> and, you know, he was in his
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late 30's. he had eight daughters. he's a slut. >> seth: the character is. yeah, the character is. >> i was like, "this is perfect for me!" >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] he goes to the bathroom, and i texted my manager, like, right away. it was terrible. >> seth: so you texted and said, "i want to go in for the same part that i'm texting this mentee?" >> yeah, basically. >> seth: and that's what hap -- that's how you got the part? >> well, no. i told you it was, like -- [ laughter ] i told you it was a long story. so, i put myself on tape, like -- >> seth: wait, wait, wait! did he ever come out of the bathroom? [ laughter ] >> i locked the door! hahaha! [ laughter ] but, so, no, i go on tape with my iphone. and, look, i was unknown at the time. i had been auditioning since i was, like, 20 years old, and nobody was going to see this audition. >> seth: right. >> saw i called our friend, sarah paulson, a friend of mine since i was 18 years old. and she's very good friends with amanda peet, who's married to david benioff -- >> seth: who's one of the show runners. >> one of the show runners out of the two. and i'm like, "look, i just put myself on tape for this amazing part. i don't think anyone's gonna see it. maybe you sh" --
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she didn't even let me finish my sentence. she was like, "you send me that tape right now!" [ laughter ] "you send it now!" and i was like, "okay." so, i sent it to her. her and amanda watch it, and show it to david and dan, d.b. weiss that night, before my agency got to see the tape, and then a week goes by. i'm just stoked that they saw it. >> seth: yeah. >> i don't expect it to go any further, and a week later i get an e-mail from david and dan being, like, "dude --" they didn't say dude. [ laughter ] >> seth: don't put words like "dude" in their mouth. how dare you? >> they would call me up, and they would be like, "i don't say 'dude,' dude." >> seth: right, anyways, they said, "what's up, dog." >> "what's up, dog? yo, thank you so much, bro." [ laughter ] and they were like, "thank you so much." >> seth: yeah. >> "and we know it was a lot of pages. would you mind doing it again? you don't have to do all of the pages. and would you try this adjustment?" whatever, you know? and i made a better tape. and, so, another couple weeks goes by, and i'm kind of
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freaking out about it. i've been auditioning for a long time. >> seth: sure, sure. i've been there. >> and i could tell this was a special, special part. and -- and i sort of freaked -- i was kind of freaking out about it. i couldn't fall asleep, and my phone rings, and it's sarah paulson and she's like, "how are you doing?" [ laughter ] and i was, like, "oh, i'm kind of freaking out, you know." and she was like, "well, just listen to me." she's like, "i know things, okay? and i can't say anything, and i don't know anything, but i know things." [ laughter ] "i don't know anything, but i know things." [ laughter ] and i can't say anything, but i know things." [ laughter ] >> seth: this is like a prank call. >> yeah, basically. [ laughter ] she's like, "so, i don't you to worry. and it turns out i have to go to belfast, and i think this is, like, the final act -- >> seth: yeah. >> i've got a screentest. >> seth: still auditioning, right. >> go in guns blazing, you know? and apparently i had the part, and i was supposed to know, and i didn't know. >> seth: oh, wow. >> yeah. >> seth: that's great. [ laughter ] by the way, that's so much better than the opposite where you show up and say, "where do i stand?" [ laughter ] >> exactly. >> seth: "oh, you, did your
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agent not call?" >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: "why is he dressed in my outfit?" [ laughter ] >> exactly right. it was the reverse of that situation -- >> seth: there you go. >> because i was, like, ready to, like, move prove myself. and they were like, "you're going to love croatia and, like, meet the director and have a costume fitting and go to a stunt reversal and get your head cast." >> seth: oh, wow. >> "you know, get the goop on and everything. and we're going to make your head." and i still didn't have the balls to ask them -- [ laughter ] if i had gotten the part -- [ laughter ] because it's a messy business. >> seth: it's a messy business -- >> you know. >> seth: but you go the part. >> anything can happen. i got the part. >> seth: you were perfect at it. >> yeah. oh, well, thank you. >> seth: and i hate -- i hate to ask this. >> i'm, like, "yeah, yeah." >> seth: what is your current mentor/mentee relationship with that guy? [ laughter ] >> i should whatsapp him after this is was over. [ laughter ] i could be like, "i finally came clean, man." >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] so "narcos," this is very exciting. this is a story about a dea
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agents trying to bring down pablo escobar. were you familiar with the pablo escobar story before you started doing this? >> um, not so much. i knew as much as your average person -- >> seth: mm-hmm. >> which is to say not very much, although -- right? >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> when i was a kid, my family took a trip to bogata. my dad's a doctor, and had he a medical associate in bogata, and we made colombia a part of this latin american family vacation that were taking. so, we go to bogata in 1989. [ laughter ] and he -- my father's friend had kids my age that i had to hang out with. you know, they'd send us away to, you know, go hang out. and we got driven around by a body guard and -- in a car with bullet proof windows and everything, and i was like, "interesting." >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] when you're young, is that cool or scary? >> i thought it was incredibly cool. >> seth: yeah, okay. >> and i didn't understand the context until much later. >> seth: yeah.
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>> but i remember that now, and now they know so much about escobar in shooting the series. and we've -- you know, lived about two seasons down in colombia, i always think about that time when i was in bogata and not realizing that it was sort of the height of this war that was happening down there. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: and did -- you have since called your dad and said, "could we have gone to disneyland?" [ laughter ] "maybe you didn't take us to the best place." >> he was like, "this is disneyland." [ laughter ] >> seth: "and that's how i found out my dad loved cocaine." [ laughter ] thank you so much for being here, man. congrats on the show. >> that's so great. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: pedro pascal, everybody! season two of "narcos" begins streaming on netflix friday. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ e night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this one's got detachable keys it comes with a pen so you can write as you please this mac doesn't have any of that it's less useful like a hat for your cat
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for senate, katie mcginty or pat toomey? mcginty supports clean energy jobs. pat toomey voted to protect tax breaks for oil companies. mcginty is pro-choice. toomey wants to overturn roe v. wade and criminalize abortion. mcginty will consistently stand up to the gun lobby. toomey's against an assault weapons ban and gets an a rating from the nra.
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this year, pennsylvanians have a clear choice. senate majority pac is responsible for the content of this advertising. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. now most days here at the show, what happens is my writers, they will come up with smart, fresh jokes. jokes about the news that i believe challenge you as an audience. then other days they don't, they don't do that. [ light laughter ] the jokes they come up with are no better than something you find on one of those corny popsicle sticks when you were a kid. but my writers believe, they have assured me they can save any terrible joke as long as they jazz it up with what they call kick ass graphics. [ light laughter ] let's see if they're right in a segment we call popsicle schtick. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: all right, so let's get started. what did donald trump's wife say to him the minute after they got married? [ slurping ]
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ivana divorce. [ laughter ] ♪ popsicle schtick. [ light laughter ] >> seth: next up, what is a mosquito's favorite game to play during recess? [ slurping ] hide and zika. [ audience oohs ] [ laughter ] [ whistling ] ♪ electrifying popsicle schtick ♪ [ light laughter ] >> seth: what kind of beers were banned from fox news? [ slurping ] roger ales. [ audience oohs ] [ light laughter ] ♪ >> polly want a popsicle schtick. ♪ [ whistling ] [ light laughter ] >> bye-bye. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ light laughter ] >> seth: what's a whale's
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favorite thing to do during mating season? [ slurping ] netflix and krill. [ laughter ] ♪ >> d-d-d-d-dirty popsicle schtick. ♪ ♪ this must be [ beatboxing ] [ light laughter ] >> popsicle schtick. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: what a mind-blowing waste of money this is. [ laughter ] why didn't ned stark ever eat breakfast? [ slurping ] he was too busy raisin bran. [ bouncing noise ] >> i cannot tell a lie, popsicle schtick is great. [ whistling ] it's seth's favorite bit? [ whistling ] [ laughter ] that's not a huge waste of time or money. [ whistling ] the audiences love it and they appreciate the absurdity. [ whistling ] oh, no.
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looks like you're on your own, seth. [ light laughter ] >> seth: what do people who don't like coke or pepsi do at a bar? [ slurping ] open a tab. [ audience oohs ] ♪ [ splashing ] >> you're going to need a bigger popsicle schtick. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: oh, this is a good one. [ laughter ] what do you call a dishonest jungle cat? lion lochte. [ audience oohs ] [ applause ] ♪ sunday monday popsicle schtick tuesday wednesday popsicle schtick ♪ ♪ thursday friday popsicle schtick saturday popsicle schtick waiting all week for
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the stick ♪ ♪ these days are ours popsicle schtick these days are ours popsicle schtick ♪ >> ay, popsicle schtick! [ laughter ] >> seth: last one, why wasn't sarah palin at the republican convention? i don't know, alaska. [ laughter ] ♪ >> i now pronounce you man and popsicle schtick. ♪ >> popsicle, popsicle, popsicle! >> stick! [ engine revving ] [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ hello darkness my old friend ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ i've come to talk with you again ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that was popsicle schtick, we'll be right back with author tahereh mafi.
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for senate, katie mcginty or pat toomey? mcginty supports clean energy jobs. pat toomey voted to protect tax breaks for oil companies. mcginty is pro-choice. toomey wants to overturn roe v. wade and criminalize abortion.
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mcginty will consistently stand up to the gun lobby. toomey's against an assault weapons ban and gets an a rating from the nra. this year, pennsylvanians have a clear choice. senate majority pac is responsible for the content of this advertising. ♪ announcer: "late night with seth meyers" is taking the show to washington, d.c. at the warner theatre the week of october 10th. for tickets and more information, go [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to the show, everybody. our next guest is a "new york times" bestselling known for the "shatter me" series. her new book, "furthermore" is in stores now, please welcome to the show, tahereh mafi. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] i'm so happy you're here. >> thank you so much for having me. >> seth: and i have to say, those are the greatest boots
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we've ever had the show. [ laughter ] you do not expect boots like that from an author and just incredibly well done. >> thank you so much, happy to surprise. >> seth: thank you. now, you're an author, obviously. your husband is also an author. >> yes. >> seth: and you're about to go on tour together. >> yes. >> seth: now, being married to an author, do you give a lot of feedback on your work? >> yeah, from time to time, we actually sit together at the same desk, side by side, and we share our work with each together as we write. we're each other's first readers, so. >> seth: now, you -- i'm gonna just guess, you guys really must love each other if you can share a desk. >> yes. >> seth: how do you -- do you sit both facing the same way or facing each other? >> no, we face one direction together. >> seth: okay. not the band, one direction. >> seth: okay, yeah. [ laughter ] "we just put one direction on the computer and just wait for the inspiration to strike." so, i have to know. how does it work? do you -- do you talk to each other while you're working or -- >> no, we wear noise-canceling headphones to make sure that, like, there's an understanding, like, right now is work time. >> seth: okay. >> and we're focused, but then, when one of us takes our
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noise-canceling headphones off, it's sort of an indication that we're requesting permission to speak. >> seth: okay, gotcha. [ laughter ] that seems very nice. >> yeah. >> seth: and when that happens -- you know, because i would imagine, as a writer, the biggest thing is working against your own procrastination. is it helpful to be with someone and live with someone who also wants to write? does that get you to the desk, so to speak? >> yeah, i think so. we have very different writing styles. i tend to be a much more obsessive writer. i really throw myself into a manuscript for, i mean, sometimes 12 to 18 hours at a time, whereas he's so much more will-adjusted, and, like, takes naps and pets the cat and makes an espresso, and goes for a walk. and, so, we kind of balance each other out. >> seth: now, when you're on one of those 18-hour writing jags, if he takes off his headphones and looks at you, do you take off yours, or do just you keep going? >> sometimes i'm like, "gah, put your headphones back on." [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> but, yeah, i will you know -- >> seth: got it. >> i love the guy, so. >> seth: you write young adult? >> i do. >> seth: this new book is aimed at middle schoolers. what does someone like you read. what does -- when you have time to read, what do you read?
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>> my gosh. yeah, so usually after writing a manuscript, i feel sort of emotionally and artistically depleted, and i go on these big writing -- after i do a writing binge -- >> seth: yeah. >> i go on a reading binge, and i'll read anything. like, i just had this big, like, tolstoy kick. and i just read "anna karenina" and "war and peace," and then i, you know, washed that down with some bodice rippers, and it was great. >> seth: oh, that's great. >> it was a nice, like -- >> seth: bodice rippers, you mean some good old-fashioned romance novels. >> yes, historical romance novels. >> seth: oh, that's great. >> yeah, it all goes in the machine. >> seth: okay, perfect. so, you knew this was not your plan to be a writer. you were all -- you had finished school, did not think you were gonna be writer. how did you make this leap, and how did you make this leap into this genre? >> right, so when i was -- i devoted my life to the humanities. i was -- went to a liberal art college where my focus was in literature and philosophy, and i took myself very seriously -- >> seth: okay. >> to the point of it was a problem, like discussing kant over lunch, and, like, just really -- >> seth: oh, that's a huge bummer. >> a real problem. [ laughter ] >> seth: i can't -- i can't eat lunch if the table next to me is talking about kant. [ laughter ] >> right, because you'd rather be talking about sartre, right. >> seth: yeah, exactly.
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i'm a sartre guy. it's like, "oh, my god. you are wasting your time." >> right, right. well, after living that very sad four years of taking myself very seriously, i actually missed it. after college i started working, and i missed school. i missed my books, i missed my classes, and i missed studying. >> seth: uh-huh. >> so, i spent all my free time at the bookstore, and i spent all my money on books. and that was when y.a. was having -- young adult, y.a., was having this big resurgence, and young adult novels had flooded the market. and i just started reading and rereading, and i rediscovered my love of literature. and i realized that after all these years, i had completely forgotten what it was like to read a book just for the sake of reading a book and falling in love with a story. and i really wanted to go back to that and be a part of the reason why young people start reading again. >> seth: and you -- this is crazy to me, but you wrote five manuscripts in under two years, basically? >> i did not sleep for two years. if you talked me, the only thank you i said was, "i'm tired." >> seth: now --
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>> like, it was just -- [ laughter ] >> seth: those first five books, were they all good? >> no -- oh, my god. they were terrible. >> seth: really? >> it was so -- oh, so bad. >> seth: was your -- what -- did you know they were terrible when you were working on them? or, when did you -- or you looked back? >> no, i knew they were terrible because i tried getting each one of them published. >> seth: oh, gotcha. >> and i amassed hundreds of rejections in the process. like, each one was like, "well, this is awful for a whole new set of reasons." [ light laughter ] so, it was a learning experience, and that's how i learned to write books, you know? so, it was -- >> seth: what were your early books about? >> i really shouldn't tell you. it's so terrible. my very first manuscript, i was so determined to write something new and different no one had ever done, something before. and, so, i wrote about a girl with magical eye lashes. >> seth: oh, well, i haven't heard that. [ laughter ] what could they do? >> they didn't do anything. they just kept getting longer. like -- [ laughter ] what are you going to do with that? and -- and i wrote 175,000 words of that eyelash story. >> seth: wow, but a lesson learned. >> oh, yeah. >> seth: it made you a better writer? >> well, it humbled me. [ laughter ]
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>> seth: did you -- were you drawn to fantasy when you were younger? is that -- >> yeah, totally. i was the kid who, after reading "chronicles of narnia," and watching the movie, like, i walked into every wardrobe, hoping and searching, like, you know, like, secretly in my room, like whispering "harry potter" spells, like, "maybe this will happen. maybe i'll get, you know, walk into that portal," so. >> seth: when you went over to people's houses, did they know, "oh, she's gonna go check all those closets." [ laughter ] >> i guess so, yeah. >> seth: having done this, having written y.a. books, this new book is targeted for middle schoolers. do you ever see yourself writing a novel, an adult novel? >> i think i -- definitely, the adult in me is so interested in writing an adult novel, but i don't feel like i'm enough of an adult yet to have that kind of perspective. i think it might be the height of hubris to assume. >> seth: i would like -- my request is you write an adult novel about someone with magical eyelashes. [ laughter ] >> yes! together! >> seth: yeah, exactly. i would love it. >> done. >> seth: it's just about somebody, you know, they're a lawyer, you know, they've got -- they're married to an alcoholic. they have magical eyelashes. they're trying to --
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[ laughter ] just that kind of book, that's what -- >> which of the problems do you solve? >> seth: it's like "the corrections" with the magical eye lashes. let's do that. >> oh, my god. done. where's jonathan franzen? >> seth: there you go. thank you so much for being here. it's such a pleasure to talk to you. >> thank you. you're so nice. >> seth: give it up for tahereh mafi, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] "furthermore" is in book stores right now. we'll be right back. that was lovely. thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] my thanks to hoda kotb, pedro pascal, tahereh mafi, allison miller and of course, the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly, we'll see you tomorrow. ♪
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♪ ♪ >> carson: hey, what's up, everybody? m


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