Skip to main content

tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  September 20, 2016 11:34pm-12:38am EDT

11:34 pm
the pigeons might be smarter than you think. >> turns out they can read. sort of. well, according take new study anyway. scientists have taught pigeons how to distinguish real words from non-words, and this video shows the pigeon learning the difference between the two. the pigeons in the study were trained to identify four-letter english words by pecking at them. they got a non-word. they pecked a symbol. it's a real study. >> someone spent a lot of time on it. i'm jim rosenfield. >> thanks. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- mark wahlberg. sofia vergara. musical guest, mo.
11:35 pm
and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 537! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, looking good! looking good out there. hot crowd! hot crowd tonight! [ cheers and applause ] welcome. welcome, everybody, to "the tonight show." this is it. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] you made it. you're here. you are the show. thank you, everybody. well, here's what everyone is talking about.
11:36 pm
it's kind of sad news, big news that angelina jolie and brad pitt are separating. [ audience aws ] yeah, it's pretty scary when even angelina jolie and brad pitt are like, "eh, i could do better." [ laughter ] you go -- no. [ cheers and applause ] i saw that bill clinton had a a big birthday party on friday night. but get this, apparently hillary did not attend. [ audience oohs ] or as bill put it, "aw, she always gives me the perfect gift." [ cheers and applause ] every year. and this is kind of crazy -- it's being reported that former president george h.w. bush actually plans to vote for hillary clinton for president. [ audience ohs ] even more surprising, he made that decision before jeb dropped out of the race. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: dad, what is -- dad. and this week, new york city is hosting over 190 foreign countries over at the united nations. or as donald trump put it, "this is going to be like
11:37 pm
insulting fish in a barrel. [ laughter and applause ] this is sad. loser. sad. switzerland, your cheese has holes in it. it's lame." [ laughter ] i saw that vladimir putin is skipping this week's meeting at the u.n. as soon as he heard that, trump started cleaning up the rose petals he'd sprinkled into the jacuzzi. [ laughter and applause ] "not gonna happen. another night. put the cap on the champagne. lower the music. not going to happen tonight." ♪ >> steve: putin. >> jimmy: speaking of trump, i read that ivanka trump is now the first of donald trump's children to receive secret service protection. they were trying to come up with a code name, but trump was like, "just use my code name for her, favorite. [ laughter and applause ] don't get me wrong, i also love me jr. and the other ones." [ light laughter ] me jr. no, that was a good -- i don't know. donald trump jr. actually caused a little controversy last night when he sent out a a tweet that compared the
11:38 pm
syrian refugee crisis to a bowl of skittles. this is real. he said, "if i had a bowl of skittles and i told you just three would kill you, would you take a handful?" [ audience ohs ] at which point, chris christie said, "let 'em in. [ laughter and applause ] i'll eat them all -- i mean, greet them all." and this made me laugh. this is funny. the other day, donald trump gave a speech during a lunch event and, if i'm being honest, the guy sitting behind trump made it hard to focus on what trump was saying. i don't think he realized how close he was to the microphone. take a look at this. >> we're leading and we're having a lot of fun. [ eating noises ] [ light laughter ] we're having a lot of fun on the campaign and on the trail. i just wanted to say that there's always a lot of fun when you come up and these people don't have the teleprompter working, but that's okay. [ light laughter ] luckily i brought some notes. but today, i do want to -- [ laughter and applause ]
11:39 pm
>> jimmy: how do you not -- he's sitting right behind the guy speaking. you're going to eat lunch? i've never -- that was a sloppy way of eating right there. guys, libertarian candidate gary johnson appeared on "60 minutes" this weekend to try to make his case for being president. of course a lot of people don't take gary johnson very seriously, and, well, judge for yourself. >> i think they are dinosaurs, and i think we're the comet in this whole equation. 70% of america doesn't even know who we are, and yet we exist. if mickey mouse were the third name on any poll, mickey would be at 30%, because mickey's a a known commodity. but mickey's not on the ballot in all 50 states. [ laughter ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: even ryan lochte was like, "what the hell is that guy talking about? [ laughter and applause ]
11:40 pm
what is he saying?" speaking -- speaking of ryan, did you see him on "dancing with the stars" last night? this week, the contestants performed to their favorite tv theme songs. and here's ryan lochte saying why he chose the theme from "the muppet show." >> what's your favorite muppet? >> i guess the green dude. after everything that's happened, the muppet theme song has helped out so much. >> oh, my gosh. so much hype. >> you listen to it and go from this to this. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: remember that guy's spent a lot of time holding his breath under water. [ laughter and applause ] so something could be, maybe -- the green dude -- >> steve: the green dude. >> jimmy: the green dude is his favorite. >> steve: yeah, love that green dude, man. >> jimmy: the green dude. >> steve: love the blue dude. >> jimmy: my god. some more celebrity news, here. this weekend, kanye west joined instagram for the first time. [ cheers ]
11:41 pm
then he looked at kim's account and said, "whoa, i thought these photos were just for me. [ laughter and applause ] i didn't realize -- everyone's seen these?" >> steve: ho! hey! >> jimmy: and did you see our dude -- we love this guy. carolina panthers quarterback, cam newton is getting mocked online for the outfit that he wore to his post-game press conference on sunday. take a look. [ light laughter ] in a statement, newton said, "i'm just trying to mix things up and add some class to these press conferences. and if you have any problems with that, take it up with my friend, mr. chuckles." [ laughter and applause ] i think he looks nice. i think it's something different. i agree. and get this, i read that a a canadian man survived a bear attack by defending himself with a wine bottle. although it must have been a a really snobby bear, because all the guy did was just show the bear the label. [ light laughter ] "yellowtail merlot? blech! i'd rather drunk pond water. [ laughter ] good day to you, sir." [ laughter ]
11:42 pm
snobby. snobby bear. [ cheers and applause ] "good day to you." wearing a bowler hat. >> steve: a bowler hat. i like it. >> jimmy: it's a very classy, snobby bear. i want to hang out with that guy. >> steve: white wine. >> jimmy: finally, i saw that on sunday, a church in london hosted an entire service for more than 60 people on horses. the riders say it was a unique way to worship, but the janitor is now an atheist. [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you, roots. what a great week of shows ahead.
11:43 pm
tomorrow night, kelly ripa and priyanka chopra will be here. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: priyanka and i are going to get into the fall spirit and go bobbing for apples together. yeah, should be very fun. then later this week, hugh jackman, will forte and shawn mendes. [ cheers and applause ] shawn mendes will be joining us. it's gonna be good. but first, we have a big show tonight. from the new movie "deepwater horizon", mark wahlberg is here. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's a stud. he's a stud. we love that guy. he's always up for something fun and new. so tonight we're going to go out on the 30 rock plaza and launch some things with a giant slingshot. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: we just thought that'd be fun. you don't wanna miss that. plus she's beautiful, she's talented, she's very funny. from "modern family", sofia vergara is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] another -- another talent. we love her too. and we have great music tonight from mo! >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ]
11:44 pm
>> jimmy: mo is performing "final song." want a taste of that one, higgs? >> steve: yeah, bust it off. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the -- there you go. >> steve: that's it? >> jimmy: that's it. yeah. get ready. mo's going to come out tonight and just blow everyone away. she's fantastic. there she is. mo! [ cheers and applause ] hey, guys, it's time to take a a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: tonight, we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of taking a self-driving uber. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: they're being tested right now in pittsburgh. uber says it's the future of the business. so, let's take a look at the pros and cons of taking a a self-driving uber. here we go. pro -- it's a car that no one drives. con -- or as we call that now, a pt cruiser. [ applause ]
11:45 pm
you don't see 'em >> steve: you don't seem 'em very often. >> jimmy: don't see enough. you don't see enough of those. >> steve: no. god bless 'em. >> jimmy: pro -- no one's at the wheel, but somehow it still keeps going. con -- that also describes donald trump's campaign. [ laughter and applause ] sad! pro -- going humanless is bound to make things speedier and more efficient. con -- as evidenced by the six-mile back-up at the cvs self-checkout machine. [ laughter and applause ] button -- how do i do this? >> steve: bloop, bloop. >> jimmy: a thousand feet of paper. >> steve: your receipt. >> jimmy: how does that work? it goes by weight? >> steve: which? no, you go like this. yeah, you get your item. you bleep blorp it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: then you have this bag and you put that item in that bag -- >> jimmy: but they know how much the bag weighs or something? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: it's a weight thing. >> steve: yeah, it's a little scale. >> jimmy: i know, but i -- i don't get it. and i'm like -- i'm the idiot that -- >> steve: i like people. i like cashiers. i don't care what anybody says. [ laughter ]
11:46 pm
>> jimmy: we all like people. we all like people. >> steve: i don't care what anybody says. i like christmas, too. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a lot of people like christmas. it's a very popular holiday. >> steve: that's how i feel. >> jimmy: you're just saying what you feel. >> steve: yeah, that's why i'm going out on a limb. >> jimmy: that's a very popular belief. >> steve: i think people should be treated well. [ laughter ] call me crazy. >> jimmy: you're a good man. [ cheers and applause ] you're a hero. you're a hero. >> steve: i love new york city! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right, baby! i don't care what anybody says. pro -- calling an uber to pick you up after a night of heavy partying. con -- seeing a driverless car arrive and thinking, "how high am i?" [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: zoink. >> jimmy: i'll get in, yeah. >> steve: i'm not getting in there, man. dave's not here. >> jimmy: pro -- getting in the car and hitting the road. con -- and the sidewalk and pedestrians and parked cars, mailboxes. >> steve: they're learning. they're learning. >> jimmy: they're learning. come on. >> steve: cut 'em some slack. >> jimmy: pro -- you're the only one in the car. con -- which means that smell is you. [ laughter ]
11:47 pm
>> steve: that's not good. >> jimmy: can't blame it on anyone. pro -- speeding down the highway with no one at the wheel. con -- still being safer than in a a regular uber. [ laughter ] that's just -- that's just statistics. >> steve: that's just -- it's proven. >> jimmy: pro -- getting into your car with no driver is as easy as 1-2-3. con -- getting out is as easy as 911. [ laughter ] very simple. >> steve: i'm by the side of the road. >> jimmy: pro -- self-driving ubers still have trouble detecting plants, pedestrians, other cars, and snow. cons -- so as long as there's no trees, people, cars, or bad weather, you're going to be fine. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: that's a great idea. [ applause ] and finally, pro -- self-driving ubers will quickly get us to our final destination. con -- aka, the robot apocalypse. there you guys have it. [ laughter and applause ] those are the "pros and cons." we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show." come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
11:48 pm
(f♪ot steps) (crickets chirping) ♪ (jet engine) ♪ (heart beat) ♪ (water splashing) (rain drops) (engine revving) (tires on wet road) ♪ mr. bonejangles was alwaysr. looking for something.tch. but he never found it. until one day... seven in dog time...
11:49 pm
exactly what he didn't know he was looking for fell right in his lap. was he expecting the perfect toy at an amazing price? no, of course not, he's a dog. but that's the beauty of a store full of surprises. you never know what you're gonna find, but you know you're gonna love it. marshalls. your surprise is waiting. brewmaster. risktaker.. i sold everything i had to own a brewery. you might have heard its name... stella artois be legacy
11:50 pm
11:51 pm
(vo) when it comes to your favorite pennsylvania lottery pick games, it's smart to add the new wild ball to your game. sally plays 1 2 3, just like she does every day. but today she adds wild ball. because sally chose to get extra chances to win by playing wild ball, (sally) yah! (vo) she can now replace the number 4 with tonight's wild ball, number 3. making her a winner! (sally) thanks, wild ball! (vo) don't change the way you play, change the way you win! learn more at [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to "the tonight show!" we are here on the 30 rock plaza, and it's the end
11:52 pm
of the summer. we've gathered up all the leftover watermelons, so it's time for some giant slingshot target practice. tonight, i'll be facing off against an academy award-nominated actor. his new movie, "deepwater horizon," is in theaters next friday. ladies and gentlemen, mark wahlberg! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm doing great, buddy. thank you. thank you. thank you. mark wahlberg. now, mark and i are going to take turns launching melons out of this slingshot at that massive target down there. most points at the end of the game wins. mark, you ready for this? >> yeah, are you gonna first? or you want me? >> jimmy: no, you go first. yeah, you're my guest. >> i've never done it before. >> jimmy: don't do it every day. >> you've never done it before? >> jimmy: no, it's a first. >> all right. all right. >> jimmy: you always do something different. >> let's do it. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. the gold ones are worth triple the thing. that's the money melon. >> i save that for last? >> jimmy: yeah. >> all right. like that? all right. [ cheers ] you got to work to get it back
11:53 pm
here. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ are we alternating? >> jimmy: that was not a a straight fire. how did you do -- you got low on yours. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: look how weak i am. i'm, like, falling over. [ cheers ] >> steve: three! >> i think you always lose intentionally. >> jimmy: no, you think so? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you think i lose intentionally? now, really get ready, buddy. no, no, no. i'm very competitive. trust me. i'm gonna get -- thank you, buddy. ♪ oh, i see, the ten's there. ten looks really hard to hit. i can do that. [ cheers ]
11:54 pm
♪ [ cheers and applause ] that's ten? that was almost ten right there. >> i think that was ten. >> jimmy: that was ten. that's ten right there. >> i think we got to watch the replay. >> jimmy: that was ten. we got to watch the replay on that. that was -- look at that. [ cheers ] >> that was ten. >> jimmy: you got to give him ten on that. absolutely, yeah. higgins, you didn't see? you're right next to it. >> steve: i'm not. >> jimmy: you're not -- you're right next to it. thank you, buddy. he's my buddy. he's helping me out. >> yeah. he's working for you. >> jimmy: all right. this is not the right melon, is it? i'll give it some love. i'll give it some love. >> a good size. >> jimmy: all right. here we go. that was great. >> you want to point it up higher. >> jimmy: okay. >> i mean you want to got -- [ chanting ] [ cheers ] ♪ [ applause ] are we going the gold ones now, right? >> jimmy: oh, this is the gold one? >> yeah. >> jimmy: this is for the gold melon. this is it. this is worth triple the points. >> oh, all of them. >> jimmy: yeah. this is the money melon, the golden melon.
11:55 pm
[ cheers ] oh, my gosh! ♪ he is fantastic! that was not ten on that one. that was five. can we see the replay on that? >> we got a piece of it. >> jimmy: we got a piece of it. he gave you ten on that one. >> steve: gosh! >> jimmy: you're good at this. you've never done this before? >> no. >> jimmy: all right. come on, guys. here we go. the golden melon. [ cheers ] >> whoever engineered this is pretty good. >> jimmy: i feel good about this one. no, higgins! get out of the way! it's very dangerous. all right. thank you, sir. aim for the ten. thank you. [ laughter ] this is where it gets -- get the workout. all right. ♪ [ cheers ] the winner, mark wahlberg, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] come on. you're good at that. >> no, i don't -- >> jimmy: we're talking to mark after the break.
11:56 pm
stick around, everybody. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ is depression more than sadness? ♪ it's a tangle of multiple symptoms. ♪ ♪ trintellix (vortioxetine) is a prescription medicine for depression. trintellix may start to untangle or help improve the multiple symptoms of depression. for me, trintellix made a difference. tell your healthcare professional right away if your depression worsens, or you have unusual changes in mood, behavior or thoughts of suicide. antidepressants can increase these in children, teens, and young adults. trintellix has not been studied in children. do not take with maois. tell your healthcare professional about your medications,
11:57 pm
including migraine, psychiatric and depression medications to avoid a potentially life-threatening condition. increased risk of bleeding or bruising may occur especially if taken with nsaid pain relievers, aspirin, or blood thinners. manic episodes or vision problems may occur in some people. may cause low sodium levels. the most common side effects are nausea, constipation and vomiting. trintellix did not have significant impact on weight. ask your healthcare professional if trintellix could make a difference for you. first you start with this. these guys. a place like shhh! no. found it! and definitely lipton ice tea. lots of it. a lipton meal is what you bring to it. and the refreshing taste of lipton iced tea.
11:58 pm
[ hawk squawk ] start boldly with the apple that bites back. [ whip cracks ] redd's wicked apple. it's about to get wicked. ♪ ♪ you got an early-morning-dad side, ♪ ♪ooooks like those braids aren't easy to tie. ♪ nope. ♪ a "how do i retire at 50" side. ♪ hang in there, dan.
11:59 pm
♪ "sure, you can keep the kitty" side. ♪ ♪ that's why there's nationwide, ♪ ♪ helping to grow and protect your many sides. ♪ ♪ nationwide is on your side. pat toomey started his career as an investment banker. then, a wall street wheeler-dealer, overseeing stock trades in new york, london and tokyo. next, toomey moved to hong kong to work with wealthy chinese investors. in the senate, it's no surprise toomey's been siding with wall street. voting to allow banks to continue making the risky investments that wrecked our economy. pat toomey. he's for wall street. not us senate majority pac is responsible for the content of this advertising.
12:00 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is an academy award nominated actor who stars in the new movie "deepwater horizon," which is in theaters and imax september 30th. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome mark wahlberg! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. hey, pal. >> how are you, man? >> jimmy: good to see you, buddy. congratulations. congratulations on the win.
12:01 am
we brought some up if you care to snack on something while you're here. thank you for playing that, buddy. this is good. [ laughter ] i always have my watermelon smashed. it's the best. me and gallagher. thanks for coming. how is the family? how are the kids? everything good? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: didn't you have one that just turned 13? or no? [ laughter ] because i have two little girls. is it tough? >> good luck, buddy. really. i don't have any sympathy for you. no, it's just girls are a a little more dramatic. little more difficult. and butting heads with mom. they're having issues. so, every time they have a a problem, i get the call. i'm like, okay, let me talk to her, but then they just start arguing, and nobody listens to a thing that i have to say until i start screaming and then it's not productive. >> jimmy: yeah.
12:02 am
and they're all going to school. do they like school? >> they actually do like school. like they're out of school right now for a week and they're mad that they're missing school. >> jimmy: is that right? >> i'm like, what? [ light laughter ] i'm grateful that they like school, but they miss their friends, and they enjoy it. >> jimmy: i'm assuming you didn't like school. >> i didn't like school at all. no. >> jimmy: i've got a photo of you from a school photo of you. i just love it. not having it. not having it right there. >> i think that's the mug shot. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is a mug shot. look at that kid. that's cute. but i love you're not even looking at the camera. you're like, i want to go home. i also saw this photo here of you and lebron james. [ laughter ] explain this one. where are you? >> that's at my house in the gym. >> jimmy: wow. is that a mirror, or is that just a big room? >> it's a big room, but there's mirrors in it, but the mirror's on the other side. so that's not a reflection.
12:03 am
but he and i he and i are talking about doing a movie together. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you and lebron james? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that would be fantastic. >> it's actually a great idea. >> jimmy: he was what is it so can you talk about it or no? >> it's kind of like this, it's based in and around the fantasy league, so these guys get to go to one of these fantasy camps, and me and lebron have a a situation. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's good. he was fantastic in train wreck. >> yeah. he's fantastic. >> jimmy: congratulations on wahlburger, by the way. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you every time oh, i i have to talk about this 'cause. [ cheers and applause ] it's delicious, delicious great hamburgers, but of course you only think of like, oh yeah, we should make wahlburger a thing. >> it wasn't my idea. it was my idea to capitalize on it. it wasn't my idea. my brother paul, who's a chef, it was his idea. he's fantastic. i actually was against the idea because i figured i worked way too hard to build my own brand to then kind of just come up with this kind of cooky idea to start selling hamburgers. but then, i realized, you know,
12:04 am
this is a business that we can build as a family together and we've already got, i think, ten or eleven open. we've just opened in detroit, and we've got 200 under contract and we're growing at a a rapid rate. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's fantastic. and i have to say, the -- just the cheese -- the secret is the cheese on the cheeseburger. because the cheese is -- >> government cheese. >> jimmy: government cheese. yeah, absolutely. which is what you had -- >> yeah, grew up eating government cheese, and then, you know, of course my dad delivered school lunches, so between that and those little cartons of milk and stale oreos and a bologna sandwich. >> jimmy: it's the greatest. i just love it. anyways, if you're there in detroit, go pick up a a wahlburger. they're fantastic. "deepwater horizon" directed by peter berg. good man. i love pete. he does great movies. >> we've done three films together now. we did "lone survivor" together and we did "patriot's day," which comes out at christmas. >> jimmy: oh really? >> yeah, about the boston marathon bombing. >> jimmy: but this is getting -- oh is that right. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this is getting rave reviews and this is about the
12:05 am
biggest oil spill, the bp oil spill in 2010 and what happened to everyone on the rig. >> yeah, so it was the largest manmade natural disaster in our history, and, you know, what people fail to recognize, certainly because of the media coverage or lack thereof, 11 people lost their lives. so this is the human element of the story. and we wanted to honor those 11 people and all the people, the rescue efforts and the people who made it off the "deepwater horizon." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm glad you did that. >> yeah, we are too. we actually, we premiered the movie last night in new orleans, and we got to show the families -- they had already seen the movie and then we got to have a big premier for them. and it was nice because it was long overdue, you know? they needed to be recognized and honored in that way, and the families felt like they weren't, and, you know, it was important that we did that for them. >> jimmy: i want to show everyone a clip here. here's mark wahlberg and gina rodriguez in "deepwater horizon." take a look at this.
12:06 am
>> original v8 or a crate motor? you must say. original v8 or crate motor? >> original. >> you cold? we might need to rebuild. look at me. we came up higher so we can jump out further, okay? we're going to jump over the fire. >> yes. >> trust me. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there it is. congratulations on the review. >> thank you, buddy. i appreciate it. >> jimmy: you're a good man. mark wahlberg, everybody! "deepwater horizon" is in theaters and imax september 30th. sofia vergara joins us next. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's not a weekend hobby.ance?
12:07 am
you have to live and breathe it for 50 years. it's the sound... and the fury. it's letting it all hang out there, and it's hanging on for dear life. that is what amg driving performance means. and this is where it lives. the 503-horsepower mercedes-amg c63 s coupe. mother: i'm looking for my daughtkohl's go? why? i set up the kohl's app on your phone. huh? yeah, your coupons are already in your digital wallet. oh, cool. vo: all your coupons in one place. the kohl's app. vo: now that's the good stuff. mother: cool. daughter: can we go shopping now? whe gets a ready for you alert the second his room is ready. so you know what he gives? i'll give you everything i've got and then some. he gives a hundred and ten percent! i'm confident this 10% can boost your market share. feel me lois? i'm feeling you. boom! look at that pie chart. the ready for you alert, only at
12:08 am
12:09 am
inthousands ofk barrels lay silent aging, building a fuller smoother flavor that only comes from being aged four long years at jim beam our history is made from the inside how will you make yours? now try jim beam apple poured over ice and serve with club soda and a fresh lemon wedge to make a crisp, refreshing jim beam apple and soda.
12:10 am
dogs just won't quit. neither does new frontline gold. its triple action formula is relentless at killing fleas and ticks for a full 30 days. good boy! go for the gold. when it comes to risking social sepat toomey wrote the book. .. "i'm...i've got a whole chapter in my book where i... specifically lay out how i think we should... reform social security." toomey's plan requires wall street and bankers to manage... the accounts. collecting fees out of your social security that could... total billions. fees they collect, even if the market crashes and... seniors lose everything. pat toomey's looking out for wall street, not pennsylvania. dscc is responsible for the content of this advertising.
12:11 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest stars on the emmy award winning show, "modern family," which has its
12:12 am
eighth season premier wednesday night at 9:00 p.m. on abc. take a look at this. >> i see that it's cold and the flowers wilted. i see that my sister has been here. >> will you get over that? she couldn't have been nicer. we talked about joe. i told her how well your hot sauce business is going. by the way, have you tried one of these cookies? >> why did you tell her about the sauce? everybody get your things. we have to leave juarez right now. >> what? it took me 45 minutes to get into this outfit. >> you know how crazy sonya can to be. she's going to be so jealous now that she knows that i am a a very successful businesswoman. >> aren't you 400 bucks in the hole on that thing? >> you don't think this looks bad, us walking out before dinner? >> joe has a fever and he is sweating very much. >> no, i'm not. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ladies and gentlemen, please welcome sofia vergara! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:13 am
>> jimmy: i missed you, pal. >> buenos noches! >> jimmy: buenos noches. i missed you. thank you so much for coming back to the show. you look gorgeous, as always. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: congratulations, because since last time you were on the show, you got married. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: to joe manganiello. beautiful. >> last year in november, i got married. it was amazing. >> jimmy: and i heard just great stories from it. i heard you talking about it in some interviews ,but i heard that you guys just partied for like three days. >> it was like normal, three days. what do you mean? >> jimmy: oh is that no, that's not normal. >> of course. a lot of people came from colombia, from pittsburgh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you make pittsburgh sound so exotic. [ laughter ] but how do you keep everyone partying for three days? >> well, it was crazy, because i had this idea about i wanted everybody to enjoy everything because i had surprises, beautiful music, food. i just wanted people to feel safe because of the, you know.
12:14 am
and so i had iv, an iv truck, and so when you wake up in the morning, you will go get your iv, get hydrated. >> jimmy: wait, what? what? [ cheers and applause ] what? >> it was amazing. >> jimmy: if you're dehydrated, you go and get an iv. >> you get your iv, 20 minutes, nothing. [ laughter ] and everybody was able to enjoy the night again and again and again. >> jimmy: my gosh. just keep them hydrated. i wish i was at this party. you like throwing parties. you threw recently a a lemon-themed party. >> i love theme parties, entertaining. i love, like, you know, celebrating good things. [ laughter ] i mean, that's not like a a normal, like, thing that i do that i dress like that for parties. >> jimmy: yeah, but why -- >> it was my birthday and i was with some girls in italy for my birthday, but then something came up for work and i said, you know what, i'm going to recreate like if we were in capri, and i'm going to bring
12:15 am
like, limoncello and italian food . everything. and then at the end of the night, i really don't know how i ended up wearing that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the way it happens. and then you get in the iv truck. [ cheers and applause ] then you hop in the iv truck and get rehydrated. [ applause ] i have -- i want to show, i have some pictures because i heard that -- >> what pictures? >> jimmy: your husband is a big football fan. >> i mean, yeah. joe is not a fan. he's like obsessed. >> jimmy: die hard. >> he's like a sick person. >> jimmy: he loves football that much? >> it's like that i mean, i -- i think it's one of the most important things in his life. it's not just football. it's the steelers, the pittsburgh steelers. >> jimmy: the pittsburgh steelers. >> pittsburgh steelers. >> jimmy: pittsburgh steelers. >> yes. >> jimmy: but he does -- look, this is just -- look at his outfits, even down to his socks. >> but that's nothing. that was one of his subtle days, actually. because sometimes he has the
12:16 am
pants, too, the underwear, like the hat, the bandana, i mean, it's everything. he has a section in his clothes that is all, like, pittsburgh, like there are steelers outfits. >> jimmy: so are you a a pittsburgh fan? you have to be. >> i mean, after three years, it's like he's brainwashed me. i had no choice. it's like -- i'm always fighting with him because like sometimes i arrive home when the season starts like now, like a week ago, and even when he's alone to watch the games, he's in his whole outfits. [ laughter ] it's like i'm like, nobody's here. he's like, just him in front of the tv. >> jimmy: by himself, like, all geeked out. >> yeah. he owns, i think -- first of all, i think that he thinks, like, all those outfits are, like, wearing, like, i don't know, like tom ford or gucci or something. for him --. >> jimmy: i don't think this is gucci. i don't think this is -- [ laughter ] >> i'm like, joe, that's not like a brand of clothing, the
12:17 am
steelers logo is not. >> jimmy: yeah, but he treats it like that. >> but he yeah, he -- i mean, now i've learned to accept it. but at the beginning, it was kind of weird. he forces me a lot of things. like, i find me in the morning, like i have to go to set at 5:00 in the morning and i have my ninja coffee machine, that i prepare my coffee. my coffee i want to take it in my, like, thermal, you know -- the thing that you take your coffee. >> jimmy: a mug? >> a mug? >> jimmy: yeah, a mug, yeah. yeah. >> but not a regular mug. the one that keeps the hot. >> jimmy: okay. sure. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> so, like, if i put it there, you know, and i turn around one second and i grab it and i go, i realize he changed it into a a steelers one. [ light laughter ] so, like the whole day i'm stuck with the steelers thing. i always have a pen in my bag, because everybody needs a pen if i need to write something. >> jimmy: sure. >> i look for my pen.
12:18 am
he change it into the steeler pen. [ laughter ] it's everything. >> jimmy: he sneaks it in your life. >> i brought you something that he forces me to wear -- to have all the time. >> jimmy: whoa, wait. whoa. >> it's my steeler nail file. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's doing it very smart, though. >> but everywhere, like, i mean, i don't know i'm going to find these things in my house. okay. >> jimmy: you have to like the steelers. >> okay, it's a steeler fan. do you want it? you're not a steeler fan? >> jimmy: no, i am now, yeah. absolutely. [ laughter ] >> no, give it to me, then. he'll get mad. then he'll get mad. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you know the players and everything now? i mean, now that you know -- >> well, i don't know, really, what's going on, but i mean, i love the enthusiasm. >> jimmy: who's the quarterback? >> the -- ben. big ben. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: big ben. yeah. >> big ben. burger. >> jimmy: ben --
12:19 am
>> raw burger. [ laughter ] big ben. >> jimmy: roethlisberger. [ laughter ] rosterberry. >> they also have --. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. that is fantastic. >> they have a lot of good plays that i like. >> jimmy: they do. >> so now i love it. i love it. i love how he enjoys -- i mean, it's better that he's addicted to that than to something else. you know? he's at home with his whole outfit, no gambling somewhere in vegas with strippers. [ laughter ] so i shouldn't complain, right? >> jimmy: no, no, no. not at all. i like your accent and i think it would make the game more fun if i was watching it with you. >> what game? >> jimmy: well, i have this game idea and you don't have to say yes to it. but i just think i would love to hear you talk on helium. i thought that would be fun. [ cheers and applause ] i love your voice. but higher.
12:20 am
>> when you say you love my voice, you mean, you laugh at my voice? >> jimmy: no, no. i love i love it. >> what is this? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah, let me take that off. that's to close to keep the helium in there. so, here's what you do. we've not rehearsed this, so just, you inhale. >> it's like legal to inhale this thing? >> jimmy: yes. it's helium. yes. just inhale it and then maybe look into this camera over here, camera three, and say, "my name is sofia vergara." >> okay. i i i suck it first? >> jimmy: yep. >> my name -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm so happy. i'm so happy. i'm so happy. i'm so happy that this is happening. i'm so happy this is happening. >> you're going to have to pay me for this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love this. this is my favorite thing. >> what am i saying?
12:21 am
i forgot. >> jimmy: "my name is sofia vergara." yeah. >> my name is sofia vergara. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: cute. you could be one of the chipmunks. >> this is very good. no? >> jimmy: can you say something to our spanish speaking viewers? [speaking spanish] [ cheers and applause ] [speaking spanish] >> jimmy: can you say -- can you look into camera three and say ben roethlisberger? >> ben roethlisberger. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sofia vergara, everybody! "modern family," season premier airs wednesday at 9:00 p.m. on abc. mo performs for us next. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]
12:22 am
♪ [ "on the road again," by willie nelson ] ♪ on the road again [ rear alert sounds ] [ music stops ] ♪ just can't wait to get on the road again ♪ [ front assist sounds ] [ music stops ] [ girl laughs ] ♪ on the road again ♪ like a band of gypsies we go down the highway ♪ [ beetle horn honks ] no matter which passat you choose, you get more standard features, for less than you expected. hurry in and lease the 2017 passat s for just $199 a month. brewmaster. risktaker.. i sold everything i had to own a brewery. you might have heard its name... stella artois be legacy it's so delicious. i can't believe it has 40% fewer calories than butter. i can't believe it's made with
12:23 am
real, simple ingredients. i can't believe we're on a whale. i can't believe my role isn't bigger. oh, it's real. real ingredients. unbelievable taste. go ahead, enjoy. real ingredients. unbelievable taste. and you're talking to youro doctor about your medication... this is humira. this is humira helping to relieve my pain and protect my joints from further damage. this is humira helping me go further. humira works for many adults. it targets and helps to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to ra symptoms. humira has been clinically studied for over 18 years. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores.
12:24 am
don't start humira if you have an infection. ready for a new chapter? talk to your rheumatologist. this is humira at work. that lets you write con the screenen if you try to write, on a plain old mac the difference can be seen (it doesn't work) get the surface pro (the keyboard detaches from the screen) get the surface pro (i like the blue!) but she always told me i don't mcare if you turn out, to be a great athlete or whatever but, you need to make sure you get your college degree. sometimes i call the house, just to hear her voice. (phone ringing) answering machine: hi, leave a message after the beep. (beep) hey mom, this is larry. i just want to let you know that uh, i fulfilled the promise that you held me to. love you.
12:25 am
(beep) with the apple that bites back. redd's wicked apple. also available for a limited time in blood orange. gilman: go get it, marcus. go get it. gilman used his cash rewards credit card
12:26 am
from bank of america to earn 1% cash back everywhere, every time. at places like the batting cages. ♪ [ crowd cheers ] 2% back at grocery stores and now at wholesale clubs. and 3% back on gas. which helped him give his players something extra. the cash rewards credit card from bank of america. more cash back for the things you buy most. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
12:27 am
>> jimmy: tonight's musical guest is a danish singer/songwriter who will kick off the u.s. leg of her world tour in november. performing "final song," please welcome mo! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ please won't you wait won't you stay at least until the sun goes down ♪ ♪ when you're gone i lose faith i lose everything i have found ♪ ♪ heart strings violins that's what i hear when you're by my side ♪ ♪ yeah that's what i hear when you're by my side ♪ ♪ but when you're gone the music goes i lose my rhythm lose my soul ♪ ♪ so hear me out before you say the night is over ♪ ♪ i want you to know
12:28 am
that we gotta gotta carry on so don't let this be our final song ♪ ♪ so don't let this be our final song so hear me out before you say the night is over ♪ ♪ i want you to know that we gotta gotta carry on so don't let this be our final song ♪ ♪ baby when we were young there was nothing to make believe ♪ ♪ and the songs that we sang they were written for you and me ♪ ♪ melodies on repeat that's what i hear when you're by my side ♪ ♪ yeah that's what i hear when you're by my side ♪ ♪ but when you're gone the music goes i lose my rhythm lose my soul ♪ ♪ so hear me out before you say the night is over ♪ ♪ i want you to know that we gotta gotta carry on
12:29 am
so don't let this be our final song ♪ ♪ so don't let this be our final song so hear me out before you say the night is over ♪ ♪ i want you to know that we gotta gotta carry on so don't let this be our final song ♪ ♪ woo ooo take us to a higher ground ♪ ♪ here and now whatever you do just don't look down ♪ ♪ woo ooo underneath the disco light it's alright ♪ ♪ we could make the perfect sound we could make the perfect sound ♪ ♪ but when you're gone the music goes i lose my rhythm lose my soul ♪ ♪ so hear me out before you say the night is over ♪
12:30 am
♪ i want you to know that we gotta gotta carry on so don't let this be our final song ♪ ♪ so don't let this be our final song so hear me out before you say the night is over ♪ ♪ i want you to know that we gotta gotta carry on so don't let this be our final song ♪ ♪ woo take us to a higher ground ♪ ♪ here and now whatever you do just don't look down ♪ ♪ woo underneath the disco light it's alright ♪ ♪ we could make the perfect sound ♪ ♪ woo take us to a higher ground ♪ ♪ here and now whatever you do just don't look down ♪ ♪ woo underneath the disco light it's alright ♪
12:31 am
♪ don't let this be our final song ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love that! i love that! oh, thank you so much! mo! how great was that? tickets to her tour are on sale now. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:32 am
newspapers know the real story on pat toomey. on background checks for gun buyers... toomey has shown the courage few others have... toomey steps up on checks... toomey is on the right side... state leaders should follow toomey lead. no wonder leading pennsylvania police organizations endorse pat toomey as best to protect our families. independence usa pac is responsible for the content of this advertising.
12:33 am
idonald trump says he alone can fix the problems we face. well i don't believe that's how you get things done in our country. it takes democrats and republicans working together. that's how we got health care for 8 million kids. rebuilt new york city after 9/11.
12:34 am
and got the treaty cutting russia's nuclear arms. we've got to bring people together. that's how you solve problems and that's what i'll do as president.
12:35 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to mark wahlberg, sofia vergara, mo, once again, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for watching. have a great night! i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:36 am
12:37 am
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight, james spader. from "lethal weapon," actress jordana brewster. music from the cadillac three. featuring the 8g band with elaine bradley. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right! that's great to hear. in that case let's get to the news. president obama gave his final speech before the u.n. general assembly today, saying, quote, "well, they're your problem now." [ laughter ]


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on