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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  September 2, 2009 12:05am-1:05am EDT

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finally tonight, it's not just wildfire season but hurricane season as well and tn delivered a blow to baja, california. with no regard either for the tourists or the locals who stayed behind. david kerley is there. >> this is a scenic cabo san lucas as the eye of hurricane jimena passes to the north now. the back end of the storm hitting here. storm surge continues, but there hasn't been the kind of rain that it was expected to bring. earlier in the day we were in a shanty town and within minutes streets there became raging rivers which is why officials were so worried about getting people out of there. many did evacuate. it appears if everything continues as it is now, this
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storm will cause much less damage than forecasters and officials had expected. for "nightline," david kerley for abc news. and tropical storm erica formed this afternoon east of antigua island with a three-day forecast for puerto rico landfall. our thanks to david kerley for that out in california. and tomorrow on "nightline" we look at what warning signs were missed in the jaycee lee dugard kidnapping case, and whether this terrible crime committed so many years ago may have been prevented. but that is our report for tonight. "jimmy kimmel live" is up next. for now, i'm terry moran. for cynthia mcfadden and martin bashir and all of us at abc news, good night, america. hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. summer is winding down, but it's not too late to book your hotels through when you do, you can get a free
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night stay every time you accumulate ten nights. >> i know you are, but what am i? >> guillermo, what's going on over there? >> you smell like a goat. i am humiliating this knight, jimmy. >> why? >> you just said i could get a free night stay with every time i humiliate ten knights. this is number seis. >> no, no. guillermo, i said you need to accumulate ten nights to get a free night. you understand? >> humiliate? >> accumulate! >> humiliate? >> accumulate. >> oh, haccumulate. >> close enough. and with welcome rewards from you can stay just about anywhere. big chains, boutique hotels, bed and breakfasts. even resorts. and you can start earning your free night as soon as this labor day weekend. >> that's good news. ighty iidy i accumulated you,
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because i love you. >> sleep around and get reedrd . welcome rewards from a smarter way to book. >> "jimmkimmmmel live," backn two nunutes witha dgwiwick, papaonon oswaalt and muufrfr datarock. hey y smarart, how? heag ee n nights s from hotels.c. wewell, funnyou should a asksk.. you see, after book 10 nigs,s, i get a free one. sai spspd 2 nighghts at a a bigame hotel, at a boutiquque,e, and 5 at a beaeach r resesor ( dings,s, monkey atrs ) ( a by voice )) araren you a smamart o o? ( monk laughs s ) accula0 ninights anget ninight freeee. welcerewards fromom hotcom.m. smart. smart. i just gave y some at the reststauaurant. yeyea i i knknowi rew t. old! thth arere rollovever minus. they are e as good as new. ya know not everyone gets to keep their unused minutes.
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powerful anti-aging therapies that reduce the look of lines and pores, even tone, brighten, smooth, hydrate, and lock-in moisture, of total effects. >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- kyra sedgwick. from "big fan", patton oswalt. and music from datarock. with cleto and the cletones.
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and now, after all has been said and done, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> that's very nice. hello. welcome to the show. i'm jimmy. and please, whatever happens tonight, don't let your breathing get in the way of the laughter. for those of you visiting the fair city i hope you brought a super soaker because what a beautiful time of the year in los angeles. [ laughter ] the leaves are changing color from green to black. it's -- these fires are unbelievable, aren't they? they say there are something like 17 wildfires not just here, but burning in eight westen
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states. i don't know what i'll do -- just turn it off already. enough is enough. but these fires are mostly in the suburbs and fortunately most of the suburbs were evacuated three months ago when all the houses were reclosed on. so -- but california, right now the only thing that california has going for it is that frankenstein wouldn't come near us. our governor/body builder arnold schwarzenegger held a press conference and the firefighters are doing everything they can to put the flames out. >> arnold schwarzenegger now giving up an update on the wildfires in california. let's listen in. >> we have 133,000 acres that have been burned so far. we have right now -- eight major fires. one is almost put out and there's only seven left. >> at this point he might as well. it's less smokey to breathe through a cigar than the regular air. i don't know if you remember, we threw gray davis out of the office because he wasn't the
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state effectively enough and now we're holding garage salesow to pay our bills that's wha we get for hi ringchearp fongeign labor. i saa ctpiure p this weekend of a guy playing golf at the country club. there he is, surrounded by fire. that had no effect on his desire to play which led me to the conclusion, that any man who plays golf within 5,000 yards of a major fire is probably having marital problems. the fires could claim 150,000 acres, could burn for two more weeks. already destroyed a house formerly owned by vince on "entourage". you know, it's one thing to hear a number, but when a fire consumes a house that once belonged to an imaginary tv character, that's when it really hits home. two weeks is a long time for a fire that's burning for a week already. in a way we're kind of getting used it to, which presents a
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challenge for the local news station. they have to keep the coverage fresh and in fact one of them has already hired a celebrity weather reporter. >> that's hot. [ laughter ] that's hot. that's hot. that's huge. >> well, she's right. she's also very good at describing the sun. the fire and the heat here isn't just affecalsos so aalecffting . especially ong s insesneseo s. especially ones who depend on tourism. look at madame tussaud's wax museum today. poor mr. t. they have to recarve him from scratch. same thing happened to joan rivers too. the real. there's ash on almost everything including in the air we're breathing which according to what i remember from high school biology not good. to help everyone understand how to deal with the smoke, we have elicited our staff medical expert to answer your health
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related questions. it's time now to ask dr. uncle frank. >> dr. uncle frank here, today keeping you healthy. we have other help from crispy critter of sherman oaks, california. what can i do to avoid breathing the smoke and ash from the station wildfire? take a lot of baths and put your head under the water as long as you can. then get up, breathe very little, go under water again and do this until all the fires are out. if you can. if you have a job that you can stay home. just stay under water as much as you can and breathe as little as you can above the water. that's the answer. it's the only answer. >> when he's right, he's right. the only answer. inonnew y, orkergovnoyork, gov
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patersee hr basn trying b to shave off his beard. here is the beardless david patterson. i'm not sure if he meant to keep the mustache, but he shaved off one of his eyebrows. don't tell him though. this makes him the first governor to get rid of his beard since former new jersey governor mcgreevey fired for divorce. michael jackson's father joe was on the "today" show yesterday where he strongly denied reports that he is angry after his son's death. >> we met with joe jackson at the palms in las vegas on saturday. what would have been michael's 51st birthday. there was a tribute concert celebrating michael's life and when it was over, joe and i discussed his tragic death. are you angry? >> no, i'm not angry. i'm mad. >> oh. all right. big difference. i wish people could keep their facts straight. he's not angry, he's mad.
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big news from the walt disney corporation which happens to be our employer. disney has announced plans to buy marvel comics for $4.01 of the jonas brothers. quite a deal. i'm not sure but i think disney owns every animated character except for the toe fungus monsters. it's especially big news for our hollywood boulevard superheroes who are the men and women who brave the heat outside our theater for between 40 and $80 in tips every day. we went out on the street to get their reaction to this major business news. >> captain america is all for this merger. marvel and disney are going to make some wonderful half disney babies. with cinderella, aerial, tierbell, jasmine. they all got wonderful little feet. and great little bodies. [ laughter ] it's going to be amazing.
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>> well, that's -- congratulations. paid $4 billion for him. as of this morning, same-sex marriage is now legal in the state of vermont. gay couples can now legally wed like everyone else. [ cheers and applause ] for a liberal vermonters like this one, the news was cause for much celebration. >> yeah! >> someone had to keep that clip alive, you know? in honor of the new law a ben & jerry's the ice cream company has announced they'll rename chubby hubby ice cream to hubby hubby ice cream. for real. they changed the name of super fudge chunk to something i can't say on tv. but -- [ laughter ] but today we got ahold of some the new ice cream and we sent my cousin sal out on the streets of hollywood to give people a celebratory taste.
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>> this is ben & jerry's brand new flavor, called hubby hubby. do you like it? what do you think? >> very good. >> yeah. do you know what it is? it's the first gay ice creamn the market. [ laughter ] >> yep? >> what do you think now? >> it's still good. >> still good? >> still good. >> i know. i have been eating it all day. >> yep. >> give me a kiss. >> what's up! [ laughter ] >> just give me a kiss. just give me a kiss. >> no. no. you all right. you all right. g'm ing to o o 'm h. .m m going to kiss him, fool. i'm going him. [ cheers and applause ] >> very sweet. sexual harassment, but very sweet. one more thing, the daytime emmy awards were handed out sunday night. rachael ray won, tyra banks won
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and my dear friends from "the view" won. but the best part was their 40th anniversary to "sesame street." "sesame street" came on the air when i was a year old, so to me that means a lot. i have to admit when it came time to honor the many muppet who passed away over the years i could not help but shed a tear. ♪ ♪m >> don't worry, he's fine. we have a good show tonight. on the show tonight, patton oswalt is here. datarock is here. and we'll be right back with kyra sedgwick, so stick around. this is lisa and jackn. they told us they wanted a laptop with....
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- jackson: speed. - lisa: a big hard drive. and a good gaming computer. ...for under $1500. we told them, "you find it, you keep it." - let's check these out. - this is nice. - yeah. - let's go see the macs. these are way more money, dude. it's a little too small. maybe we'd rather go pc. - let's try that for him. - this is good for games, right? - yeah. - both: blu-ray! - jackson: we're ready to buy this one. - what?! - we're buying this! - jackson: i'm a pc and i'm 11.
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and uh, i'm not. - we're buying this! - jackson: i'm a pc and i'm 11. ♪ ♪ i'm cool like that, i'm cool like that ♪ ♪ i'm cool like that [ female announcer ] there's a smarter, cooler way to get your clothes brilliantly clean. and it's a turn for the better. ♪ i'm cool like that, i'm cool like that ♪ [ female announcer ] tide coldwater. it's specially formulated to clean in cold better than the other brand does in warm. ♪ cool like that and by washing in cold, you can save up to $10 on your energy bill with every 100 oz bottle. and that's cool. tide coldwater. get out of the old and into the cold. ♪ i'm cool like that
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♪ hi, there. we're back. you know, people have been writing in for weeks asking that we make tonight's show good, and i have decided to honor their request. joining us from the movie "big fan", which is open in new york and philadelphia right now, it opens nationwide on the 11th of september, the very funny patton oswalt is here. [ cheers and applause ] also tonight, donning colorful track suits playing music from this, their new album, "red", it came out today, music from datarock on the pontiac garage stage. tomorrow night, emile hirsch, amber valletta and music from st. vincent. and later this week, gerard butler, kathie lee gifford, milo ventimiglia, nate berkus, and music from maxwell and r. kelly. so please join us for that.
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i want to show everyone something. for those of you who saw the show last week you know i've been choking to death for no reason. to apparent reason, spasmodically my vocal chords are closing on their own. i diagnosed this on the internet but heroically i have been carrying on with the show. [ applause ] seems like -- seems like that would have been the reaction without having to light the sign, right? [ laughter ] anyway, i went to the doctor yesterday. and he gave me -- he gave me some medication and he gave me some information on a new diet that he wants me to go on. >> really? you're thrilled. >> this will be my first diet. shouldn't say new diet. so this is what i was given. like a child. now, the first thing is avoid spicy, acidic tomato based or fatty foods and like a pizza.
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as he handed this to me, the pizza oven at my house was being white -- heated up. limit your intake of coffee and colas. watctch your weight, being overweight increases the abdominal essure. i want you to zoom in on that if you can. i think it's funny that i'm actually fatter thanan the cartn overweight number. [ lalaughter ] i would be happy if that was the number that popped up. number four, don't gorge yourself at meal time. well, when am i supposed to do it? while driving. number five, don't keexercise t soon after eating. that one i can do. havemeals three to four hours before lying down. don't smoke, i don't, which is great. and elevate e your bed. i'm okay with five, seven and eight. the rest i think i'm just going to take double the pills that he gave me.
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so terrific. thank you so much for that. can you believe that, uncle frank? >> it's true. >> it is true? do you think i should go along with that? >> yes. >> guillermo, you should get on this diet with me. >> no thank you. [ laughter ] >> all right. our first guest is having a very busy september. even though we're in the first day. her new action movie "gamer" opens friday. she's nominated for her role in "the closer" at the emmy awards later this month, and she has been preparing for months to dazzle us all during this appearance here tonight. please say hello to kyra sedgwick. [ cheers and applause ] how you doing? >> good. how are you? >> i'm doing -- well, i have been better. >> i know, clearly the reflux is a drag. >> it's terrible, i can't eat pizza. >> actually, i have that too.
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>> you do? >> i think it's what everybody has. it's the disease of the moment. >> i don't have to do the things on the thing? >> no, if you want to stop choking. >> i wake up at night and i can't breathe. did you ever have that? >> no. >> probably because i'm fat. >> you're not fat. >> i'm fatter than i appear. i'm wearing spandex -- i wear a few pairs of spanx. do they come in spanx? i don't know. how has your summer been? >> good. >> i have been working really hard, but i started off the summer with a bang. in may, i was invited to the correspondent's dinner. did you get invited to that? >> i did not. >> i'm sorry. sorry. >> yeah. >> well, anyway, i'm sitting -- >> did they have pizza? >> no, they had bad chicken. well, the correspondent's dinner is like it's something that, you know, you get invited to by the president. i literally got an invitation on my, you know, blueberry -- my
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blackberry thing. >> your blueberry? >> come have dinner wh the president. >> sure. >> so what could be more exciting than that? >> pretty exciting. >> obama and michelle and the girls, maybe they'll come too and we'll hang out. the correspondent's dinner is where the top a-list politicians and people come and b-list and c-list -- >> and they make terrible jokes about what they do all year long and they laugh about it. >> exactly. >> i got it. >> i was excited about being invited and kevin and i went. >> your husband is kevin bacon, we should say. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. thank you. >> by the way, another thing i can't have -- bacon. >> oh. >> i'm sorry. i'm only thinking of myself. >> i feel you. i really do. it's really hard to work around the schedule of taking the pills and everything. >> yeah. yeah. >> because it's like you're supposed to remember an hour
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before you actually take the pill. >> yeah, but it's not like i'm going to get pregnant or something if ion't. i'm sorry -- >> we show up and there's 2,500 people there and that's first crushing disappointment. then i'm sitting close to the dias where they are, but you know, they're further away than i had imagined. there's a red robe and i'm thinking this is cool, i'm close by. you know? and i'm sitting there with the head of cnn and a bunch of other great press people. oh, janet napolito. the head of homeland -- >> napolitano. it's -- >> oh, yeah, like the pastry. another thing you can't have. >> oh, i will. its against the rules. >> so we're sitting there and
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chatting and ashton kutcher and demi moore are there. >> what? >> yeah, sitting with me at the table. all of a sudden i notice all the really famous people walking in a little late. and it's tom cruise and it's trudie and sting and i'm like, hey, guys, hey. so, you know, i note -- i know sting. you know, a little bit. >> pretty good, yeah. >> pretty good. i said, how you doing? because this is so exciting, it was so great to meet the president. i was like -- well, we haven't met him yet because he hasn't come out. he said no, at the cocktail party. i didn't make the cocktail party. >> oh, no. why would sting tell you that? >> he figured i was there. >> yeah. >> i mean, it must have been like quite a few people and we didn't make the cut. >> you have to write a letter to oprah or something. it's unacceptable. you were disappointed. >> yeah.
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i saw him, he was great, he's cute an adorable and michelle looked amazing. it was great and he was funny. then -- i sat with ashton and demi and they talked to me about twitter. >> oh, my god. >> are you a twitterer? >> no. >> anyone here a twitterer? [ applause ] >> not as many as i thought. >> most of them don't speak english. >> so i don't know anything about twitter and they told me about twitter. demi said it's great. you talk about what you want and people talk back to you. it's a very polite community and, you know, it's a fun thing to do. i was like, yeah, i guess i could talk about a couple of things. she said, you know, tell me how to do it. well, you have to go online and you have to pick out a user name. but all the famous people's user names are gone. so she went on as mrs. kutcher. i was fully -- i thought, your name will be definitely gone.
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so i went online, when i got home. all ready to try it. give it a shot. so i went online and i punched in my name. it was available. >> oh, no. [ laughter ] >> and so -- it's one of those, you're not as cool as you think moment and this was right after not being invited to the cocktail party. so i picked out a user name. not my own. then i picked out a password and, you know, i have a -- it was a little tricky getting the whole password thing. i punched in and immediately ten e may ha-mails pop up, people w follow you. i thought, this is great, i'm already popular. what could be better than that? i'm thinking, who are these people? don't recognize anybody, janet l and a profile pops up with a gigantic picture of her. it's a picture of this beautiful
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blonde lady with a gigantic [ bleep ] in her [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] like -- >> what? >> really big. like bigger -- and i think it was real. >> wow. >> i haven't -- >> i have to get on this twitter. [ laughter ] and so did you -- did you -- did you accept her -- >> no, i don't want you following me. >> really? so that to you is a no-no? >> that was a no-no. >> that's good for people know. >> for people to know. >> if you want to twitter with kyra, don't have, um, that one of those -- >> gigantic -- >> in your mouth. it can be anywhere else, just not in your mouth, right? now, the new movie is called "the gamer". >> just "gamer". not the.
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>> it looks like a cool movie. >> it takes place in the not too distant future where humans are controlling other humans onion line -- on on line gaming -- >> i'm looking forward to that time. i have some mplans for you, as matter of fact. me and janet l. [ laughter ] >> i plalaa reportrterandd who, you know, , the's three didifferent worlrlds. it's kind of complicated and difficicult to sort one-line, but but there a are tee different major games i go in bebetween all the different t games and there's l --here's d differerent wlds and d it's reallyy fantststicaly yoknow, youou sit wn in your seatnd you're lilike tis the wholtime. it is perft 90 mimites. and it's lilike a rolleroaster clip? e need set up the
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i'm trying to save him -- he is a death row inmate who is being played by this young boy and it's kill or be killed combat and she gets hooked into the story and she's trying to pull him to safety because everyone is after him. >> very good. here is kyra sedgwick in "gamer". >> get down! >> i can get you out of here. >> i can't believe it's you. listen, you can trust me. i swear.
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>> if not, you're dead. >> there you go. kyra sedgwick in "gamer". it opens friday. we'll be right back with patton oswalt. (german folk music plays)
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are you just gna take that? no... pc world's readers called mac #1 in realiability. he's laughing at you. i'm not laughing at you. he's #1 in customer satisfaction. what are you?? okay, maybe we could try some positive reinforcement. sure. you're doing a good job mac. thanks. hey! for post party sickness syndrome. cascade all-in-one actionpacs. it has the power to pre-wash... and then rinse the whole mess away. cascade all-in-one actionpacs. for a perfect clean, every time. ( music, words in reverse ) what could you win? i won! live nation vip concert access with scrabble at subway! play the game millions have won. everything from prius cars... to $100,000 jackpots, trips and vip concert access.
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(announcer) switch to verizon and get a dedicated high speed internet connection from our office to your small business so you won't be swed down even if your neighbors are online. call the verizon center for customers with disabilities at 800-974-6006 tty/v today and for only $79.99 a month for 12 months with a 3 year contract you'll also get our award winning internet security suite, unlimited nationwide calling, and over $180 back in available online rebates. plus, the reliability of the verizon network. call the verizon center for customers with disabilities at 800-974-6006 tty/v today for the verizon single line business pak and data protection pak. one of the many tools in the verizon small business toolbox. ♪ hello, we're back. still to come, datarock will be here. our next guest is one of the funniest people in the english -- ever to speak english i have ever met. you know him from "the king of
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queens", "reno 911" and "ratatouille". now he adds the title lead actor to his resume in the movie "big fan" opening september 11. please welcome patton oswalt. [ cheers and applause ] >> hole -- hello, guys. hello. >> good to see you and -- >> thank you. >> i see you're safe and sound, know ethe wildfires are right where you live. >> yeah. did you go outside at all today? >> i did. >> it's yellow, everything is yellow outside. and so it looks like everything is in this weird 1920's old timy flash back. have you noticed that today? in '09, people used electronic mail to contact each other down low and observe and report on their ipods and watching on the treadmills. it was a crazy time. but -- and then also, so not only is the world yellow right
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now. but then the sky looks like a -- basically.vy metal album cover you owlike in the evening. it has this weird sinister, look a ronnie james dio album and they have taken the dio away and whenever my wife are arguing, i took the baby to the store and i was trying on a dress and the baby pooped on the dress and i had to buy the dress and i feel like there's a wrong background to the back of us. i feel like there should be demons flying and i don't want to go to the market to get produce and it's line this movie sucks, who did the background on this? >> you're in your own version of hell. >> but i thought in hell of, they're going to -- but i thought in hell they'd be taking off my skin today. i thought, did you not tivo "flipping out" because there's like three episodes i'm missing and then behind me mount doom is
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erupting. and skulls, it looks stupid. >> you must be very concerned about your comic book collection. have you made sure that that is -- and your wife and daughter, of course. but also your comic books. >> wife and kid, they'll be fine. but comics, i should -- i don't know if the ash-proof bags, i'm a little worried right now. >> you better get the ash-proof bags immediately. >> you don't wa to get debris on -- >> i'd dial 911. >> did i say get ash on the thing? leave it alone. >> i heard that you might have jury duty this week. >> this is the fourth time i have gotten the notice and i'm not -- i would actually like to be on the jury. i would like -- >> you would, for real? >> i would. i want to send a child molester to solo dad, that would be fun. but in l.a., you have to call i the day before. it's like winning a radio call-in contest.
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like you call in and enter a number and then they go, you're not needed. you feel like you suck. >> you're -- you're calling 98.7. >> sorry we don't need you for jury duty tomorrow, but listen to this from nickel back. like i want to go in. >> i thought it would be fun if we called on the air to see if you have to go tomorrow. i know you brought -- >> this is -- this is the form that they send you. here's my juror -- >> i don't want to show your home number there. all right. i'm going to dial the number. i have it here. this is real. >> this is real. >> you do not know whether you have jury duty tomorrow or not. >> i have no idea. you have to call after 5:00 p.m. >> welcome -- the superior court's jury services support system. [ speaking in spanish ] >> guillermo, what are they saying? >> find out if you need to report to service. press one. >> hit one. >> your nine digit juror i.d. number. >> put that number in.
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>> i'm not good at this thing. there it is. >> please enter your four-digit pin. >> for the juror i.d. number, 084 -- >> you may be ineligible. this may be a felony. >> press one to see -- >> responding to the deepening statewide financial crisis -- >> listen to this message. >> starting july -- >> they're saying we're out of money so the third wednesday we just don't have court. yeah, we don't have it. really? thursday is murder's legal >> we apologize for any inconvenience. >> come on. here we go. >> please report for service on -- >> yes! i'm going in. oh, wow. i go in tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] >> okay. they're saying you should wear a suit. >> uh-huh.
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>> no pants on the suit though also. >> what? >> you really -- >> i really have to go in. >> congratulations. >> i'm going in. [ cheers and applause ] i'm actually -- no, i really am. i know that sounds weird. i would like to be on a jury. >> oh, this is going to be great in six months when you're still on a jury. >> oh, i know, that will be awesome. >> like some stupid -- like a guy robbed a 7-11 and is suing the 7-11. >> my wife is like, just pay the parking ticket! my career is in the dumper. >> that is not true at all. >> oh, look at this. cafeteria and snack bar. >> oh, that's nice. >> i'm very excited. >> you might want to take this along with you. >>eah, acid reflux. hey, i wonder if -- >> the coming book. >> could this get me out -- i checked your snack bar, i have to follow these.
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the guy brought drawings for god's sake. >> i want to congratulate you, not only is the movie very good, but you did a great job in the movie "big fan". [ applause ] you do know. you play an obsessed new york giants fan, football fan. who's become a popular caller in to a radio show. these are kind of the cashes that we all know and -- the characters that we all know and love. you don't, because you're not a sports fan. >> no, but the world i walk around in i understand obsessiveness and kind of not being able to connect with society. so i just -- every time they were talking about the giants in my mind, i just saw thor of captain america and i was fine. >> you imagine yourself calling into the comic book radio shows. >> i thought that was not issue that wolverine debuted in. we have a clip and the woman who played your mom in the movie was
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fantastic. >> marcia jean kurts. she was in "dog day afternoon". she's like sydney lumet's girl. she's in all his movies. >> she was terrific in the movie. we have a clip. do we need to set it up? >> you know what, let's just watch it. >> so my mother -- i saw a squirrel. >> it's a real riot, not being wasteful. >> what's a riot, you doing this all these years. >> you're a sick boy, you know that, paul. you need help. >> you need 6,000 egg rolls to put all that stuff on. >> there you go. called "big fan". it's opening in new york and philadelphia right now and opening nationwide on september 11. if you have not seen him do stand-up comedy, you definitely
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should. it's called "my weakness is strong". patton oswalt, everybody. 96 hundred. 3 hundred 15. twenty. 1 powerful offer. now get 0% apr for 60 months on all sierra 1500s. gmc sierra. see your gmc dealer today.
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here's another "nattyism" with natty light. y' is rdwos "natapult." natapult. the act... of launching a natty light... for the purpose of eliminating time spent walng as in... tom, natapult me a cold one... so these vultures... don't take my seat. natty light. now you're talkin'.
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to buy raisin bran extra! i'm surprised nobody else is here for the big debut of the almonds. oh, guys, i can see it! they're setting it up right now! is it true? are thee really going to be cranberries? yep, i can see the boxes, and there's definitely yogurty clusters in there too! i think this is a 24-hour store. introducing kellogg's® raisin bran extra! with cranberries, almonds and yogurty clusters, it's raisin bran with so much extra. ♪ raisin bran extra! it's a mouthful of awesome! it's raisin bran with so much extra. ♪ yes, you're lovely... ♪ what do you think? hey, why don't we use our points from chase sapphire and take a break? we can't. sure, we can. the points don't expire... ♪ there is nothing for me... ♪ there's no travel restrictions... we could leave tomorrow. we can't use them for a vacation. you can use the points for just about anything. i know... ♪ the way you look tonight ♪ chase what matters. get your new chase sapphire card at
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well, this is their new album. it just came out today called "red". here with the song "true stories", datarock. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ ♪ born under punches cross eyed and painless ♪ ♪ slippery people i'm not in love ♪ ♪ houses in motion a road to nowhere ♪ ♪ once in a lifetime i'm not in love ♪ ♪ don't worry about the government the democratic circus ♪ ♪ 'cause mommy daddy, you and i are burning down the house ♪ ♪ hey hey hey hey psycho killer ♪ ♪ radiohead television man
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i'm not in love ♪ ♪ puzzling evidence seen and not seen ♪ ♪ this must be the place i'm not in love ♪ ♪ don't worry about the government ♪ ♪ the democratic circus 'cause mommy daddy, you and i ♪ ♪ are burning down the house i get wild ♪ ♪ wild gravity wild wildlife ♪ ♪ the big country hey hey hey hey ♪ ♪ hey hey hey hey don't worry about the government ♪ ♪ the democratic circus 'cause mommy daddy, you and i ♪
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♪ are burning down the house ♪ i get wild wild gravity ♪ ♪ wild wild life the big country ♪ ♪ i get wild wild gravity ♪ ♪ wild, wild life the big country ♪ ♪ hey hey hey hey [ cheers and applause ]
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