tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC August 14, 2009 3:05am-4:00am EDT
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very, very much. oh, it's a great crowd. great thursday crowd. i can feel the energy. [ cheers and applause ] it's almost friday. everyone's feeling it. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. a lot of news. congratulations, first of all, to judge sonya sotomayor, who was just confirmed by the u.s. senate for the supreme court. isn't that great? [ cheers and applause ] so exciting. so exciting. i'm not sure how this works. so, does she sit next to randy or simon cowell? [ laughter ] either way, it's going to be a great season. it's going to be great, i can't wait. yesterday, ryan seacrest said he was stunned by the news that paula abdul would not be returning to "american idol." in fact, seacrest was so shocked that the highlights on his arm hair stood straight up. [ light laughter ] you heard about the north korea thing and bill clinton, all that stuff? it was an amazing story. brought back the two journalists. well, north korea, it turns out, they were offered a meeting with
al gore in exchange for the two american journalists, but kim jong-il wanted to meet with bill clinton instead. al gore said, "i have no hard feelings at all," and then he gained 70 pounds and grew a beard. [ laughter and applause ] it was just really weird. it was odd what he did. really weird. hey, in this week's "parade" magazine, brad pitt says that the secret grotto behind the waterfall in his pool is a great place for sex. he said that's a great place to have sex. the guy sleeps with angelina jolie. [ laughter ] where's the bad place to have sex? [ laughter and applause ] what's wrong with that guy? what's wrong with him? he's loco. more americans are using food stamps than ever before. over 34 million, which explains bravo's new show "top chef: boyardee edition." [ laughter ] that should be exciting. yesterday, i read the two broadway producers garth drabinsky and myron gottlieb were sentenced to prison for scamming investors out of millions of dollars.
it won't be easy in there. no one wants you in their prison gang when your names are garth and myron. [ laughter ] these two guys. the new issue of "time" magazine says that moderate exercise is not effective when trying to lose weight. you want to lose weight, you need a really strenuous workout, like trying to get a spoon into a frozen pint of cookie dough ice cream. [ laughter ] that's like -- every spoonful, you burn, like, 300 calories. i read that somewhere. i heard that maybe. well, after 22 years, the arena football league has shut down and filed for bankruptcy. [ audience aws ] it was doing really well for a while. then it just ran into a wall. and that's where -- [ laughter ] then it bounced off, and they counted it as points and -- [ laughter ] i never understood the rules of it. but still fascinating. a new study says the popularity of social networking websites among older people has led to a drop-off in younger users. also led to an increase in status updates that read, "am i writing this on your wall or your mailbox?
can other people see this or --" [ laughter and applause ] speaking of social networking, twitter shut down this morning after the website was attacked by hackers. people have really been freaking out about it. ashton kutcher has been crying all afternoon. [ laughter ] shaq just picked up a phone book, started giving people updates to random people. he's like, "hey, i'm the best." [ laughter ] "i'm bringing the noise into funk." [ laughter ] "where can shaq buy a tiny bicycle? please re-tweet." [ laughter ] here's some interesting research from duke university. compared to olympic athletes 100 years ago, olympic athletes today are taller and heavier. also higher. [ laughter ]
they're higher. i don't believe that. i don't believe that one. and finally, an emergency call center in waterloo, iowa, became the first in the country to accept text messages to 911. operators will give the highest priority to messages that include the letters "wtf" and a frowny face. [ laughter and applause ] all right, everybody, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome to e show, everybody. it's going to be a fun night. i just want to say, one of the guys that works here, he's a segment producer, his cousin is j.a. happ. he's a rookie pitcher for the phillies. [ cheers and applause ] and he pitched a -- so last night, last night -- the roots are from philly. that's why they're going crazy. but last night he pitched a shutout.
a complete game shutout. phillies versus colorado, ten strikeouts. this guy's having a good season. congrats to j.a. happ. we're rooting for you, buddy. i like that guy. we're rooting for you here. well, tonight, you may know him as "entourage's" ari gold. we got jeremy piven here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] i love the piv. he's a great dude. he's so talented. he's a funny guy. he's arring in the new film "the goods: live hard, sell hard." that's coming out this week. creator and star of the new film "paper heart," the very funny charlyne yi is joining us as well. [ cheers and applause ] and we've got melanie fiona performing for us tonight. i'm excited. she's great. [ cheers and applause ] she's going to be great. we've got a great show, everybody. but first, you guys know robert pattinson? [ cheers ] [ boos ] he's the dude who plays the vampire in the "twilight" movies. yeah, i agree with you. that guy is one tasty dish. [ laughter ] well, a couple of weeks ago, we
showed you a video he posted on youtube where he was pretty upset about all the attention the "harry potter" movie was getting. and just between you and me, it seemed like maybe he was a little jealous. but it turns out "harry potter" is not the only thing robert pattinson's bothered about. he actually started his own website. it's called robertisbothered.com. [ laughter ] and he keeps posting things on it. this guy's got a real chip on his shoulders. take a look.th ♪ >> jimmy: i'm robert pattinson. sometimes i come up to my tree when things bother me. you know what bothers me? cable television. [ laughter ] the discovery channel bothers me. it's shark week on discovery channel, and that is quite popular, isn't it? wow, millions of people watching sharks swim 'round and 'round. sharks are stupid. [ laughter ] sharks bite people when they smell blood. sound familiar? oh, yeah, wait, they're like vampires. copycat fishes.
[ laughter ] copyfishes. i can fly. sharks can swim. that's pathetic. sharks have fins that stick out of the water. i don't drink water. i don't drink anything. i don't pee. [ laughter ] i walk into a men's room, i see a urinal. i don't know what the use of it is. hey, pan back because i don't pee. i'm a vampire. sharks sleep with their eyes open. they swim while they're asleep. what the [ bleep ] is that? [ laughter ] sharks make me dream. [ laughter ] i love her, and it's a secret. well, it is true. it is our secret. isn't it, honey? shh. don't you hate shark week, too? [ laughter ] i want to watch something else. i want to watch "cash cab" or the other shows on discovery. what do you mean you like shark week? you can't. it's impossible. it's -- [ laughter ] [ laughter ] shark week, come here. hey.
come here. shark week. i want to tell you that you suck. sharks bother me. [ laughter ] i don't like them. can someone put my chair in the tree? how am i supposed to sit on it here? can i just -- i need a starbucks or something. this is -- ♪ bothered! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's just bothered. anyway, check out robertisbothered.com. and stick around, everybody. we'll be right back with "wheel of carpet samples." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i love beer. i drink beer daily on taste panel here at the brewery.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. welcome back. and thank you for watching. well, everyone, i'm so excited. coming up is my favorite game. this game is amazing. if you like carpets, and you like samples, you are going to love this. it's a game we call "wheel of carpet samples." ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: look at this beautiful wheel. so many carpet samples. my favorite game, everyone's favorite game. steve, who are tonight's lucky contestants? >> steve: well, jimmy, tonight's contestants on "wheel of carpet samples" are nicole ly, john wood and christina yen. come on down and sample some carpets. "whl of carpet samples" is a registered trademark of the jimmy fallon corporation. >> jimmy: come on down. welcome. welcome, welcome, welcome, you guys. how does it feel to be contestants on "wheel of carpet samples," which, as you know, was adapted from am the british game show, "revolving hoop of fabric wedges"? [ laughter ] >> amazing. i'm so excited. >> i'm pumped up. >> i'm gonna win. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: whoa, all right. all right, now, in case you don't know the rules, here's a quick refresher. on this wheel we have dozens of carpet samples. only the best varieties, of course.
we have midnight stallion, dusty seagull, sunset residue, infinite seahorse and tonight's mystery sample. [ eerie music ] ♪ steve, can you tell us what tonight's mystery sample is tonight? >> steve: tonight's mystery sample is gray. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: shh. we've also added something very special. it is called the $1 million tile right there. and if you land on it, you will win whatever is written underneath this tile. [ laughter ] it could be anything. could be a million dollars. could be a carpet sample. [ laughter ] hi, there, what's your name? where are you from? >> nicole. i'm from long island. >> jimmy: nicole from long island. now, all right, nicole, are you ready to do this? >> i'm ready. i'm ready to get it. >> jimmy: audience, you ready to help out nicole here? [ cheers and applause ] audience, help me out. let's spin that wheel of carpet samples! go!
[ drum roll ] there you go. that's a good spin right there. very good. it's going 'round and 'round. as the british would say, "look at these fabric wedges revolve." that's what they say. and right there, grandma's den. fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] grandma's den. oh, exciting. so, here you go. you've got grandma's den. so, that means your score is 6,473 9/12. [ sirens ] uh-oh. you know what that sound means? unreduced fraction alert. your score contains an unreduced fraction, which means it's time for the carpet sample poetry corner. >> carpet sample poetry corner. [ robotic voice ] >> "fear of fire," by l.m. newton. the flickering flames upon your hea they warm me in the night. but should i get too close to them my heart, they will ignite. >> jimmy: now, keep tt poem in mind. it might come in handy later.
now, just go to the end of the line there. thank you so much. how you doing, buddy? what's your name. where are you from? >> john wood. i'm from -- well, right now, i live here. i'm from boston. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] very good. sorry to throw you that curveball, there. [ laughter ] that's great. now, she's got 6,427 9/12 points, ich is the most you can possibly get in this game. do you think you can top it? >> i'll try. >> jimmy: yeah, that's the spirit right there. now, which sample do you have your eye on? >> i really like the mystery one. >> jimmy: fair enough. you're a mysterious dude. all right. [ laughter ] well, let's stand over here, my pal. and, audience, help me out. let's spin that wheel of carpet samples! again. [ cheers and applause ] [ drum roll ] here we go, buddy. go for it. here it goes. good spin. very good. look at that hoop spin. there it goes. oh. nope. oh, exciting. adobe. that's fantastic.
[ cheers and applause ] great. adobe. oh, my gosh. adobe. you know what that means. put three seconds on the clock. you know how it works. when i say go, you have to mold this two-inch brass fastener into the shape of an ostrich. all right. here you go. ready? and go. [ clock ticking ] >> let's see. [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: time out. sorry. e.laughter ]lo ik atrt he [ aughte.d d r r k it here. [ lauaughter and applause ] we were looking for this. [ laughter ] i >> aweso. [ slide whistle sounds ] ] >> jimmy: well, your score is 6 1/2. uh-oh. [ slide whistle sounds ] uh-oh, you know what that sound means. that's the fully reduced fraction whistle, which means it's time for a carpet sample recap. ♪ there are times you feel stuck on that same old ride ♪ ♪ like a boat without a captain swept up by the tide ♪ ♪ when you're knocked down it's tough to get up ♪
>> jimmy: ah, memories. [ laughter ] well, we've got a tight race. you are only 6,467 3/12 points behind. please step down. [ laughter ] how are you, pal? thanks for coming. what's your name? where are you from? >> i'm christina. i'm from long island but i live in boston now. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: you guys carpool? [ laughter ] okay. here you go. now, what's your strategy going into the spin here? >> i'm going to spin really hard. >> jimmy: you're going to spin really hard. [ laughter ] interesting. a lot of people don't usually do that here. [ laughter ] so, that's really good. all right. now, let's go over here and we'll help you out. everybody, help me out. it's time to spin that wheel of carpet samples! let's go. [ drum roll ] there you go. all right. spinning around. don't get rug burn. here it comes. [ cheers and applause ]
i'm kicking. i'm kicking. i'm kicking. [ laughter ] now, as always, you have the option to trade in your sample for a mystery prize. i encourage you to take that trade. [ laughter ] in fact, let's just see what this mystery prize will be. here we go. let's see what's behind it. a carpet sample. [ laughter ] [ fog horn ] oh. it's all right. it's okay. first, let's see what sample it is. ooh. mudslide surprise. [ laughter ] mudslide surprise. but, h, here we go. you can also trade this in for something else. this is exciting. i think you should do this. come out here. thank you. what'your name? >> monkus. >> jimmy: hey, monkus. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] here we go. now, deposit it in this box over here. we'll put it in here, and then we'll see what mystery prize you
won. it's exciting. [ laughter ] all righty. in it goes. and let's see what's in the mystery box. [ eerie music ] ♪ mudslide surprise! [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic. you took a risk, and the risk paid off. now, this is one of the closest matches in the long and storied history of "wheel of carpet samples." steve, who is tonight's winner? >> steve: hold on. jimmy, i just got off the phone with the ratings department. this is the highest-rated episode of "wheel of carpet samples" ever! [ cheers and applause ] okay. i'll call yoback. tonight's winner, contestant number two! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: steve, what did he win? >> steve: well, jimmy, he won his choice of any carpet sample. any carpet sample from the wheel of carpet samples. western cornhusk, vibrant aorta, crusty elk, yours for the picking. jimmy?
>> jimmy: wow, congratulations, john. which one are you going to choose? >> oh -- yeah, mystery. [ eerie music ] ♪ i was after that, and i'm glad it's come back to that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is all happening for a reason. [ laughter ] [ drum roll ] >> gr-r-r-r-r-r-r-ray! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'll give you that one back. fantastic. you got it. great. >> i know! >> jimmy: you didn't even know it was gray. >> exactly. >> jimmy: well, guys, unfortunately you guys lost. and you're losers. [ laughter ] it's terrible, but you won't be taking home any carpet samples. i apologize. yeah, so sorry. [ audience aws ] but here on "wheel of carpet samples," no one goes home empty-handed. steve, tell them about tonight's consolation prize. >> steve: tonight's consolation prize is a $300 gift certificate te store.
this $300 gift certificate is worth $300 and can be redeemed for $300 worth of merchandise at any apple store. jimmy? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sorry. so sorry. $300 to the apple store. thanks for playing. but you're the big winner. how do you feel, buddy? >> this will go great with my other gray carpet. >> jimmy: yeah, that's the attitude. that's what i'm talking about. well, thanks for playing. we're going to give you the gift certificate, too. come on. but, in my mind, you won the real prize, the carpet sample. that's all the time we have. we'll see you next time on "wheel of carpet samples"! we'll be right back with jeremy piven. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ i got troubles, oh ♪ but not today ♪ 'cause they're gonna wash away ♪ ♪ they're gonna wash away
♪ ♪ ♪ they're gonna wash away ♪ this old heart ♪ gonna take them away [ quacks ] garth, you're up. hold on, i'm at capitalone.com picking a photo... for my credit card. here's one from my prom. oh, what memories. how 'bout one from our golf outing? ( shouting ) i know, maybe one of my first-born son. dad, mom says the boys gotta go. personalize your card by uploading... your own photo at capitalone.com. what's in your wallet? ♪ hi. ( whimpers, inhales ) ( sobs ) - hello! ( shakes and exhales ) for big moments anywhere, keep a little strength in your pocket. ( ding ) altoids smalls. are you in mint condition?
"entourage." starting august 14th, you can see him in the new comedy "the goods: live hard, sell hard." give it up for jeremy piven, everybody. m♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> yes. i know what you're doing there, sir. very well played. >> jimmy: yeah? >> yes. >> jimmy: i didn't know that one. yeah, i was like -- i always guess on the repeats. big surprise, there. >> no, i think that was a little homage to something i did in a movie where i just started mixing up elvis costello and public enemy in the middle of a monologue. is that what you were doing? >>uestlove: yeah. >> oh, yes. i got it. yeah! [ applause ] >> jimmy: we're playing jeremy piven trivia all night. >> all night long. >> jimmy: it's a telethon. we got to raise a lot of money, you guys. >> and more importantly, it's
the cure for insomnia. it will put everyone to sleep. >> jimmy: stay awake, yeah. dude, i'm a big fan. and thanks so much for coming on the show. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: i've been a fan for a long time. i was saying backstage, i mean, "grosse pointe blank," "say anything," you steal these movies. you have, like, usually, a couple scenes -- just go in and just steal them. and -- "larry sanders." and now "entourage" is one up, and now "the goods." hilarious. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i saw the movie, so funny. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: that was -- i was just in chicago, and there were ads everywhere for piven theater company. and that's your -- is that your parents? >> yeah, my parents have a theater called the piven theater. and it's been around, god, forever. and i'm actually -- was lucky enough just to do a charity event for tm. and it was a flag football game with all professional football players. anmyself. [ light laughter ] yeah, it was interesting. >> jimmy: that makes sense. >> oh, yeah. it makes total sense. just strap on the cleats again, and -- >> jimmy: you're a football fan. >> i'm a football fan. i played high school football. and i know i'm still very
intimidatg. >> jimmy: you are. you're big. >> i'll take my shirt off right now, jimmy. >> jimmy: no, no. [ cheers ] some people like that. >> two guys that were clapping really loud. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: where did you grow up, now? >> i grew up in chicago. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: bears fan? >> absolutely. but no, i mean -- that's a passion. you got to, like, you got to love -- so you get to play with these idols. and -- who were you playing with? >> well, joe montana was our quarterback and, yeah, jerry rice was on the wide out. and we had deion sanders and barry sanders. and the first play of the game, i snapped it to joe montana. he told me to do a post, and he told jerry to go long. >> jimmy: this is exciting. you snapped it to joe montana. that's awesome. >> i was, without a doubt, living the dream. okay, and i thought, "he's going to go to jerry, he's going to go deep." you know what i mean? >> jimmy: of course, yeah. >> so i do a quick little post, and look over. and this is the first play of the game. it's on espn. it will air the same day my movie premieres, on august 14th. "the goods, live hard, sell hard." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: really funny movie.
we have to talk about that, too. >> yes, yes. and so i do a quick little post pattern. and there's joe montana. and he throws it to me, and it's -- it's the greatest moment of my life. i mean, i'm absolutely peaking. >> jimmy: yeah. you are weeping. >> well, i mean -- i've lived my whole moment -- my whole life for this moment, right? and the ball is coming to me, and everything is in slow motion. it's going to happen. and i'm already feeling myself going down the field. and it's all going to go down. and it's about to hit my hands. and out of nowhere, marshall faulk comes in and intercepts it and takes it to the house. and no one can catch him. and it's interesting because the whole day was like that. and it -- i caught a couple passes from joe. and it went well. we raised a lot of money for charity. but it was interesting to have all my hopes and dreams dashed completely. >> jimmy: crushed after the first -- you're never going to recover. that'll replay on "sportscenter." >> oh, yeah, on an endless loop. >> jimmy: you were intercepted by marshall faulk. >> but, you know what? he was a great nfl player, and i deserve that. and i think i bit off more than i can chew.
>> jimmy: that's on august 14th. now, that's when "the goods: live hard, sell hard" comes out. >> yes. >> jimmy: i got to say, it's a funny movie. if you want to see a good comedy. hard jokes. >> yeah. >> jimmy: great cast. >> yes. >> jimmy: craig robinson. >> ed helms from "the hangover." dr. ken, also from "the hangover," the asian gentleman who pped out of the trunk naked. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, he's great. i always -- well, he's going to be on tomorrow night. >> and he'll be on and -- i don't know if you know about ken. he's injured right now. i don't know if you know what happened. >> jimmy: no. >> he and i hosted "wwe raw" monday night. >> jimmy: i saw that. >> and, yeah. and we -- and we took on, you know, we took on the boys. and i -- i ended up climbing the top rope and jumping off as high as i could and landing on john cena. if you don't know who john cena is, he looks like -- if you mated mark wahlberg and a silverback ape. he is like nothing you've ever seen. >> jimmy: people are trying to do that. scientists are in laboratories -- >> as well they should. >> jimmy: yeah, i think it's
great. >> it's successful. >> jimmy: yes. >> yeah, it's very successful. >> jimmy: i have a picture. this is insane. you jumped -- this is -- look at this. >> this is real. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: look at that. >> okay. let me explain a couple of things to you. first of all, that's -- okay, this is the top rope. i'm scared of heights. i'm climbing this rope. and as i'm climbing, i'm thinking, "i'm so scared of heights. how do i balance? will cena kill me?" and at that moment, i look over and i see a sign. the guy says, "ari gold is god." and i was like, "yes. yes, indeed, we're on." and then the next guy goes, "ari gold sucks." and, you know, it happens. it's the yin and yang of the universe. >> jimmy: absolutely. >> and i climbed up, and we crushed him. and then he took dr. ken, who's about a biscuit over 130 pounds wet, and he raises him over his head, and he throws him. but he put too much torque on it, okay? i'm telling you right now, it was too much torque, and there were a lot of the wrestlers that were waiting to catch him. but ken kind of flew over and smashed his head on to the cement. but he's supposedly going to be here tomorrow night.
>> jimmy: that's what we hear, but he might -- hopefully he doesn't call in sick now. i didn't know about this at all. >> jimmy: yeah. but he's unbelievably hilarious in the movie. neal brennan directed it. >> he co-created the dave chappelle show, a little comedy show on comedy central. >> jimmy: a little show you might have heard about, yeah. he's awesome. [ applause ] it's such a funny thing. ed helms, in the movie, was the guy who was in "the hangover" with the tooth came out, and he's great. >> yes. >> jimmy: he plays your nemesis in the movie, and he's in a -- he's in a boy band. >> he's in a boy band, but he calls it a "man band" because anyone over 30 who's in a boy band is in a man band. he walks in the room and introduc himself. we -- i'm the leader of this group of used car salesmen that has been hired to sell 300 cars over the july 4th weekend. and we meet the guy that has hired us, and then ed helms makes an entrance, and i think this is the clip. correct? >> jimmy: yeah, let's look at it. >> let's take a look. >> jimmy: here's "the goods." >> you know, paxton here in is in one of those popular bands in temecula, balls out. >> no, big ups. >> big ups, sorry. >> either way. >> big ups is the name of the band. it's me and ricky and jason. and we -- you know, we sing about life and love and passion. and i'm not going to lie to you.
we have some pretty sick dance moves. >> are you in a boy band? >> no, i'm in a man band. we're all over 30. we call it a man band. >> you're men in a boy band. >> we open for o-town right here in temecula, okay? google it. >> no. >> google it. >> no. >> why wouldn't you google it? i just told you to google it. google "big ups." >> i googled it. it said you [ bleep ] blow. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: it's good. the whole movie's got good laughs like that. it's really good. i got a thing i wanted to ask you about. i heard that -- i heard that you're a drummer. >> i'm a fan of drumming. >> jimmy: now, you're a fan of drumming. you do play the drums. >> i do play a little bit. i mean, not do like our man here who is a genius. >> jimmy: well, i'd like to give you a thing if you don't mind. he is, he's a genius. >> he's the marlon brando of drummers. >> jimmy: there you go. [ cheers and applause ] i'd like to, if you don't mind, maybe have a little drum-off here when we come back, with you and questlove. are you up for it? [ cheers and applause ]
it will be kind of fun. just do it. answer, don't answer. when we come back, jeremy piven might drum with questlove. who knows? [ cheers and applau ] ♪ i d a pretty goodob, buitasn't what i wanted to do, and i thought, i don't want to do this for the rest of my life i probably don't want to do it tomorrow. i told my dad, "i want to start a brewery." i told him, "i think you're crazy." i started sam adams with boston lager to make rich, flavorful beer. and he went and sold it one bottle at a time. no one had tried an american beer that had that kind of flavor. boston lager really was a groundswell. there's that saying, "do something you love "and you'll never work "a day in your life." i don't feel like i've worked for 24 years. you can use it while you do just about anything. it molds better... it grips better... and seals better. you can even drink water with it on. crest whitestrips advanced seal.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: here we are, everybody. we're here. welcome back. welcome back. we're here with three-time emmy award-winner jeremy piven. and we're going to see if he has what it takes to sit in with the roots. now, we're going to go do an old school drum-off. a little call and respond. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: you ready, jeremy? you ready, questlove? let's do, like, an easy drum solo first? >> questlove: i'll play a groove. >> jimmy: okay, you'll play a groove. and then we just go -- >> okay, yeah. >> questlove: going to do the running man? >> jimmy: going to do the running man? >> questlove: no, no, man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's so weird. for a second, i almost did it. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: all right! dude, you did it. that was awesome. what do you think? quest, did he do it? did he make the cut? >> questlove: he's the fifth beatle. >> jimmy: you're the fifth beatle. oh, my god. this is rare. i don't even have one of these. the legendary roots crew! this is for you. jeremy piven. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: you were great, man! "entourage" is on sundays at 10:30 on hbo, and "the goods: live hard, sell hard" opens friday, august 14th. jeremy piven, everybody! charlyne yi joins us next. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, good job, jeremy. sounds good, buddy. our next guest is a funny and talented performer who had a breakout roll in the film "knocked up." and her new movie, "paper heart," opens in select theatres tomorrow. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome charlyne yi.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, pal. nice to meet you and be able to talk to you. thanks for coming on the show. i appreciate it. >> thanks for having me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a lot of buzz about your new movie. congratulations on that. i loved it. it was really cool. >> oh, thanks. >> jimmy: it was really interesting. i liked it. i first saw you online -- i think -- no, actually, it was after "knocked up," right? you played this stoner girl in -- >> yeah, i did. >> jimmy: yeah, and then -- [ laughter ] >> i don't know what i'm doing. >> jimmy: we're just talking. >> oh, of course. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, we're just talking. we don't have to do anything else. can you play the drums? >> dyou want me to? >> jimmy: no, no, no, no, i was just -- then i saw you on youtube. you auditioned for "saturday night live." >> oh, yeah, i was -- i was editing a film. and i perform a lot, but i usually perform, like, six times a week. bui hadn't performed in, like, a month. so, i was going insane.
and all my friends were ditioning for "snl." and i thought it would be funny to do a really poor "snl" audition on the internet. a really bad impression. >> jimmy: and what was the impression you did again? >> i did brad garrett and -- >> jimmy: you did brad garrett from "everybody loves raymond." >> and jon lovitz. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sorry. i'm sorry. can i just see -- can you -- do you mind doing it? >> okay. [ poorly imitating brad garrett ] "raymond, raymond, raymond. 'everybody loves raymond,' will be right back after this commercial break. oh, hey, raymond, how is it going?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's fantastic. that is fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] what was the other one? >> oh, you know, you sort of do impressions, and you also do your original character. and i did -- i did my regular character kind of. i want to do it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, pal. okay. this is an original character. okay. [ laughter ] okay -- that's -- i -- that's
good. it's a pretty good original character. pretty good. looks like mr. peepers. fantastic. thank you. and you didn't get the job? >> no. i don't know. i got a lot of negative commts for some reason. >> jimmy: that's ridiculous. [ laughter ] that is ridiculous. >> yeah, like, i don't know. the internet doesn't like me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i think they do. you're really charming in this movie "paper heart." it's basically about you -- i can take your bitten apple if you want. [ laughter ] >> it's okay. i'll keep it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. but in the movie, it's about you finding out what love is. and then you go around and kind of interview people. it's kind of a documentary but also kind of a movie mixed in. >> i think you got it. >> jimmy: is there a name for it? >> it's, i guess, a hybrid documentary? maybe? >> jimmy: yeah, that's cool. i'll take that. that's a good one, yeah. >> okay. >> jimmy: i'll coin that phrase. but it was great. are you good with interviewing people? >> i don't think so. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i thought you were.
really? >> no, i don't think -- i don't know if i got any better. i think i just got weird evy time. [ laughter ] and then, you know, and then they got weird, and it was just a weird interview process. >> jimmy: well, you just talk to people -- you have to do it for, like, a long time and then edit down. >> yeah, well, it was, like, two hours of talking, which is a long time, you know. after, like, the first 30 minutes, you kind of get the premise of what you need. and then everything else is just extra. and at a certain time, i'll just forget what to say or not know what to say. >> jimmy: you were good with those little girls, though. >> oh, thanks. >> jimmy: yeah, that was good. i heard that you almost got in a fight with one of them. >> yeah, i -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how does this happen? they were little girls. >> that's what you think. one them was, like, only three inches shorter than me. [ laughter ] and they thought i was a kid. so, i go up to them and the director is like, "go play with them." so i just go up to them and i go, "tag, you're it." and we're all playing because, you know, that's what you do with kids. you can't, like, do that to an adult. you can, but -- you know. >> jimmy: weird, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> and a 12-year-old girl goes up to me, and she pushes me, and in my head i'm like, "should i push her back?"
[ laughter ] you know, i'm probably ronger than her, maybe. i could push her. i was like, "i don't want to go to jail." [ laughter ] i told her, i go, "hey, little girl, i'm a lot older than you think i am." [ laughter ] "you know, your mom is probably out here somewhere. you better chill out, okay? all right?" and she's like, "okay." i'm like, "okay, good. good." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're like, "whew, i pulled that one off." well, this movie is called "paper heart." i want to show a clip of this movie. let's take a look. "paper heart." >> do you want to get married? >> no. >> why not? >> because. >> it's gross? >> yes. >> you want to get married? [ laughter ] >> to me? [ laughter ] >> why don't you guys ask her about her boyfriend, mike? [ yelling ] >> what's the perfect date? >> you need to take somebody to applebee's and get them hot wings. [ laughter ] >> before that, you'll watch the sunset on the beach, and the
restaurant that you will go to is a french riviera restaurant that only sells seafood. that's a good date. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that kid is awesome. i love that kid. charlyne yi, everybody. "paper heart" is in theaters tomorrow. melanie fiona is next. thanks so much. come back. you're so much fun. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ take me home ♪ take me home ♪ to my family ♪ ♪ i need to be surrounded by ♪ the ones who care for me [ female announcer ] clean you can see. softness you can feel. tide with a touch of downy. ♪ take me home
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody. welcome back. our next guest is an up-and-coming vocalist who will release her debut album called "the bridge" on september 22nd. [ laughter ] here to perform the song "give it to me right," with a little help from the roots, please welcome melanie fiona.
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ okay, okay he's got my number and you can't you can't ♪ ♪ warn me baby here i am either yomake the time ♪ ♪ or just forget me ♪ i'm not, i'm not trying to run your life that's why, that's why i'm nobody's wife ♪ ♪ but when i want when i want it you gotta be ready ♪ ♪ i don't want it all the time but when i get it i better be satisfied ♪ ♪ sgive it to me right or don't give it to me at all ♪
♪ i don't think you understand how real it is for me to find a man ♪ ♪ who thinks he can ♪ so give it to me right or don't give it to me at all ♪ ♪ on time, on time i expect you to be oh, my, oh, my baby in my fantasy ♪ ♪ if you can't get it right then just forget it no way's okay ♪ ♪ for you to go around uh-uh, today you better make a touchdown ♪ ♪ you know what i like won't you accept it ♪ ♪ i don't want it all the time but when i want it you better make me smile ♪
♪ so give it to me right or don't give it to me at all ♪ ♪ i don't think you understand if you can't please me i know someone who can ♪ ♪ give it to me right or don't give it to me at all ♪ ♪ ladies, this is this is the real life, baby this is the life that makes me say yeah ♪ ♪ yeah this is the real thing, baby ♪ ♪ when i'm alone i can make me say yeah yeah ♪ ♪ give it to me right or don't give it to me at all ♪
♪ give it to me right or don't give it to me at all ♪ ♪ give it to me right or don't give it to me at all ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you so much. >> thank you. >> jimmy: a little zombies in there. i liked it, very good. melanie fiona, everybody. check out her debut album "the bridge," in stores september 22nd. my tnks to jeremy piven. there he is. i love it. charlyne yi, melanie fiona and the greatest band in late night, the roots, everybody. stay tuned for "carson daly." thanks for watching. have a good night. hope to see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪