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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  October 21, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT

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captioning sponsored by cbs ( whistling ) >> stephen: aah! there! cote spoons. now to celebrate. with a bowl of ice cream. ( laughter ) damn it! quick. i know where there's a spoon. ( laughter )
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>> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes matt leblanc. eleanor holmes norton. and joy bryant. and musical guest wyclef jean. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! thanks, joseph. thank you very much. thank you, louis. hey, chris! action! action! hey! ( cheers and applause ) good to see you!
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>> stephen: thanks, everybody! thank you, jon. welcome to the "late show." i'm stephen colbert. happy friday to all of you in here and out there. are you ready for the weekend? ( cheers and applause ) you really are. these people are soaked with gasoline. thank you for being here. we are all still reading the tea leaves of this week's presidential debate. ( laughter ) and i hope those are tea leaves in there. i've been drinking it. and a lot of people have begun to wonder what trump will do in the likely scenario that he will lose the election, and the unlikely scenario that he admits it. ( laughter ) respects this-- this has just
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that donald trump is, thinking about starting a donald trump tv network. until now, the only place you could see 24 hours of donald trump was cnn. and the trump rumors might be true, because on wednesday night, the trump campaign live-streamed their own debate coverage under the heading #trumptv. this is exciting, a brand new trump business venture! although, this was 48 hours ago, so it might have gone bankrupt already. ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( cheers ) because he's a loser. a loser. ( laughter ) i'm excited. i'm excited. i can't wait until he introduces other programming,
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"bad hombres," or rudy giuliani and chris christie's new half-hour buddy sitcom, "bridge and tunnel." ( cheers and applause ) yeah, yeah. they always have to use the tunnel for some reason. and don't forget the new children's show hosted by eric and donald jr., "daniel, the tiger i shot this weekend." it got canceled. they only had one episode. of course, all the scandals swirling around donald trump have distracted us from all the scandals swirling around hillary clinton. police in georgia now say that hillary's campaign bus illegally dumped human waste into a storm drain. that's right. we've gone from wikileaks to icky-leaks. ( laughter ) jimmy, to we have-- did we get the footage of the human-- i think we did. the footage of the
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bus? >> hello. how are you? hi. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: i think we did. that's it, right? is that it? i think that's it. i don't know. i don't know. i don't know. that might have been the wrong footage. i'm not entirely sure. that is not the clinton campaign's only disturbing dump. there's also damaging emails being dumped by wikileaks, like this one written by campaign chairman john podesta: subject line: girls night. i'm going to bail." yes,s can wick has revealed that john podesta has bailed on girls night. he is such a charlotte. and there's another email bombshell releesed bee wiki,
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were originally 85 ideas for clinton campaign slogans, including, "a stronger america for a new day," "a better bargain for a better tomorrow," "unleash opportunity," and "next begins with you." all created by throwing an "inspirational magnetic poetry kit" into a ceiling fan. ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( cheers ) what this reveals, ultimately, is that these carefully crafted compressions of hillary's core beliefs. they're just a bunch of words tossed in a salad spinner. "a newer america for a stronger day," "a better opportunity for a bargain tomorrow," "a newer beginning for a better strong!" by the way, my favorite brainstormed clinton campaign slogan revealed is probably this one-- "no quit." that, of course, that's a submission, of course, from
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communications otsi the iceman. "no quit. fire bad." ( applause ) you know, things get released. people find things out. it's a crazy campaign. we live in a crazy world, you know. you just feel like nobody's in control, nobody's helping each other. but every once in a while, there comes a time when we need a hero to be a defender for the defenseless. well, that t no. now, it's time for another edition of "the late show hall of heroes." ? ? ? ( cheers and applause ) tonight's hero: michael orchard, man from upstate new york who saw a problem that no one else could and leapt into action. >> troopers say the neighbor thought the house was on fire, and he was trying to save the
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well, he saved the family's dog, but there actually wasn't a fire. troopers say orchard told them he mixed l.s.d. with cough medicine thursday afternoon, and they found him, standing heroically, with a dog in his arms outside of what he thought was a giant inferno. >> he believed that the residence was on fire, and he was rescuing the dog. >> stephen: yes. he mixed cough syrup with l.s.d.? that is brave. he could've ended up in the hospital, or at least the rock and roll hall of fame. just listen to this man's courage in the face of mortal nothing. >> the animal lover took matters into his own hands to save the dog, allegedly driving his bmw 3 series through the fence. troopers say once orchard got through this fence with his vehicle, he got out, went up to the back door, smashed through it, and then went inside to save the family's dog.
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now, that may seem like a lot of unnecessary destruction, but remember, his cough is gone now. ( laughter ) ( applause ) so there's a happy ending. now this is-- i got a little tickle. i got a little tickle. and although michael orchard was charged with burglary and criminal mischief, he was not charged with his most obvious crime. >> we asked trooper mark cepiel why there were no drug charges if orchard was allegedly high. through the fence, and at no point was he on the roadway. ( laughter ) >> stephen: so, remember, if you're doing drugs, please don't drive... on the road. yards and fences are totally cool. ( cheers and applause )
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the door to an exciting new super-hero franchise. half man on l.s.d., half man on corn syrup. he's self-destructive maaaan! when danger strikes-- but mostly when it doesn't-- he'll be there. as long as he's not thwarted by his arch-nemesis, dr. rehab. ( laughter ) "you have a serious problem, captain, that's distancing you from everyone you know and love. but not for long! we all care about you very much! let's hug." call me, marvel. now, what else? you know what, i'm feeling pretty old tonight. no, it's all right, it's cool. here's why. luke perry is featured on the cover of "a.a.r.p." magazine. ( laughter ) ( applause ) now, for the millennials out
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( laughter ) actually, let me start by defining "luke perry." ( laughter ) let me start by defining, "magazine." you know what, let's just move on. it seems like only yesterday i was watching "90210" while shopping for flannel shirts on my way to a ross perot rally drinking a zima while legally purchasing entire albums of music. i gotta say, the internet was not happy about the the reminder of their tweeting: "i saw a photo of luke perry on the cover of 'a.a.r.p.' and now want to die." don't worry. if you're old enough to be a luke perry fan, you won't have to wait long. luke perry turning 50 is a big deal for my generation, so i don't want to let this pass without comment. to talk to us about this, please welcome luke perry's equally dreamy "90210" co-star, jason priestly, ladies and gentlemen.
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>> stephen: come on right down here, jason. there you go. jason, thanks so much for being here. >> what's up, stephen? sorry, girls, i'm still taken! >> stephen: jason, i gotta say, you absolutely look fantastic. >> thank you! i owe it all to green smoothies. and mall walking. >> stephen: okay. jason, what are you up to these days? peach pit with the popular crowd, and there's still plenty of drama. yes, sir. yesterday, jenny gather, brian austin greenwas stealing her bran flakes. you don't want to get in the middle of that slapfight. >> stephen: i have to say, seeing these figures from my youth getting older, it affects me, jason. >> don't let it get to you, stephen. youth is fleeting.
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( laughter ) >> stephen: you really know how to cheer up a guy, jace. >> you're welcome. well, look, i better ski daddle. we're celebrating tori spelling's new hip replacement by getting crunked on ensure! adios, old buddy. >> stephen: jason priestly, everyone! thank you, jason. we have a great show for you tonight. matt leblanc is here, and i'm taking the "late show" into times square to interview you, the people. so stick around. ? ? ? i had that dream again -- that i was on the icelandic game show.
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ing. but nobody knows the box behind the discounts. oh, it's like my father always told me -- "put that down. that's expensive." of course i save people an average of nearly $600, but who's gonna save me? [ voice breaking ] and that's when i realized... i'm allergic to wasabi. well, i feel better. it's been five minutes. talk about progress. [ chuckles ] okay. king me. (rico thinking): this must be how odell beckham feels
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? ? ? ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. give it up for jon batiste and stay human, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) happy friday, jon. >> jon: ha have any plans for this weekend? >> jon: well, you know, i'm going to go to new orleans. >> stephen: oh, you're going to go back to the mother. >> jon: i gotta get home, you know, man. i gotta get home every now and then. >> stephen: you have to get your feet back in that mud. >> jon: yes, indeed is there i do the same thing, go back to south carolina. >> jon: what kind of food do you like to eat when you get down there? >> stephen: the kind they have. >> jon: what kind do they have? >> >> stephen: a lot of shrimp, a
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>> jon: i was going to say, i'm about to get a schim popositive boy. >> stephen: that's nice. it's going to be a great weekend, obviously. but i can't wait for the weekend to be over, already, because our guest on monday year, very excited, mr. tom hanks. >> jon: "forrest gump" one of my favorites. >> stephen: always fun. it's been such a beautiful fall here in new york city-- sunny, that our climate is now the same as india's. ( laughter ) and when it's this nice, it's really hard to stay inside. so to take advantage of the weather-- is this true-- i took a desk to the sidewalk in front
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talked to the first people who would talk to me. this is the first installment of the "late show" talkin to the people." ? ? ? thank you, jon. welcome to "the late show" street show," daytime edition. i'm stephen colbert here on the streets of new york, right in front front of the ed sullivan theater, in front of the lovely shop-- gifts, luggage, it appears to be called. that can't be it's got to be a better name than that. my next guest tonight is a native of astoria queens. she's in the city trying on a wedding dress here in manhattan today. you might know her if your name is eva, because that's her mom, or michael, because that's her fiance. please but your hands together for jessica garivuso. >> hi! >> stephen: nice to meet you. >> nice to meet you.
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>> stephen: did i say that correctly? i'm never quite sure. >> you said it right. >> stephen: what are you in the city working on? >> i'm in the city working on getting marry gld that's fantastic. congratulations, congratulations. ( applause ) that's amazing, who is the lucky guy? >> his name is michael. >> stephen: tell us the first date, how you guys actually met. >> we had a date in the park. >> stephen: you said, "we're going to meet in the park?" why the park because i don't with someone i never met before? >> i guess so. it was april. >> how long have you been bate dating? >> almost three years. >> stephen: what took so long. >> right. he took us pack there for our to-year anniversary, and we had a discussion about our first date, and he had a nice segue into it -- >> what just happened? what just happened? sorry, i apologize >> he got on his knee and proposed and i was --
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it at all? >> i couldn't speak for about 45 minutes i was crying so hard. i couldn't even see my ring because i was crying so hard. >> stephen: let's see the ring. i think we have a clip of the ring. let's see. that's beautiful. that's gorgeous. tell me about the dress. >> uh, so, yeah, lace. it has little shoulder -- >> low-cut? it is low-cut. >> stephen: racy? >> not racy. >> stephen: racy's not bad. racy's not bad. >> stephen: people are there. they want a little entertainment. >> it does have, like, a panel. it goes down and comes out. i'm anything to leave it in for the ceremony and take out for the reception. >> stephen: you're going to take panel out for the reception? >> uh-huh. >> stephen: when the panel comes out what happens? you see straight to christmas? >> no, it's just a little thing right here. it's very classy. >> stephen: i bet it is. we often ask people if they've got a clip that they want to show on show. >> >> okay. >> stephen: do you have your cell phone with you?
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at the last video you shot on your cell phone. >> oh, no. >> stephen: what's happening here? >> michael filmed my neck when i was sleeping because my pulse was so strong he thought something was wrong with me. >> stephen: so your boyfriend, you're saying, stares at you while you're sleeping, specifically your neck. ( laughter ) how do you feel about your boyfriend just staring at your neck while you sleep? does this give you any pause about saying "i godo" in three weeks? >> it's caring! >> stephen: why didn't he wake you up? just took a film of it. just took a film of it with your phone. the word "annulment" comes to mind. are you sure you want to do this? that's the shot where wife fiend it on the husband's phone and goes, "michael, what have you been doing?" "nothing, give that to me, i said my phone was secret. then it's just a chase scene across the desert." michael, are you a lot to answer
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for n.y.c. food trucks. >> great! thanks! >> stephen: right there. it's at the nathan's. >> wonderful. >> stephen: the nathan's truck right over there. >> thank you. >> stephen: thank you so much. >> thank you so much. >> stephen: so lovely to talk to you. good luck >> stephen: jessica garivuso, everybody! congratulations, jessica. we'll be right back with matt leblanc. ? ? ? ( applause ) what is that? man, i don't know. ask google! ? ?
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? ? ? ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hello, ladies and gentlemen! folks, welcome back.
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"episodes," "top gear" and, of course, "friends." and now, he's a "man with a plan." >> headphones off. everybody line up. >> what? >> line up, one, two-- i can't believe i have to explain a line to you. why did you just dump all your stuff everywhere? >> we always do. >> well, who cleans it up. >> mommy. >> and she's not upset about that? >> i don't know. >> okay, well, from now on, you're going to hang your backpacks up and you're going to clean up the truck before you get out, and close the door. that's right. ( laughter ) any questions? ( laughter ) >> stephen: please welcome matt leblanc. ? ? ? ( applause ) come on up. >> this is nice.
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>> stephen: please, have a seat. good to see you. thanks for making some time for us on ad from. >> absolutely, happy friday. >> stephen: i'm surprised you have any time at all. you just finished the last season of "episodes," right? >> yeah, we finished that in-- the end of june. >> stephen: okay, and you're all one of the hosts of "top gear." >> yeah, i'm on my way back to the isle of >> stephen: and now you've got the new cbs series "man with a plan." >> that's the day job. >> stephen: that's the day job. the prime-time tv show is the day job for you. >> well i said, you know, i think i want to work more. and i kind of overshot it a little bit. ( laughter ) but it's all really fun. >> stephen: you played an episode-- you won the golden globe for your performance of a guy name matt leblanc on "episodes." >> it was tricky. >> stephen: i know the feeling
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stephen colbert-- >> you won a lot of awards. >> stephen: we did, we won a few. never a golden globe. anyway... ( laughter ). >> just keep plugging away. >> it's pretty great. it's awesome. >> stephen: is it hollow? you can hide stuff in it? >> it's solid marble. you can work without it. >> stephen: and that's the awards ceremony where you get to drink, right? >> you can get hammered at that one. >> stephen: wow. at the emmys they close the bar down. >> i know. >> stephen: isn't that crazy. and you never won an emmy? of times-- a lot of times. too many times s. >> stephen: that's the thing with the emmys, if you don't win you want to leave immediately and go to the bar, and they've closed the damn bar. ( laughter ). >> yeah, they say, "no drinking for you, loser. you've goot to wait." ( laughter ). >> stephen: do people-- people sort of mistook me for my character for many years. people mistake you for the matt leblanc from "episodes"? >> sometimes. mostly joey people mistake me
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>> stephen: really? still. >> look. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: still? how long ago-- you've had a very successful career since "friends." when it did go off the year. >> i think '94 to '04. >> stephen: so 12 years later-- you must be famous worldwide right? >> yeah... i guess. "friends "is like, if they have electricity, they're watching friends it seems like. it's true. >> stephen: has there been a most surprising moment in your life when you that someone knew you? >> actually, yeah, we were shooting "top gear." we were in morocco, in the atlas mountains a remote part of morocco. >> stephen: that is rough country. >> i'm not kidding, people live in actual caves and you see an extension cord going into the cave up and hear "i'll be there "coming out of this cave. and i'm like what's going on? we're on the side of the road
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one guy goes, "how you doing?" and i couldn't tell if he was asking me how i was doing or quoting the thing from the show. and i was like, "i'm good." and he's going... ( laughter ) >> stephen: joey! >> yeah, joey, funny joey! so, yeah, it's-- you know, it's been a great tring to have been a part of. >> stephen: all you people, did you-- you "friends" friends-- >> "all you were you "friends" friends really friends? >> we were friendly. >> stephen: in "the fellowship of the ring" they had a fellowship. they got tattoos. did you get a tattoo you all shared or anything like that. >> no, no, no. >> stephen: really? it was the 90s. >> yeah, it was pretty free too toos. we didn't get any of those that's when they were for bad criminals. now it's cool. get one on your head.
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gear 2" and i understand you're something of-- i know this is a hackneyed phrase-- you're an adrenaline junky. is that true? you like doing dangerous things for fun? >> yeah. don't you. >> stephen: no, no, i don't. >> it's fun. >> stephen: actually, sometimes i'm forced to do it because my wife think it would be a fun thing for me to do with my children. but she never actually goes and does it because she doesn't like danger, either. ( laughter ). >> i don't know. i like doing crazy stuff. >> stephen: like what? >> i remember one time i took-- i think it was the second season i took all of the writers-- you know the writers what a show looks like. it's like 14 of the nerdiest people-- no offense to the writers out there. >> stephen: i'm sure no offense taken! ( laughter ). >> they're just happy we're talking about them. but, like, 14 of the nerdiest guys ever, and one girl, alexia, and i took them all sky diving. and we went through the course, and me and all these writers got
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all company jumped out of the plane. and it was so funny because at the end of it to see the way they walked. they all survived-- nobody died, nobody died, they were okay. but the walk they had was this john wine kind of "i'm a writer now" crossed the threshold. >> stephen: how did your executive producers feel about that because anything goes wrong, there's no more "friends." >> they said, "don't do it again." "friends" there were some great joey joke. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: smart. always be thinking. >> you know what i mean? >> stephen: that's really nice now you have the the new show "the man with a plan," the dad taking care of the kids because the wife goes back to work. >> that's right. >> stephen: you're a father yourself. do you bring any of the things you learn from the script home or do you bring your life into the script? >> well, i bring some of my life
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careful because "episodes" was on showtime where you could use foul language. >> stephen: i know. >> and "man with a plan" is on cbs where you have to use nice language. >> stephen: that's right. you better watch your ( bleep ) mouth over here. ( cheers and applause ) >> that's right. yeah. >> stephen: yes. ? ? ? humorless, they're humorless about it. >> that's right. they will ( bleep ) kick your ass. >> stephen: they sure will. so-- >> i have to be careful. i can't use much of my parenting skills on the show. >> stephen: you're willing to bring out blut bombs when your-- >> the swear jar is very large at my house. >> stephen: really, really? >> no, i'm kid displg how old is your child? >> i have three. i have a 25, a 22, and a 12. >> stephen: okay, do you-- how about the dangerous behavior with the kids? do you encourage them to do, like, bungee jump and jump out of planes? >> they're all mental cases, just like their dad. >> stephen: really? >> yeah. >> stephen: i took my boys
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let alone do it. i was too terrified to watch them to it. >> really? >> stephen: yeah. doesn't it scare you seeing your child jump out of an airplane. >> not jumping out of an airplane. those were writer s. >> stephen: they're expendable. >> yeah, the kids are valuable. >> stephen: thanks so much for being here. it was lovely it meet you. >> stephen: "man with a plan" premieres monday, right here on cbs. matt leblanc, everybody! we'll be right back with norton and joy bryant. care if you turn out toldt to be a great athlete or whatever but, you need to make sure you get your college degree. sometimes i call the house, just to hear her voice. (phone ringing) answering machine: hi, leave a message after the beep. (beep) hey mom, this is larry. i just want to let you know that uh, i fulfilled the promise that you held me to. love you.
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amendment 1 guarantees your right to generate your own solar energy. it also guarantees that those who don't choose solar don't have to subsidize those who do. amendment 1 means commonsense consumer protections safeguarding
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that's the right way to do solar. amendment 1: good for the economy. ? ? ? ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back,
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one of my next two guests is a model, writer, and actress who plays eleanor holmes norton in the new show "good girls revolt." and my other guest plays her in real life. please welcome joy bryant and congresswoman eleanor holmes norton. ? ? ? ( applause ) good to see you, eleanor. come on up. there you go. >> stephen: eleanor, good to see you again, congresswoman. joy, lovely to meet you for the first time. >> nice to meet you, too. >> stephen: this project you two have worked on is fascinating to me. it takes place in 1970 and was
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lawsuit that you spearheaded, eleanor. tell us what the suit was about. >> well, the suit was about women at "newsweek" magazine. they were all researchers. now, these were the creme da la creme,ify beta cappas, fulbright scholars. comparable men came in as reporters, but the women, to the last woman, was a researcher. they got up their gumption to come see me to s we got a lawsuit here?" >> right. >> slam dunk. girls. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: joy, you're playing eleanor. >> i am! >> stephen: and not everybody who gets to portray someone who they admire actually get to meet them or spend time with them. is there added pressure or is that a gift?
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alive. and to play someone-- >> kicking. >> stephen: yes. >> such as this incredible, brilliant woman, i was so nervous. and, you know, it's a tremendous responsibility. so i came prepared. i had an hour, took a train from new york, went down to d.c. to meet her at her office. i had all my notes prepared. i was so nervous. i just wanted her to like me. and as soon as she opened the door she was like and i was like "ah-ah." and we hugged and it was love at fers sight. >> stephen: eleanor, this is you, this is you around 1970 when this takes place. that's a very good look. i don't know why you ever stopped it. i really like that look. and, joy, here you are portraying eleanor right there. ( cheers and applause ) >> yes, my fare, o in the show is pretty serious. >> stephen: it's very nice.
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>> stephen: tell me about the the women's consciousness raising. what was this? we have a little clip here we'll show in just one second where the women in the suit and you would get together to raise consciousness every week. how did you raise their consciousness? >> you know, this was the consciousness-raising period of the women's movement. but it's one thing to sit around and talk to yourselves about how, why aren't we equal? it's another thing on say, "i'm gonna sue one of journalistic enterprises in the world." and, therefore, you need to raise your consciousness about why you're unequal, but then you need on get your gut together because then you're going to sue these people and you want to make sure they don't sue you back or hit you back or fire you or whatever. and, therefore, before i filed a suit, we met numerous times. i had to make sure they knew you
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that's an additional offense. >> stephen: joy, did you have your consciousness raised just by playing this part? >> oh, yeah, it's up that way. my consciousness is so high right now. >> stephen: it's 46 years later. what's in common for women in the workplace now you think, 46 years later, even after the fights that have gone on to get women equal pay and equal rights in the workplace. what do you think is in common? >> we've, obviously, come so far. but when we have-- we're still havihe though, about the pay-- wage gaps and we are having conversations about fighting for reproductive rights, across the board in terms of women's right for equality. so it's very-- the show is very timely to now. and i think a lot of women, especially young women who may not know this story, will see that we're standing on the shoulders of these giants here. and if wasn't for them, we would not have. ( cheers and applause ) what we have.
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jeopardy. so... >> stephen: well, we have a clip right here. i believe this is of one of the consciousness-raising episodes. jim. >> but one of the most important ways that a boss can show you what you're worth is by how much he pays you. and, ladies, you are a bargain. what do you think the men you're working with get paid? >> that isn't a fair comparison. >> they do have different jobs. >> right. jobs you're not allowed to i'd like a list of the men's salaries for the next meeting. i think it's time that you see that, too. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: well, joy, it was lovely it meet you. eleanor, always a joy. nice to see you. "good girls revolt" begins streaming next friday on amazon. joy bryant and congresswoman eleanor holmes norton, everybody.
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? ? ?
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i moved on her like a [bleep]. you can do anything. grab them by the [bleep]
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marco rubio stands by trump and failed to show up for florida. here's what i believe in. bringing people together and reaching across the aisle to get things done. protecting social security. and building an economy that works for all of us. i'm patrick murphy and i approved this message
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? ? ooh, why the phelps face? old computer slowing you down? is it a real drag? you know... i know. new computers are super-fast. ith a new world record for the slowest computer. you know about it, now do something about it. upgrade to a new pc. powered by intel. ? ? what is he doing? i have no clue. [ "on the road again," by willie nelson ] ? on the road again ? [ rear alert sounds ] [ music stops ] ? just can't wait to get on the road again ? [ front assist sounds ] [ music stops ] [ girl laughs ]
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the highway ? [ beetle horn honks ] no matter which passat you choose, you get more standard features, for less than you expected. hurry in and lease the 2017 passat s for just $199 a month. ah, beth. so the elevator is stuck again. with directv and at&t you can stream your favorite shows without using your data. that makes you more powerful than being stuck in an elevator with a guy with overactive sweat glands. sorry, rode my bike today. cool. it's your tv, take it with you.
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? ? ? ? when powerful people need someone to do their dirty work, they hire bob buesing. how far will he go? assisted-living retirement homes, threatening local seniors with homelessness. then, buesing defended wells fargo against charges of helping a ponzi-schemer swindle millions. buesing's firm was even accused of overbilling local schools ,
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>> stephen: here performing his new single "if i was president," please welcome back wyclef jean, with jon batiste and stay human! ( cheers and applause ) >> colbert, i ran for president. it's the truth, man, i wanted to be president. haiti, i wanted to change policy, i started yelling haiti, they tried to j. edgar hoover me. john you see the truth in my eyes i want to help me people until they die. the way you see the debate, hillary was cool.
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she says she's going to be the first and next to lead the west ? he say he going to build the wall have mexico pay for it all ? and there's a ride every week the uniform blue and the people in the streets ? yeah, living on the edge you could be the next one walking with the dead ? if i was president i'd get elected on friday ? assassinated on saturday and buried on sunday ? then go back to work on monday
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it's just an ordinary day ? but i could be the president and you could be the president and she could be the president i could be the president ? yeah, yeah, i could be the president ? her t-shirt says black lives matter ? the media screaming all lives matter ? johnny got a gun up in his hand walking into the school and you hear the bang-bang ? suzanna from ambamma can't walk the walk because she lost two legs in the war ? bang if you looking for all you have to do is call up the full g. ? they don't want to talk about the secrecy ? they don't want to talk about the conspiracy ? eh, ehupon i'd get elected on friday ? assassinated on saturday and buried on sunday then monday everybody go back to
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? an ordinary day yeah ? but i could be the president and you could be the president and she could be the president and we could be the president ? we gonna rise we gonna rise, we gonna rise ? everybody just rise we gonna rise upon everybody get, get up, get up, new york city, let's go, yeah ? we gonna rise we gonna rise ? we gonna rise, everybody just rise ? we we gonna rise ? everybody just rise. put your hands in the air ? new york city gotta rise ? you know we gotta rise we gotta rise ? everybody in the house everybody gotta rise ? we gonna rise we gonna rise ? we gonna rise everybody just rise ? go back to the love go back to the love
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? oh, yeah go back to the love ? if i was president ? ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: wyclef jean, >> stephen: wyclef jean, everybody!
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>> stephen: that's it for the "late show," everybody! please tune in next week when i'll be talking to tom hanks, abbi jacobsen, and drew carey. james corden is next. have a great weekend! good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh ? are you ready y'all to have some fun ? and feel the love tonight don't you worry ? where it is you come from it's going to be all right ? it's the "late, late show" >> reggie: ladies and gentlemen,


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