xv, 296 p. : 22 cm

Includes bibliographical references (p. 279-282) and index

The bomb in the basement and the bomb in the attic : common characteristics of alcoholic families and survival adaptation of adult children of alcoholics -- The same but different : differences in children from the same alcoholic family and differences in alcoholic families -- Self-sufficient in an insufficient way : learning to survive under chronic stress -- The gift that keeps on giving : characteristics of children of alcoholics -- Surviving the unimaginable : the resiliency of children of alcoholics -- Validation of trauma and breaking through denial : understanding the normal response to an abnormal and painful life -- Building a cognitive life raft : developing an intellectual understanding of the effects of a painful life -- An emotional safety net : building a relationship with the child within -- Grief work : the pain that begins to heal itself -- Mourning, then behavior change : moving on and giving back -- I want you, want you gone, want you back : ACOAs in intimate relationships -- Misplaced loyalty : the codependency factor -- Empowering change in a painful legacy : adult children and sibling relationships -- ACOAs become parents : a pioneering effort -- A pain too deep : ACOAs taking care of elderly parents -- ACOAs in the workplace : I can be a team player as long as I'm the only player on the team -- Acceptance and forgiveness : holding on to resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other guy dies -- Finding the sacred in the ordinary : opening a window to spirituality for adult children of alcoholics

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