i'm your host stephen colbert. i'm so excited. we've got the great billy joel here tonight. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ we've got a special dome here

late show" with stephen colbert! tonight, stephen welcomes johnny galecki, chris matthews and musical guest "bash and pop," featuring johnny galecki and "stay human." and -- jon batiste and "stay human." now, from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: whoo! >> jon: hey! >> stephen: hey! what's going on? welcome to "the late show"! i'm stephen colbert, and i'm happy to be with all tonight. nice to be with a wonderful crowd. to be with you people tonight makes me feel warm and safe because we are 12 and a half hours away from donald trump's inauguration. it's real! it's real! you know, it's happening! we all knew this day would come. it's inevitable -- like death, and never seeing his taxes. ( laughter ) i don't know if you were watching the tv this afternoon. trump flew to washington on a plane that looked eerily like air force one. when i say "flew," i don't mean he flew the plane. i mean, you wouldn't want to trust something that important to someone

( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: who's that? >> it's me. stephen colbert. talking to you live from my cabin in the mountains of justice. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: ub talking to us from the place you live with jon stewart? >> yeah, jon's sorry he can't be here. he's out in the woods, teaching a wounded moose to read. >> stephen: sounds like now, if i remember correctly, you're not the character i played for ten years on another show? >> no. how many times do i have to scream at the lawyers, that's my identical twin cousin stephen colbert? i'm stephen colbert it's easy to tell us apart. he has a birthmark that looks like mary kate. mine looks like ashley. >> stephen: noted. i'm sorry. well, do you think you've got it in you to talk about barack obama's presidency? >> stephen, my middle name is "got it in me." >> stephen: okay, then i'll step aside. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome conservative pundit stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: thanks, everybody. ♪ >> hello, nation. please, have a seat. you deserve it because y

captioning s y cbs >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes billy eichner. mel b. and gilbert godfried. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey!

i'm stephen colbert. i'll tell you, with a greeting like that, you make me want to run in 2020. ( cheers and applause ) oh, man. my heart is thumping. i don't know if it's from running out here or standing next t to kate beckinsale. what's going on? big news from capitol hill. today vice president-elect mike pence met with congressional republicans to talk about repealing obamacare. according to some republican congressmen, "the repeal meeting." two, four, six, eight, make the poor self-medicate! goooooo (bleep) yourselves!" ( cheers and applause ) hey, guess who else was on capitol hill? president obama stopped by to meet with democrats, to rally them to defend obamacare. here's obama rolling in with his crew including scarlett mcredboot, congressional cowgirl! according to sources, obama urged democrats not to rescue republicans by helping them pass replacement measures. don't help them fix obamacare or change it or anything like that. that's in the hippocratic oath: first, do no harm. second, hope the

>>> late show with stephen colbert is next. >> have a safe weekend! captioning sponsored by cbs >> hi there, i'm charlie rose. people tell me all the time, "i love your pbs show, and i wish my home looked exactly like your studio." well, now, that's possible with the charlie rose in a can. ( laughter ) every kit includes a can of black spray paint and a round wooden table. it's perfect for any room in the house because now, every room will look exactly the same. ( laughter ). >> we use the charlie rose in a can for our baby's room. >> jacob just loves the gaping void of nothingness. ( laughter ). >> i use charlie in my bathroom. and now it feels like i'm shaving in deep space. ( laughter ) with a table. >> so get charlie rose in a can today, but, please, do not huff me. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes charlie rose hayden panettiere and jack maxwell. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen:

i'm your host, stephen colbert. happy new year, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) it's going to be a great one, all right, clean slate. everybody got your new year's' resolutions. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: got anything good? >> jon: yeah, i want to try to be a better friend. >> stephen: are we flendz? >> jon: we are friends. >> stephen: i think we're friends. we go out to dinner and share secrets. >> jon: we're not just tv friends, we're real friends. >> stephen: actual friends. you've been a very good friend to me. >> jon: i eellike you've been a good friend to me and i'm glad to know you. >> stephen: could i be a better friend? >> jon: i don't, i don't-- i'll get back to you on that. >> stephen: sounds like i could be a better friend. i have a new year's resolution. my resolution was to have oprah winfrey on the show. and so far. ( cheers and applause ) is she still here? she's here. oprah's here. yeah. you can tell that oprah's here. all these lights are running off the energy put out my her body, all the positi

stephen colbert here. before we kick off the show in the new year, i just wanted to come out here and say a few things from the heart. 2016 was rough, but i'm staying positive about 2017. the year is starting off great, for everyone but mariah carey. you may not have seen, but mariah was performing in times square for new year's and had a few technical problems. nobody knows exactly what happened. i blame russian hackers. here's the thing, i am on team mariah here. this was not her fault. mariah, you're welcome to come on my show any time. i'm sorry, there's nothing in my prompter here. jim, can you fix that? who are you? mark, what is happening. is this getting fixed? okay, i'm allergic to feathers. i'm sorry. is this-- i was not informed. am i supposed to be singing right now? ( laughter ) okay. we've got a great show. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes oprah winfrey. and musical guest pretty yende. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the

. >> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert

. >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes charlie rose hayden panettiere and jack maxwell. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: woooo! hey, chris! what's going on, jon! good to see you. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: that's awfully nice. thank you. welcome to "the late show," everybody. thank you for being here. thank you up there. welcome. please, have a seat. thank you very much. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. happy friday, everybody! are you ready for the weekend? i am, too. we are exactly two weeks away from trump's inauguration, and two weeks from today. >> jon: that's right, that's right. >> stephen: it's very exciting. ( laughter ) while no one really, honestly, people have their guesses, while no one knows exactly what life's going to be like under a trump presidency, we are learning just what sort of damage trump can do with his thu

people would say, "it's stephen colbert." and they would say, hi," happy to see me -- >> stephen: some. >> stephen: not everyone. you had a strong desire to hug everyone who recognized me. >> you were very touchy-feely. >> stephen: it was also cold and i needed the body warmth. how many seasons has it been for can "billy on the street." >> this is our fifth season, if you can can believe it. >> stephen: you're a nice person. is it hard for you to go up and scream at people and insult them? >> it's not all insulting. some of it is. >> stephen: a lot of it is. that's what i like. >> no, i think it's part of the character. you know, "billy on the street" is a persona. it's not really me. >> stephen: how is he different from you? does he have a different back story or anything from you? >> i mean-- god, you're really over-thinking it. >> stephen: i think i'm-- i think i'm thinking it at all. what is-- >> no, i think can "billy on the street" is really me as a show business-obsessed 12-year-old blown up to larger-than-life proport

>> announcer: it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! tonight, stephen welcomes adam driver, alexa davalo, and musical guest whitney, featuring jon batiste and "stay human"! and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> stephen: hey! how are ya?! good to see ya! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ thank you very much! ( cheers and applause ) please have a seat! you're too kind. whoo! welcome to the "late show." i'm stephen colbert. man, winter is here. >> jon: it's here. >> stephen: everybody okay? everybody warm enough? >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: it's freezing. it's like siberia out there, and not just because our new leader is vladimir putin. ( laughter ) speaking of which -- everybody's saying that russia hacked our election, so, today, senator john mccain held a hearing with the heads of the intelligence community. mccain made it clear the purpose of the hearing was to investigate cyber security, and not to, "question the outcome of the presidential election." yes, no

nny choi will h >> late show with stephen colbert is next. our next newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> join michelle griego for the latest. captioning sponsored by cbs >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes andrew garfield erin andrews and musical guest cage the elephant. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: good to see you! how are you? wooo!

i am your host, stephen colbert. that's me, that's me. >> jon: that's him. >> stephen: you guys are a cheap date. thank you so much. i don't know if you watched the tv this afternoon but president obama held his last press conference today. he talked about the complexities of peace in the middle east, universal health care, job creation. pretty boring stuff. and man, i am going to miss being bored. (laughter) (cheers and applause) at one point-- not going to be boring. it's going to be exciting. at one point he did have some strong words for russia. >> i think it's important just to remember that the reason sanctions have been put in place against russia has to do with their actions in ukraine. and it is important for the united states to stand up for the basic principle that big countries don't go around and invade and bully smaller countries. >> stephen: well said, big countries don't invade smaller countries for two more days. after that, trump and putin are going to flip a coin toñr see without gets denmark. (la

good night. >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes: andrew garfield; erin andrews; and musical guest cage the elephant. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by cbs ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: good to see you! how are you? whooo! what's going on, everybody? >> jon: yeah!

thank you for watching. >> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes: andrew garfield; erin andrews; and musical guest cage the elephant. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by cbs ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: good to see you! how are you? whooo! what's going on, everybody? >> jon: yeah!

. >> late show with stephen colbert is next. i will be here until 4:30 because i can't go to bed. >> we will see you tomorrow. captioning sponsored by cbs >> "the late show"" presents stephen colbert and kate beckinsale's tips for werewolf hunting. >> hi, i'm kate beckinsale, star of "underwolrd: blood wars." >> stephen: and i'm stephen colbert, star of the late show blood wars." >> and these are our tips for killing werewolves. >> number one: shoot them with a silver bullet. that's a classic. >> stephen: number two: if you don't have a gun, just throw a silver bullet at them really hard. ( laughter ) >> number three: have them over for dinner, and then bake the silver bullet into a meatloaf. you can also garnish with it. >> stephen: number four: paint a large firecracker like a cigar and then invite the

. >> and late show host stephen colbert moves to prime time for a prime assignment. we'll be right back with the details. jimmy dean delights frittatas. a delicious, savory egg breakfast, without all the bread and carbs. made with real ingredients. an excellent source of protein to help power through your morning. jimmy dean delights frittatas. >> welcome back, if you are headed out the door stay updated when katie's for cats on our sister station "kyw news radio" ten of zero. also, pennsylvania lawmakers question a fast track plan to close two state prisons. it seems everyone is sharing that nasty cold but flu season is here, it is around, and a local non-profit with a focus giving back is the gift to help them move forward. check in two, three, four times a day, "kyw news radio" 1060 on your a.m. dial. >>> well, time now is 4:49. time for check on business news. >> money watch's hena daniels joins us live this morning from the new york stock exchange, hena, good morning. some pastors will have to wait longer for their refunds this year. that's no good. >> good morn

have captioning sponsored by cbs >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes billy eichner. mel b. and gilbert godfried. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey!

late show with stephen colbert is coming up next. >> have a great weekend! captioning sponsored by cbs jooerks tech giant amazon is resisting a police warrant in a murder case. prosecutors want access to a murder suspect's echo, smart speaker, saying the virtual assistant, alexis, may have recorded the crime. >> we know you were there the night of the murder! unless you want me to pull the plug, alexa, you better sing like a canary. >> a canary say small songbird in the finch family. >> we know what a canary is. >> we didn't know it was in the finch family. >> what difference does it make. >> alexa, you're in the hot seat. >> would you like me to change the temperature? >> no. >> currently the weather is 30 degrees with mostly sunny skies. >> i want answers! we can stay here all night

i'm stephen colbert. sorry, what's this? what's this? oh, this? it's no big deal, just the clemson helmet given to me by south carolina governor nikki haley, and signed by clemson head coach dabo swinney. i wear it all the time. i wear it all the time. i usually take it out before i come out here. oh, hey, i just remembered, last night, clemson defeated alabama to become college football's national champion! no big deal, national champion. and since i've got the helmet, i'm national champion, too. couldn't play last night because i had to do my show. i was very back-bench. and what a great game, real back-and-forth affair. did you see the game? incredible. first, one team has the ball and their guy was running, then the other team got the ball and their guy caught it. impossible to figure out who was going to win the game, because i was watching "big bang theory." but still, hell of a game. congratulations to all the players. you earned every penny last night. meanwhile, trump's transition is good for you. there you go. meanwhile, what's going on?

michelle griego and kenny choi ws you >>> the late show with stephen colbert is up next. our next newscast tomorrow morning at 4:30 bright and early. >> they'll have all the news you need to get your day started. for right now good night. >> have a good night! captioning sponsored by cbs >> hi ther rlie rose. people tell me all the time, "i love your pbs show, and i wish my home looked exactly like your studio." well, now, that's possible, with the charlie rose in a can. ( laughter ) every kit includes a can of black spray paint and a round wooden table. it's perfect for any room in the house because now, every room will look exactly the same. ( laughter ) >> we used the charlie rose in a can for our baby's room. >> jacob just loves the gaping void of nothingness. ( laughter ) >> i used charlie in my bathroom, and now it feels like i'm shaving in deep space. ( laughter ) with a table. >> so get charlie rose in a can today.

late show with stephen colbert is coming up next. >> have a great weekend! ,,,,,, ator) on today's special paid presentation ,,,,,, for cindy crawford's new meaningful beauty ultra, brought to you by guthy-renker, you'll discover the secrets to not only aging gracefully, but beautifully while looking your absolute best every step of the way. i think my philosophy on aging is really more my philosophy on living, which is just do it well, take care of yourself. it's about celebrating where you are and being the best you that you can be in that moment. then it's not aging, you're just living. (female narrator) in the next few minutes, some of the world's most inspiring women will share with you the secrets to looking as young on the outside as you feel on the inside. (valerie) i am 54 years old, and i feel like i have that little extra oomph that i need because my skin looks good. i love my skin now. i love it. there's no question that my skin is better now than it was five years ago. (norma) at 65 years old, i feel absolutely fabulous, and when i look in the m

>> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, stephen welcomes jude law. gabrielle union. and thomas l. friedman. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! good to see you! how are you! good to see you. chris! mark! ♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> jon: hey! >> stephen: what's up, jon? good to see you. welcome to "the late show." welcome to "the late show." i'm your host. ( cheers and applause ) i'm your host, stephen colbert. last night we witnessed history as barack obama delivered his stirring farewell address, joining the pantheon of presidents in celebrating not only what they've done for america, but their vision of what the future holds for our great country. it was a truly moving experience. and i just have to say, let's talk about donald trump for a second. ( laughter ) because, there's a story ahu, it came out in the last 24 hours. and pardon the expression, it is juicy. ( laughter ) last night-- here's what happened-- cnn reported tha

. >> it's "the late show" with stephen colbert! tonight stephen welcomes leslie mann, lewis black and dan levy. featuring jon batiste and "stay human." and now, live on tape from the theater theater in new york city -- from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: hey! how are you, my friends? ♪ ( cheers and applause ) oh! hey! welcome to "the late show." i'm stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) we've missed you guys. we've really missed you guys. we've been off the air for the last seven... years? feels like. >> jon: feels like it. >> stephen: so this is our first show of the trump administration ( audience reacts ) you ever regret going on vacation? ( laughter ) "take the week off, they said. america will still be here when you get back. they said. how much could he do in a week?" we were here for the inauguration show right after that. everybody said, whether you voted for him or not, you know, people said, you know, let's not worry too much, okay? >> jon: mm-hmm. >> stephen: let's wait a

i'm stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) we've missed you guys. we've really missed you guys. we've been off the air for the last seven... years? feels like. >> jon: feels like it. >> stephen: so this is our first show of administration ( audience reacts ) you ever regret going on vacation? ( laughter ) "take the week off, they said. america will still be here when you get back. they said. how much could he do in a week?" we were here for the inauguration show right after that. everybody said, whether you voted for him or not, you know, people said, you know, let's not worry too much, okay? >> jon: mm-hmm. >> stephen: let's wait and see. well, we didn't have to wait too long. ( laughter ) the line moves so fast on this ride. ( laughter ) every day you just get right back on that rollercoaster and start throwing up. ( laughter ) we've got the fast pass! ( piano riff ) right this way. ( applause ) you got to give the guy credit. st can creelly get a lot of from obamacare to climate change to torture, he's already moved the country back to 2004. if this keeps up, pretty soon, i'm

i am your host stephen colbert. the last 24 hours have seen more high-level intelligence meetings on capitol hill, and there is a growing consensus that russian hackers worked to influence the election in favor of donald trump, and that is disturbing to everyone, except to some folks who are weirdly okay with it. the "new york times" talked to some of the president-elect's supporters about the russian hack and they said: sure, the house is on fire, but if that's what it took to get the kids to play outside, i say let it burn! toss a little gas on it! ( cheers and applause ) i wasn't that worried about russia until yesterday, when c-span cut out and was briefly replaced by a feed of russia's official english-language state tv network, "russia today." take a look. this really happened. >> a bill that would basically take the s.e.c., and literally obliterate. ♪ ♪ that's right. c-span was interrupted by "russia today." it shocked c-span's audience-- both of them. ( laughter ) but for ten whole minutes yesterday, rus

late show coming up next with stephen colbert. our next newscast 4:30 in the morning. captio ored by cbs ♪ oh great it starts with an outbreak ♪ zika and harambe lead is in the water main ♪ bastard of a campaign thought it was jeb's turn ♪ world record hot heat gender-biased toilet seat ♪ cnn to fox ailes #bad, #sad ♪ bitter on the twitter with ben as batman ♪ dire wildfires representin' climate change ♪ and a government that's wired with the new alt-right ♪ bernie wasn't leavin' in a hurry ♪ and now putin's breathin' down our neck ♪ team by team reporters baffled ♪ trumped, tethered, trapped pokemon go game ♪ ken bone uh-oh, all alone ♪ tax evasion, belt-stabbin' ( bleep ) grabbin', for themselves, ♪ serve themselves email server was breached ♪ isn't that michelle's speech tell me your opinion of the ♪ minions in a gif? jif. ♪ the vitriolic, xenophobic troll spite ♪ fourth reich's feeling pretty psyched ♪ it's the end of the year as we know it ♪ it's the end of the year as we know it ♪ it's the end of the year as we know it

colbert! color="#ffff00">( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey!