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Li-f  220O.  /i.io 


HARVARD 
COLLEGE 
LIBRARY 


GLEAN  I N  GS 

FOR   THE    CURIOUS 


FBOM    THE 


Harvest-Fields  of  Literature. 


A  MELANGE  OF  EXCERPTA. 


COLLATED   BT 


C.  C.  BOMBAUGH,  A.M.,  M.D. 


"  80  ihe  gleaned  in  the  field  until  eren,  and  beat  oat  that  ehe  had  gleaned  :  and 
it  was  about  an  epbah  of  barley.*^— Buth  2 :  17. 

**  I  hare  here  made  a  noeegay  of  culled  flowers,  and  hare  brought  notbing  of  my 
own  bat  the  itring  that  tiee  them.**— Montaiqnb. 


PHILADKLPHIA: 

J.  B.  LIPPINCOTT  COMPANY. 

1890. 


S^  ^o-  cro  .    d'   lO 


v.. 


.1  Nh   .    .   It'.- 


Entered,  according  to  Act  of  OongresB,  In  the  year  1874,  by 

A.  D.  WOBTHINGTON  ft  00. 
In  the  Office  of  the  Librarian  of  CongresB,  at  Waahlngton. 


/^     f: 


^Ptefatorg* 


i  am  not  ignorant,  ne  unsnrei  tjftat  mans  tjft^t^  ^^h 
htfoxt  to$o0e  sii^t  tjbto  ISooit  sj^all  finlie  small  grace, 
anil  UMt  fabouc  So  jbar)i  a  tjbtng  it  is  to  torite  or 
tnlitte  ans  matter,  to^atsoeber  it  it,  t^at  B^oulb  it  atU 
to  0iuitaine  anii  abilie  t$e  bariable  iuligement,  ant  to 
oitaine  or  \Binnt  tjge  constant  lobe  arib  allotoanre  of 
ebers  man,  especialls  if  it  containe  in  it  ans  nobelts  or 
untoonteli  strangenesse* — ^Ratnald's  Woman's  Book. 


Ui 


Bid  him  welcome.   This  is  the  motley-minded  gentleman. 

As  Tou  Like  It. 

^A  fountain  set  round  with  a  rim  of  old,  mossy  stones,  and 

paved  in  its  bed  with  a  sort  of  mosaic  work  of  variously-colored 
pebbles.  House  op  Seven  Gables. 

^A  gatherer  and  a  disposer  of  other  men's  stuff. 

^  WOTTOH. 

A  running  banquet  that  hath  much  variety,  but  little  of  a  sort. 

Butler. 

They  have  been  at  a  great  feast  of  languages,  and  stolen  the 
*®'*^''  Love's  Labor  Lost. 

There's  no  want  of  meat,  sir;  portly  and  curious  viands  are 
prepared  to  please  all  kinds  of  appetites.  MAssiirosB 

A  dinner  of  fragments  is  said  often  to  be  the  best  dinner.  Bo 
are  there  few  minds  but  might  furnish  some  instruction  and  en- 
tertainment out  of  their  scraps,  their  odds  and  ends  of  thought. 
They  who  cannot  weave  a  uniform  web  may  at  least  produce  a 
piece  of  patchwork ;  which  may  be  useftQ  and  not  without  a  charm 
of  its  own.  Guesses  at  Truth. 

^It  is  a  regular  omnibus ;  there  is  something  in  it  to  every- 
body's taste.  Those  who  like  fat  can  have  it ;  so  can  they  who 
like  lean;  as  well  as  those  who  prefer  sugar,  and  those  who 
choose  pepper.  Mysteries  of  Paris. 

Bead,  and  fear  not  thine  own  understanding:  this  book  will 
create  a  clear  one  in  thee ;  and  when  thou  hast  considered  thy 
purchase,  thou  wilt  call  the  price  of  it  a  charity  to  thyselt 

Shirley. 

In  winter  you  may  reade  them  ad  ignem,  by  the  fireside,  and 
in  summer  ad  umbram,  under  some  shadie  tree ;  and  therewith 
passe  away  the  tedious  howres.  Saltonstall. 


iv 


INTRODUCTION. 


Ax  earlier  edition  of  Gleanings  haTing  attracted  the  hearty  appro- 
val of  a  limited  circle  of  that  class  of  readers  who  prefer  "  a  running 
banquet  that  hath  much  variety,  but  little  of  a  sort/*  the  present  pub- 
lisher requested  the  preparation  of  an  enlargement  of  the  work.  In 
the  augmented  form  in  which  it  is  now  offered  to  the  public,  the  con- 
tents will  be  found  so  much  more  comprehensive  and  omni&rioua 
that,  while  it  has  been  nearly  doubled  in  size,  it  has  been  more  than 
doubled  in  literary  value. 

Miscellanea  of  the  omnium-gatherum  sort  appear  to  be  as  accep- 
table to-day  as  they  undoubtedly  were  in  the  youthful  period  of  our 
literature,  though  for  an  opposite  reason.  When  books  were  scarce, 
and  costly,  and  inaccessible,  anxious  readers  found  in  "  scripscrap- 
ologia"  multiferious  sources  of  instruction ;  now  that  books  are  like 
the  stars  for  multitude,  the  reader  who  is  appalled  by  their  endless 
Buoceasion  and  variety  is  fain  to  receive  with  thankfiilness  the  cream 
that  is  skimmed  and  the  grain  that  is  sifted  by  patient  hands  for 
his  use.  Our  ancestors  were  regaled  with  such  olla-podrida  as  "  The 
Galimaufry :  a  Kickshaw  [Fr.  qiidque  chose]  Treat  which  comprehends 
odd  bits  and  scraps,  and  odds  and  ends ;"  or  "  The  Wit's  Miscellany : 
odd  and  uncommon  epigrams,  facetious  drolleries,  whimsical  mottoes, 
merry  tales,  and  &bles,'for  the  entertainment  and  diversion  of  good 
company."  To  the  present  generation  is  accorded  a  wider  field  for 
excursion,  from  the  Curiosities  of  Disraeli,  and  the  C!ommonplaces  of 
Southey,  to  the  less  ambitious  collections  of  less  learned  collaborators. 

"  Into  a  hotch-potch,"  says  Sir  Edward  Coke,  **  is  commonly  put  not 
one  thing  alone,  but  one  thing  with  other  things  together."  The 
present  volume  is  an  expedient  for  grouping  together  a  variety  which 
will  be  found  in  no  other  compilation.  From  the  nonsense  of  literary 
trifling  to  the  highest  expression  of  intellectual  force;  from  the 
anachronisms  of  art  to  the  grandest  revelations  of  science;  from 
selections  for  the  child  to  extracts  for  the  philosopher,  it  will  accom- 
modate the  widest  diversity  of  taste,  and  furnish  entertainment  for  all 
ages,  sexes,  and  conditions.    As  a  pastime  for  the  leisure  half-hour,  at 


▼1  nrTW>Dccno5. 

borne  or  abfvMd ;  as  a  oompanion  by  the  firende,  or  the  seaside,  amid 

the  ham  of  the  city,  or  in  the  aolitnde  of  rural  life ;  as  a  means  of  re- 
UzatioD  for  the  mind  jaded  by  baaneas  activities,  it  may  be  safely 
commended  to  acceptance. 

The  aim  of  this  collation  is  not  to  be  ezhanstiTe,  bat  simply  to  be 
well  compacted.  The  lestrictiTe  limits  of  an  octavo  leqaire  the 
winnowings  of  selection  in  place  of  the  balk  of  expansion.  Gar- 
gantoa,  we  are  told  by  Rabelais,  wrote  to  his  son  Pantagrael, 
commanding  him  to  learn  Greek,  Latin,  Chaldaic,  and  Arabic;  all 
history,  geometry,  arithmetic,  music,  astronomy,  natoial  philosophy, 
etc.,  "  so  that  there  be  not  a  river  in  the  world  thoa  dost  not  know 
the  name  and  nature  of  all  its  fishes ;  all  the  fowls  of  the  air ;  all  the 
several  kinds  of  shrubs  and  herbs ;  all  the  metals  hid  in  the  bowels  of 
the  earth,  all  gems  and  precious  stones.  I  would  furthermore  have 
thee  study  the  Talmudists  and  Cabalists,  and  get  a  perfect  knowledge 
of  man.  In  brief;  I  would  have  thee  a  bottomless  pit  of  all  knowl- 
edge." While  this  book  does  not  aspire  to  such  Gargantuan  compre- 
heasiveness,  it  seeks  a  higher  grade  of  merit  than  that  which  attaches 
to  those  who  "  chronicle  small  beer,"  or  to  him  who  is  merely  *'  a 
snapper-up  of  unconsidered  trifles." 

Quaint  old  Burton,  in  describing  the  travels  of  Panlus  Emilius, 
says,  *'  He  took  great  content,  exceeding  delight  in  that  his  voyage,  as 
who  doth  not  that  shall  attempt  the  like  ?  For  peregrination  charms 
our  senses  with  such  unspeakable  and  sweet  variety,  that  some  count 
him  unhappy  that  never  traveled,  a  kind  of  prisoner,  and  pity  his 
case  that  from  his  cradle  to  his  old, age  beholds  the  same  still ;  stiU, 
still,  the  same,  the  same."  It  is  the  purpose  of  these  Gleanings  to 
oompeas  such  "  sweet  variety"  by  conducting  the  reader  here,  through 
the  green  lanes  of  freshened  thought,  and  tliere,  through  by-paths 
neglected  and  gray  with  the  moss  of  ages;  now,  amid  cultivated 
fields,  and  then,  adown  untrodden  ways;  at  one  time,  to  rescue  from 
oblivion  fugitive  thoughts  which  the  world  should  not  "  willingly  let 
die,"  at  another,  to  restore  to  sunlight  gems  which  have  been  too  long 
*'  underkept  and  down  supprest."  The  compiler  asks  the  tourist  to 
accompany  him,  because  with  him,  as  with  Montaigne  end  Hans 
Andersen,  there  is  no  pleasure  without  communication,  and  though 
all  men  may  find  in  these  Collectanea  some  things  which  they  will 
recognize  as  old  acquaintances,  yet  will  they  find  many  more  with 
which  they  are  unfamiliar,  and  to  which  their  attention  has  never 
been  awakened. 


©onlante. 


TheFreaiaand  FoiOet  <ff  LUercOure-AceotnU  qf  certain  OnfftOar  Bml»- 
What  an  Pangrammaia  f—Th€  BanUhed  LetUn^Ete^t Ltgend—AXphO' 
biUeal  Adverti9enuntr-Th£  Three  2nUiali—A  JaeoUte  Toaet—**  The  Begins 
ninff  of  Eternity'^— The  Poor  Letter  H—The  LeUere  qf  the  Woiid— Trope 
for  the  Oockneye—Ingenioue  Vereee  on  the  VoweU-^AUUerative  Vereee—'*A 
Bevy  ^  BeUee"'— Antithetical  Sermon-'Aeroeiice— Double,  Triple,  and  Be- 
versed  Acrostiee^Beautifid  and  Singular  Jnetaneee— The  Poets  in  Verm  • 
On  Benedict  Arnold— Curious  Pasquinade— Monastic  Verses— The  P%ffuye 
qf  the  Fl^— Acrostic  on  2fapoleon— Madame  Sadiael— Masonic  Memento— 
"  Hen^  "-"  Brevity  qf  Buman  Ufe ''— Acrostic  Valentine— Anagrams— 
Oennan,  Latin^  and  FngOshlnetanees— Chronograms 86 

^almbromts. 

Beading  in  every  Style— What  is  a  PaHndrome f—What  St,  Martin  said  to 
the  Devil— The  Lawyer^s  Motto— What  Adam  said  to  Eve— The  Poor  Young 
Man  in  Lone— What  Dean  Sw{ft  wrote  to  Dr.  Sheridan—''  The  Witch's 
Prayer  **—The  Device  qf  a  Lady— Huguenot  and  Bomanist ;  DotOiU  DeaUng, 

60 

Cqtnboqttt. 

A  Very  Deeei^l  Sfietle—A  Wicked  Love  Letter— What  a  Young  W\fe  terote 
to  her  Friend— The  Jesuits  Creed— BevoiutUmary  Verus— Double  Deal- 
ings—A Fatal  Name— The  Triple  PWorm—A  Bishop^s  Evasion- The 
"  Toaet*'  given  by  a  Smart  Young  Man^'*  The  Handwriting  on  the  Wall''— 
French  Actresses— How  MdOe.  Mars  told  her  Age— A  Lenient  Judge— What 

Mdlle.dco  whispered  to ''the  BenehJ" 64 

Tii 


Vm  CONTENTS. 


K^e  €txda. 

"X  Cloak  of  I^atehM^^—ffow  Centos  are  madt—MotoAc  Poetry— Th€  Poets  in 
a  Mixed  State—New  Versionitf  Old  Lines— Cento  on  Ufe-A  Cento  ftom 
thirty-eight  Authors—  CenLo  from  Pope—JBiblieal  Sentiments—  The  Betum  qf 
JsraO—Beligious  Centos 78 

Pacaromc  Vtx$t. 

"X  Treatiss  on  mns''—MonHih  Opinions— Whi4^  Tree  is  Bsstf-A  Loner 
vMh  Nine  Tongues— Horace  in  a  New  Dress— What  was  Written  on  a 
Fly-Leftf—^^  The  Cat  and  the  Bats''— An  Advertisement  in  Five  Lan- 
guages—Parting Address  to  a  Friend— *^'  Oh^  the  Bhine!  ''-The  Death  of 
the  Sea  Serpent TB 

Lasphrise's  Novelties-Singular  Ode  to  Death— On  ''The  Truth''-'' Long 
I  looked  into  the  Sky''— A  Binging  Song— A  Qem  (f  Three  Centuries 
Old 85 


$0ttl8    $hlU8. 

The  Skdetons  of  Poetry— Bow  the  Poet  Dvlot  lost  all  his  Ideas— Ths  FOght  ef 
three  hundred  Sonnets— The  "Nettle"  Bhymes—Bow  a  Young  Lady  teased 
her  Beau— Assisting  a  Poet— Miss  Lydia's  Acrostic— Alfred  De  Mussete 
Lines— What  the  Due  de  MtUakqf  wrote— Beverted  Bliymes—How  to  make 
''ShopaUc"  verses!— What  theyare 88 


(EmbUntHtic  ^ottrg. 

Poetry  in  Visible  Shape— The  Bow  and  Arroio  of  Lave— The  Deeeltfid  Glass— 
Prudent  Advice— A  Very  Singular  Dirge-Poetry  among  the  Monks— Sacred 
Symbols— A  Hymn  in  Cruciform  Shape— Ancient  Devices- Verses  toUhin  the 
Cross— Cypher-"  UO  aO,  but  I  0  U"— Perplexing  Printer's  Puzzle— An 
Oiford  Joke— The  Puzzle  of  "  The  Precepts  Ten"— A  Mysterious  Letter  to 
ioMissK,  T.J 98 


CONTENTS.  IX 

The  Poteer  of  LUUe  Words— How  Pope  BicUaded  them— The  "  Universal 
Praver^^—Sxample  <^  Dr.  Watts— WedeyU  Hymns— Writings  qf  Shake- 
speare and  Milton— ^*^  Address  to  the  Dc^odils'^-Oeo.  Herberts  Poems- 
Testimony  of  KdUe^  Yomig^  LandOTy  and  Fletcher— Examples  from  Bailey'* s 
*^Festus'*—The  Short  Words  of  Scripture— Big  and  Little  Words  Com- 
pared 96 

Who  wrote  the  Scriptures— Why-r-And  Whenr- Accuracy  of  the  Bidle—The 
Testimony  of  Modem  Discoveries— Scope  and  Depth  of  Scripture  Teaehinff— 
What  Learned  Men  have  written  of  the  Bible— Testimony  qf  Bottsseau,  WiL 
herfOrce^  Bolingbroke^  Sir  Wm.  Jones^  Webster^  John  Quiney  Adams,  Addi- 
son, Byron,  Ac.— Who  Trandated  the  Bible— Wickl\f's  Version— Tyndale^s 
Translatkmr-Maithew^s  Bible— Cranmer's  Edition— The  Geneva  Bible— 
TheBreechesBible— The  Bishop's  Bible— Parker's  Bible-^The  DouayBible- 
King  Jameses  Bible— The  Number  of  Books,  Chapters,  Verses,  Words,  and 
Letters  in  the  Old  and  New  Testaments— The  Bible  Distwted—An  Extra- 
ordinary  Calculation— Distinctions  betv^een  the  Gotpds—The  Lost  Books-- 
What  the  word  ''Sdah''  means— The  Poetry  of  the  Bible— Shakespeare's 
Knowledge  of  Scripture— The  "  True  OenOeman'"  qf  the  BibU— Misquota- 
tions from  Scripture— A  Scriptural "  BuU^'—  WU  and  Humor  in  the  Bible— 
SortesSaera^Ckisang  Lots  toith  the  Bible lOS 


t^e  Ifamt  of  £ob. 


Bow  God  is  known— His  Name  in  all  the  tongues  qf  Earth— Ancient  Saxon 
Ideas  qf  Deity— '^  Elohim'*  and  "'Jehovah  ''—The  ''Lord''  qf  the  Ancient 
Jews—"  Ood  in  Shakespeare"— The  Fatherhood  of  Ood—The  Parsee,  Jew, 
and  Christian 121 

The  Name  of  Jesus— What  does  L  H  S.  Meanf—'De  Nomine  Jean— TTAo^  St. 
Bemardine  did—'"  Tlie  Flower  qf  Jesse  '"^—Story  of  the  Jpfant  Jesus— Andent 
Legends  of  Christ— Persian  Story ;  The  Dead  Dog— Description  qf  ChrisCs 
Person— Th£  Death  Warrant  of  Christ— The  Sign  qf  Vie  Cross  in  Ancient 
America 130 


X  CONTENTS. 

Thy  and  Us— The  "fljpirir*  qf  the  LorcTa  Prayer^CMMc  Version  of  ths 
Fourth  Century— Metrical  VenUme—Set  to  MuHo—The  Prayer  lUuetrated— 
Acroetlcal  Paraphraee—What  the  Bible  Oommeniatore  Said— The  Prayer 
Echoed—A  Slnarular  Acroetic 186 

Anecdotes  qf  dergy— Excessive  dtM&ty—A  Very  PUUe  Preacher— Dean  SuHJVs 
short  Sermon— ^' Down  with  the  Duet'*''— An  Abbreviated  Sermon— Dr. 
Dodd's  Sermon  on  Malt—BombaMic  Style  qf  Basoom—The  Preachers  of 
CfromwelTs  time—'Whjen  a  man  ought  to  Cough!— Origin  of  Texts— How 
the  Ancient  Prophets  Preached— Clerical  Blunders— Proving  an  Alibi— 
Whit^field  and  the  Sailors— Protestant  Excommunication— The  Tender 
Merdea  qf  John  Knox 143 

^nritati  IPfoxIianius. 

The  Puritan  Maiden  "  7W»y  "— X  Jury-List  of  IKS-An  Extraordinary  list 
qf  Names— Singular  Similes— Early  Punishments  in  Massachusetts— Vir- 
ginia Penalties  in  the  Olden  Time^Primitive  Fines  for  Curious  Crimes- 
Staying  away  from  Church— T tie  ^^Blue  Laws^^  qf  Connsciieut—Hard 
Punishments  for  LUile  FauUs 160 

paronomasia. 

The  Art  qf  Pun-making— What  is  Wit  f— Puns  Among  the  Hebrews— A  Pun- 
gent Chapter— Punning  Examples— The  Short  Eoad  to  Wealth— A  ''''Man 
qf  Greece^'— Witty  Impromptus  qf  Sydney  Smith^StartHng  toast  of  Harry 
Erskine—'^  Top  and  Bottom  "—  The  Imp  qf  Darkness  and  the  Imp  o'  Light— 
A  Printer's  EpUcg^hr-The  ''whacks''  and  the  " «rtct "— " Wo-man  "  and 
"  Whimrmen'"—F(dthless  Sally  Brown— Whiskers  verpna  Baeors— Pleasure 
and  Payne— Plaint  qf  the  old  Pauper^— To  my  Nose— Bad  "  acconntants  " 
but  excellent  ''book-keepers'*''— The  Vegetable  Girl— On  an  Old  Horse— 
Grand  Scheme  qf  Education-"  The  Perilous  Practice  qf  Punning""—"  Tu 
Porta  SaluB"— On  a  Youth  who  was  killed  by  Fruit— The  Appeal  of 
Widow-Hood— SwifTs  Latin  Puna—Pims  in  Macbeth^  Classical  Puns  and 
Mottoes— Mottoes  of  the  English  Peerage— 3 evLT-6e-'i/ioiB— How  Schott  WiU- 
ing—A  Catalectic  Monody— Bees  qf  the  Bible— Franklin'' s  "  Re's''''— Funny 
'' Miss-Nomers  "— Crooked  Coincidences— A  Court  FooTs  Pun 155 


OOMTfiNTS.  XI 

finglb^  9Sorb0  anb  ^axms  of  titfTtBtaatL 

Dictionary  EngXUh—Ntanber  <^  worda  in  tht  EnglUh  lawruagt--langwiig€  qf 
</  the  BiNe-Sourcet  ^  the  LanguaQe—UdiAng  a  Forelffntr—Diffteultie*  qf 
the  LanguaQe-DUraOian,  EngUth—Why  use  '"  Te^'f—Rs,  His,  and  Her- 
How  qften  "  That "  may  be  wed— How  many  sounds  are  given  to  ^^cugh  "— 
A  literary  Squaddie— Concerning  certain  Words— Excise^  Pontiff ^  Bough— 
J>r.  Johnson  in  Troudte— Americanisms— '* 2fo  Love  Loet^^—The  Forlorn 
Hope— Quiz— Tennyson^s  EngH^tr— Eccentric  Etymologies— Words  which 
have  (hanged  their  Meaning— Strange  Derivations— Injtuenos  qf  Names- 
Big  Words  and  Long  Names 183 

tall  SBriitng. 

The  Domicile  erected  by  John— New  Version  qf  an  Old  Story— Curiosities  qf 
Advertising-Mr.  Connors  and  his  big  Words— Curiosities  qf  the  Post 
Office— Singular  Play  Bill— Andrew  Borde,  his  Book— The  Mad  Poet— 
Foote's  Fanny  Farrago— Burlesque  qf  Dr.  Johnson— Newspaper  Eulogy— 
^^  Clear  as  Mud''— An  Indignant  Lettef^A  Chtmioal  Valentine— The 
Surgeon  to  his  Lady-love— The  Lawyers  Ode  to  J^ning— Proverbs  for  Pre- 
cocious Pta>U» M8 

|p[ttric   $rO0t. 

Vneonsdous  Poetising- Cowper's  Rhyming  Letter  to  Newton— Poetic  Prose  in 
Irving' s  Knickerbocker— Example  from  Disraeli"  s  "  Alray  "—  Unintentional 
Rhythm  in  Charles  Dickens*  works— Old  Curiosity  Shop  and  Nicholas 
NkUeby— American  Notes— Vers^/ioation  in  Scripture— Rhymes  from  Cels- 
brated  Prosers— Curious  Instance  {^Abraham  Lincoln— Opinion  qf  Dr. 
Johntottr^Escamples  from  KemNe  and  Siddons SS8 

S^t  PntnoTS  of  J^trsi&ntion. 

The  Story  qf  the  Lovers— Mingled  Moods  and  Tenses— The  Stammering  W\fer- 
A  Song  with  Variations—''  While  She  Rocks  thi  Cradle''— A  Serio-Oomic 
Elegy— Reminiscence  of  Troy— Concerning  Vegetarianism— W.  C.  Bryant 
as  a  Humoriet— Address  ''To  a  Mosquito"— The  "  Poet "  qf  the"  Atlantic  " 
—Bryants  Travesty— A  Rare  Pipe—  The  Human  Ear— A  Lesson  in  Acous- 
tics—Amusing Burlesque  of  Tennyson— Sir  Tray;  an  Arthurian  Idyl- 
All  AJbout  the  "  Ologies"—The  Variation  Humbug— Buggins  and  the  Busy 
Bee— Comical  Singing  in  Church— The  Curesqf  O'Kelly 980 


Xll  CONTENTS. 


PibtnttanH. 

JHtft  Built  and  BhrnOen—JRu  Edgeworth  on  the  '*Bua''— Obmioal  Letter  qf 
an  Irish  "if.  P:'— Bulls  in  MUsisHppi— American  Bulls— The  New  Jail— 
A  FrenehnuuCs  Blunder— The  ''Puir  SUfy  Body^'  who  torote  a  Book— The 
''InaWqf  ClassicalWriUrs-Bulls  from  everif  Quarter  and q^ all  kinds. 

SII«nbtr0. 

sups  qf  the  Press— The  Bishop  Accused  of  Swearing— The  Datnp  Old  Church— 
Firm  a  French  Newspaper— The  Pig-kUling  Machine  and  the  Doctor- 
Slips  t^  the  Tdegraph— Simmons  and  the  Cranberries— nniOdng  his 
Education— The  Poets  in  a  Quandary— Blunders  <tf  Translators— Bather 
Gigantic  Orasshoppers—''  Looe's  last  8h\fl  '''—Amusing  Blunder  of  Voltaire 
—"A  Fortune  Cutting  Meat''— A  New  "  Translaticn''  of  Hamlet— The 
Frenchman  and  the  WelshBaXMt 259 

Pt8qnolBium0. 

Curious  Misquotations  <tf  WeU-known  Authors— Example  qf  Collins— Sir  Walter 
SeoU  in  Error^Blunder  fxT  Sir  Archibald  Alison— Cruikshank  as  the  Seal 
*»  Simon  Pure  ''—Judge  BesCs  "  Great  Mind  "-Byron's  Little  Mistake .    966 


The  Desertion  <f  ChrisCs  Person  a  Fabrication— ** Beteetor's^  Charge  agamst 
Scott— The  ** Ministering  Angel"  not  a  Fabrieation-The  Moon  Hoax— A 
Literary  '*Sell"—Carlyle's  Worshippers  Outwitted^Mrs,  Hemans'  Forg- 
eriee— Sheridan's  "•' Oresk"— Spurious  Ballads— The  Sinyile  Ballad  Trick 
~^A  Boax  upon  Scott— Pealmanazar's  Celebrated  Fabrications— Benjamin 
FranXtin's  Parabls—The  Forgeries  qf  Ireland— BnitaOons  qf  Shakespeare. 

860 

Inttrmpteb  Stnttntts, 

The  Judge  and  the  Criminal— ""^ Free  from  Ouile"—Poor  Mary  "  Oonjined"^ 
Erskine's  '" Subscription'*— A  SaOtfadory  Note-'' LUtle  Eel"— Going  to 
Wor—The  Poet  Assisted;  the  Sun  and  the  Fishes— Giving  him  the  ''lie"^ 
Be  Quincsy  and  the  Fiend— Wit  in  the  House  <if  Commons    xtT 


COMTKNT8.  Zlll 


tdp  Verse. 

Aneimi  Btik>  Vsrm  Addrmloqmsm  SOmbeiJ^London  b^&n  tht  Bulora- 
ikm^Seko  Song  dy  AtUti$tm—A  Dutek  Pa$9uUuide—The  Gotpd  Echo— 
Kbko  <md  the  Lover^Drnm  Sw\fV$  venes  on  Women—Buonaparte  and  the 
Xeho-Fhtai  Ytrm^Wh^  FObn,  the  PubUsker,  was  ehot^BanarkabU 
EtkM»—A  Fatai  Ooitfttt^on  BxtraonUnary  faeU  in  AeowUee— Hearing 
AS^Qjf, » 

fajjles. 

Aceto  drftnded:  their  uee  and  value— Utertiee  for  (he  innd—AneUnt  Per- 
piexUie^-^'  The  Uar''-'' PuxtUd  to  Death''— A  Freneh  rebut-SapUeon 
Buionaparte'e  Cypher— A  i^ueer4ooking  Prodamatkm—A  cwtlow  Puale  for 
the  Lawyere—Sir  leaae  Newton'e  JSiddle—Oowper'e  JHddU— Canning' e 
BkUOe—A  Prite  Eiugma—Qtdncif'e  CompaHeon— Perplexing  Intermarriagee 
—Prophetie  DieOeh—The  -^yumber  of  the  Beaef'—GaOleo'e  Logograph— 
PsreUm  Biddta-The  Ckinam  Tea  Song-Death  and  L^fe-The  Bebue-- 
WhalUUr— The  Book  cf  BiddUe-Biehop  WiSbaforce'e  Blddle—Curioei- 
tUeqr  Chi^^'^'^3eeretWriiing-BemarkaUeCrn>togr(q)he S90 

C^e  $rB8(m  SB^. 

Wkif  Cfermans  Bat  SoMer-Kraut—Why  PianneyivankL  was  SetOed— Whence  the 
Buguenole  derived  thdr  name— How  Monarchs  Die— Origin  of  the  name  <f 
Boelon-Ooneendng  Weathereoets-OutHng  qf  wia  a  ShiBing-Why  Oar- 
dimde  hate  art  rtd^The  BoaUBetf  cfEngktndr-A  SeneiUe  Quad^Who 
wattheJIretCfenaemanr-SoluiionqfaJyggler'eJIfysterv 810 

SStai^er-SRisbom. 

SheridanU  BMpning  Calendar-Sir  Humphrey  Davy's  Weather  Omens- 
Jenner's  ''Signs  of  the  Weather"-''  The  Shepherd's  Calendar  "-Predic- 
tions from  Birds,  Beasts,  and  Insects— drdes  round  the  Sun  and  Moon— 
i^wOntad-iime  Prophedes-TheEvU  Days  qr  every  Month 817 

•.  ».  anb  9.  S. 

Tne^Oan  and  the  Orsgorian  Calendars— How  Ccesar  arranged  the  Calendar— 
The  Julian  Tear—Ooing  faster  than  the  Sun— Pope  Gregory's  EffOrU— 
Origin  qf  the  New  Style— ''Poor  Job's  Abnanao"—The  Loss  of  Eleven 
Days-Bow  the  matter  was  EJcpUnned aSK 


XIV  CONTENTS. 

Pttmrria  Stt|[mca. 

The  Books  0/ the  Old  Testament— Ths  Books  qf  the  New— Verified  hOpe  to 
Memory— Names  qf  Shakespeare'' s  Plays— List  of  English  SooerOgns- 
Names  of  the  Presidents— T lie  Decalogue  in  verse— Short  Metrical  Gram- 
mar—Nftmder  qf  days  in  each  Month— Bow  Quakers  Bemember 827 

©rigin  of  ff^ngs  ^familiar. 

iHikf  yoiur  P'sand  Q^s—AU  Foots  Day— The  First  Playing  Cards— ''Sub 
Rosa  "— "  Over  the  Left "— "  Kicking  the  Bucket  ''—The  Bumper— A  Boyal 
Saying— Story  of  Joe  Dun,  the  BaUiff—The  First  Humbug— Pasquinade— 
The  First  Bottled  Ale- The  Gardener  and  Vie  Potatoes- TarHng  and 
FeatheHng—The  Stockings  qf  Former  Time— The  Order  qfthe  Garter— 
Drinking  Healths- A  Feaiher  in  his  Cap— The  Word  '' Book''— Nine  Tail- 
ors and  One  Manr-''  Viz  "—Signature  qf  the  Cross— The  Turkish  Crescent— 
The  Post-paid  Envelopes  of  the  nth  Century-Who  first  sang  the ''Old 
Hundredth  f"  Who  ujrote  the  "Marseillaise  Hymn  f"— Thrilling  Story 
of  the  French  BevolutUm—The  Origin  of  "  Yankee  Doodle"— Story  (tf 
Lucy  LockeU  and  Kitty  Fisher— How  Dutchmen  sing  "  Yankee  Doodle"— 
How  the  American  Flag  was  chosen—  Who  was  Brother  Jonathan  t  What 
is  known  of  "  UndeSam/  "—The  Dollar  Mark  [$] ;  what  does  it  mean  f— 
Bows  and  Arrows  in  the  Olden  Time— All  about  Guns— The  first  Insurance 
Company—The  Banks  qf  three  Centuries  ago— The  Invention  of  Bells— 
Who  first  said  "Boo!"— Who  made  the  flrd  Clock— The  Watches <^  the 
Olden  Time— AU  about  the  Invention  of  Printing— The  first  Cock-fights- 
Meaning  of  the  word  "  Turncoat"— Who  Invented  Lucifer  Matches f— 
When  was  the  Flag  qf  England  first  unfurled— Why  are  literary  ladies 
called  "Blue  StocHngs  f"— Origin  of  the  word  " Skedaddle  "—How  Fools- 
cap Paper  got  its  name— The  First  Forged  Bank-NoU—Who  made  the  first 
Piano  Forte?"— The  first  Doctors-The  first  Thanksgiving  Proclamation- 
First  Prayer  in  Congress-  The  first  Eeporfers- Origin  of  the  word  "  News" 
—The  Earliest  Newspapers—  Who  sent  the  first  Tdegrajihic  Message. ...    88: 

^oi^ang  ^tb  Snbcr  iht  Suit. 

First  idea  qfthe  Magnetic  Telegraph— Telegraph  btfore  Morse— Telegraph  a 
Century  Ago— Who  made  the  first  Steam  Engine f-What  Matian  de 
rOrme  saw  in  the  Mad-house— What  the  Marquis  of  Worceafer  Did- 
BicheOeu's  Mistake- Wonderful  Invention  of  James  Watt-The first  Qar^ 


CONTENTS.  Xr 

Steamer— FuUonan^I  the  Sfeam  Sh^e—The  Jtrtt  BaOoonAteitukm-^Whial 
Franklin  said  about  the  Baby—An  Inventor^s  MMakt^Diteover^qf  the  Clr- 
culaiionq^the  Blood—  What  is  ^AnouthsHa  t  '^^Bow  ths  Mrti  Anodynes  wers 
made— How  AdasnCs  "  BXb  **  %Bas  taken  from  him— All  about  the  Boomerang— 
Who  IHsoouered  the  Centre  <if  Gravity  f— The  first  BiJIe— Table-moving 
and  Spirit-rapping  in  Ancient  Times- What  is  ""  Ausadtatianf^^—The 
Slsreoscope— Ancient  Prediction  of  the  Discovery  of  America 875 

tritimp^s  of  Ingtnmtg: 

How  the  Planet  Nejitune  was  Ditcovertd-Le  Verrier^s  Wonderful  Calculation— 
The  Story  of  a  poor  PhyHcian—An  Astronomer  at  Home- How  LescarbauU 
became  Fa*nous—The  Discovery  of  the  Planet  Vulcan— Ingenious  Strategem 
of  Columbus— How  an  Eclipse  teas  made  Us^ul— Story  of  King  John  and 
the  Abbot— A  Picture  of  the  Olden  Time— Clever  Reply  to  Three  Puzding 
questions— The  Father  AbbU  ill  a  Fix 886 

S^e  (dfancits  of  J^Hd. 

The  Wounds  of  JuSius  Oasar—Some  Curious  Old  Bills— '''' Mending  the  Ten  Com- 
mandments''''—Screwing  a  Horn  on  the  Devil- Glueing  a  bit  on  his  Tail— 
Sepairing  the  Virgin  Mary  btfore  and  behind— Making  a  New  Cliild—  Why 
Bishops  and  Parsons  have  no  Souls— The  Story  of  a  Curious  Conversion- 
Singular  PraverqfLord  Ashley— A  Moonshine  Story  of  Sir  Waller  Scott- 
Do  Lawyers  tell  the  Truth  f -Patrick  Henry* s  Little  Chapd—The  True 
Form  of  the  Cross— How  Poets  and  Painters  hoveled  us  astray— Curious 
Coincidences— How  a  Bird  was  Shot  with  a  Stick— How  a  Musket-shotin  the 
Lungs  saved  a  Man's  life— Mysterious  Tin  Box  foundin  a  Shark's  Stomach— 
A  Curious  Card  Trick— Which  was  the  right  Elizabeth  Smith  f— How  Mrs. 
Stephens'' 8  Patients  were  Cured— How  a  GirTs  Good  Memory  Caught  a  Thi^ 
-Choosing  a  Motto  for  a  Sunrdial— Strange  Story  of  a  Murdered  Man— The 
Chick  in  the  Egg— Innate  Appetite— The  Indian  and  the  Tame  Snake—  Why 
do  AlUgators  Swallow  Stones  f— Curious  Anecdote  about  Sheejj— Celebrated 
Journeys  on  Horseback— A  Horse  that  went  to  topofSL  Peters''  at  Rome— A 
Wondstful  Lock—  Wonders  Of  Manufacturing— How  Itvn  can  be  made  More 
Predous  than  Gold— The  Spaniard  and  his  Emeralds— How  a  Cat  was  sold 
for  Six  Hundred  Dollars— Another  Cat  sold  for  a  Pound  qf  Gold—  The  amount 
of  Gold  in  the  Wotid- Amount  of  Treasure  collected  by  David— How  much 
Odd  was  found  in  Califomia—What  toas brought  from  Australia— The 
Wealth  (^  Ancient  Romans—  Wins  at  Two  MUlUm  dollars  a  Bottle,  or  $272  per 
drop— Who  is  permitted  to  drink  it— Monster  Beer  Casks,  and  who  made 


XVI  CONTENTS. 

then^—Olgantie  Wine-tunt  cU  HeUUibergand  Konigstdn^A  Beer-vat  in 
which  TiDO  Hundred  People  Dined— Difference  between  ike  English  Poets- 
Perils  of  PreaxUy— Children  who  toere  too  Knowing— What  became  of  146 
EngUshmen  who  were  confined  in  the  Black  Hole— Bono  the  Finns  make 
Barometers  of  Stone— Singular  Bitterness  qf  Strichnia—Somethitig  about  Salt 
—Curious  Change  of  Taste— The  Children  of  Israel  anned  with  Guns- 
Simeon  with  a  pair  of  ''^  Si)ecs  " —Eve  in  ahandfomeFiouncedDress—St. 
Peter  and  the  Tobacco  Pipe— Abraham  shooting  Mac  with  a  Blunderbuss— 
The  Maniage  of  Christ  ivith  St.  Caiheritie- Cigar-lighters  at  the  Last 
Supper— Shooting  Ducks  with  a  Oun  in  the  Garden  of  Eden—  Wonderful 
Specimens  of  Minute  Mechanism— Homer  in  a  Xutshdl—  The  Bible  in  a 
Walnut— Squcuing  the  Cirde— Mathematical  Prodigies— Story  of  a  Wonder- 
ful Boy—Babbage's  Calculating  Machine— Extraordinary  Feats  of  Memory— 
A  Bishop's  Heroism— Silent  Compliment 406 

S^e  Jantxea  of  Jatt.-coNTiNUED. 

The  Exact  Dimensions  of  Heaven— The  coH  of  Solomon's  Temple— The  Mystic 
Numbers  "  Seven  "  and  "  Three  "—  Curiam  jx)wer  of  Number  Nine— Size  of 
Noah's  Ark  and  t/teOreht  Eastern- About  Colors:  their  Immense  Variety— 
Vast  AS7Vlites,  and  what  they  are— Fate  of  America's  Discoverers-Facts 
about  the  Ptesidents— Value  of  Queen  Victoria's  Jewels— An  Army  of 
Women— The  Star  in  the  East-Betijamin  Franklin's  Court  Dress— Extraor- 
dinary instances  of  Longevity— Do  Americans  Uve  long  f— A  nmn  who  lived 
more  than  200  years— *^*  Quack-quack"  and  '•'' Bow-wow " —A  Marriage  Vow 
qf  the  Olden  Tifiie-"^  Buxum  in  Bedde  and  at  the  Borde  "—  What  came  in  a 
drecan  to  Herschel— Singular  Facts  about  Sleep—  Curious  Chinese  Torture— Do 
Fishes  ever  Sleep  f- How  a  Bird  Grasps  his  Perch  when  Asleep— How  to  gain 
Seven  Years  and  a  half  of  Life— Effects  of  Opium  and  Indian  Hem}}— Confes- 
sion of  an  English  Opium- Eater— Strange  Effectsof  Fear— The  Thief  and  the 
Feathers— The  Poisoned  Coachman— How  a  Man  Died  of  Nothing -What 
Chas.  BeU  did  to  the  Monkey- A  Man  with  Two  Faces— Thrilling  Story  qf  a 
*^Broken  heart  "—No  Comfort  in  bieing  Beheaded— A  Man  tchoSiioke  after  his 
Head  was  cut  off— A  Man  who  Lived  after  Sensation  uhm  Destroyed—  Comical 
Antipathies— Afraid  of  Boiled  Lobsters— A  Fish  and  a  Fever— Why  Joseph 
Scaliger  couldn't  Drink  Milk— The  Man  who  Ban  away  from  a  Cat- 
About  the  Cock  that  Frightened  Ccesar—The  Two  Bivthers  with  One  Set  of 
feelings— How  Dennis  Hendrick  won  his  Strange  Bet— Walking  Blindfolded 
—How  to  Tell  the  Time  by  Cats'  Eyes—Hoio  a  Young  Woman  was  Cured 
by  a  Bing—  The  Story  told  by  a  Skull- A  Bomantlc  High  way  Bobber, .    436 


CONTENTS.  XVn 

Tike  Oqffin  on  the  Table— Queer  Mode  qf  Enjoying  OneaOf—A  Bem^Jid  Indian 
Cuslom—  Why  the  PeopU  qf  Carazan  Murder  their  Gueeie— Danger  qf  Being 
Handecme—Hou)  an  EM  Spirit  toae  Frightened  Away—BerfsteaJa  from  a 
lAoe  Cow—  CSompUmenis  Pcdd  to  a  Bear—How  Noeee  art  Made— How  lAone  are 
Caught  by  the  Tail— A  Picture  qfHigh  lAfe  Four  Centuriee  Ago—  Why  Haire 
were  put  in  Ancient  Seals— Fining  People  for  not  Getting  Married^ A 
Curioue  Matrimonial  Advertitement 4T7 

Odd  TUleefor  a  Sham  IMrary—Puns  €f  Tom  Hood  — The  Jeeta  <tf  merode^— 
Curioue  Letter  (^SothechilcTe— Some  Singularly  Short  Letters— A  Dieappoint" 
ed  Looer^^"  The  Happiest  Dog  AHve ''— What  Happened  Between  Abemethy 
and  the  Lady— Witty  Sayings  qf  TaHeyrand—Why  Rochester's  Poem  was 
Beet— How  the  Emperor  Nicholas  was  '''' Sold^''— Difference  Between  "  Old 
Harry''''  and  *'  (Hd  yict''— Comical  Story  of  a  very  Mean  Man— Instances  of 
Attdadous  Boasting— Chas.  Mathews  and  the  Silver  Spoon— How  a  King 
Vpsei  his  Insider-Curious  Story  of  Some  BsHcs—What  ''  Topsy's''  Other 
Name  Was— Minding  their  P*s  and  Q's^Practical  Jokes  qf  a  Sussian  Jester. 

483 

jflKB^es  of  ^partte. 

Curran  and  Sir  Boyle  Soehe— Witty  Reply  of  a  F%shu>oman—Cobden  and  the 
American  Lady— Witty  Suggestion  qf  Napoleon— Making  '^  Game**  of  a 
Lady— The  Road  that  no  Peddler  ever  Traveled— ''A  Puppy  in  his 
Boots/"— A  Quaker'' s  Queer  Suggestion— What  the  Girl  said  to  Curran— A 
Man  who  had  ** never  been  Weaned*''— Ready  Wit  of  Theodore  Hook— 
*^  Chaff  "  between  Barrow  and  Rochester— A  Windy  M.  P.— A  Clergyman 
known  by  his''  Walk**— A  Man  who  ''had  a  Right  to  Speak**— The  "  Weak 
Brother**  and  Tobacco  Plpe»—Beecher  Lecturing  for  F-A-M-E— Admiral 
Ksppd  and  the  He-  Goat—  Thackeray  and  the  Beggar-  Woman—  What  Paddy 
soAd  about  "Ayther  and  Nay ther**— Scribe  and  the  French  Millionaire- 
Voltaire  and  HaUer^Why  Paddy  "Loved  her  Still**— Bacon  and  Hogg— 
"  A  Most  Excellent  Judge**— Thackeray  Snubbed— Christian  Cannibalism^ 
How  a  Barrister*s  Eloquence  was  Silenced 496 

Masculine  and  Feminine  Virtues  and  Vices-  Character  qf  the  Happy  Woman— 
What  Mrs,  Jameson  said  about  Women— Old  Ballad  in  Praise  qf  Women— 


XVUl  CONTENTS. 

Th4  Two  Sexes  Compared— WluU  John  Randolph  said  in  Praise  (tfUabri- 
fnony—W\fe;  Mistress;  or  Ladyf^-St.  Leon's  ToaH  to  his  Mother. ...    BOl 

Tha  CaUph  <f  Bagdad—Shrewd  Decision  qf  a  Moslem  Judge-A  QuesHonqf 
ZHnner^How  the  Money  was  Divided— The  Wisdom  <^Ali—The  ProphMVi 
Judgment :  Wisdom  and  WeaWir^Mohammedan  Logic—  The  f^)oUsh  Young 
Man  who  Fell  in  Love— Queer  Case  of  Conseguential  Damages— Sad  Blunder 
qf  Omar— A  Ferplexing  Turkish  WiU— The  Dervis^s  Device 608 

(HxuxftR  from  ^erstan  ^otir^. 

JSatih  an  lUusion-Heavm  an  Echo  qf  Earthr-A  Moral  Atmosphere— Fortune 
and  Worth— Brokm  Hearts— To  a  Generous  Man— Beauty's  Prerogative- 
Proud  Humiaty—FoUy  for  Oneself— An  ImpossiMlUy— Sober  Drunken- 
ness-A  Wine  Drinker's  Metaphors— The  Verses  qf  Mirtsa  Schaffy—The 
Uhappredaiive  World-The  CaHph  and  Satan— Curious  Dodge  qf  the 
^^evU 511 

epigrams. 

An  Epigram  on  Epigrams— Midas  and  Modem  Statesmen-''  Come  Oentle 
Sleep''— A  Man  who  Wrote  Long  Epitaphs— T?ie  Fool  and  the  Poet— 
"Dam  VivlmuB  VivamuB "— Z)r.  Johnson  and  MoBy  Ashton—A  Know- 
Nothing— Epigram  on  "  Our  Bed"— On  a  Late  Repentance— A' Pale  Lady 
with  a  Sed-Nosed  Husband— Snoujfiakes  on  a  Lady's  Breast— To  John 
Milton^  Wesley  on  Butler— Ridiculous  Compliment  to  Pope-Athol  Brass— 
What  is  Eternity— Stolen  Sermons— Comical  Advice  to  an  Author^  A  Frugal 
Queen— Man  With  a  Thick  Skull— 3ass  Prue  and  the  Kiss-A  Ready- 
Made  Angel— The  Lover  and  the  Looking- Glass— A  Capricious  Friend— A 
Man  who  Toid  "  Fibs  "—Unlucky  End  of  a  Scorpion— The  Lawyer  and  the 
Novd—A  Woman's  Will— Wellington's  Big  Nose— The  Miser  and  his 
Money— On  Bad  Singing— Old  Nick  and  the  Fiddle— Foot-man  versofi  Toe- 
man—"Hot  Com"— Bonnets  qf  Straw— An  ''Original  Sin"  Man— On 
Writing  Verses— Prudent  Simpa<Aty—A  Friend  in  Distress— Hog  t.  Bacon— 
A  Warm  Reception- Taking  Medical  Adviee—D^nition  qf  a  Dentist— Dr. 
Goodenough's  Sermon— What  Might  Have  Been— A  Reflection— The  Woman 
in  the  Case— How  Lawyers  are  " Keen"— Dux  and  Drakes— The  Parson's 
Eyes— "He  Didn't  Mean  Her"— Affinity  Betu^een  Gold  and  Love— The  Crier 
who  Could  not  Cry— The  Parson  and  the  Butcher— A  Hard  Case  qf  Strikes- 
Coats  qf  "Utile— The  Beaux   upon  the   Quiver— On  Burning  Widows— 


CONTENTS.  ZIZ 

LtarOng  ^pettkm  ty  Heart— A  GoUm  Web^-Tke  Jawbomt  if  m  Am- 
HMking  on  her  Head— Marriage  i  la  mode— (}wkli>o  ^|if»—iraMDi,  pro 
aitdam—AhitndaneeqfFOob—Tke  Worid—'^*-  Derminer  Sans  Ofer^''SeeiMg 
JknUe -14 

Impromjrins. 

J>r.  Young  and  hU  Eee-How  Ben  Joneon  Paid  kU  BiU-What  MdciUe  taid 
to  QttMii  EUtabeth-The  ^^Angd**  in  the  Few— How  Andreio  Homer  teas 
Cut  vp—What  Hastings  Wrote  <f  Burke— Impromptu  qf  Dr.  Johnson— 
Burksque  <f  (Xd  BaOads—  What  was  **  liunning  in  a  Ladfs  Head  **— Im- 
provised Bhfmee—LUbe  taUo  Judas— How  the  Devil  got  his  Due— The  Writ- 
ingoH  the  Window-'' I  Thought  eo  Yesterday^'-What  U  Written  on  the 
Oaieeof  HeU—Bums^  '^  Oraeeb^fOrs  Meal'' 6S8 

l^cfrRdurg  S^mhtg. 

JuBeaaui  ond  tke  Loeenges—Brougham^s  Rhyme  Jbr  Morris— The  Ereneh 
^^MeulatorU  ^taph—What  is  a  Monogomphe— i?Ay}yv<ybr  Months  Chim- 
ney^ Liquid^  Carpet^  Window^  Garden^  Porringer^  Orange^  Lemon^  Pilgrim^ 
Widow ^  Timhuetoo^  Niagara,  Maehonochle—Bhyme  to  Oottingen—The 
iMgoldeby  Legends— Punches  Funny  Bhymes—CTuipin's  Rhyme  to  Brimble- 
eomh— Butler's  Bhyme  to  Philosopher— A  Rhyme  to  Germany— Hoodie 
Noetunud  Sketdi 631 

fiBlenimts. 

A  strategic  Looe-Letier—Loee-Letter  in  Invisible  Ink^Seeret  Invitation  Con- 
esaled  in  a  Love-Ldter—Maeaulay^s  Esiay  to  Mary  C.  Stanhope— Love- 
Verses  of  Robert  Bums— Teutonic  AMteration— Singular  Letter  in  Three 
Columns— Love- Letter  Written  in  Blood— A  Valentine  in  Many  Languages— 
Prac^eal  Joke  on  a  Colored  Man— Unpublished  Verses  ftf  Thomas  Moore— 
An  Egyptian  Serenade— Petition  qf  Sixteen  Maids  against  the  Widows  of 
South  CaroUna—Vhludty  Petition  to  Madame  de  Maintenon 544 

Soimtts. 

How  the  Fourteen  Lines  leert  Written— Sonnet  on  a  Fashionable  Church— Onthe 
Proxy  Saint— About  a  Nose— On  Dyspepeiar-Humility—Ave  Maria  /. . .    551 

t,oviatvKdg  tA  Senst  its  Somtb. 

Ar^dOale  ImUatkm  of  Inarticulate  Sounds— ExampU  from  Pope— Milton's 
.     **Lyctdas"^Fyom  Dyer's  ''Rulne  <f  Rome''-Bnitations  qf  Time  and 


XX  CONTENTS. 

Motionr-''  VAUe9ro''-'Pqpe'8  '" Homer^'-DrydeiCB  '' Lvcretiu8''—MlUon'a 
'''^  11  P8nsero90*^^Fine  EjumvfUt  ftotn  VirffU—JmitatioM  of  Difficulty  and 
JBcue 6M 

Jamiliar  (^notations  from  Unfamiliar  SonxttB. 

**  No  Cross^  no  Grown^'*^^*'  Corporations  have  no  SouW—^^  ChUdrtn  of  a  Larger 
Orowih  "— "  Qmtistency  a  Jewel "— "  Cleanlineee  next  to  Godliness  "— "fl6'» 
a  Brick'"— *'  When  at  Bome^  do  as  the  Romans''''—''''  Taking  Time  by  the 
Forelock''—''  What  wiU  Mrs.  Orundy  Sayf'—''  Though  Lost  to  Sight,  to 
Memory  Dear"—''  Conspicuous  by  its  Absence  "—"  Do  as  I  Say^  not  as  I 
Do*'— "  Honesty  the  Best  PoUey"—" Facts  aiv  Stubborn  Things"— ^' Com- 
parisonsare  Odious  "— "  Dark  as  Pitch  "— **  Every  Tubon  its  own  Bottom'''- 
Two  Pages  qf  Examples^  Interesting^  Amusing,  and  Instructive 566 

A^^^t^H^'i^ '  ^ittratnre. 

Epitaphs  of  Eminent  Men— Appropriate  and  Bare  Inscriptions— FranJdin's 
Epitaph  on  Hifnseif— Touching  Memorials  qf  Children— Historical  and 
Biographical  Epitaphs— Self- Wtitten  Insaiptions— Advertising  Notices- 
Unique  and  Ludicrous  Epitaphs— Puns  in  the  Churchyard— Puzzling  In- 
scriptions-Parallels Without  a  Parallel— Bathos-  Transcendental  Epitaph— 
AcrostUxU  InscriptUna— Indian,  African,  HibeniUm,  Greek  EsAtaphs— 
Patchioork  Cfvaracter  on  a  Tombstone— The  Printer's  Epitaph— S})ecitnens 
cf  Exceedingly  Brief  Epitaphs— Highly  Laudatory  Inscriptions— A  Chemical 
Epitaph— On  an  Architect—  On  an  Orator- On  a  Watchmaker— On  a  Miserly 
Money-Lender— On  a  Tailor— On  a  Dancing  Master— On  an  Infidel— On 
Voltaire— On  Hume— On  Tom  Pains— "  Earth  to  Earth"— Byrvn's  In- 
scription on  his  Dog 564 

Inscriptions. 

dd  English  Tavern  SignrBoards— Curious  Origin  of  Absurd  Signs—"  The 
Magpie  and  Crown"—"  The  Hen  and  the  Sazor"—"  The  Swan^ith-two- 
Necks"— Singular  Statement  (tf  Sir  Joseph  Banks—"  The  Goat  and  Comr 
passes"— The  "Signs"  of  Puritan  Times— A  Curious  " Reformation" - 
"The  Cat  and  the  Fiddle"-" Satan  and  the  Bag  of  Nails" -Ancimi 
Signs  m  Pompeii— The  Four  Awls  and  the  Grave  Morris— The  "  Queer 
Door,"  and  the  "Pig  and  Whistle" -Heraldic  Signs  of  the  MiddU  Ages— 
"  I  have  a  Cunen  Fox,  Ac,"— Versified  Inscriptions— Cooper  and  his  "Zwd 
Glasses  "-How  a  Sign  Cost  a  Man  his  Life— An  Inscription  in  Four 
Columns— Beer- Jug  Inscriptions— Inscriptions  on  Window- Panes— Quaint 
Description  qfan  Inn  in  the  Olden  Time—Cwious  DucriptUms  on  BeUt— 


CONTENTS.  XXI 

Bc^Hdnff  and  AnoitUinff  BOU-^Tht  Cfrtat  Tom  qf  Oatford—AmuHng  Old 
Fly-Ltqf  liucripUoM—Sun-Dial  InteripHaM—Memorial  Venea—FrandurM 
SUiffular  Diioovery^Gclden  Moito»—''  Potiu  ''from  Wedding  Ringt. .    (U5 

IParallel  ^passages. 

Mita^OM  and  PtagiarioM  qf  Author*— Curiout  OcAnddencu—EiBampIsi  from 
Toung^  Ckmgrwe^  JBtoir,  and  Shakespeare— Jmitationt  qf  Otway^  Oray, 
Milton^  and  Rogere—The  Blindnssaqf  Homer  and  MUton— What  ffume  eaid 
qf  the  CUrffjf—ffow  Praise  Becomes  Satire—Parallel  Passages  from  the 
EhgUsh  Poets—Singvlar  Examples  from  Shakespeare— Shakespeare^ $  Ae- 
gtuHntanee  with  the  Latin  Poets— Thoughts  Repeated  from  Age  to  Age-" 
Which  teas  the  True  Original  f— Historical  Similitudes—  What  Radbod  said 
with  his  Legs  in  the  Water— Why  Wulf  the  Goth,  toouldn't  be  Baptised— 
Why  an  Indian  Rtfussd  to  go  to  Heaven— Curious  Cfioice  <fa  Woman- 
Last  Words  qf  Cardinal  Wolsey— Death  qfSir  James  Hamilton— Sohmon^s 
Judgment  Rqteated—Why  two  Women  Pulled  a  ChUd^s  Lege— How  Na- 
poleon Decided  Betioeen  two  Ladies— The  Hindoo  Legend  of  the  Weasel  ar)d 
the  Babe— The  Fait/^ful  Dog:  a  Welsh  Ballad— Singular  Murder  qf  a 
Clever  Apprentice— BaUads  and  Legends— Terrible  Story  qf  an  old  Mid- 
vf\fe—What  a  Clergyman  did  at  Midnight— How  Genevra  was  Buried 
Alive— The  Ghoet  which  Appeared  to  Antonio— Strange  Story  of  a  Ring^ 
BeeUh  Prophedee—What  toas  done  btfore  three  Battles— How  an  Armyqf 
Mice  Devoured  Bishop  Hatto 640 

^rotolgpM. 

Ths  Oldest  Proverb  on  Record— Curious  Wish  of  an  Old  Lady— Cinderella* e 
Sapper— How  an  Eagle  Stole  a  Shoe,  and  a  King  Chose  a  W\fe—Mre. 
Caudle's  Curtain  Lectures— **  The  Charge  of  the  Light  Brigade^'— Dr, 
Faustus  and  the  Devil—''''  Blown  up  "  Cushions—  What  the  ''  Poor  Cat  V  the 
Adage''  Did— The  Lady  with  Two  Cork  Legs— The  Pope'e  Bull  against  the 
Comet— Lincoln  ^''Stoapping  Horses''— Wooden  Nutmege— Trade  Unions 
Two  Centuries  Ago— Consequential  Damages— The  Babies  that  Never  were 
Bom— The  Original  Shylock—Druidical  Eiecommunication—Fall  of  Na- 
poleon L— Lanark  and  Lodore—The  Song  qf  the  BeU—TurgoCs  Eulogistic 
Epigraph  on  Franklin— Origin  ^  the  Declaratkm  qf  Independence- Ths 
Know-Nothings— The  first  Conception  of  the  Pilgrim's  Progress— Did  Defoe 
Write  Robinson  Crusoe  f—  TaUeyrantTs  Famous  Saying  .•  W  hence  f—Mietake 
wbout  Drinking  out  qf  Skulls— Great  Literary  Plagiarism— Origin  of  Old 
MaOads—The  Story  cf  the  Wandering  Jew 699 


XXll  CONTENTS. 


Old  Books  Vfith  Odd  TUUb-'' Shot  Aimed  at  the  DevWs  HeadquarUrs''— 
"  Ontm^  qf  Contort  for  the  Chickens  qf  the  Ooventtnt''—''Bsrffs  cf  Charity 
Layed  by  the  Chickens  qf  the  Covenant^  and  Boiled  toith  the  Water  of  Divine 
Love''— '' High-heeled  Shoes  for  Jhoorfs  in  Holiness''— '' Hooks  and  Eyes 
for  Believers'  Breeches"— '''•  Sixpenny  worth  of  Divine  Spirit"— "•  Spiritual 
Mustard  Pot"—''Tobaeeo  Battered  and  Pipes  Shattered" -''News  fivm 
Heaven"— The  Most  Curious  Book  in  the  World— A  Book  that  was  never 
Written  or  Printed^  but  which  can  be  Read— The  Stiver  Book  at  Vpsal— 
What  is  a  BVbliognostef—What  a  BibRoffraphe  f—What  a  Bibliomane  f— 
What  a  Bibliophile  and  a  Bibliotajihef 790 

Itittranaira. 

The  Mystery  qf  the  "  Letters  of  Junius"— Who  Wrote  Them  f— What  Canning 
and  Maottulay  Thought— A  Well-kept  Secret— Original  MS.  qf  Gray's 
Elegy— The  Omitted  Stamas— Imitations— How  Pope  Corrected  hie  Manu- 
script— Importance  qf  Punctuation ;  Comical  Errors— ''  A  Pigeon  Making 
Bread"— How  many  Nails  on  a  Lady's  Hand— A  Comical  Petition  in 
Church— The  Soldier  who  Died  for  want  qf  a  Stop— Indian  Heraldry— 
Anachronisms  qf  Shakespeare— King  Lear's  Spectacles— The  Heroines  of 
Shaketpeare— Shakespeare's  life  and  Sonnets  Compared— Was  He  LaxMt— 
The  Age  qf  Hamlet— Was  He  Beatty  Mad  f— Additional  Verses  to  ''Home, 
Sweet  Home ' '— The  Falsities  of  History—  Two  Views  of  Napoleon—  Clarence 
and  the  Butt  of  Malmsey— True  Character  of  Richard  III— The  Name 
"America"  a  Fraud— Lexington  and  the  "First  Blood  Shed"— Eye- 
witnesses in  Error— Curious  Story  qf  Sir  Walter  Raleigh— The  D^fflerence 
bettpeen  Wit  and  Hwnor—A  Rhyming  Newspaper— Ruskin's  D^enee  cf 
Book-Lovers— Letters  and  their  Endings— Shrewd  Words  qfLord  Bacon, 

798 

Aooounl  qf  eoms  Famous  linguists— A  Man  who  Knew  0ns  Hundred  and  Eleven 
Language»—A  Cardinal  of  Many  Tongues— EOhu  Burrit,  the  Learned 
Blacksmith— literary  Oddities- Curious  Habits  qf  Celebrated  Authors— How 
they  have  Written  their  Books— Racine's  Adventure  toith  the  Workmen- 
Luther  in  his  Study— Calvin  ScrtbbUng  in  Bed— Rousseau,  Le  Sage,  and 
Byron  at  Work— Fontaine,  Pascal,  Fenelon,  and  De  Quincey— Whence 
Bacon  Sought  Inspiration—  Culture  and  Saaifice—  The  Sorrows  and  THals 
of  Great  Men— Sharon  Turner  and  the  Printers— A  Stingy  Old  Scribbler— 


CONTENTS.  ZZUl 

Drydm  and  Bit  PuiUther— Jacob  T<mtoiC%  SasealUy;  how  He  Tried  to 
(»Bai  the  Poet T56 


personal  Skttt^es  anb  ^ntcboles. 

AMCdoU  qf  Owrge  Washington— What  Lafayette  told  to  the  King  <^  France— 
PeeuRaritiee  qf  the  Name  Napoleon— How  NapdUon  Bemembertd  MUton  at 
the  Dreacfftd  Battle  qf  AvsterHtz—The  Emperor''s  Personal  Appearance— 
Hit  Opinionof  Suicide— Benjamin  FrankUn'a  Frugai  W\fe— Major  AndrS 
and  the  "  Cow-Chaee'^-An  Englieh  View  qf  Andri  and  Arnold— How  the 
Attronomer  Boyal  Found  cm  Old  Woman^s  Clothes— The  Boywhoset  Fire  to 
an  Em^y  Bottle— Curious  Views  qf  Martin  Luther— The  Hero  qf  the 
Btformatiar^—Cariyle's  TranskUion  qf  Luther'' s  Hymn— Curious  Account  qf 
Queen  Elimbeth—What  She  Said  to  the  Troublesome  Priest— What  was  the 
Beat  Color  cf  Her  Hair f— Was  Shakespeare  a  Christian^— Personal  De- 
scription qf  Oliver  Cromwell— How  Pope's  SkuU  was  Stolenr-What  Became 
qf  YfUXBffeU  Ashes—The  Folly  qf  Two  Astrologers— AneedoUs  qf  ToOey- 
rond—PorsotCs  PuzOss 788 

Piftorical  SllfnnorHttba. 

Ths  First  PSIood  oftheSevdution—The  •*  TeorParty''  at  Boston— Tea-Burning 
at  AnnapoRs—The  First  American  Sh\paqfWar—How  Quinn  Borrowed 
Twenty  Pounds  qf  Shahespear^—Biaboliaa  Proposition  qf  Cotton  Mather-^ 
A  Bod  in  Pickle  for  WiXRam  Penn—How  he  Escaped- An  American 
Monardiy— Origin  qf  the  '*  Star-Spangled  Banner''— Origin  qfthe  French 
IH- Color— How  the  Newspo^pers  Changed  their  Tune— Story  <f  Eugenie's 
FRght  from  France-Bise  and  FaU  qfNapdeon  ///— "L'Kmpire  c^eet  la 

PWx"— J5ar«rw»V  Idea  of  Marie  Antoinette— BluOier's  Insanity The 

Secret  qf  Queen  Isabella's  Daughter— Was  Mary  Magdalene  a  Sinner  f— The 
Husband  qf  Mother  Goose^  and  what  He  Did— History  and  Fiction:  which 
truer— Verdicts  which  Posterity  haw  Beversed— Great  Events  from  Little 
Causes— Why  Queen  Eleanor  Quarreled  loith  her  Husband— Story  qf  Queen 
Anne's  Gloves— How  the  Files  He^)ed  Forward  the  Declaration  qf  Inde- 
pendence—The Disoooery  qf  America—Story  qf  Annie  Laurie-^  Who  was 
Bobin  Adair  f— Was  Joan  of  Arc  BeaUy  Burnt  f-^The  Mystery  qf  Amy 
BobsarVs  Death— Anecdotes  (f  William  TeU—Who  Was  He f-'' Society" 
in  the  Time  qf  Louis  XIV— How  Gromtoea  Tricked  his  Chaplain— The  Last 
Night  qfthe  Girondists— Eligabeth,  Essex,  and  the  Bing 789 


ZZIV  CONTENTS. 

Mudi,  Meaning  in  lAUle  Spaee^Coleridge  and  the  BeasU^'' Booeet''  that  Govern 
ths  World— ''I  Cannot  FiddU''—'' Like  a  Potato''— Ttu  Voweie  in 
Order— Bahac'e  Instance  qf  Self -Respect—  Whom  do  Mankind  Fay  Beetf— 
Oomieal  Instance  qf  Wrong  Emphasis— *'yi\e  ]a  JAoriV— Motto  for  all 
Seasons— Curious  Grace  btfore  Meat 8S8 

iTife  anb  ^Jtai^. 

What  is  DeaOir-Bishop  Heber'e  "  Voyage  qf  Life''— Curious  Foem  (tf  Dr, 
Horns— ^'^  The  Sound  qf  IAfe"—H'ugh  Peters'  Legacy  to  Ms  Daughter- 
FranJdin's  Moral  Code— Bow  to  Divide  Time— Living  L\fe  over  Agair^— 
Shyming  D^finUions—What  ie  Earth  f— Curious  EepOee— Rhyming  Char- 
ter qf  WUUam  the  Conquerer—Puxding  Question  for  the  Lawyers— What 
R(Mi  Joshua  Told  the  Emperor— Dying  Words  <^  Distinguished  Persons- 
Last  Prayer  qf  Mary,  Queen  qf  Scots— Extraordinary  Case  qf  Trance- 
Curious  Question  itbout  Laxarus— Preservaiioni^  Dead  Bodies— Corpse  qf  a 
Lady  Preserved  for  MghLy  Tears— Bodies  <^  EngUsh  Kings  Undecayed  for 
many  Centuries— Three  Roman  Soldiers  Preserved  ''Plump  and  Fresh" 
for  Fifteen  Hundred  Tears— Bodies  Converted  into  Fat— About  Mummies— 
Wonderful  Discooery  in  an  Etruscan  Tomb— The  Reign  <f  Terror— What 
Became  qfthe  Bodies  qf  the  French  Kings-Jewish  Tombs  in  the  Valley  qf 
mnnom—A  Whimsical  Will— The  Tripod  qfUfe-How  Many  Kinds  qf 
Death  there  Are— Curious  Irish  ElpUaph—SigniJicanoe  qfthe  Flenr  de  lis— 
Death  qf  the  First-Bom— Jean  Ingdow's  "  Story  qf  Long  Ago  **— "  This  is 
not  Tour  Rest"— Causes  qf  IB  Success  in  l^e— Futurity— LongfOow  on 
"  The  Heart"— An  Evening  Prayer— Beauty  Thought— Hfe's  Parting^ 
Destiny— Sympathy— ''After;"  Death's  Final  Omquest—*' There  is  no 
Death"-EUthana8ia 8M 


^lpf)abetical  ^fiims. 


UPOGRAMMATA  AND  PANGRAMMATA. 

|N  No.  59  of  the  Spectator,  AddinoD, 
'descanting  on  the  different  species  of 
f&l^  irit,  observes,  ''The  first  I  shall  pro- 
duce are  the  Lipogrammatists,  or  letter 
droppers  of  antiqaity,  that  would  take  an 
^  except!  QU;  without  any  reason,  against  some 
'  particular  letter  in  the  alphabet,  so  as  not  to 
I  admtt  it  once  in.  a  whole  poem.  One  Try- 
pbio^iorua  was  a  great  master  in  this  kind  of 
*■  writing.  He  composed  an  Odyssey,  or  Epic 
,  Pt>em,  on  the  adventures  of  Ulysses,  con- 
P  siating  of  four-and-twenty-books,  haying  en- 
]  tirely  banished  the  letter  A  from  his  first 
book^  which  was  called  Alphay  (as  lucus  a 
fum  lucendo,)  because  there  was  not  an  alpha 
in  it  His  second  book  was  inscribed  Beta,  for  the  same  reason. 
In  short,  the  poet  excluded  the  whole  four-and-twenty  letters 
in  their  turns,  and  showed  them  that  he  could  do  his  business 
without  them.  It  must  have  been  very  pleasant  to  have  seen 
this  Poet  avoiding  the  reprobate  letter  as  much  as  another 
would  a  &lse  quantity,  and  making  his  escape  from  it,  through 
the  different  Greek  dialects,  when  he  was  presented  with  it  in 
any  particular  syllable ;  for  the  most  apt  and  elegant  word  in 
O  3  24 


26  ALPHABETICAL   WUIMS. 

the  whole  lAOgaage  was  rejected,  like  a  diamond  witb  a  flaw  io 
it^  if  it  appeared  blemished  with  the  wrong  letter." 

In  Nx  63,  Addiaon  hw  again  introduced  Tiyphiodoms,  in 
his  Vision  of  the  Region  of  False  Wit,  where  he  sees  the  phan- 
tom of  this  poet  pursued  through  the  intricacies  of  a  dance  by 
four-and- twenty  persons,  (representatives  of  the  alphabet,)  who 
are  unable  to  overtake  him. 

Addison  should,  however,  have  mentioned  that  Tryphiodoms 
is  kept  in  countenance  by  no  less  an  authority  than  l^ndar, 
who,  according  to  Athenaeus,  wrote  an  ode  from  which  the 
letter  n'^ma  was  carefully  excluded. 

This  caprice  of  Tryphiodoms  has  not  been  without  its  imi- 
tators. Peter  de  Riga,  a  canon  of  Rheims,  wrote  a  summary 
of  the  Bible  in  twenty-three  sections,  and  throughout  each  sec- 
tion omitted,  successively,  some  particular  letter. 

Gordianus  Fulgentius,  who  wrote  <<  De  JStatibus  Mundi  et 
Hominis,''  has  styled  his  book  a  wonderful  work,  chiefly,  it 
may  be  presumed,  from  a  similar  reason ;  as  from  the  chapter 
on  Adam  he  has  excluded  the  letter  A ;  from  that  on  Abel, 
the  B ;  from  that  on  Cain,  the  0 ;  and  so  on  through  twenty- 
three  chapters. 

Gregorio  Lett!  presented  a  discourse  to  the  Academy  of  Ha- 
morists  at  Rome,  throughout  which  he  had  purposely  omitted 
the  letter  R,  and  he  entitled  it  the  exiled  R.  A  friend  having 
requested  a  copy  as  a  literary  curiosity,  (for  so  he  considered 
this  idle  performance,)  Letti,  to  show  it  was  not  so  difficult  a 
matter,  replied  by  a  copious  answer  of  seven  pages,  in  which 
he  observed  the  same  severe  ostracism  against  the  letter  R. 

Du  Chat,  in  the  <^  Ducatiana,''  says  *^  there  are  five  novels  in 
prose,  of  Lope  de  Vega,  similarly  avoiding  the  vowels;  the 
first  without  A,  the  second  without  E,  the  third  without  I,  the 
fourth  without  0,  and  the  fifth  without  U." 

The  Orientalists  are  not  without  this  literary  folly.  A  Per- 
sian poet  read  to  the  celebrated  Jami  a  ghazel  of  his  own  com* 
position,  which  Jami  did  not  like;  but  the  writer  replied  it  was, 
notwithstanding,  a  very  curious  sonnet,  for  the  letter  AliffwtM 


ALPHABCTTCAL  WHIMS.  27 

Dot  to  be  found  in  any  of  the  words !  Jami  nrcastioallj  an* 
Bwered,  <'Yon  oan  do  a  better  thing  jet;  take  away  oA  fiU 
letten  from  OTery  word  yon  have  written." 

This  alphabetical  whim  has  aasomed  other  shapes,  sometimes 
taking  the  form  of  a  fondness  for  a  psrticalar  letter.  In  the 
Ecloga  de  Caluis  of  Hugbald  the  Monk,  all  the  words  begin 
with  a  C.  In  the  Nngas  Yenales  there  is  a  Poem  by  Petma 
Plaoentins,  entitled  Pngna  Porooram,  in  which  cTery  word  be- 
gins with  a  P.  In  another  performance  in  the  same  work,  en- 
titled Oanum  cum  catHs  certamenj  in  which  "apt  alliteration's 
artfiil  aid"  is  similarly  summoned,  every  word  begins  with  a  C. 

Lord  North,  one  of  the  finest  gentlemen  in  the  Gonrt  of 
James  I.,  has  written  a  set  of  sonnets,  each  of  which  begins 
with  a  snccessive  letter  of  the  alphabet  The  Earl  of  Rivers, 
in  the  reign  of  Edward  lY.,  translated  the  Moral  Proverbs  of 
Christiana  of  I^,  a  poem  of  about  two  hundred  lines,  almost 
all  the  words  of  which  he  contrived  to  conclude  with  the  letter  E. 

The  Pangrammatists  contrive  to  crowd  all  the  letters  of  the 
alphabet  into  every  single  verse.  The  prophet  Esra  may  be 
r^aided  as  the  father  of  them,  as  may  be  seen  by  reference  to 
oh.  vii.,  V.  21,  of  his  Book  of  Prophecies.  Ausonius,  a  Ro- 
man poet  of  the  fourth  century,-  whose  verses  are  characterised 
by  great  mechanical  ingenuity,  is  fullest  of  these  fancies. 

The  following  sentence  of  only  48  letters,  contains  every 
letter  of  the  alphabet: — John  P.  Brady ^  g^ive  me  a  black  loa/- 
ntU  box  of  quite  a  small  size. 

The  stanza  subjoined  is  a  specimen  of  both  lipogrammatic 
and  pangrammatic  ingenuity,  containing  every  letter  of  the 
alphabet  except  e.  Those  who  remember  that  e  is  the  most 
indispensable  letter,  being  much  more  frequently  used  than 
any  other,*  will  perceive  the  difficulty  of  such  composition. 

*  The  niatiye  proportioni  of  the  letters,  in  the  formation  of  words,  have 
bees  pretty  accnrately  determinedj  as  follows : — 

A  86        B  120        I   80        M  SO        Q    5        TJ  84        T  20 
B  10        F    25        J     4        N  80        R  02       ¥12         Z    2 
C  80       O    17        K    8        0    80       S  80        W  20 
D44        H64        L40        P17        TOO        X4 


28  ALPHABETICAL   WHIMS. 

A  joTial  awain  may  raok  his  brain, 

And  tax  his  faDoy's  mighty 
To  qnls  in  vaini  for  His  most  plidn. 

That  what  I  say  is  right 

The  FcUe  o/Nassan  affords  another  example,  each  stanza 
containing  the  entire  alphabet  except  e,  and  composed,  as  the 
writer  says,  with  ectse  without  e's. 


Bold  Nassau  quits  his  < 
A  hazy  mountain-grot  to  scan ; 
Climbs  jaggy  rooks  to  spy  bis  way, 
Doth  tax  his  sight,  but  far  doth  stray, 

Not  work  of  man,  nor  sport  of  child. 
Finds  Nassau  in  that  mazy  wild ; 
Lax  grow  his  joints,  limbs  toil  in  vain — 
Poor  wight !  why  didst  thou  quit  that  plain? 

Vainly  for  succor  Nassau  calls. 
Enow,  Zillah,  that  thy  Nassau  falls: 
But  prowling  wolf  and  fox  may  joy 
To  quarry  on  thy  Arab  boy. 

LoBD  Holland,  after  reading  the  five  Spanish  novels 
already  alluded  to,  in  1824,  composed  the  following  curious 
example,  in  which  all  the  Yowels  except  E  are  omitted : — 

bve's  legend. 

M«n  ware  neyer  perfect ;  yet  the  three  brethren  Veres  were  oyer  esteemed, 
respected,  reyered,  eyen  when  the  rest,  whether  the  select  few,  whether  the 
mere  herd,  were  lell  neglected. 

The  eldest's  yessels  seek  the  deep,  stem  the  element,  get  pence ;  the  keen 
Peter,  when  free,  wedded  Hester  Green, — the  slender,  stem,  seyere,  erect 
Hester  Green.  The  next,  deyer  Ned,  less  dependent,  wedded  sweet  Ellen 
Heber.  Stephen,  ere  he  met  the  gentle  Eye,  neyer  felt  tenderness :  he  kept 
kennels,  bred  steeds,  rested  where  the  deer  fed,  went  where  green  trees, 
where  fresh  breezes,  greeted  sleep.  There  he  met  the  meek,  the  gentle  Eye : 
she  tended  her  sheep,  she  eyer  neglected  self:  she  neyer  heeded  pelf,  yet 
she  heeded  the  shepherds  eyen  less.  Neyertheless,  her  cheek  reddened 
when  she  met  Stephen;  yet  decent  resenre,  meek  respect,  tempered  her 
speech,  eyen  when  she  shewed  tenderness.  Stephen  felt  the  sweet  effect : 
he  felt  he  erred  when  he  fled  the  sex,  yet  felt  he  defenceless  when  Eye 
seemed  tender.  She,  he  reflects,  neyer  deseryed  neglect;  she  neyer  yented 
spleen ;  he  esteems  her  gentleness,  her  endless  deserts ;  he  reyerenoes  her 
steps ;  he  greets  her  : — 


ALPHABETICAL  WHIMS.  29 

"T«U  me  whenM  theie  meek,  th«M  gentlo  sheep,— whanoe  Uie  yet 
meeker,  the  gentler  ihepherdeu  t" 

**Well  bred,  we  were  eke  better  fed,  ere  we  went  where  reckless  men 
seek  fleeces.  There  we  were  fleeced.  Need  then  rendered  me  shepherdess, 
need  renders  me  sempstress.  See  me  tend  the  sheep;  see  me  sew  the 
wretched  shreds.  Bye's  need  preserves  the  steers,  preserres  the  sheep; 
Bre's  needle  mends  her  dresses,  hems  her  sheets:  Btc  feeds  the  geese; 
Ere  preserves  the  cheese." 

Her  speech  melted  Stephen,  jet  he  nevertheless  esteems,  reveres  her.  He 
bent  the  knee  where  her  feet  pressed  the  green ;  he  blessed,  he  begged,  he 
pressed  her. 

"  Sweet,  sweet  Eve,  let  me  wed  thee ;  be  led  where  Hester  Green,  where 
Ellen  Heber,  where  the  brethren  Yere  dweU.  Free  oheer  greets  thee  there; 
Ellen's  glees  sweeten  the  refreshment;  there  severer  Hester's  decent  reserve 
oheeks  heedless  jests.    Be  led  there,  sweet  Eve !" 

**  Never  1  we  well  remember  the  Seer.  We  went  where  he  dwells — ^we 
entered  the  eell — we  begged  the  decree, — 

'Where,  whenever,  when,  'twere  well 
Eve  be  wedded?  Eld  Seer,  telL' 

"He  rendered  the  decree;  see  here  the  sentence  decreed!"  Then  she 
presented  Stephen  the  Seer's  decree.    The  verses  were  these : — 

"  Sre  the  green  reed  he  red, 
Sweet  Eve,  be  never  ved  / 
Ere  be  green  the  red  cheek, 
Never  toed  thee,  Eve  meek," 

The  terms  perplexed  Stephen,  yet  he  jeered  the  terms ;  he  resented  the 
senseless  credence,  "  Seers  never  err."  Then  he  repented,  knelt,  wheedled, 
wept.  Eve  sees  Stephen  kneel ;  she  relents,  yet  firets  when  she  remembers 
the  Seer's  decree.    Her  dress  redeems  her.    These  were  the  events : — 

Her  well-kempt  tresses  fell ;  sedges,  reeds,  bedecked  them.  The  reeds 
fell,  the  edges  met  her  cheeks;  her  oheeks  bled.  She  presses  the  green 
sedge  where  her  cheek  bleeds.  Red  then  bedewed  the  green  reed,  the 
green  reed  then  speckled  her  red  cheek.  The  red  cheek  seems  green,  the 
green  reed  seems  red.  These  were  e'en  the  terms  the  Eld  Seer  decreed 
Stephen  Yere. 

HbRB  nNDSTB  THX  LxoKiri). 


ALPHABETIGAL  ADYEBTISEMSNT. 

TO  WIDOWEKS  AND  SINGLE  GENTLEMEN.— 
WANTED  by  a  lady,  a  SITUATION  to  superintend  the 
boosehold  and  preside  at  table.  She  is  Agreeable,  Becoming, 
Careful,  Desirable,  English,  Facetious,  Generous,  Honest,  In- 

3* 


30  ALPHABETICAL   WHIMS. 

dustrious,  Judicions,  Keen,  Lively,  Merry,  Natty,  Obedient, 
Philoaopliic,  Quiet,  Regnlar,  Sociable,  Tasteful,  Useful,  Viva- 
oious,  Womanish,  Xantippish,  Youthful,  Zealous,  &c.  Address 
X.  Y.  Z.,  Simmond's  Library,  Edgeware-road. — London  Time$j 
1842. 

JAGOBIT£  TOAST. 

The  following  remarkable  toast  is  ascribed  to  Lord  Duff,  and 
was  presented  on  some  public  occasion  in  the  year  1745. 
A.  B.  C.     .     .     .     A  Blessed  Change. 
D.  E.  F.     .     .     .     Down  Every  Foreigner, 
G.  n.  J.     .     .     .     God  Help  James. 
K.  L.  M.    .     .     .     Keep  Lord  Marr. 
N.  0.  P.     .     .     .     Noble  Ormond  Preserve. 
Q.  E.  S.     .     .     .     Quickly  Resolve  Stewart 
T.  U.  V.  W.  .     .     Truss  Up  Vile  Whigs. 
X.  Y.  Z.     .     .     .     'Xert  Your  Zeal. 

THE  THBEE  INITIALS. 

The  following  couplet,  in  which  initials  are  so  aptly  used, 
was  written  on  the  alleged  intended  marriage  of  the  Duke  of 
Wellington,  at  a  very  advanced  age,  with  Miss  Angelina  Bur- 
dett  Goutts,  the  rich  heiress : — 

The  Dake  must  in  his  seoond  ehildhood  be» 
Since  in  hia  doting  age  he  tnrni  to  A.  B.  0. 

ENIGMAS. 

The  letter  E  is  thus  enigmatically  described  :— 

The  beginning  of  eternity, 

The  end  of  time  and  spaoe. 
The  beginning  of  erery  end. 

The  end  of  every  plaoe. 

The  letter  M  is  concealed  in  the  following  Latin  enigma  by 

an  unknown  author  of  very  ancient  date : 

Bgo  snm  prinoipium  mundi  et  fin  if  Moulomm: 
Ego  sum  trinos  et  unoa^  et  tamen  non  lam  Dens. 


ALPHABETICAL  WHIMS.  gl 

THE  LETTER   H. 

The  celebrated  enigma  on  the  letter  H,  commonly  attributed 
to  Lord  Byron,*  is  well  known.  The  following  amusing  petition 
is  addressed  by  this  letter  to  the  inhabitants  of  Kidderminster^ 
England — ProUsting : 

Whenaa  by  yoa  I  h*ye  been  driven 

From  'ooBe,  from  'ome,  from  'ope,  from  'eaTen, 

And  plaeed  by  your  most  learned  aom&ty 

In  HezilOj  Hangniah,  and  Hanziety; 

Nay,  charged  without  one  just  pretenoe. 

With  Harroganoe  and  Himpndenc^— 

I  here  demand  ftdl  reetitation. 

And  beg  yon'U  mend  yoor  Helocntion. 

Rowland  Hill,  when  at  college,  was  remarkable  for  the  fre- 
quent wittiness  of  his  observations.  In  a  conversation  on  the 
powers  of  the  letter  H,  in  which  it  was  contended  that  it  was  no 
letter,  but  a  simple  aspiration  or  breathing,  Rowland  took  the 
opposite  side  of  the  question,  and  insisted  on  its  being,  to  all 
intents  and  purposes,  a  letter;  and  concluded  by  observing  that, 
if  it  were  not,  it  was  a  very  serious  affair  to  him,  as  it  would 
occasion  his  being  ill  all  the  days  of  his  life. 

When  Kohl,  the  traveller,  visited  the  Church  of  St  Alex- 
ander Nevskoi,  at  St.  Petersburg,  his  guide,  pointing  to  a  cor- 
ner of  the  building,  said,  '^  There  lies  a  Cannibal."  Attracted 
to  the  tomb  by  this  strange  announcement,  Kohl  found  from 
the  inscription  that  it  was  the  Russian  general  Hannibal ;  but 
as  the  Russians  have  no  H,'|'  they  change  the  letter  into  K; 
and  hence  the  strange  misnomer  given  to  the  deceased  warrior. 

*  Now  known  to  have  been  written  by  Miss  Catherine  Fanihawe. 

t  The  Sandwich  Island  alphabet  has  twelve  lotters ;  the  Burmese,  nineteen ; 
the  Italian,  twenty ;  the  Bengalesa^  twenty-one ;  the  Hebrew,  Byriae,  Cbaldec^ 
and  fiamaritaay  twenty-two  each;  the  French,  twenty-throe;  the  Greek, 
twenty-fonr;  the  Latin,  twenty-flre;  the  German,  Ihitch,and  English,  twenty- 
fix  each;  the  Spanish  and  Selaronie,  twenty-seren  each;  the  Arabic, 
twenty-eight;  the  Persian  and  Coptic,  thirty-two;  the  Qeorgiao,  thirty-fiye; 
the  Armenian,  thirty-eight;  the  Russian,  forty-one ;  the  Muscovite,  furty- 
three;  the  Sanscrit  and  Japanese,  fifty;  the  Ethiopio  and  Tartarian,  two  hun- 
dred and  two  each. 


32  ALPHABETICAL  WHIMS. 

A  city  knight,  who  was  unable  to  aspirate  the  H,  on  being 
deputed  to  give  King  William  III.  an  address  of  weloome,  ut- 
tered the  following  equivocal  compliment : — 

<<  Future  ages,  recording  your  Majesty's  exploits,  will  pro- 
nounce you  to  have  been  a  Niero  !** 

Mrs.  Crawford  says  she  wrote  one  line  in  her  song,  KcUkUen 
Mavoumeen,  for  the  express  purpose  of  confounding  the  cock- 
ney warblers,  who  sing  it  thus : — 

Tbe  'orn  of  the  'unter  Ib  '«ard  on  the  HL 

Moore  bas  laid  the  same  trap  in  the  Woodpecker  : — 
A  'eart  that  \b  'amble  might  'ope  for  it  'ere. 

And  the  elephant  confounds  tbem  the  other  way : — 
A  helephant  beasily  heats  at  his  hease, 
Himder  hambrageona  hnmbrella  trees. 

ON  THI  MABRIAOE  OF  A  LADT  TO  A  GENTLEMAN  NAMED  GSS. 

Sore,  madam,  by  yoar  choice  a  taste  we  see  : 

What's  good  or  great  or  grand  without  a  G  ? 

A  godly  glow  mast  sare  on  G  depend, 

Or  oddly  low  oar  righteoas  thoughts  must  end : 

The  want  of  G  all  gratitude  effaces ; 

And  without  G,  the  Graoea  would  run  raoea. 

ON    SENDING    A    TAIR   OP   GLOVES. 

From  thiji  small  token  take  the  loiter  G, 
And  then  'tis  luve,  and  that  I  send  to  thee. 

UNIYOOALIO  VERSES. 

Am — THB    BU8S0-TURKISH    WAR. 

Wan  harm  all  ranks,  all  arts,  all  erafts  appall : 
At  Mars'  harsh  blast,  aroh,  rampart,  altar,  fall ! 
Ah !  hard  as  adamant,  a  braggart  Csar 
Arms  Tassal  swarms,  and  fans  a  fatal  war! 
Rampant  at  that  bad  call,  a  Vandal  band 
Harass,  and  harm,  and  ransack  Wallaeh-laad. 
A  Tartar  phalanx  Balkan's  scarp  hath  pasty 
And  Allah's  standard  faUs,  alas!  at  last. 


ALPHABSTIOAL   WHIM8.  33 

'  E. — TBI  FALL  or  BTB. 

BvOy  Bden'i  Empress,  needs  defended  be ; 
The  Serpent  greets  her  when  she  seeks  the  tree. 
Berene,  she  sees  the  speckled  tempter  creep ; 
Gentle  he  seems, — perrersest  schemer  deep,-» 
Yet  endless  pretexts  ever  fresh  prefers, 
Perrerts  her  senses,  revels  when  she  errs, 
Sneers  when  she  weeps,  regrets,  repents  she  fell ; 
Then,  deep  revenged,  reseeks  the  nether  hell  I 

I.-^rHB  ▲PPBOACfl   or  BTBHUia. 

Idling,  I  sit  in  this  mUd  twiUght  dim, 
Whilst  birds,  in  wild,  swift  vigils,  eireling  sUa. 
Light  winds  in  sighing  sink,  till,  rising  bright, 
Kighf  s  Virgin  Pilgrim  swims  in  vivid  Ught  I 

0«— IBCOirTBOTBBTIBLB  FACTS. 

No  monk  too  good  to  rob,  or  eog,  or  plot. 
No  fool  so  gross  to  bolt  Sootoh  coUops  hot 
From  Doigon  tops  no  Oronoko  rolls. 
Logwood,  not  Lotos,  floods  Oporto's  bowls. 
Troops  of  old  tosspots  oft,  to  sot,  consort 
Box  tops,  not  bottoms,  school-boys  flog  for  sport 
No  oool  monsoons  blow  soft  on  Oxford  dons. 
Orthodox,  jog-trot,  book-worm  Solomons ! 
Bold  Ostrogoths,  of  ghosts  no  horror  show. 
On  xiondon  shop-fronts  no  hop-blossoms  grow. 
To  crooks  of  gold  no  dodo  looks  for  food. 
On  soft  cloth  footstools  no  old  fox  doth  brood. 
Long  storm-tost  sloops  forlorn,  work  on  to  port 
Rooks  do  not  roost  on  spoons,  nor  woodcocks  snorty 
Nor  dog  on  snow-drop  or  on  coltsfoot  rolls, 
Nor  common  frogs  concoct  long  protocols. 

IJ« — TBB  BAKB  8UBJBCT,   COBTIICUBD. 

Dull  humdrum  murmurs  lull,  but  hubbub  ctuns. 
Lucullus  snuffs  no  musk,  mundungus  shuns. 
Puss  purrs,  buds  burst,  bucks  butt,  luck  turns  up  trumps ; 
But  full  cups,  hurtful,  spur  up  unjust  thumps. 


A  young  English  lady,  on  obserring  a  gentleman's  lane  newly 
planted  with  lilacs,  made  this  neat  impromptu : — 
Let  lovely  lilacs  line  Lee's  lonely  lane. 


84  ALPHABETICAL   WUIM^. 

ALPHABETIOAL  ALLITERATION. 

THB  BIKflB   or  BBLORADB. 

An  Anitriaa  army,  awfully  arrayed. 

Boldly,  by  battery,  besieged  Belgrade ; 

Cossack  oommanders  cannonading  come — 

Dealing  destmction's  devastating  doom ; 

Brery  endeavor,  engineers  essay, 

For  fome,  for  fortune— fighting  furious  fhiy  :^ 

Generals  'gainst  generals  grapple— gracious  God ! 

How  honors  Heayen,  heroic  hardihood ! 

Infuriate, — ^indiscriminate  in  ill. 

Kindred  kill  kinsmen, — ^kinsmen  kindred  kill ! 

Labor  low  levels  loftiest  longest  linen — 

Men  march  'mid  mounds,  'mid  moles,  *mid  murderooa  minMS 

Now  noisy,  noxious,  noticed  nought 

Of  outward  obstacles  opposing  ought : 

Poor  patriots,  partly  purchased,  partly  pressed : 

Quite  quaking,  quickly  quarter,  quarter  quest, 

Season  returns,  religious  right  redounds, 

Suwarrow  stops  such  sanguinary  sounds. 

Truce  to  thee,  Turkey — triumph  to  thy  train ! 

Unjust,  unwise,  unmerciful  Ukraine ! 

Vanish  rain  victory,  vanish  victory  vain ! 

Why  wish  ye  warfare?    Wherefore  welcome  were 

Xerxes,  Ximenes,  Xanthus,  Xaviere  ? 

Tield  I  ye  youths !  ye  yeomen,  yield  your  yell  I 

Zeno's,  Zapater's,  Zoroaster's  zeal. 

And  all  attracting — arms  against  acts  appeaL 


TUB  BVHKBB  HILL  MOKUVKirT  CELBBBATIOV. 

Americans  arrayed  and  armed  attend ; 

Beside  battalions  bold,  bright  beauties  blend. 

Chieft,  olergy,  citixens  conglomerate, — 

Detesting  despots,— daring  deeds  debate; 

Each  eye  emblazoned  ensigns  entertain, — 

Flourishing  from  far, — ^fan  freedom's  flame. 

Guards  greeting  guards  grown  grey, — guest  greeting  guest. 

High-minded  heroes,  hither,  homeward,  haste. 

Ingenuous  juniors  join  in  jubilee. 

Kith  kenning  kin, — kind  knowing  kindred  key. 

Lo,  lengthened  lines  lend  Liberty  liege  love. 

Mixed  masses,  marshaled,  lionumentward  move. 


ALPHABETICAL    VVUl.MS.  35 

NotB  noble  naries  near, — no  noTel  notion,-^ 
Oft  ovr  oppresion  oTerawed  old  Ocean ; 
Presnmptiioas  prinoea,  pristine  patriots  paled, 
Qneens'  quarrel  questing  quotas,  quondam  quailed. 
Rebellion  roused,  reyolting  ramparts  rose. 
Stout  spirits,  smiting  senrile  soldiers,  strove 
Tbese  thrilling  themes,  to  thousands  truly  told. 
Usurpers'  unjust  usages  unfold. 
Vietorious  vassals,  rauntings  vainly  veiled. 
Where,  whilesince,  Webster,  warlike  Warren  wailed. 
'XeuM  'xpletives  'ztra-quecr  'xpressod. 
Yielding  Yankee  yeomen  sesL 


PRIirCB  CHARLBl   PROTBCTBD  BT   rLORA   HACDOBALD. 

All  ardent  aets  affright  an  Age  abased 

By  brutal  broils,  by  braggart  bravery  braeed. 

Craft's  cankered  courage  changed  Cullodeii's  cry ; 

''Deal  deep"  deposed  "deal  death"—"  decoy,"  "defy:" 

Enough.    Ere  envy  enters  England's  eyes. 

Fancy's  false  future  fades,  for  Fortune  flies. 

Gaunt,  gloomy,  guarded,  grappling  giant  griefs. 

Here,  hunted  hard,  his  harassed  heart  he  heaves ; 

In  impious  ire  incessant  ills  invests, 

Judging  Jove's  Jealous  Judgments,  Jaundiced  Jests  I 

Kneel,  kirUed  knight  I  keep  keener  kingcraft  known. 

Let  larger  lore  life's  levelling  lessons  loan : 

Maranden  must  meet  malefactors'  meeds; 

No  nation  noisy  non-conformists  needs. 

0  oracles  of  old !  our  orb  ordain 

Peace's  possession — Plenty's  palmy  plain ! 

Quiet  Quixotic  quests ;  quell  quarrelling ; 

Rebuke  red  riot's  resonant  rifle  ring. 

Slumber  seems  strangely  sweet  since  silence  smote 

The  threatening  thunders  throbbing  through  their  throat 

Usurper  I  under  uniform  unwont 

Vail  valor's  vaguest  venture,  Tainest  vaunt 

Well  wot  we  which  were  wise.    War's  wildflre  won 

Ximenes,  Xerxes,  Xavier,  Xenophon : 

Yet  you,  ye  yearning  youth,  your  young  years  yield 

Zuinglius'  sealot  zest — Zinsendorf  sion-sealed. 

OACOPHOROUi   COUPLBT  OB  CABDIBAL  WOLiBT. 

Begot  by  butchers,  but  by  bishops  bred. 
How  high  his  honor  holds  his  haughty  head  I 


;Mp  xLr^xZM.ii 


%j  iMr..,.a«c  •wuAm,  iMA-^ft  lAnai  Wan. 

r«n»  iMvl  Un9*9  'hmtfu  futkfalij, 

Jmtn  JMtf sieSj  jmC  iaiMtet'i 
KMrUk  K>— gfcatir— ,  kBightiy 
J>/Sf  Ii«(»r»4<V«  lifl^  iMtie  UMMnng  low; 
JM i4«e  vjfM^  MOitttwleg  ■■jiiHi  Misht 
9r<>  Mtaft  »>M«r  suben  5«ptaae'i  niskt. 
0]^  of  OzM  or  old  Ophif^B  ont 
VmU  fjrrble  p^rtt  priMMtie  pniplo  pow% — 
QuioOMSt  qaireriDif,  qmeklj,  qtwtntlj  qaoer, 
Ri«b,  rofy,  regal  nja  retplendcBt  rear ; 
Iftrsffgo  aboofciof  itr»men  ttreakiDg  itorry  Mm 
Trail  thoir  tHampbMifc  tmaef — trembling  U«a. 
VflMOflf  tttiboDored  Uria,— aodenieath 
Voilod,  raaqaif  bed— rainly  Tying— ranisbetb : 
Wild  WodoD,  warning,  watobfnl — wbiipera  wan 
Xaotbltto  XoTM,  Xeriefy  Xenopbon, 
Ytt  jioldlng  jMtomight  jnle's  yell  yawni 
Zeoitb's  lebrale  ilgsigf  lodiao  sonef. 

Pttloit  In  hi«  Morganie  Maggiore^  xziii.  47,  gives  the  following 
rotoarlublo  double  alliterations,  two  of  them  in  every  line  :«- 

Lft  tvfa  co$a  pure*  br§tta  e  hruUa, 
Vinta  d*l  wnto,  e  la  natta  •  la  nnUe, 
Stilla  If  «!«//«,  ch'a  tetto  era  tutta, 
Del  pant  ftpprna  ne  (<•««  to'  dotu ; 
7^r«ftTeaj9Mr«  e  quftlcbe /rana/ncMa, 
B  ffv^fia  e  tvtna  di  botto  una  6oM«  / 
J^o99ia  per  pMot  to««A«  prase  air««oa, 
Mft  11  /•Ifo  ftl/oira  alU/f*a«ca  tv/retca. 

In  the  imitation  of  Laura  Matilda,  in  the  Refected  Addresses 
ooQurs  thb  stania : — 

Pan  bebeld  Pfttroolna  dying, 

Moz  to  Niobe  was  turned ; 
From  Bttsiris  Baoobns  flying, 

8nw  his  Semele  laumed. 


▲LPHABETIOAL  WHIMS.  87 


vm.s*rAOB  VOB  a  book  or  bxtracts  tboh  habt  authobs. 

Aitonisbing  Anthology  from  Attraotire  Ai'thon. 

Broken  Bits  from  Balky  Brair" 

Choioe  Chnnks  from  Chancer  to  CL.^aing. 

Dainty  Bevioes  from  Birerse  Direotions. 

Bohoea  of  Eloquence  from  Eminent  Esiayieta. 

Fragrant  Flowers  from  Fields  of  Fanoy. 

Gems  of  Genins  Gloriously  Garnished. 

Handy  Helps  from  Head  and  Heart 

ninstrions  Intelleots  Intelligently  Interpreted. 

Jewels  of  Judgment  and  Jets  of  Jocularity. 

Kindlings  to  Keep  firom  the  King  to  the  Kitchen. 

Loosened  Leayes  from  Literary  Laurels. 

Magnificent  Morsels  from  Mighty  Minds. 

Numerous  Nuggets  from  Notable  Noodles. 

Oracular  Opinions  Officiously  Offered. 

Prodigious  Points  from  Powerftil  Pens. 

Quirks  and  Quibbles  from  Queer  Quarters. 

Rare  Remarks  Ridiculously  Repeated. 

Buggestiye  Squibs  from  Sundry  Sources. 

Tremendous  Thoughts  on  Thundering  Topics. 

Utterances  from  Uppermost  for  Use  and  Unction. 

Valuable  Views  in  Various  Voices. 

Wisps  of  Wit  in  a  Wilderness  of  Words. 

Xeellent  Xtraets  Xaotly  Xpressed. 

Yawnings  and  Yearnings  for  Youthful  Yankees. 

Zeal  and  Zest  from  Zoroaster  to  Zimmerman. 


OOMPLIMENTARY   CONSIDIBATIONS  CONCERNING   CHESS. 

Cherished  chess!  The  charms  of  thy  checkered  chambers  chain  me 
•hangeletsly.  Chaplains  hare  chanted  thy  charming  ohoiceness;  chief- 
tains have  changed  the  chariot  and  the  chase  for  the  chaster  chivalry  of  the 
•hess-board,  and  the  cheerier  charge  of  the  chess-knights.  Chaste-eyed 
Caissa  I  For  thee  are  the  chaplets  of  chainless  charity  and  the  chalice  of 
•hildlike  cheerfulness.  No  chilling  churl,  no  cheating  chafferer,  no  chatter- 
ing changeling,  no  chanting  charlatan  can  be  thy  champion ;  the  chival- 
rous,  the  charitable,  and  the  cheerful  are  the  chosen  ones  thou  oherishest. 
Chanee  cannot  change  thee:  from  the  cradle  of  childhood  to  the  charnel- 
house,  from  our  first  childish  chirpings  to  the  chills  of  the  church-yard, 
thou  art  our  cheery,  changeless  chieftainess.  Chastener  of  the  churlish, 
ehider  of  the  changeable,  cherisher  of  the  chagrined,  the  chapter  of  thy 
•hiliad  of  charms  should  be  chanted  in  cherubic  chimes  by  choicest  ohoris 
ten,  and  ohlselled  on  chaleedon  in  cherubic  chirography. 

4 


38  ALPUAB£T1CAL    WUIMS. 

Hood,  Id  dcscribiDg  the  sensatioDs  of  a  dramatbt  awaiting 
bis  debut,  thus  uses  the  letter  F  in  his  Ode  to  Perrj : — 

All  Fume  and  Fret, 
Fuss,  Fidget,  Fancj,  Ferer,  Funking,  Fright, 
Ferment,  Fault-fearing,  Faintnese — more  F'a  yet : 
Flashed,  Frigid,  Flurried,  Flinching,  Fitful,  Flat, 
Add  Famished,  Fuddled,  and  Fatigued  to  that ; 
Funeral,  Fate-Foreboding. 

The  repetition  of  the  same  letter  in  the  following  is  very  in* 
genious : — 

FELICITOUS   FLIGHT   OF  FANOT. 

"A  famouis  flsh-faotor  found  himself  father  of  five  flirting  femalef — 
Fanny,  Florenoe,  Fernanda,  Franoesca,  and  Fenella.  The  first  four  were 
flat-featured,  ill-favored,  forbidding-faoed,  freckled  frumps,  fretful,  flippant, 
foolish,  and  flaunting.  Fenella  was  a  fine-featured,  fresh,  fleet-footed  fi^ry, 
frank,  Aree,  and  full  of  fun.  The  fisher  failed,  and  was  forocd  by  fickle 
fortune  to  forego  his  footman,  forfeit  his  forefathers'  fine  fields,  and  find  a 
forlorn  farm-house  in  a  forsaken  forest  The  four  fretful  females,  fond  of 
figuring  at  feasts  in  feathers  and  fashionable  finery,  fumed  at  their  ftagitiTe 
fkther.  Forsaken  by  fulsome,  flattering  fortune-hunters,  who  followed  them 
when  first  they  flourished,  Fenella  fondled  her  father,  flavored  their  food, 
forgot  her  flattering  followers,  and  frolicked  in  a  frieze  without  flounoef. 
The  father,  finding  himself  forced  to  forage  in  foreign  parts  for  a  fortune^ 
found  ho  could  afford  a  faring  to  his  five  fondlings.  The  first  four  were  fain 
to  foster  their  frivolity  with  fine  frills  and  fans,  fit  to  finish  their  father's 
finances;  Fenella,  fearful  of  flooring  him,  formed  a  fancy  for  a  tdH  fresh 
flower.  Fate  favored  the  fish-factor  for  a  few  days,  when  he  fell  in  with  a 
fog ;  his  faithful  Filley's  footsteps  faltered,  and  food  failed.  He  found  him- 
self in  front  of  a  fortified  fortress.  Finding  it  forsaken,  and  feeling  himself 
feeble,  and  forlorn  with  fasting,  he  fed  on  the  fish,  flesh,  and  fowl  he  found, 
fricasseed,  and  when  full  fell  flat  on  the  floor.  Fresh  in  the  forenoon,  he 
forthwith  flew  to  the  fhiitful  fields,  and  not  forgetting  Fenella,  he  filched  a 
fair  flower;  when  a  foul,  frightful,  fiendish  figure  flashed  forth:  'Felonious 
fellow,  fingering  my  flowers,  I'll  finish  you !  Fly ;  say  farewell  to  your  fine 
felicitous  family,  and  face  me  in  a  fortnight!'  The  faint-hearted  fisher 
fumed  and  faltered,  and  fast  and  far  was  his  flight.  His  five  daughters 
flew  to  fall  at  his  feet  and  fervently  felicitate  him.  Frantically  and  fluently 
he  unfolded  bis  fate.  Fenella,  forthwith  fortified  by  filial  fondness,  followed 
her  father's  footsteps,  and  flung  her  faultless  form  at  the  foot  of  the  fright* 
ful  figure,  who  forgave  the  father,  and  fell  flat  on  his  face,  for  ho  had 
fervently  fallen  in  a  fiery  fit  of  love  for  the  fair  Fenella.  Ho  feasted  her 
till,  fascinated  by  his  faithfulness,  she  forgot  the  ferocity  of  his  face,  fonw 


ALPHABSTIOAL  WHIMS.  39 

aad  fefttnres,  and  frankly  and  fondlj  fixed  Friday,  fifth  of  February,  for 
the  affair  to  oome  offl  There  waa  festivity,  fragrance,  finery,  fireworks, 
frieasieed  frogs,  fritters,  fish,  flesh,  fowl,  and  frumentry,  frontignao,  flip, 
and  fare  fit  for  the  fastidious ;  fruit,  fuss,  flambeaux,  four  fat  fiddlers  and 
fifers;  and  the  frightful  form  of  the  fortunate  and  frumpish  fiend  fell  from 
htm,  and  he  fell  at  Fenella's  feet  a  fair-favored,  fine,  frank,  freeman  of  the 
forest    Behold  the  fruits  of  filial  affection. 

A   BEVY  OF   BELLES. 

The  following  lines  are  said  to  have  been  admirably  de- 
scriptive of  the  five  daughters  of  an  English  gentleman, 
formerij  of  Liverpool : — 

Minenra-Iike  majestic  Mary  moyes. 

Law,  Latin,  Liberty,  learned  Lnoy  loves. 

Elisa's  elegance  each  eye  espies. 

Serenely  silent  Susan's  smiles  surprise. 

From  fops,  fools,  flattery,  fairest  Fanny  flies. 

MOTIVES   TO   GRATITUDE. 

A  remarkable  example  of  the  old  fondness  for  antithesb 
and  alliteration  in  composition,  is  presented  in  the  following 
extract  from  one  of  Watts'  sermons : — 

The  last  great  help  to  thankfulness  is  to  compare  various  cironmstanoes 
and  things  together.  Compare,  then,  your  sorrows  with  you  sins;  com- 
pare your  mercies  with  your  merits ;  compare  your  comforts  with  your 
calamities ;  compare  your  own  troubles  with  the  troubles  of  others ;  com 
pare  your  sufferings  with  the  sufferings  of  Christ  Jesus,  your  Lord ;  com- 
pare the  pain  of  your  afflictions  with  the  profit  of  them ;  compare  your 
chastisements  on  earth  with  condemnation  in  hell ;  compare  the  present 
hardships  you  bear  with  the  happiness  yon  expect  hereafter,  and  try 
whether  all  these  will  not  awaken  thankfulness. 


ACROSTICS. 
The  acrostic,  though  an  old  and  favorite  form  of  verse,  in 
onr  own  language  has  been  almost  wholly  an  exercise  of  inge- 
nuity, and  has  been  considered  fit  only  for  trivial  subjects,  to 
be  classed  among  nugsR  literarise.  The  word  in  its  derivation 
includes  various  artificial  arrangements  of  lines,  and  many  fan- 
tastic conceits  have  been  indulged  in.  Generally  the  acrostic 
has  been  formed  of  the  first  letters  of  each  line ;  sometimes  of 
the  last ;  sometimes  of  both ;  sometimes  it  is  to  be  read  down- 


40  ALPHABETICAL  WHIMS. 

ward,  somedmen  npfwud.  An  iDgenkras  Tmriely  called  the 
Telestich,  is  that  m  which  the  letters  beginning  the  lines  spell 
a  word,  while  the  letters  ending  the  lines,  when  taken  together, 
fiyrm  a  word  of  an  opposite  meaning,  as  in  this  instance : — 

U  nite  and  anti«  are  the  SMoe — so  nj  70  U. 
N  ot  in  wedlock,  I  ween,  has  this  nnity  bee  N. 
I  n  thedrama  of  marriage  eaehwanderiDg^oii  T 
T  o  anew  face  would  flj — all  except  joa  and  I-^ 
E  aeh  seeking  to  alter  the  »peU  in  their  seen  E. 

In  these  lines,  on  the  death  of  Lord  Hatherton,  (1863),  the 
initial  and  final  letters  aie  doubled : — 

H  ard  was  his  final  fight  with  ghastly  Deat  h, 
H  e  brarely  yielded  his  expiring  breat  k, 
A  s  in  the  Senate  fighting  freedom's  pie  a, 
A  nd  boundless  in  his  wisdom  as  the  se  a. 
The  pablio  welfare  seeking  to  diree  t, 
T  he  weak  and  vndefended  to  protec  I. 
H  is  steady  coarse  in  noble  life  from  birt  h, 
H  as  shown  his  public  and  his  private  wort  k, 
E  Tincing  mind  both  lofty  and  sedat  e, 
E  ndowments  great  and  fitted  for  the  Stat  e, 
R  eoelring  high  and  low  with  open  doo  r, 
B  ich  in  his  bounty  to  the  nide  and  poo  r. 
T  he  crown  reposed  in  him  the  highest  tnis  l» 
T  o  show  the  wortd  that  he  was  wise  and  jus  L 
On  his  ancestral  banners  long  ag  o, 
0  nrs  willingly  relied,  and  will  do  s  o. 
N  or  yet  extinct  is  noble  Hatherton, 
N  ow  still  he  lires  in  gracious  Littleto  a. 

Although  the  &ncifnl  and  trifliDg  tricks  of  poetasters  have 
been  carried  to  excess,  and  acrostics  have  come  in  for  their 
share  of  satire,  the  origin  of  such  artificial  poetry  was  of  a 
higher  dignity.  When  written  documents,  were  yet  rare,  every 
artifice  was  employed  to  enforce  on  the  attention  or  fix  on  the 
memory  the  verses  sung  by  bards  or  teachers.  Alphabetic 
associations  formed  obvious  and  convenient  aids  for  this  pur- 
pose. In  the  Hebrew  Psalms  of  David,  and  in  other  parts  of 
Scripture,  striking  specimens  occur.  The  peculiarity  is  not 
retained  in  the  translations,  but  is  indicated  in  the  common 


ALPHABETICAL   WHIMS.  41 

Tersion  of  the  119th  Psalm  by  the  initial  letters  prefixed  to  its 
divisions.  The  Greek  Anthology  also  presents  examples  of 
acroBticSy  and  they  were  often  used  in  the  old  Latin  language. 
Cicero,  in  his  treatise  ''  De  Divinatione/'  has  this  remarkable 
passage : — ''The  verses  of  the  Sybils  (said  he)  are  distinguished 
by  that  arrangement  which  the  Greeks  call  Acrostic ;  where, 
from  the  first  letters  of  each  verse  in  order,  words  are  formed 
which  express  some  particular  meaning ;  as  b  the  case  with 
some  of  Ennius's  verses,  the  initial  letters  of  which  make 
'  which  Ennius  wrote  V  " 

Among  the  modem  examples  of  acrostic  writing,  the  most 
remarkable  may  be  found  in  the  works  of  Boccaccio.  It  is  a 
poem  of  fifty  cantos,  of  which  Guinguend  has  preserved  a  speci- 
men in  his  Literary  History  of  Italy. 

A  successful  attempt  has  recently  been  made  to  use  this  form 
of  voTse  for  conveying  useful  information  and  expressing  agree- 
able reflections,  in  a  volume  containing  a  series  of  acrostics  on 
eminent  names,  commencing  with  Homer,  and  descending 
chronologically  to  our  own  time.  The  alphabetic  necessity  of 
the  choice  of  words  and  epithets  has  not  hindered  the  writer 
from  giving  distinct  and  generally  correct  character  to  the  bio- 
graphical subjects,  as  may  be  seen  in  the  following  selections, 
which  are  as  remarkable  for  the  truth  and  discrimination  of  the 
descriptions  as  for  the  ingenuity  of  the  diction : 

dS'^ROK   dERBKRT. 

0  ooH  Country  Panooi  cheerfiil,  qnainty 

E  vor  in  thy  life  a  sainty 

O  'er  thy  memory  sweetly  rise 

R  are  old  Izaak's  eulogies/ 

G  IriDg  us,  in  life-drawn  hue, 

B  ach  loTed  feature  to  our  riew. 

H  oly  Herbert,  humble,  mild, 
E  'en  as  simple  as  a  child, 
R  eady  thy  bounty  to  dispense, 
B  earning  with  benerolcnce, 
B  Ter  blessing,  ever  blest, 
R  Mouing  the  most  distrest ; 
T  hy  «  Temple"  now  is  Hearen's  bright  rest. 
4* 


42  ALPHABETICAL   WHIMS. 

D  eep  rolls  on  dMp  in  th  j  oii^Mtic  Ium. 
B  ich  mntie  and  th«  stoteliest  March  eombine  { 
T  et,  who  that  hean  its  high  haimoBiona  strain 
D  earns  not  thy  genios  thou  didst  half  profane  f 
B  xhansting  thy  great  power  of  song  on  themea 
K  ot  worthy  of  its  strong,  effnlgent  h warns 

msTiiouis. 
B  are  Painter !  whose  oneqnaU'd  skill  eonld  tnee 
B  aeh  light  and  shadow  of  the  changeful  &ee; 
T  oong  "  Samnel's,"  now,  heaming  with  ykty, 
N  ow  the  proad  **  Banished  Lord's*  dark  misaiy, 
0  r  "Ugolino's"  ghastly  Tisage^  wild, 
L  ooking  stem  horror  on  each  starring  ehfld; 
D  slights  not  less  of  soeial  sort  were  thine, 
8  neh  as  with  Borke,  or  e'en  with  Johnson  shine. 


B  rllliaat  thy  genins  'mongst  a  brilliant  throng; 
U  nique  thy  eloquence  of  pen  and  tongae ; 
B  ome's  TuIIy  loftier  flights  could  scarce  command, 
K  indling  thy  soul  to  thoughts  that  matchless  stand 
B  Tor  sublime  and  beautiful  and  grand. 


H  ow  keen  tby  vision,  e'en  though  reft  of  sight ! 

U  sing  with  double  power  the  mind's  clear  light: 

B  ees,  and  their  hires,  thy  curious  ken  has  soanned. 

B  ach  cell,  with  geometric  wisdom  planned, 

B  loh  stores  of  honeyed  knowledge  thus  at  thy  oommand. 

CRABBI&. 

C  opyist  of  Nature— simply,  sternly  true, — 
B  eal  the  scenes  that  in  thy  page  we  rlew. 
"A  mid  the  huts  where  poor  men  He"  unknown, 
B  right  humor  or  deep  pathos  thou  hast  thrown. 
B  ard  of  the  <<  Borough"  and  the  "ViUage,"  see— 
B  'en  haughty  Byron  owns  he's  charm'd  by  then. 

WALTER  SCOTT. 

W  ondrous  Wisard  of  the  North, 
A  rmed  with  spells  of  potent  worth ! 
L  ike  to  that  greatest  Bard  of  ours 
T  he  mighty  magic  of  thy  powers : 
B  'en  thy  bright  fancy's  offspring  find 
B  esembUnce  to  his  myriad  mind. 


ALPHABETICAL  WHIMS.  43 

8  aoh  the  ereations  thftt  we  see — 

C  hancter,  nutDnen,  life  in  thee — 

0  f  Bootia'fl  deeds,  a  proud  display, 

T  he  glories  of  a  bygone  daj ; 

T  hjr  genius  foxemost  stands  in  all  her  long  array. 

WORDSWORTH. 

W  andering,  through  many  a  year,  'mongst  Cumbria's  hiUi^ 

0  'er  her  wild  fells,  sweet  vales,  and  sunny  lakes, 

R  ich  stores  of  thought  thy  musing  mind  distils, 

D  ay-dreams  of  poesy  thy  soul  awakes: — 

8  uoh  was  thy  life — a  poet's  life,  I  ween ; 

W  orshipper  thou  of  Nature !  every  scene 

0  f  beauty  stirred  thy  fancy's  deeper  mood, 

R  eflection  calmed  the  current  of  thy  blood : 

T  bus  in  the  wide  **  Excursion"  of  thy  mind, 

H  igh  thoughts  in  worcU  of  toorth  we  still  may  Had. 


I  n  easy,  natural,  graceful  charm  of  style, 

R  esembling  Ooldy's  "  Vicar," — ^free  from  guile : 

V  ein  of  rich  humor  through  thy  *'  Sketch-Book"  flowa. 
I  magination  her  bright  colors  shows. 

K  o  equal  hast  thou  'mongst  thy  brother  band, 
Q  eoial  thy  soul,  worthy  our  own  loved  land. 

MACRBADT. 

M  aster  Tragedian !  worthy  all  our  praise. 

A  otion  and  utterance  such  as  bygone  days 

C  ould  oftener  boasi,  were  thine.    Need  we  but  name 

R  oman  Virginius?  while  our  Shakspeare's  fame 

E  ver  'twas  thy  chief  joy  and  pride  to  nprear, 

A  nd  give  us  back  Macbeth,  Oihello,  Lear. 

D  elight  to  thousands  oft  thou  gav'st,  and  now 

Y  ears  of  calm  lettered  ease  'tia  thine  to  know. 

LOHGFILLOW. 

L  ays  like  thine  have  many  a  charm ; 

0  ft  thy  themes  the  heart  must  warm. 

N  ow  o'er  Slavery's  guilt  and  woes, 

Q  rief  and  shame's  deep  hues  it  throws; 

F  ar  up  Alpine  heights  is  heard 
"E  zcelsior,"  now  the  stirring  word; 
"  L  ife's  Psalm,"  now,  onward  is  inviting^ 

L  ongings  for  nobler  deeds  exciting ; 

0  'er  Britain  now  resounds  thy  name, 

W  hile  States  unborn  shall  swell  thy  fhmAi 


44  AJ^PHABETICAL   WHIMS. 

BOUTBBT. 

6  OTcnely  bright  tbj  life'i  pare  stream  did  glide^ 
0  n  sweet  romantic  Derwentwater's  side. 
U  nder  great  Skiddaw — there,  in  £pio  lays, 
T  huu  dream'dst  a  poet's  dreams  of  olden  days, 
11  ow  Madoc  wandered  o'er  the  Atlantic  wave^ 
B  astern  Kehama,  Roderic  the  brare, 
Y  ears  cannot  from  our  fondest  memory  Uta. 

MACAVULT. 

M  asterly  critie!  in  whose  brilliant  style 

A  nd  rich  historic  coloring  breathes  again — 

C  lothed  in  most  pictaresqne  costome  the  while-^ 

A  II  the  dim  past,  with  all  its  bustling  train. 

U  nder  this  yirid,  eloquent  painting,  see 

L  ife  giren  anew  to  oar  old  history's  page; 

A  nd  in  thy  stirring  ballad  poetry, 

T  ourh's  dreams  of  ancient  Rome  once  more  onr  minds  engage. 

OLIVER'S   IMPROMPTU. 

Oliver,  a  sailor  and  patriot,  witli  a  merited  reputation  for 
extempore  rhyming,  while  on  a  visit  to  his  cousin  Benedict 
Arnold,  after  the  war,  was  asked  by  the  latter  to  amuse  a 
party  of  English  officers  with  some  extemporaneous  effusion, 
whereupon  he  stood  up  and  repeated  the  following  Ernulphus 
oorse,  which  would  have  satisfied  Dr.  Slop*  himself: — 

B  om  for  a  curse  to  rirtue  and  mankind, 

B  arth's  broadest  realm  ne'er  knew  so  black  a  mind. 

N  ight's  sable  reil  yonr  crimes  can  nerer  hide, 

E  ach  one  so  great,  'twould  glut  historio  tid«. 

D  eftinct,  yonr  cursed  memory  will  lira 

I  n  all  the  glare  that  infamy  can  gire. 

0  nrses  of  ages  will  attend  yonr  name, 

T  raitors  alone  will  glory  in  yonr  shame. 

A  Imtghty  Tengeanoe  sternly  waits  to  roll 

R  irers  of  sulphnr  on  your  treacherous  soul  t 

K  atnre  looks  shuddering  back  with  consoioui  dnid 

0  n  such  a  tarnished  blot  as  she  has  made. 

L  et  hell  receive  you,  riveted  in  chains, 

D  oomed  to  the  hottest  focus  of  its  flames. 

*  Tristram  Shandy. 


ALPHABETICAL  WHIMS.  46 


ALLITERATIVE  AGBO8TI0. 


The  following  alliterative  acrostic  is  a  gem  in  its  way.  Miai 
Kitty  Stephens  was  the  celebrated  London  vocalist,  and  is  now 
the  Dowager  Conntess  of  Essex : — 

8  he  rings  so  soft,  so  sweet,  so  soothing  still 

T  hat  to  the  tone  ten  thousand  thoughts  there  thrill ; 

B  Ijsian  ecstasies  enchant  each  ear — 

P  leasnre's  pure  pinions  poise — prince,  peasant,  peer, 

H  ushing  high  hymns,  Hearen  hears  her  harmony,— 

B  arth's  envy  ends;  enthralled  each  ear,  each  aye; 

N  umbers  need  ninefold  nerre,  or  nearly  name, 

8  oul-stirring  Stbphbms'  skill,  sure  seraphs  sing  the 


GHRONOGRAMMATIO   PASQUINADE. 

On  the  election  of  Pope  Leo  X.,  in  1440,  the  following  stti- 
rieal  acrostic  appeared,  to  mark  the  date 

M  0  0  0  0  X  L. 
Mnlti  Coeci  Cardinales  Creavemnt  Cosoum  Deeimnm  (X)  LooD«k 

MONASTIC  VEBSE. 

The  merit  of  this  fine  specimen  will  he  found  in  its  being  al 
the  same  time  acrostic,  mesostic,  and  telestic. 

Inter  euncta  micans  Igniti       sidera     ecell 

Ezpellit  tenehras  E  toto  Phcehus  ut  orhE ; 

Sic  esecas  remoret  JESUS  caliginis  umhraS, 

Vivificansque  simnl  Vero  prsecordia    motV, 

Solem  justitisD  Sose  probat  esse  beatiS. 

The  following  translation  preserves  the  acrostic  and  mesostic, 
though  not  the  telestic  form  of  the  original : — 

In  glory  see  the  rising  sun,  Illustrious  orb  of  day, 

Bnlightening  hearen's  wide  expanse,  Expel  night's  gloom  away. 
So  light  into  the  darkest    soul,  JESUS,  Thou  dost  fmpart, 
Uplifting  Thy  life-giring  smiles  Upon  the  deadened  heart : 

Son  Thou  of  Righteousness  Dirine,    Solo  King  of  Saints  Thou  art 


46  ALPHABETICAL  WHIMS. 


The  figure  of  a  fish  carved  on  many  of  the  monnments  in 
the  Roman  Catacombs,  is  an  emblematio  acrostic,  intended 
formerly  to  point  out  the  burial-place  of  a  Christian,  without 
revealing  the  fact  to  the  pagan  persecutors.  The  Greek  word 
for  JUh  is  Ix^^y  which  the  Christians  understood  to  mean  Jevw 
Christf  the  Son  of  God,  the  Saviour, — the  letters  forming  the 
initials  of  the  following  Greek  words : — 

IrjiTou^ —  Jesus 

Xpi<fro(; — Christ, 

6soo—      of  God, 

Ttoc —       Son, 

ZwTTjp —  Saviour. 

NAPOLEON   FAMILY. 

The  names  of  the  male  crowned  heads  of  the  extinct  Napo- 
leon dynasty  form  a  remarkable  acrostic : — 

'N  Apoleon,  Emperor  of  the  French. 

I  oaeph,  King  of  Spain. 

H  ieronymns,  King  of  Westphalii. 

I  ouhim,  King  of  Naples. 

L  ouifl,  King  of  Holland. 

RAOHEL. 

Rachel,  on  one  occasion,  received  a  most  remarkable  present 
It  was  a  diadem,  in  antique  style,  adorned  with  six  jewels.  The 
stones  were  so  set  as  to  spell,  in  acrostic  style,  the  name  of  the 
great  artiste,  and  also  to  signify  six  of  her  principal  r^Zes,  thus : 

R  nby,  R  ozana, 

A  methysty  A  men  aide, 

C  omelian,  0  amiUe, 

H  ematite,  H  ermione, 

E  merald,  E  milie, 

L  apia  Laioll,  L  aodice. 

This  mode  of  constructing  a  name  or  motto  by  the  initial 
letters  of  gems  was  formerly  fashionable  on  wedding  rings 


ALPHABETICAL  WHIMS.  47 

MASONIC  MEMENTO. 

The  following  carious  memento  was  written  in  the  early  pari 
of  last  oentary : — 

M — Magnitade,  Moderation,  Magnanimitj. 

A— AffabUity,  Affection,  Attention. 

S — Silence,  Secrecy,  Security. 

0 — Obedience,  Ordcri  (Economy. 

N— Noble,  Nattf^,  Neighborly. 

R — R*tionaI,  Reciprooatire,  Receptire. 

T— Yielding,  Tpight  (fixed).  Tare  (ready). 
Wliich  is  explained  Urns : — 
Masonry,  of  things,  teaches  how  to  attain  their  just  Magnitude. 
To  inordinate  affections  the  art  of     -        -        •        Moderation. 
It  inspires  the  soul  with  true     •        -        -        -        Magnanimity. 
It  also  teaches  us      ......        Affability. 

To  loTC  each  other  with  true     ....        Affection, 

And  to  pay  to  things  sacred  a  just    ...        Attention. 
It  instructs  us  how  to  Iceep        ....        Silence, 

To  maintain      .......        Secrecy, 

And  preserre    .......        Security ; 

AIso»  to  whom  it  is  due,    .....        Obediancey 

To  obserre  good        ......        Order, 

And  a  commendable  .....        (Economy. 

It  likewise  teaches  us  how  to  be  worthily  -        Noble, 

Truly Natural, 

And  without  resenre  .....        Neighborly. 

It  instils  principles  indisputably        -  '      -        -        Rational, 
And  forms  in  us  a  disposition    ....        ReciprooatlTe^ 
And  --.--...        Receptire. 

It  makes  us,  to  things  indifferent,      ...        Yielding^ 
To  what  is  absolutely  necessary,  perfectly  -        Ypight, 

And  to  do  all  that  is  truly  good,  most  willingly         Yare. 

HEMPS. 

Bacon  says,  '^  Tbe  trivial  proplie(7  which  I  heard  when  I  was 


a  child  and  Qaeen  Elizabeth  was  in  the  flower  of  her  years  i 

When  Hempe  is  spun 
England's  done; 

whereby  it  was  generally  conceived  that  after  the  sovereigns 
had  reigned  which  had  the  letters  of  that  word  HEMPE, 
(which  were  Henry,  Edward,  Mary,  Philip,  Elizabeth,) 
England  shonld  come  to  ntter  confusion ;  which,  thanks  be 
to  God,  is  verified  in  the  change  of  the  name,  for  that  the 
King's  style  Is  now  no  more  of  England,  bat  of  Britain" 


48  AI^PHABETICAL  WHIlfS. 

THE  BBJEYITT  OF  HUMAH  UTS. 

Bekcidf  oIobI  omr  dtm&  wg  Moirf; 

Him  MM  tk^  he,  iam  90om  Uteg  tmdl 

BEHOLD 

How  ■bortasiwa 

Wm  long  enovgh  of  old 

To  moMMO  onitho  liib  of  —; 

In  those  weU-tanpemd  daji  hii  time  wae  thaa 

Borreyed,  east  ap,  sad  firaad  bat  duoeeoore  jeen  and  ta^ 

ALAS! 

Whatisalltiiat? 

They  oome  and  lUdo  and  paai 

Before  my  tongue  can  tell  thee  what. 

The  poeta  of  time  are  swifl,  whieh  haruig  nm 

Their  leven  short  stages  o'er,  their  short-lired  task  is  doaa 

OUR  DATS 

Began,  we.  bend 

To  sleep,  to  antic  plajs 

And  toys,  until  the  first  stage  end; 

12  waning  moons,  twice  5  times  told,  we  give 

To  unrecoTered  loss:  we  rather  breathe  than  lireu 

WE  SPEND 

A  ten  years'  breath 

Before  we  apprehend 

What  'tis  to  lire  in  fear  of  death  ; 

Our  childish  dreams  are  filled  with  painted  Joys 

Which  please  onr  sense,  and  waking  proTe  bat  toys. 

HOW  VAm, 

How  wretched  is 

Poor  man,  that  doth  remain 

A  slare  to  such  a  state  as  this! 

His  days  are  short  at  longest;  few  at  most; 

They  are  but  bad  at  best,  yet  lavished  oat»  or  lost 

THBT  BE 

The  secret  springs 

That  make  our  minutes  fiee 

On  wings  more  swift  than  eagles'  wings  I 

Our  life's  a  dock,  and  erery  gasp  of  breath 

Breathes  forth  a  warning  grief,  tUl  thne  shall  strike  a  dealh. 

HOW  SOON 

Our  new-bom  light 

Attains  to  fttll-aged  noon ! 

And  this,  how  soon  to  gray-haired  night; 

We  spring,  we  bud,  we  blossom,  and  we  blast. 

Bra  we  can  count  onr  days,  our  days  tbey  flee  so  fuL 


ALPHABSnOAIi  WHIMS.  49 

THET  EKD 

Wben  scarce  began. 

And  ere  we  apprehend 

Thai  we  begin  to  lire^  our  lifb  li  done. 

Han,  oonnt  thy  dajf ;  and  if  they  fly  too  fiui 

For  thy  doU  thonghti  to  oonnt,  eoont  eveiy  day  the  lait^ 

A  YALENTINB. 

The  reader,  by  taking  the  first  letter  of  the  first  of  the  follow- 
ing  lines,  the  seoond  letter  of  the  second  lino,  the  third  of  the 
third,  and  so  on  to  the  end,  can  spell  the  name  of  the  lady  to 
whom  they  were  addressed  by  Edgar  A.  Poe. 

For  her  this  rhyme  ia  penned  whose  Inminons  eyes, 

BRightly  ezpressire  as  the  twins  of  Lcsda, 
ShAll  find  her  own  sweet  name,  that  nestling  liea 

UpoN  the  page,  enwrapped  from  erery  reader. 
SearCh  narrowly  the  lines  !*-they  hold  a  treason 

DiyinB — a  talisman — an  amnlet 
That  mnSt  be  worn  at  kMorU    Search  well  the  measure 

The  words— 4he  syllables !    Do  not  forget 
The  tririAIest  point,  or  yon  may  lose  yoor  labor  I 

And  yet  theRe  is  in  this  no  Gordian  knot 
Whieh  one  mlGht  not  undo  without  a  sabre. 

If  one  conid  mBrely  ooraprehend  the  plot 
Enwxitten  npoN  the  leaf  where  now  are  peering 

Byes  sointillaTing  sool,  there  lie  perdm 
Three  eloquent  wOrds,  oft  uttered  in  the  hearing 

Of  poets,  by  poets— aS  the  name's  a  poet's,  too. 
Its  letters,  althouGh  naturally  lying 

Like  the  knight  PintO— Mendes  Ferdinando— 
StiU  form  a  synonym  fOr  Truth.    Cease  trying  I 

Ton  will  not  read  the  rlDdle,  though  yon  do  the  best  yon  ean  do. 


ANAGRAMS. 


But  with  still  more  disordered  mareh  adyaaoe 
(Nor  mareh  it  seemed,  but  wild  fantastio  danoe) 
The  nnoouth  Anagrams,  distorted  train, 
Shifting  in  double  maies  o'er  the  plain.— AirtUertadL 

Camden,  in  a  chapter  in  his  Remains,  on  this  frivolous  and 
now  almost  obsolete  intelleotnal  exercise,  defines  Anagrams  to 
D  6 


50  ALPHABETICAL   WHIMS. 

be  a  dissolution  of  a  name  into  its  letters,  as  its  elements ;  and 
a  new  connection  into  words  is  formed  by  their  transposition,  if 
possible,  without  addition,  subtraction,  or  change  of  the  letters : 
and  the  words  should  make  a  sentence  applicable  to  the  person 
or  thing  named.  The  anagram  is  complimentary  or  satirical ; 
it  may  contain  some  allusion  to  an  event,  or  describe  some  per- 
sonal characteristic.  Thus,  Sir  Thomas  Wiat  bore  his  own 
designation  in  his  name : — 

WUU-A  Wit. 

Astronomer  may  be  made  Mooristarer,  and  Telegraphy  Great 
Bielp,  Funeral  may  be  converted  into  Real  Fun,  and  Freshy- 
terian  may  be  made  Best  in  prayer.  In  stone  may  be  found 
tones,  notes,  or  seton ;  and  (taking  j  and  v  as  duplicates  of  i 
and  u)  the  letters  of  the  alphabet  may  be  arranged  so  as  to 
form  the  words  back,  frovorCd,  phlegm,  quiz,  and  Styx.  Roma 
may  be  transposed  into  amor,  armo,  Maro,  mora,  oram,  or 
ramo.  The  following  epigram  occurs  in  a  book  printed  in  1660 : 

Hate  and  debate  Rome  through  the  world  has  spread ; 
Yet  Roma  gmor  is,  if  backward  read : 
Then  is  it  strange  Rome  hate  should  foster?  No; 
For  oat  of  backward  hve  all  hate  doth  grow. 

It  is  said  that  the  cabalists  among  the  Jews  were  professed 
anagrammatists,  the  third  part  of  their  art  called  themuru 
(changing)  being  nothing  more  than  finding  the  hidden  and 
mystical  meaning  in  names^  by  transposing  and  differently 
combining  the  letters  of  those  names.  Thus,  of  the  letters  of 
Noah's  name  in  Hebrew,  they  made  grace  ;  and  of  the  Messiah 
they  made  he  shall  rejoice, 

Lycophron,  a  Greek  writer  who  lived  three  centuries  before 
the  Christian  era,  records  two  anagrams  in  his  poem  on  the 
siege  of  Troy  entitled  Cassandra.  One  is  on  the  name  of 
Ptolemy  Pbiladelphus,  in  whose  reign  Lycophron  lived : — 

UTOAEMAIS.    AnO  MEAIT02— Made  of  honey. 

The  othe*  is  on  Ptolemy's  queen,  ArsinoS: — 

APSINOE.    EPA2  ION~Jano's  violet 


ALPHABETICAL  WniMS.  51 

EnstaoliiiiB  inforaas  lu  tliat  tliis  practice  was  common  among 
ihe  Oreeks,  and  gives  numerous  examples ;  such,  for  instance, 
as  the  transposition  of  the  word  Apenj,  yirtae,  into  Epanif  lovely. 

Owen,  the  Welsh  epigrammatist,  sometimes  called  the  British 
Martial,  lived  in  the  golden  age  of  anagrammatism.  The 
following  are  fair  specimens  of  his  ingennitj : — 

Ang^luB  M  bonns  anne  malni;  OaUn^  I  Mlmtto 
.   Hnmana  onstos,  augelut  ergo  bonu, 

Db  FiDB — ^AVAGBAMICA  QUIBCVPLBX. 

•  B*eta  fides,  e«rfa  eit,  aroef  maU  aehismata,  non  eit. 
Stoat  Orgta,  fidef  fletilis,  «rte  «ar«g. 

BrbTITAS — ^ABAOBAm A  TBIPLBZ. 

PenpioQft  breyitate  nihil  magia  aflieit  aunt 
In  verbU,  uki  rۤ  poetulat^  esto  hrevit. 

In  a  New  Help  to  Discourse,  12mo,  London,  1684,  occois 
an  anagram  with  a  very  qnaint  epigrammatic  '' exposition :'' — 

T0A8T— A  80TT. 

A  toast  is  like  a  sot;  or,  what  is  most 
Comparatire,  a  sot  is  like  a  toast; 
For  when  their  substanoes  in  liquor  sink. 
Both  properly  are  said  to  be  in  drink. 

Cotton  Mather  was  once  descrihed  as  distingnished  for — 

**  Oare  to  gnide  his  fiook  and  feed  his  lambs 
By  words,  works,  prayers,  psalms,  alms,  and  cmagramt," 

Sylvester,  in  dedicating  to  his  sovereign  his  translation  of 
Ba  Bartas,  rings  the  following  loyal  change  on  the  name  of  his 
liege  : — 

James  Stnart — A  just  master. 

Of  the  poet  Waller,  the  old  anagrammatist  said : — 

His  brows  need  not  with  Lawrel  to  be  bound, 
8inoe  in  his  name  with  Lawrel  he  is  orowned. 

The  author  of  an  extraordinary  work  on  heraldry  was  thus 
expressively  complimented : — 

Randle  Holmes. 
Lo,  Men's  Herald  I 


62  ALPHABETICAL  WHIBI8. 

The  following  on  the  name  of  the  mistrefls  of  Charles  IX.  of 
France  is  historicallj  tme  : — 

Marie  ToaeheCy 
Je  channe  (ont 

In  the  assassin  of  Henry  III., 

Frdre  Jaoqaes  Gleiiieiit» 
they  discovered 

Ceet  Tenfer  qni  m'a  or^e. 

The  French  appear  to  have  practised  this  art  with  peculiar 
facility.  A  French  poet,  deeply  in  love,  in  one  day  sent  his 
mistress,  whose  name  was  Magddatnef  three  dozen  of  ana- 
grams on  her  single  name. 

The  father  Pierre  de  St.  Louis  became  a  Carmelite  monk  on 
discovering  that  his  lay  name — 

LadoTicuB  Bartelemi — 
yielded  the  anagram — 

Cannelo  sedeTovet 

Of  all  the  extravagances  occasioned  by  the  anagrammatio 
fever  when  at  its  height,  none  equals  what  is  recorded  of  an 
infatuated  Frenchman  in  the  seventeenth  century,  named  Andr6 
Pujom,  who,  finding  in  his  name  the  anagram  Pendu  d  Riom^ 
(the  seat  of  criminal  justice  in  the  province  of  AuvergnCi)  felt 
impelled  to  fulfill  his  destiny,  committed  a  capital  offence  in 
Auvergne,  and  was  actually  hung  in  the  place  to  which  the 
omen  pointed. 

The  anagram  on  General  Monk,  afterwards  Duke  of  Albe- 
.  marie,  on  the  restoration  of  Charles  II.,  is  also  a  chronogram, 
including  the  date  of  that  important  event : — 
Georgiiu  Monke,  Dux  de  Anmarley 
Ego  Regem  rediud  Ano.  Sa.  MDCLW. 

The  mildness  of  the  government  of  Elizabeth,  contrasted  with 
her  intrepidity  against  the  Iberians,  is  thus  picked  out  of  her 
title :  she  is  made  the  English  lamb  and  the  Spanish  lioness. 

IHisabetha  Regina  Anglin, 

Anglir  Agna,  Hiberice  Lea. 


ALPHABETICAL  WHIMS.  53 

The  anhappy  history  of  Maiy  Qaeen  of  Soots,  the  depriva- 
tion  of  her  kingdom,  and  her  violent  death,  are  expressed  in 
the  following  Latin  anagram  : — 

Maria  Stsnarda  SootoTom  Regina. 
Tnua  ri  Regnia,  morte  amara  eado. 

In  Taylor's  Suddaine  Tume  of  Fortune*  $  WheeU,  oocura  the 
following  very  singular  example : — 

Bnty  holie  fkther,  I  am  oertifyed 

That  they  your  power  and  polioja  deride; 

And  how  of  yon  they  make  an  anagram, 

The  best  and  bitterest  that  the  wits  eonld  frame. 

As  thus: 
Supremiu  PonH/ex  Romanui, 

Annagramma:  . 
0  non  sum  super  petram  Jixus. 

The  anagram  on  the  well-known  bibliographer,  William 
Oldys,  may  claim  a  place  among  the  first  productions  of  this 
class.  It  was  by  Oldys  himself,  and  was  fonnd  by  his  execu- 
tors  among  his  MSS. 

In  word  and  will  i  ax  a  Mend  to  yon ; 
And  one  friend  old  is  worth  a  handred  new. 

The  following  anagram,  preserved  in  the  files  of  the  First 
Chnrch  in  Roxbury,  was  sent  to  Thomas  Dudley,  a  governor 
and  major-general  of  the  colony  of  Massachusetts,  in  1645. 
He  died  in  1653,  aged  77. 

THOMAS  DUDLEY. 

Ah  !  old  mnst  dye. 
A  death's  head  on  yoor  hand  yon  neede  not  weara» 
A  dying  head  you  on  your  shoulders  beare. 
Ton  need  not  one  to  mind  yon,  you  mnst  dye. 
Yon  in  your  name  may  spell  mortalitye. 
Younge  men  may  dye,  bnt  old  men,  these  dye  most ; 
Twill  not  be  long  before  yon  tume  to  dust 
Before  yon  tume  to  dust!  ah!  must !  old !  dye ! 
What  shall  younge  doe  when  old  in  dust  doe  lye? 
When  old  in  dust  lye,  what  N.  England  doe  ? 
When  old  in  dust  doe  lye,  it's  best  dye  too. 
6* 


64  ALPHABSTIOAL  WHIMS. 

In  an  Elegy  written  bj  Rev.  John  Cotton  on  the  death  of 
John  Alden,  a  magistrate  of  the  old  Plymouth  Colony,  who 
died  in  1687,  the  following  phonetic  anagram  ocours  : — 
John  Alden — Bnd  al  on  hi. 

The  Calvinistio  opponents  of  Arminius  made  of  his  name  a 
not  very  creditable  Latin  anagram : — 

Jacobni  AnninioB, 

Vani  orbiB  amieof ; 

(The  fHend  of  a  falw  woild.) 

while  his  friends,  taking  advantage  of  the  Dutch  mode  of  writ- 
ing it,  ITarminius,  hurled  back  the  conclusive  argument, 

Haboi  onram  SionU. 
(I  hare  had  charge  of  Zion.) 

Perhaps  the  most  extraordinary  anagram  to  be  met  with,  is 
that  on  the  Latin  of  Pilate's  question  to  the  Saviour,  <'  What 
is  truth?"— St.  John,  xviii.  38. 

Qnid  est  Yoritas  ? 

Est  Tir  qui  adest 

(It  ia  the  man  who  is  before  yon.) 

Lire,  Tile,  and  eril,  hare  the  self-same  letters; 

He  lires  but  Tile,  whom  evil  holds  in  fetters. 
If  you  transpose  what  ladies  wear— Ybil, 
'Twill  plainly  show  what  bad  folks  are— -Yilb. 
Again  if  yon  transpose  the  same, 
Ton'll  see  an  ancient  Hebrew  name — Lan. 
Ohange  it  again,  and  it  will  show 
What  all  on  earth  desire  to  do — ^Lm. 
Transpose  the  letters  yet  once  more. 
What  bad  men  do  yonll  then  explore — Eteu 

PERSIST. 
A  lady,  being  asked  by  a  gentleman  to  join  in  the  bonds  of 
matrimony  with  him,  wrote  the  word  <<  Stripes,"  stating  at 
the  time  that  the  letters  making  up  the  word  stripes  could  be 
changed  so  as  to  make  an  answer  to  his  question.  The  result 
proved  satisfactory. 


ALI'UAUKTICAL   WUIUS. 


55 


When  /  cry  that  I  tin  is  transposed,  it  is  clear, 
Mj  resouree  Ckrittianitjf  soon  will  appear. 

The  two  which  follow  are  peculiarly  appropriate : — 

Florence  Nightingale,  John  Abemethy, 

Flit  on,  charming  angel.        Johnnj  the  bear. 

TIME 

ITEM 

METI 

EMIT 
This  wordy  Time,  is  the  only  word  in  the  English  language 
which  can  be  thus  arranged,  and  the  different  transpositions 
thereof  are  all  at  the  same  time  Latin  words.  These  words,  in 
English  as  well  as  in  Latin,  may  be  read  either  upward  or 
downward.  Their  signification  as  Latin  words  is  as  follows : — 
Time — ^fear  thou;  Item — ^likewise;  Meti — ^to  be  measured; 
Emit — ^he  buys. 

Some  striking  German  and  Latin  anagrams  have  been  made 
of  Luther*s  name,  of  which  the  following  are  specimens. 
Doctor  Martinns  Lutherus  transposed,  gives  0  Rom,  Luiher 
ist  der  ichwan.  In  D.  Martinus  Lutherus  may  be  found  ut 
turrii  das  lumen  (like  a  tower  you  give  light).  In  Martinus 
Lutherus  we  have  vir  mulia  struens  (the  man  who  builds  up 
much),  and  ter  matris  vtdnus  (he  gave  three  wounds  to  the 
mother  church).  Martin  Luther  will  make  lehrt  in  Armuth 
(he  teaches  in  poverty). 

Jablonski  welcomed  the  visit  of  Stanislaus,  King  of  Poland, 
with  his  noble  relatives  of  the  house  of  Lescinski,  to  the  an- 
nual examination  of  the  students  under  his  care,  at  the  gymna- 
sum  of  Lissa,  with  a  number  of  anagrams,  all  composed  of  the 
letters  in  the  words  Domus  Lescinia.  The  recitations  closed 
with  a  heroic  dance,  in  which  each  youth  carried  a  shield  in- 
scribed with  a  legend  of  the  letters.  After  a  new  evolution,  the 
boys  exhibited  the  words  Ades  incolumis;  next,  Omnu  es 
Itxida ;  next,  Omne  si$  lucida;  fifthly,  Mane  sidus  loci; 
sixthly,  SU  columna  Dei;  and  at  the  conclusion,  /  scande 
solium. 


56  ALPHABETICAL  WHIMS. 


A  TELEGRAM  ANAGRAMMATISED. 

Though  but  a  late  germ,  with  a  wondroas  elation^ 

Yet  like  a  great  elm  it  o'enhadows  each  itatioii. 

JSt  malgri  the  oAoe  is  still  a  large  fee  mart, 

80  joyous  the  crowd  was,  you'd  thought  it  a  glee  martf 

But  they  raged  at  no  news  from  the  nation's  belligerent^ 

And  I  said  Ufm  ruge,  since  the  air  is  refrigerant. 

I  then  met  large  numbers,  whose  drink  was  not  sherbet. 

Who  scarce  could  look  up  when  their  eyes  the  gMB-glare  Mcf  / 

So  when  I  had  learned  from  commeroial  adTiser 

That  mere  gaU  for  sand  was  the  great  fertiliser, 

I  bade  Mr.  Eaglety  although  'twas  ideal, 

Get  some  from  the  clay-pit,  and  so  gei^m  real; 

Then,  just  as  my  footstep  was  leaving  the  portal, 

I  met  an  elm  targe  on  a  great  Highland  mortal, 

With  the  maid  he  had  woo'd  by  the  loch's  flowery  margeiUi, 

And  row'd  in  his  boat,  which  for  rhyme's  sake  call  bargelet, 

And  blithe  to  thebreece  would  have  set  the  sail  daily, 

But  it  blew  at  that  rate  which  the  sailors  term  geUe,  aye; 

I  stumbled  against  the  fair  bride  he  had  married, 

When  a  merle  gat  at  large  from  a  cage  that  she  carried ; 

She  gaye  a  loud  screech !  and  I  could  not  well  blame  her^ 

But  lame  as  I  was,  Fd  no  wish  to  get  lamer; 

80  I  made  my  escape — ne'er  an  antelope  fleeter. 

Lest  my  Terse,  like  the  poet,  should  limp  through  lag  metre. 

Anagrams  are  sometimeB  found  in  old  epitaphiai  inscriptioiiB. 
For  example,  at  St.  Andrews : — 

Catharine  Carstairs, 
Caeta  rara  Chrietxattcu 
Chaete,  rare  Chrietian» 

At  Newenham  churchy  Northampton : — 
William  Thometon. 
O  little  worth  in  man. 

At  Keynsham : — 

Mrs.  Joane  Florer. 
Laee/or  oate. 

At  Mannington,  1631 : — 

Katherine  Lougher, 
Lower  taken  higher. 


ALPHABETICAL  WHIMS.  57 

Maitlaod  has  the  following  corioiis  specimen  :-* 
How  much  there  is  in  a  word — monastery,  sajs  I :  why,  that 
makes  natty  Rome;  and  when  I  looked  at  it  again,  it  was  evi- 
dently more  natty — a  very  vile  place  or  mean  sty.  Ay,  mon^ 
steTf  says  I,  yon  are  found  out.  What  monster  f  said  the  Pope. 
What  monster  ?  said  I.  Why,  your  own  image  there,  stone 
Mary.  That,  he  replied,  is  my  one  star^  my  Stella  Maris,  my 
treasore^  my  guide  I  No,  said  I,  you  should  rather  say,  my 
treason.  Yet  no  armSy  said  he.  No,  quoth  I,  quiet  may  suit 
best,  as  long  as  you  have  no  mastery,  I  mean  money  arts.  No, 
said  he  again,  those  are  Tory  means ;  and  Dan,  my  senator, 
will  baffle  them.  I  don't  know  that,  said  I,  but  I  think  one 
might  make  no  mean  story  out  of  this  one  word — monastery. 


CHRONOGRAMS. 


Addison,  in  his  remarks  on  the  different  species  of  false  wit, 
(Spect.  No.  60,)  thus  notices  the  chronogram.  ''This  kind 
of  wit  appears  very  often  on  modem  medals,  especially  those 
of  Germany,  when  they  represent  in  the  inscription  the  year  in 
which  they  were  coined.  Thus  we  see  on  a  medal  of  Oustavus 
Adolphus  the  following  words : — 

CbbIstVb  DdX  broo  tbIYMpbYs. 
If  you  take  the  puns  to  pick  the  figures  out  of  the  several 
words,  and  range  them  in  their  proper  order,  you  will  find  they 
amount  to  MDCXVVVlI,  or  1627,  the  year  in  which  the 
medal  was  stamped;  for  as  some  of  the  letters  distinguish 
themselves  from  the  rest  and  overtop  their  fellows,  they  are  to 
be  considered  in  a  double  capacity,  both  as  letters  and  as 
figures.  Tour  laborious  German  wits  will  turn  over  a  whole 
dictionary  for  one  of  these  ingenious  devices.  A  man  would 
think  they  were  searching  after  an  apt  classical  term ;  but  in- 
stead of  that  they  are  looking  out  a  word  that  has  an  L,  an  M, 
or  a  D,  in  it.     When  therefore  we  meet  with  any  of  these  in- 


58  ALPHABETICAL   WHIMS. 

foripdoDs,  we  are  not  so  much  to  look  in  tlieui  for  the  thought 
as  for  the  year  of  the  Lord." 

Apropos  of  this  humorous  allusion  to  the  Germanesque 
character  of  the  chronogram,  it  is  worthy  of  notice  that  Euro- 
pean tourists  find  far  more  numerous  examples  of  it  in  the  in- 
scriptions OD  the  churches  on  the  banks  of  the  Rhine  than  in 
any  other  part  of  the  continent. 

On  the  title-page  of  "  Ilugo  Grotius  hfs  Sophompanrait" 
the  date,  1652,  is  not  givea  in  the  usual  form,  but  is  included 
in  the  name  of  the  author,  thus  : — 

pRAicCIfl  ooLDsMItb. 

Howell,  in  his  German  Diet,  after  narrating  the  death  of 
Charles,  son  of  Philip  II.  of  Spain,  says  : — 

U  you  desire  to  know  the  year,  this  chronogram  will  tell  you: 

p[L[V8  ANTR  DIkM  patrIos  iMQVlitIr  In  an.nus. 
MDLVVIIIIIIII,  or  I5G8. 

Tlio  fuUowing  comniciuoratestlicdc  ith  of  Queen  Elizabeth  : — 
My    Day   Is   Closod    In    Immortality.      (1603.) 

A  Gorman  book  was  issued  in  1706,  containing  fac-similes 
and  descriptions  of  more  than  two  hundred  medals  coined  in 
honor  of  Martin  liUther.  An  inseripMon  on  one  of  them  ex- 
presses the  date  of  hi^s  death,  154(5,  a^  follows: — 

ECCe  nVnc  MurltVs  IVritVs  In  paCo  ChrlstI  exItV  tVto  et  beato. 

The  most  extraordinary  attempt  of  this  kind  that  has  yet 
been  made,  bears  the  following  title  : — 

Chronographica  Gratulatio  tn  Felicigsimum  adventum  Se- 
renUstmi  Cardinalis  Ferdinand ly  Hispaniarum  In/antis,  a 
CoUegio  Soc,  Jesu. 

A  dedication  to  St  Michael  and  an  address  to  Ferdinand  are 
followed  by  one  hundred  hexameters,  every  one  of  which  is  a 
chronogram^  and  each  gives  the  same  result,  1634.  The  first 
and  last  verses  are  subjoined  as  a  specimen. 

AngoLe  CsBLIVogl  MICba^'L  LUX  UnICa  CatUs. 
YenlCULIs  InCLUsa,  f  LUent  In  ssBCULa  CentUM. 


PAUNDB0MJB8. 


BSOUBRBMT,  BICIPBOGAL,  OB  BEVEBSIBLB  W0BD8  AND 
VEBSES. 

Thb  only  fair  specimen  we  can  find  of  reciprocal  words,  or 
those  which,  read  backwards  or  forwards,  are  the  same,  is  the 
following  couplet,  which,  according  to  an  old  book,  cost  the 
aothor  a  world  of  foolish  labor: — 

Odo  tenet  mulam,  madidam  mulam  tenet  Odo. 

Anna  tenet  mappanii  madidam  mappam  tenet  Anna. 

The  followmg  admired  reciprocal  lines,  addressed  to  St  Mar- 
tin by  Satan,  according  to  the  legend,  the  reader  will  find  on 
perusal,  either  backwards  or  forwards,  precisely  the  same : — 

Signa  te  signa;  temere  me  tangia  et  angia; 

Boma  iibi  sabito  motibaa  ibit  amor. 
[Bt.  Martin  haring  given  np  the  profesmon  of  aaoldier,  and  baring  been 
made  Bishop  of  Toun,  when  prelates  neither  kept  carriages  nor  serrants, 
had  occasion  to  go  to  Borne,  in  order  to  consult  the  Pope  upon  ecclesiastical 
matters.  As  he  was  walking  along  the  road  he  met  the  deyil,  who  politely 
accosted  him,  and  ventared  to  obserre  how  fatiguing  and  indecorous  it  was 
for  him  to  perform  bo  long  a  joumej  on  foot,  like  the  commonest  pilgprim. 
The  Saint  understood  the  drift  of  Old  Nick's  address,  and  commanded  him 
immediately  to  become  a  beast  of  burden,  or  juwtentum;  which  the  deyil 
did  in  a  twinkling  by  assuming  the  shape  of  a  mule.  The  Saint  jumped 
upon  the  fiend's  back,  who  at  first  trotted  cheerfully  along,  but  soon  slack- 
ened his  pace.  The  bishop  of  course  had  neither  whip  nor  spurs,  but  was 
possessed  of  a  much  more  powerful  stimulus,  for,  says  the  legend,  he  made 
the  sign  of  the  cross,  and  the  smarting  devil  instantly  galloped  away.  Soon 
howcTer,  and  naturally  enough,  the  father  of  sin  returned  to  sloth  and  ob- 
stinacy, and  Martin  hurried  him  again  with  repeated  signs  of  the  cross, 
till,  twitched  and  stung  to  the  quick  by  those  crossings  so  hateful  to  him, 
the  Texed  and  tired  reprobate  uttered  the  foregoing  distich  in  a  rage, 
meaning,  Cron,  erott  yotinelf;  you  annoy  and  vex  me  toitkout  neeetnty;  for 
owing  to  my  exertion*,  Rome,  the  object  of  your  lotfAet,  will  9oon  be  nearJ] 

The  Palindrome  changes  the  sense  in  the  backward  reading; 
the  Verms  Cancnnus  retains  the  sense  in  both  instances  on- 
chaoged,  as  in  this  instance : — 

Bei  Leid  lieh  stets  Heil  die  Lieb. 
(In  trouble  comfort  is  lent  by  lore.) 


W  PALINDB0MS8. 

Similarly  recurrent  is  the  lawyer's  motto,— 
8i  nummi  immunis, 

translated  by  Camden,  "  Give  me  my  fee,  I  warrant  you  free." 

The  Greek  inscription  on  the  mosque  of  St.  Sophia,  in  Con- 
stantinople, 

Niipov  difOfijjfiara  iiij  ftovav  liiptv* 

presents  the  same  words,  whether  read  from  left  to  right^  or 
from  right  to  left.     So  also  the  expressions  in  English, — 

Madam,  rm  Adam.  {Adam  to  Epe,) 

Name  no  one  man. 

Able  was  I  ere  I  saw  Elba.    {HapoUon  loq.) 

Snag  A  raw  was  I  ere  I  saw  war  A  gnns. 

Rtd  mm  did  emit  rexel  ere  Lever  time  did  mnrder. 

Red  root  put  np  to  order. 

Trash?  even  interpret  Nineveh's  art 

Lewd  did  I  live,  evil  I  did  dwel. 

Praw  papil's  lip  upward. 

This  enigmatical  line  surrounds  a  figure  of  the  sun  in  the 
mosaic  pavement  of  Sa.  Maria  del  Fiori,  at  Florence: — 
En  giro  torte  sol  oiolos  et  rotor  igne. 

These  lines  are  supposed  to  be  addressed  to  a  young  man  de- 
tained at  Home  by  a  love  affair : — 

Roma  ibi  tibi  sedes — ^ibi  tibi  Amor; 
Romfl  etsi  te  terret  et  iste  Amor, 
Ibi  etsi  vis  te  non  esse— sed  es  ibi, 
Roma  te  tenet  et  Amor. 

At  Rome  jon  live— at  Rome  jon  lore ; 

From  Rome  that  love  may  you  affright^ 
Although  you'd  leave,  you  never  move^ 

For  love  and  Rome  both  bar  your  flight. 

Dean  Swift  wrote  a  letter  to  Dr.  Sheridan,  composed  of  Latin 
words  strung  together  as  mere  gibberish  but  each  word,  when 

*  Meaning  in  substance.  Purify  the  mind  at  well  ae  the  bodjf^ 


PALINDROMES.  61 

read  backwards;  makes  passable  Eoglish.     Take  for  example 
the  followiDg  short  sentences : — 

Mi  Sana.     Odioso  ni  mas  rem.    Moto  ima  os  illud  dama  nam  ? 

(I'm  an  asa.  0  so  I  do  in  summer.  0  Tom,  am  I  so  dull,  I  a  mad  man  t) 

Inscription  for  a  hospital,  paraphrased  from  the  Psalms : — 

Aeide  me  malo,  sed  non  desola  me,  medlea. 

The  ingenious  Latin  verses  subjoined  are  reversible  verbally 
only,  not  literally,  and  will  be  found  to  embody  opposite  mean- 
ings by  commencing  with  the  last  word  and  reading  back- 
wards:— 

Prospietmns  modo,  quod  dorabunt  tempore  longo^ 

FoederSy  neo  patrisB  pax  oito  diffngiet. 

DiAigiet  eito  pax  patriae,  nee  foedera  longo. 
Tempore  durabiml^  quod  modo  prospioimus. 

The  following  hexameter  from  Santa  Marca  Novella,  Flo- 
rence, refers  to  the  sacrifice  of  Abel  (Oen.  iv.  4).  Eevcrsed, 
it  is  a  pentameter,  and  refers  to  the  sacrifice  of  Cain  (iv.  3). 

Bacram  pLn^e  dabo  non  macmm  sacrifloabo, 
Sacrificabo  macmm  non  dabo  pingue  saenim. 

The  subjoined  distich  arose  from  the  following  circumstance. 
A  tutor,  after  having  explained  to  his  class  one  of  the  odes  of 
Horace,  undertook  to  dictate  the  same  in  hexameter  verses,  as 
an  exennse  (as  he  said).  It  cost  him  considerable  trouble :  he 
hesitated  several  times,  and  occasionally  substituted  other  words, 
but  finally  succeeded.  Some  of  his  scholars  thought  he  would 
not  accomplish  his  task ;  others  maintained  that,  having  begun, 
it  was  a  point  of  honor  to  complete  it. 

Betro  mente  labo,  non  metro  oontinnabo; 
Continnabo  metro ;  non  labo  mente  retro. 

Addison  mentions  an  epigram  called  the  Witchet^  Prayer, 
that  ''fell  into  verse  when  it  was  read  either  backward  or  for- 
ward, excepting  only  that  it  cursed  one  way,  and  blessed  the 

other." 

6 


62  PALINDROMES. 

One  of  Uie  most  remarkable  palindromes  on  record  is  ihe 
following.  Its  distinguishing  peculiarity  is  that  the  first  letter 
of  each  successive  word  unites  to  spell  the  first  word ;  the 
second  letter  of  each,  the  second  word ;  and  so  on  throughout ; 
and  the  same  will  be  found  precisely  true  on  reversal. 

SATOE  AREPO  TENET  OPERA  ROTAS. 

But  the  neatest  and  prettiest  specimen  that  has  yet  appeared 
comes  from  a  highly  cultivated  lady  who  was  attached  to  the 
court  of  Queen  Elizabeth.  Having  been  banished  from  the 
court  on  suspicion  of  too  great  familiarity  with  a  nobleman 
then  high  in  favor,  the  lady  adopted  this  device, — the  moon 
covered  by  a  cloudy — and  the  following  palindrome  for  a 
motto : — 

ABLATA  AT  ALBA. 

(Banished,  but  bl&meless.) 

The  merit  of  this  kind  of  composition  was  never  in  any 
example  so  heightened  by  appropriateness  and  delicacy  of 
sentiment. 

Paschasius  composed  the  recurrent  epitaph  on  Henry  lY. : — 

Aroa  aerenam  me  gere  regem,  munere  saora, 
Bolem,  areas,  animos,  omina  saora,  melos. 

A  very  curious  continuous  series  of  palindromes  was  printed 
in  Vienna  in  1802.  It  was  written  in  ancient  Greek  by  a 
modern  Greek  named  Ambrosius,  who  called  it  Ildcfifiaxapxofa^. 
It  contains  455  lines,  every  one  of  which  is  a  literal  palin- 
drome.    A  few  are  selected  at  random,  as  examples : — 

'laa   wofft  Zi}  rt  yir,  St>  d  MotwiryniK  <f  cvmi. 
Ncav  aau  fukt<p<ai>0y,  w  ^ikt,  Mowar  ocr. 
'fl  Xairci)vi«e,  ct  yoi^  rta  No/ir,  o*  kuw  nku, 
*ApeTa  -Knyoot  ateayn  rartptu 
Tiunip  av  wo,  cS  tXu  ^u  \ia  og  tvs  PTrtOf, 

The  following  line  is  expressive  of  the  sentiments  of  a 
Roman  Catholic ;  read  backwards^  of  those  of  a  Huguenot : — 
Patmm  dicta  probo,  nee  saoris  belligerabo. 
Belligerabo  aaeris,  neo  probo  diota  patram. 


PALINDBOMIS.  63 

These  lines,  written  to  please  a  group  of  youthfiil  folk, 
serve  to  show  that  our  English  tongue  is  as  capable  of  being 
twisted  into  uncouth  shapes  as  is  the  Latin,  if  any  one  will 
take  the  trouble: — 

One  winter's  ere,  aroand  the  fire,  a  oozy  group  we  sat, 
Engaged,  as  was  our  costom  old,  in  after-dinner  ebat; 
Small-talk  it  was,  no  doabt,  becaase  the  smaller  folk  were  there, 
And  they,  the  young  monpolists !  absorbed  the  lion's  share. 
Conundrums,  riddles,  rebuses,  cross-questions,  puns  atrocious, 
Taxed  all  their  ingenuity,  till  Peter  the  precocious — 
Old  head  on  shoulders  juvenile— cried,  **  Now  for  a  new  task: 
Let's  try  our  hand  at  PalxHdrome*  /"    "Agreed !    But  first,"  we  ask, 
"Pray,  Peter,  what  are  Palindromes?"     The  forward  imp  replied, 
"  A  PaHndrome  's  a  string  of  words  of  sense  or  meaning  void. 
Which  reads  both  ways  the  same :  and  here,  with  your  permission, 
rU  cite  some  half  a  score  of  samples,  lacking  all  precision 
(But  held  together  by  loose  rhymes,  to  test  my  definition): — 

"A  milksop,  jilted  by  his  lass,  or  wandering  in  his  wits. 
Might  murmur,  'Stiff,  0  dairy -man,  in  a  myriad  of  Jit*  l* 

"A  limner  by  photography  dead-beat  in  competition, 
Thus  grumbled,  *No,  it  m  oppo9ed  ;  art  teet  trtuWt  oppontumf 

"A  nonsense-loving  nephew  might  his  soldier-uncle  dun 

With  *  Now  ttop,  major-general,  are  negro  jam-pote  toont* 
"A  supercilious  grocer,  if  inclined  that  way,  might  snub 

A  child  with  'But  reguea  etore,  babe,  rota  a  eugar-tub,' 
-  Thy  spectre,  Alexander,  is  a  fortress,  cried  Hephaestion. 

Great  A.  said,  'No,  i^e  a  bar  of  gold,  a  bad  log  for  a  baetion  P 
"A  timid  creature,  fearing  rodents — ^mice  and  such  small  fry — 

*8top,  Syrian,  letart  at  raU  in  airy  epote,'  might  cry. 
"A  simple  soul,  whose  wants  are  few,  might  say,  with  hearty  lest, 
*  Deaaerta  I  deaire  not,  ao  long  no  loat  one  riae  diatreaaed.' 

"A  stem  Canadian  parent  might  in  earnest,  not  in  fun, 
Bxolaim,  *No  aot  nor  Ouawa  law  at  Toronto,  aon  !* 

"A  crasy  dentist  might  declare,  as  something  strange  or  new. 
That  'Paget  aaw  an  Iriah  tooth,  air,  ih  a  uxiate  gap  /'     True ! 

'*  A  surly  student,  hating  sweets,  might  answer  with  elan, 
'  Name  tartaf  no,  n^dieval  alave,  I  demonatrate  man  /' 

"He  who  in  Nature's  bitters  findeth  sweet  food  every  day, 
'Eureka  !  till  I  pull  up  ill  T  take  rue,'  well  might  say." 


64 


EQUIVOQUE. 


<2^quiboque. 


COPT  OF   A   LETTER   WRITTEN    BT  CARDINAL  RICHBLIBV  TO  THE 
FRENCH   AMBASSADOR  AT   ROME. 


o  ^  rt  s 


EQUIVOQUE.  65 

A  LOYE-LETTEB. 

The  reader,  after  perusing  it,  will  please  read  it  again,  ooin- 
mcncing  on  the  first  line,  then  the  third  and  fifth,  and  so  on, 
reading  eaoh  alternate  line  to  the  end. 

To  Mns  M 

—The  great  love  I  have  hitherto  expreesed  for  7011 

b  &lae  and  I  find  my  indifferenoe  towards  yon 
-— inereiMS  daily.    The  more  I  lee  of  jou,  the  more 

yon  appear  in  my  eyei  an  object  of  oontempt. 
—I  feel  myaelf  oTery  way  di«posed  and  determined 

to  hate  yon.    BelieTe  me,  I  never  had  an  intention 
•^to  oflfor  you  my  hand.    Oar  last  conTonation  has 

left  a  tedious  insipidity,  which  has  by  no  means 
— ^Ten  me  the  most  exalted  idea  of  your  character. 

Tonr  temper  would  make  me  extremely  unhappy 
-«nd  were  we  united,  I  should  experience  nothing  bat 

the  hatred  of  my  parents  added  to  the  anything  bat 
—pleasure  in  living  with  you.     I  hare  indeed  a  heart 

to  bestow,  but  I  do  not  wish  yon  to  imagine  it 
— at  your  senriee.    I  could  not  give  it  to  any  one  more 

inconsistent  and  capricious  than  yourself,  and  less 
—capable  to  do  honor  to  my  choice  and  to  my  family. 

Tes,  Miss,  I  hope  you  will  be  persuaded  that 
—I  speak  sincerely,  and  you  will  do  me  a  favor 

to  avoid  me.    I  shall  excuse  you  taking  the  trouble 
—to  answer  this.    Tour  letters  are  always  ftill  of 

impertinence,  and  you  have  not  a  shadow  of 
— ^wit  and  good  sense.    Adieu !  adieu !  believe  me 

so  averse  to  you,  that  it  is  impossible  for  me  even 
—to  be  your  most  affectionate  friend  and  humble 

servant  L 

INGENIOUS   SUBTERFUGE. 

A  young  lady  newly  married,  being  obliged  to  show  to  her 
husband  all  the  letters  she  wrote,  sent  the  following  to  an  inti- 
mate friend.  The  key  is,  to  read  the  first  and  then  every 
alternate  line  only. 

—I  cannot  be  satisfied,  my  dearest  friend ! 

blest  as  I  am  in  the  matrimonial  state, 
— ^unless  I  pour  into  your  friendly  bosom, 

which  has  ever  been  in  unison  with  mine, 
'•the  various  sensations  which  swell 
E  6* 


66  EQUIVOQUE. 

with  tho  liveliest  oraotion  of  pleasure, 
— mj  a1tiii>Rt  bursting  heart.     I  toll  you  my  ilear 

husband  is  the  naoxt  amiable  of  men, 
—I  have  n()w  been  married  seven  weeks,  and 

never  have  found  the  least  reason  to 
—repent  the  day  that  joined  us.    My  husband  ia 

both  in  person  and  manners  far  from  resembling 
'^-nglj*  cross,  old,  disagreeable,  and  jealoui 

monsters,  who  think  by  confining  to  secure^ 
— a  wife,  it  is  his  maxim  to  treat  as  a 

bosom  fViend  and  confidant,  and  not  as  a 
— ^plaything,  or  menial  slave,  the  woman 

chosen  to  be  his  companion.    Neither  party 
— ^he  says,  should  always  obey  implicitly; 

but  each  yield  to  the  other  by  turns. 
—An  anrient  maiden  aunt,  near  seventy, 

a  cheerful,  venerable,  and  pleasant  old  lady, 
-olives  in  the  house  with  us;  she  is  the  de- 
light of  both  young  and  old;  she  is  ci- 
— vil  to  all  the  neighborhood  round, 

generous  and  charitable  to  the  poor. 
—I  am  convinced  my  husband  loves  nothing  more 

than  he  does  me;  he  flatters  me  more 
—than  a  glass ;  and  his  intoxication 

(for  so  I  must  call  the  excess  of  his  love) 
—often  makes  me  blush  for  the  un worthiness 

of  its  object,  and  wish  I  could  be  more  deserving 
—of  the  man  whose  name  I  bear.    To 

say  all  in  one  word,  my  dear,  and  to 
—crown  the  whole— my  former  gallant  lover 

is  now  my  indulgent  husband ;  my  husband 
—is  returned,  and  I  might  have  had 

a  prince  without  tho  felicity  I  find  in 
— him.     A'iieu  !  wKy  you  be  blest  as  I  am  un- 
able to  wish  that  I  could  be  more 
—happy. 


DOUBLS-VAOED  GREED. 

The  following  cross-reading  from  a  history  of  Popery,  pub- 
lished in  1679,  and  formerly  called  in  New  England  The 
Jesuits'  Creed,  will  suit  either  Catholic  or  Protestant  accord- 
ingly  as  the  lines  are  read  downward  in  single  oolomns  or 
across  the  double  columns : — 


EQUIVOQUE.  67 

Pro  fide  teneo  sana    ■  Qiub  docet  Anglioanft, 

Affirmat  qnm  Bomana  Yidentor  mihi  vana. 

Supnmiu  qnando  rax  eit  Turn  pleba  eat  fortnnatay 

Erratieiu  torn  Qnx  eat  Com  ei^ut  fiat  papa. 

Altari  earn  omator  Commanio  fit  inaDU, 

Popnlna  tarn  beator  Ciini  mania  vina  pania. 

Aaini  nomen  meruit  Hnno  morem  qui  non  eaplt» 

Mioam  qui  deaemit  CathoUena  eat  et  aapit 

I  hold  for  Mth  What  Bngland'a  ohnroh  allowi^ 

What  Rome^a  ehnroh  aalth.  My  oonaoienoe  diaaTowa. 

When  the  king  ia  head  The  flook  ean  take  no  ahame, 

The  flock'a  mialed.  Who  hold  the  pope  auprame. 

Where  the  altar'a  dreat  The  worahip'a  aoaree  divine, 

The  people'a  bleat,  Whoae  table'a  bread  and  wiaib, 

He^a  but  an  aaa  Who  their  eommonion  fliea, 

Who  ahnna  the  maaa,  la  Catholie  and  wiae. 


REYOLUTIONABT  YEBSSS. 

The  author  of  the  followiDg  Revolationary  doable. eotendre, 
which  originally  appeared  in  a  Philadelphia  newspaper,  is  an- 
known.  It  may  be  read  in  three  different  ways, — Ist  Let  the 
whole  be  read  in  the  order  in  which  it  is  written ;  2d.  Then 
the  lines  downward  on  the  loft  of  each  comma  in  every  line ; 
and  3d.  In  the  same  manner  on  the  right  of  each  comma.  By 
the  first  reading  it  will  be  observed  that  the  Revolationary  oaose 
IS  condemned,  and  by  the  others,  it  is  encoaraged  and  lauded :-» 

Hark !  hark !  the  tnimpet  aonnda^  the  din  of  war'a  alarma, 

O'er  aeaa  and  aolid  grounda,  doth  eall  oa  all  to  arma; 

Who  for  King  George  doth  atand^  their  honora  aoon  ahall  ahlaa ; 

Their  rain  ia  at  hand,  who  with  the  Congreaa  join. 

The  acta  of  Parliament,  in  them  I  mnoh  delight^ 

I  hate  their  coraed  intent,  who  for  the  Congreaa  flght^ 

The  Toriea  of  the  day,  they  are  my  daily  toaat> 

They  aoon  will  aneak  away,  who  Independence  boaat; 

Who  non-reaiatance  hold,  they  have  my  hand  and  heart 

May  they  for  alarea  be  aold,  who  act  a  Whiggiah  part; 

On  Manafield,  North,  and  Bute,  may  daily  bleaainga  pooTy 

Gonfaaion  and  dispute,  on  Congreaa  evermore; 

To  North  and  British  lord,  may  honors  still  be  doiie^ 

I  wiah  a  block  or  cord,  to  Qeneral  Washington. 


68 


SQUIYOQUS. 


THS  HOUSES  OV  8TTJABT  AND  HANOVER. 


I  love  with  all  my  heart 
The  HanoTerian  part 
And  for  that  Bettlement 
Mj  conBcience  givei  oonMnt 
Most  righteous  is  the  eanse 
To  fight  for  George's  laws 
It  is  mj  mind  and  heart 
Though  none  will  take  my  part 


The  T017  party  here 
Most  hateful  do  appear 
I  ever  hare  denied 
To  be  on  James's  side 
To  fight  for  such  a  king 
Will  England's  ruin  bring 
In  this  opinion  I 
Resolve  to  live  and  die. 
Lansdow»€  MSS.  862 


THE   NEW  REGIME. 

The  folIowiDg  equivoque  was  addressed  to  a  republican  at 
the  commencement  of  the  French  Reyolution,  in  reply  to  the 
question,  ^'  What  do  you  think  of  the  new  constitution  V 

A  la  nourelle  loi  Je  Teux  dtre  fiddle 

Je  renonoe  dans  Tflme  Au  regime  aneien, 

Comme  Cprenre  de  ma  foi  Je  orois  la  loi  nourelle 

Je  crois  oelle  qu'ou  bl&me  Oppos6e  ik  tout  bien ; 

Dion  Tous  donne  la  paix  Messieurs  les  democrats 

Noblesse  desol6e  Au  diable  alles-Tous  en ; 

Qu'il  eonfonde  &  jamais  Tous  les  Aristocrats 

Messieurs  de  I'Assembl^e  Ont  eux  seuls  le  bon  sens. 

The  newly  made  law 
From  my  soul  I  abhor 
My  faith  to  prove  good, 
I  maintain  the  old  code 
May  God  give  you  peace. 
Forsaken  Noblesse^ 
May  He  ever  confound 
The  Assembly  all  round 


'Tis  my  wish  to  < 
The  ancient  regime 
I  maintain  the  new  code 
Is  opposed  to  all  good. 
Messieurs  Democrats, 
To  the  devil  go  hence. 
Ail  the  Aristocrats 
Are  the  sole  men  of  sense. 


FATAL  DOUBLE   MEANING. 

Count  Yalavoir,  a  general  in  the  French  service  under  Ta- 
reDue,  while  encamped  before  the  enemy,  attempted  one  night 
to  pass  a  sentinel.  The  sentinel  challenged  him,  and  the 
count  answered  "  Va-la-voir"  which  literally  signifies  '<Gk>  and 
see."  The  soldier,  who  took  the  words  in  this  sense,  indig- 
nantly repeated  the  challenge,  and  was  answered  in  the  same 
manner,  when  he  fired ;  and  the  unfortunate  Count  fell  dead 
upon  the  spot, — a  victim  to  the  whimsicality  of  his  surname. 


IQUIVOQUS. 


69 


A  TEIPLE  PLATFORM. 

Among  the  memorials  of  the  sectional  conflict  of  1861-5,  is 
an  American  platform  arranged  to  suit  all  parties.  The  first 
column  is  the  Secesnon;  the  second,  the  Abolition  platform; 
and  the  whole,  read  together,  is  the  Democratic  platform : — 


Hurrah  for 

Becession 

We  fight  for 

The  Confederao J 

We  love 

The  rebellion 

We  glory  in 

Separation 

We  fight  not  for 

Reoonstmotion 

We  must  succeed 

The  Union 

We  love  not 

We  never  said 

We  want 

Foreign  intervention 

We  cherish 

The  stars  and  bars 

We  venerate 

Southern  chivalry 

Death  to 

Abe  Lincoln 

Down  with 

Law  and  order 


The  Old  Union 

Is  a  curse 

The  Constitution 

Is  a  league  with  hell 

Free  speech 

Is  treason 

A  Free  Press 

Will  not  be  tolerated 

The  negro's  freedom 

Must  be  obtained 

At  every  hasard    ' 

We  love 

The  negro 

Let  the  Union  slide 

The  Union  as  it  was 

Is  played  out 

The  old  flag 

Is  a  flaunting  lie 

The  heabu9  eorpuB 

Is  hateful 

Jeff  Davis 

Isn't  the  Government 

Mob  law 

Shall  triumph. 


LOYALTY,  OR  JACOBINISM? 

This  piece  of  amphibol(^  was  circulated  among  the  United 
Irishmen,  previous  to  the  Rebellion  of  1798.  First,  read  the 
lines  as  they  stand,  then  according  to  the  numerals  prefixed : — 

1.  I  love  my  country — but  the  king, 

3.  Above  all  men  his  praise  I  sing, 

2.  Destruction  to  his  odious  reign, 

4.  That  plague  of  princes,  Thomas  Paine; 

6.  The  royal  banners  are  displayed, 

7.  And  may  success  the  standard  aid 
6.  Defeat  and  ruin  seize  the  cause 

8.  Of  France  her  liberty  and  laws. 


70  EQUIVOQUE. 

NON    COMMITTAL. 

NEAT  EVASION. 

Bisbop  Egerton,  of  Durham,  avoided  three  impertinent 
questions  by  replying  as  follows : — 

1.  What  inheritanoe  he  received  from  his  father? 

"  Not  80  maoh  as  he  expected." 

2.  What  was  his  lady's  fortune  ? 

"  Less  than  was  reported." 
-      3.  What  was  the  value  of  his  liring  of  Bou? 
'<  More  than  he  made  of  it" 

A  PATRIOTIC  TOAST. 

Most  readers  will  remember  the  story  of  a  non-committal 
editor  who,  during  the  Presidential  canvass  of  1872,  desiring  to 
propitiate  subscribers  of  both   parties,  hoisted   the  ticket  of 

« (Jr and n"  at  the  top  of  his  column,  thus  giving 

those  who  took  the  paper  their  choice  of  interpretations  be- 
tween "Grant  and  Wilson"  and  "Greeley  and  Brown."  A 
story  turning  on  the  same  style  of  point — ^and  probably  quito 
as  apociyphal — though  the  author  labels  it  ^^ histonque" — is 
told  of  an  army  officers'  mess  in  France.  A  brother-soldier 
from  a  neighboring  detachment  having  come  in,  and  a  cJuim- 
penoise  having  been  uncorked  in  his  honor,  "Gentlemen," 
said  the  guest,  raising  his  glass,  ^'I  am  about  to  propose  a 
toast  at  once  patriotic  and  political."  A  chorus  of  hasty 
ejaculations  and  of  murmurs  at  once  greeted  him.  ''Yes, 
gentlemen,"  coolly  proceeded  the  orator,  "  I  drink  to  a  thing 
which — an  object  that — Bah !  I  will  out  with  it  at  once.  It 
begins  with  an  R  and  ends  with  an  e." 

"  Capital !"  whispers  a  young  lieutenant  of  Bordeaux  pro- 
motion. "  He  proposes  the  E^puhltgue,  without  offending  the 
old  fogies  by  saying  the  word." 

"Nonsense!  He  means  the  Radicale^*  replies  the  other, 
an  old  Captain  Cassel. 

''Upon  my  word,"  says  a  third,  as  he  lifts  his  glass,  "our 
friend  must  mean  la  Royauii'* 


EQUIVOQUX.  71 

"I  Bee!"  cries  a  one-l^ged  yeteran  of  Froscliweiler :  "we 
drink  to  la  Revanche.*' 

In  £ict  the  whole  party  drank  the  toast  heartily,  each  in- 
terpreting it  to  his  liking. 

In  the  hands  ot  a  Swifl,  even  so  triyial  an  instance  might 
be  made  to  point  a  moral  on  the-fibcility  with  which,  alike  in 
theology  and  politics — ^firom  Athanasian  creed  to  Cincinnati 
or  Philadelphia  platform — ^men  comfortably  interpret  to  their 
own  diyerse  likings  some  doctrine  that  ^^  begins  W]|;h  an  R 
and  ends  with  an  e"  and  swallow  it  with  great  unanimity  and 
enthusiasm. 

THE  HANDWRITING  ON  THE  WALL. 

During  the  war  of  the  Rebellion,  a  merchant  of  Milwaukee, 
who  is' an  excellent  hand  at  sketching,  drew  most  admirably 
on  the  wall  of  his  store  a  negro's  head,  and  underneath  it 
wrote,  in  a  manner  worthy  of  the  Delphic  oracle,  "  Dis-Union 
fer  eber."  Whether  the  sentence  meant  loyalty  to  the  Union 
or  not,  was  the  puzzling  question  which  the  gentleman  him- 
self never  answered,  invariably  stating  to  the  inquirers,  "  Read 
it  for  yourselveB,  gentlemen.".  So  from  that  day  to  this,  as 
the  saying  goes,  "no  one  knows  how  dat  darkey  stood  on  de 
war  question." 

Another  question  is  puzzling  the  young  ladies  who  attend 
a  Western  Female  Collie.  It  seems  that  one  of  them  dis- 
covered that  some  person  had  written  on  the  outer  wall  of  the 
oolite,  "  Toung  women  should  set  good  examples ;  for  young 
men  toill  follow  them."  The  question  that  is  now  perplexing 
the  heads  of  several  of  the  young  ladies  of  the  coll^  is, 
whether  the  writer  meant  what  he  or  she  (the  handwriting  was 
rather  masculine)  wrote,  in  a  moral  sense  or  in  an  ironical  one. 

HOW   FRENCH   ACJTRES8E8  AVOID   GIVING   THEIR  AGE. 

A  servant  robbed  Mile.  Mars  of  her  diamonds  one  evening 
while  she  was  at  the  theatre.  Arrested,  he  was  put  upon 
trial,  and  witnesses  were  summoned  to  bear  testimony  to  his 
guilt.     Among  these  was  Mile.  Mars.     She  was  greatly  an- 


72  I5QDIV0QUB. 

noyed  at  tliis,  as,  according  to  the  rules  of  Frencli  practice, 
the  witness,  after  heing  sworn,  gives  his  age.  Now  the  age 
of  Mile.  Mars  was  an  impenetrable  mystery,  for  it  was  a 
theme  she  never  alluded  to,  and  she  possessed  the  art  of 
arresting  time's  flight,  or  at  least  of  repairing  its  ravages  so 
effectually  that  her  &ce  never  revealed  acquaintance  with 
more  than  twenty  years.  She  was  for  some  days  evidently 
depressed;  then,  all  at  once,  her  spirits  rose  as  buoyant  as 
ever.  This  pazzled  the  court — for  people  in  her  eminent 
position  'always  have  a  court;  parasites  are  plenty  in  Paris — 
they  did  not  know  whether  she  had  determined  frankly  to 
confess  her  age,  or  whether  she  had  hit  upon  some  means  of 
eluding  this  thorny  point  of  practice. 

The  day  of  trial  came,  and  she  was  at  her  place.  The 
oourt-room  was  filled,  and  when  she  was  put  in  the  witness- 
box  eveiy  ear  was  bent  towards  her  to  catch  the  age  she  would 
give  as  her  own.  ''Your  name?"  said  the  presiding  judge. 
"Anne  Francoise  Hippolyte  Mars."  "What  is  your  profes- 
sion?" "An  actress  of  the  Frencli  Comedy."  "What  is 
your  age?"  " ty  years."  ."What?"  inquired  the  pre- 
siding judge,  leaning  forward.  "  I  have  just  told  your  honor!" 
replied  the  actress,  giving  one  of  those  irresistible  smiles  which 
won  the  most  hostile  pit.  The  judge  smiled  in  turn,  and 
when  he  asked,  as  he  did  immediately,  "  Where  do  you  live  ?" 
hearty  applause  long  prevented  Mile.  Mars  from  replying. 

Mile.  Cioo  was  summoned  before  a  court  to  bear  witness  in 
favor  of  some  cosmetic  assailed  as  a  poison  by  victims  and 
their  physicians.  All  the  youngest  actresses  of  Paris  were 
there,  and  they  reckoned  upon  a  good  deal  of  merriment  and 
profit  when  Mile.  Cico  came  to  disclose  her  age.  She  was 
called  to  the  stand — sworn — gave  her  name  and  profession. 
When  the  judge  said  "How  old  are  you?"  she  quitted  the 
stand,  went  up  to  the  bench,  stood  on  tip-toe,  and  whispered 
in  the  judge's  ear  the  malicious  mysteiy.  The  bench  smiled, 
and  kept  her  secret 


THE  CENTO.  73 

W)t  (Stnta. 

A  CENTO  primarily  signifies  a  oloak  made  of  patches.  In 
poetxy  it  denotes  a  work  wholly  composed  of  yenesy  or  passages 
promiscnonsly  taken  from  other  authors  and  disposed  in  a  new 
form  or  order,  so  as  to  compose  a  new  work  and  a  new  mean- 
ing. According  to  the  rules  laid  down  by  Ausonius,  the  author 
of  the  celebrated  Nuptial  CentOj  the  pieces  may  be  taken  from 
the  same  poet,  or  from  seyeral ;  and  the  verses  may  be  either 
taken  CDtire,  or  divided  into  two,  one  half  to  be  connected  with 
another  half  taken  elsewhere ;  but  two  verses  are  never  to  be 
taken  together. 

The  Empress  Eudoxia  wrote  the  life  of  Jesus  Christ  in  ocDtos 
taken  firom  Homer.  Proba  Falconia,  and,  long  after  him, 
Alexander  Ross,  both  composed  a  life  of  the  Saviour,  in  the 
same  manner,  from  Virgil.  The  title  of  Ross'  work,  which 
was  republished  in  1769,  was  Yxrgiliua  EvangeUzanSj  nve  Am- 
iorta  Domini  et  SalvatorU  nostri  Jesu  Chri&ti  VirgilianiM 
verlns  et  versibui  descripta. 

Subjoined  are  some  modem  specimens  of  this  literary  con- 
feotioneiy,  called  in  modem  parlance 

MO8AI0  POETBT. 
I  only  know  she  came  and  went  LowdU 

Like  trontleta  in  a  pool ;  Hood. 

Ska  wai  a  phantom  of  delight*  WonUworth. 

And  I  was  like  a  fooL 


«0ne kiss,  dear  maid."  I  said  and  sighed,  OoUridgt. 

"  Got  of  those  lips  nnshorn."  LonjjfMow, 

She  shook  her  ringlets  round  her  head,  Stoddard, 

And  laughed  in  merry  soom.  Tmity9on, 

Bingoat»  wild  hells,  to  the  wild  sky  I  Tmrn^mm, 

Ton  hear  them,  oh  my  heart?  AUe^  Ckay, 

'TIS  twelve  at  night  hy  the  oastle  elock,  Ooleridgo^ 

Beloved,  we  must  part  1  AUee  Gary, 

''Come  hack!  come  haokf  she  cried  in  grie^  GmpMU 

"My  ^yes  are  dim  with  tears—  Bayard  TayUn^ 

How  shall  I  liye  through  all  the  days,  3fn.0§good. 

An  tnrcngh  a  hundred  years  T  T.  &  P^em/ 

7 


74 


THE    CENTO. 


Twu  in  the  prime  of  Bommer  time.  Hood. 

She  blessed  me  with  her  hand;  Hojfi. 

We  strayed  together,  deeply  blest,  Mn.  Edwardt. 

Into  the  Dreaming  Land.  Cornwall. 

The  laughing  bridal  roses  blow,  Patmore, 

To  dress  her  dark  brown  hair ;  Bayard  Taylor. 

No  maiden  may  with  her  compare^  BraiU/ord. 

Most  beantifal,  most  rare !  Read. 

I  clasped  it  on  her  sweet  cold  hand,  Browning. 

The  preoions  golden  link ;  Smith. 

I  oalmed  her  fears,  and  she  was  calm,  Coleridge. 

'*  Drink,  pretty  oreatore,  drink  1"  Wordewortk. 

And  so  I  won  my  Oenevieye,  Coleridge. 

And  walked  in  Paradise ;  Hervey. 

The  furest  thing  that  ever  grew  WordeworiK 

Atween  me  and  the  skies.  Oegood. 


Breathes  there  a  man  with  soul  so  dead, 
Who  never  to  himself  hath  said. 

Shoot  folly  as  it  flies? 
Ah,  more  than  tears  of  blood  oan  tell. 
Are  in  that  word  farewell,  farewell ; 

'Tis  folly  to  be  wise. 

And  what  is  Friendship  but  a  name 
That  bams  on  Etna's  breast  of  flame  ? 

Thus  runs  the  world  away. 
Sweet  is  the  ship  that's  under  sail 
To  where  yon  taper  points  the  vale 

With  hospitable  ray. 

Drink  to  me  only  with  thine  eyes 
Through  cloudless  dimes  and  starry  sUii^ 

My  native  land,  good-night. 
Adieup  adieu,  my  native  shore ; 
'Tis  Greece,  but  living  Greece  no  more. 

Whatever  is  is  right 

Oh,  ever  thus  from  childhood's  hour. 
Daughter  of  Jove,  relentless  power, 
In  russet  mantle  clad. 


THE  CBNTO.  75 

The  rooks-  and  hollow  movntaiiis  nmg 
While  yet  in  early  Greeoe  she  snug, 
I'm  pleased,  and  yet  Tm  sad. 

In  soeptred  pall  oome  sweeping  by, 
Oj  thon,  the  nymph  with  placid  eye, 

By  Philip's  warlike  son ; 
And  on  the  light  fantastic  toe 
Thos  hand- in-hand  through  life  well  go; 

Good-night  to  Marmion. 

LIFE. 

1. — ^Wby  all  this  toU  for  triumphs  of  an  hour? 
3. — Life's  a  short  summer,  man  a  flower. 
8. — By  turns  we  catch  the  vital  breath  and  di»— 
4. — The  cradle  and  the  tomb,  alas  I  so  nigh. 

5.— To  be  is  better  far  than  not  to  be, 

6.— Though  all  man's  life  may  seem  a  tragedy. 

7. — But  light  earee  speak  when  mighty  griefs  are  dumb; 
8. — The  bottom  is  but  shallow  whence  they  oome. 
9. — ^Your  fate  is  but  the  common  fate  of  all, 
10. — Unmingled  joys,  here,  to  no  man  befall. 

11. — ^Nature  to  each  allots  his  proper  sphere, 
12. — Fortune  makes  folly  her  peculiar  oare. 
13. — Custom  does  not  often  reason  overrule 
14. — ^And  throw  a  cruel  sunshine  on  a  fool. 

15. — Live  well,  how  long  or  short  permit,  to  heaven ; 
16. — ^They  who  forgive  most,  shall  be  most  forgiven. 

17. — Sin  may  be  clasped  so  close  we  cannot  see  its  faoe« 
18. — ^Vile  intercourse  where  virtue  has  not  place. 

19. — Then  keep  each  passion  down,  however  dear, 
20. — Thou  pendulum,  betwixt  a  smile  and  tear; 

21. — Her  sensual  snares  let  faithless  pleasure  lay, 
22. — With  craft  and  skill,  to  ruin  and  betray. 

28. — Soar  not  too  high  to  fall,  but  stop  to  rise ; 
24. — ^We  masters  grow  of  all  that  we  despise. 

25. — Oh  then  renounce  that  impious  self-esteem ; 
26. — Riches  have  wings  and  g^randeur  is  a  dream. 

27. — ^Think  not  ambition  wise,  because  'tis  brave^ 
2B« — ^The  paths  of  glory  lead  but  to  the  grave. 


76 


THE  CENTO. 


29.— What  U  ftmbition  ?    'Tis  a  glorious  cheat, 
80. — Only  destruotire  to  the  brave  and  great 

81. — ^What's  all  the  gaadj  glitter  of  a  orown  ? 
82. — The  waj  to  bliss  lies  not  on  beds  of  down. 

88. — How  long  we  live,  not  years  but  actions  tell; 
84. — That  man  lives  twice  who  lives  the  first  life  welL 

36. — Make  then,  while  yet  ye  may,  your  God  your  friend, 
36. — ^Whom  Christians  worship,  yet  not  comprehend. 

87. — The  trust  that's  given  guard,  and  to  yourself  be  just; 
38. — For,  live  we  how  we  can,  yet  die  we  must. 


1.  Toung.   2.  Dr.  Johnson.   3.  Pope.  4.  Prior.   5.  SewelL   6.  Spenser.   7.  DanleL 
8.  Sir  Walter  Baleigh.   9.  Longfellow.   10.  Southwell.  11.  Congreve.    12.  Chnrchin. 

18.  Rochester.   14.  Armstrong.   15.  Milton.   16.  Bally.   17.  Trench.    18.  Somerrille. 

19.  Thompson.  20.  Bjron.  21.  Smollet.  22.  Crabbe.  28.  Masdnger.  2i.  Crowlej. 
26.  Seattle.  26.  Oowper.  27.  Sir  Walter  Davenant.  28.  Grey.  29.  WUlls.  80.  Addi- 
son.    31.  Dryden.    22.  Francis  Qnarles.     83.  Watkins.    34.  Herzick.    86.  William 

36.  HilL    87.  Dana.    38.  Shakespeare. 


CENTO  FROM   POPE. 

'Tis  education  forms  the  common  mind ; 

A  mighty  maze  1  but  not  wilhout  a  plan. 
Ask  of  the  learned  the  way  ?    The  learned  are  blind; 

The  proper  study  of  mankind  is  man. 

A  little  learning  is  a  dangerous  thing ; 

Some  have  at  first  for  wits,  then  poets  passed — 
See  from  each  clime  the  learned  their  incense  bring, 

For  rising  merit  will  buoy  up  at  last. 

Tell  (for  you  can)  what  is  it  to  be  wise. — 

Virtue  alone  is  happiness  below ;  "  " 

Honor  and  shame  from  no  condition  rise,  *'  ** 

And  all  our  knowledge  is  ourselves  to  know.  "  ** 

Who  shall  decide  when  doctors  disagree  ?  Moral  E—ay, 

One  truth  is  dear,  whatever  is,  is  right  Eway  on  Mem, 

Since  men  inteirpret  texts,  why  should  not  we  January  and  May. 

Bead  them  by  day  &nd  meditate  by  night  ?  Ewtay  on  OriHeiam, 


Moral  EB9ay9, 
Eway  on  Mam* 


Ettayon  Critieiim, 


Ettay  on  Man, 


BIBLICAL  CENTO. 

Cling  to  the  Mighty  One,  Ps.  Izxzix.  19. 

Cling  in  thy  grief;  Heb.  zii.  11. 

Cling  to  the  Holy  One,  Ps.  zzziz.  18. 

He  gives  relief;  Ps.  Izzzvi.  7. 


THlt   Cl£NTO. 


ll 


Oliag  to  the  Qnetooa  Om^ 

Cling  in  Uiy  pain; 
ding  to  the  Faithftd  One, 

He  will  instain. 

CUng  to  the  Liring  Onc^ 

ding  in  thy  woe; 
Cling  to  the  LoTing  One^ 

Through  all  below: 
CUng  to  the  Pardoning  One,  * 

He  fpeaketh  peace ; 
CUng  to  the  Healing  One, 

Angaiah  ahalleeaae. 

CUng  to  the  Bleeding  One, 

Cling  to  HiB  side; 
Cling  to  the  Risen  One, 

In  Him  abide; 
ding  to  the  Coming  One, 

Hope  shall  arise; 
Cling  to  the  Reigning  OnO; 

Joy  Ughts  thine  eyes. 


Ps.  oztL  a. 
PS.  It.  4. 
1  Thess.  T.  U. 
Ps.  zzTiii.a. 

Heb.Ty.26. 
Pb.1zzztL7. 
1  John  iT.  18. 
Rom.  Tia  88,  St. 
Isa.  It.  7. 
John  xiT.  ST. 
Bzod.  XT.  28. 

PB.0ZlTiL8. 

1  John  L  7. 
John  XX.  27. 
Rom.  tL  9. 
John  XT.  4. 
Rot.  xxiL  20. 
Titos  iL  18. 
Ps.  xoTii.  1. 
Ps.  XTi  11. 


THE  RETURN  OF  ISRAEL. 
I  win  smely  gather  the  remnant  of  IsraeL — ^Mioah  iL  12. 

And  the  Temple  again  shall  be  bnilt» 

And  filled  as  it  was  of  yore; 
And  the  burden  be  lift  from  the  heart  of  the  world. 

And  the  nations  all  adore; 
Prayers  to  the  throne  of  HeaTen, 

Morning  and  oto  shall  rise, 
And  onto  and  not  of  the  Lamb 

Shall  be  the  saoriflee.^FJESTU8. 

In  many  strange  and  Gentile  lands  Mieah  t.  8. 

Where  Jacob's  scattered  sons  are  driTen,  Jer.  xxiiL  8. 

With  longing  eyes  and  lifted  hands,  Lsm.  L  17. 

They  wait  Messiah's  sign  fh)m  heaTen.  Matth.  xxIt.  80l 

The  enp  of  ftiry  they  baTo  qnaffed,  Isa.  IL  17. 

Tin  fainted  like  a  weary  flook ;  Isa.  IL  20. 

Bat  HeaTen  wiU  soon  withdraw  the  draughty  Isa.  IL  22. 

And  giTO  them  waters  firom  the  roek.  Exod.  xviL  8. 

What  though  their  bodies,  as  the  ground,  Isa.  IL  28. 

Th'  Assyrian  long  has  trodden  o'er !  Isa.  liL  4. 

Zion,  a  eaptiTO  daughter  bound,  Isa.  UL  2. 

ShaU  rise  to  know  her  wrong  no  more.  Isa.  Ut.  8, 4. 


78 


MAOARONIG   VERSE. 


The  reil  is  passing  from  her  eyes,  2  Cor.  iiu  18. 

The  King  of  Nations  she  shall  see;  Zech.  zir.  9. 

Judea !  from  the  dust  arise !  Isau  IIL  8. 

Thy  ransomed  sons  return  to  thee!  Jer.  zzxi*  17. 

How  gorgeous  shall  thy  land  appear,  Isa.  liv.  12. 

When,  like  the  jewels  of  a  bride,  Isa.  xliz.  18. 

Thy  broken  bands,  all  gathered  there^  Zeoh.  zL  14^ 

Shall  olothe  thy  hilli  on  every  side  t  Isa.  zliz.  ISL 

When  on  thy  mount,  as  prophets  taught,  Isiu  zzIt.  23. 

Shall  shine  the  throne  of  Darid's  Son ;  Esek.  xxxrii  22. 

The  Gospel's  latest  triumphs  brought  Mioah  ir.  2. 

Where  first  its  glorious  oonrse  begun.  Luke  zzir.  47. 

Gentiles  and  Kings,  who  thee  oppressed,  Isa.  Iz.  14^ 

Shall  to  thy  gates  with  praise  repair;  Isa.  Iz.  IL 

A  fold  of  flooks  shall  Sharon  rest,  Isa.  Izr.  10. 

And  dustered  fruits  its  vineyard  bear.  Joel  IL  22. 

Then  shall  an  Eden  mom  illume  Isa.  li.  3. 

Earth's  finitfiil  vales^  without  a  thorn :  Isa.  Ir.  13. 

The  wilderness  rqjoioe  and  bloom,  Isa.  zzzv.  1. 

And  nations  in  a  day  be  bom.  Zech.  iL  IL 

The  LoBD  his  holy  arm  makes  bare;  Isa.  liL  10. 

Zion !  thy  oheerftil  songs  employ  I  Zeph.  iiL  14. 

Thy  robes  of  bridal  beanty  wear,  Isa.  UL  1. 

And  shout,  ye  ransomed  raee,  for  Joy  t  Isa.  IiL  9. 


^ocatunu  Vtvw. 


"A  TREATISE  OF  WINE." 

The  following  specimen  of  macaronic  yerse,  from  the  com- 
monplace book  of  Richard  Hilles,  who  died  in  1535,  is  probably 
the  best  of  its  kind  extant.  The  soriptoral  allasions  and  the 
large  intermixture  of  Latin  evidently  point  to  the  refectory  of 
some  genial  monastery  as  its  source : — 

The  best  tree  if  ye  take  intent^ 

Inter  ligna  fruetifera. 
Is  the  Tine  tree  by  good  argnman^ 

Dulcia  ferens  pondera. 


MAOABONIC  TEK8S.  79 

Saint  Lake  tafth  in  his  Gofpal, 

Arbor  firaotn  noicitor, 
The  Tine  beareth  wine  ai  I  yon  telly 

Hino  aliifl  prMponitnr. 

The  first  that  planted  the  vineyard, 

Manet  in  oceli  gandio» 
Sis  name  was  Noe,  as  I  am  learned, 

Geneeis  teetimonio. 

Ch>d  gare  nnto  him  knowledge  and  wit, 

A  qno  prooednnt  omnia. 
First  of  the  gmpe  wine  Ibr  to  fet. 

Propter  magna  mystaria. 

The  first  mJraele  that  Jesos  did. 

Brat  in  vino  mbeoy 
In  Oana  of  GalUee  it  betide, 

Testante  Brangelio. 

He  ohasfsd  water  into  wfam, 

Aqnm  robesennt  hydriss. 
And  bade  giro  it  to  AroheteUn% 

Ut  gostet  tone  primarie. 

lake  as  the  rose  exoeedeth  aU  flovsff% 

Inter  ennota  floriger% 
80  doth  wine  all  other  Uqners^ 

Dans  mnlta  salntifeEa. 

DaTid,  the  prophet,  saith  that  wine 

Lntifioat  oor  hom]ni% 
It  maketh  men  merry  if  it  be  fine^ 

Est  ergo  digni  nomlnis. 

It  nonrisheth  age  if  it  be  good, 

Faoit  at  esset  Javenis, 
It  gendereth  in  ns  gentle  blood. 

Nam  yenas  pargat  sangainia. 

By  all  these  eanaes  ye  shonld  think 

Qom  snnt  rationabiles, 
That  good  wine  should  be  best  of  all  drink 

Inter  potas  potabiles. 

Wine  drinkers  all,  with  great  honor. 

Semper  landate  Dominam, 
The  whieh  sendeth  the  good  liqnor 

Propter  salatem  hominnnL 


80  MACA&ONIC  VERSB. 

Plenty  to  all  that  lore  good  wine, 

Donet  Dens  largiiu, 
And  bring  them  some  when  they  go  heiuN^ 

Ubi  non  sitient  amplius. 

THE  SUITOR  WITH  NINE  TONGUES. 

Ti  ow  Xcyuy  fmpoKtWf 

Now  that  this  flokle  heart  is  won  ? 

Me  semper  amataram  te 

And  never,  never,  never  stray? 

HerssohHtiehen,  Da  verlangst  la  vial 

When  yon  demand  so  strict  a  seaL 

N'est-oe  pas  asses  que  je  t'aime 

Without  remaining  still  the  same? 

Gy  daarom  geeft  n  liefde  niet 

If  others  may  not  have  a  treat. 

May  largo  es  mi  coraion, 

And  fifty  holds  as  well  as  one. 

Non  far  neir  acqaa  baoo  ohe 

I  am  resolved  to  have  my  way ; 

Im  lo  boteaoh  atta  bi, 

I'm  willing  qaite  to  set  yon  ftee : 

Be  you  content  with  half  my  time. 

As  half  in  English  is  my  rhyme. 


MAQINN  8  ALTERNATIONS — HORACE,  EPODE  IL 

Blest  man,  who  far  from  busy  ham, 

Ut  prisoa  gens  mortalium, 

Whistles  his  team  afield  with  glee 

Bolutas  omni  fenore : 

He  lives  in  peaoe,  from  battles  tnb, 

Neo  horret  iratum  mare ; 

And  shans  the  forum,  and  the  gay 

Potentiorum  limina. 

Therefore  to  vines  of  purple  gloss 

Altas  maritat  populos, 

Or  pruning  off*  the  boughs  unfit 

Felioiores  inserit. 

•  •  •  • 

Alphius  the  usurer,  babbled  thus. 

Jam  jam  futarus  mstious. 

Called  in  his  oast  on  th'Ides — ^bnt  he 

Qnssrit  Ealendis  ponere. 


HACABONIC  VBBSS.  81 

OONTSNTI  ABEAMUS. 

Come,  joeund  friends,  a  bottle  brin^ 

And  pnah  auronnd  the  jomm: 
We'll  talk  and  Uagh,  and  quaff  and  sing^ 

None  snayinm  amomm. 

While  we  are  in  a  merry  mood, 

Come,  Bit  down  ad  bibendnm; 
And  if  dull  oare  ihoold  dare  intrude^ 

We'll  to  the  devil  send  him. 

A  moping  elf  I  oan't  endure 

While  I  have  ready  rhino; 
And  all  life's  pleasures  centre  still 

In  venere  ao  rino. 

Be  merry  then,  my  friends,  I  pray, 

And  pass  your  time  in  jooo, 
For  it  is  pleasant,  as  they  say, 

Desipere  in  loco. 

He  that  lores  not  a  young  lass 

Is  sure  an  arrant  stnltus, 
And  he  that  will  not  take  a  glass 

Deserres  to  be  sepultus. 

Pleasure,  music,  Ioto  and  wine 

Bee  Talde  sunt  jueundsB, 
And  pretty  maidens  look  divine. 

Provided  ut  sunt  mundsB. 
I  hate  a  snarling,  surly  fool. 

Qui  latrat  sicut  oanis. 
Who  mopes  and  ever  eats  by  ruk^ 

Brinks  water  and  eats  panis. 

Oive  me  the  man  thaf  s  always  free^ 

Qui  flnit  moUi  more. 
The  cares  of  life,  what'er  they  be; 

Whose  motto  still  is  "  Spero." 

Death  will  turn  us  soon  from  henoe, 

Nigerrimas  ad  sedes; 
And  all  our  lands  and  all  our  penoe 

Bitabunt  tunc  heredes. 

Why  should  we  then  forbear  to  sport  ? 

Bum  vivamus,  vivamus, 
And  when  the  Fates  shall  out  us  down 

Content!  abeamus. 


82 


BfACABONIG  VERSX. 

FLT-LEAF  80BIBBLINQ. 

iBte  liber  pertinet, 
And  bear  it  well  in  mind. 

Ad  me,  Johannem  Rixbnun, 
Bo  ooorteotts  and  so  kind. 

Quem  si  ego  perdam. 
And  by  yon  it  shall  be  found, 

Redde  mihi  itemm, 
Your  fame  I  then  will  sound. 

Bed  si  mihi  redeas, 
Then  blessed  thou  shalt  be^ 

Bt  ago  tibi  gratias 
Whenever  I  thee  see. 


THE  CAT  AND  THE  BATB. 

Felis  sedit  by  a  hole, 
Intentus  he,  eum  omni  soul, 

Prendere  rats 
Mice  oucurrerunt  trans  the  floor^ 
In  numero  duo,  tres,  or  more— 

ObUti  cats. 

Felis  saw  them,  oeulis; 

« 111  have  them,"  inquit  he,  "I 

Dnm  ludunt." 
Tunc  iUe  crept  toward  the  group, 
''Habeam,"  dixit,  ''good  rat  soup— 

Pingnes  sunt" 

Mice  continued  all  ludere, 
Intenti  they  in  ludum  vere, 

Gaudenter. 
Tunc  rushed  the  felis  into  them, 
Bt  tore  them  omnes  limb  from  limb« 

Violenter. 

MORAL. 

Mures  omnes,  nunc  be  shy, 
Et  aurem  prsdbe  mihi, 

Benigne. 
Bit  hoc  satis — "rerbum  sat," 
Avoid  a  whopping  big  tom-cat 

Btndiose. 


MACARONIC  VEBSB.  83 

POLYGLOT  INSCRIPTION. 

The  followiiig  advertisement  in  five  langnages,  is  inscribed 
on  the  window  of  a  public  house  in  Germany: — 

In  qnesta  eua  trovarete 

TouiM  les  ohoses  que  Toas  soahaites; 

Tiniim  bonum,  oostaa,  camel, 

Neat  post-ohaise,  and  hone  and  hamen. 

Boor,  ifi^ft,  «X»««,  4pw». 

PARTING   ADDRESS  TO  A  FRIEND, 

Written  by  a  German  gentleman  on  the  termination  of  a  very 
agreeable,  but  brief  aoquaintanoe. 

I  often  wished  I  had  a  friend, 

Dem  ioh  mieh  anreitranen  kSnnf  , 

A  friend  in  whom  I  ooold  eonfide^ 

Der  mit  mir  theilte  Frond  nnd  Leid ; 

Had  I  the  riohee  of  Girard— 

leh  theilte  mit  ihm  Hans  nnd  Heerd; 

For  what  is  gold  ?  'tis  bat  a  passing  metal, 

Der  Honker  hoi'  fitr  mioh  den  ganien  BetteL 

Could  I  pnrohase  the  world  to  lire  in  it  alon% 

Ioh  gi&V  dafilr  nioht  eine  hohle  Bohn'; 

I  thought  one  time  in  yon  I'd  find  that  friendt 

Und  glanhte  sohon  mein  Sehnen  h&t  ein  End; 

Alas  I  your  friendship  lasted  but  in  sight, 

Doch  meine  grenset  an  die  Ewigkeit. 

AM  RHEIN. 

Oh,  the  Rhin»— the  Rhine— the  Rhine— 
Comme  o'est  beau  1  wie  sohdn  I  ohe  beUo  I 

He  who  quafis  thy  Lnft  nnd  Wein, 
MorUen!    is  a  Ineky  feUow. 


How  I  loTO  thy  mshing  i 

Groves  of  ash  and  biroh  and  hasel. 
From  Sohaffhausen's  rainbow  beams 

Jusqu'ik  l'6oho  d'Oberwesel! 

Oh,  que  j'aime  thy  Brfichen  when 
The  crammed  DampfschUflT  gayly  pasMsI*' 


84  MACABONIC  VBBSS. 


Love  the  bronzed  pipes  of  thy  i 
And  the  bronzed  oheeka  of  thy  iMses  I 

Oh,  qne  j'aime  the  <<oui/'  the  '<bah/' 
From  thy  motley  crowds  that  flow. 

With  the  universal  '^ja,' 
And  the  allgemeine  "so"! 


THE  DEATH  OF  THE  SEA  SERPENT. 

Anna  rimmqae  oano,  qui  first  in  Monongahela 

Tamally  sqnampushed  the  sarpent,  mittens  horrentia  tella. 

Musa,  look  sharp  with  your  Banjo !    I  guess  to  relate  this  eyent,  I 

Shall  need  all  the  aid  you  can  give;  so  nunc  aspirate  oanentL 

Mighty  slick  were  the  ressels  progressing,  Jactata  per  ssquora  ventis, 

But  the  brow  of  the  skipper  was  sad,  cum  solicitudine  mentis; 

For  whales  had  been  scarce  in  those  parts,  and  the  skipper,  so  long  as 

he'd  known  her, 
Ne'er  had  gathered  less  oil  in  a  cruise  to  gladden  the  heart  of  her  owner. 
"Dam  the  whales,"  cries  the  skipper  at  length,  "with  a  telescope  forte 

videbo 
Aut  pisces,  ant  terras."    While  speaking,  just  two  or  three  points  on  the 

lea  bow. 
He  saw  ooming  towards  them  as  fast  as  though  to  a  combat  'twould 

tempt  'em, 
A  monstrum  horrendum  informe  (qui  lumen  was  shortly  ademptnm). 
On  the  taffrail  up  jumps  in  a  hurry,  dux  fortis,  and  seising  a  trumpet, 

Blows  a  blast  that  would  waken  the  dead,  mare  turbat  et  aera  rumpit 

"Tumble  up  all  you  lubbers,"  he  cries,  "tumble  up,  for  careering  be- 
fore us 
Is  the  real  old  sea  sarpent  himself,  oristis  maculisque  decorus." 
"  Consam  it,"  cried  one  of  the  sailors,  "  if  e'er  we  provoke  him  hell  kill  us, 
He'U  oerUinly  chaw  up  bos  morsu,  et  longis,  implexibus  illos." 
Loud  laughs  the  bold  skipper,  and  quick  premit  alto  corde  dolorem  ; 
(If  he  does  feel  like  running,  he  knows  it  won't  do  to  betray  it  before  'em). 
"  0  sooii ",  inquit     "  I'm  sartin  you're  not  the  fellers  to  funk,  or 
Shrink  from  the  durem  oertamen,  whose  fathers  lit  bravely  at  Bunker 
You,  who  have  waged  with  the  bears,  and  the  buffalo,  pr€elia  dura, 
Down  to  the  freshets,  and  licks  of  our  own  free  enlightened  Missourer ; 
You  could  whip  your  own  weight,  oatulns  sasvis  sine  telo. 
Get  your  eyes  skinned  in  a  twinkling,  ot  ponite  tela  phsesello !" 
Talia  voce  refert,  curisqne  ingentibus  SBger, 
Marshals  his  cute  little  band,  now  panting  their  foes  to  beleaguer 
Swiftly  they  lower  the  boats,  and  swiftly  each  man  at  the  oar  is;, 
Exoipe  Britanni  timidi  duo,  virque  ooloris. 


CONCATENATION  OB  CHAIN  V£BSX.         85 

(Blaokskin,  70a  know,  never  feels,  how  sweet,  'tis  pro  patria  mori ; 

Orid  had  him  in  view  when  he  said, ''  Niminm  ne  orede  oolori.") 

Now  swiftly  they  puU  towards  the  monster,  who  seeing  the  oatter  and 

gig  nigl»> 
Glares  at  them  with  terrible  eyes,  snffeotis  sanguine  et  igni, 
And,  nerer  oonceiying  their  chief  will  so  quickly  deal  him  a  floorer. 
Opens  wide  to  reoeire  them  at  onoe,  his  Unguis  Tibrantibis  ora ; 
But  just  as  he's  licking  his  lips,  and  gladly  preparing  to  taste  'em. 
Straight  into  his  eyeball  the  skipper  stridentem  coi^ioit  hastam. 
Straight  as  he  feels  in  his  eyeball  the  lance,  growing  mightly  sulky. 
At  'em  he  oomes  in  a  rage,  ora  minax,  lingua  trusuloa. 
**  Stam  all,"  cry  the  sailors  at  once,  for  they  think  he  has  certainly 

oaught  'em, 
PrsDsentemqne  viris  intentant  omnia  mortem. 
But  the  bold  skipper  exclaims,  "  0  terque  quaterque  beati ! 
Now  with  a  will  dare  riam,  when  I  want  yon,  be  only  parati; 
This  boss  feels  like  raising  his  hair,  and  in  spite  of  his  scaly  old  cortex, 
Pull  soon  you  shall  see  that  his  corpse  rapidus  7orat  sequore  vortex." 
Hoc  ait,  and  choosing  a  lance :  ''  With  this  one  I  think  I  shall  hit  it, 
He  eries,  and  straight  into  his  mouth,  ad  intima  viscera  mittit. 
Screeches  the  creature  in  pain,  and  writhes  till  the  sea  is  commotum. 
As  if  all  its  waves  had  been  lashed  in  a  tempest  per  Eurum  et  Notum. 
Interea  terrible  shindy  Neptunus  sensit,  et  alto 
Prospioiens  sadly  around,  wiped  his  eye  with  the  cnlT  of  his  paletOt; 
And,  mad  at  his  favorite's  fate,  of  oaths  uttered  one  or  two  thousand. 
Such  as  ^  Corpo  di  Baoeo  I  Meherole !   Saere !    Mille   Tonnerres  !    Poti- 

Unsend !" 
But  the  skipper,  who  thought  it  was  time  to  this  terrible  fight  dare  finem. 
With  a  scalping-knife  jumps  on  the  neck  of  the  snake  seoat  et  dextr& 

orinem, 
And  hurling  the  sealp  in  the  air,  half  mad  with  delight  to  possess  it, 
Shouts  "  Dam  it — I've  fixed  up  his  flint,  for  in  ventos  vita  recessit  1" 


©flttcatenatlon  ur  Ciiain  Vttm. 

LASPHBISE's   NOVELTIES. 

Lasphrise,  a  French  poet  of  considerable  merit,  claims  the 
invention  of  several  singalarities  in  verse,  and  among  them  the 
following,  in  which  it  will  be  found  that  the  last  word  of  every 
line  is  the  first  word  of  the  following  line : — 


86         OONCATBNATION  OB  CHAIN  VSBSX. 

Falloit-it  que  le  eiel  me  rendit  amoareaz, 
AmoureaoXy  jouissant  d'une  beauts  oiainiiTey 
Craintive  4  reoeyoir  doaoeur  ezoesrive, 
Exeessire  aa  plaisir  qai  rend  Tamant  hearenz  f 
Heureaz  si  nous  aviona  qnelques  paisibles  lieox, 
Lieuz  oik  plus  snrement  Tami  fiddle  arriye, 
Arriye  eans  soupcon  de  qnelque  ami  attentiye, 
Attentiye  k  yooloir  nous  sorprendre  tons  denz. 

Subjoined  are  examples  in  our  own  yeniacular  :— 

TO  DEATH. 
The  longer  life,  the  more  offence ; 

The  more  offence,  the  greater  pain; 
The  greater  pain,  the  less  defence; 

The  lees  defence,  the  leeser  gain— 
The  loss  of  gain  long  ill  doth  tiy, 
Wherefore,  come,  death,  and  let  me  die. 

The  shorter  life,  less  count  I  find ; 

The  less  account,  the  sooner  made; 
The  count  soon  made,  the  merrier  mind ; 

The  merrier  mind  doth  thought  inyadO'^ 
Short  life,  in  truth,  this  thing  doth  try, 
Wherefore^  come,  death,  and  let  me  dleu 

Come,  gentle  death,  the  ebb  of  care; 

The  ebb  of  care  the  flood  of  life ; 
The  flood  of  life,  the  Joyfiil  fare; 

The  joyful  fare,  the  end  of  strife— 
The  end  of  strife  that  thing  wish  1, 
Wherefore,  come,  death  and  let  me  die^ 

TRUTH. 

Nerye  thy  soul  with  doctrines  noble^ 

Noble  in  the  walks  of  Time, 
Time  that  leads  to  an  eternal. 

An  eternal  life  sublime ; 
Life  sublime  in  moral  beauty. 

Beauty  that  shall  ever  be, 
Eyer  be  to  lure  thee  onward, 

Onward  to  the  fountain  free ; 
Free  to  every  eamost  seeker, 

Seeker  at  the  Fount  of  Youth, 
Youth  exultant  in  it£  beauty, 

Beauty  found  in  the  quest  of  Truth. 


OONOATENATION  0&  CHAIN  VSSSX.  87 


T&TINQ   BKYINQ. 


Long  I  looked  into  the  sky. 

Sky  aglow  with  gleaming  stars. 
Stars  that  stream  their  ooarsee  high. 

High  and  grand,  those  golden  oars. 
Cars  that  erer  keep  their  track, 

Track  ontraoed  by  human  ray, 
Ray  that  tones  the  xodiao, 

Zodiac  with  milky-way, 
Milky-way  where  worlds  are  sown, 

Sown  like  sands  along  the  sea. 
Sea  whose  tide  and  tone  e'er  own, 

Own  a  feeling  to  be  free, 
Free  to  leare  its  lowly  place, 

Place  to  proye  with  yonder  spheres^ 
Spheres  that  traoe  athrongh  all  spaoe^ 

Space  and  years — unspoken  years. 


A  RINGING  SONG. 

The  foUowing  gem  is  from  an  old  play  of  Shakspeare's 
tune,  called  The  True  Trojans: — 

The  sky  is  glad  that  stars  abore 

Do  give  a  brighter  splendor ; 
The  stars  unfold  their  flaming  gold. 

To  make  the  ground  more  tender: 
The  ground  doth  send  a  fragrant  smeU^ 

That  air  may  be  the  sweeter ; 
The  air  doth  charm  the  sweUing  seaa 

With  pretty  chirping  metre; 
The  sea  with  rirers'  water  doth 

Feed  plants  and  flowers  so  dainty ; 
The  plants  do  yield  their  fmitAil  seed. 

That  beasts  may  live  in  plenty ; 
The  beasts  do  give  both  food  and  cloth. 

That  men  high  Jutc  may  honor; 
And  so  the  World  runs  merrily  round. 

When  Peace  doth  smile  upon  her! 
Oh,  then,  then  oh !  oh  then,  then  ob  I 

This  Jubilee  last  forever ; 
That  foreign  spite,  or  civil  fight, 

Our  quiet  trouble  never ! 


88  BOUTS  RIM^S. 


Bouts  Rimes^  or  Rhyming  Ends,  afford  oonsiderable  i 
ment.  They  are  said  by  Goujet  to  have  been  inyented  by 
Dulot,  a  French  poet,  who  had  a  custom  of  preparing  the 
rhymes  of  sonnets,  leaving  them  to  be  filled  up  at  leisure. 
Having  been  robbed  of  his  papers,  he  was  regretting  the  loss 
of  three  hundred  sonnets.  His  friends  were  astonished  that 
he  had  written  so  many  of  which  they  had  never  heard.  *^  They 
were  blank  sonnets/'  said  he^  and  then  explained  the  mystexy 
by  describing  his  '<  Bouts  Rim^s."  The  idea  appeared  ridicu- 
kmsly  amusing,  and  it  soon  became  a  fashionable  pastime  to 
oolleot  some  of  the  most  difficult  rhymes,  and  fill  up  the  lines. 
An  example  is  appended : — 

nettle, 

pains. 

mettle. 

remains. 


lebeL 

graters. 

welL 

The  rhymes  may  be  thus  completed  :^- 

Tender-handed  stroke  a  nettle. 

And  it  stings  yon  for  yonr  paini ; 
Grasp  it  Uke  a  man  of  metae, 

And  it  soft  as  silk  remains. 
Tis  the  same  with  oommon  natoiei^ 

Use  them  kindl  j,  they  rebel ; 
Bnt  be  rongh  as  natmeg-graters, 

And  the  rogaes  obey  yon  well. 

A  sprightly  young  belle,  who  was  an  admirer  of  poetry,  would 
often  tease  her  beau,  who  had  made  some  acquaintance  with  the 
muses,  to  write  verses  for  her.  One  day,  becoming  quite  im- 
portunate, she  would  take  no  denial.  "  Come,  pray,  do  now 
write  some  poetry  for  me — ^won't  you  ?    Til  help  you  out    FU 


BOUTS  RIMfiS.  89 

fornisli  you  with  rhymes  if  you  wOl  make  lines  for  them* 

Her«  now : — 

plesM^  moan, 

toue,  bone." 

He  at  length  good-humoredly  complied|  and  filled  up  the 
measure  as  follows : — 

To  a  fonn  thmt  b  fiwlUeu,  a  fiMe  that  most— plMM^ 
Is  added  a  rastleflf  desire  to— tease ; 
0,  how  my  heid  fate  I  should  eirer  be— moan, 
Oonld  I  bat  beUeve  she'd  be  bone  of  mj — boael 

Mr.  Bogarty  a  young  man  of  Albany,  who  died  in  1826,  at 
the  age  of  twenty-one,  displayed  astonishing  facility  in  im- 
promptu writing. 

It  was  good-naturedly  hinted  on  one  occasion  that  his  **  im- 
promptus" were  prepared  beforehand,  and  he  was  asked  if  he 
would  submit  to  the  application  of  a  test  of  his  poetic  abilities. 
He  promptly  acceded,  and  a  most  difficult  one  was  immediately 
proposed. 

Among  his  intimate  friends  were  Col.  J.  6.  Van  Schaick 
and  Charles  Fenno  Hoffman,  both  of  whom  were  present  Said 
Van  Schaick,  taking  up  a  copy  of  Byron,  <'Tbe  name  of  Lydia 
Kane"  (a  lady  distinguished  for  her  beauty  and  cleverness, 
who  died  a  few  years  ago,  but  who  was  then  just  blushing  into 
womanhood)  *^  has  in  it  the  same  number  of  letters  as  a  stanza 
of  Childe  Harold  has  lines :  write  them  down  in  a  column." 
They  were  so  written  by  Bogart,  Hoffman,  and  himself. 
*< Now,"  he  continued,  ''I  will  open  the  poem  at  random ;  and 
for  the  ends  of  the  lines  in  Miss  Lydia's  Acrostic  shall  be  used 
the  words  ending  those  of  the  verse  on  which  my  finger  may 
rest."     The  stanza  thus  selected  was  this : — 

And  mnst  they  fall,  the  yonng,  the  proud,  the  brave^ 

To  swell  one  bloated  chief's  unwholesome  reign? 

No  step  between  submission  and  a  grare  ? 

The  rise  of  rapine  and  the  fall  of  Spain  ? 

And  doth  the  Power  that  man  adores  ordain 

Their  doom,  nor  heed  the  suppliant's  appeal  ? 

Is  all  that  desperate  valor  acts  in  yain? 

And  counsel  sage,  and  patriotic  seal, 

The  Teteran's  skill,  youth's  fire,  and  manhood's  heart  of  steslf 
8* 


90  BOUTS  RIMES. 

The  following  stanza  was  composed  by  Bogart  within  ihe 
snooeeding  ten  minutes, — ^the  period  fixed  in  a  wager, — finished 
before  his  companions  had  reached  a  fourth  line,  and  read  to 
them  as  here  presented  :* — 

L  OYtHj  and  lored,  o'er  the  nnoonqaered  brare 

Y  onr  obuins  resistless,  matchless  girl,  shall  reign! 

D  ear  as  the  mother  holds  her  infant's  grare 

I  n  Lore's  own  region,  warm,  romantie  Spain ! 

A  nd  shonld  yonr  fate  to  oonrt  your  steps  ordain, 

K  ings  wovld  in  rain  to  regal  pomp  appeal, 

A  nd  lordly  bishops  kneel  to  yon  in  rain, 

N  or  valor's  fire,  law's  power,  nor  chnrohman'i  seal 
B  ndnre  'gainst  lore's  (time's  up  I)  untarnished 


The  French  also  amuse  themselves  with  bouts  rimis  retaumSSf 
in  which  the  rhymes  are  taken  from  some  piece  of  poetry,  but 
the  order  in  which  they  occur  is  reversed.  The  following  ex- 
ample is  from  the  album  of  a  Parisian  lady  of  literary  celebrity, 
the  widow  of  one  of  the  Crimean  heroes.  The  original  poem  is 
by  Alfred  de  Musset,  the  retoum4s  by  Marshal  Pelissier,  who 
improvised  it  at  the  lady's  request.  In  the  translation  which 
ensues,  the  reversed  rhymes  are  carefully  preserved. 

BT  DB  KV88BT. 

Qnand  la  Aigitire  esp6ranoe 
Noos  ponsse  le  conde  en  passan^ 
Pals  i  tire  d'ailes  s'61anoe 
Et  se  retonme  en  soariant^ 
Od  ya  rhomme?  od  son  conr  I'appeUe; 
L'hirondelie  suit  le  s6phir, 
Et  moins  l^gftre  est  l'hirondelie 
Qoe  rhomme  qui  salt  son  d6sir. 
Ah  1  fogitiTe  enchanteresse, 
8ais-ta  senlement  ton  chemin  f 
Fant-il  done  que  le  rienx  destin 
Ait  one  si  jeune  mattresse ! 

BT  PBU88ZEB,  DUO  DB  MALAKOFF. 

Ponr  chanter  la  Jeone  maitresse 

Qae  Mosset  donne  an  rieuz  destin,  ' 

*  The  tnith  of  this  oironmstonoe  was  confirmed  by  Mr.  HolTman  in  the 
eonrse  of  a  oonyersatien  npon  that  and  similar  topics  several  yean  after- 
ward. 


BOUTS  BIM<8.  91 

Tai  trop  pareonra  de  efaemin 
Sana  atteiiidxe  TenohaiitdrMae ; 
Toi^oon  yen  eet  anoien  dMx 
J'ai  tendn  comme  I'hirondelk^ 
ICais  Sam  le  seeonri  dii  s^hir 
Qui  la  porte  oft  aon  eorar  I'l^ptlkw 
Adieu,  fiuitfime  ioiiriaiit» 
Yen  qui  la  jeonease  i'61anoe, 
La  raiaon  me  crie  en  paasant; 
La  aoaTinir  vant  Teap^ranoe. 

TBAHSLAnOH. 

When  Hope,  a  fhgiUTe,  retreating 
BUwwa  xu,  aa  awaj  ahe  fliea» 
Then  awift  retorna,  another  greeting 
To  offer  oa  with  iaaghing  eyea. 
Man  goeth  when  hia  heart  ia  apeaking^ 
The  awallowa  through  the  aephyra  dart^ 
And  man,  who'a  erery  faney  aeeking^ 
Hath  yet  a  more  inoonatant  heart. 
Enchantieaa,  ftigitira^  ooqnetting  I 
Enow'at  thou  then  tme,  alone^  thy  way  f 
Hath  then  atem  Fate,  ao  old  and  gnj. 
So  young  a  miatreaa  never  (Vetting? 

BBYSBSBD  BHTinS. 

To  aing  the  miatreaa,  neyer  flretting, 
Mnaaet  girea  Fate,  ao  old  and  gray. 
Too  long  IVe  trarelled  on  my  way. 
And  ne'er  attained  her  dear  ooqnetting. 
To  find  that  longing  of  the  heart» 
rre  heen,  like  yonder  awallow,  seeking^ 
Yet  eonld  not  through  the  sephyra  darty 
Nor  reach  the  wiah  the  heart  la  apeaking. 
Adieu  then,  ahade,  with  laughing  ^yee^ 
Towarda  whom  youth  ever  aenda  ita  greetlBg; 
Better,  oriea  Beaaon,  aa  ahe  fliea, 
Bememhranoe  now,  than  Hope  xetreating. 

Among  the  eeoentridtiea  of  literature  may  be  elaaaed  BkopaUe  otnm, 
which  begin  with  a  monoayllable  and  gradually  inoreaae  the  length  of  eaoh 
anoeeaaiTe  word.  The  name  waa  auggeated  by  the  ahape  of  Heroulea'  olub, 
AAmW.  Sometimea  they  run  from  the  butt  to  the  handle  of  the  ellibb  Take 
■a  an  example  of  each,— 

Bern  tibi  eonfeei,  doetiaaime,  dulciaonoram. 
YeotigalibuB  armamenta  reforre  jubet  Bex. 


92  BMBLSMATIO  POETBT. 


IBmtlematic  ^oetrs> 

A  pair  of  seisson  and  a  oomb  in  Toise. — Bw  Joasos^ 

On  their  fair  atandardB  by  the  wind  dLsplayed, 

EggB,  altars,  wings,  pip«>»  ^zm,  were  portrayed. — Sonbleriad^ 

The  quaint  conceit  of  making  verses  assame  grotesque 
shapes  and  devices,  expressive  of  the  theme  selected  by  the 
writer,  appears  to  have  been  most  &shionable  daring  the  seven- 
teenth centarj.  Writers  tortured  their  brains  in  order  to  tor- 
ture their  verses  into  all  sorts  of  fantastic  forms,  from  a  flower- 
pot to  an  obelisk,  from  a  pin  to  a  pyramid.  Hearts  and  fans 
and  knots  were  chosen  for  love-songs;  wineglasses,  bottles, 
and  casks  for  Bacchanalian  songs;  pulpits,  altars,  and  monu- 
ments for  religious  verses  and  epitaphs.  Tom  Nash,  according 
to  Disraeli,  says  of  Gabriel  Harvey,  that  '*  he  had  writ  verses 
in  all  kinds :  in  form  of  a  pair  of  gloves,  a  pair  of  spectacles, 
a  pair  of  pot-hooks,  &c"  Puttenham,  in  his  Art  of  Poeste, 
gives  several  odd  specimens  of  poems  in  the  form  of  lozenges, 
pillars,  triangles,  &c.  Butler  says  of  Benlowes,  '^  the  excel- 
lently learned,"  who  was  much  renowned  for  his  literary 
freaks,  **  As  for  temples  and  pyramids  in  poetry,  he  has  out- 
done all  men  that  way;  for  he  has  made  a  gridiron  and  a 
frying^an  in  verse,  that,  besides  the  likeness  in  shape,  the 
very  tone  and  sound  of  the  words  did  perfectly  represent  the 
nobe  made  by  these  utensils !  When  he  was  a  captain,  he 
made  all  the  furniture  of  his  horse,  from  the  bit  to  the  crupper, 
the  beaten  poetry,  every  verse  being  fitted  to  the  proportion  of 
the  thing,  with  a  moral  allusion  to  the  sense  of  the  thing :  as 
the  hriMe  of  moderaJtUm^  the  saddle  o/corUenty  and  the  crtcp- 
per  of  constancy;  so  that  the  same  thing  was  the  epigram 
and  emblem,  even  as  a  mule  is  both  horse  and  ass/'  Mr.  Alger 
tells  us  that  the  Oriental  poets  are  fond  of  arranging  their  poems 
in  the  form  of  drums,  swords,  circles,  crescents,  trees,  &c.,  and 
that  the  Alexandrian  rhetoricians  used  to  amuse  themselves  by 
writing  their  satires  and  invectives  in  the  shape  of  an  axe  or  a 


EMBLEMATIC  POETRT.  93 

spear.  He  gives  the  following  erotie  triplet^  composed  by  « 
HiDda  poot,  the  firat  line  representing  a  bow,  the  second  its 
string,  the  third  an  arrow  aimed  at  the  heart  of  the  object  of 
hisi 


3 
Those  dianiis  to  win,  with  all  my  empire  I  would  gladly  pari 


THE  WINE  GLASS. 

Who  hath  woe?    Who  hath   soirowf 

Who     hath     eontenUoni  ?       Who 

hath      wounds    without    eanM7 

Who  hath   rednen    of    eyeif 

Th^  thai  tairy  long  at  the 

wine!    They    that   go   to 

•eefc  mixed  wine.    Look 

not    thoQ    npon    the 

wine  when  it  ia  red, 

when  it  gireth  its 

oolor  in   the 

cup; 

when    it 

moTeth  itself 

aright. 

At 

the    last 

it  hiteth  like  a 

•irpenty  and  stingeth  like  an  adder 


94  SMBLEMATIG  POETRT. 

The  following  specimen  of  this  affeotation  was  written  by 
George  Wither,  who  lived  from  1588  to  1677.  It  is  called  by 
Mr.EUisa 

BHOMBOIDAL  PIBGE. 

Furewelly 

Sweet  groresy  to  yon ! 

Yoa  hiUs  Oiat  highef  t  dwell, 

And  all  yon  humble  rales,^  adien  I 

Ton  wanton  brooka  and  solitaiy  roeki, 

Mj  dear  companions  all,  and  yon  my  tender  flooki ! 

Varewell,  my  pipe !  and  all  those  pleasing  songs  whose  moTing  stralnfl 

Delighted  once  the  fairest  nymphs  that  diuioe   npon   the   plaint. 

Yon  discontents,  whose  deep  and  oyer-^eadly  smart 

Have  without  pi^  broke  the  tmest  hearty 

Sighs,  tears,  and  every  sad  annoy, 

That  erst  did  with  me  dwell. 

And      others     joy. 

Farewell! 

The  Ohristian  monks  of  the  Middle  Ages,  who  amused  them- 
selves  similarly,  preferred  for  their  hymns  the  form  of 

THE   GROSS. 

Blest  they  who  seek,  '  ^ 

WhUe  in  their  youth,  :  "" 

With      spirit     meek,  ^^ 

The  way  of  truth.  "I 
To  them  the  Sacred  Scriptures  now  display;"-' 
Ohrist  as  the  only  true  and  Uring  way:  ^ 
His  pieciona  blood  on  Calvary  was  given  "lA 
To  make  them  heiri  of  endless  bliss  in  heaven,  ^j  ^ 
And  e'en  on  earth  the  child  of  God  can  traea  v\A 
The  glorious  blessings  of  his  Savionr't  tattt,\kCj 

For    them    He    bore  r 

His    Father's    frown,   \ 

For    them    He    wore   . 

The     thorny   erown;   ' 

Nailed   to   the  cross,    ". 

Endured     its     pain. 

That   his    life's    loss     ' 

Might  be  their  gain.'^ 

Then  haste  to  choose  ;  Q 

That     better     part— \\ 

Nor       dare       reftisa  : 

The  Lord  your  heart. 

Lest     He     declare,—:    ■ 

"I   know   you  not;"* 

And     deep      despair 

Shall     be    your    lot  n'- 
Now     look     to     Jesuf     who     on     Calvary     died,'^  t 
And   tmit   on    Him   alone  who  there  was   onidfied.^\ 


EMBLEMATIO  POETRY. 


95 


CURIOUS  PIECE  OP  ANTIQUITY,   ON  THE    CRUGIPIXION 
OUR  SAVIOUR  AND  THE  TWO  THIEVES. 


Of 


oMyGodt  MyGodl 


I  eoBM  to  Thee; 

To  hear  me  wrateh,  oh, 

Sid  nerer  dote. 

Let  not,  0  God! 

Aad  nninbericH,  b«t 

Aad  raj  poor  loal  be  t 


AU  o 
Yor  bj 

Oh  bes 

LnI  ■ 

Oh  Loffd]  mj 

In 

And  at  the  ^ 

To  Ut 


♦♦♦ 


Tan  of  my  tear*   <  * 

bow  down  thy  blooMd  ears 
let  thine  eyee,  which  aleep 
behold  a  linner  weep. 
mj  God  I  mj  ftolts,  thongh 
een  thy  meroy-eeat 
rown,  einoe  we  are  tan^t^ 

ne^        J    If  thoa  beeet   T  aoiicht 


any  o 
Tioor 

my  balm,  his  st 
h  be  lo 
Redeemer^ 
old  thy 
pee  on  the 
e,  as  well  as  pay 
e,the  wa 
whither 
e  Tain,  gir 
aTlng  hea 
t  I  with 
me  forer 
s  direct 
<  »d,thatfromtheeI< 
e  be  rais6 
Sweet  Jes 


r  merit 
rist  inherit: 
my  bliss, 


rsf' 


Tioor  Godl 
engdU  rod; 
are  set, 
e  debt. 
I  knowf 
hoold  I  gof 
thine  to  mai 
th  mnst  be. 
aith  im|ioi% 


e'er  al^| 
then, 


■ZPLAlTATIOlf. 

TIm  middle  eroas  reprMents  cor  Sarionr;  those  on  either  tide;,  the  tiro 
thieree.  On  tbe  top  and  down  the  middle  eroM  are  oar  Sarloiir'B  ezpreefion, 
"My  God!  My  God!  why  hast  thon  forsaken  me?"  and  on  the  top  of  the 
oon  ii  the  Latin  inaeriptaon,  "  rNHF* — Jemu  Naiarenos  Rex  Jad»onim, 
k«.  Jeens  of  Naiareth,  King  of  the  Jews.  Upon  the  cross  on  the  right  hand 
»  tiie  prayer  of  one  of  the  thieres : — "  Lord !  remember  me  when  thotf  eomeet 
hito  thy  kingdom."  On  the  left-hand  cross  is  the  saying,  or  reproaek,  of  the 
other  »—<' If  thoa  heett  the  Christy  saye  thyself  and  as."  The  whole,  comprised 
together,  makes  a  piece  of  excellent  poetry,  which  is  to  he  read  across  all  the 
eolnmBS,  and  makes  as  many  lines  as  there  are  letters  in  the  alphabet  It  if 
peihaps  one  of  the  most  carious  pieces  of  composition  to  ho  foond  on  reeord. 


96  BMBLEMATIO  COMPOSITION. 

INOBNIOUS  CYPHER 

The  following  was  written  by  Prof.  Whewell  at  the  request 

of  a  young  lady : — 

U  0  a  0  but  I  0  U, 

0  0  no  0  but  0  0  me; 

0  let  not  my  0  a  0  go. 

Bnt  give  0  0  I  0  U  so. 
Thua  de-cyphend  : 
(Yon  ngh  for  a  cypher,  but  I  ngh  for  jou  j 
0  ngk  for  no  cypher,  but  0  ngh  for  me : 
0  let  not  my  tigh  for  a  cypher  go, 
But  giye  nyh  for  eigh,  for  I  n^h  for  yon  lo.) 

TYPOGRAPHICAL. 

We  once  saw  a  young  man  gazing  at  the  *ry  heavens,  with  a 
t  iu  1  W^  and  a  ^^-^^  of  pistols  in  the  other.  We  endeavored 
to  attract  his  attention  by  .ing  to  a  ^  in  a  paper  we  held  in  our 
W^i  relating  2  a  young  man  in  that  §  of  the  oountiy,  who  had 
left  home  in  a  state  of  mental  derangement.  He  diropped  the 
f  and  pistols  from  his  i^**^l  with  the  I 

'^  It  is  I  of  whom  U  read.  I  left  home  be4  my  friends  knew 
of  my  design.    I  had  sO  the  W^  of  a  girl  who  refused  2  lialO 

2  me,  but  smiled  b9nly  on  another.     I ed  madly  from  the 

house,  uttering  a  wild  '  2  the  god  of  love,  and  without  replying 
2  the  ?7?  of  my  friends,  came  here  with  this  f  &  <— a--\  of  pis- 
tols, 2  put  a  .  2  my  existence.     My  case  has  no  ||  in  this  §." 

OXFORD  JOEIE. 

A  gentleman  entered  the  room  of  Dr,  Barton,  Warden  of 
Merton  College,  and  told  him  that  Dr.  Vowd  was  dead. 
'<Whatr'  said  he,  "Dr.  Vowel  deadl  well,  thank  heaven  it 
was  neither  U  nor  I." 

In  an  old  church  in  Westchester  county,  N.  Y.,  the  following 
dbnsonants  are  written  beside  the  altar,  under  the  Ten  Com- 
mandments. What  vowel  is  to  be  placed  between  them,  to 
make  sense  and  rhyme  of  the  couplet? 

P.  R.  S.  V.  R.  Y.  P.  R.  F.  C.  T.  M.  N. 
V.  R.  K.  P.  T.  H.  8.  P.  R.  C.  P.  T.  S.  T.  N. 


BMBLEMATIO  POSTBT.  9? 

X88AT  TO  MISS  CATHARINE  JAT. 
An  8  A  DOW  I  mean  2  write 

2  U  sweet  E  T  J, 
The  girl  withoat  a  |, 

The  belle  of  U  T  E. 

1 1  der  if  U  got  thai  1 

1  wrote  2  U  B  4 

I  faQed  in  the  R  E  D  A, 
And  sent  by  L  N  Moore. 

My  M  T  head  will  scarce  contain 

A  calm  IDA  bright 
But  A  T  miles  from  U I  most 

M-*-  this  chance  2  write. 

And  Ist,  should  N  E  N  Y  U» 

B  E  Z,  mind  it  not, 
Should  N  B  friendship  show,  B  troe; 

They  should  not  B  forgot 

From  Tirt  U  ner  R  D  Y  8 ; 

Her  inflaence  B  9 
A  like  induces  10  dem  S, 

Or  40  tnde  D  Tine. 

And  if  U  cannot  eat  a  ^— 

Or  cut  an  I 
I  hope  mi  put  a . 

2  1?. 

R  U  for  an  X  atlon  2, 

My  coos  N  ?— heart  and  ^g^ 
He  off  R's  in  a  f 

A  ;  2  of  land. 

He  says  he  loves  U  2  Z  8, 

U  R  Tirtuous  and  Y's^ 
InZLNGUZL 

All  others  in  his  i's. 

This  S  A,  nntil  U  I  C, 

Ipray  U2XQ's, 
And  do  not  bum  in  F  B  G 

My  young  and  wayward  miittb 

Kow  fare  V  well,  dear  E  T  J, 

I  trust  that  U  R  true- 
When  this  U  G,  then  you  can  lay. 

An  S  A  I  0  U. 
G  9 


98  H0N0STLI.ABLE8. 

"And  ten  low  words  oft  creep  in  one  dull  line." 
Some  of  our  best  writers  have  very  properly  taken  exception 
to  the  above  line  in  Pope's  Essay  on  Oriticismy  and  have  shown, 
by  reference  to  abundant  examples,  that  many  of  the  finest  pass- 
ages in  our  language  are  nearly,  if  not  altogether,  monosyllabic. 
Indeed,  it  could  not  well  be  otherwise,  if  it  be  true  that,  as 
Dean  Swift  has  remarked,  the  English  language  is  *' over- 
stocked with  monosyllables."  It  contains  more  than  five 
hundred  formed  by  the  vowel  a  alone ;  four  hundred  and  fifty 
by  the  vowel  e;  nearly  four  hundred  by  the  vowel  t;  more 
than  four  hundred  by  the  vowel  o;  and  two  hundred  and  sixty 
by  the  vowel  u;  besides  a  large  number  formed  by  diphthongs. 
Floy  has  written  a  lengthy  and  very  ingenious  article,  entirely 
in  monosyllables,  in  which  he  undertakes,  as  he  says,  to  ''prove 
that  short  words,  in  spite  of  the  sneer  in  the  text,  need  not 
creep,  nor  be  dull,  but  that  they  give  strength,  and  life,  and 
fire  to  the  verse  of  those  who  know  how  to  use  them." 

Pope  himself,  however,  has  confuted  his  own  words  by  hia 
admirable  writings  more  effectively  than  could  be  done  by 
labored  argument.  Many  of  the  best  lines  in  the  Essay  above 
referred  to,  as  well  as  in  the  Essay  on  Man, — and  there  are  few 
''dull"  or  "creeping"  verses  to  be  found  in  either, — ^are  made 
up  entirely  of  monosyllables,  or  contain  but  one  word  of  greater 
length,  or  a  contracted  word  pronounced  as  one  syllable.  The 
Universal  Prayer — one  of  the  most  beautiful  and  elaborate 
pieces,  both  in  sentiment  and  versification,  ever  produced  in 
any  language — contains  three  hundred  and  four  words,  of  which 
there  are  two  hundred  and  forty-nine  monosyllables  to  fifty-five 
polysyllables,  thus  averaging  but  one  of  the  latter  to  every  line. 
A  single  stanza  is  appended  as  a  specimen :— » 

If  I  am  righty  thy  grace  impart 

Still  in  the  right  to  stay; 
If  I  am  wrong,  oh,  teach  my  heart 
To  find  that  better  way  t 


MONOSYLLABLES.  99 

Rogersi  oonversing  on  this  sabjeot,  cited  two  lines  from 
Eloisa  to  Abdard,  which  he  declared  could  not  possibly  be 
improved : — 

Ptnt  on  thy  lip,  and  to  thy  heart  be  presi'd ; 

Giye  all  then  eaasi— and  let  me  dream  the  reek 

Among  the  illustrations  employed  by  Floy,  are  numerous 
selections  from  the  hymnology  in  common  congregatioBal  use, 
such  as  the  following  :— 

Sweet  is  the  work,  my  Ood,  my  King, 

To  praise  thy  name,  gire  thanks,  and  sing; 

To  show  thy  lore  by  morning  light, 

And  talk  of  all  thy  trath  at  night— Watts. 

Are  there  no  foes  for  me  to  fiuw  ? 

Mast  I  not  stem  the  flood  ? 
Is  this  Tile  world  a  friend  to  grace 
To  help  me  on  to  Ood  ? — Wattb. 

Save  me  from  death ;  from  hell  set  f^ ; 

Death,  hell,  are  but  the  want  of  thee : 

My  life,  my  only  heav'n  then  art, — 

0  might  I  feel  thee  in  my  heart  1 — C.  Wssurr. 

The  same  writer,  to  show  Shakspeare's  fondness  for  small 
words,  and  their  frequent  subseryience  to  some  of  his  most 
masterly  efforts,  enters  upon  a  monosyllabic  analysis  of  King 
Lear,  quoting  from  it  freely  throughout.  Those  who  read  the 
play  with  reference  to  this  point  will  be  struck  with  the  re- 
markable number  of  forcible  passages  made  up  of  words  of  one 
syllable : — 

Thou  know'st  the  first  time  that  we  smell  the  air, 

We  wawl  and  cry :  I  will  preach  to  thee ;  mark  me. 

When  we  are  bom,  we  eiy  that  we  are  oome 

To  this  great  stage  of  fools.— -This  a  good  block?— Aef  JV.  Sc^ 

The  following  occurs  in  the  play  of  King  John,  whero  the 
King  is  pausing  in  hb  wish  to  incite  Hubert  to  murder 
Ajthur  :— 

Good  friend,  then  hast  no  cause  to  say  so  yet ; 

But  then  shalt  have;  and  creep  time  ne'er  so  slow. 

Yet  it  shall  oome,  for  me  to  do  thee  good. 

I  had  a  thing  to  say.— Bnt  let  it  go.— Ad  III  So.  3. 


100  MONOSTLLABLES. 

But  who  I  was,  or  where,  or  from  what  caase^ 
Knew  not ;  to  speak  I  tried,  and  forthwith  spake 

Thou  sun,  said  I,  fair  light. 

And  then  enlightened  earth,  so  fresh  and  gay, 

7e  hill%  and  dales,  ye  rivers,  woods,  and  plains, 

And  ye  that  live  and  move,  fair  creatures,  tell, 

Tell,  if  ye  saw  how  I  came  thns,  how  here?— 

Tell  me,  how  may  I  know  Him,  how  adore, 

From  whom  I  have  that  thus  I  move  and  live  7^-'Potrad%m  Lo$i,  A  T727. 

Herriok  saySi  in  his  address  to  the  daffodils  :-* 
We  have  short  time  to  stay  as  yon, 

We  have  as  short  a  spring ; 
As  quick  a  growth  to  meet  decay 
As  you  or  any  thing. 
We  die 
As  your  hours  do,  and  dry 
Like  to  the  rain. 
Or  as  the  pearls  of  dew. 

Kow  I  am  here,  what  thou  wilt  do  for  me. 

None  of  my  books  will  show ; 
I  read,  and  sigh,  and  wish  I  were  a  tree^ 

For  sure  I  then  should  grow 
To  fruit  or  shade :  at  least  some  bird  might  trust 
Her  household  to  me,  and  I  should  be  Just.^OaoBoaHBBBBBi'. 

Thou  who  hast  given  me  eyes  to  see 

And  love  this  sight  so  fur, 
Give  me  a  heart  to  find  out  Thee, 

And  read  Thee  evoTywhere. — Keblb. 

The  bell  strikes  one.    We  take  no  note  of  tima 
Save  by  its  loss;  to  give  it  then  a  tongne 
Were  wise  in  man. — ^Toukg. 

Ah,  yes !  the  hour  is  oome 
When  thou  must  haste  thee  home, 

Pure  soul !  to  Him  who  calls. 
The  Qod  who  gave  thee  breath 
Walks  by  the  side  of  death. 

And  naught  that  step  appalls. — Labdob. 

New  light  new  love,  new  love  new  life  hath  bred  | 
A  life  that  lives  by  love,  and  loves  by  light  | 

A  love  to  Him  to  whom  all  loves  are  wed; 
A  light  to  whom  the  sun  is  darkest  night: 


MONOBTLLABLES.  101 

Bye's  light,  heart's  loye,  soul's  only  life.  He  n ; 

Life,  soul,  lore,  heart,  ligh^  eyes,  and  all  are  His ; 

He  eye,  light,  heart,  lore,  soul ;  He  all  my  joy  and  bliss.— 

Flstchxb'b  J^urpU  hland, 

Bailey's  Festus,  that  extraordinary  poem  the  perasal  of  whioh 
makes  the  reader  feel  as  if  he  had  '*  eaten  of  the  insane  root 
that  takes  the  reason  prisoner/'  abounds  with  examples  i— 

Night  brings  oat  stars  as  sorrow  shows  ns  truths : 

Though  many,  yet  they  help  not ;  bright,  they  light  not. 

They  are  too  late  to  serve  ns;  and  sad  things 

Are  aye  too  tme.    We  neyer  see  the  stars 

Till  we  can  see  naoght  bat  them.    So  with  tnitfa. 

And  yet  if  one  would  look  down  a  deep  well. 

Even  at  noon,  we  might  see  those  same  i 


Life's  more  than  breath,  and  the  qniek  round  of  blood— 
We  lire  in  deeds,  not  years ;  in  thoughts,  not  breaths^ 
We  should  eount  time  by  heart-throbs.    He  most  Htos 
Who  thinks  most — feels  the  noblest — ^acts  the  best 
Life's  but  a  means  unto  an  end^ 

Hblen  (nng§,)  Oh!  lore  is  like  the  rose. 

And  a  month  it  may  not  see, 
Ere  it  withers  where  it  grows-^ 
Rosalie! 

I  loyed  thee  from  afar; 
Oh  I  my  heart  was  lift  to  thee 
Like  a  glass  up  to  a  star — 
RosaUe! 

Thine  eye  was  glassed  in  mine 
As  the  moon  is  in  the  sea. 
And  its  shine  is  on  the  brine— 
Bosalie! 

The  rose  hath  lost  its  red, 
And  the  star  is  in  the  sea, 
And  the  briny  tear  is  shed— 
Rosalie! 

FiBTUS.     What  the  stars  are  to  the  night,  my  1ot% 
What  its  pearls  are  to  the  sea, 
What  the  dew  is  to  the  day,  my  lore. 
Thy  beauty  is  to  me. 

We  may  say  that  the  sun  is  dead,  and  gone 
VoreTor;  and  may  swear  he  will  rise  no  more ; 
9* 


102  MONOSYLLABLES. 

The  skief  may  pat  im  mourning  for  (heir  God, 
And  earth  heap  ashes  on  her  head;  bat  who 
Shall  keep  the  sun  back  when  he  thinks  to  rise  ? 
Where  is  the  chain  shall  bind  him  ?    Whore  the  cell 
Shall  hold  him  ?    Hell  he  would  bam  down  to  embers, 
And  would  lift  np  the  world  with  a  leyer  of  light 
Out  of  his  way :  yet,  know  ye^  'twere  thrice  less 
To  do  thrice  this,  than  keep  the  sonl  from  God. 

Manj  of  the  moet  expressive  sentences  in  the  Bible  are  mono- 
syllabic.     A  few  are  subjoined,  selected  at  random : — 

And  Ood  said,  Let  there  be  light:  and  there  was  light  And  God  saw  tha 
light,  that  it  was  good.— ^«n.  /. 

At  her  feet  he  bowed,  he  fell,  he  lay  down :  at  her  fiMt  he  bowed,  he  ftU : 
whore  he  bowed,  there  he  fell  down  dead. — Judgtt  V» 

0  Lord  my  God,  I  cried  onto  thee,  and  thou  hast  healed  me.  0  Lord,  thou 
hast  brought  ap  my  soul  from  the  grare :  thou  hast  kept  me  aliT%  that  I 
should  not  go  down  to  tho  pit.  Sing  unto  the  Lord,  0  ye  saints  of  hii^  and 
giTO  thanks.— Aa/m  XXX. 

And  he  said  unto  me,  Son  of  man,  can  these  bones  liye  ? — Eutk,  XXXVII. 

Prove  all  chings;  hold  ftuit  that  which  is  good. — 1  Thett,  V, 

For  if  we  bo  dead  with  him,  we  shall  also  live  with  him. — 2  Tim,  IL 

For  the  great  day  of  his  wrath  is  oome;  and  who  shall  be  able  to  stand? 
•-Rev,  VL 

And  the  gates  of  it  shall  not  be  shut  at  all  by  day ;  for  there  shall  be  no 
night  there. — Bev.  XXI, 

THE  POWER  OF  SHORT  WORDS. 

Think  not  that  strength  lies  in  the  big  round  word. 

Or  that  the  brief  and  plain  must  needs  be  weak. 
To  whom  can  this  be  true  who  once  has  heard 

The  ory  for  help,  the  tongue  that  all  men  speak, 
When  want  or  woe  or  fear  is  in  the  throat. 

So  that  eaoh  word  gasped  out  is  like  a  shriek 
Pressed  ttom  the  sore  heart,  or  a  strange  wild  note, 

Sung  by  some  fay  or  fiend  ?    There  is  a  strength 
Which  dies  if  stretched  too  far  or  spun  too  fine. 

Which  has  more  height  than  breadth,  more  depth  than  length. 
Let  but  this  force  of  thought  and  speech  be  mine, 

And  he  that  will  may  taka  the  sleek  fat  phrase 
Which  glows  and  bums  not,  though  It  gleam  and  ihina— 

Light,  but  no  heat — a  flash,  but  not  a  blase ! 


THE   BIBLE.  103 

Nor  is  it  mere  strength  that  the  short  word  boastf : 

It  serres  of  more  than  fight  or  storm  to  tell. 
The  ro&r  of  wares  that  clash  on  rock-bound  coasts, 

The  crash  of  tall  trees  when  the  wild  winds  swell. 
The  roar  of  gnns,  the  groans  of  men  that  die 

On  blood-stained  fields.    It  has  a  Toioe  as  well 
For  them  that  far  off  on  their  sick-beds  lie; 

For  them  that  weep,  for  them  that  mourn  the  dead ; 
For  them  that  langh  and  danee  and  clap  the  hand ; 

To  Jot's  quick  step,  as  well  as  grief's  slow  tread. 
The  sweet,  plain  words  we  learnt  at  first  keep  time, 

And  though  the  theme  be  sad,  or  gay,  or  grand. 
With  each,  with  sll,  these  maj  be  made  to  chime. 

In  thought,  or  speech,  or  song,  in  prose  or  rhyme. 

Db.  Albxaidbr,  iVtae€«oii  Jfaysefaa 


Ef^t  I8if)le. 


God's  cabinet  of  revealed  counsel  'tis, 
MThere  weal  and  woe  are  ordered  so 
That  erery  man  may  know  which  shall  be  his; 
Unless  his  own  mistake  false  i4>plication  makeu 

It  is  the  index  to  eternity. 

He  cannot  miss  of  endless  bliss, 

That  takes  this  chart  to  steer  by, 

Kor  can  he  be  mistook,  that  speaketh  by  this  book. 

It  is  the  book  of  God.    What  if  I  should 

Say,  Qod  of  books,  let  him  that  looks 

Angry  at  that  expression,  as  too  bold, 

His  thoughts  in  silenoe  smother,  till  he  find  such  another. 

ACCUBACT  OF  THE  BIBLE. 

One  of  the  most  remarkable  results  of  modem  research  is 
the  confirmation  of  the  accuracy  of  the  historical  books  of  the 
Old  Testament.  The  ruiDS  of  Babjlon  and  Nineveh  shed  a 
light  on  those  books  which  no  skepticism  can  inyalidate.  What 
surprises  ua  most  is  their  maryellous  accuracy  in  minute  details, 
which  are  now  substaDtiated  by  recent  discoTerics.  The  fact 
feems  to  be  that  when  writing  was  laboriously  performed  on 


104  THE  BIBLE 

stone,  men  had  an  almost  superstitious  consoientiousness  in 
making  their  records  true,  and  had  not  learned  the  modem  in- 
difference to  truth  which  our  facile  modes  of  communicating 
thought  have  encouraged.  A  statement  to  be  chiselled  on  rock 
must  be  correct;  a  statement  which  can  be  written  in  fiye 
minutes  is  likely  to  embody  only  first  impressions,  which  may 
be  amended  in  five  minutes  thereafter.  Hence  it  comes  to  pass 
that  we  know  more  exactly  many  things  which  took  place  in 
the  wars  between  Sennacherib  and  Hezekiah,  than  we  knofW 
what  is  the  precise  truth  with  regard  to  some  of  the  occur- 
rences in  the  battle  of  Bunker's  Hill.  Sir  Henry  Rawlinson, 
speaking  of  his  researches  in  Babylon,  states  that  the  name 
and  situation  of  every  town  of  note  in  ancient  Assyria,  men- 
tioned in  the  Bible,  can  be  substantiated  by  the  ruins  of  that 
city.  The  visit  of  the  Queen  of  Sheba  to  Solomon  is  perfectly 
verified.  The  prosecution  of  the  researches  will  be  regarded 
with  great  interest  as  corroborating  the  truth  of  Scripture. 

An  astonishing  feature  of  the  word  of  God  is,  notwithstand- 
ing the  time  at  which  its  compositions  were  written,  and  the 
multitude  of  the  topics  to  which  it  alludes,  there  is  not  one 
physical  error, — ^not  one  assertion  or  allusion  disproved  by  the 
progress  of  modem  science.  None  of  those  mistakes  which 
the  science  of  each  succeeding  age  discovered  in  the  books  pre- 
ceding; above  all,  none  of  those  absurdities  which  modern 
astronomy  indicates  in  such  great  numbers  in  the  writings  of 
the  ancients, — ^in  their  sacred  codes,  in  their  philosophy,  and 
even  in  the  finest  pages  of  the  fathers  of  the  Church,— not  one  of 
these  errors  is  to  be  found  in  any  of  our  sacred  books.  Nothing 
there  will  ever  contradict  that  which,  after  so  many  ages,  the 
investigations  of  the  leamed  world  have  been  able  to  reveal  to 
us  on  the  state  of  our  globe,  or  on  that  of  the  heavens.  Perase 
with  care  the  Scriptures  from  one  end  to  the  other,  to  find  such 
blemishes,  and,  whilst  you  apply  yourselves  to  this  examina- 
tion, remember  that  it  is  a  book  which  speaks  of  every  thing, 
which  describes  nature,  which  recites  its  creation,  which  tells 
us  of  the  water,  of  the  atmosphere,  of  the  mountains,  of  the 


THE  BIBLE.  105 

animals,  and  of  the  plantsv  It  is  a  book  which  teaches  ns  the 
first  revolutioDs  of  the  world,  and  which  also  foretells  its  last 
It  recounts  them  in  the  circamstantial  langaage  of  history,  it 
extols  them  in  the  snblimest  strains  of  poetry,  and  it  chants 
them  in  the  charms  of  glowing  song.  It  is  a  book  which  is  full 
of  Oriental  rapture,  elevation,  variety,  and  boldness.  It  is  a 
book  which  speaks  of  the  heavenly  and  invisible  world,  whilst 
it  also  speaks  of  the  earth  and  things  visible.  It  is  a  book 
which  nearly  fifty  writers,  of  every  degree  of  cultivation,  of 
every  state,  of  every  condition,  and  living  through  the  course 
of  fifteen  hundred  years,  have  concurred  to  make.  It  is  a  book 
which  was  written  in  the  centre  of  Asia,  in  the  sands  of  Arabia, 
in  the  deserts  of  Judea,  in  the  court  of  the  Temple  of  the  Jews, 
in  the  music-schools  of  the  prophets  of  Bethel  and  Jericho,  in 
the  sumptuous  palaces  of  Babylon,  and  on  the  idolatrous  banks 
of  Chebar;  and  finally,  in  the  centre  of  Western  civilization,  in 
the  midst  of  the  Jews  and  of  their  ignorance,  in  the  midst  of 
polytheism  and  its  sad  philosophy.  It  is  a  book  whose  first 
writer  had  been  forty  years  a  pupil  of  the  magicians  of  Egypt, 
in  whose  opinion  the  sun,  the  stars,  and  elements  were  en- 
dowed with  intelligence,  reacted  on  the  elements,  and  governed 
the  world  by  a  perpetual  illuvium.  It  is  a  book  whose  first 
writer  preceded,  by  more  than  nine  hundred  years,  the  most 
ancient  philosophers  of  ancient  Greece  and  Asia, — ^the  Thaleses, 
and  the  Pythagorases,  the  Zaleucuses,  the  Xenophons,  and  the 
Confuciuses.  It  is  a  book  which  carries  its  narrations  even  to 
the  hierarchies  of  angels— even  to  the  most  distant  epochs  of 
the  future,  and  the  glorious  scenes  of  the  last  day.  Well : 
search  among  its  fifty  authors,  search  among  its  sixty-six 
books,  its  eleven  hundred  and  eighty-nine  chapters,  and  its 
thirty-one  thousand  one  hundred  and  seventy-three  verses; 
search  for  only  one  of  those  thousand  errors  which  the  ancients 
and  modems  have  committed  in  speaking  of  the  heavens 
or  of  the  earth — of  their  revolutions,  of  their  elements ;  search 
— ^but  you  will  find  none. 


106  THE   BIBLE. 

THE  TESTIMONY  OF  LEARNED   MEN. 

Sib  William  Jones'  opinion  of  the  Bible  was  written  oq 
the  last  leaf  of  one  belonging  to  him,  in  these  terms  : — '^  I  haye 
regularly  and  attentively  read  these  Holy  Scriptures,  and  am 
of  opinion  that  this  volume,  independently  of  its  Divine  ori- 
gin, contains  more  sublimity  and  beauty,  more  pure  morality, 
more  important  history  and  finer  strains  of  poetry  and  elo- 
quence, than  can  be  collected  from  all  other  books,  in  whatever 
age  or  language  they  may  have  been  composed/' 

Rousseau  says,  '^This  Divine  Book,  the  only  one  which  is 
indispensable  to  the  Christian,  need  only  be  read  with  reflec- 
tion to  inspire  love  for  its  author,  and  the  most  ardent  desire 
to  obey  its  precepts.  Never  did  virtue  speak  so  sweet  a  lan- 
guage ;  never  was  the  most  profound  wisdom  expressed  with  so 
much  energy  and  simplicity.  No  one  can  arise  from  its  perusal 
without  feeling  himself  better  than  he  was  before.'' 

WiLBERFORCE,  in  his  dying  hour,  said  to  a  friend,  '^Read 
the  Bible.  Let  no  religious  book  take  its  place.  Through  all 
my  perplexities  and  distresses,  I  never  read  any  other  book, 
and  I  never  knew  the  want  of  any  other.  It  has  been  my 
hourly  study;  and  all  my  knowledge  of  the  doctrines,  and  all 
my  acquaintance  with  the  experience  and  realities,  of  religion, 
have  been  derived  from  the  Bible  only.  I  think  religious  peo- 
ple do  not  read  the  Bible  enough.  Books  about  religion  may 
be  useful  enough,  but  they  will  not  do  instead  of  the  simple 
truth  of  the  Bible." 

Lord  Bolingbroke  declared  that  'Hhe  Gospel  is,  in  all 
cases,  one  continued  lesson  of  the  strictest  morality,  of  justioe, 
of  benevolence,  and  of  universal  charity." 

Similar  testimony  has  been  accorded  in  the  strongest  terms 
by  Locke,  Newton,  Boyle,  Selden,  Salmasius,  Sir  Wal- 
ter Scott,  and  numberiess  others. 

Daniel  Webster,  having  been  commended  for  his  eloquence 
on  a  memorable  occasion,  replied,  <*If  any  thing  I  have  ever 
said  or  written  deserves  the  feeblest  encomiums  of  my  fellow- 


THE  BIBLE.  107 

eoantiymen,  I  have  no  hesitation  in  deolaring  that  for  their 
partiality  I  am  indebted,  solely  indebted,  to  the  daily  and  at- 
tentive pemsal  of  the  Holy  Scriptures,  the  source  of  all  true 
poetry  and  eloquence,  as  well  as  of  all  good  and  all  comfort." 

John  Quincy  Adams,  in  a  letter  to  his  son  in  1811,  says, 
''  I  have  for  many  years  made  it  a  practice  to  read  through  the 
Bible  once  every  year.  My  custom  is  to  read  four  or  five  chap- 
ters every  morning,  immediately  after  rising  from  my  bed.  It 
employs  about  an  hour  of  my  time,  and  seems  to  me  the  most 
suitable  manner  of  beginning  the  day.  In  whatsoever  light 
we  regard  the  Bible,  whether  with  reference  to  revelation,  to 
history,  or  to  morality,  it  is  an  invaluable  and  inexhaustible 
mine  of  knowledge  and  virtue." 

Addison  says,  in  relation  to  the  poetry  of  the  Bible, 
<<  After  perusing  the  Book  of  Psalms,  let  a  judge  of  the  beau- 
ties of  poetry  read  a  literal  translation  of  Horace  or  Pindar, 
and  he  will  find  in  these  two  last  such  an  absurdity  and  con- 
fusion of  style,  with  such  a  comparative  poverty  of  imagination, 
as  will  make  him  sensible  of  the  vast  superiority  of  Scripture 
s^le." 

Lord  Btron,  in  a  letter  to  Mrs.  Sheppard,  said,  in  refer- 
ence to  the  truth  of  Christianity,  <<  Indisputably,  the  firm 
believers  in  the  Gospel  have  a  great  advantage  over  all  others, 
for  this  simple  reason : — that,  if  true,  they  will  have  their  re- 
ward hereafter ;  and  if  there  be  no  hereafter,  they  can  bo  but 
with  the  infidel  in  his  etem^il  sleep,  having  had  the  assistance 
of  an  exalted  hope  through  life,  without  subsequent  disappoint- 
ment, since  (at  the  worst,  for  them)  out  of  nothing  nothing 
can  arise, — not  even  sorrow."  The  following  lines  of  Walter 
Soott  are  said  to  have  been  copied  in  his  Bible : — 

Within  this  awful  voloxne  lies 

The  mystery  of  mysteries. 

Oh !  happiest  they  of  hamaa  race. 

To  whom  our  Ood  has  given  grace 

To  hear,  to  read,  to  fear,  to  pray. 

To  lift  the  latch,  and  force  Uie  way; 

Bat  better  had  they  ne'er  been  bom, 

Who  read  to  doubt,  or  read  to  soom. — Monastery, 


108  THE  BIBLE. 


ENGLISH  BIBLE  TRANSLATIONS. 

OvB  voraion  of  the  Bible  is  to  be  loved  and  prized  for  this,  u  for  a  thoa- 
•and  other  things,— ^hat  it  has  preserved  a  purity  of  meaning  to  many  terms 
of  natural  objects.  Without  this  holdfast,  our  vitiated  imaginations  would 
refine  away  language  to  mere  absti^ctions.  Henoe  the  French  have  lost  their 
poetical  language ;  and  Blanco  White  says  the  same  thing  has  happened  to 
the  Spanish. — Coleridge. 

■Wickliffe's  Bible, — ^This  was  the  first  translation  made  into 
the  language.  It  was  translated  by  John  Wickliffe,  about  the 
year  1384,  but  never  printed,  though  there  are  manuscript 
copies  of  it  in  several  public  libraries. 

T^ndale's  Bible. — The  translation  of  William  Tyndale^  as- 
sisted by  Miles  Coverdale,  was  the  first  printed  Bible  in  the 
English  language.  The  New  Testament  was  published  in 
1526.  It  was  revised  and  republished  in  1530.  In  1532,  Tyn- 
dale  and  his  associates  finished  the  whole  Bible,  except  the 
Apocrypha,  and  printed  it  abroad. 

Matthewt^  Bible, — ^While  Tyndale  was  preparing  a  second 
edition  of  the  Bible,  he  was  taken  up  and  burned  for  heresy  in 
Flanders.  On  his  death,  Goverdale  and  John  Rogers  revised 
it,  and  added  a  translation  of  the  Apocrypha.  It  was  dedicated 
to  Henry  YIII.,  in  1537,  and  was  printed  at  Hamburg,  under 
the  borrowed  name  of  Thomas  Matthews,  whence  it  was  called 
Matthews'  Bible. 

Cranmer^s  BihU. — ^This  was  the  first  Bible  printed  by  author- 
ity in  England,  and  publicly  set  up  in  the  churches.  It  was 
Tyndale's  version,  revised  by  Coverdale,  and  examined  by  Cran- 
mer,  who  added  a  preface  to  it,  whence  it  was  called  Cranmer's 
Bible.  It  was  printed  by  Grafton,  in  large  folio,  in  1539. 
After  being  adopted,  suppressed,  and  restored  under  successive 
reigns,  a  new  edition  was  brought  out  in  1562. 

The  Geneva  Bible. — In  1557,  the  whole  Bible  in  quarto  was 
printed  at  Geneva  by  Rowland  Harte,  some  of  the  English 
refugees  continuing  in  that  city  solely  for  that  purpose.     The 


TUS  BIBLE  109 

traiuilaton  were  Bishop  Coverdale,  Anthony  Gilbj,  William 
Whittingham,  Christopher  Woodman,  Thomas  Sampson,  and 
Thomas  Colo — ^to  whom  some  add  John  Knox,  John  Bodleigh, 
and  John  Pullain,  all  zealous  Calvinists,  both  in  doctrine  and 
discipline.  But  the  chief  and  most  learned  of  them  were  the 
first  three.  Of  this  translation  there  were  about  thirty  editions, 
mostly  printed  by  the  King's  and  Queen's  printers,  from  1560 
to  1616.  In  this  yersion,  the  first  distinction  in  verses  was 
made.  The  following  is  a  copy  of  the  title-page  of  the 
edition  of  1559,  omitting  two  quotations  from  the  Scrip- 
tures:— 

THE  BIBLE. 
THAT  IS.  THE  HO- 
LY SCRIPTURES  CONTEI- 
KEB  IN  TUB  OLDE  AND  NEWB 
TESTAMENT. 
TrftDslated  Aooording 
to  the  Ebrew  and  Qreeke,  and  oonferred  with  the 

best  translatioDB  in  diren  langoagefl. 

With  most  profitable  Annotations  rpon  all  the  hard 

places, 

and  other  things  of  Qreat  importance. 

IMPRINTED  AT  LONDON 

by  the  Deputies  of  Christopher  Barker,  Printer  to  the 

Qaeenes  most  excellent  Maiestie, 

1599. 

Cum  prinilegio. 

To  some  editions  of  the  Geneva  Bible,  one  of  which  is  this 
of  1599,  is  subjoined  Beza's  translation  of  the  new  text  into 
English  by  L.  Tomson,  who  was  under-secretary  to  Sir  Francis 
Walsingham.  But,  though  he  pretends  to  translate  from  Beza, 
he  has  seldom  varied  a  word  from  the  Geneva  translation.  Dr. 
Gcddes  gives  honorable  testimony  to  the  last  Geneva  version,  as 
he  does  not  hesitate  to  declare  that  he  thinks  it  in  general 
better  than  that  of  the  King  James  translators.  Our  readers 
will  hardly  agree  with  him  when  they  read  some  extracts  from 
it  appended  in  a  succeeding  paragraph. 

10 


110  THE   BIBLE. 

The  typographical  appearance  of  this  work  is  quite  a  cari- 
osity. Like  most  of  the  old  books,  it  is  well  printed,  and  is 
ornamented  with  the  pen.  The  head  and  foot  rales,  as  well  as 
the  division  of  the  columns,  are  made  with  the  pen  in  red  ink. 
The  title-page  is  quite  profusely  ornamented  with  red  lines. 

This  translation  of  the  Bible  is  known  as  <Hhe  breeches 
Bible/'  from  the  following  rendering  of  Genesis  iii.  7 : — 

Then  the  eyes  of  them  both  were  opened,  and  they  knew  that  they  were 
naked;  and  they  sewed  fig  tree  leaves  together,  and  made  themselves 
breechet, 

A  peculiarity  in  this  Bible  is  the  substitution  of  the  letter  v 
for  Uy  and,  vice  versa,  u  for  v.  The  name  of  Eve  is  printed 
Heuah  (Heyah);  Cain  is  printed  Kain;  Abel,  Habel;  Enoch, 
Henock;  Isaac,  Ishak;  Hebrew,  Ebrew,  &c.  The  translations 
of  many  of  the  passages  differ  materially  from  our  received 
version.     The  following  will  serve  as  illustrations : — 

Thus  he  cast  out  man ;  and  at  the  East  side  of  the  garden  of  Bden  ne 
set  the  eherubimsy  and  the  blade  of  a  sword  shaken,  to  keep  the  way  of  the 
tree  of  life. — Genesis  iii  24. 

Then  it  repented  the  Lorde  that  he  had  made  man  in  the  earth,  and  he 
was  sorie  in  his  heart — Gen.  yL  6. 

Make  thee  an  Arkee  of  pine  trees;  thou  shalt  make  oabins  in  the  Arkee^ 
and  shalt  pitch  it  within  and  without  with  pitch.  Thoa  shalt  make  M  with 
the  lower,  second  and  third  roome. — Gen.  ri.  14,  16. 

And  he  said,  Hagar,  Sarais  maide,  whence  oomest  thou  7  St  whether  wflk 
thou  go  ?  and  she  said,  I  flee  from  my  dame  Sarai. — Gen.  xvL  8. 

Vfhen  Abram  was  ninetle  years  old  St  nine,  the  Lord  appeared  to  Abram, 
and  said  unto  him,  I  am  God  all  sufficient,  walke  before  me,  and  bo  thou  up- 
right— Gen.  zviL  1. 

Then  Abraham  rose  vp  from  the  sight  of  his  corps,  and  talked  with  tne 
Hittites,  saying,  I  am  a  stranger  and  a  forreiner  among  you,  Ac — Gen. 
zxiii.  3,  4. 

Then  Abraham  yielded  the  spirit  and  died  in  a  good  age,  an  olde  man, 
and  of  great  yeeres,  and  was  gathered  to  his  people.— Gen.  xzt.  8. 

As  many  were  astonied  at  thee  (his  visage  was  so  deformed  of  men,  and 
his  forme  of  the  sonnes  of  men)  so  shall  hee  spunokle  many  nations.— Isa.  lit 
14.    This  chapter  has  but  fourteen  verses  in  it 


THS  BIBLB.  Ill 

Can  the  blaeke  Moore  ehufe  his  skiime?  or  tlia  leopard  bis  ipoti?— 
Jer.  ziU.  23. 

And  after  those  dayi  we  tniwed  op  our  fkrdles,  and  went  up  to  Jera- 
ndem. — Acts  xxi.  15. 

Bat  Jesus  sajde  vnto  her,  Let  the  ohadren  first  bee  fed ;  for  it  is  not  good 
to  take  the  childrens  bread,  and  to  east  it  ante  whelps.  Then  shoe  answered, 
and  sud  nnto  him,  Trathe,  Lorde ;  yet  in  deedo  the  whelps  «ate  under  the 
table  of  the  childrens  cmmmes. — Mark  vii.  37,  28. 

And  she  broght  forth  her  fyrst  begotten  Sonne,  and  wrapped  him  in  swad- 
lyng  clothes,  and  layd  him  in  a  cretche,  because  there  was  no  rowme  for 
them  with  in  the  ynne. — Lake  il.  7. 

The  Bishopt^  Bible. — ^Archbishop  Parker  engaged  bishops 
and  other  learned  men  to  bring  out  a  new  translation.  Thej 
did  so  in  1568,  in  large  folio.  It  made  what  was  afterwards 
called  the  great  English  Bible,  and  commonly  the  Bishops' 
Bible.  In  1589  it  was  published  in  octavo,  in  small,  bat  fine 
black  letter.  In  it  the  chapters  were  divided  into  verses,  but 
without  any  breaks  for  them. 

Matthew  Parker's  Bible. — The  Bishops'  Bible  underwent 
some  corrections,  and  was  printed  in  large  folio  in  1572,  and 
called  Matthew  Parker's  Bible.  The  version  was  used  in  the 
churches  for  forty  years. 

The  Douay  Bible. — The  New  Testament  was  brought  out 
by  the  Boman  Catholics  in  1582,  and  called  the  Rhemish  New 
Testament.  It  was  condemned  by  the  Queen  of  England,  and 
copies  were  seized  by  her  authority  and  destroyed.  In  1609 
and  1610,  the  Old  Testament  was  added,  and  the  whole  pub- 
lished at  Douay,  hence  called  the  Douay  Bible. 

King  Jaine^s  Bible. — ^The  version  now  in  use  was  brought  out 
by  King  James's  authority  in  1611.  Fifty-four  learned  men 
were  employed  to  accomplish  the  work  of  revising  it.  From 
death  or  other  cause,  seven  of  them  failed  to  enter  upon  it. 
The  remaining  forty-seven  were  ranged  under  six  divisions,  and 
had  different  portions  of  the  Bible  assigned  to  those  divisions. 
They  commenced  their  task  in  1607.  After  some  three  or 
four  years  of  diligent  labor,  the  whole  was  completed.  This  ver- 
sion was  generally  adopted,  and  the  other  translations  fell  into 
disuse.     It  has  continued  in  use  until  the  present  time. 


112  THE  BIBLE. 

DISSECTION   OF  THE  OLD  AND   NEW  TESTAMENTS. 

Books  in  the  Old   >      .^ 
Testament  J  •••«*' 

Chapters 929 

Verses 23,214 

Words 692,439 

Letters 2,728,100 


In  the  New 27 

"        "     260 

"        "     7,959 

"        "     181,253 

"        «     838,380 


Total 6« 

••••*••■•  •••••••••  l,loV 

"    31,173 

"     773,692 

"     8,666,480 


▲POCRTPHA. 

Chapters 183  |  Verses. 6,081  |  Words 162,186' 

The  middle  chapter  and  the  least  in  the  Bible  is  Psalm  ozvii. 

The  middle  verse  is  the  eighth  of  Psalm  czviii. 

The  middle  line  is  in  2d  Chronicles,  4th  chapter,  16th  yerse. 

The  word  and  occurs  in  the  Old  Testament  35,543  times. 

The  same  in  the  New  Testament,  10,684. 

The  word  Jehovah  occurs  6,855  times. 

OLD   TESTAMENT. 

The  middle  book  is  Proverbs. 

The  middle  chapter  is  Job  zxix. 

The  middle  verse  is  in  2d  Chronicles,  20th  chapter,  between 
the  17th  and  18th  verses. 

The  least  verse  is  in  Ist  Chronicles,  1st  chapter,  and  25th 
verse. 

NEW  TESTAMENT. 

The  middle  book  b  the  2d  epistle  to  Thessalonians. 

The  middle  chaptei  is  between  the  13th  and  14th  of 
Romans. 

The  middle  verse  is  the  17th  chapter  of  Acts,  and  17th 
verse. 

The  least  verse  b  the  11th  chapter  of  John,  verse  35. 

The  21st  verse  of  the  7th  chapter  of  Ezra  has  all  the  letteri 
of  the  alphabet  io  it. 

The  19th  chapter  of  the  2d  book  of  Kings,  and  the  37th  of 
Isaiah,  are  alike. 

N.B. — ^Three  years  are  said  to  have  been  spent  in  this  curi- 
ous but  idle  calculation. 


THE  BIBLE.  113 

DISTINCTIONS  IN  THE  QOSPELS. 

1.  In  regard  to  their  external  features  and  characteristios : 
The  point  of  view  of  the  first  gospel  is  mainly  Lsraelitic; 

of  the  second,  Gentile;  of  the  third,  univeisal;  of  the  fourth, 
Christian. 

The  general  aspect,  and  so  to  speak,  physiognomy  of  the 
first,  mainly,  is  oriental;  of  the  second,  Roman;  of  the  third, 
Greek;  of  the  fourth,  spiritual. 

The  style  of  the  first  is  stately  and  rhythmical;  of  the 
second,  terse  and  precise;  of  the  third,  calm  and  copious;  of 
the  fourth,  artless  and  colloquial. 

The  striking  characteristic  of  the  first  is  symmetry;  of  the 
second  compression ;  of  the  third,  order ;  of  the  fourth,  system. 

The  thought  and  language  of  the  first  are  both  Hebraistic; 
of  the  third,  both  Hellenistic ;  while  in  the  second,  thought 
is  oflen  accidental  though  the  language  is  Hebraistic;  and  in 
the  fourth,  the  language  is  Hellenistic,  but  the  thought 
Hebraistic. 

2.  In  respect  to  their  subject-matter  and  contents : 

In  the  first  gospel,  narrative;  in  the  second,  memoirs;  in 
the  third,  history;    in  the  fourth,  dramatic  portraiture. 

In  the  first  we  often  have  the  record  of  events  in  their  ac- 
complishment; in  the  second,  events  in  detail;  in  the  third, 
events  in  their  connection ;  in  the  fourth,  events  in  relation 
to  the  teaching  springing  from  them. 

Thus  in  the  first  we  often  meet  with  the  notice  of  impres- 
sions; in  the  second,  of  facts;  in  the  third,  of  motives;  in 
the  fourth;  of  words  spoken. 

And,  lastly,  the  record  of  the  first  is  mainly  collective,  and 
often  anjtithetical;  of  the  second,  graphic  and  circumstantial; 
of  the  third,  didactic  and  reflective  ;  of  the  fourth,  selective 
and  supplemental. 

3.  In  respect  to  their  portraiture  of  our  Lord : 

The  first  presents  him  to  us  mainly  as  the  Messiah ;  the 
second,  mainly  as  the  God-man;  the  third,  as  the  Redeemer; 
the  fourth^  as  the  only  begotten  Son  of  God. 
H  10* 


114  THE   BIBLE. 

BOOKS  MENTIONED  IN  TUB  BIBLE  NOW  LOST  OR  UNKNOWN. 

1.  The  Propheoy  of  Enoch.     See  Epistle  to  Jude,  14. 

2.  The  Book  of  the  Wars  of  the  Lord.    See  Numb.  xxi.  14. 
8.  The  Prophetical  Gospel  of  Eve,  which  relates  to  the 

Amours  of  the  Sons  of  God  with  the  Daughters  of  Men.     See 
Origen  oont  Oelsum,  Tertul.  &o. 

4.  The  Book  of  Jasher.  See  Joshua  x.  13 ;  and  2  Samuel 
i.  18. 

5.  The  Book  of  Iddo  the  Seer.  See  2  Chronicles  ix.  29, 
and  zii.  15. 

6.  The  Book  of  Nathan  the  Prophet.     See  as  above. 

7.  The  Prophecies  of  Ahijah,  the  Shilonite.     See  as  above. 

8.  The  acts  of  Rehoboam,  in  Book  of  Shemaiah.  See  2 
Chronicles  zii.  15. 

9.  The  Book  of  Jehu  the  Son  of  Hanani.  See  2  Chronicles 
zz.  84. 

10.  The  Five  Books  of  Solomon,  treating  on  the  nature  of 
trees,  beasts,  fowl,  serpents,  and  fishes.  See  1  Kings  iv.  83. 

11.  The  15l8t  Psalm. 

THE  WORD  "SELAH." 

The  translators  of  the  Bible  have  left  the  Hebrew  word 
Selah,  which  occurs  so  often  in  the  Psalms,  as  they  found  it, 
and  of  course  the  English  reader  often  asks  his  minister,  or 
some  learned  friend,  what  it  means.  And  the  minister  or 
learned  friend  has  most  often  been  obliged  to  confess  ignorance, 
because  it  is  a  matter  in  regard  to  which  the  most  learned 
have  by  no  means  been  of  one  mind.  The  Targums,  and  most  of 
the  Jewish  commentators,  give  to  the  word  the  meaning  of  eter- 
nally  forever.  Rabbi  Kimchi  regards  it  as  a  sign  to  elevate  the 
voice.  The  authors  of  the  Septuagint  translation  appear  to  have 
considered  it  a  musical  or  rhythmical  note.  Herder  inclines  to 
the  opinion  that  it  indicates  a  change  of  tone,  which  is  ezpressed 
either  by  increase  of  force,  or  by  a  transition  into  another  time 
and  mode.  Matheson  thinks  it  is  a  musical  note,  equivalent, 
perhaps,  to  the  word  repeat.    According  to  Luther  and  others. 


THC  BIBLS.  115 

it  means  silence.  Gesenins  ezplaiDS  it  to  mean,  ''  Let  the  ia- 
Btraments  play  and  the  singers  stop."  Wocher  regards  it  as 
equivalent  to  mrsum  corda, — ^up,  my  sonl  I  Sommer,  after  ex* 
amining  all  the  seventy-four  passages  in  which  the  word  oocnrs, 
reoognizes  in  every  case  ''an  actual  appeal  or  summons  to  Je- 
hovah." They  are  calls  for  aid,  and  prayers  to  be  heard,  ez- 
proBsed  either  with  entire  directness,  or  if  not  in  the  impera- 
tive, Hear,  Jehovah  I  or  Awake,  Jehovah,  and  the  like,  still, 
earnest  addresses  to  €k>d  that  he  would  remember  and  hear, 
Ac.  The  word  itself  be  considers  indicative  of  a  blast  of  trum- 
pets by  the  priests,  Selah  being  an  abridged  expression  for 
Higgaion  Selah, — Higgaion  indicating  the  sound  of  the  stringed 
instruments,  and  Selah  a  vigorous  blast  of  trumpets. 

HEXAMETERS  IN   THE  BIBLE. 

In  the  Ptabnt. 

Odd  eSme  |  Up  with  &  |  shCiit:  Qnr  |  LCrd  with  UiS  |  sOand  8f  &  |  tramp«t| 
Then  Is  i  I  TiTfo  the  I  flSwIng  whSn-  |  Qf  sh&ll  |  gliddfo  th«  |  oIty.| 
HinS-  I  lll^h  the  I  eitjF  5f  I  GQd  I  J6-  |  hOT&h  h&th  |  blSst  h6r.( 

In  Ihs  Ntw  TetUxmenL 
Art  th5a  hS  |  th&t  shQald  {  cQme,  Qr  |  d5  w8  |  loOk  fSr  &- 1  nOthSr?! 
HlUbSnds,  |  lOre  yofir  |  wlrei,  And  |  b6  nSt  |  blttSr  &- 1  gSinit  th8m.| 
Bien'd  %xfi  thS  |  p9or  In  |  iplrlt,  f5r  |  thCin  b  ihS  |  kingdom  8f  |  h6aT6ii.| 

Mr.  Coleridge,  whose  enthusiastio  and  reverentia]  admiration 
of  the  rhetorical  beauty  and  poetic  grandeur  with  which  the 
Bible  abounds, — all  the  more  beautiful  and  the  more  sublime 
because  casual  and  unsought  by  the  sacred  writers, — ^took  great 
delight  in  pointing  out  the  hexametriccd  rhythm  of  numerous 
passages,  particularly  in  the  book  of  Isaiah  :-^ 

Hear,  0  hearexis,  and  give  ear,  |  0  earth :  for  the  Lord  hath  spoken. 

X  haTe  nourished  and  brought  up  children,  |  and  they  have  rebelled  against 

me. 
The  ox  knoweUk  his  owner,  |  and  the  ass  his  master's  crib : 
But  Israel  doth  not  know,  [  my  people  doth  not  consider. 


116  THE  BIBLB. 

Winer  points  out  the  following  hexameters  in  the  original 
Greek  version  of  the  New  Testament : — 

KpHrci  d  I  d  xf/tS  \  orat^  Koxd  \  ^ripia  |  yarrkpti  \  lipyai',— TitllS  L  12. 
nOfftt  U  I  9ti  dya  \^  Kai\  vi¥  icj  \  paifta  ri  \  Xcmv, — JaniM  L  17. 
Kal  ifOXi  I  d(  dp  I  ddc  aw  I  lioart  \  roXi  n«9ty  |  iyuip, — ^Heb.  ziL  IS. 

PARALLELISM  OF  THE   HEBREW  POETBT. 

The  prominent  characteristio  of  the  Hebrew  poetry  is  what 
Bishop  Lowth  entitles  Parallelismy  that  is,  a  certain  equality, 
resemblance,  or  relationship,  between  the  members  of  each 
period ;  so  that  in  two  lines,  or  members  of  the  same  period, 
things  shall  answer  to  things,  and  words  to  words,  as  if  fitted 
to  each  other  by  a  kind  of  rule  or  measure.  The  Psalms,  Pro- 
yerbs,  Solomon's  Song,  Job,  and  all  the  Prophets,  except  Daniel 
and  Jonah,  abound  with  instances. 

It  is  in  a  great  measure  owing  to  this  form  of  composition 
that  our  admirable  authorized  version,  though  executed  in 
prose,  retains  so  much  of  a  poetical  cast;  for,  being  strictly 
word  for  word  after  the  original,  the  form  and  order  of  the  ori- 
ginal sentences  are  preserved  \  which,  by  this  artificial  struc- 
ture, this  regular  alternation  and  correspondence  of  parts, 
makes  the  ear  sensible  of  a  departure  from  the  common  style 
and  tone  of  prose. 

The  different  kinds  of  parallels  are  illustrated  in  the  follow- 
ing examples : — 

ParaUeU  AtUtth€tie.—l?Tor,  x.  1,  7. 
A  wIm  son  maketh  a  glad  father ; 
But  a  fooliah  son  is  the  heayiness  of  his  mother. 
The  memory  of  the  just  is  blessed; 
But  the  name  of  the  wioked  shall  rot. 

ParaUtU  Synthetic — ProT.  yi.  16-19. 
These  six  things  doth  the  Lord  hate; 
Tea,  seyen  are  an  abomination  unto  him: 
A  proud  look,  a  lying  tongae, 
And  hands  that  shed  innocent  blood, 
A  heart  that  deyiseth  wicked  imaginations. 
Feet  that  be  swift  in  mnning  to  mischief, 
A  fiilse  witness  that  speaketh  lies, 
And  he  that  soweth  dif>cord  among  brethren. 


THE   BIBLE.  117 

OatutrueHve, — Psalm  ziz.  7-9. 
The  Iaw  of  the  Lord  is  perfect,  converting  the  soul ; 
The  testimony  of  the  Lord  is  sure,  making  wise  the  simple; 
The  statates  of  the  Lord  are  right,  rejoicing  the  heart; 
The  commandment  of  the  Lord  is  pure,  enlightening  the  ^es; 
The  fear  of  the  Lord  is  clean,  enduring  forever; 
The  judgments  of  the  Lord  are  tme,  and  righteous  altogether. 

ParaUeU  J^onym&ut, — Psalm  xz.  1-4 
The  Lord  hear  thee  in  the  day  of  trouble ; 
The  name  of  the  God  of  Jacob  defend  thee ; 
Bend  thee  help  from  the  sanctuary. 
And  strengthen  thee  out  of  Zion ; 
Remember  all  thine  offerings, 
And  accept  thy  burnt  sacrifice ; 
Grant  thee  according  to  thine  own  heart, 
And  fulfil  all  thy  counsel. 

OradationaU — Psalm  i.  !• 
Blessed  is  the  man 
That  walketh  not  in  the  counsel  of  the  ungodly, 
Nor  standeth  in  the  way  of  sinners. 
Nor  sitteth  in  the  seat  of  the  scornful. 

ParaOeU  Iniroverted.-^Tror.  zziiL  16, 10. 
My  son,  if  thy  heart  be  wise. 

My  heart  shall  rcgoice,  even  mine ; 

Yea,  my  reins  shall  rejoice 
When  thy  lips  speak  right  things. 

It  may  be  objected  to  Hebrew  poetry,  says  Qilfillan,  that  it 
has  DO  regular  rhythm  ezoept  a  mde  parallelism.  What  thenf 
Must  it  be,  therefore,  altogether  destitute  of  music  ?  Has  not 
the  rain  a  rhythm  of  its  own,  as  it  patters  on  the  pane,  or  sinks 
on  the  bosom  of  its  kindred  pool,?  Has  not  the  wind  a  har- 
mony, as  it  bows  the  groaning  woods,  or  howls  over  the  man- 
sions of  the  dead  ?  Have  not  the  waves  of  ocean  their  wild 
bass?  Has  not  the  thunder  its  own  deep  and  dreadfal  organ- 
pipe  ?  Do  they  speak  in  rhyme  ?  Do  they  murmur  in  blank 
Terse  ?  Who  taught  them  to  begin  in  Iambics,  or  to  close  in 
Alexandrines  7  And  shall  not  God's  own  speech  have  a  pecu- 
liar note,  no  more  barbarous  than  is  the  voice  of  the  old  woods 
or  the  older  cataracts  ? 


118  THE  BIBLE. 

Besides^  to  call  parallelism  a  coarse  or  nnconth  rhythm,  be- 
trays an  ignoraDce  of  its  nature.  Without  entering  at  large 
on  the  subject  of  Hebrew  versification,  we  may  ask  any  one 
who  has  paid  even  a  slight  attention  to  the  subject,  if  the 
effect  of  parallels  such  as  the  foregoing  examples,  perpetually 
intermingled  as  they  are,  be  not  to  enliven,  the  composition, 
often  to  give  distinctness  and  precision  to  the  train  of  thought, 
to  impress  the  sentiments  upon  the  memory,  and  to  give  out  a 
harmony  which,  if  inferior  to  rhyme  in  the  compression  pro- 
duced by  the  difficulty  (surmounted)  of  uniting  varied  sense 
with  recurring  sound,  and  in  the  pleasure  of  surprise ;  and  to 
blank  verse,  in  freedom,  in  the  effects  produced  by  the  va- 
riety of  pause,  and  in  the  force  of  long  and  linked  passages, 
as  well  as  of  insulated  lines,  is  less  slavish  than  the  one,  and 
less  arbitrary  than  the  other  ?  Unlike  rhyme,  its  point  is  more 
that  of  thought  than  of  language ;  unlike  blank  verse,  it  never 
can,  however  managed,  degenerate  into  heavy  prose.  Such  is 
parallelism,  which  generally  forms  the  differential  quality  of  the 
poetry  of  Scripture,  although  there  are  many  passages  in  it 
destitute  of  this  aid,  and  which  yet,  in  the  spirit  they  breathe, 
and  the  metaphors  by  which  they  are  garnished,  are  genuine 
and  high  poetry.  And  there  can  be  little  question  that  in  the 
parallelism  of  the  Hebrew  tongue  we  can  trace  many  of  the 
peculiarities  of  modem  writing,  and  in  it  find  the  fountain  of 
the  rhythm,  the  pomp  and  antithesis,  which  lend  often  such 
grace,  and  always  such  energy,  to  the  style  of  Johnson,  of  Ju- 
nius, of  Burke,  of  Hall,  of  Chalmers, — indeed,  of  most  writers 
who  rise  to  the  grand  swells  of  prose-poetry. 

8IMILABITT  OV  SOUND. 

There  is  a  remarkable  similarity  of  sound  in  a  passage  in  the 
Second  Book  of  Kings,  ch.  iii.  v.  4,  to  the  metrical  rhythm  of 
CampbeH's  Battle  of  the  Baltic: — 

A  hundred  thoasand  lambs. 
And  a  hundred  thousand  rams. 
With  the  wool. 


THE  BIBLE.  119 

Bj  each  gim  the  lighted  brand. 
In  a  bold  determined  hand. 
And  the  Prince  of  all  the  land 
Led  them  on. 

PARALLEL  PA8&AOE8  BETWEEN   SHAKSPEARE  AND  THE 
BIBLE. 

An  Englbb  minister;  Rev.  T.  R.  Eaton,  has  written  a  work 
entitled  Shakspeare  and  the  Bible,  for  the  purpose  of  showing 
how  much  Shakspeare  was  indebted  to  the  Bible  for  many  of 
his  illustrations,  rhythms,  and  even  modes  of  feeling.  The 
author  affirms  that,  in  storing  his  mind,  the  immortal  bard 
went  first  to  the  word,  and  then  to  the  works,  of  Gh)d.  In 
shaping  the  truths  derived  from  these  sources,  he  obeyed  the 
instinct  implanted  by  Him  who  had  formed  him  Shakspeare. 
Hence  his  power  of  inspiring  us  with  sublime  affection  for  that 
which  is  properly  good,  and  of  chilling  us  with  horror  by  his 
fearful  delineations  of  evil.  Shakspeare  perpetually  reminds 
as  of  the  Bible,  not  by  direct  quotations,  indirect  allusion,  bor- 
rowed idioms,  or  palpable  imitation  of  phrase  or  style,  but  by  an 
elevation  of  thought  and  simplicity  of  diction  which  are  not  to 
be  found  elsewhere.  A  passage,  for  instance,  rises  in  our 
thoughts,  unaccompanied  by  a  clear  recollection  of  its  origin. 
Our  first  impression  is  that  it  must  belong  either  to  the  Bible 
or  Shakspeare.  No  other  author  excites  the  same  feeling  in  an 
equal  degree.  In  Shakspeare's  plays  religion  is  a  vital  and 
active  principle,  sustaining  the  good,  tormenting  the  wicked, 
and  influencing  the  hearts  and  lives  of  all. 

Although  the  writer  carries  his  leading  idea  too  far,  by  strain- 
ing passages  to  multiply  the  instances  in  which  Shakspeare  has 
imitated  scriptural  sentences  in  thought  and  construction,  and 
by  leading  his  readers  to  infer  that  it  was  from  the  Bible  Shak* 
Bpeare  drew  not  only  his  best  thoughts,  but  in  fact  his  whole 
power  of  inspiring  us  with  affection  for  good  and  horror  for 
evil,  it  is  certainly  true  that  some  hundreds  of  Biblical  allu- 
sions, however  brief  and  simple,  show  Shakspeare's  conversance 
with  the  Bible,  his  fondness  for  it,  and  the  almost  unconscious 


120  THE  BIBLE. 

recurrence  of  it  in  his  mind.     The  following  examples  of  his 
parallelisms  will  he  found  interesting : — 

Othello. — Rude  un  I  in  my  speech. — i.  3. 

But  though  I  be  nide  in  speech. — 2  Cor.  zL  8. 

Witchet, — Show  his  eyes  and  griere  his  heart— ifac6et&y  iv.  1. 

Consnme  thine  eyes  and  gricTe  thine  heart — 1  Sam.  IL  83. 

Maeheik. — Lighted  fools  the  way  to  dasty  death. — ^r.  5. 

Then  hast  brought  me  into  the  dost  of  death. — Ps.  zxii.  16. 

Dusty  death  alludes  to  the  sentence  pronounced  against 
Adam : — 

Bost  thou  arty  and  onto  dust  shalt  thon  return. — Gen.  ill.  19. 

Jfaeheth. — Life's  but  a  walking  shadow. — r.  5. 

Man  walketh  in  a  rain  show. — ^Ps.  xzzix.  6. 

PHnee  of  Morocco, — Mislike  me  not  for  my  complezion, 
The  shadowed  livery  of  the  burnished  sun. — Merck.  Ven.  ii.  1. 

Look  not  upon  me,  because  I  am  black,  because  the  sun  hath  looked  upon 
me. — Sol.  Song,  i.  6. 

Olhello. — I  took  by  the  throat,  the  circumcised  dog,  and  smote  him. — ^y.  2. 

I  smote  him,  I  caught  him  by  his  beard  and  imote  him,  and  fclew  hlm^— 
1  Sam.  zYii.  35. 

Macbeth. — Let  this  pernicious  hour  stand  aye  accursed  in  the  calendar. — 
iT.  1. 

Opened  Job  his  mouth  and  cursed  his  day ;  let  it  not  be  joined  unto  the  dayi 
of  the  year,  let  it  not  oome  into  the  number  of  the  months.«-Job  ilL  1,  tt. 

HcmleL — ^What  a  piece  of  work  is  man  I  How  noble  in  reason,  how  infinita 
in  faculties !  In  form  and  moying,  how  ezpress  and  admirable  I  In  ac- 
tion, how  like  an  angel !  In  apprehension,  how  like  a  God  I  The  beauty 
of  the  world,  the  paragon  of  animals  I — iL  2. 

What  is  man,  that  thou  art  mindflxl  of  him  ?  For  thou  hast  made  him  a 
little  lower  than  the  angels,  and  hast  crowned  him  with  gloiy  and  honor. 
Thou  madest  him  to  have  dominion  orer  the  works  of  thy  hands.— 
Ps.  viii.  4,  6,  «. 

Macbeth. — We  will  die  with  harness  on  our  back. — ^y.  6. 

Nicanor  lay  dead  in  his  harness. — 2  Maccabees  zr.  28. 

Banquo. — ^Woe  to  the  land  that's  goremed  by  a  ohUd. 

Woe  to  thee,  0  land,  when  thy  king  is  a  child. — Eccles.  z.  16. 

Banquo. — In  the  great  hand  of  God  I  stand. — Macbeth  ii.  8. 

Thy  right  hand  hath  holden  me  up. — Ps.  zTiiL  35. 

Man  the  image  of  his  Maker. — Henry  VIIL,  iiL  2. — Oen,  I.  27. 

Blessed  are  the  peacemakers. — 2  Henry  VI.,  iL  1. — Matt,  V.  20. 


THE  BIBLE.  121 

And  when  he  fells  he  felli  like  Lneifer^lTmyy  VIIL,  UL 1 
How  art  then  fallen  from  heareui  0  Lnoifer,  ion  of  the  moniag  1— 
Isaiah  zir.  12. 

No,  Bolingbroke,  if  vwfst  I  were  traitor. 

My  name  be  blotted  from  the  book  of  life. — Riekard  IT^  L  3. 

Whose  names  were  not  written  In  the  book  of  life. — Ber.  xz.,  zzL 

Bwear  by  thy  gnurioas  seUl — Rom€0  and  Jmliet,  ii.  3. 

He  oonld  swear  by  no  greater,  he  sware  by  himself. — Heb.  ri.  IS. 

My  stay,  my  guide,  and  lantern  to  my  feet — ^2  Henry  VL,  IL  8. 

Thy  word  is  a  lamp  nnto  my  feet,  and  a  light  nnto  my  path. — Ps.  eziz.  lOfr. 

Who  ean  oall  him  his  friend  that  dips  in  the  same  dishf — Tiinon  q^ 

Athent,  iiL  2. 
He  that  dippeth  his  hand  with  me  in  the  dish,  the  same  shall  betray  me«— 

Matt.  zztL  23. 

You  shall  see  him  a  palm  in  Athens  again,  and  flonrish  with  the  highest 

— TimoH  of  Atke»9f  v.  1. 
The  righteous  shall  flonrish  like  the  palm-tree. — Ps.  zeiL  12. 

It  is  written,  they  appear  to  men  like  angels  of  light— Cbsi.  of  Error§,  It.  8 
Satan  himself  is  transformed  into  an  angel  of  light — 2  Cor.  zl.  14. 

And  lose  my  way 
Among  the  thorns  and  dangers  of  this  world. — King  John,  Itj  8. 
Thorns  and  snares  are  in  the  way  of  the  firoward. — Pror.  zzli.  6. 
When  we  first  put  this  dangerous  stone  a  rolling, 
Twould  fall  upon  ourselyes. — Henry  VIIL,  r.  2. 

He  that  rolleth  a  stone^  it  will  return  upon  him. — Pror.  zztI.  27. 

The  speech  of  Ulysses,  in  "  Troilns  and  Gressida/'  i.  8,  is 
almost  a  paraphrase  of  St.  Luke  zxi.  2b,  26 : — 
But  when  the  planets 
In  eyU  miztnre  to  disorder  wander. 
What  plagues,  and  what  portents !    What  mutiny  I 
What  raging  of  the  sea !    Shaking  of  earth  I 
Commotion  in  the  winds !  frights,  ohanges,  horrors, 
Dirert  and  craok,  rend  and  deracinate 
The  unity  and  married  oalm  of  states 
Quite  from  their  fixture. 
And  thero  shall  be  signs  in  the  sun,  and  in  the  moon,  and  in  the  stars ; 
and  upon  the  earth  distress  of  nations,  with  perplezity ;  the  sea  and 
the  wares  roaring ;  men's  hearts  failing  them  for  fear,  and  for  looking 
after  those  things  which  aro  ooming  on  the  earth ;  for  the  powers  of 
heayen  shall  be  shaken. 

11 


122  THE  BIBLE. 

Hermia  and  Lear  both  use  an  expression  derived  from  the 
same  sonrce : — 
Hermitt. — An  adder  did  it;  for  with  donbler  toDgae 

Than  thine,  thou  serpent^  nerer  adder  stnng. — Mid.  If.  Drwxnt,  iii.  2. 
Lear. — Struck  me  with  her  tongue, 

Most  serpent-like,  upon  the  yery  heart — ii.  4. 
They  have  sharpened  their  tongues  like  a  serpent;  adders'  poison  is  under 

their  lips. — Ps.  cxl.  3. 

Lear. — All  the  stored  vengeances  of  heaven  fall  on  her  ingratefnl  top.— 
ii.  4. 

As  for  the  head  of  those  that  compass  me  about,  let  the  mischief  of  their 
own  lips  cover  them. — Ps.  cxl.  9. 

Fool  to  King  Lear. — ^We'll  set  thee  to  school  to  an  ant,  to  teach  thee 
there's  no  laboring  in  the  winter. — it  4. 

The  ants  are  a  people  not  strong,  jet  they  prepare  their  meat  in  the  sum- 
mer.— Prov.  XXX.  25.     See  also  Prov.  vi.  6. 

WHO  IB  THE   TRUE  GENTLEMAN? 

The  answer  to  this  question  will  afford  one  of  numberless 
Instances  that  can  be  adduced  to  show  the  superiority  of  in- 
spired composition.  Compare  Bishop  Doane's  admired  defini- 
tion with  that  of  the  Psalmist: — 

A  gentleman  is  but  a  gentle  man — ^no  more,  no  less ;  a  diamond  polished 
that  was  a  diamond  in  the  rough:  a  gentleman  is  gentle;  a  gentleman  is 
modest;  a  gentleman  is  courteous;  a  gentleman  is  generous;  a  gentleman 
is  slow  to  take  offence,  as  being  one  that  never  gives  it;  a  gentleman  is  slow 
to  surmise  evil,  as  being  one  that  never  thinks  it;  a  gentleman  goes  armed 
only  in  consciousness  of  right;  a  gentleman  subjects  his  appetites;  a  gentle- 
man refines  his  tastes;  a  gentleman  subdues  his  feelings;  a  gentleman  con- 
trols his  speech ;  and  finally,  a  gentleman  deems  every  other  better  than 
himself: 

In  the  paraphrase  of  Psalm  xv.  it  is  thus  answered : — 
'Tis  he  whose  every  thought  and  deed 

By  rules  of  virtue  moves; 
Whose  generous  tongue  disdains  to  speak 

The  thing  his  heart  disproves. 
Who  never  did  a  slander  forge, 

His  neighbor's  fame  to  wound| 
Nor  hearken  to  a  false  report. 
By  malice  whispered  round. 
Who  vice,  in  all  its  pomp  and  power, 
Can  treat  with  just  neglect, 


THE  BIBLE.  123 

And  pietji  though  olothed  in  ni|;f, 

Religiously  reapock 
Who  to  hlB  plighted  tows  and  trost 

Has  erer  firmly  stood ; 
And  though  be  promise  to  his  losi. 

He  makes  his  promise  good. 
Whose  sool  in  nsnry  disduns 

His  treasure  to  employ ; 
Whom  no  rewards  can  ever  bribe 

The  guiltless  to  destroy. 

inSQUOTATIONS   FROM   SCRIPTURE. 

''God  tempers  the  wind  to  the  shorn  lamb."*  From  Sterne's  SentimeiUal 
Journeif  to  Italy.    Compare  Isaiah  xzvii.  8. 

"In  the  midst  of  life  we  are  in  death."  From  the  Burial  Senrice ;  and  this, 
originally,  from  a  hymn  of  Luther. 

"  Bread  and  wine  which  the  Lord  hath  commanded  to  be  reoeired."  From 
the  English  Catechism. 

"  Not  to  be  wise  aboTo  what  is  written."    Not  in  Scripture. 

"That  the  Spirit  would  go  from  heart  to  heart  as  oU  from  Teasel  to  TesseL" 
Not  in  Scripture. 

"The  merciful  man  is  merciful  to  bis  beast"  Th6  scriptural  form  is,  "A 
righteous  man  regardeth  the  life  of  his  beast" — ProT.  ziL  10. 

"A  nation  shall  be  bom  in  a  day."  In  Isaiah  it  reads,  "  Shall  a  nation  be 
bom  at  once?" — IxvL  8. 

"As  iron  sharpeneth  iron,  so  doth  a  man  the  countenance  of  his  friend." 
"Iron  sharpeneth  iron;  so  a  man  sharpeneth  the  eountenanoe  of  his  friend." 
ProT.  xxtIL  17. 

"  That  he  who  rans  may  read."  "  That  he  may  run  that  readeth."— Hab.  ii.  2. 

"Owe  no  man  any  thing  but  lore."  "Owe  no  man  any  thing,  but  to  Ioto 
one  another." — Rom.  ziiL  8. 

"  Prone  to  sin  as  the  sparks  fly  upward."  "  Born  unto  trouble,  as  the 
sparks  fly  upward." — Job  v.  7. 

"Exalted  to  heaTon  in  point  of  priTilege."    Not  in  the  Bible. 

Etc  was  not  Adam's  helpmate,  but  merely  a  help  meet  for  him ;  nor  was 
Absalom's  long  hair,  of  which  he  was  so  proud,  the  instrament  of  his  destrao- 
tion  ;f  his  head,  and  not  the  bur  upon  it,  baring  been  caught  in  the  boughs 
of  the  tree.    (2  Samuel  xriiL  9.) 


*  In  a  collection  of  proTorbs  published  in  1504,  we  find,  "  Dieu  memtre  It 
valid  la  Irebit  tondue,"  and  Herbert  has  in  his  Jacula  Pradentum,  "To  a 
dose  shorn  sheep  Ood  gives  wind  by  measure." 

t  A  London  periwig-maker  once  had  a  sign  upon  which  was  painted  Absa- 
lom suspended  from  Uie  branches  of  the  oak  by  his  hair,  and  underneath  the 
following  couplet: — 

If  Absalom  hadn't  wom  his  own  hair. 
He'd  ne'er  been  found  a  hanging  there. 


124  THB  BIBLB. 

"Money  is  the  root  of  evil."  Paul  Baid,  L  Timothy,  yi.  10,  "The  lore 
of  money  is  the  root  of  all  eyil." 

"  In  the  sweat  of  thy  faoe  shalt  thou  eat  bread/'  Gen.  iii.  19.  Commonly 
quoted  "  brow." 

"  Cleanlinesa  akin  to  godlinesd."    Not  in  the  Bible. 

Oar  Lord's  hearing  the  doctors  in  the  Temple,  and  asking  them  questionSy 
ifl  frequently  called  his  disputing  with  the  doctors. 

A   SCRIPTURAL  BULL. 

In  tihe  book  of  Isaiali.  chapter  zxxvii.  verse  36,  is  the  follow- 
ing concision  of  ideas : — 

Then  the  angel  of  the  Lord  went  forth,  and  smote  in  the  camp  of  the 
Assyrians  a  hundred  and  fourscore  and  five  thousand:  and  when  thejf 
€trote  early  in  the  morning,  behold,  they  were  all  dead  eorptee. 


WIT  AND   HUMOR  IN   THE  BIBLE. 

"  Shocking  I "  many  a  good  old  saint  will  cry,  at  the  very 
thought  of  it.  <'  The  Bible  a  jest-book !  What  godless  folly 
shall  we  have  up  next?"  No,  the  Bible  is  not  a  jest-book. 
But  there  is  wit  in  it  of  the  first  quality;  and  a  good  reason 
why  it  should  be  there.     Take  a  few  specimens. 

Job,  in  his  thirtieth  chapter,  is  telling  how  he  scorned  the 
low-lived  fellows,  who  pretend  to  look  down  on  him  in  his 
adversities.  They  are  fools.  They  belong  to  the  long-eared 
fraternity.  Anybody,  with  less  wit,  might  come  out  bluntly 
and  call  them  asses.  But  Job  puts  it  more  deftly  (xzz.  7): 
^' Among  the  bushes  they  brayed;  under  then^^^^  they  were 
gathered  together."  If  that  is  not  wit,  there  is  no  such  thing 
as  wit.  And  yet  the  commentators  don't  see  it^  or  won't  see 
it.  They  are  perfectly  wooden  when  they  oome  to  any  such 
gleam  of  humor. 

Take  another  instance — Elijah's  ridicule  of  the  prophets 
of  Baal.  They  are  clamoring  to  their  god,  to  help  them  out 
of  a  very  awkward  predicament.  And,  while  they  are  at  it,  the 
prophet  shows  them  up  in  a  way  that  must  have  made  the 


THS  BIBLl.  125 

people  roar  witb  langliter.  The  stiff,  antiquated  style  of  our 
English  Bible  tames  down  his  sallies.  Take  them  in  modern 
phrase.  These  quack  prophets  have  worked  themselves  into 
a  perfect  desperation,  and  are  capering  about  on  the  altar  as 
if  they  had  the  St.  Y itus's  dance.  The  scene  (I.  Kings  zviiL 
26,  27)  wakes  up  all  Elijah's  sense  of  the  ridiculous.  '<  Shout 
louder!  He  is  a  god^  you  know.  Make  him  hear!  Perhaps 
he  is  chatting  with  somebody,  or  he  is  off  on  a  hunt,  or  gone 
traveling.  Or  maybe  he  is  taking  a  nap.  Shout  away  I  Wake 
him  up!"  Imagine  the  priests  going  through  their  antics  on 
the  altar,  while  Elijah  bombards  them  in  this  style,  at  his 
\eisure. 

Paul  shows  a  dry  humor  more  than  once,  as  in  II.  Cor.  xii. 
13:  "Why  haven't  you  fared  as  well  as  the  other  churches? 
Ah!  there  is  one  grievance — that  you  haven't  had  me  to  sup- 
port    Pray  do  not  lay  it  up  against  me !" 

These  instances  might  be  multiplied  from  the  Old  and  New 
Testaments  both.  What  do  they  show?  That  the  Bible  is, 
on  the  whole,  a  humorous  book  ?  Far  from  it.  That  religion 
is  a  humorous  subject — ^that  we  are  to  throw  all  the  wit  we 
can  into  the  treatment  of  it?  No.  But  they  show  that  the 
sense  of  the  ludicrous  is  put  into  a  man  by  his  Maker ;  that 
it  has  its  uses,  and  that  we  are  not  to  be  ashamed  of  it,  or 
to  roll  up  our  eyes  in  a  holy  horror  of  it. 

THB  OLD  AND  THB  NBW  TESTAMENT. 

The  name  Old  Testament  was  applied  to  the  books  of  Moses 
by  St.  Paul  (11.  Cor.  iii.  14),  inasmuch  as  the  former  covenant 
comprised  the  whole  scheme  of  the  Mosaic  revelation,  and  the 
history  of  this  is  contained  in  them.  The  phrase  "  book  of 
the  covenant,"  taken  from  Exod.  xxiv.  7,  was  transferred  in 
the  course  of  time  by  metonymy  to  signify  the  writings  them- 
selves. The  term  New  Testament  has  been  in  common  use 
since  the  third  century,  and  was  employed  by  Eusebius  in  the 
sense  in  which  it  is  now  applied. 


126  THE   BIBLE. 

A   SCRIPTURAL  SUM. 

Add  to  your  faith,  virtoe ; 

And  to  yirtae,  knowledge ; 

And  to  knowledge,  temperance; 

And  to  temperance,  patience; 

And  to  patience,  godliness; 

And  to  godliness,  brotherly  kindness; 

And  to  brotherly  kindness,  charity. 
The  Annoer : — For  if  these  things  be  in  you  and  abound,  they  make  you 
that  ye  shall  neither  be  barren  nor  anfraitfhl  in  the  knowledge  of  onr  Lord 
Jesos  Christ— 2  Peter  L  5,  8. 

BIBLIOMANCY. 

Bibliomancy,  or  divination  by  the  Bible,  had  become  so  com 
mon  in  the  fifth  oenturj,  that  several  councils  were  obliged  ex- 
pressly to  forbid  it,  as  injurious  to  religion,  and  savoring  of 
idolatry. 

This  kind  of  divination  was  named  Sortes  Sanctorum^  or  Sor- 
tes  Sacrm,  Lots  of  the  Saints,  or  Sacred  Lots,  and  consisted  in 
suddenly  opening,  or  dipping  into,  the  Bible,  and  regarding  the 
passage  that  first  presented  itself  to  the  eye  as  predicting  the 
future  lot  of  the  inquirer.  The  Sortes  Sanctorum  had  suc- 
ceeded the  Sortes  Homericse  and  Sortes  VirgilianBi  of  the  Pagans ; 
among  whom  it  was  customary  to  take  the  work  of  some  famous 
poet,  as  Homer  or  Virgil,  and  write  out  different  verses  on 
separate  scrolls,  and  afterwards  draw  one  of  them,  or  else,  open- 
ing the  book  suddenly,  consider  the  first  verse  that  presented 
itself  as  a  prognostication  of  future  events.  Even  the  vagrant 
fortune-tellers,  like  some  of  the  gypsies  of  our  own  times, 
adopted  this  method  of  imposing  upon  the  credulity  of  the 
ignorant.  The  nations  of  the  East  retain  the  practice  to  the 
present  day.  The  famous  usurper.  Nadir  Shah,  twice  decided 
upon  besieging  cities,  by  opening  at  random  upon  verses  of  the 
celebrated  poet  Hafiz. 

This  abuse,  which  was  first  introduced  into  the  church  about 
the  third  century,  by  the  superstition  of  the  people,  afterwards 
gained  ground  through  the  ignorance  of  some  of  the  clergy,  who 
permitted  prayers  to  be  read  in  the  churches  for  this  very  pur- 


THE  NAME  OV  GOD.  127 

po6e.  It  was  therefore  found  necessary  to  ordain  in  the  Coun- 
cil of  Vannes,  held  A.D.  465,  ''That  whoever  of  the  clergy 
or  laity  should  he  detected  in  the  practice  of  this  art  should 
be  cast  out  of  the  communion  of  the  church."  In  506|  the 
Council  of  Agde  renewed  the  decree;  and  in  578,  the  Council 
of  Auzerre,  amongst  other  kinds  of  divination,  forbade  the 
Lots  of  the  Saints,  as  they  were  called,  adding,  <<  Let  all  thinga 
be  done  in  the  name  of  the  Lord;"  but  these  ordinances  did 
not  effectually  suppress  them,  for  we  find  them  again  noticed 
and  condemned  in  a  capitulary  or  edict  of  Charlemagne,  in  793. 
Indeed,  all  endeavors  to  banish  them  from  the  Christian 
chureh  appear  to  have  been  in  vain  for  ages. 


Cije  Name  of  <SoTi. 

T«ll  them  I  AM,  Jkhoyjlb  said 

To  Moses,  while  earth  heard  in  dread; 

And,  smitten  to  the  heart, 
At  onoe,  above,  beneath,  aroand. 
All  natore,  without  voice  or  soond, 

Replied,  0  Lobd!  THOU  ABT! 

OkriHopier  JShtuurt,  cm  JBngluk  Lunatic. 

It  is  singular  that  the  name  of  God  should  be  spelled  with 
/our  letters  in  almost  every  known  language.  It  is  in  Latin, 
Deus;  Greek,  Zeus;  Hebrew,  Adon;  Syrian,  Adad;  Arabian, 
Alia;  Persian,  Syra;  Tartarian,  Idga;  Egyptian,  Aumn,  or 
Zeut;  East  Indian,  Esgi,  or  Zenl;  Japanese,  Zain;  Turkish, 
Addi;  Scandinavian,  Odin;  Wallachian,  Zenc;  Croatian, 
Boga;  Dalmatian,  Rogt;  Tyrrhenian,  Eher;  Etrurian,  Chur; 
Margarian,  Oese;  Swedish,  Codd;  Irish,  Dich;  German,  Gott; 
French,  Dieu  ;  Spanish,  Dies;  Peruvian,  Lian. 

The  name  God  in  the  Anglo-Saxon  language  means  good, 
and  this  signification  affords  singular  testimony  of  the  Angio- 
Saxon  conception  of  the  essence  of  the  Divine  Being.     He  is 


128  THE   NAME  OF  GOD. 

goodness  itaelf,  and  the  Author  of  all  goodness.  Yet  the  idea 
of  denoting  the  Deity  hy  a  term  equivalent  to  abstract  and  ab- 
solute perfection,  striking  as  it  may  appear,  is  perhaps  less  re- 
markable than  the  fact  that  the  word  Man^  used  to  designate  a 
human  being,  formerly  signified  wickedness  ;  showing  how  well 
aware  were  its  originators  that  our  &llen  nature  had  become 
indentified  with  sin. 

JEHOVAH. 

The  word  Ehhim^  a»  an  appellation  of  Deity,  appears  to 
have  been  in  use  before  the  Hebrews  had  attained  a  national  ex- 
istence. That  Jehovah  is  specifically  the  (Jod  of  the  Hebrews 
is  clear,  from  the  iact  that  the  heathen  deities  never  receive  this 
name ;  they  are  always  spoken  of  as  Elohim.  Both  the  pronun- 
ciation and  the  etymological  derivation  of  the  word  Jehovah 
are  matters  of  critical  controversy.  The  Jews  of  later  periods 
from  religious  awe  abstained  from  pronouncing  it,  and  whenever 
it  occurred  in  reading,  substituted  the  word  Adonai  (my  Lord) ; 
and  it  is  now  generally  believed  that  the  sublinear  vowel  signs 
attached  to  the  Hebrew  tetragrammaton  Jhvh  belong  to  the 
substituted  word.  Many  believe  Jahveh  to  be  the  original  pro- 
nunciation. The  Hebrew  root  of  the  word  is  believed  to  be 
the  verb  havah  or  hayah^  to  be ;  hence  its  meaning  through- 
out the  Scriptures,  "the  Being,"  or  "the  Everlasting." 

GOD   IN   8HAK8PEARB. 

Michelet  {Jeanne  dArc^")  speaking  of  English  literature,  says 
that  it  is  "  Scrptique,  judaique^  sdtaidgue. "  In  a  note  he  says, 
"  I  do  not  recollect  to  have  seen  the  word  God  in  Shakspeare. 
If  it  is  there  at  all,  it  is  there  very  rarely,  by  chance,  and  with- 
out a  shadow  of  religious  sentiment."  Mrs.  Cowden  Clarke, 
by  means  of  her  admirable  Concordance  to  Shakspeare,  enables 
us  to  weigh  the  truth  of  this  eminent  French  writer's  remark. 
The  word  God  occurs  in  Shakspeare  upwards  of  one  thousand 
times,  and  the  word  heaven,  which  is  so  frequently  substituted 
for  the  word  God — ^more  especially  in  the  historical  plays — occurs 
about  eiffht  hundred  times.     In  the  Holy  Scriptures,  according 


THE   NAME  OF  OOD.  129 

to  Gruden,  it  oocara  about  eight  hundred  times.  It  is  true  that 
the  word  often  occurs  in  Shakspeare  without  a  reverential  senti- 
ment ;  but  M.  Michelct  says  it  never  occurs  with  a  religious 
feeling  (un  sentiment  religieux.^  This  statement  is  almost  as 
erroneous  as  that  regarding  the  absence  of  the  word.  It  would 
be  easy  for  an  £nglish  scholar  to  produce  from  Shakspeare  more 
passages  indicative  of  deep  religious  feeling  than  are  to  be  found 
in  any  French  writer  whatever. 

THE   PARSES,    JEW,    AND   CHRISTIAN. 

A  Jew  entei^sd  a  Parsee  temple,  and  beheld  the  sacred  fire. 
"What!"  said  he  to  the  priest,  "do  you  worship  the  fire  ?" 

"Not  the  fire,"  answered  the  priest :  "it  is  to  us  an  emblem 
of  the  sun,  and  of  his  genial  heat." 

"Bo  you  then  worship  the  sun  as  your  god  ?"  asked  the  Jew. 
"  Enow  ye  not  that  this  luminary  also  is  but  a  work  of  that 
Almighty  Creator?" 

"We  know  it,"  replied  the  priest:  "but  the  uncultivated 
man  requires  a  sensible  sign,  in  order  to  form  a  conception  of 
the  Most  High.  And  is  not  the  sun  the  incomprehensible 
source  of  light,  an  image  of  that  invisible  being  who  blesses 
and  preserves  all  things  ?" 

"Do  your  people,  then,"  rejoined  the  Israelite,  "  distinguish 
the  type  from  the  original  ?  They  call  the  sun  their  god,  and, 
descending  even  from  this  to  a  baser  object,  they  kneel  before 
an  earthly  flame  !  Ye  amuse  the  outward  but  blind  the  inward 
eye;  and  while  ye  hold  to  them  the  earthly,  ye  draw  from  them 
the  heavenly  light !  '  Thou  shalt  not  make  unto  thyself  any 
image  or  any  likeness.' " 

"How  do  you  name  the  Supreme  Being?"  asked  the  Parsee. 

"  We  call  him  Jehovah  Adonai,  that  is,  the  Lord  who  is, 
who  was,  and  who  will  be,"  answered  the  Jew. 

"  Your  appellation  is  grand  and  sublime,"  said  the  Parsee; 
"but  it  is  awful  too." 

A  Christian  then  drew  nigh,  and  said, — 

"We  call  him  Father." 
I 


130  I-    H.    8. 

The  Pagan  and  the  Jew  looked  at  each  other,  and  said, — 
<<  Here  is  at  once  an  image  and  a  reality :  it  is  a  word  of  the 
heart." 

Therefore  they  all  raised  their  eyes  to  heaven,  and  said,  with 
reverence  and  love,  "Our  Father  1"  and  they  took  each 
by  the  hand,  and  all  three  called  one  another  brotJurs! 


DB  V0XI5B   JESU. 

I  n  reboB  Untifl  trina  conjunctio  mtind  I 
£  rigit  humanum  sensum,  laudare  Tenust  E 
S  ola  salus  nobis,  et  mnndi  summa,  potesta  S 
V  enit  peocati  nodum  dissolrere  frnct  V 
S  umma  saloa  cnnotas  nituit  per  secala  terra  S** 

The  letters  I.  H.  S.  so  conspicuously  appended  to  different 
portions  of  Catholic  churches,  are  said  to  have  been  designed 
by  St.  Bernardino  of  Sienna,  to  denote  the  name  and  mission 
of  the  Saviour.  They  are  to  be  found  in  a  circle  above  the 
principal  door  of  the  Franciscan  Church  of  the  Holy  Cross^ 
(^Santa  Croce^)  in  Florence,  and  are  said  to  have  been  put  there 
by  the  saint  on  the  termination  of  the  plague  of  1347,  after 
which  they  were  commonly  introduced  into  churches.  The 
letters  have  assigned  to  them  the  following  signification : — 

Jesus  hominam  Salvator — Jesus,  the  Sanour  of  men. 

In  hoc  salus — In  him  is  salration. 

*  I  n  times  momentous  appeared  the  world's  triple  conjunctioo, 
E  neouraging  human  hearts  to  shout  melodious  praises. 
S  ole  salvation  for  us,  that  power  exalted  'bove  measure, 
U  nioosed  the  bonds  of  sin  through  the  precious  atonement 
S  alyation  illumines  all  earth  through  ages  unceasing. 


I.   H.   8.  131 

A  maker  of  plajing-cards^  whicb,  like  missek,  were  illumi- 
Dated  in  those  times,  was  one  day  remonstrated  with  by  St.  Ber- 
nardioe,  upon  the  sinfulness  of  his  business.  The  card-maker 
pleaded  the  needs  of  his  family.  "  Well,  I  will  help  you," 
said  the  saint,  and  wrote  the  letters  I.  H.  S.,  which  he  advised 
the  card-maker  to  paint  and  gild.  The  new  card  ''took,"  and 
the  saint  himself  travelled  about  the  country  as  a  poster  of  theso 
little  sacred  handbills  of  the  Church. 

THE  FLOWER  OF  JESSE. 
1520. 
There  is  a  flower  sprang  of  a  tree. 
The  root  of  it  is  called  Josse, 
A  flower  of  price, — 
There  is  none  such  in  Paradise. 

Of  Lily  white  and  Rose  of  Ryse, 
Of  Primrose  and  of  Fiower-de-Ljse^ 
Of  all  flowers  in  my  deryce. 
The  flower  of  Jesse  beareth  the  prise, 

For  most  of  all 
To  help  oar  souls  both  great  and  small. 

I  praise  the  flower  of  good  Jessei, 
Of  all  the  flowers  that  oyer  shall  be, 
Uphold  the  flower  of  good  Jesse, 
And  worship  it  for  aye  beantee; 

For  best  of  all 
That  erer  was  or  erer  be  shall. 

BEAUTIFUL  LEGEND. 

One  day  Babbi  Judah  and  his  brethren,  the  seven  pillars  of 
Wisdom,  sat  in  the  Court  of  the  Temple,  on  feast-day,  disputing 
about  REST.  One  said  that  it  was  to  have  attained  sufficient 
wealth,  yet  without  sin.  The  second,  that  it  was  fame  and 
praise  of  all  men.  The  third^  that  it  was  the  possession  of 
power  to  rule  the  State.  The  fourth,  that  it  consisted  only  in 
a  happy  home.  The  fifth,  that  it  must  be  in  the  old  age  of  one 
who  is  rich,  powerful,  fiimous,  surrounded  by  children  and 
chOdren's  children.  The  sixth  said  that  all  that  were  vain, 
unless  a  man  keep  all  the  ritual  law  of  Moses.     And  Rabb' 


132  I.   H.   8. 

Judah^  the  venerable,  the  tallest  of  the  brothers^  said,  <'  Ye 
have  spoken  wisely ;  but  one  thing  more  is  necessaiy.  He  only 
can  find  rest,  who  to  all  things  addeth  this,  that  he  keepeth  the 
tradition  of  the  elders." 

There  sat  in  the  Court  a  fair-haired  boy,  playing  with  some 
lilies  in  his  lap,  and,  hearing  the  talk,  he  dropped  them  with  asto- 
nishment from  his  hands,  and  looked  up — that  boy  of  twelve — 
and  said,  "  Nay,  nay,  fathers :  ho  only  findcth  rest,  who  loveth 
his  brother  as  himself,  and  God  with  his  whole  heart  and  soul. 
He  is  greater  than  fame,  and  wealth,  and  power,  happier  than 
a  happy  home,  happy  without  it,  better  than  honored  age ;  he 
is  a  law  to  himself,  and  above  all  tradition."  The  doctors  were 
astonished.  They  said,  <<When  Christ  cometh,  shall  He  tell 
us  greater  things  ?"  And  they  thanked  God,  for  they  said, 
**  The  old  men  are  not  always  wise,  yet  God  be  praised,  that 
out  of  the  mouth  of  this  young  suckling  has  His  praise  be- 
come perfect." 

PERSIAN  APOLOGUE. 

In  Sir  William  Jones's  Persian  Grammar  may  be  found  the 
following  beautiful  story  from  Nisami.  Mr.  Alger  gives  a  me- 
trical translation  in  his  Poetry  of  the  East. 

One  evening  Jesus  arrived  at  the  gates  of  a  certain  city,  and 
sent  his  disciples  forward  to  prepare  supper,  while  he  himself, 
intent  on  doing  good,  walked  through  the  streets  into  the  mar- 
ket-place. 
.  And  he  saw  at  the  comer  of  the  market  some  people  gathered 
together,  looking  at  an  object  on  the  ground;  and  ho  drew  near 
to  see  what  it  might  be.  It  was  a  dead  dog,  with  a  halter  around 
his  neck,  by  which  he  appeared  to  have  been  dragged  through 
the  dirt ;  and  a  viler,  a  more  abject,  a  more  unclean  thing 
never  met  the  eyes  of  man. 

And  those  who  stood  by  looked  on  with  abhorrence. 

<<  Faugh  I"  said  one,  stopping  his  nose:  "  it  pollutes  the  air." 
<<  How  long,"  said  another,  <<  shall  this  foul  beast  offend  our 
sight  ?"     "  Look  at  his  torn  hide,"  said  a  third  :  '<  one  oould 


I.  H.  s.  133 

not  even  out  a  shoe  out  of  it/'  '^  And  his  ears,"  said  a  fourth, 
''  all  draggled  and  bleeding/'  "  No  doubt/'  said  a  fifth,  "  he 
has  been  hanged  for  thieving." 

And  Jesns  heard  them,  and  looking  down  compassionately 
on  the  dead  creature,  he  said,  "  Pearls  are  not  equal  to  the 
whiteness  of  his  teeth  V 

Then  the  people  turned  towards  him  with  amazement,  and 
said  among  themselves,  *'  Who  is  this  ?  It  must  be  Jesus  of 
Nazareth,  for  only  he  could  find  something  to  pity  and  approve 
even  in  a  dead  dog."  And  being  ashamed,  they  bowed  their 
heads  before  him  and  went  each  on  his  way. 

DESCEIPTION   OF  THE   PERSON  OF  JESUS   CHRIST. 

The  following  description  is  alleged  to  be  derived  from  an 
ancient  manuscript  sent  by  Publius  Lentulus,  President  of 
Judea,  to  the  Senate  of  Rome  : — 

«  There  lives  at  this  time  in  Judea,  a  man  of  singular  cha- 
racter, whose  name  is  Jesus  Christ.  The  barbarians  esteem  him 
as  their  prophet ;  but  his  followers  adore  him  as  the  immediate 
ofepring  of  the  immortal  Ood.  He  is  endowed  with  such  un- 
paralleled virtue  as  to  call  back  the  dead  from  their  graves  and 
to  heal  every  kind  of  disease  with  a  word  or  a  touch.  His 
person  is  tall  and  elegantly  shaped ;  his  aspect,  amiable  and 
reverend ;  his  hair  flows  in  those  beauteous  shades  which  no 
united  colors  can  match,  falling  in  graceful  curls  below  his 
ears,  agreeably  couching  on  his  shoulders,  and  parting  on  the 
crown  of  his  head ;  his  dress,  that  of  the  sect  of  Nazarites ;  his 
forehead  is  smooth  and  large;  his  cheeks  without  blemish, 
and  of  roseate  hue ;  his  nose  and  mouth  are  formed  with  ex- 
quisite symmetry ;  his  beard  is  thick  and  suitable  to  the  hair  of 
his  head,  reaching  a  little  below  his  chin,  and  parting  in  the 
middle  below ;  his  eyes  are  clear,  bright,  and  serene. 

*'  He  rebukes  with  mildness,  and  invokes  with  the  most  ten- 
der and  persuasive  language, — his  whole  address,  whether  in 
word  or  deed,  being  elegantly  grave,  and  strictly  characteristic 
of  so  exalted  a  being.     No  man  has  seen  him  laugh,  but  the 

12 


134  I.  H.  s. 

whole  world  beholds  him  weep  frequently,  and  so  persuasive 
are  his  tears  that  the  whole  multitude  cannot  withhold  their 
tears  from  joining  in  sympathy  with  him.  He  is  moderate, 
temperate,  and  wise  :  in  short,  whatever  the  phenomenon  may 
turn  out  in  the  end,  he  seems  at  present  to  be  a  man  of  excel- 
lent beauty  and  divine  perfection,  every  way  surpassing  man.'' 

DEATH-WARRANT   OF  JESUS   CHRIST. 

Of  the  many  interesting  relics  and  fragments  brought  to  light 
by  the  persevering  researches  of  antiquarians,  none  could  be 
more  interesting  to  the  philanthropist  and  believer  than  the  fol- 
lowing,— to  Christians,  the  most  imposing  judicial  document 
ever  recorded  in  human  annals.  It  has  been  thus  faithfully 
transcribed : — 

Sentence  rendered  by  Pontius  Pilate,  acting  Governor  of 
Lower  Galilee,  stating  that  Jesus  of  Nazareth  shall  suffer 
death  on  the  cross. 
In  the  year  seventeen  of  the  Emperor  Tiberius  Csesar,  and 
the  27th  day  of  March,  the  city  of  the  holy  Jerusalem — Annas 
and  Gaiaphas  being  priests,  sacrificators  of  the  people  of  Grod^ 
Pontius  Pilate,  Governor  of  Lower  Galilee,  sitting  in  the  presi- 
dential chair  of  the  prsetory,  condemns  Jesus  of  Nazareth  to 
die  on  the  cross  between  two  thieves,  the  great  and  notorious 
evidence  of  the  people  saying : 

1.  Jesus  is  a  seducer. 

2.  He  is  seditious. 

8.  He  is  the  enemy  of  the  law. 

4.  He  calls  himself  falsely  the  Son  of  God. 

5.  He  calls  himself  falsely  the  King  of  Israel. 

6.  He  entered  into  the  temple  followed  by  a  multitude  bear- 
ing palm  branches  in  their  hands. 

Orders  the  first  centurion,  Quilius  Cornelius,  to  lead  him  to 
the  place  of  execution. 

Forbids  any  person  whomsoever,  either  poor  or  rich,  to  op- 
pose the  death  of  Jesus  Christ. 
The  witnesses  who  signed  the  condemnation  of  Jesus  are — 

1.  Daniel  Robani,  a  Pharisee. 

2.  Joannus  Robani. 


I.  H.  8.  135 

3.  Bapbael  Kobani. 

4.  Capet,  a  citizen. 

Jesus  shall  go  out  of  the  city  of  Jerusalem  by  the  gate  of 
StrueDUS. 
The  foregoing  is  engraved  on  a  copper  plate,  on  the  reverse 
of  which  is  written,  "  A  similar  plate  is  sent  to  each  tribe/' 
It  was  found  in  an  antique  marble  vase,  while  excavating  in 
the  ancient  city  of  Aquilla,  in  the  kingdom  of  Naples,  in  the 
year  1810,  and  was  discovered  by  the  Commissioners  of  Arts 
of  the  French  army.  At  the  expedition  of  Naples,  it  was  en- 
closed in  a  box  of  ebony  and  preserved  in  the  sacristy  of  the 
Carthusians.  The  French  translation  was  made  by  the  Commis- 
sioners of  Arts.     The  original  is  in  the  Hebrew  language. 

DOUBLE   HEXAMETER. 
Si  Christam  { If^l  ]  nihU  est  .i  c«tera  {  f^^ 

ANTICIPATORY  USE  OF  THE  CROSS. 

Madame  Calderon  de  la  Barca,  in  her  Lt/e  in  Mexico  {pub. 
1843),  says  that  the  symbol  of  the  Cross  was  known  to  the 
Indians  before  the  arrival  of  Cortez.  In  the  island  of  Cozumel, 
near  Yucatan,  there  were  several;  and  in  Yucatan*  itself  there 
was  a  stone  cross.  And  there  an  Indian,  considered  a  prophet 
among  his  countrymen,  had  declared  that  a  nation  bearing  the 
same  as  a  symbol  should  arrive  from  a  distant  country.  More 
extraordinary  still  was  a  temple  dedicated  to  the  Holy  Cross  by 
the  Toltec  nation  in  the  city  of  Cholula.  Near  Tulansmgo  t^ere 
is  also  a  cross  engraved  on  a  rock  with  various  characters.  In 
Oajaca  there  was  a  cross  which  the  Indians  from  time  immemo- 
rial had  been  accustomed  to  consider  as  a  divine  symbol.  By 
order  of  Bishop  Cervantes  it  was  placed  in  a  chapel  in  the 
cathedral.  InformatiDn  concerning  its  discovery,  together  with 
a  small  cup,  cut  out  of  its  wood,  was  sent  to  Rome  to  Paul  V., 
who  received  it  on  his  knees,  singing  the  hymn  Vexilla  regis,  etc. 

See  also  Prescott's  Conquest  of  Mexico,  Vol.  I.  Bk.  II.  Chap.  4;  and 
Stephens'  Incident*  of  Travel  in    Yucatan,  Vol.  II.  Chap.  20. 


136  THE  lord's  PaATER. 


E^t  ILota'B  i^raser. 


The  LorcPa  Prayer  alone  i»  an  evidence  of  the  truth  of  Chrittianityf — »o  ad- 
wirably  i«  that  prayer  accommodated  to  all  our  toanto. — LoRD  WbLLUTQTON. 

THY   AND    US. 

The  two  divisions  of  the  Lord's  Prayer — ^the  former  relating 
to  the  gloiy  of  God,  the  latter  to  the  wants  of  man — appear  very 
evident  on  a  slight  transposition  of  the  personal  pronouns : — 

Thy  name  be  hallowed. 

Thy  kingdom  come. 

Thy  will  be  done,  Ac. 

Ua  give  this  day  our  daily  bread. 

Ut  forgive  our  debts,  Ac. 

Us  lead  not  into  temptation. 

(/»  deliver  from  evil. 

SPIRIT   OP  THE   lord's   PRAYER. 

The  spirit  of  the  Lord's  Prayer  is  beautiful.  This  form  of 
petition  breathes: — 

A  Jilial  spirit — Father. 
A  catholic  spirit— Our  Father. 
A  reverential  spirit — Hallowed  be  Thy  name. 
A  miationary  spirit — Thy  kingdom  come. 

An  obedient  spirit — Thy  will  be  done  on  earth  as  it  is  in  heaven. 
A  dependent  spirit — Give  us  this  day  our  daily  bread. 
A  forgiving  spirit — And  forgive  our  debts  as  we  forgive  our  debtors. 
A  eautiotu  spirit — And  lead  us  not  into  temptation,  but  deliver  us  from  evlL 
A  confidential  and  adoring  spirit — For  thine  is  the  kingdom,  and  the 
power,  and  the  glory,  forever.    Amen. 

GOTHIC  VERSION. 

XJlphilas,  who  lived  between  the  years  310  and  388,  was 
bishop  of  the  Western  Goths,  and  translated  the  greater  part  of 
the  Scriptures  into  the  Gothic  language.  The  following  is  his 
rendering  of  the  Lord's  Prayer : — 


THE  lord's  pbayeb  137 

Atta  nnsar  thn  in  himinam.  Weihnai  namo  thein.  Quimai  thindinassiii 
sijaima,  swaswe  jah  weia  afletam  thaim  skolam  unsaraim.  Jah  ni  briggaii 
HOB  in  fraistubigaL  Ak  lausei  nns  af  thamma  ubilin,  unte  theina  ist  thiu- 
dangardi,  jah  maths,  jah  wulthua  in  aiwins.    Amen. 

METRICAL  VERSIONS. 

Father  in  heayen,  hallowed  b«  thy  name; 
Thy  kingdom  oome:  thy  will  be  done  the  same 
In  earth  and  hearen.     Gire  ns  daily  bread; 
Forgive  our  sins  as  others  we  forgiye. 
Into  temptation  let  as  not  be  led ; 
Deliyer  us  from  eyil  while  we  liye. 
For  kingdom,  power,  and  glory  must  remain 
For  ever  and  for  ever  thine :    Amen. 

Here  the  sixty-six  words  of  the  original,  according  to  the 
anthorized  translation  of  St.  Matthew's  version,  are  reduced  to 
fifty-nine,  though  the  latter  is  fully  implied  in  all  points  except 
two.  "This  day*'  is  omitted;  but,  if  anything,  the  Greek  is 
slightly  approached,  for  kTztouffiov  refers  rather  to  t<Mnorroto 
than  to  to-day.  The  antithesis  in  ^^BtU  deliver  us"  does  not 
appear:  if  the  word  deliver  be  sacrificed,  we  may  read,  "But 
keep  us  safe." 

The  subjoined  metrical  version  of  the  Prayer  is  at  least  two 
and  a  half  centuries  old,  and  was  written  for  adaptation  to 
music  in  public  worship : — 

Our  Father  which  in  heayen  art, 
All  hallowed  be  thy  name ; 

Thy  kingdom  oome. 

On  earth  thy  will  be  done. 
Even  as  the  same  in  heayen  is. 
Giyeus,  0  Lord,  our  daily  bread  this  day: 

As  we  forgive  our  debtors. 

So  forgiye  our  debts,  we  pray. 
Into  temptation  lead  us  not. 

From  eyil  make  us  free : 
The  kingdom,  power,  and  glory  thine, 

Both  now  and  eyer  be. 

The  Prayer  is  commended  for  its  authorship,  its  efficacy,  its 
perfection,  the  order  of  its  parts,  its  brevity,  and  its  necessity, 

12* 


138  THE  lord's  prayeb. 

The  following  paraphrase,  which  has  been  set  to  music  as  a 
duett,  is  of  more  recent  origin  : — 

Our  Heavenly  Father,  hear  our  prayer : 

Thy  name  be  hallowed  everywhere; 

Thy  kingdom  oome;  on  earth,  thy  will. 

E'en  as  in  heaven,  let  all  fulfill  ; 

Give  this  day's  bread,  that  we  may  live; 

Forgive  our  sins  as  we  forgive ; 

Help  us  temptation  to  withstand ; 

From  evil  shield  us  by  Thy  hand; 

Now  and  forever,  unto  Thee, 

The  kingdom,  power,  and  glory  be.    Amen. 

THE  PRAYEB  ILLUSTRATED. 

Our  JVKA«r.— Isaiah  Ixiu.  16. 

1.  By  light  of  oreaUon.  Halaohi  iL  10. 

2.  By  bountiful  provision.  Psalm  cxlv.  10. 
8.  By  gracious  adoption.  Ephesians  L  6. 

Whe  art  in  Heaven,—'!  Kings  viiL  43. 

1.  The  throne  of  thy  glory.  Isaiah  IxvL  1. 

2.  The  portion  of  thy  ohildren  1  Peter  i.  4. 

3.  The  temple  of  thy  angels.  Isaiah  vL  1. 

Halloaed  be  thy  Name. — Psalm  oxv.  1. 

1.  By  the  thoughts  of  our  hearts.        Psalm  IxxxvL  IL 

2.  By  the  words  of  our  lips.  Psalm  IL  15. 

3.  By  the  works  of  our  hands.  1  Corinthians  z.  81. 

Thy  Kingdom  come. — Psalm  ex.  2. 

1.  Of  Providence  to  defend  us.  Psalm  xviL  8. 

2.  Of  grace  to  refine  us.  1  Thessalonians  y.  28. 
8.  Of  glory  to  crown  us.                      Colossians  iiL  4. 

Thy  %oiU  he  done  on  Earth  as  it  it  in  Heaven. — ^Aots  xxxL  14. 

1.  Towards  us,  without  resistance.       1  Samuel  iiL  18. 

2.  By  us,  without  compulsion.  Psalm  oxix.  38. 

3.  Universally,  without  exception.       Luke  L  8. 

4.  Eternally,  without  declension.         Psalm  cxix.  93. 

Oive  U9  thie  day  our  daily  bread. 

1.  Of  neoeifity,  for  our  bodies.  Proverbs  xxx.  8. 

2.  Of  eternal  life,  for  our  souls.  John  vL  34. 
And  forgive  us  our  treapanee. — Psalm  xxv.  11. 

1.  Against  the  commands  of  thy  law.  1  John  iiL  4. 

2.  Against  the  grace  of  thy  gospeL     1  Timothy  L  IS. 


THE  lobd's  prayeb.  139 

A»  iw  forgive  them  that  tretpam  agtmut  «m. — Matthew  yL  16. 

1.  By  defaming  oar  eharacten.  Matthew  t.  IL 

2.  By  embezzling  our  property.  Philemon  18. 

3.  By  abusing  our  persons.  Acts  yiL  60. 

At»d  lead  v»  not  into  temptation,  but  deliver  u§  from  evil, — Matthew  zztL  41. 

1.  Of  orerwhelming  afflietions.  Psalm  exxz.  1. 

2.  Of  worldly  enticements.  1  John  iL  16. 

5.  Of  Satan's  devices.  1  Timothy  UL  7. 

4.  Of  error's  sednetion.  1  Timothy  tL  10. 

6.  Of  sinAil  affeetions.  Romans  L  S6. 

For  C&MM  w  the  kingdom,  and  the  power,  and  the  glory,  forever. — Jude  26, 

1.  Thy  kingdom  goyems  alL  Psalm  oiii.  19. 

2.  Thy  power  sabdnes  alL  Philippians  iiL  20,  2L 
8.  Thy  glory  is  above  afl.  Psalm  oxlviiL  18. 

Amen, — Bphesians  L  11. 

1.  As  it  is  in  thy  purposes.  Isaiah  xiv.  27. 

2.  So  is  it  in  thy  promises.  2  Corinthians  L  20. 
8.  So  be  it  in  our  prayers.  Kevelation  xxiL  20. 
i.  So  shall  it  be  to  thy  praise.  Bevelation  xix.  4. 

ACBOSTICAL  PARAPHBASS. 

Om  Lord  and  King,  Who  reign'st  enthroned  on  high, 

Fathkb  of  Light  1  mysterious  Deity! 

Who  art  the  gnat  I  AM,  the  last,  the  first. 

Art  righteous,  holy,  merciful,  and  just. 

Ih  realms  of  glory,  scenes  where  angels  sing, 

Hbaykk  is  the  dwelling-place  of  God  our  King. 

Hallowbd  Thy  name,  which  doth  all  names  transoendf 

Bb  Thou  adored,  our  great  Almighty  Friend ; 

Tht  glory  shines  beyond  creation's  bound ; 

Naxb  us  'mong  those  Thy  choicest  gifts  surround. 

Tht  kingdom  towers  beyond  Thy  starry  skies ; 

EiKGDOM  Satanic  falls,  but  Thine  shall  rise. 

GouB  let  Thine  empire,  0  Thou  Holy  One, 

Tbt  great  and  everlasting  will  be  done. 

Will  God  make  known  his  will,  his  power  display? 

Bb  it  the  work  of  mortals  to  obey. 

BoBB  is  the  great,  the  wondrous  work  of  lore; 

Oh  Calvary's  cross  he  died,  but  reigns  above ; 

Earth  bears  the  record  in  Thy  holy  word. 

As  heaven  adores  Thy  love,  let  earth,  0  Lord ; 

It  shines  transcendent  in  the  eternal  skies. 

Is  praised  in  heaven — ^for  man,  the  Saviour  dies. 


140  THE  lord's  prater. 

In  tongs  immortal,  angels  land  his  name; 

IIbaten  shouts  with  joy,  and  saints  his  loye  proolaim 

OiTB  us,  0  Lord,  our  food,  nor  oease  to  give 

Us  needful  food  on  which  our  souls  may  live ! 

This  ho  our  boon  to-day  and  days  to  come, 

Day  without  end  in  our  eternal  home. 

Our  needy  souls  supply  from  day  to  day; 

Dailt  assist  and  aid  us  when  we  pray ; 

Brrad  though  we  ask,  yet,  Lord,  Thy  blessings  lend. 

Ard  make  us  grateftil  when  Thy  gifts  descend. 

FoROiVR  our  sins,  which  in  destruction  place 

Us,  the  vile  rebels  of  a  rebel  race ; 

Our  follies,  faults,  and  trespasses  forgive, 

Drbts  which  we  ne'er  can  pay,  nor  Thon'reoeive. 

As  wo,  0  Lord,  our  neighbor's  faults  o'erlook, 

Wr  beg  Thou  'd'st  blot  ours  from  Thy  memory's  book. 

FoROiVR  our  enemies,  extend  Thy  grace 

Odr  souls  to  save,  e'en  Adam's  guilty  race. 

Drbtors  to  Thee  in  gratitude  and  love, 

Ard  in  that  duty  paid  by  saints  above, 

Lb  AD  us  from  sin,  and  in  thy  mercy  raise 

Us  from  the  tempter  and  bis  hellish  ways. 

Not  in  our  own,  but  in  His  name  who  bled, 

Ikto  Thine  ear  we  pour  our  every  need. 

Tbrptation's  fatal  charm  help  ns  to  shun. 

But  may  we  conquer  through  Thy  conquering  Son ; 

Drliybr  us  from  all  that  can  annoy 

Us  in  this  world,  and  may  our  souls  destroy. 

From  all  calamities  that  man  betide. 

Evil  and  death,  0  turn  our  feet  aside, — 

For  we  are  mortal  worms,  and  cleave  to  clay^^- 

Thirb  'tis  to  rule,  and  mortals  to  obey. 

Is  not  thy  mercy,  Lord,  forever  free? 

Tbr  whole  creation  knows  no  Ood  bnfc  Thee. 

Edigdom  and  empire  in  Thy  presence  fall ; 

Thr  King  eternal  reigns  the  King  of  alL 

PowRR  is  Thine — to  Thee  be  glory  given. 

And  be  thy  name  adored  by  earth  and  heaven. 

Tbr  praise  of  saints  and  angels  is  Thy  own ; 

Glory  to  Thee,  the  Everlasting  One. 

FoRRYRR  be  Thy  holy  name  adored. 

AMEN !  Hosannah !  blessed  be  the  Lord 

TRIFLING  or  BIBLR   COUUBNTATORB. 

Dr.  Gill,  in  his  Expository,  seriously  tells  us  that  the  word  ABBA  i 
backwards  or  forwards  being  the  same,  may  teach  ns  that  God  is  the  father 
of  his  people  in  adversity  as  well  bb  in  prosperity. 


THK  lord's  PRATBA.  141 

THE  PRATER  ECHOED. 

If  any  be  distressed,  and  fain  would  gather 
Some  comfort,  let  him  haste  unto 

Our  Father. 
For  we  of  hope  and  help  are  quite  berearen 
Except  Thou  succor  us 

Who  art  in  hearen. 
Thou  showest  mercy,  therefore  for  the  same 
We  praise  Thee,  singing, 

Hallowed  be  Thy  name. 
Of  all  our  miseries  oast  up  the  sum ; 
Show  us  thy  joys,  and  let 

Thy  kingdom  come. 
We  mortal  an^  and  alter  from  our  birth ; 
Thou  constant  art ; 

Thy  will  be  done  on  earth. 
Thou  madest  the  earth,  as  well  as  planets  wren, 
Thy  name  be  blessed  here 

As  'tis  in  heayen.  ^ 

Nothing  we  have  to  use,  or  debts  to  pay. 
Except  Thou  give  it  us. 

Give  us  this  day 
Wherewith  to  clothe  us,  wherewith  to  be  fed. 
For  without  Thee  we  want 

Our  daily  bread. 
Wo  want,  but  want  no  faults,  for  no  day  passes 
But  we  do  sin . 

Forgive  us  our  trespasses. 
No  man  from  sinning  ever  free  did  live 
Forgive  us.  Lord,  our  sins. 

As  wo  forgive. 
If  we  repent  our  faults.  Thou  ne'er  disdain'st  ui ; 
We  pardon  them 

That  trespass  against  us ; 
Forgive  us  that  is  past,  a  new  path  tread  ui ; 
Direct  us  always  in  Thy  faith, 

And  lead  us — 
Us,  Thine  own  people  and  Thy  chosen  nation. 
Into  all  truth,  but 

Not  into  temptation. 
Thou  that  of  all  good  graces  art  the  Giver, 
Buffer  us  not  to  wander. 

But  deliver 
Us  from  the  fierce  assaults  of  world  and  devil 
And  flesh ;  so  shalt  Thou  free  us 

From  all  evil. 
To  these  petitions  let  both  church  and  laymen 
With  one  consent  of  heart  and  voice,  say, 

A  men. 


142  THE  lord's  prater. 


THE  PRATER   IN  AN   ACROSTIC. 

In  the  following  curious  compoBition  the  initial  capitals  spell, 
"  My  boast  is  in  the  glorious  Cross  of  Christ"  The  words  in 
italics,  when  read  from  top  to  bottom  and  bottom  fo  top,  form 
the  Lord's  Prayer  complete : — 

Make  known  the  Gospel  truths.  Our  Father  King; 

Tield  up  thy  grace,  dear  Father  from  aboye; 
Bless  ui  with  hearts  which  feelingly  can  sing, 

"  Our  life  thou  art  for  ever,  Qod  of  Love  \" 
Assuage  our  grief  in  lore  for  Christ,  we  pray, 

Since  the  bright  prince  of  Heaven  and  glory  died^ 
Took  all  our  sins  and  halloioed  the  display, 

Infinite  6e-ing — first  man,  and  then  the  crucified. 
Stupendous  God !  thy  grace  and  power  make  known ; 

In  Jesus'  name  let  all  the  world  rejoice. 
Now  all  the  world  thy  heavenly  kingdom  own. 

The  blessed  kingdom  for  thy  saints  the  choice. 
How  rile  to  eome  to  thee  i»  all  our  cry, 

Enemies  to  (Ay  self  and  all  that's  thine, 
Graceless  our  unll,  we  live  /or  vanity, 

Lending  to  sin  our  6e-ing,  evil  in  our  design. 
0  God,  thy  will  be  done  from  earth  to  Heaven; 

Reclining  on  the  Gospel  let  u«  live. 
In  earth  from  sin  deliver-ed  and  forgiven. 

Oh !  a$  thyself  but  teach  us  to  forgive. 
Unless  t<'8  power  temptation  doth  destroy, 

Sure  t«  our  fall  t'nto  the  depths  of  woe. 
Carnal  in  mind,  we've  not  a  glimpse  of  joy 

Raised  against  Heaven;  in  u«  no  hope  can  flow. 
0  give  us  grace  and  lead  us  on  thy  way ; 

Shine  on  ue  with  thy  love  and  give  ue  peace; 
Self  and  thie  sin  that  rise  againat  us  slay ; 

Oh !  grant  each  day  our  treepaes-tB  may  cease. 
Forgive  our  evil  deeds  that  oft  we  do ; 

Convince  us  daily  of  them  to  our  shame ; 
Help  us  with  heavenly  bread,  forgive  us,  too, 

Recurrent  lusts,  and  tre'U  adore  thy  name. 
In  thy/oyytv«-ness  we  a«  saints  can  die, 

Since  for  v$  and  our  tretpcuaea  so  high. 
Thy  son,  our  Saviour,  bled  on  Calvaxy. 


XCGLESIASTICiB.  143 

EXCESSIVE  CIVILITT. 

Tom  Brown,  in  his  Laconics^  says  that  in  the  reign  of 
Charles  II.  a  certain  worthy  divine  at  Whitehall  thus  ad- 
dressed himself  to  the  auditory  at  the  conclusion  of  his  sermon : 
''  In  short,  if  you  don't  live  up  to  the  precepts  of  the  gospel, 
but  abandon  yourselves  to  your  irregular  appetites,  you  must 
expect  to  receive  your  reward  in  a  certain  place,  which  'tis 
not  good  manners  to  mention  here/'  This  suggested  to  Pope 
the  couplet, 

"  To  rest,  tbe  cushion  and  soft  dean  inTite, 
Who  nerer  mentions  hell  to  ears  polite." 


SHORT  SERMONS. 

Dean  Swiit,  having  been  solicited  to  preach  a  charity  ser- 
mon, mounted  the  pulpit,  and  after  announcing  his  text,  '^  He 
that  giveth  to  the  poor  lendeth  to  the  Lord/'  simply  said, 
"Now,  my  brethren,  if  you  are  satisfied  with  the  Becurity, 
down  with  the  dust."  He  then  took  his  seat,  and  there  was  an 
unusually  large  collection. 

The  following  abridgment  contains  the  pith  and  marrow, 
sum  and  substance,  of  a  sermon  which  occupied  an  hour  in 
delivery : — 

"  Man  is  born  to  trouble.* 
This  snbjecty  mj  heaierf,  is  naturally  dirisible  into  four  beads  ^^ 

1.  Man's  entrance  into  the  world; 

2.  His  progress  through  the  world ; 
8.  His  exit  from  the  world;  and 

4.  Practical  reflections  from  what  may  be  said. 
Fint»  then:^ 

1.  Man's  ingress  in  life  is  naked  and  bare, 

2.  His  progress  throagh  life  is  trouble  and  caie^ 

3.  His  egress  iVom  it,  none  can  tell  whore. 

i.  But  doing  well  here,  be  will  be  well  there. 
Now,  on  this  subject,  my  brethren  dear, 
I  could  not  tell  more  by  preaching  a  year. 


144  EGGLE8IA8T10A. 


A  SERMON  ON   MALT. 


The  Rev.  Dr.  Dodd  lived  within  a  few  miles  of  GambridgCy 
(England,)  and  had  offended  several  students  by  preaching  a 
sermon  on  temperance.  One  day  some  of  them  met  him. 
They  said  one  to  another, — 

'^  Here's  Father  Dodd :  he  shall  preach  as  a  sermon.^'  Ac- 
costing him  with, — 

"  Your  servants/' 

"  Sirs  I  yours,  gentlemen  !"  replied  the  Doctor. 

They  said,  '^We  have  a  favor  to  ask  of  you,  which  fMut  be 
granted."     The  divine  asked  what  it  was. 

"  To  preach  a  sermon,"  was  the  reply. 

<<Well,"  said  he,  <' appoint  the  time  and  place,  and  I  will.'' 

<<  The  time,  the  present;  the  place,  that  hollow  tree/'  (point- 
ing to  it,)  said  the  students. 

<<'Tis  an  imposition!"  said  the  Doctor:  <Hhere  ought  to 
be  consideration  before  preaching." 

"  If  you  refuse,"  responded  they,  "  we  will  put  you  into  the 
tree  !"  Whereupon  the  Doctor  acquiesced,  and  asked  them  for 
a  text. 

''  Malt !"  said  they. 

The  reverend  gentleman  commenced  :— 

"  Let  me  crave  your  attention,  my  beloved  t 

"  I  am  a  little  man,  come  at  a  short  warning,  to  preach  a 
short  sermon,  upon  a  short  subject,  to  a  thin  congr^tion,  in 
an  unworthy  pulpit.  Beloved  I  my  text  is  '  Malt.'  I  can- 
not divide  it  into  syllables,  it  being  but  a  monosyllable :  there- 
fore I  must  divide  it  into  letters,  which  I  find  in  my  text  to  be 
four : — M-a-l-t.  M,  my  beloved,  is  moral — ^A,  b  aUegorical 
— L,  is  literal — T,  is  theological, 

'^  Ist.  The  moral  teaches  such  as  you  drunkards  good  man-* 
ners ;  therefore  M,  ray  masters — A,  all  of  you — L,  leave  off— 
T,  tippling. 

<'  2d.  The  allegorical  is,  when  one  thing  is  spoken  and  an- 
other meant ;  the  thing  here  spoken  is  Malt,  the  thing  meant 


EOCLESIASTIOiE.  145 

tbe  oil  of  malty  which  j/au  rastics  make  M,  joar  masters — A, 
your  apparel — L,  your  liberty — T,  your  trusts. 

'<  3d.  The  theolc^oal  is  according  to  the  effects  it  works, 
which  are  of  two  kinds — the  first  in  this  world,  the  second  in  the 
world  to  come.  The  effects  it  works  in  this  world  are,  in  aome, 
M,  murder — ^in  others,  A,  adultery — in  ally  L,  looseness  of  life 
— and  particularly  in  aomey  T,  treason.  In  the  world  to  come, 
the  effects  of  it  are,  M,  misery—A,  anguish — L,  lamentation 
— ^T,  torment — and  thus  much  for  my  text,  '  Malt/ 

*^  Infer  Ist :  As  words  of  exhortation :  M,  my  masters — A, 
all  of  you — L,  leave  off — T,  tippling. 

**  2d.  A  word  for  conviction  :  M,  my  masters — A,  all  of  you 
— L,  look  for — ^T,  torment. 

**  3d.  A  word  for  caution,  take  this :  A  drunkard  is  the  an- 
noyance of  modesty — ^the  spoiler  of  civility — the  destroyer  of 
reason — the  brewer's  agent — the  alewife's  benefactor — his 
wife's  sorrow — his  children's  trouble — his* neighbor's  scoff — a 
walking  swill-tub — a  picture  of  a  beast — a  monster  of  a  man." 

The  youngsters  found  the  truth  so  unpalatable,  that  they 
soon  deserted  their  preacher,  glad  to  get  beyond  the  reach  of 
his  voice. 

ELOQUENCE  OF  BA800M. 

The  following  passages  will  serve  to  illustrate  the  peculiar 
oratorical  style  of  Rev.  Henry  B.  Bascom,  the  distinguished 
Kentucky  preacher : — 

'<  Chemistry,  with  its  fire-tongs  of  the  galvanic  battery, 
teaches  that  the  starry  diamond  in  the  crown  of  kings,  and  the 
black  carbon  which  the  peasant  treads  beneath  his  feet,  are 
both  composed  of  the  same  identical  elements;  analysis  also 
proves  that  a  chief  ingredient  in  limestone  is  carbon.  Then 
let  the  burning  breath  of  God  pass  over  all  the  limestone  of 
the  earth,  and  bid  its  old  mossy  layers  crystalize  into  new 
beauty;  and  lo!  at  the  Almighty  Jiat  the  mountain  ranges  flash 
into  living  gems  with  a  lustre  that  renders  midnight  noon,  and 
eclipses  all  the  stars !" 

K  13 


146  BC0LESIA8TICJB. 

Ho  urged  the  same  view  by  another  example^  still  better 
adapted  to  popular  apprehension  : — 

''Look  yonder/'  said  the  impassioned  orator,  pointing  a 
motionless  finger  towards  the  lofty  ceiling,  as  if  it  were  the 
sky.  ''  See  that  wrathful  thunder-cloud — the  fiery  bed  of  the 
lightnings  and  hissing  hail — ^the  cradle  of  tempests  and  floods  I 
— What  can  be  more  dark,  more  dreary,  more  dreadful  ?  Say, 
scoffing  skeptic,  is  it  capable  of  any  beauty  ?  You  pronounce, 
'  no.'  Well,  very  well ;  but  behold,  while  the  sneering  denial 
curb  your  proud  lips,  the  sun  with  its  sword  of  light  shears 
through  the  sea  of  vapors  in  the  west,  and  laughs  in  your  in- 
credulous face  with  his  fine  golden  eye.  Now,  look  again  at 
the  thunder-cloud  I  See !  where  it  was  blackest  and  fullest  of 
gloom,  the  sunbeams  have  kissed  its  hideous  cheek }  and  where 
the  kiss  fell  there  is  now  a  blush,  brighter  than  ever  mantled 
on  the  brow  of  mortal  maiden — the  rich  blush  of  crimson  and 
gold,  of  purple  add  vermilion — a  pictured  blush,  fit  for  the 
gase  of  angels — the  flower-work  of  pencils  of  fire  and  light, 
wrought  at  a  dash  by  one  stroke  of  the  right  hand  of  Otod  I 
Ay,  the  ugly  cloud  hath  given  birth  to  the  rainbow,  that  per* 
feetion  and  symbol  of  unspeakable  beauty  I" 

THB  LORD  BISHOP. 

The  following  incident  is  said  to  have  occurred  in  the  parish 
church  of  Bradford,  England,  during  a  special  service,  on  the 
occasion  of  a  visit  from  the  bishop  of  the  diocese :— - 

The  clerk,  before  the  sermon,  gave  out  the  psalm  in  broad 
Wiltshire  dialect,  namely  : — ''  Let  us  zing  to  the  praayze  an' 
glawry  o'  God,  three  varsses  o*  the  hundred  and  vourteen  laam 
—a  varsion  'specially  'dapted  to  the  'caasion, — ^by  meself :" — 

Why  hop  je  lo,  je  little  hilla, 

An'  what  rar  de'e  skip? 
Is  it  'oas  yon'm  prond  to  see 

His  grace  the  Lard  Bishtjpf 

Why  skip  ye  zo,  yo  little  hills, 
An*  what  var  de'e  hop  ? 


ECCLESIASTICS.  147 

Is  it  'eu  to  proaoh  to  we 

Is  oom'd  the  Lard  Bishcp/ 
Bese; — he  is  oom'd  to  preach  to  we : 

Thte  let  OS  anl  strick  np. 
An'  ting  a  glawriona  long  of  praayse, 

An'  blew  the  Lard  Bishiij»  / 

THE  PREACHERS  OV  CROMWELL'S  TIME. 

Dr.  Echard  says  of  the  preachers  who  lived  in  the  time  of 
Cromwell, — ^'  Coiners  of  new  phrases,  drawers-out  of  long  godly 
words,  thick  pourers-out  of  texts  of  Scripture,  mimical  squeak- 
ers and  bellowers,  .yain-glorious  admirers  only  of  themselves, 
and  those  of  their  own  fashioned  face  and  gesture ;  such  as 
these  shall  be  followed,  shall  have  their  busheb  of  China 
oranges,  shall  be  solaced  with  all  manner  of  cordial  essences, 
and  shall  be  rubbed  down  with  Holland  of  ten  shillings  an  ell/' 

One  of  the  singular  fashions  that  prevailed  among  the 
preachers  of  those  days  was  that  of  coughing  or  hemming  in 
the  middle  of  a  sentence,  as  an  ornament  of  speech ;  and  when 
their  sermons  were  printed,  the  place  where  the  preacher 
coughed  or  hemmed  was  always  noted  in  the  margin.  This 
practice  was  not  confined  to  England,  for  Olivier  Maillard,  a 
Cordelier,  and  famous  preacher,  printed  a  sermon  at  Brussels 
in  the  year  1500,  and  marked  in  the  margin  where  the  preacher 
hemmed  once  or  twice,  or  coughed. 

ORIGIN  OE  TEXTS. 

The  custom  of  taking  a  text  as  the  basis  of  a  sermon  origin- 
ated with  Ezra,  who,  we  are  told,  accompanied  by  several 
Levites  in  a  public  congregation  of  men  and  women,  ascended 
a  pulpit,  opened  the  book  of  the  law,  and  after  addressing  a 
prayer  to  the  Deity,  to  which  the  people  said  Amen,  <'  read  in 
the  book  in  the  law  of  God  distinctly,  and  gave  the  sense,  and 
caused  them  to  understand  the  reading."    (Nehemiah  viii.  8.) 

Previous  to  the  time  of  Ezra,  the  Patriarchs  delivered,  in 
public  assemblies,  either  prophecies  or  moral  instructions  foi 
the  edification  of  the  people ;  and  it  was  not  until  the  return 


148  ECGLESTASTICJB. 

of  the  Jews  from  the  Babylonish  captivity,  during  which  time 
they  had  almost  lost  the  language  in  which  the  Pentateuch  was 
written,  that  it  became  necessary  to  explain,  as  well  as  to  read, 
the  Scriptures  to  them.  In  later  times,  the  book  of  Moses  was 
thus  read  in  the  synagogues  every  Sabbath  day.  (Acts  xv.  21.) 
To  this  custom  our  Saviour  conformed :  in  the  synagogue  at  Na- 
zareth he  read  a  passage  from  the  prophet  Isaiah,  then  closing 
the  book,  returned  it  to  the  priest,  and  preached  from  the  text 

CLERICAL   BLUNDERS. 

In  an  old  book  of  Sermons  by  a  divine  named  Milsom,  we 
are  told  that  it  is  one  among  many  proofs  of  the  wisdom  and 
benevolence  of  Providence  that  the  world  was  not  created  in 
the  midst  of  winter,  when  Adam  and  Eve  could  have  found 
nothing  to  eat,  but  in  harvest-time,  when  there  was  fruit  on 
every  tree  and  shrub  to  tempt  the  willing  hand. 

Another  commentator  praises  Divine  Goodness  for  always 
making  the  largest  rivers  flow  close  by  the  most  populous  towns. 

St.  Austin  undertook  to  prove  that  the  ten  plagues  of  Egypt 
were  punishments  adapted  to  the  breach  of  the  ten  command- 
ments,— forgetting  that  the  law  was  given  to  the  Jews,  and  that 
the  plagues  were  inflicted  on  the  Egyptians,  and  also  that  the 
law  was  not  given  in  the  form  of  commandments  until  nearly 
three  months  after  the  plagues  had  been  sent. 

PROVING  AN   ALIBI. 

A  clergyman  at  Cambridge  preached  a  sermon  which  one  of 
his  auditors  commended.  '^  Yes,''  said  a  gentleman  to  whom  it 
was  mentioned,  "it  was  a  good  sermon,  but  he  stole  it."  This 
was  told  to  the  preacher.  He  resented  it,  and  called  on  the 
gentleman  to  retract  what  he  had  said.  "I  am  not,"  replied  the 
aggressor,  "very  apt  to  retract  my  words,  but  in  this  instance  I 
will.  I  said,  you  had  stolen  the  sermon;  I  find  I  was  wrong; 
for  on  returning  home,  and  referring  to  the  book  whence  I 
thought  it  was  taken,  I  found  it  there." 


XCCLESIASTICJB.  149 

WH1TEFIELD  AND  THE  BAILORS. 

Mr.  Whitefield,  whose  gestures  and  play  of  features  were  so 
j^U  of  dramatic  power,  once  preached  before  the  seamen  at  New 
York,  and,  in  the  course  of  his  sermon,  introduced  the  following 
bold  apostrophe: — 

"  Well,  my  boys,  we  have  a  clear  sky,  and  are  making  fine 
headway  over  a  smooth  sea  before  a  light  breeze,  and  we  shall 
soon  lose  sight  of  land.  But  what  means  this  sudden  lowering 
of  the  heayens,  and  that  dark  cloud  arising  from  the  western 
horizon?  Hark!  Don't  you  hear  the  distant  thunder?  Don't 
you  see  those  flashes  of  lightning?  There  is  a  storm  gathering! 
Eyery  man  to  hb  duty.  How  the  waves  rise  and  dash  against 
the  ship  I  The  air  is  dark !  The  tempest  rages !  Our  masts 
are  gone.  The  ship  is  on  her  beam  ends  !  What  next?"  The 
unsuspecting  tars,  reminded  of  former  perib  on  the  deep,  as  if 
struck  by  the  power  of  magic,  arose  and  exclaimed,  ^^  Take  to 
the  long  boat." 

PROTESTANT  EXCOMMUNICATION. 

John  Knox,  in  his  Liturgy  for  Scotch  Presbyterians,  sets 
forth  the  following  form  for  the  exercise  of  such  an  attribute 
of  ecclesiastical  authority  in  Protestant  communities  as  excom- 
munication : — 

"  0  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  thy  expressed  word  is  our  assurance, 

and  therefore,  in  boldness  of  the  same,  here  in  thy  name,  and 

at  the  commandment  of  this  thy  present  congregation,  we  cut 

off,  seclude,  and  excommunicate  from  thy  body,  and  from  our 

society,  N.  as  a  pround  contemner,  and  slanderous  person,  and 

a  member  for  the  present  altogether  corrupted,  and  pernicious 

to  the  body.    And  this  his  sin  (albeit  with  sorrow  of  our  hearts) 

by  virtue  of  our  ministry,  we  bind  and  pronounce  the  same  to 

be  bound  in  heaven  and  earth.    We  further  give  over,  into  the 

hands  and  power  of  the  devil,  the  said  N.  to  the  destruction  of 

his  flesh ;  straitly  charging  all  that  profess  the  Lord  Jesus,  to 

whose  knowledge  this  our  sentence  shall  come,  to  repute  and 

1.3* 


150  PURITAN   PECULIARITIES. 

hold  the  said  N.  accursed  and  unworthy  of  the  familiar  society 
of  Christians;  declaring  unto  all  men  that  such  as  hereafter 
(before  his  repentance)  shall  haunt,  or  fiuniliarly  accompany 
him,  are  partakers  of  his  impiety,  and  subject  to  the  like  con- 
demnation. 

"  This  our  sentence,  0  Lord  Jesus,  pronounced  in  thy  name, 
and  at  thy  commandment,  we  humbly  beseech  thee  to  ratify 
even  according  to  thy  promise." 


puritan  ^ttnllwcltkfi. 

BAPTISMAL   NAMES. 

A  Puritan  maiden,  who  was  asked  for  her  baptismal  name, 
replied,  "  *  Through-much-tribulation-we-enter-the-kingdom-of- 
Heaven,'  but  for  short  they  call  me  *Tribby.'" 

The  following  names  will  be  found  in  Lower's  English  Sir- 
names,  and  in  the  Lansdovme  Collection.  Most  of  them  are 
taken  from  a  jury-list  of  Sussex  County,  1658.  The  favorite 
fenude  baptismal  names  among  the  Puritans  were  Mercy,  Faith, 
Fortune,  Honor,  Virtue ;  but  there  were  among  them  those  who 
preferred  such  high-flown  names  as  Alethe,  Pjothesa,  Euphro- 
syne,  Kezia,  Eeturah,  Malvina,  Melinda,  Sabrina,  Alpina, 
Oriana. 

The-gift-of-God  Stringer,  The-work-of-6od  Farmer, 

Repentant  Hazel,  More-tryal  Goodwin, 

Zealous  King,  Faithftd  Long, 

Be-thankful  Playnard,  Joy-from-above  Brown, 

Live-in-peace  Hillary,  Be-of-good-comfort  Small, 

Obediencia  Cruttenden,  Godward  Freeman, 

Goodgift  Noake,  Thunder  Goldsmith. 


PURITAN   PECULIARITIES.  151 

Faint-not  Hewett,  Accepted  Trevor, 

Redeemed  ComptoDi  Make-peace  Heaton, 

God-reward  Smart,  Stand-faat-on-high  Stringer, 

Earth  Adams,  Called  Lower, 

Meek  Brewer,  Be-courteoos  Cole, 

Repentance  Avis,  Searoh-the-soriptores  Moreton. 

Kill-sin  Pimple,  Return  Spelman, 

Be-faithfal  Joiner,  Fly-debate  Roberta, 

More-frait  Flower,  Hope-for  Bending, 

Grace-ful  Harding,  Weep-not  Billing, 

Seek-wisdom  Wood,  Elected  Mitchell, 
Fight-the-good-fightrof-faith  White,  The-peaoe-of-God  Knight 

SIMILES. 

Prayer  U  Faith's  pomp,  when 't  works  till  the  water  eome; 
If' t  comes  not  free  at  first,  Faith  puts  in  some. 
Prayer  is  the  saored  bellows ;  when  these  blow. 
How  doth  chat  liTe-eoal  firom  Qod's  altar  glow ! 

Faia^ful  T«at^9  T$r,  IVia,,  1058. 

Walking  in  the  streets,  I  met  a  cart  that  came  near  the  wall; 
so  I  stepped  aside,  to  avoid  it,  into  a  place  where  I  was  secure 
enough.  Reflection :  Lord,  sin  is  that  great  evil  of  which  thou 
complainest  that  thou  art  pressed  as  a  cart  is  pressed :  how 
can  it  then  but  braise  me  to  powder? — Caleb  Trenchfidd^t 
Chris,  Chymestree. 

EARLY  PUNISHMENTS   IN   MASSACHUSETTS. 

From  the  early  records  of  Massachusetts  we  learn  that  the 
following  singular  punishments  were  inflicted  in  that  colony 
two  hundred  years  ago : — 

Sir  Richard  Salstonstall,  fined  four  bushels  of  malt  for  his 
absence  from  the  court. 

Josias  Plaistowe,  for  stealing  four  baskets  of  com  from  the 
Indians,  to  return  them  eight  baskets  again,  to  be  fined  £5,  and 
hereafter  to  be  called  Josias,  not  Mr.  as  he  used  to  be. 

Thomas  Peter,  for  suspicions  of  slander,  idleness,  and  stub- 
bornness, is  to  be  severely  whipped  and  kept  in  hold. 


152  PURITAN  PXGULIABITIES. 

Capt.  Stone,  for  abusing  Mr.  Ludlow  by  calling  bim  justcus, 
fined  £100^  and  prohibited  coming  within  the  patent. 

Joyce  Dradwick  to  give  unto  Alexander  Becks  20*.,  for 
promising  him  marriage  without  her  friends'  consent^  and  now 
refusing  to  perform  the  same. 

Richard  Turner,  for  being  notoriously  drunk,  fined  £2, 

Edward  Palmer,  for  his  extortion  in  taking  32s.  7d.  for  the 
plank  and  work  of  Boston  stocks,  fined  £5,  and  sentenced  to 
sit  one  hour  in  the  stocks. 

John  White  bound  in  £10  to  good  behavior,  and  not  come 
into  the  company  of  his  neighbor  Thomas  Bell's  wife  alone. 

YIBQINIA  PENALTIES   IN   THE  OLDEN   TIME. 

From  the  old  records  in  the  Court  House  of  Warwick  County, 
Virginia,  we  extract  some  entries  of  decisions  by  the  court  under 
date  of  October  21,  1663.  It  may  be  worth  while  to  remark 
that  at  that  early  period  tobacco  was  not  only  a  staple  commodity 
but  a  substitute  for  currency. 

"  Mr.  John  Harlow,  and  Alice  his  wife,  being  by  the  grand 
inquest  presented  for  absenting  themselves  firom  church,  are, 
according  to  the  act,  fined  each  of  them  fifty  pounds  of  tobacco; 
and  the  said  Mr.  John  Harlow  ordered  forthwith  to  pay  one 
hundred  pounds  of  tobacco  to  the  sheriff,  otherwise  the  said 
sheriff  to  levy  by  way  of  distress." 

"  Jane  Harde,  the  wife  of  Henry  Harde,  being  presented  for 
not  'tending  church,  is,  according  to  act,  fined  fifty  pounds  of 
tobacco ;  and  the  sheriff  is  ordered  to  collect  the  same  firom  her; 
and,  in  case  of  non-payment,  to  distress." 

'^  John  Lewis,  his  wife  this  day  refusing  to  take  the  oath  of 
allegiance,  being  ordered  her,  is  committed  into  the  sheriff's 
custody,  to  remain  until  she  take  the  said  oath,  or  until  further 
ordered  to  the  contrary." 

"  John  Lewis,  his  wife  for  absenting  herself  from  church,  is 
fined  fifty  pounds  of  tobacco,  to  be  collected  by  the  sheriff  fix)m 
her  husband;  and  upon  non-payment,  the  said  sheriff  to  distress.'' 


PURITAN   PXCUUARITIES.  163 

'*  Geoige  Harwood,  being  prosecuted  for  his  absenting  him- 
self ftom  church,  is  fined  fifty  pounds  of  tobacco,  to  be  levied 
by  way  of  distress  by  the  sheriff  upon  his  non-payment  thereof." 

'^  Peter  White  and  his  wife,  being  presented  for  common 
swearing,  are  fined  fifty  pounds  of  tobacco,  both  of  them;  to  be 
collected  by  the  sheriff  from  the  said  White,  and,  upon  non- 
payment of  the  same,  to  distress." 

^'  Richard  King,  being  presented  as  a  common  swearer,  is 
fined  fifty  pounds  of  tobacco,  to  be  levied  by  the  sheriff,  by  way 
of  distress,  upon  his  non-payment." 

EXTRACTS   FROM   THE  CONNECTICUT  BLUE  LAWS. 

When  these  free  states  were  colonies 

Unto  the  mother  nation. 
And  in  Conneotiout  the  good 

Old  Blue  Laws  were  in  fashion. 

The  following  extracts  from  the  laws  ordained  by  the  people 
of  New  Haven,  previous  to  their  incorporation  with  the  Say- 
brook  and  Hartford  colonies,  afford  an  idea  of  the  strange  cha- 
racter of  their  prohibitions.  As  the  substance  only  is  given  in 
the  transcription,  the  language  is  necessarily  modernized : — 

No  quaker  or  dissenter  ftom  the  established  worship  of  the 
dominion  shall  be  allowed  to  give  a  vote  for  the  election  of 
magistrates,  or  any  officer. 

No  food  or  lodging  shall  be  afforded  to  a  quaker,  adamite,  or 
other  heretic. 

If  any  person  turns  quaker,  he  shall  be  banished,  and  not 
suffered  to  return,  but  upon  pain  of  death. 

No  priest  shall  abide  in  the  dominion :  he  shall  be  banished, 
and  suffer  death  on  his  return.  Priests  may  be  seized  by  any 
one  without  a  warrant. 

No  man  to  cross  a  river  but  with  an  authorized  ferryman. 

No  one  shall  run  on  the  sabbath-day,  or  walk  in  his  garden, 
or  elsewhere,  except  reverently  to  and  ftom  meeting. 

No  one  shall  travel,  cook  victuals,  make  beds,  sweep  house, 
cut  hair  or  shave,  on  the  sabbath-day. 


154  PUttlTAN  PECULIARITIES. 

No  woman  shall  kiss  her  child  on  the  sabbath  or  fasting-day. 

The  sabbath  shall  begin  at  sunset  on  Saturday. 

To  pick  an  ear  of  corn  growing  in  a  neighbor's  garden  shall 
be  deemed  theft. 

A  person  accused  of  trespass  in  the  night  shall  be  judged 
guiltjy  unless  he  clear  himself  by  oath. 

When  it  appears  that  an  accused  has  confederates^  and  he 
refuses  to  discover  them,  he  may  be  racked. 

No  one  shall  buy  or  sell  lands  without  permission  of  the 
selectmen. 

A  drunkard  shall  have  a  master  appointed  by  the  selectmen, 
who  are  to  debar  him  the  liberty  of  buying  and  selling. 

Whoever  publishes  a  lie  to  the  prejudice  of  his  neighbor, 
shall  sit  in  the  stocks  or  be  whipped  fifteen  stripes. 

No  minister  shall  keep  a  school. 

Men-stealers  shall  suffer  death. 

Whoever  wears  clothes  trimmed  with  gold,  silver,  or  bone 
lace,  above  two  shillings  by  the  yard,  shall  be  presented  by  the 
grand  jurors,  and  the  selectmen  shall  tax  the  offender  at  £300 
estate. 

A  debtor  in  prisoo,  swearing  he  has  no  estate,  shall  be  let 
out,  and  sold  to  make  satisfaction. 

Whoever  sets  a  fire  in  the  woods,  and  it  bums  a  house,  shall 
suffer  death ;  and  persons  suspected  of  this  crime  shall  be  im- 
prisoned without  benefit  of  bail. 

Whoever  brings  cards  or  dice  into  this  dominion  shall  pay 
a  fine  of  £6. 

No  one  shall  read  common-prayer,  keep  Christmas  or  saint- 
days,  make  minced  pies,  dance,  play  cards,  or  play  on  any  in- 
strument of  music,  except  the  drum,  trumpet,  and  Jews-harp. 

No  gospel  minister  shall  join  people  in  marriage ;  the  magis- 
trates only  shall  join  in  marriage,  as  they  may  do  it  with  less 
scandal  to  Christ's  church. 

When  parents  refuse  their  children  convenient  marriages,  the 
magistrate  shall  determine  the  point. 

The  selectmen,  on  finding  children  ignorant,  may  take  them 


PAB0N0MA8IA.  155 

away  from  their  parents,  and  put  them  into  better  handa,  at 
the  expense  of  their  parents. 

A  man  that  strikes  his  wife  shall  pay  a  fine  of  £10 ;  a  woman 
that  strikes  her  husband  shall  be  puoisfaed  as  the  court  directs. 

A  wife  shall  be  deemed  good  evidence  against  her  husband. 

Married  persons  must  live  together,  or  be  imprisoned. 

No  man  shall  court  a  maid  in  person,  or  by  letter,  without 
first  obtaining  consent  of  her  parents  :  £5  penalty  for  the  first 
offence;  £10  for  the  second ;  and  for  the  third,  imprisonment 
during  the  pleasure  of  the  court 

Every  male  shall  have  his  hair  cut  round  according  to  a  oap. 


paronomasia. 

Hard  ia  the  job  to  lannoh  the  detpemte  pun ; 

A  pun-joh  dangeroos  u  the  Indian  one. — HoLma. 

Life  and  langua^  are  alike  sacred.  Homicide  and  Mrfrieuie— that  \b,  tIo- 
lent  treatment  of  a  word  with  fatal  results  to  its  legitimate  meaning,  which  ij 
its  life— axe  alike  forbidden.  Mantknighter,  which  is  the  meaning  of  the  one» 
is  the  same  as  sMJi't  laugkttr,  which  is  the  end  of  the  other. — IbU). 

The  quaint  Cardan  thus  defineth  : — '^  Punning  is  an  art  of 
harmonious  jingling  upon  words,  which,  passing  in  at  the  ears 
and  fiilling  upon  the  diaphragma,  excites  a  titillary  motion  in 
those  parts ;  and  this,  being  conveyed  by  the  animal  spirits  into 
the  muscles  of  the  face,  raises  the  cockles  of  the  heart." 

'<  He  who  would  make  a  pun  would  pick  a  pocket,"  is  the 
stereotyped  dogma  fulminated  by  laugh-lynchers  from  time  im- 
memorial; or,  as  the  Autocrat  hath  it,  *<To  trifle  with  the 
vocabulary  which  is  the  vehicle  of  social  intercourse  is  to  tam- 
per with  the  currency  of  human  intelligence.  He  who  would 
violate  the  sanctities  of  his  mother  tongue  would  invade  the  re- 
cesses of  the  paternal  till  without  remorse,  and  repeat  the  ban- 
quet of  Saturn  without  an  indigestion."    The  '^  inanities  of  this 


156  PABONOMASIA. 

working-day  world"  cannot  perceive  any  wittiness  or  grace  io 
punning;  and  yet,  according  to  the  comprehensive  definition  of 
wit  by  Dr.  Barrow,  the  eminent  divine,  it  occupies  a  very  con- 
siderable portion  of  the  realm  of  wit.  He  says,  ^' Wit  is  a  thing 
BO  versatile  and  multiform,  appearing  in  so  many  shapes,  so 
many  postures,  so  many  garbs,  so  variously  apprehended  by 
several  eyes  and  judgments,  that  it  seemeth  no  less  hard  to 
settle  a  clear  and  certain  notion  thereof,  than  to  make  a  por- 
trait of  Proteus,  or  to  define  the  figure  of  the  fleeting  air. 
Sometimes  it  licth  in  pat  allusions  to  a  known  storn/y  or  in 
seasonable  application  of  a  trivial  satfing^  or  in  feigning  an 
apposite  tale ;  sometimes  it  playeth  in  words  and  phrases^ 
taking  advantage  of  the  amhiguitif  of  tlieir  sense,  or  the  affinity 
of  their  sound;  sometimes  it  is  wrapped  in  a  dress  of  humorous 
expression,  sometimes  it  lurketh  under  an  odd  similitude; 
sometimes  it  is  lodged  in  a  sly  question,  in  a  smart  answer,  in 
a  quirkish  reason,  in  a  shrewd  intimation,  in  cunningly, 
divcrtingly,  or  cleverly  retorting  an  objection ;  sometimes  it  is 
couched  in  a  bold  scheme  of  speech,  in  a  tart  irony,  in  a  lusty 
hyperbole,  in  a  startling  metaphor,  in  a  plausible  reconciling 
of  contradictions,  or  in  acute  nonsense;  sometimes  a  scenic  re- 
presentation of  persons  or  things,  a  counterfeit  speech,  a  mimic 
look  or  gesture,  passeth  for  it.  Sometimes  an  affected  simpli- 
city, sometimes  a  presumptuous  bluntness,  giveth  it  being. 
Sometimes  it  riseth  only  from  a  lucky  hitting  upon  what  is 
strange;  sometimes  from  a  crafty  wresting  of  obvious  matter 
to  the  purpose.  Often  it  consisteth  of  one  knows  not  what, 
and  springcth  up  one  can  hardly  tell  how.  Its  ways  are  unac« 
countable  and  inexplicable,  being  answerable  to  the  numberlesR 
rovings  of  fancy  and  windings  of  language.'' 

If  this  definition  be  true,  there  is  truth  as  well  as  wit  in  the 
punster's  reply  to  the  taunt  of  the  rhetorician  that  ''  punning 
is  the  lowest  species  of  wit."  "Yes,"  said  he,  "for  it  is  the 
foundation  of  all  wit."  But,  whatever  may  be  said  of  the 
practice  by  those  who  affect  to  despise  it,  it  has  been  much  in 
vogue  in  all  ages.     Home,  in  his  Introduction  to  the  Critical 


PAB0N0MA8IA.  157 

Study  of  the  Holy  ScriptureSf  tells  us  tbat  it  was  a  very  layorite 
figare  of  rhetoric  among  the  Hebrews,  and*  is  yet  common 
among  most  of  the  Oriental  nations.  Professor  Stuart,  in  his 
Hebrew  grammar,  gives  numerous  examples  of  it  in  the  Old 
Testament,  and  Winer  and  Home  point  out  others  in  the  New 
Testament,  especially  in  the  writings  of  St.  Paul.  These  can- 
not, of  course,  be  equivalently  expressed  in  £nglish. 

Many  of  the  Greek  authors  exhibit  a  fondness  for  this  rheto- 
rical figure,  and  some  of  the  most  excellent  puns  extant  are  to 
be  found  in  the  Greek  Anthologies.  As  a  specimen,  the  follow- 
ing is  given  from  Wesseling's  Diodorus  Siculus : — 

Dioflcurus,  an  Egyptian  bishop,  before  he  began  the  service, 
had  the  common  custom  of  saying  etprjvfj  itcurtv,  (irene  pasin,) 
jpeace  he  to  all.  It  was  notorious  that  the  pious  churchman 
had  at  home  a  favorite  mistress,  whose  name  was  Irene,  which 
incident  produced  the  following  smart  epigram  :— 

Hus  Smarat  temrtf,  ^k  /lOfo;  <vA)y  i^k; 

(The  good  bishop  wishes  peace — Irene — to  all ; 

Bat  how  can  he  giTe  that  to  all,  which  he  keeps  to  himself  at  home?) 

A  PUN-GENT  CHAPTER. 

At  one  time  there  was  a  general  strike  among  the  working- 
men  of  Paris,  and  Theodore  Hook  gave  the  following  amusing 
account  of  the  affair : — <'  The  bakers,  being  ambitious  to  extend 
their  cf^mains,  declared  that  a  revolution  was  needed,  and, 
though  not  exactly  bred  up  to  arms,  soon  reduced  their  crmfy 
masters  to  terms.  The  tailors  called  a  council  of  the  board  to 
see  what  measures  should  be  taken,  and,  looking  upon  the 
bakers  as  the  flower  of  chivalry,  decided  to  follow  suit;  the  con- 
sequence of  which  was,  that  a  cereous  insurrection  was  lighted 
up  among  the  candle-makers,  which,  however  trtc^-ed  it  might 
appear  in  the  eyes  of  some  persons,  developed  traits  of  charao* 
ter  not  unworthy  of  ancient  Greece** 

14 


158  PARONOMASIA. 

Why  shonld  no  man  starve  on  the  deserts  of  Arabia  J 

Becaose  of  the  sand  which  is  there. 

How  came  the  sandwiches  there  f 

The  tribe  of  ffam  was  bred  there^  and  mustered. 

A  clergyman  who  had  united  in  marriage  a  couple  whose 
Christian  names  were  Benjamin  and  Annie,  on  being  aaked  by 
a  mutual  friend  how  they  appeared  during  the  ceremony,  re- 
plied that  they  appeared  both  annie-mhicd  and  bene-^tted* 

Mr.  Manners,  who  had  but  lately  been  created  Earl  of  Rut- 
land, said  to  Sir  Thomas  More,   just  made  Lord  Chancellor, — 

'^  You  are  so  much  elated  with  your  preferment  that  you 
verify  the  old  proverb, — 

HonoreB  mutant  MoRlS. " 

"  No,  my  lord,"  said  Sir  Thomas :  "  the  pun  will  do  much 
better  in  English  : — 

Honor*  change  Mannbrs." 

An  old  writer  said  that  when  cannons  were  introduced  as 
negotiators,  the  canons  of  the  church  were  useless;  that  the 
world  was  governed  first  by  mitrumj  and  then  by  nitrum^ — first 
by  St  Peter,  and  then  by  saltpetre. 

Colman,  the  dramatist,  on  being  asked  whether  he  knew 
Theodore  Hook,  replied,  <'0h,  yes:  Book  and  Ej/e  are  old 
associates." 

Punch  says,  ''the  milk  of  human  kindness  is  not  to  be 
found  in  the  pail  of  society."  If  so,  we  think  it  is  time  for 
all  hands  to  "  kick  the  bucket.*' 

Judge  Peters,  formerly  of  the  Philadelphia  Bench,  observed 
to  a  friend,  during  a  trial  that  was  going  on,  that  one  of  the 
witnesses  had  a  vegetable  head.  "  How  so  ?"  was  the  inquiry. 
''  He  has  carroty  hair,  reddish  cheeks,  a  turnup  nose,  and  a 
sage  look." 

Tom  Hood,  seeing  over  the  shop-door  of  a  beer-vendor,— 
Bear  Sold  Here, 
said  it  was  spelled  right,  bennuse  it  was  his  own  Bruin. 


PABONOMASIA.  159 

Charles  Mathews,  the  comedian^  was  served  by  a  green-gro- 
eer,  named  Berry,  and  generally  settled  his  bill  once  a  quarter. 
At  one  time  the  account  was  sent  in  before  it  was  due,  and 
Mathews,  laboring  under  an  idea  that  his  credit  was  doubted, 
said,  <'  Here's  a  pretty  mull,  Berry.  You  have  sent  in  your 
billy  Berry,  before  it  is  due,  Berry.  Tour  father,  the  dder 
Beny,  would  not  have  been  such  a  (j/oose,  Beny ;  but  you  need 
not  look  so  black,  Berry,  for  I  don't  care  a  straw,  Berry,  and 
sha'n't  pay  you  till  Christmas,  Berry." 

Sheridan,  being  dunned  by  a  tailor  to  pay  at  least  the  interest 
on  his  bill,  answered  that  it  was  not  his  interest  to  pay  the 
principal,  nor  his  principle  to  pay  the  interest 

In  the  ''Old  India  House"  may  still  be  seen  a  quarto  volume 
of  IrUeretA  Tables,  on  the  fly-leaf  of  which  is  written,  in  Charles 
Lamb's  round,  clerkly  hand, — 

"A  book  of  much  interest" — Edinburgh  Review. 
<<  A  work  in  which  the  interest  never  flogs."— Quaiter(y  Beritw, 
**  Wo  maj  saj  of  this  Tolame,  that  the  interest  inereMss  from  tlio  begiii- 
nlng  to  the  end." — Monthly  Eeview. 

Turner,  the  painter,  was  at  a  dinner  where  several  artists, 
amateurs,  and  literary  men  were  convened.  A  poet,  by  way 
of  being  facetious,  proposed  as  a  toast,  '<  The  Painters  and 
Glaziers  of  England.*'  The  toast  was  drunk;  and  Turner, 
after  returning  thanks  for  it,  proposed  ^'Success  to  the  Baper" 
Stainers,"  and  called  on  the  poet  to  respond. 

SHORT  ROAD  TO  WEALTH, 
ni  tell  JOQ  a  plan  for  gaining  wealth, 

Better  than  banking,  trade,  or  leases ; 
Take  a  bank-note  and  fold  it  across. 

And  then  70U  will  find  joor  money  ih-cmiasss  ! 
This  wonderftU  plan,  without  danger  or  loss. 

Keeps  your  cash  in  yoar  hands,  and  with  nothing  to  tioaUo  it ; 
And  OTory  time  that  yon  fold  it  across, 

'Tis  plain  as  the  light  of  the  day  that  you  doubl«  it! 

"  I  cannot  more/'  the  plaintive  Inyalid  cries, 
''Nor  sit,  nor  stand."— If  he  says  true,  he  lim. 


160  PARONOMASIA. 

Dr.  Johnson  having  freely  expressed  his  aversion  to  punning, 
Boswell  hinted  that  his  illustrious  friend's  dislike  to  this  species 
of  small  wit  might  arise  from  his  inability  to  play  upon  words. 
"Sir",  roared  Johnson,  "if  I  were  punish-ed  for  every  pun  I 
shed,  there  would  not  be  left  a  puny  shed  of  my  punnish  head." 
Once,  by  accident,  he  made  a  singular  pun.  A  person  who 
affected  to  live  after  the  Greek  manner,  and  to  anoint  himself 
with  oil,  was  one  day  mentioned  to  him.  Johnson,  in  the  course 
of  conversation  on  the  singularity  of  his  practice,  give  him  the 
denomination  of  this  man  of  Grease, 

Sydney  Smith — so  Lord  Houghton  in  his  Mono^aphs  tells 
us — has  written  depreciatingly  of  all  playing  upon  words;  but 
his  rapid  apprehension  could  not  altogether  exclude  a  kind  of 
wit  which,  in  its  best  forms,  takes  fast  hold  of  the  memory, 
besides  the  momentary  amusement  it  excites.  His  objection 
to  the  superiority  of  a  city  feast :  "  I  cannot  wholly  value  a 
dinner  by  the  test  you  do  (testiido);" — his  proposal  to  settle  the 
question  of  the  wood  pavement  around  St.  Paul's :  "  Let  the 
Canons  once  lay  their  heads  together  and  the  thing  will  be  done ;" 
— his  pretty  compliment  to  his  friends,  JNIrs.  Tighe  and  Mrs. 
Cuffe :  "Ah !  there  you  are :  the  cuff  that  every  one  would  wear, 
the  tie  that  no  one  would  loose" — may  be  cited  as  perfect  in 
their  way. 

Admiral  Duncan's  address  to  the  officers  who  came  on  board 
his  ship  for  instructions,  previous  to  the  engagement  with  Ad- 
miral de  Winter,  was  laconic  and  humorous :  "  Gentlemen,  you 
see  a  severe  Winter  approaching ;  I  have  only  to  advise  you  to 
keep  up  a  good  fire." 

Theodore  Hook  plays  thus  on  the  same  name :— - 

Here  comes  Mr.  Winter,  inspector  of  taxes; 

I  advise  yon  to  give  him  whatever  he  axes; 

I  advise  jou  to  give  him  without  anj  flammerj, 

For  though  his  name's  Winter  his  actions  are  tummary, 

Henry  Erskine*s  toast  to  the  mine-owners  of  Lancashire  :— 
Sink  yoar  pits,  blast  jour  mines,  dam  your  rivers,  oonsame  your  mann* 
faotures,  disperse  your  commerce,  and  may  your  labors  be  in  vein. 


PARONOMASIA.  161 

TOM   MOORE. 

Wh«n  Limerick,  in  idle  whim, 

Moore  as  her  member  lately  courted, 
'The  boys/  for  form's  sake,  asked  of  him 

To  state  what  party  he  supported. 

When  thus  his  answer  promptly  ran, 

(Now  gire  the  wit  his  meed  of  gloiy :) 
« I'm  of  no  party  as  a  man. 

But  as  a  poet  am-oriory,** 

TOP  AND  BOTTOM. 

The  foUowiDg  playful  colloquy  in  verse  took  place  at  a  din- 
ner-table, between  Sir  George  Hose  and  James  Smith,  in  alla^ 
flion  to  Craven  street,  Strand,  where  the  latter  resided  : — 

J.  S. — At  the  top  of  my  street  the  attorneys  abound. 
And  down  at  the  bottom  the  barges  are  found : 
Fly,  honesty,  fly  to  some  safer  retreat, 
For  there's  erq/t  in  the  river,  and  crmft  in  the  street 

bir  G.  &. — ^Why  should  honesty  fly  to  some  safer  retreat, 
From  attorneys,  and  barges,  od-rot  'em  ? 
For  the  lawyers  are  javi  at  the  top  of  the  street. 
And  the  barges  are  jiui  at  the  bottom. 

OLD  JOKE   VERSIFIED. 

Says  Tom  to  Bill,  pray  tell  me,  sir. 

Why  is  it  that  the  devil. 
In  spite  of  all  his  naughty  ways. 

Can  never  be  uncivil  ? 

Says  Bill  to  Tom,  the  answer's  plain 

To  any  mind  that's  bright : 
Because  the  imp  of  darkness,  sir. 

Can  ne'er  be  imp  o'  lighL 

A  printer's  epitaph. 

Here  lies  a  form — ^plaoe  no  impoting  «toft« 

To  mark  the  head,  where  weary  it  is  lain ; 
'TIS  matter  dead  ! — its  mission  being  done. 

To  be  distributed  to  dust  again. 
The  bftdif'e  but  the  type,  at  best,  of  man, 

Whose  impretf  is  the  spirit's  deathless  pageg 
Wom  out,  the  type  is  thrown  to  pi  again. 

The  impreeeion  lives  through  an  eternal  age. 
L  14* 


162  PARONOMASIA.  — 

8TI0KT. 

I  want  to  seal  a  letter,  Dick, 
Some  wax  pray  give  to  me. — 

I  liave  not  got  a  single  Hick, 
Or  whaek$  Td  give  to  thee. 

WOMEN. 
When  Eve  brought  woe  to  all  mankind, 

Old  Adam  called  her  wo-mtm  / 
But  when  she  tooo'd  with  love  so  kind. 

He  then  pronounced  her  woo-mosi. 

But  now  with  follj  and  with  pride. 
Their  husbands'  pockets  trimming, 

The  ladies  are  so  Axil  of  whinu, 
The  people  call  them  toAtm-mea. 

BEN,   THE  SAILOR. 
His  death,  which  happened  in  his  berth, 

At  forty  odd  befell : 
They  went  and  told  the  sexton,  and 

The  sexton  tolled  the  belL— Hood's  Faithleee  SaO^ 

WHISKERS  VERSUS  RAZOR. 
With  whiskers  thick  upon  my  face 

I  went  my  fair  to  see ; 
She  told  me  she  could  never  love 

A  bear-faeed  chap  like  me. 

I  shaved  then  clean,  and  called  again, 
And  thought  my  troubles  o'er; 

She  laughed  outright,  and  said  I  was 
More  bare-faced  than  before ! 

COMPLIMENT  OF  SHERIDAN  TO  MISS  PATNS. 
'Tis  true  I  am  ill ;  but  I  cannot  complain, 
For  he  never  know  pleasure  who  never  knew  Payne. 

FROM   DR.  holmes'     <<  MODEST  REQUEST." 

Thus  great  Achilles,  who  had  shown  his  seal 

In  HBALino  WOUNDS,  died  of  a  wounded  hebl; 

Unhappy  chief,  who,  when  in  childhood  doused, 

Had  saved  his  bacon  had  his  foot  been  boubbd  I 

Accursed  heel,  that  killed  a  hero  stout ! 

Oh,  had  your  mother  known  that  you  were  out, 


PAK0N0MA8IA.  Igg 

Deftth  had  not  entered  at  the  trifling  part 
That  still  defies  the  small  chimrgeon's  art 
With  eom  and  BumoNS, — ^not  the  glorious  Jobs 
Who  wrote  the  book  we  all  have  pondered  on, — 
Bat  other  buviohb,  bound  in  fleecy  hose, 
To  "PiuiRiif's  Pboorbss"  unrelenting  foea! 

PLAINT  OF  THE  OLD  PAUPSB« 

Some  boast  of  their  FOBB-fiUhen— I^ 

I  hare  not  ohb  1 
I  am,  I  thinky  like  Joshua, 

The  son  of  horx  i 

Heedless  in  youth,  we  little  note 

How  quick  time  passes. 
For  then  flows  ruby  wine^  not  sand. 

In  01TB  glasses ! 

Rich  ftiends  (most  pure  in  honor)  all  hare  fled 

Sooner  or  later; 
Pshaw !  had  they  Lidia's  spices,  they'd  not  be 

A  nutmeg-OBATBB ! 

Pre  neither  chick  nor  child;  as  I  hare  nothings 

Why, 'tis  lucky  rather; 
Tet  who  that  hears  a  squalling  baby  wishes 

Not  to  be  FATHBB? 

Some  few  years  back  my  spirits  and  my  youth 

Were  quite  amasin'; 
Brisk  as  a  pony,  or  a  lawyer's  clerk, 

Just  fresh  from  Gray's  Lm  t 

What  am  I  now?  wealfc,  old,  and  poor,  and  hj 

The  parish  found; 
Their  mmob  keeps  me,  while  many  an  ass 

Eigoys  the  parish  Pouim ! 

TO  MT  NOSE. 

Knows  he  that  never  took  a  pinch. 

Nosey !  the  pleasure  thence  which  flows  f 
Knows  he  the  titillating  Joy 

Which  my  nose  knows  ? 

Oh,  nose !  I  am  as  fond  of  thee 

As  any  mountain  of  its  snows  1 
I  gase  on  thee,  and  feel  that  pride 

A  Roman  knows  I 


164  PARONOMASIA. 

BOOK-LAROENY. 

Sir  Walter  Scott  said  that  some  of  his  frieiida  were  bad 
accountants,  but  ezcellent  book-keepers. 

How  hardy  when  those  who  do  not  wijh 

To  lend — ^that's  lose — their  books. 
Are  snared  by  anglers — folks  that  fish 

With  literary  hooks; 

Who  call  and  take  some  farorite  tome, 

But  never  read  it  through ; 
They  thus  complete  their  sett  at  home, 

By  making  one  of  you. 

I,  of  my  Spenser  quite  bereft, 

Last  winter  sore  was  shaken ; 
Of  Lamb  I've  but  a  quarter  left, 

Nor  could  I  save  my  Bacon. 

They  picked  my  Locke,  to  me  far  more 

Than  Bramah's  patent  worth; 
And  now  my  losses  I  deplore. 

Without  a  Home  on  earth. 

Byen  Glover's  works  I  cannot  put 

My  frosen  hands  upon  ; 
Though  ever  since  I  lost  my  Foote, 

My  Bunyan  has  been  gone. 

My  life  is  wasting  fast  away ; 

I  suffer  from  these  shocks ; 
And  though  I've  fixed  a  lock  on  Gray, 

There's  gray  upon  my  looks. 

They  still  have  made  me  slight  returns. 

And  thus  my  grief  divide ; 
For  oh  1  they've  cured  me  of  my  Burns, 

And  eased  my  Akenside. 

But  all  I  think  I  shall  not  say. 

Nor  let  my  anger  bum ; 
For  as  they  have  not  found  me  Gay, 

They  have  not  left  me  Sterne. 

THE   VEGETABLE  GIRL. 
Behind  a  market  stall  installed, 

I  mark  it  every  day, 
Stands  at  her  stand  the  fairest  girl 

I've  met  with  in  the  bay ; 


PARONOBfASIA.  165 

Her  two  lips  are  of  cherry  red. 

Her  hands  a  pretty  pair. 
With  nich  a  pretty  tam-up  nose, 

And  lorely  reddish  hair. 

Tis  there  she  stands  from  mom  till  night 

Her  customers  to  please, 
And  to  appease  their  appetite 

She  sells  them  heans  and  peas. 
Attracted  by  the  glanoes  from 

The  apple  of  her  eye» 
And  by  her  Chili  apples,  too^ 

Each  passer-by  will  bay. 

She  stands  upon  her  little  feet, 

Throughout  the  livelong  day, 
And  sells  her  oelery  and  things, — 

A  big  feat,  by  the  way. 
She  changes  off  her  stock  for  change^ 

Attending  to  each  call ; 
And  when  she  has  but  one  beet  left. 

She  says,  "Now  that  beats  all." 

EPITAPH   ON   AN   OLD   HORSE. 

Here  lies  a  faithful  steed, 
k  stanch,  uncompromising  '*  silver  gnjf 
ffho  ran  the  race  of  life  with  sprightly  speed. 

Yet  never  ran — away. 

Wild  oats  he  never  sowed, 
Tet  masticated  tame  ones  with  much  lest : 
Cheerful  he  bore  each  light  allotted  load. 

As  cheerMly  took  rest 

Bright  were  his  eyes,  yet  soft, 
And  in  the  main  his  tail  was  white  and  flowing; 
And  though  he  never  sketched  a  single  draught. 

He  showed  great  taste  for  drawing. 

Lithe  were  his  limbs,  and  clean. 
Fitted  alike  for  buggy  or  for  dray, 
And  like  Napoleon  the  Oreat,  I  ween, 

He  had  a  martial  neigh. 

Oft  have  I  watched  him  grace 
His  favorite  stall,  well  littered,  warm,  and  fair. 
With  such  contentment  shining  from  his  face^ 

And  such  a  stable  air! 


166  PABONOMASIA. 

With  here  and  there  a  speck 
Of  roan  diyeraifying  his  broad  back, 
And,  martyr-like,  a  halter  round  his  neck. 

Which  bound  him  to  the  raek. 

Mors  omnibus  1  at  length 
The  haj-daj  of  his  life  was  damped  by  death; 
So,  summoning  all  his  late  remaining  strength, 

He  drew  his — final  breath. 

GRAND   SCHEME  OF  EMIGRATION. 

The  Brewers  should  to  Malt-a  go. 
The  Loggerheads  to  Scilly, 

The  Quakers  to  the  Friendly  liUt, 
The  Furriers  all  to  Chili. 

The  little  squalling,  brawling  brats. 
That  break  our  nightly  rest, 

Should  be  packed  oflf  to  Babylon, 
To  Lap-land,  or  to  SruU 

From  Sjnt-hecul  Cooks  go  o'er  to  Grteee; 

And  while  the  Miser  waits 
His  passage  to  the  Ouinea  coast. 

Spendthrifts  are  in  the  StraiU. 

Spinsters  should  to  the  NeedUa  go, 
Wine-bibbers  to  Burgundy; 

Gourmands  should  lunch  at  Sandwich  hie*, 
Wags  in  the  Bay  of  Fun-dy. 

Musicians  hasten  to  the  Sound, 
The  surplieed  Priest  to  Rome; 

While  still  the  race  of  Hypocrites 
At  Cani-on  are  at  home. 

Lovers  should  hasten  to  Oood  Hope; 

To  some  Cape  Horn  is  pain ; 
Debtors  should  go  to  Oh-i-^, 

And  Sailors  to  the  ifaii»-«. 

Hie,  Bachelors,  to  the  United  Suueel 
Maids,  to  the  leU  of  Mam; 

Let  Gardeners  go  to  Botany  Bay, 
And  Shoeblacks  to  Japan, 

Thus,  emigrants  and  misplaced  men 
Will  then  no  longer  vox  us ; 

And  all  that  a'n't  provided  for 
Had  better  go  to  Teaeae, 


PAB0N0MA8IA.  167 

THE  PEBIL0U8  PRAOTIOB  OP  PUNNING. 

Theodore  Hook  thus  cautions  yoong  people  to  resist  proYO- 
eation  to  the  habit  of  punning: — 

My  little  dean,  who  learn  to  read,  pray  early  learn  to  shun 

That  Tery  silly  thing  indeed  whioh  people  call  a  pun. 

Read  Entick's  rules,  and  'twill  be  found  how  simple  an  offenoe 

It  is  to  make  the  self-same  sound  afford  a  double  sense. 

For  instance,  aU  may  make  you  ail,  your  aunt  an  ant  may  kiU, 

You  in  a  vale  may  buy  a  vail,  and  Bill  may  pay  the  bill, 

Or  if  to  France  your  bark  you  steer,  at  Dover  it  may  be^ 

A  peer  appeare  upon  the  pier,  who,  blind,  BtUl  goes  to  tea. 

Thus  one  might  say  when  to  a  treat  good  friends  accept  our  greeting, 

'Tis  meet  that  men  who  meet  to  eat,  should  eat  their  meat  when  meeting. 

Brawn  on  the  board  's  no  bore  indeed,  although  from  boar  prepared; 

Nor  can  the/<nc/  on  which  we  feed  foul  feeding  be  declared. 

Thus  one  ripe  fruit  may  be  %pear,  and  yet  \ie  pared  again. 

And  stiU  be  one,  which  seemeth  rare,  until  we  do  explain. 

It  therefore  should  be  all  your  aim  to  speak  with  ample  care; 

For  who,  howcTer  fond  of  game,  would  choose  to  swallow  hairt 

A  fat  man's  j^att  may  make  us  smile,  who  has  no  gate  to  dose; 

The  farmer  sitting  on  his  ttile  no  etglieh  person  knows; 

Perfumers  men  of  eeente  must  be;  some  Scilly  men  are  bright; 

A  brown  man  oft  deep  read  we  see— a  black  a  wicked  wight. 

Most  wealthy  men  good  manners  have,  however  vulgar  iJiey, 

And  actors  still  the  harder  elate  the  oftener  they  play; 

80  poets  can't  the  baize  obtain  unless  their  tailors  ohoosei. 

While  grooms  and  coachmen  not  in  vain  each  evening  seek  the  m«w9. 

The  dger  who  by  dying  lives,  a  dire  life  maintains; 

The  glazier,  it  is  known,  receives  his  profit*  from  his  panea; 

By  purdeners  tkyme  is  tied,  'tis  true,  when  Spring  is  in  its  primOy 

But  time  or  tide  won't  wait  for  you,  if  you  are  tied  for  time. 

There  now  you  see,  my  little  dears,  the  way  to  make  a  pun ; 

A  trick  which  you,  through  coming  years,  should  sedulously  shun. 

The  fault  admits  of  no  defense,  for  wheresoe'er  'tis  (jpund. 

Ton  sacrifice  the  eound  for  eenee,  the  eenee  is  never  eound. 

So  let  your  words  and  actions  too,  one  single  meaning  prove, 

And,  just  in  all  you  say  or  do,  you'll  gain  esteem  and  love : 

In  mirth  and  play  no  harm  you'll  know,  when  duty's  task  is  done; 

Bat  parents  ne'er  should  let  you  go  unpunished  for  a  pun. 

The  motto  of  the  Pilotage  Commission  of  the  river  Tyne : — 

In  portu  sains. 
In  port  you  sail  us. 


168  PABONOBiASIA. 

BONNET 
On  a  youth  who  died  from  a  turfeit  of  fruit 
Currants  hare  oheoked  the  current  of  my  blood. 
And  berries  brought  me  to  be  buried  here ; 
Pears  have  pared  off  mj  body's  hardihood, 
And  plums  and  plumbers  spare  not  one  so  spare : 
Fain  would  I  feign  my  fall ;  so  fair  a  fare 
Lessens  not  fate,  but  'tis  a  lesson  good : 
Gilt  will  not  long  hide  guilt;  such  thin-washed  ware 
Wears  quickly,  and  its  rude  touch  soon  is  rued. 
Grare  on  my  grave  some  sentence  grave  and  tersc^ 
That  lies  not,  as  it  lies  upon  my  clay; 
But,  in  a  gentle  strain  of  unstrained  verse. 
Prays  all  to  pity  a  poor  patty's  prey ; 
Rehearses  I  was  fruit-full  to  my  hearse, 
Tells  that  my  days  are  told,  and  soon  I'm  toll'd  away  I 

Previous  to  the  battle  of  Culloden,  when  Marshal  Wade  and 
Grenerals  Cope  and  Hawley  were  prevented  by  the  severity  of  the 
weather  from  advancing  as  far  into  Scotland  as  they  intended, 
the  following  lines  were  circulated  among  their  opposers : — 

Cope  could  not  cope,  nor  Wade  wade  through  the  snow. 

Nor  Hawley  haul  his  cannon  to  the  foe. 

When  Mrs.  Norton  was  called  on  to  subscribe  to  a  fund  for 
the  relief  of  Thomas  Hood's  widow,  which  had  been  headed 
by  Sir  Robert  Peel,  she  sent  a  liberal  donation  with  these 
lines: — 

To  cheer  the  widow's  heart  in  her  distress, 
To  make  provision  for  the  fatherless. 
Is  but  a  Christian's  duty,  and  none  should 
Resist  the  heart-appeal  of  widoto-Hood, 

M.  Mario's  visit  to  this  country  recalls  to  mind  the  sharpest 
witticism  of  Madame  Grisi,  at  the  time  his  wife,  and  one  of 
the  best  bits  of  repartee  on  record.  Louis  Phillippe,  passing 
through  a  room  where  Grisi  stood,  holding  two  of  her  young 
children  by  the  hand,  said  gaily :  "Ah !  Madame,  are  those, 
then,  some  of  your  little  Grtsettes?"  "No,  Sire,"  was  the 
quick  reply,  perfect  in  every  requirement  of  the  pun,  "  No, 
Sire,  these  are  my  little  Marionettes.** 


PARONOMASIA.  169 

A  learned  judge,  of  fkcetious  memory,  is  reported  to  have 
said,  in  an  argument  in  arrest  of  the  judgment  of  death,  '<I 
think  we  had  better  let  the  subject  drop." 

swift's  latin  puns. 
Among  the  nugx  of  Bean  Swift  are  his  celebrated  Latin 
puns,  some  of  which  are  well  known,  having  been  frequently 
copied,  and  having  never  been  excelled.  The  following  selec- 
tions will  serve  as  specimens.  They  consist  entirely  of  Latin 
words ;  but,  by  allowing  for  fake  spelling,  and  running  the  words 
into  each  other,  the  sentences  make  good  sense  in  English  :— 

Mollis  abuti,  (Moll  is  a  beaaty, 

Has  an  aenti,  Has  an  aonte  eye, 

No  lasso  finis.  No  lass  so  fine  is, 

MoUi  diyinis.  Molly  divine  is. 

Omi  de  armis  ires,  0  my  dear  mistress, 

Imi  na  dis  tres,  I'm  in  a  distress, 

Cantu  disco  ver  Can't  you  disoover 

Meas  alo  ver  ?  Me  ai  a  lover  ?) 

In  a  subsequent  epistolary  allusion  to  this,  he  says: — 
I  rita  a  Terse  o  na  molli  o  mi  ne, 
Asta  lassa  me  pole,  a  kedis  o  fine ; 
I  ne  yer  nen  a  niso  ne  at  in  mi  ni  is ; 
A  manat  a  glans  ora  sito  fer  diis. 
De  armo  lis  abuti  hos  faoe  an  hos  nos  is. 
As  fer  a  sal  illi,  as  reddas  aro  sis ; 
Ae  is  o  mi  molli  is  almi  de  lite; 
Illo  Terbi  de,  an  illo  rerbi  nite. 

(I  writ  yon  a  yerse  on  a  Molly  o'  mine, 
As  tall  as  a  may-pole,  a  lady  so  fine ; 
I  never  knew  any  so  neat  in  mine  eyes ; 
A  man,  at  a  glance  or  a  sight  of  her,  dies. 
Dear  Molly  's  a  beauty,  whose  faoe  and  whose  nose  is 
As  fair  as  a  lily,  as  red  as  a  rose  is ; 
A  kiss  o'  my  Molly  is  all  my  delight; 
I  love  her  by  day,  and  I  love  her  by  night) 

Extract  from  the  consultation  of  /our  phi/Hcians  on  a  lord 
that  was  dying, 
1st  Doctor.  Is  his  honor  sic?    Prs  l»tus  felis  pulse.    It  do 
es  beat  veris  loto  de. 

15 


170  PARONOMASIA. 

2d  Doctor.  No  notis  as  qui  cassi  e  ver  fel  tu  metri  it.  Inde 
edit  is  as  fastas  an  alarum,  ora  fire  bellat  nite. 

3^  Doctor,  It  is  veri  heil 

4:th  Doctor,  Note  contra  dictu  in  my  juge  mentitis  veri  loto 
de.  It  is  as  orto  maladi,  sum  callet.  [Here  e  ver  id  octo  reti 
resto  a  par  lori  na  mel  an  coll  post  ure.J 

Ist  D.  It  is  a  me  gri  mas  I  opi  ne. 

2d  D.  No  docto  rite  quit  fora  quin  si.  Heris  a  plane  sim 
tomo  fit.     Sorites  Paracelsus.     PrsB  re  adit. 

Ist  D,  Nono,  Doctor,  I  ne  ver  quo  te  aqua  casu  do. 

2d  D,  Sum  arso;  mi  autoris  no  ne. 

3J  D,  No  quare  lingat  prsB  senti  de  si  re.  His  Honor  is  sic 
ofia  colli  casure  as  I  sit  here. 

4th  D,  It  is  aether  an  atro  phi  ora  colli  casu  sed :  Ire  mem- 
bri  re  ad  it  in  Doctor  me  ades  esse,  here  it  is. 

Sd  D.  I  ne  ver  re  ad  apage  in  it,  no  re  ver  in  tendit. 

2d  D,  Fer  ne  is  offa  qui  te  di  ferent  noti  o  nas  i  here. 

Ist  D,  It  me  bea  pluri  si;  avo  metis  veri  pro  perfor  a  man 
at  his  age. 

l9t  D,  Is  his  honor  siok  ?  Pray  let  as  feel  his  pulse.  It  does  beat  very 
slow  to-day. 

2d  D,  No,  no,  'tis  as  quick  as  ever  I  felt ;  you  may  try  it  Indeed,  it  is  as 
fast  as  an  alarum,  or  a  fire-bell  at  night 

3(2  D,  It  is  yeiy  high. 

UK  If,  Not  to  contradict  you,  in  my  judgment  it  is  very  slow  to  day.  It 
is  a  sort  of  malady,  some  call  it  (Here  every  doctor  retires  to  a  parlor  in  a 
melancholy  posture.) 

l$t  D,  It  is  a  megrim,  as  I  opine. 

2d  D,  No,  doctor,  I  take  it  for  a  quinsy.  Here  is  a  plain  symptom  of  it 
So  writes  Paracelsus.    Pray  read  it 

\Bt  D,  No,  no,  doctor,  I  never  quote  a  quack  as  you  do. 

2d  D,  Some  are  so ;  my  author  is  none. 

Zd  D,  No  quarrelling  at  present,  I  desire.  His  honor  is  siok  of  a  colic  as 
sure  as  I  sit  here. 

Aih  D,  It  is  either  an  atrophy,  or  a  colic,  as  you  said.  I  remember  I  read 
it  in  Dr.  Mead's  Essay :  here  it  is. 

Zd  D.  I  never  read  a  page  in  it,  nor  ever  intend  it 

2d  D,  Feme  is  of  a  quite  different  notion,  as  I  hear. 

1«(  B,  It  may  be  a  pleurisy;  a  vomit  is  very  proper  for  a  man  at  his  age. 


PARONOMASIA.  171 

2d  D.  Ure  par  donat  praosanti  des  ire;  His  dis  eas  is  a  cata 
ride  clare  it. 

^  D.  Atlas  tume  fiodit  as  tone  in  his  quid  ni  es. 
4^A  D,  Itis  ale  pro  si  fora  uti  se.     Ab  lis  ter  me  bene  oessa 
risnm  de  oens.     Itis  aa  nre  medi  in  manicas  es. 

^  D.  1  findit  isto  late  tot  Iiinc  offa  reme  di;  fori  here  his 
honor  is  de  ad. 

2d  D.  His  ti  meis  cum. 
lit  D,  Is  it  trudo  ut  hinc? 

^ih  D,  It  is  veri  oerta  in.     His  Paris  his  belli  sto  ringo  ut 
foris  de  partu  re. 

3<f  D.  Nsd  i  fis  ecce  lens  is  de  ad  Isetus  en  dum  apri  esto 
prse  foris  sole. 

2d  D.  Toar  pardon  at  present  I  desire.  His  disease  is  a  catarrh,  I  declare  it. 
Zd  D,  At  last  yon  may  find  it  a  stone  in  his  kidneys. 
Atk  />.  It  is  a  leprosy  for  aught  I  see.    A  blister  may  be  necessary  some 
days  hence.     It  is  a  sure  remedy  in  many  cases. 
Zd  D,  I  find  it  is  too  late  to  think  of  a  remedy ;  for  I  hear  his  honor  is  dead. 
2d  Z>.  His  time  is  come. 
1«<  D.  Is  it  tnie,  do  you  think  ? 

4#A  D.  It  is  very  certain.    His  parish  bell  is  to  ring  out  for  his  departure. 
Zd  D.  Nay,  if  his  excellency's  dead,  let  us  send  'em  a  priest  to  pray  for 
hlssouL 

UNCONSCIOUS  OR    UNINTENTIONAL    PUNS. 
Elisabeth's  tylvan  dreit  was  therefore  well  suited  at  once  to  her  height 
and  to  the  dignity  of  her  mein,  which  her  conscious  rank  and  long  habit* 
of  authority  had  rendered  in  some  degree  too  masculine  to  be  seen  to  the 
best  adyantage  in  ordinary /em<i/«  loeeds. — Kenilworth,  iii.  9. 
Ill  gild  the  faces  of  the  grooms  withal 
That  it  may  seem  their  guilt. — Mcich^tk. 
While  underneath  the  eaves 

The  brooding  swallows  cling. 
As  if  to  show  their  sunny  backs 
And  twit  me  with  the  spring. — Song  of  the  Shirt, 

RUSSIAN  DOUBLE   ENTENDRE. 

The  following  message  was  sent  to  the  Emperor  Nicholas 
by  one  of  his  generals : — 

Volifi  YischSl,  ft  Varschftvoo  Ysi'at  nemogoo. 


172  PARONOMASIA. 

GLASSIOAL  PUNS  AND   MOTTOES. 

Sydney  Smith  proposed  as  a  motto  for  Bishop  Burgess^  bro- 
ther to  the  well-known  fish-sauce  purveyor^  the  following  Yir- 
gilian  pun  (^n.  iv.  1), — 

OrtMvi  jamdudnm  aaucia  oar&. 

A  London  tobacconist,  who  had  become  wealthy,  and  deter- 
mined to  set  up  his  carriage,  applied  to  a  learned  gentleman  for 
a  motto.     The  scholar  gave  him  the  Horatian  question,— 

QUID  RIDB8? 

(Why  do  you  laugh  l—SaL  /.  69)-- 
which  was  accordingly  adopted,  and  painted  on  the  panel. 

A  pedantic  bachelor  had  the  following  inscription  on  his  tea- 
caddy  : — 

TV  D0CB8. 

(Thou  Tea-chest.) 
Epitaph  on  a  Cat,  ascribed  to  Dr.  Johnson  (Hor.  lib.  L,  c.  12): — 

VI-OAT  DITBB  OMHKS. 

Two  gentlemen  about  to  enter  an  unoccupied  pew  in  a 
church,  the  foremost  found  it  locked.  His  companion,  tiot 
peroeiTing  it  at  the  moment,  inquired  why  he  retreated.  "  Fip- 
dor  vetaij*  said  he.  (Modesty  forbids.) 

A  gentleman  at  dinner  requested  a  friend  to  help  him  to  a 
potato,  which  he  did,  saying,  <<  I  think  you  will  find  that  a  good 
mealy  one."  <<  Thank  you,"  quoth  the  other:  <'it  could  not 
be  melwr**  (better). 

A  student  of  Latin,  being  confined  to  his  room  by  illness, 
was  called  upon  by  a  friend.  <<  What,  John,"  said  the  visitor, 
"sick,  eh?"     "Yes,"  replied  John,  "  «c  9um"  (so  I  am). 

In  King's  College  were  two  delinquents  named  respectively 
Payne  and  Culpepper.  Payne  was  expelled,  but  Culpepper 
escaped  punishment.  Upon  this^  a  wit  wrote  the  following  apt 
line  !— 

Ama  perira  potest;  Cufpa  j>erennis  est. 


PABONOMASIA.  173 

Andrew  Borde^  author  of  the  Breviary  of  Health,  called 
huDBelf  in  Latin  Andreas  Perforatus.  This  translation  of  a 
proper  name  was  according  to  the  fashion  of  the  time,  but  in 
this  instance  includes  a  pun, — ^perforatus,  bored  or  pierced. 

Joseph  n.,  Emperor  of  Germany,  during  a  yisit  to  Rome, 
went  to  see  the  princess  Santacroce,  a  young  lady  of  singular 
beauty,  who  had  an  evening  conversazione.  Next  morning 
appeared  the  following  pasquinade.  '<  Pasquin  asks,  '  What 
is  the  Emperor  Joseph  come  to  Rome  for  V  Marforio  answers, 
'Abaeiar  la  Santa  Croce' " — ^to  kiss  the  Holy  Cross. 

On  the  trial  of  Gamett,  the  Superior  of  the  Jesuits,  for  his 
participation  in  the  Gunpowder  Plot,  Coke,  then  Attorney- 
General,  concluded  his  speech  thus :—  Qui  cum  Jesu  itisy  nan 
tits  mm  Jesuith. 

A  few  years  ago,  seyeral  Jesuits  came  into  the  lecture-room 
of  an  Italian  professor  in  the  University  of  Pisa,  believing  he 
was  about  to  assail  a  favorite  dogma  of  theirs.  He  commenced 
his  lecture  with  the  following  words, — 

"  Qnaoti  Gesniti  sono  all'  inferno !" 
(How  many  Jesuits  there  are  in  hell !) 

When  remonstrated  with,  he  said  that  his  words  were — 

<'  Qnanti— Gesa !— iti  sono  all'  inferno !" 
(How  many  people,  0  Jems !  there  are  in  hell !) 

D'Israeli  says  that  Bossuet  would  not  join  his  young  com- 
panions, and  flew  to  his  solitary  tasks,  while  the  classical  boys 
avenged  themselves  by  a  schoolboy's  pun ;  applying  to  Bossuet 
Virgil's  hos  suet^us  ara4ro— the  ox  daily  toiling  in  the  plough. 

John  Randolph  of  Virginia,  and  Mr.  Dana  of  Connecticut, 
while  fellow-members  of  Congress,  belonged  to  different  po- 
litical parties.  On  one  occasion  Mr.  Dana  paid  some  hand- 
some compliments  to  Mr.  Randolph.  When  the  latter  spoke 
in  reply,  he  quoted  from  Virgil  (-^n.  ii.)  : — 

Timeo  Danaos  et  dona  ferentes. 
15* 


174  PABONOMASIA. 

A  lady  liaving  accidentally  thrown  down  a  Cremona  fiddle 
with  her  mantua,  Dean  Swift  instantly  remarked, — 

**Mantua  vaB  misers  nimium  yioina  Cremonm** 

Ah,  Mantua,  too  near  the  wretched  Cremona.  (Virg.  Eel.  ix.  28.) 
To  an  old  gentleman  who  had  lost  his  spectacles  one  rainy 
evening,  the  Dean  said,  "  If  this  rain  continues  all  night,  you 
will  certainly  recover  them  in  the  morning  betimes : 

"  Noote  pluit  tota — redeunt  9peciaeula  mane."  (Virgil.) 
Quid  faoies  facies  yeneris  si  veneris  ante? 
Ne  pereas  pereas,  ne  sedeas,  sedeas. 
(What  will  70U  do  if  you  shall  come  before  the  face  of  VenuB  ?    Lest  you 
should  perish  through  them,  do  not  sit  down,  but  go  away.) 

Sir  William  Dawes,  Archbishop  of  York,  was  very  fond  of 
a  pun.  His  clergy  dining  with  him  for  the  first  time  after  he 
had  lost  his  wife,  he  told  them  he  feared  they  did  not  find 
things  in  so  good  order  as  they  used  to  be  in  the  time  of  poor 
Mary;  and,  looking  extremely  sorrowful,  added  with  a  deep 
sigh,  "  she  was  indeed  mare  pacificumy  A  curate  who  knew 
pretty  well  what  her  temper  had  been,  said,  ^<  Yes,  my  lord, 
but  she  was  rnare  mortuum  first." 

That  Homer  should  a  bankrupt  be. 

Is  not  so  very  odd  d'yb  bbb, 

If  it  be  true  as  I'm  instructed, 

So  ILL  HE  had  his  books  conducted. 

PUNNING   MOTTOES   OF   THE   ENGLISH   PEEBAQE. 

Ne  vile.  Fang — Disgrace  not  the  altar.    Motto  of  the  Fanes. 

Ne  vile  vclii — Form  no  mean  wish.     The  Nevilles. 

Cavendo  tuttLs — Secure  by  caution.     The  Cavendishes. 

Forte  scu^wm,  iolus  ducum — A  strong  shield  the  safety  of 
leaders.     Lord  Foetescue. 

Ver  non  semper  viret — The  spring  is  not  always  green. 
Lord  Vernon. 

Vero  nihil  verius — ^Nothing  truer  than  truth.     Lord  Verb. 

Templa  qtiam  delecta — Temples  how  beloved.  Lord  Tem- 
ple. 


PARONOMASIA.  175 

JEUX-DE-MOTS. 

SPIRITUAL. 

A  wag  decides — 

That  whiskey  is  the  key  by  which  maDy  gun  an  entrance 
into  our  prisons  and  almshouses. 

That  brandy  brands  the  noses  of  all  who  cannot  govern  their 
appetites. 

That  wine  causes  many  a  man  to  take  a  winding  way  home. 

That  punch  is  the  cause  of  many  unfriendly  punches. 

That  ale  causes  many  ailings,  while  beer  brings  many  to  the 
bier. 

That  champagne  is  the  source  of  many  a  real  pain. 

That  gin-slings  have  ''  slewed"  more  than  the  slings  of  old. 

That  the  reputation  of  being  fond  of  cock-tails  is  not  a 
feather  in  any  man's  cap. 

That  the  money  spent  for  port  that  is  supplied  by  portly 
gents  would  support  many  a  poor  family. 

That  porter  is  a  weak  supporter  for  those  who  are  weak  in 
body. 

ANAGRAMMATIO. 

The  following  sentence  is  said  to  be  taken  from  a  volume  of 
sermons  published  during  the  reign  of  James  I. : — 

This  dial  shows  that  we  must  die  all;  yet  notwithstanding, 
all  houses  are  turned  into  ale  houses;  our  cares  into  cates;  our 
paradise  into  a  pair  o*  dice;  matrimony  into  a  matter  of 
fiumey,  and  marriage  into  a  m,erry  age;  our  divines  have  be- 
come cfry  vines:  it  was  not  so  in  the  days  of  Noah, — ah  I  no 

ITERATIVE. 

A  clerical  gentleman  of  Hartford,  who  once  attended  the 
House  of  Representatives  to  read  prayers,  being  politely  re- 
quested to  remain  seated  near  the  speaker  during  the  debate, 
found  himself  the  spectator  of  an  unmarrying  process,  so  alien 
to  his  own  vocation,  and  so  characteristic  of  the  readiness  of 


176  PARONOMASIA. 

the  Legislature  of  Connecticut  to  grant  divorceSi  that  the  result 
was  the  following  tmjpromptu: — 

For  etiMing  all  eoniiMf-ions  famed, 
Oonneet-4-eut  is  fairlj  named ; 
I  twain  eonneet  in  one,  bnt  70a 
Cut  those  whom  I  eonneet  in  two. 
Eaoh  legislator  aeems  to  say, 
What  yon  Connect  lent  away. 

Finn^  the  comedian,  issued  the  following  morceau  upon  the 
announcement  of  his  benefit  at  the  Tremont  Theatre,  Boston : — 

Like  a  grate  full  of  ooals  I  bam, 

A  greatf  full  house  to  see ; 
And  if  I  should  not  grateful  proTe» 

A  great  fool  I  should  be. 

A  FAIR  LETTER. 

The  following  letter  was  received  by  a  young  lady  at  the 
post-office  of  a  Fair  held  for  the  benefit  of  a  church  : — 

Fairest  of  the  Fair,  When  such  fair  beings  as  you  have 
the  y^tr-ness  to  honor  our  Fair  with  your  fair  presence,  it  is 
perfectly /aiV  that  you  should  receive  good  fare  from  the  fair 
conductors  of  thb  Fair^  and  indeed  it  would  be  very  un;/atr  if 
you  should  not  fare  well,  since  it  is  the  endeavor  of  those 
whose  wel^re  depends  upon  the  success  of  this  jPatV,  to  treat 
all  who  come  /atr-ly,  but  to  treat  with  especial  /atr-ness 
those  who  are  as  fair  as  yourself.  We  are  engaged  in  a  fair 
cause,  a  sacred  -m^x-fare;  that  is,  to  speak  without  un;/atV-ness, 
a  yns-fare,  not  against  the  fair  sex,  but  against  the  pockets 
of  their  beaux.  We  therefore  hope,  gentle  reader,  "  still  fair- 
est  found  where  all  is  fair^*  that  you  will  use  all  fair  exer- 
tions in  behalf  of  the  praiseworthy  ^f-fair  which  we  haveyatr*Iy 
undertaken.  If  you  take  sufficient  interest  in  our  wel^/are  to 
lend  your  fair  aid,  you  will  appear  fair-er  than  ever  in  our 
sight ;  we  will  never  treat  you  un-/aiV-ly,  and  when  you  with- 
draw the  light  of  your  fair  countenance  from  our  Fair^  we 
will  bid  you  a  kind  Fare-iteW, 


PARONOMASIA.  177 

The  following  was  written  on  the  oocasion  of  a  dael  in  Phila- 
delphia, Beveral  years  ago : — 

BchoU  and  Willing  did  engage 

In  dael  fierce  and  hot; 
Schott  shot  WUling  willingly. 

And  WiUing  he  shot  SohotL 

The  shot  Schott  shot  made  WUling  quite 

A  spectacle  to  see ; 
While  Willing's  willing  shot  went  right 

Through  Schott's  anatomy. 

WRITE   WRITTEN   RIGHT. 

WriU  we  know  is  written  right. 
When  we  see  it  written  write; 
Bat  when  we  see  it  written  wright. 
We  know  it  is  not  written  right: 
For  write,  to  hare  it  written  right. 
Most  not  be  written  right  or  wright, 
Nor  yet  should  it  be  written  rite; 
Bat  write,  for  so  'tis  written  right 

TURN  TO  THE  LEFT  AS  THE   (ENGLISH)  LAW  DIRE0T8. 

The  laws  of  the  Road  are  a  paradox  quite ; 

For  when  you  are  trarelling  along, 
If  you  keep  to  the  lbft  you're  sure  to  be  right, 

If  you  keep  to  the  right  yonll  be  wrong. 

I  cannot  bear  to  see  a  bear,  bear  down  upon  a  hare. 

When  bare  of  hair  he  strips  the  hare,  for  hare  I  cry,  "  forbear  r 

ON  THE  DEATH  OF  THE  EARL  OF  KILDARE. 
Who  kOUd  KUdare  t    Who  dand  Kildart  tohUlf 

Death  answers, — 

I  kilUd  JRldare,  and  dare  yu  whom  I  wilL 

A    Ca^ALECTIO  MONODT. 

A  eol  I  sing  of  famous  memory, 
Though  ocrfaehrestieal  my  song  may  be : 
In  a  small  garden  eoAicomb  she  lies. 
And  oa/aclysms  fill  her  comrades'  eyes; 
Borne  on  the  air,  the  eatacoustic  song 
Swells  with  her  rirtues'  catalogue  along; 
No  cataplasm  could  lengthen  out  her  years. 
Though  mourning  friends  shed  cataracts  of  tears. 


178  PABONOMASIA. 

Onoo  load  and  strong  her  eoieohut-like  Toioe, 

It  dwindled  to  a  calcftH's  squeaking  noise; 

Most  categorical  her  rirtues  shone. 

By  catenation  joined  each  one  to  one  p^ 

Bat  a  Tile  catchpoll  dog,  with  cmel  bite. 

Like  Co/ling's  cat,  her  strength  disabled  quite; 

Her  caterwaaling  pierced  the  hearj  air, 

As  eataphraots  their  arms  through  legions  bear; 

'Tis  rain  I  as  caterpillars  drag  away 

Their  lengths,  like  catUe  after  busy  day,  » 

She  lingering  died,  nor  left  in  kit  iot  the 

Embodiment  of  this  catastrophe. 

NOVEMBER. 

(The  hnmorous  lines  of  Hood  are  only  applicable  to  the 
Englbh  climate^  where  the  closing  month  of  autumn  is  syno- 
nymous with  fogS;  long  visages,  and  suicides.) 

No  sun — no  moon ! 

No  mom — no  noon — 
No  dawn — no  dusk — no  proper  time  of  day — 

No  sky — ^no  earthly  riew — 

No  distance  looking  blue- 
No  roads — no  streets — no  t'other  side  the  way — 

No  end  to  any  row — 

No  indication  where  the  crescents  | 

No  tops  to  any  steeple — 
No  recognition  of  familiar  people — 

No  courtesies  for  showing  'em— 

No  knowing  'em — 
No  travellers  at  all — no  locomotion— 
No  inkling  of  the  way — no  motion — 

'  No  go'  by  land  or  ocean — 

No  mail— no  post — 

No  news  from  any  foreign  coast- 
No    park — no  ring — no  afternoon  gentility— 

No  company — no  nobility — 
No  warmth — no  cheerAilness — no  healthftil  < 

No  comfortable  feel  in  any  member — 
No  shade — no  shine — no  butterflies — ^no  bees — 
No  fruits — ^no  flowers — no  leaves — no  birds— 

NO-YKMBKR ! 


The  name  of  that  monster  of  brutality,  Caliban,  in  Shakspeare's  Tempeity 
la  supposed  to  be  anagrammatic  of  Canibal,  the  old  mode  of  spelling  CannibaL 


PARONOMASIA  179 

A  SWARM   or  BEES. 

B  patient,  B  prayerful,  B  hamblo,  B  mild, 
B  wiM  aa  a  Solon,  B  meek  as  a  child ; 
B  studious,  B  thoughtful,  B  loring,  B  kind; 
B  sure  yon  make  matter  subserrient  to  mind. 
B  cautious,  B  prudent,  B  trustful,  B  true, 
B  courteous  to  all  men,  B  friendly  with  few. 
B  temperate  in  argument,  pleasure,  and  wine, 
B  careful  of  conduct,  of  money,  of  time. 
B  cheerful,  B  gratefUl,  B  hopeful,  B  firm, 
B  peaceful,  {»eneFolent,  willing  to  learn ; 
B  courageous,  B  gentle,  B  liberal,  B  Just, 
B  aspiring,  B  humble,  beewuo  thou  art  dust; 
B  penitent,  circumspect,  sound  in  the  faith, 
B  active,  deroted ;  B  faithful  till  death. 
B  honest,  B  holy,  transparent,  and  pure ; 
B  dependent,  B  Christ-like,  and  you'll  B  aeenrt 

THE   BEES  OF  THE  BIBLB. 

Be  kindly  affectioned  one  to  another. 

Be  sober,  and  watch  unto  prayer. 

Be  content  with  snoh  things  as  ye  hare. 

Be  strong  In  the  Lord. 

Be  eourteoua. 

Be  not  wise  in  your  own  conceits. 

Be  not  forgetful  to  entertain  strangers. 

Be  not  children  in  understanding. 

Be  followers  of  God,  as  dear  children. 

Be  not  weary  in  well-doing. 

Be  holy  in  all  manner  of  conversation. 

Be  patient  unto  the  coming  of  the  Lord. 

Be  clothed  with  humUity. 

franklin's  "re's." 
Dr.  Franklin,  in  England  in  the  jear  1775;  was  asked  by  a 
Qobleman  what  would  satisfy  the  Americans.      He  answered 
that  it  might  easily  be  comprised  in  a  few  "  Re's/'  which  he 
immediately  wrote  on  a  piece  of  paper,  thus : — 

Re-call  your  forces. 

Re-store  Castle  Willianu 

Re-pair  the  damage  done  to  Boston. 

Re-peal  your  unconstitutional  acts. 

Re-nounce  your  pretensions  to  taxes. 

Re-fund  the  duties  you  hare  extorted. 


180  PARONOMASIA. 

After  Uu»— 

Re-qairSy  and 

BeHseire  payment  for  the  deitrojed  tea,  with  the  Tolontaiy  graati  of  t 

Colonies;  and  then 
Re-Joice  in  a  happy 
Re-conciliation. 

THE  MIS8-N0MRR8. 
AfUr  ik9  manner  o/Boraee  Smith't  "Sumamea  ertr  go  hg  eomtraneg." 
Min  Brown  i>  exceeding] j  fair, 

Mias  \7hite  is  as  brown  as  a  beny ; 
Miia  Blaok  has  a  gray  head  of  hair. 

Miss  Orares  is  a  flirt  erer  merry ; 
Miss  Lightbody  weighs  sixteen  stone, 

Miss  Rich  scarce  can  muster  a  guinea ; 
Miss  Hare  wears  a  wig,  and  has  none. 

And  Miss  Solomon  is  a  sad  ninny  I 

Miss  MUdmay's  a  terrible  scold. 

Miss  DoTc's  ever  cross  and  contrary ; 
Miss  Young  is  now  grown  rery  old, 

And  Miss  Heayyside's  light  as  a  fairy! 
Miss  Short  is  at  least  fire  feet  ten. 

Miss  Noble's  of  humble  extraction ; 
Miss  LoTe  has  a  hatred  towards  men. 

Whilst  Miss  Still  is  forerer  in  aetton. 
Miss  Oreen  is  a  regular  bUs, 

Miss  Scarlet  looks  pale  as  a  lily; 
Miss  Violet  ne'er  shrmks  from  our  view. 

And  Miss  Wiseman  thinks  all  the  men  silly  I 
Miss  Ooodchild's  a  naughty  young  el^ 

Miss  Lyon's  from  terror  a  fool ; 
Miss  Mee's  not  at  aU  like  myte^. 

Miss  Carpenter  no  one  can  rule. 
Miss  Sadler  ne'er  mounted  a  horse. 

While  Miss  Groom  from  the  stable  will  nm| 
Miss  Eilmore  can't  look  on  a  corse. 

And  Miss  Aim  well  ne'er  levelled  a  gun; 
Miss  Oreathead  has  no  brains  at  all. 

Miss  Heartwell  is  ever  complaining; 
Miss  Dance  has  ne'er  been  at  a  ball, 

Over  hearts  Miss  Fairweather  likes  reigmng  t 
Miss  Wright,  she  is  constantly  wrong, 

Miss  Tickell,  alas !  is  not  fttnny ; 
Miss  Singer  ne'er  warbled  a  song, 

And  alas !  poor  Miss  Cash  has  no  money; 


PARONOMASIA.  181 

Miff  Hftteman  would  gire  all  she'f  worth. 

To  pnrohafe  a  man  to  her  liking ; 
Miff  Merry  if  fhooked  at  all  mirth, 

Miff  Boxer  the  men  don't  find  ttriking  I 

Miff  Bliff  doef  with  forrow  overflow, 

Miff  Hope  in  defpair  feekf  the  tomb ; 
Miff  Joy  fltill  anticipatef  wo, 

And  Miff  Chari^f  nerer  "  at  home  !* 
Miff  Hamlet  reaidef  in  the  city, 

The  nerref  of  Miff  Standfaft  are  fhaken; 
Miff  Prettyman'f  bean  if  not  pretty. 

And  Miff  FaithM  her  lore  haf  forfakan  ! 

Miff  Porter  defpifef  all  froth. 

Miff  Scalef  they'U  make  toatt,  I  am  thinking; 
Miff  Meekly  if  apt  to  be  wroth. 

Miff  Lof^  to  meanneea  if  finking; 
tfiff  Seymore'f  af  blind  af  a  bat, 

Miff  Laft  at  a  party  if  firft; 
If  iff  Brindle  diflikef  a  f  triped  cat, 

And  Miff  Waterf  haa  alwayf  a  thlrf t ! 
Miff  Knight  if  now  changed  into  Day, 

Miff  Day  wantf  to  marry  a  Knight; 
Miff  Pmdence  haa  Jnft  ran  away, 

And  Miff  Steady  affifted  her  flight; 
Bat  fuoceff  to  the  fair,— one  and  all ! 

No  miff-apprehenfionf  be  making; — 
Though  wrong  the  dear  fex  to  miju-call, 

Thero'f  no  harm,  I  fhould  hope,  in  uiss-takixu. 

CROOKED  COINCIDENCES. 

A  pamphlet  published  in  the  year  1703  has  the  following 
strange  title:  '^The  Btformiiy  of  Sin  cured;  a  Sermon 
preached  at  St.  Michael's,  CroohtdAx[i%  before  the  Prince  of 
Orange,  by  the  Rev.  J.  CrookshanlM.  Sold  by  Matthew 
Denton,  at  the  Crooked  Billet  near  Crtppk-ggie,  and  by  all 
other  booksellers/'  The  words  of  the  text  are,  '^  Every 
crooked  path  shall  he  made  ttratgJU;*'  and  the  prince  before 
whom  it  was  preached  was  deformed  in  person. 

THE  COURT-rOOL's  PUN   ON   ARCHBISHOP  LAUD. 

Great  praife  to  Ood,  and  little  Laud  to  the  devil. 
16 


182    ENGLISH  WORDS  AND  FORMS  Or  EXPRESSION. 


IBnglisi)  Wiotti^  anli  Jporms  of  iBxpresssUin. 

Dictionary  English  is  something  very  different  not  only 
from  common  colloquial  English,  bat  even  i^m  that  of  ordinaiy 
written  composition.  Inst^ui  of  about  forty  thousand  words, 
there  is  probably  no  single  author  in  the  language  from  whose 
works,  however  voluminous,  so  many  as  ten  thousand  words 
could  be  collected.  Of  the  forty  thousand  words  there  are 
certainly  many  more  than  one-half  that  are  only  employed,  if 
they  are  ever  employed  at  all,  on  the  rarest  occasions.  We  should 
ba  surprised  to  find,  if  we  counted  them,  with  how  small  a 
number  of  words  we  manage  to  express  all  that  we  have  to  say, 
either  with  our  lips  or  with  the  pen.  Our  common  literary 
English  probably  hardly  amounts  to  ten  thousand  words;  our 
oommon  spoken  English  hardly  to  five  thousand. 

Odd  words  are  to  be  found  in  the  dictionaries.  Why  they  are 
kept  there  no  one  knows ;  but  what  man  in  his  senses  would  use 
such  words  as  zythepsaiy  for  a  brewhouse,  and  symologist  for  a 
brewer ;  would  talk  of  a  stormy  day  as  procellous  and  himself  as 
madefied ;  of  his  long-legged  son  as  increasing  in  procerity  but 
sadly  marcid ;  of  having  met  with  such  procacity  &om  such  a 
one )  of  a  bore  as  a  macrologist ;  of  an  aged  horse  as  macrobi- 
otic ;  of  important  business  as  moliminous,  and  his  daughter's 
necklace  as  moniliform ;  of  some  one's  talk  as  meracious,  and 
lament  his  last  night's  nimiety  of  wine  at  that  dapatical  feast, 
whence  he  was  taken  by  ereption  f  Open  the  dictionary  at  any 
page,  and  you  v^Jl  find  a  host  of  these  words. 

By  a  too  ready  adoption  of  foreign  words  into  the  currency  of 
the  English  language,  we  are  in  danger  of  losing  much  of  its 
radical  strength  and  historical  significance.  Marsh  has  compared 
the  parable  of  the  man  who  built  his  house  upon  the  sand,  as 
given  by  Matthew  and  Luke.  Matthew  uses  the  plain  Saxon 
English.    The  learned  Evangelist^  Luke,  employed  a  Latinised 


KNQLI8H  WORDS  AND  FORMS  OF  SXPR188I0M.       183 

dicdonaiy.  *^  Now/'  he  says,  *'  oompare  the  two  paasageB  and 
say  whidi  to  eveiy  £n^h  ear,  is  the  most  impresBiYe : " 

"And  the  rain  descended,  and  the  floods  came,  and  the  winds 
hiew,  and  beat  upon  that  house,  and  it  fell,  and  great  was  the  fall 
of  it." — Matihetc. 

*' Against  which  the  stream  did  beat  vehemently,  and  imme- 
diately it  fell;  and  the  ruin  of  that  house  was  great" — Luke, 

There  can  scarcely  be  a  difference  of  opinion  as  to  the 
feladTe  force  and  beauty  of  the  two  vendons,  and  consequently 
we  find,  that  while  that  of  Matthew  has  become  proverbial,  the 
narrative  of  Liike  is  seldom  or  never  quoted. 

Trench  says  that  the  Anglo-Saxon  is  not  so  much  one  ele- 
ment of  the  English  language,  as  the  foundation  of  it — the  basis. 
AU  its  joints,  its  whole  arttculafion,  its  sinevrs  and  its  ligaments, 
the  great  body  of  articles,  pronouns,  conjunctions,  prepositions, 
numerals,  auxiliary  verbs,  aU  smaller  words  which  serve  to  knit 
together  and  bind  the  larger  into  sentences,  these — not  to  speak 
of  the  grammatical  structure  of  the  language — are  exclusively 
Saxon.  The  Latin  may  contribute  its  tale  of  bricks,  yea,  of 
goodly  and  polished  hewn  stones  to  the  spiritual  building,  but 
the  mortar,  with  all  that  holds  and  binds  these  together,  and 
constitutes  them  into  a  house,  is  Saxon  throughout."  As  proof 
positive  of  the  soundness  of  the  above  affirmation,  the  test  is 
submitted  that — **  you  can  write  a  sentence  without  Latin,  but 
you  cannot  without  Saxon."  The  words  of  the  Lord's  Prayer 
are  almost  aU  Saxon.  Our  good  old  &mily  Bible  is  a  capital 
standard  of  it,  and  has  done  more  than  any  other  book  for  the 
conservation  of  the  purity  of  our  language.  Our  best  writers, 
particularly  those  of  Queen  Anne's  time, — Addison,  Steele, 
Swift,  &c., — were  distiDguished  by  their  use  of  simple  Saxon. 

SOURGSS  OF  THE  LANGUAGE. 

Some  years  ago,  a  gentleman,  afler  carefully  examining  the 
folio  edition  of  Johnson's  Dictionary,  formed  the  following  table 
of  English  words  derived  from  other  languages  : — 


184        ENQLISH  WOBDB  AND  FORMS  OV  EXPRESSION. 


Latin 6,732 

French 4,812 

Sftxon^ 1,665 

Greek 1,148 

Dateh 691 

Italian 211 

German 116 

Welsh 95 

Danish 75 

Spanish 56 

loelandio 50 


Swedish 34 

Gothic 31 

Hebrew 16 

Teutonic 15 

Arabic 13 

Irish 6 

Runic 4 

Flemish 4 

Erse. 4 

Syriao 3 

Scottish 3 


Irish  and  Erse 2 

Turkish 2 

Irish  and  Scottish.... 

Portuguese 

Persian 

Frisi 

Persic 

Uncertain 


Total 15,784 


NOUNS  OF   MULTITUDE. 

A  foreigner  looking  at  a  picture  of  a  number  of  vessels,  said, 
**  See  what  a  flock  of  ships."  He  was  told  that  a  flock  of  ships 
was  called  a  fleet,  and  that  a  fleet  of  sheep  was  called  a  flock. 
And  it  was  added,  for  his  guidance,  in  mastering  the  intricacies 
of  our  language,  that  a  flock  of  girls  is  called  a  bevy,  that  a 
bevy  of  wolves  is  called  a  pack,  and  a  pack  of  thieves  is  called 
a  gang,  and  that  a  gang  of  angels  is  called  a  host,  and  that  a 
host  of  porpoises  is  called  a  shoal,  and  a  shoal  of  bufialoes  is 
called  a  herd,  and  a  herd  of  children  is  called  a  troop,  and  a 
troop  of  partridges  is  called  a  covey,  and  a  covey  of  beauties  is 
called  a  galaxy,  and  a  galaxy  of  ruffians  is  called  a  horde,  and  a 
horde  of  rubbish  is  called  a  heap,  and  a  heap  of  oxen  is  called  a 
drove,  and  a  drove  of  blackguards  is  called  a  mob,  and  a  mob 
of  whales  is  called  a  school,  and  a  school  of  worshippers  is  called 
a  congregation,  and  a  congregation  of  engineers  is  called  a  corps, 
and  a  corps  of  robbers  is  called  a  band,  and  a  band  of  locusts  is 
called  a  swarm,  and  a  swarm  of  people  is  called  a  crowd. 


DISRAELIAN  ENGLISH. 

Mr.  Disraeli  gives  us  some  queer  English  in  his  novel  of 
Lothaivj  as  may  be  seen  in  the  following  exan^les: — ^^He 
guarded  over  Lothair's  vast  inheritance;"  '^Lothair  observed 
on"  a  lady's  singing;  "of  simple  but  distinguished  mien,  with  a 
countenance  naturally  pale,  though  somewhat  bronzed  by  a  life 
of  air  and  exercise,  and  a  proi^ion  of  dark,  auburn  hair;"  "he 


ENGLISH  WO&DS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION.        185 

engaged  a  vehicle  and  ordered  to  be  driven  to  Leicester  Sqnare^ " 
"  he  pointed  to  an  individual  seated  in  the  centre  of  the  table;" 
"  their  mutual  ancestors ;"  *^  Is  there  anything  in  the  Tenebros 
why  I  ought  not  to  be  present  ?  " ;  "  tkattghts  which  madu  him 
ttncongcious  how  long  had  elapsed ; "  "  with  no  companions  than 
the  wounded  near  them;''  ^*The  surgeon  was  sitting  by  her 
side,  occasionally  wiping  the  slight  foam  from  her  brow."  We 
have  heard  of  people  foaming  at  the  mouth,  but  never  before  of 
a  lady  foaming  at  the  brow. 

"ye"  FOR  "THE." 
Ye  is  sometimes  used  for  the  in  old  books  wherein  the  is 
the  more  usual  form,  on  account  of  the  difficulties  experienced 
by  the  printers  in  "  spacing  out."  When  pressed  for  room  they 
put  ye;  when  they  had  plenty  of  room  they  put  the.  Many 
people  in  reading  old  books  pronounce  the  abbreviation  ye.  But 
the  proper  pronunciation  is  th^,  for  the  y  is  only  a  corruption 
of  the  old  thorn-letter,  or  symbol  for  th. 

ITS. 

His  is  the  genitive  (or  as  we  say,  possesave)  of  he,  (ht^s, — 
his,')  and  it  or  hit,  as  it  was  long  written,  is  the  neuter  of  Ae, 
the  final  t  being  the  sign  of  the  neuter.  The  introduction  of 
its,  as  the  neuter  genitive  instead  of  his,  arose  from  a  mis- 
conception, similar  to  that  which  would  have  arisen  had  the 
Romans  introduced  illuditts  as  the  neuter  genitive  of  ille,  instead 
of  illius.  Its  very  rarely  occurs  in  our  authorized  version  of  the 
Bible,  his  or  fier  being  used  instead— -occurs  but  a  few  times  in 
all  Shakspeare — was  unknown  to  Ben  Jonson — was  not  admitted 
into  his  poems  by  Milton — and  did  not  come  into  common  use 
until  sanctioned  by  Dryden. 

THAT. 

The  use  of  the  word  That  in  the  foUowing  examples  is 
strictly  in  accordance  with  grammatical  rules: — 

16* 


186    ENGLISH  WORDS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION. 

The  gentleman  said,  in  speaking  of  the  word  that^  that  that 
that  that  that  lady  parsed,  was  not  that  that  that  that  gentleman 
requested  her  to  analyze. 

Now,  that  is  a  word  that  may  often  be  joined, 
For  that  that  may  be  doabled  is  clear  to  the  mind; 
And  that  thuU  that  is  right,  is  as  plain  to  the  view. 
As  that  th€a  that  that  we  use,  is  rightly  used  too, 
And  that  that  that  that  that  line  has  in  it,  is  right— 
In  aocordonce  with  grammar — ^is  plain  in  our  sight 

I    SAY. 

A  gentleman  who  was  in  the  habit  of  interlarding  his  dis- 
oonrse  with  the  expression  *^  I  say/'  having  been  informed  by  a 
friend  that  a  certain  individual  had  made  some  ill-natured  re- 
marks upon  this  peculiarity,  took  the  opportunity  of  addressing 
him  in  the  following  amusing  style  of  rebuke : — ^^  I  say,  sir,  I 
hear  say  you  say  I  say  '  I  sa/  at  every  word  I  say.  Now,  sir, 
although  I  know  I  say  *  I  say'  at  every  word  I  say,  still  I  say, 
air,  it  is  not  for  you  to  say  I  say  ^  I  say'  at  every  word  I  say." 

PATH-OLOGY. 

There  once  resided  in  Ayrshire  a  man  who,  like  Leman,  pro- 
posed to  write  an  Etymological  Dictionary  of  the  English  lan- 
guage. Being  asked  what  he  understood  the  word  pathology 
to  mean,  he  answered,  with  great  readiness  and  confidence, 
"Why,  the  art  of  road-making,  to  be  sure." 

THE  PRONUNCIATION  OF  OUGH. 

The  difficulty  of  applying  rules  to  the  pronunciation  of  our 
language  may  be  illustrated  in  two  lines,  where  the  combination 
of  the  letters  ough  is  pronounced  in  no  less  than  seven  different 
ways,  viz.:  as  o,  vff,  off,  up,  ow,  oo,  and  ock : — 

Though  the  tough  cough  and  hicoough  plough  me  through. 
O'er  life's  dark  lough  my  course  I  still  pursne. 


BNaLISH  WORDS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION.        187 

The  followiiig  attempts  to  show  the  sound  of  ough^  final,  are 
ingenious: — 

TKovgh  from  rough  eoagh  or  kieeough  tree, 

That  man  has  pain  enmtgh 
Whose  wounds  through  plough,  sunk  in  a  tlough. 

Or  lough  begin  to  tlough, 

'Tis  not  an  easy  task  to  show. 
How  0,  u,  g,  h,  soond ;  since  though. 
An  Irish  lough,  an  English  tlough. 
And  cough,  and  hiccough,  all  allow 
Differ  as  mnoh  as  tough  and  through. 
There  seems  no  reason  wt^  thej  do. 

"Hnsband/'  says  Joan,  "'tis  plain  enongh 
That  Roger  loves  our  daughter ; 
And  Bettj  loves  him  too,  although 
She  treats  his  suit  with  laughter. 

"For  Roger  always  hems  and  coughs. 
While  on  the  field  he's  ploughing; 
Then  strives  to  see  between  the  boughs. 
If  Betty  heeds  his  oonghing. 


The  following  jeu  cT esprit,  entitled  "A  Literary  Squabble 
on  the  pronunciation  of  Monckton  Milnes's  Title/'  is  stated 
to  have  been  the  production  of  Lord  Palmerston : — 

The  Alphabet  rejoioed  to  hear, 

That  Monckton  Milnes  was  made  a  peer; 

For  in  the  present  world  of  letters, 

But  few,  if  any,  were  his  betters. 

So  an  address,  by  acclamation. 

They  voted,  of  congratulation. 

And  0  U  G  H  T  and  N 

Were  chosen  to  take  up  the  pen. 

Possessing  each  an  interest  vital 

In  the  new  Peer's  baronial  title. 

'Twas  done  in  language  terse  and  telling. 

Perfect  in  grammar  and  in  spelling. 

But  when  'twas  read  aloud— -oh,  mercy ! 

There  sprung  up  such  a  oontroversy 


188         ENGLISH  WOEDS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION. 

About  the  trae  pronnnoiation 

Of  said  baronial  appellation. 

The  Towels  0  and  U  averred 

They  were  entitled  to  be  heard. 

The  oonsonants  denied  the  claim. 

Instating  that  they  mute  became. 

Johnson  and  Walker  were  applied  to, 

Sheridan,  Bailey,  Webster,  tried  too; 

But  all  in  rain — for  each  picked  out 

A  word  that  left  the  case  in  doubt 

0,  looking  round  upon  them  all, 

Cried,  "If  it  be  correct  to  call 

THROUGH  throo, 

HOUGH  must  be  Hoo; 

Therefore  there  must  be  no  dispute  on 

The  question,  we  should  say  Lord  Hooton," 

U  then  did  speak,  and  sought  to  show 

He  should  be  doubled,  and  not  0, 

For  sure  if  ought  and  awt,  then  noug}it  on 

Earth  could  the  title  be  but  Hawton. 

H,  on  the  other  hand,  said  he. 

In  cough  and  trotigk,  stood  next  to  G, 

And  like  an  F  was  then  looked  oft  on, 

Which  made  him  think  it  should  be  ffoflon. 

But  G  corrected  H,  and  drew 

Attention  other  cases  to : 

Loughf  Bough  and  Chough,  more  than  enough 

To  prore  0  U  G  H  spelled  uff, 

And  growled  out  in  a  sort  of  gruff  tone 

They  must  pronounce  the  title  Hu/ton. 

N  said  emphatically  No; 

For  D  0  U  G  H  is  Doh, 

And  though  (look  there  again)  that  stuff 

At  sea  for  fun,  they  nickname  Duff, 

He  should  propose  they  took  a  rote  on 

The  question  should  it  not  be  Hoton  f 

Besides,  in  French  'twould  hare  such  foro«^ 

A  Lord  must  be  haut  ton,  of  course. 

High  and  more  high  contention  rose, 

From  words  they  almost  came  to  blows, 

Till  S,  as  yet,  who  had  not  spoke, 

And  dearly  lored  a  little  joke, 

Put  in  hik  word,  and  said,  "  Look  here. 

Plough  in  this  row  must  have  a  9hart/* 

At  this  atrocious  pun,  each  page 


ENGLISH   WORDS  AND  FORMS  Or  EXPRESSION.       189 

Of  Johnson  whiter  grew  with  rage. 
Bailey  looked  desperately  cnt  up. 
And  Sheridan  completely  shut  up. 
Webster,  who  is  no  idle  talker. 
Made  a  sign  signifying  Walker. 
While  Walker,  who  had  been  used  badly, 
«  Shook  his  old  dirty  dog-ears  sadly. 

But  as  we  find  in  prose  or  rhyme, 
A  joke,  made  happily  in  time, 
Howerer  poor,  will  often  tend 
The  hottest  argument  to  end, 
And  smother  anger  in  a  laagh. 
So  8  succeeded  with  his  chaff. 
Containing,  as  it  did,  some  wheat. 
In  calming  this  fierce  rerbal  heat 
Authorities  were  all  conflicting, 
And  S  there  was  no  contradicting. 
P  L  0  U  G  H  was  Piow 
Even  enough  was  called  enow. 
And  no  one  who  preferred  enough 
Would  dream  of  saying  "  Speed  the  Fluff." 
So  they  considered  it  was  wise 
With  S  to  make  a  compromise. 
To  leare  no  loop  to  hang  a  doubt  on 
By  giving  three  cheers  for  Lord  Houghton  {Howton), 

EXCISE. 

The  following  curious  document  gives  the  opinion  of  Lord 
Mansfield,  when  Attorney-General,  upon  Dr.  Johnson's  defini- 
tion of  the  word  Excise:  — 

Case. 
Mr.  Samuel  Johnson  has  lately  published  a  book,  entitled  A 
Dictionary  of  the  Engluh  Langvage,  in  which  the  words  are 
dedtuxdfrom  their  originals,  and  illustrated  in  their  different 
signijlcations  hy  examples  from  the  best  writers.  To  which  are 
prefixed  a  history  of  the  Language,  and  an  English  grammar. 

Under  the  title  "  Excise  "  are  the  following  words : — 

Excise,  n.  a.  (aecy»  Dutch ;  excimm,  Latin,)  a  hat«fnl  lax  levied  npon  commodities 
and  a4iadged  not  by  the  common  Judges  of  property,  but  urretckes  hired  by  those  to 
whom  EceiM  is  paid. 


190        ENQLISH  WORDS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION. 

The  people  should  pay  a  ratable  tax  for  their  sheep,  and  an 
Excite  for  every  thing  which  they  should  eat — Hatward. 

Ambitious  now  to  take  exeUe 

Of  a  more  fragrant  paradise. — Glbyelaitd. 


With  hundred  rows  of  teeth  the  shark  exceeds, 

And  on  all  trades,  like  Cassowar,  she  feeds, — Mabybl. 

Can  hire  large  houses  and  oppress  the  poor 
By  fanned  Excise. — Dbtdxn,  Jwoenal,  Sat,  8, 

The  author's  definition  being  observed  by  the  Gonunissioners 
of  Excise,  they  desire  the  favor  of  your  opinion : 

Qu. — ^Whether  it  will  not  be  considered  as  a  libel;  and,  if 
so,  whether  it  is  not  proper  to  proceed  against  the  anthor,  print- 
ers, and  publishers  thereof,  or  any  and  which  of  them,  by  in- 
formation or  how  otherwise? 

Opinion. 
I  am  of  opinion  that  it  is  a  libel ;  but,  under  all  the  circum- 
stances, I  should  think  it  better  to  give  him  an  opportunity  of 
altering  his  definition )  and,  in  case  he  don't,  threaten  him  with 

an  information.  -^  Murray. 

29th  Not.  1755. 

PONTIPP. 

Mr.  Longfellow,  in  his  Golden  Legend^  thus  refers  to  the 
derivation  of  this  word  from  pom  (a  bridge)  and/ocere  (to 
make) : — 

Well  has  the  name  of  Pontifex  been  given 

Unto  the  Church's  head,  as  the  chief  builder 

And  architect  of  the  invisible  bridge 

That  leads  from  earth  to  heaven. 

ROUGH. 
Mr.  Motley,  in  his  History  of  the  United  Netherlands,  IV. 
138,  thus  ascribes  the  use  of  this  word  to  Queen  Elizabeth,  of 
England,  in  her  last  illness : — 


SN0LI8H  WORDS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION.    191 

The  great  qneen,  moody,  despairing,  dying,  wrapt  in  profonndest 
thought,  with  eyea  fixed  upon  the  ground  or  already  gasing  into  infinity 
was  besought  by  the  eonnsellors  around  her  to  name  the  man  to  whom  she 
ehose  that  the  erown  should  devolre. 

"  Not  to  a  Rough,"  said  Elizabeth,  Bententioasly  and  grimly. 

These  particulars  are  apparently  given  on  the  aathoiily  of 
the  Italian  Secretary,  Scaramelli,  whose  language  is  quoted  in  a 
foot-note,  and  who  says  that  the  word  Rough  "  in  lingua  inglose 
dgnifica  persona  bassa  e  vile/' 

Charles  Dickens  said,  "  I  entertain  so  strong  an  objection  to 
the  euphonious  softening  of  ruffian  into  rough,  which  has  lately 
become  popular,  that  I  restore  the  right  word  to  the  heading  of 
ibis  paper."  (^The  Ruffian,  by  the  Uncommercial  Traveler,  All 
the  Year  Round,)  ^'  Lately  popular"  does  not  mean  popular  for 
two  hundred  and  eighty  years  past,  A  word  that  has  escaped 
the  notice  of  the  Glossarists  cannot  have  been  in  use  early  in 
the  seyenteenth  century.  That  it  should  have  been  used  in  its 
modem  sense  by  Queen  Elizabeth,  passes  all  bounds  of  belief 
With  all  her  faxjlia  she  did  not  make  silly  unmeaning  remarks ; 
and  it  would  have  been  extremely  silly  in  her  to  say  she  did  not 
wish  a  low  ruffian  to  succeed  her  on  the  throne.  If  she  uttered 
a  word  having  the  same  sound,  it  might  possibly  have  been  ruff. 
The  "ruff,"  though  worn  by  men  of  the  upper  class,  was  in 
Queen  Elizabeth's  time  an  especially  female  article  of  dress,  and 
the  queen  might  have  said,  "I  will  have  no  ruff  to  succeed  me," 
just  as  now-a-days  one  might  say,  ''I  will  have  no  petticoat 
government"  We  want  better  authority  than  that  of  Scaia- 
melli  b^ore  we  can  believe  that  Elizabeth  used  either  the  word 
rough  or  ruff,  when  consulted  as  to  her  wishes  respecting  her 
saooesBor. 

NOT  AMERICANISMS. 

In  Bartlett's  Dictionary  the  term  "  stocking'/eet "  is  given  as 
an  Americanism.  But  the  following  quotation  from  Thackeray's 
Newcomes  (vol.  L  ch.  viii.)  shows  that  this  is  an  error : — 


192         ENGLISH  WORDS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION. 

''Binnie  found  the  Colonel  in  his  sitting-room  arrayed  in  what  are  called 
in  Scotland  his  stocking-feet." 

Professor  Tyndall,  at  the  Jewell  banquet  ^ven  in  his  honor 
by  the  citizens  of  New  York,  prior  to  his  departure,  in  referring 
to  his  successful  lecture-course  in  the  United  States,  said  he  had 
had — ^to  quote  his  words — "  what  you  Americans  call  *  a  good 
time.'*' 

But  this  expression  is  not  an  Americanism.  It  is  used  by 
Dean  Swift  in  his  letter  to  Stella,  (Feb.  24, 1710-11);  "  I  hope 
Mrs.  Wells  had  a  good  time." 

That  not  very  elegant  adjective  huUt^,  though  found  in  Bart- 
lett,  and  used  by  Washington  Irving  cannot  be  claimed  as  an 
Americanism.     Friar  Tuck  sings,  in  Scott's  Ivanhoe : — 

**  Gome  troll  the  hrown  howl  to  me,  hnlly  boy. 
Come  troll  the  brown  bowl  to  me." 

But  to  go  ftirther  back,  we  find  it  in  the  burden  of  an  old 
three-part  song,  "We  be  three  poor  Mariners,''  in  Kavenscroft's- 
Deuteromeliay  1609 : 

**  Shall  we  go  dance  the  round,  the  round. 
Shall  we  go  dance  the  round ; 
And  he  that  is  a  bully  boy, 
Come  pledge  me  on  the  ground." 

One  of  the  words  which  the  English  used  to  class  among 
Americanisms — ignorant  that  it  was  older  and  better  English 
than  their  own  usage — ^was  Fall,  used  as  the  name  of  the  third 
of  the  seasons.  The  English,  corrupted  by  the  Johnsonese  of 
the  Hanoverian  reigns,  call  it  by  the  Latinism,  Autumn.  But 
the  other  term,  in  general  use  on  this  side  of  the  Atlantic,  is  the 
word  by  which  all  the  old  writers  of  the  language  know  it. 
"  The  hole  yere,"  says  «cholarly  Roger  Ascham  in  his  Toxo- 
philusj  "is  (Uvided  into  iiii.  partes.  Spring  tyme,  Sommer,  Faule 
of  the  leafe,  &  Winter,  whereof  the  hole  winter  for  the  rough- 
nesse  of  it,  is  deane  taken  away  from  shoting :  except  it  be  one 
day  amonges  xx.,  or  one  yeare  amongcs  xi." 


ENGLISH  WORDS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION.        193 

This  statement,  by  the  way,  that  exceptionally  mild  winters 
were  in  the  ratio  of  one  to  eleven,  is  worth  noting  with 
reference  to  the  recent  announcement  of  science  that  the  spots 
on  the  son  have  an  eleven-year  period  of  mftTimnm  frequency. 

NO  LOVE  LOST  BETWEEN   THEM. 

In  the  ordinaiy  acceptation  of  the  words,  "  No  love  was  lost 
between  the  two/'  we  are  led  to  infer  that  the  two  were  on 
veiy  unfriendly  terms,  But  in  the  ballad  of  The  Babes  in  the 
Wood,  as  given  in  Percy  s  ReligueSy  occur  the  following  lines, 
which  convey  the  contraiy  idea : — 

No  love  between  this  two  was  lost, 

Each  was  to  other  kind : 
In  love  they  lived,  in  love  they  died. 

And  left  two  babes  behind. 

THE  FORLORN  HOPE. 

Military  and  civil  writers  of  the  present  day  seem  quite  ignorant 
of  the  true  meaning  of  the  words  forlorn  hope.  The  adjective 
has  nothing  to  do  with  despair,  nor  the  substantive  with  the 
"charmer  which  lingers  still  behind ; "  there  was  no  such  poetical 
depth  in  the  words  as  originally  used.  Every  corps  marching 
in  an  enemy's  country  had  a  small  body  of  men  at  the  head 
(haupt  or  Jiope)  of  the  advanced  guard ;  and  which  was  termed 
the /or^orne  hope  (lorn  being  here  but  a  termination  similar  to 
ward  in  forward,^  while  another  small  body  at  the  head  of 
the  read-guard  was  caUed  the  rere-lom  hope.  A  reference  to 
Johnson's  Dictionary  shows  that  civilians  were  misled  as  early 
as  the  time  of  Dryden  by  the  mere  sound  of  a  technical  militaiy 
phrase;  and,  in  process  of  time,  even  military  men  forgot  the 
true  meaning  of  the  words.  And  thus  we  easily  trace  the  foun- 
dation of  an  error  to  which  we  are  indebted  for  Byron's  beautiful 
line: — 

The  fall  of  hope,  misnamed  forlorn. 

N  17 


194        ENGLISH  WORDS  AND   FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION. 

QUIZ. 

Tliis  word,  which  is  only  in  vulgar  or  colloquial  use,  and 
which  some  of  the  lexicographers  have  attemped  to  trace  to 
learned  roots,  originated  in  a  joke.  Daly,  the  manager  of  a 
Duhlin  play-house,  wagered  that  a  word  of  no  meaning  should 
he  the  common  talk  and  puzzle  of  the  city  in  twenty-four  hours. 
In  the  course  of  that  time  the  letters  quiz  were  chalked  on 
all  the  walls  of  Dublin  with  an  effect  that  won  the  wager. 

Tennyson's  English. 
Probably  no  poet  ever  more  thoroughly  comprehended  the 
value  of  words  in  metrical  composition  than  Mr.  Tennyson,  but 
he  has  issued  a  new  coinage  which  is  not  pure.  Compound 
epithets  are  modelled  after  the  Greek  or  revived  from  the  un- 
critical Elizabethan  era.  Thus,  where  we  should  naturally  say 
"  The  bee  is  cradled  in  the  lily,"  Mr.  Tennyson  writes,  "  The  bee 
is  lily-cradled."  When  a  man's  nose  is  broken  at  the  bridge 
or  a  lady's  turns  up  at  the  tip,  the  one  is  said  to  be  "  a  nose 
bridge-broken,"  and  the  other  (with.much  gallantry)  to  be  "tip- 
tilted,  like  the  petal  of  a  flower." 

The  movement  of  the  metre  again  is  very  peculiar.  Discard- 
ing Milton's  long  and  complex  periods,  Mr.  Tennyson  has  re- 
stored blank  verse  to  an  apparently  simple  rhythm.  But  this 
simplicity  is  in  fact  the  result  of  artifice,  and,  under  every  variety 
of  movement,  the  ear  detects  the  recurrence  of  a  set  type. 
One  of  the  poet's  favorite  devices  is  to  pause  on  a  monosyllable 
at  the  beginning  of  a  line,  and  this  affect  is  repeated  so  often 
as  to  remind  the  reader  of  Euripides  and  his  unhappy  "oil 
flask"  in  The  Frogs.     Take  the  following  instances: — 

And  the  strange  sound  of  an  adulterous  raoe. 

Against  the  iron  grating  of  her  cell 

Beat. 

A  sound 

As  of  a  silver  horn  aoross  the  hills 

Blown. 
And  then  the  musie  faded,  and  the  Grail 

Passed. 
His  eyes  became  so  like  her  own  they  seemed 

Hers. 


ENGLISH  WORDS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION.        195 
"THAT   MINE  ADVERSARY   HAD   WRITTEN   A   BOOK.'' 

This  passage  firom  Job  xxxi.  35,  is  fi^uentlj  misapplied, 
being  interpreted  as  if  it  had  reference  to  a  book  or  writing  as 
commonly  understood.  It  means  rather,  according  to  Gksenins, 
a  charge  or  accusation.  Pierius  makes  it  ^Mibellmn  accusa- 
tionis,"  and  Oiotios,  "  scriptam  flccusationem  *'  Scott  expresses 
this  in  his  Commentary : — 

"Job  challenged  his  adversary,  or  accuser,  to  produce  a  libel 
or  written  indictment  against  him :  he  was  confident  that  it 
would  prove  no  disgrace  to  him,  but  an  honor;  as  every  article 
would  be  disproved,  and  the  reverse  be  manifested." 

Other  commentators  understand  it  as  meaning  a  record  of 
Job's  life,  or  of  his  sufferings.  Coverdale  translates : — "  And 
let  him  that  my  contrary  party  sue  me  with  a  lybell."  In  the 
Genevan  version  it  is,  '^  Though  mine  adversarie  should  write  a 
book  against  mc."  In  the  Bishop's  Bible,  1595,  "Though 
mine  adversarie  write  a  book  against  me.*'  The  meaning  seems 
to  have  become  obscured  in  our  version  by  retaining  the  English 
book  instead  of  the  Latin  libel,  but  omitting  the  words  in  italics, 
"against  me." 

ECCENTRIC  ETYMOLOGIES. 

To  trace  the  changes  of  form  and  meaning  which  many  of 
the  words  of  our  language  have  undergone  is  no  easy  task. 
There  are  words  as  current  with  us  as  with  our  forefathers,  the 
significance  of  which,  as  we  use  them,  is  very  different  from 
that  of  their  primitive  use.  And,  in  many  instances,  they  have 
wandered,  by  courses  more  or  less  tortuous,  so  far  firom  their 
original  meaning  as  to  make  it  almost  impossible  to  follow  the 
track  of  divergence.  Hence,  it  is  easy  to  understand  why  it 
has  been  said  that  the  etymologist,  to  be  successful,  must  have 
"an  instinct  like  the  special  capabilities  of  the  pointer."  But 
there  are  derivations  which  are  only  revealed  by  accident,  or 
stumbled  upon  in  unexpected  ways,  and  which,  in  the  regular 


196        ENGLISH   WORDS  AND   FORMS  OF   EXPRESSION. 

course  of  patient  search,  would  never  have  been  elicited.     The 
following  illustrative  selections  will  interest  the  general  reader. 

Bombastic. — This  adjective  has  an  odd  derivation.  Origin- 
ally bombast  (from  the  Latin  bombax,  cotton)  meant  nothing 
but  cotton  wadding,  used  for  filling  or  stuffing.  Shakspeare 
employs  it  in  this  sense  in  Loves  Labor  Lost,  v.  2. 

As  bombast  and  as  living  to  the  time. 

Decker,  in  his  Sa/i/romastix,  says,  "You  shall  swear  not  to 
bombast  out  a  new  play  with  the  old  linings  of  jests."  And 
Guazzo,  Cvoile  Conversation,  1591, — "  Studie  should  rather 
make  him  leane  and  thinne,  and  pull  out  the  bombast  of  his 
corpulent  doublet." 

Hence,  by  easy  transition  fit)m  the  falseness  of  padding  or 
puffing  out  a  figure,  bombast  came  to  signify  swelling  preten- 
tiousness of  speech  and  conduct  as  an  adapted  meaning,*  and 
gradually  this  became  the  primary  and  only  sense. 

Bvxom. — This  word  is  simply  bow-some  or  bough-some,  t.  c, 
that  which  readily  bows,  or  bends,  or  yields  like  the  boughs  of 
a  tree.  No  longer  ago  than  when  Milton  wrote  bouglisome, 
which  as  gh  in  English  began  to  lose  its  guttural  sound, — that 
of  the  letter  chi  in  Greek, —  came  to  be  written  hvxom,  meant 
simply  yielding,  and  was  of  general  application. 

*'■  and,  this  onoe  known,  shall  soon  return. 


And  bring  ye  to  the  place  where  thoa  and  Death 

Shall  dwell  at  ease,  and  up  and  down  unseen 

Wing  silently  the  buzom  air." — Paradise  Lost,  II.  840. 

But  aided,  doubtless,  as  Dr.  Johnson  suggests,  by  a  too  liberal 
construction  of  the  bride's  promise  in  the  old  English  marriage 
ceremony,  to  be  "obedient  and  buxom  in  bed  and  board,"  it 
came  to  be  applied  to  women  who  were  erroneously  thought 
likely  to  be  thus  yielding;  and  hence  it  now  means  plump, 
rosy,  alluring,  and  is  applied  only  to  women  who  combine  those 
qualities  of  figure,  face  and  expression.    • 


ENGLISH   WORDS  AND   FORMS  Of  EXPRESSION.       197 

Cadaver, — An  abbot  of  Cirencester,  abont  1216,  oonceiyed 
himself  an  etymologist,  and,  as  a  specimen  of  his  powers,  has 
left  ns  the  Latin  word  cadaver,  a  corpse,  thus  dissected : — "  Ca," 
quoth  he,  is  abbreviated  for  caro;  "da"  for  data;  "ver"  for 
vermibus.  Hence  we  have  "  caro  data  vermibus,"  flesh  given 
to  the  worms. 

Tet  while  the  reader  smiles  at  this  curious  absurdity,  it  is 
worth  while  to  note  that  the  word  alim  is  constructed  upon  a 
similar  principle,  being  formed  (according  to  the  best  authority) 
of  letters,  taken  firom  successive  syllables  of  the  cumbrous  La- 
tinized Greek  word  deemosyna* 

Canard. — ^This  is  the  French  for  duck,  and  the  origin  of  its 
application  to  hoaxing  is  said  to  be  as  follows: — To  ridicule  a 
growing  extravagance  in  story-telling  a  clever  journalist  stated 
that  an  interesting  experiment  had  just  been  made,  calculated 
to  prove  the  extraordinary  voracity  of  ducks.  Twenty  of  these 
animals  had  been  placed  together,  and  one  of  them  having  been 
killed  and  cut  up  into  the  smallest  possible  pieces,  feathers  and 
all,  and  thrown  to  the  other  nineteen,  had  been  gluttonously 
gobbled  up  in  an  exceedingly  brief  space  of  time.  Another  was 
taken  from  the  remaining  nineteen,  and  being  chopped  small 
like  its  predecessor,  was  served  up  to  the  eighteen,  and  at  once 
devoured  like  the  other ;  and  so  on  to  the  last,  which  was  thus 
placed  in  the  remarkable  position  of  having  eaten  his  nineteen 
companions  in  a  wonderfully  short  space  of  time !  All  this, 
most  pleasantly  narrated,  obtained  a  success  which  the  writer 
was  far  from  anticipating,  for  the  story  ran  the  rounds  of  all 
the  journals  in  Europe.  It  then  became  almost  forgotten  for 
about  a  score  of  years,  when  it  came  back  from  America,  with 
an  amplification  which  it  did  not  boast  of  at  the  commence- 
ment, and  with  a  regular  certificate  of  the  autopsy  of  the  body 
of  the  surviving  animal,  whose  esophagus  was  declared  to  have 
been  seriously  injured !  Since  then  &brications  of  this  cha- 
racter have  been  called  ccmards. 

17» 


198         ENGLISH  WOBDS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION. 

Chum, — A  schoolboy's  letter,  written  two  centuries  ago,  has 
lately  revealed  that  chum  is  a  contraction  from  <' chamber- 
fellow."  Two  students  dwelling  together  found  the  word  un- 
wieldly,  and,  led  by  another  universal  law  of  language,  they 
shortened  it  in  the  most  obvious  way. 

Dandy, — Bishop  Fleetwood  says  that  "dandy"  is  derived 
from  a  silver  coin  of  small  value,  circulated  in  the  reign  of 
Heoxy  VIII.,  and  called  a  "  dandy-prat." 

Dunce, — This  word  comes  to  us  from  the  celebrated  Duns 
Scotus,  chief  of  the  Schoolmen  of  his  time.  He  was  ''  the 
subtle  doctor  by  preeminence ; "  and  it  certainly  is  a  strange 
perversion  that  a  scholar  of  his  great  ability  should  give  name 
to  a  class  who  hate  all  scholarship.  When  at  the  Reformation 
and  revival  of  learning  the  works  of  the  Schoolmen  fell  into 
extreme  disfavor  with  the  Reformers  and  the  votaries  of  the 
new  learning,  Duns,  the  standard-bearer  of  the  former,  was  so 
often  referred  to  with  scorn  and  contempt  by  the  latter  that  his 
name  gradually  became  the  by-word  it  now  is  for  hopeless  ig- 
norance and  invincible  stupidity.  The  errors  and  follies  of  a 
set  were  &stened  upon  their  distinguished  head.  Says  Tyn- 
dale,  1575, — 

"  Remember  ye  not  how  within  this  thirty  years,  and  fer 
less,  and  yet  dureth  unto  this  day,  the  old  barking  curs, 
Dunce's  disciples,  and  like  draff  called  Scotists,  the  children 
of  darkness^  raged  in  every  pulpit  against  Greek,  Latin  and 
Hebrew?" 

Eating  hunible-pte. — ^The  phrase  "eating  humble-pie"  is 
traced  to  the  obsolete  French  word  "  omhies"  entrails ;  pies  for 
the  household  servants  being  formerly  made  of  the  entrails  of 
animals.  Hence,  to  take  low  or  humble  ground,  to  submit  one's 
self,  came  familiarly  to  be  called  eating  "humble"  or  rather 
"  umble  "  pie.  The  word  "  umbles"  came  to  us  from  the  Nor- 
man conquest;  and  though  now  obsolete,  retains  its  place  in 


ENGLISH  WORDS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION.        199 

the  lexicons  of  Worcester  and  Webster,  who,  however,  explain 
the  entrails  to  be  those  of  the  deer  only. 

Fiasco. — A  German,  one  day,  seeing  a  glassblower  at  his  oc- 
cupation, thought  nothing  could  be  easier  than  glassblowing, 
and  that  he  could  soon  learn  to  blow  as  well  as  the  workmjin. 
He  accordingly  commenced  operations  by  blowing  yigorously,. 
but  could  only  produce  a  sort  of  pear-shaped  balloon  or  little 
flask  (fiasco).  The  second  attempt  had  a  similar  result,  and  so 
on,  until  fiasco  after  fiasco  had  been  made.  Hence  arose  the 
expression  which  we  not  infrequently  have  occasion  to  use  when 
describing  the  result  of  our  undertakings. 

"^Fadge. — ^This  is  a  curious  word,  having  a  positive  personality 
underlying  it.  Such  at  least  it  is,  if  Disraeli's  account  thereof 
be  authentic.  He  quotes  from  a  very  old  pamphlet  entitled 
Remarks  upon  the  Navt/,  wherein  the  author  says,  "  There  was 
in  our  time  one  Captain  Fudge,  commander  of  a  merchantman, 
who  upon  his  return  from  a  voyage,  how  ill  fraught  soever  his 
ship  was,  always  brought  home  his  owners  a  good  crop  of  lies ; 
so  much  that  now,  aboard  ship,  the  sailors  when  they  hear  a 
great  lie  told,  cry  out,  'You  fudge  it'."  The  ship  was  the 
Black  Eagle,  and  the  time,  Charles  11. ;  and  thence  the  mono- 
syllabic name  of  its  untruthful  captain  comes  to  us  for  excla- 
mation when  we  have  reason  to  believe  assertions  ill-founded. 

Gossip. — This  is  another  of  that  class  of  words  which  by 
the  system  of  moral  decadence  that  Trench  has  so  ably  illustra- 
ted as  influencing  human  language,  has  come  to  be  a  t«rm  of 
unpleasant  reproach.  In  some  parts  of  the  country,  by  the 
"gossips"  of  a  child  are  meant  his  god-parents,  who  take  vows 
for  him  at  his  baptism.  The  connection  between  these  two  actual 
uses  of  the  word  is  not  so  far  to  seek  as  one  might  suppose. 
Chaucer  shows  us  that  those  who  stood  sponsors  for  an  in&nt 
were  considered  "sib"  or  kin,  to  each  other  in  God:  thus  the 
double  syllables  were  compounded.     Verstigan  says : — 


200       ENGLISH  WORDS  AND   FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION. 

"  Our  Christian  ancestors  understanding  a  spirituall  affinitie 
for  to  grow  between  the  parents,  and  such  as  undertooke  for  the 
childe  at  baptism e,  called  each  other  by  the  name  of  God'sib, 
which  is  as  much  as  to  say  as  that  they  were  sib  together,  L  e. 
of  kin  together,  through  God." 

The  Roman  church  forbids  marriage  between  persons  so  united 
•in  a  common  vow,  as  she  believes  they  have  contracted  an 
essential  spiritual  relationship.  But  from  their  affinity  in  the  in- 
terests of  the  child  they  were  brought  into  much  converse  with 
one  another ;  and  as  much  talk  almost  always  degenerates  into 
idle  talk,  and  personalities  concerning  one's  neighbors,  and  the 
like,  so  ^'  gossips  "  finally  came  to  signify  the  latter,  when  the 
former  use  of  it  was  nearly  forgotten.  It  is  remarkable  that 
the  French  "comm^rage"  has  passed  through  identically  the 
same  perversion. 

Grog. — Admiral  Vernon,  whose  ardent  devotion  to  his  profes- 
sion had  endeared  him  to  the  British  naval  service,  was  in  the 
habit  of  walking  the  deck,  in  bad  weather,  in  a  rough  grogram 
cloak,  and  thence  had  obtained  the  nickname  of  Old  Grog. 
"Whilst  in  command  of  the  West  India  station,  and  at  the  height 
of  his  popularity  on  account  of  his  reduction  of  Porto  Bello 
with  six  men-of-war  only,  he  introduced  the  use  of  rum  and  water 
among  the  ship's  company.  When  served  out,  the  new  beverage 
proved  most  palatable,  and  speedily  grew  into  such  favor  that 
it  became  as  popular  as  the  brave  admiral  himself,  and  in  honor 
of  him  was  sumamed  by  acclamation  "  Grog." 

Hocus-pocus. — According  to  Tillotson,  this  singular  expres- 
sion is  believed  to  be  a  corruption  of  the  transubstantiating 
formula.  Hoc  est  corpus  rmum,  used  by  the  priest  on  the 
elevation  of  the  host.  Turner,  in  his  history  of  the  Anglo- 
Saxons,  traces  it  to  Ochus  Bochus,  a  magician  and  demon  of 
the  northern  mythology.  We  should  certainly  prefer  the  latter 
as  the  source  of  this  conjurer's  catch-word,  which  the  usage  of 


SNOLISH   WOBDS  AND   FORMS  OF   EXPRESSION.       201 

ordinary  life  connects  with  jugglery  or   unfair  dealing,  but 
preponderant  evidence  is  in  favor  of  the  former. 

Malingerer. — ^This  word,  brought  much  into  use  by  the  exi- 
gencies of  our  civil  war,  is  from  the  French  "  malin  gr^,''  and 
signifies  a  soldier  who  from  "evil  will"  shirks  his  duty  by 
feigning  sickness,  or  otherwise  rendering  himself  incapable :  in 
plain  words,  a  poltroon. 

Mustard, — Etymologists  have  fought  vigorously  over  the 
derivation  of  this  word.  "  Multum  ardet,"  says  one,  or  in  old 
French,  "moult  arde,"  it  bums  much.  "  Mustum  ardcns,  hot 
must,  says  another,  referring  to  the  former  custom  of  preparing 
French  mustard  for  the  table  with  the  sweet  must  of  new  wine. 
A  picturesque  story  about  the  name  is  thus  told : — Philip  the 
Bold,  Duke  of  Burgundy,  granted  to  Dijon  certain  armorial 
hearings,  with  the  motto  "  Moult  me  tarde" — I  long  or  wish 
ardently.  This  was  sculptured  over  the  principal  gate.  In  the 
course  of  years,  by  some  accident,  the  central  word  was  effaced. 
The  manufacturers  of  sinapi  or  sen^v^  (such  were  the  former 
names  of  mustard),  wishing  to  label  their  pots  of  condiment 
with  tho  city  arms,  copied  the  mutilated  motto;  and  the  un- 
learned, seeing  continually  the  inscription  of  "  moult-tarde," 
fell  into  the  habit  of  calling  the  contents  by  this  title. 

Navvy. — Many  persons  have  been  puzzled  by  the  application 
of  this  word,  abbreviated  from  navigator,  to  laborers.  Why 
should  earth-workers  be  called  navigators  ?  They  whose  busi- 
ness is  with  an  element  antipodean  to  water,  why  receive  a 
title  as  of  seafaring  men?  At  the  period  when  inland  navigar 
tion  was  the  national  rage,  and  canals  were  considered  to  involve 
the  essentials  of  prosperity,  as  railways  are  now,  the  workmen 
employed  on  them  were  called  "navigators,"  as  cutting  the 
way  for  navigation.  And  when  railways  superseded  canals,  the 
name  of  the  laborers,  withdrawn  from  one  work  to  the  other, 
was  unchanged,  and  merely  contracted,  according  to  the  dis- 


202       ENGLISH   WORDS  AND   F0BM8  OF  EXPRESSION. 

like  of  our  Anglo-Saxon  tongues  to  use  four  syllables  where  a 
less  number  will  suffice. 

Neighbor, — Formerly  this  familiar  word  was  employed  to 
signify  "the  boor  who  lives  nigh  to  us."  And  just  here  is  an- 
other of  those  words  which  have  been  degraded  from  their 
original  sense ;  for  boor  did  not  then  represent  a  stupid,  igno- 
rant lout,  but  simply  a  farmer,  as  in  Dutch  now. 

Poltroon, — In  the  olden  days  the  Norman-French  "  poltroon*' 
had  a  significance  obsolete  now:  days  when  Strongbow  was  a 
noble  surname,  and  the  yew-trees  of  England  were  of  impor- 
tance as  an  arm  of  national  defence;  then  the  coward  or  malin- 
gerer had  but  to  cut  oflf  the  thumb  ("poUice  truncus"  in  Latin) 
— ^the  thumb  which  drew  the  bow,  and  he  was  unfit  for  service, 
and  must  be  discharged. 

Porpoise, — The  common  creature  of  the  sea,  whose  gambols 
have  passed  into  a  jest  and  a  proverb,  the  porpoise,  is  so  named 
because  of  his  resemblance  to  a  hog  when  in  sportive  mood. 
"  Porc-poisson,"  said  somebody  who  watched  a  herd  of  them 
tumbling  about,  for  all  the  world  like  swine,  except  for  the 
sharp  dorsal  fin ;  and  the  epithet  adhered. 

Scrape, — Long  ago  roamed  through  the  forests  the  red  and 
fallow  deer,  which  had  a  habit  of  scraping  up  the  earth  with 
their  fore-feet  to  the  depth  of  several  inches,  sometimes  even  of 
half  a  yard.  A  wayfaring  man  through  the  olden  woods  was 
frequently  exposed  to  the  danger  of  tumbling  into  one  of  these 
hollows,  when  he  might  truly  be  said  to  be  "in  a  scrape." 
Cambridge  students  in  their  little  difficulties  picked  up  and  ap- 
plied the  phrase  to  other  perplexing  matters  which  had  brought 
a  man  morally  into  a  fix. 

Sterling, — This  word  was  originally  applied  to  the  metal 
rather  than  to  a  coin.  The  following  extract  from  Camden  points 
out  its  origin  as  applied  to  money : — 


ENGLISH  WORDS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION.        203 

In  the  time  of  his  sonne  King  Richard  the  First,  monie 
coined  in  the  east  parts  of  Germanic  began  to  be  of  especiall 
request  in  England  for  the  puritie  thereof,  and  was  called 
Easterling  monie,  as  all  the  inhabitants  of  those  parts  were 
called  EdsterlingAy  and  shortly  after  some  of  that  countrie,  skil- 
ful in  mint  matters  and  alloies,  were  sent  for  into  this  realme  to 
bring  the  coins  to  perfection,  which,  since  that  time,  was  called 
of  them  sterling  for  Easterlings. 

Surplice, — ^That  scholastic  and  ministerial  badge,  the  sur- 
plice, is  said  to  derive  its  name  from  the  Latin  "superpelliceum,'' 
because  anciently  worn  over  leathern  coats  made  of  hides  of 
beasts ;  with  the  idea  of  representing  how  the  sin  of  our  first 
parents  is  now  covered  by  the  grace  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ, 
so  that  we  are  entitled  to  wear  the  emblem  of  innocence. 

Sycophant, — The  original  etymology  of  the  word  sycophant 
is  curious.  The  word  euxoipavriat  (from  <wxov^  a  fig,  and  tpaivto^ 
to  show,)  in  its  primary  signification,  means  to  inform  against 
or  expose  those  who  exported  figs  from  Athens  to  other  places 
without  paying  duty,  hence  it  came  to  signify  calumnior,  to 
accuse  falsely,  to  be  a  tale-bearer,  an  evil  speaker  of  others. 
The  word  sycophanta  means,  in  its  first  sense,  no  more  than 
this.  We  now  apply  it  to  any  flatterer,  or  other  abject  depen- 
dant, who,  to  serve  his  own  purposes,  slanders  and  detracts 
ftom  others. 

Tariff. — Because  payment  of  a  fixed  scale  of  duties  was  de- 
manded by  the  Moorish  occupants  of  a  fortress  on  Tarifa 
promontory,  which  overlooked  the  entrance  to  the  Mediterra- 
nean, all  taxes  on  imports  came  to  be  called  a  tariff. 

Treacle. — A  remarkable  curiosity  in  the  way  of  derivations 
is  one  traced  by  that  indefatigable  explorer.  Archbishop  Trench, 
which  connects  treacle  with  vipers.  The  syrup  of  molasses 
with  the  poison  of  snakes  I  Never  was  an  odder  relationship ; 
yet  it  is  a  case  of  genuine  fatherhood,  and  embodies  a  singular 
superstition.     The  ancients  believed  that  the  best  antidote  to 


204       ENGLISH   WORDS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION. 

the  bite  of  the  viper  was  a  confection  of  its  own  flesh.  The 
Greek  word  f^ptaxjj,  flesh  of  the  viper,  was  given  first  to  such 
a  sweetmeat,  and  then  to  any  antidote  of  poison,  and  lastly  to 
any  syrup ;  and  easily  corrupted  into  our  present  word.  Chaucer 
has  a  line — 

ChriBt,  which  that  is  to  every  harm  triacle. 

Milton  speaks  of  the  "sovran  treacle  of  sound  doctrine."  A 
stuff*  called  Venice  Treacle  was  considered  antidote  to  all  poisons. 
"  Vipers  treacle  yield,"  says  Edmund  Waller,  in  a  verse  which 
has  puzzled  many  a  modern  reader,  and  yet  brings  one  close  to 
the  truth  of  the  etymology,  and  shows  that  treacle  is  only  a 
popular  corruption  of  theriac. 

Wig. — This  word  may  be  cited  as  a  good  example  to  show 
how  interesting  and  profitable  it  is  to  trace  words  through  their 
etymological  windings  to  their  original  source.  Wig  is  abridged 
from  periwig y  which  comes  from  the  Low  Dutch  peruik, 
which  has  the  same  meaning.  When  first  introduced  into  the 
English  language,  it  was  written  and  pronounced  perwick,  the 
u  being  changed  into  t^,  as  may  still  be  seen  in  old  English 
books.  Afterwards  the  i  was  introduced  for  euphony,  and  it 
became  periwich;  and  finally  the  dc  was  changed  into  g^ 
making  \t  periwig,  and  by  contraction  wig. 

The  Dutch  word  peruik  was  borrowed  from  the  French  per- 
ruque.  The  termination  tiik  is  a  fiivorite  one  with  that  nation, 
and  is  generally  substituted  in  borrowed  words  for  the  French 
uqu^  and  the  German  ouch.  The  French  word  pemtqtie  comes 
from  the  Spanish  pelitca,  and  this  last  fit)m  pelo,  hair,  which 
is  derived  from  the  Latin  pi/vs.  Hence  the  Latin  word  pilus, 
hair,  through  successive  transformations,  has  produced  the 
English  word  wig,  ^ 

Wind/aU. — Centuries  ago  a  clause  was  extant  in  the  tenure 
of  many  English  estates,  to  the  effect  that  the  owners  might 
not  fell  the  trees,  as  the  best  timber  was  reserved  for  the  Royal 
Navy;  but  any  trees  that  came  down  without  cutting  were  the 


ENGLISH   WORDS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION.        205 

property  of  the  tenant  Hence  was  a  storm  a  joyful  and  a 
lucrative  event  in  proportion  to  its  intensity,  and  the  larger  the 
number  of  forest  patriarchs  it  laid  low  the  richer  was  the  lord 
of  the  land.  He  had  received  a  veritable  "  windfall."  Ours  in 
the  nineteenth  century  come  in  the  shape  of  any  unexpected 
profit;  and  those  of  us  who  own  estates  rather  quake  in  sym- 
pathy  with  our  trembling  trees  on  windy  nights. 

ODD   CHANGES   OF   SIGNIFICATION. 

The  first  verse  of  Dean  Whittingham's  version  of  the  114th 
Psalm  may  be  quoted  as  a  curious  instance  of  a  phrase  origin- 
ally grave  in  its  meaning  become  strangely  incongruous: — 

When  Israel  by  God's  address 

From  Pharaoh's  land  was  bent, 
And  Jacob's  house  the  strangers  left 

And  tn  the  tame  train  went. 

Since  the  completion  of  the  Pacific  Railway,  some  intro- 
ductory lines  in  Southey's  Thcdaha  require  correction : — 

Who  at  this  untimely  hour 
Wander  o'er  the  deaert  tandet 
No  ttatioH  is  in  view. 

If  the  author  would  revisit  the  earth,  he  would  find  numerous 
'' stations"  on  the  railway  route  across  the  Great  American 
Desert. 

Among  funny  instances  of  wresting  from  a  text  a  meaning 
to  suit  a  particular  purpose,  is  that  of  the  classical  scholar  who 
undertook  to  prove  that  the  word  *^  smile"  was  used  as  a  euphe- 
mism for  a  drink  in  ancient  times,  by  quoting  from  Horace's 

Amara  lento  temperat  risu. 
Which  is  rendered  by  Martin : — 

Meets  life's  hittert  with  a  jest. 
And  emileM  them  down. 

18 


206      ENGLISH  WORDS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION. 

By  lento  rUu,  it  was  argued,  is  dearly  meant  a  slow  smile,  or 
one  taken  through  a  straw  1 

The  meaning  of  the  word  Wretch  is  one  not  generally  under- 
stood. It  was  originally,  and  is  now,  in  some  parts  of  England, 
used  as  a  term  of  the  softest  and  fondest  tenderness.  This  is 
not  the  only  instance  in  which  words  in  their  present  general 
acceptation  bear  a  very  opposite  meaning  to  what  they  did  in 
Shakspeare's  time.  The  word  Wanch^  formerly,  was  not  used 
in  the  low  and  vulgar  acceptation  that  it  is  at  present.  Damsel 
was  the  appellation  of  young  ladies  of  quality,  and  Dame  a 
title  of  distinction.  Knave  once  signified  a  servant;  and  in  an 
early  translation  of  the  New  Testament,  instead  of  "  Paul,  the 
Servant,"  we  read  "Paul,  the  Knave  of  Jesus  Christ,"  or, 
Paul,  a  rascal  of  Jesus  Christ.  Varlet  was  formerly  used  in  the 
same  sense  as  valet.  On  the  other  hand,  the  word  Companion^ 
instead  of  being  the  honorable  synonym  of  Associate,  occurs 
in  the  play  of  Othello  with  the  same  contemptuous  meaning 
which  we  now  affix,  in  its  abusive  sense,  to  the  word  "Fellow;" 
for  Emilia,  perceiving  that  some  secret  villain  had  aspersed  the 
character  of  the  virtuous  Desdomona,  thus  indignantly  ex- 
claims:—   . 

0  Heaven !  that  such  Companions  tbou'dst  unfold, 

And  put  in  every  honest  hand  a  whip, 

To  lash  the  rascal  naked  through  the  world. — iv.  2. 

Villain  formerly  meant  a  bondman.  In  feudal  law,  according 
to  Blackstone,  the  term  was  applied  to  those  who  held  lands  and 
tenements  in  villenage^ — a  tenure  by  base  services. 

Pedant  formerly  meant  a  schoolmaster.  Shakspeare  says  in 
hb  Twelfth  Night,— 

A  pedant  that  keeps  a  school  in  the  church. — ^iii.  2. 

Bacon,  in  his  Pathway  unto  Prayer,  thus  uses  the  word 
Imp :  "  Let  us  pray  for  the  preservation  of  the  King's  most 
excellent  Majesty,  and  for  the  prosperous  success  of  his  entirely 
beloved  son  Edward  our  Prince,  that  most  angelic  %mjp" 


ENGLISH  W0ED8   AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION.        207 

The  word  hrat  is  not  considered  yerj  elegant  now,  bat  a 
few  years  ago  it  had  a  different  signification  from  its  present 
one.  An  old  hymn  or  De  pro/undis,  by  Gascoine,  contains 
the  lines, — 

"  0  Israel,  0  household  of  tho  Lord, 
0  Abraham's  brats,  0  brood  of  blessed  seed, 
0  chosen  shoop  that  loved  the  Lord  iodeed." 

It  is  a  somewhat  noticeable  fact,  that  the  changes  in  the 
signification  of  words  have  generally  been  to  their  deteriora- 
tion ;  that  is,  words  that  heretofore  had  no  sinister  meaning 
have  acquired  it.  The  word  cunning^  for  example,  formerly ' 
meant  nothing  sinister  or  underhanded;  and  in  Thrope's  con- 
fession in  Fox's  "  Book  of  Martyrs"  is  the  sentence,  "  I  believe 
that  all  these  three  persons  [in  tho  Godhead]  are  even  in 
power,  and  in  canning,  and  in  might,  full  of  grace  and  of  all 
goodness."  Demure  is  another  of  this  class.  It  was  used  by 
earlier  writers  without  the  insinuation  which  is  now  almost 
latent  in  it,  that  tho  external  shows  of  modesty  and  sobriety 
rest  on  no  corresponding  realities.  Explode  formerly  meant 
to  drive  off  the  stage  with  loud  clappings  of  the  hands,  but 
gradually  became  exaggerated  into  its  present  signification. 
Facetious,  too,  originally  meant  urbane,  but  now  has  so  degene- 
rated as  to  have  acquired  the  sense  of  buffoonery;  and  Mr. 
Trench  sees  indications  that  it  will  cro  long  acquire  the  sense 
of  indecent  buffoonery.  • 

Frippery  now  means  trumpery  and  odds  and  ends  of  cheap 
finery;  but  once  it  meant  old  clothes  of  value,  and  not  worth- 
less, as  the  term  at  present  implies.  The  word  Gossip  for- 
merly meant  only  a  sponsor  in  baptism.  Sponsors  were  sup- 
posed to  become  acquainted  at  the  baptismal  font,  and  by  their 
sponsorial  act  to  establish  an  indefinite  affinity  towards  each 
other  and  the  child.  Thus  the  word  was  applied  to  all  who 
were  familiar  and  intimate,  and  finally  obtained  the  meaning 
which  is  now  predominant  in  it. 

Homely  once  meant  secret  and  familiar,  though  in  the  time 
of  Milton  it  had  acquired  the  same  sense  as  at  present.     Idiot^ 


208       ENGLISH   WORDS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION. 

from  the  Greek,  originallj  signified  only  a  private  man  as  dis- 
tinguished from  one  in  public  office,  and  from  that  it  has  de- 
generated till  it  has  come  to  designate  a  person  of  defective 
mental  powers.  Incense  once  meant  to  kindle  not  only  anger, 
but  good  passions  as  well;  Fuller  uses  it  in  the  sense  of  ''to 
incite."  Indolence  originally  signified  a  freedom  from  passion 
or  pain,  but  now  implies  a  condition  of  languid  non-exertion. 
Insolent  was  once  only  "  unusual." 

The  derivation  of  lumber  is  peculiar.  As  the  Lombards 
were  the  bankers,  so  they  were  also  the  pawnbrokers,  of  the 
Middle  Ages.  The  "  lumber-room"  was  then  the  place  where 
the  Lombard  banker  and  broker  stored  his  pledges,  and  lumber 
gradually  came  to  mean  the  pledges  themselves.  As  these 
naturally  accumulated  till  they  got  out  of  date  or  became  un- 
serviceable, it  is  easy  to  trace  the  steps  by  which  the  word 
descended  to  its  present  meaning. 

Obsequious  implies  an  unmanly  readiness  to  fall  in  with  the 
will  of  another;  but  in  the  original  obscquium,  or  in  the 
English  word  as  employed  two  centuries  ago,  there  was  nothing 
of  this  :  it  rather  meant  obedience  and  mildness.  Shakspeare, 
speaking  of  a  deceased  person,  says, — 

**  How  many  a  holy  and  obsequiotis  tear 
llath  dear  religious  love  stolen  from  mine  eye, 
As  interest  of  the  dead." 

Property  and  propriety  were  once  synonymous,  both  refer- 
ring to  material  things,  as  the  French  word  propriStS  does  now. 
Foreigners  do  not  often  catch  the  distinction  at  present  made 
in  English  between  the  two  words;  and  we  know  a  French 
gentleman  who,  recently  meeting  with  some  pecuniary  reverses, 
astonished  his  friends  by  telling  them  that  he  had  lost  all  his 
"  propriety." 

A  poet  is  a  person  who  writes  poetry,  and,  according  to  the 
good  old  customs,  a  proser  was  a  person  who  wrote  prose,  and 
simply  the  antithesis  of  poet.  The  word  has  now  a  sadly  differ- 
ent signification ;  and  it  would  not  be  considered  very  respect- 
able to  term  Addison,  Irving,  Bancroft,  or  Everett  "  prosers." 


ENGLISH   WORDS   AND   FORMS   OF   EXPRESSION.        209 
INFLUENCE   OF   NAMES. 

The  Romans,  from  the  time  they  expelled  their  kinp^,  could 
never  endure  the  idea  of  being  governed  by  a  king.  But  they 
submitted  to  the  most  abject  slavery  under  an  emperor.  And 
Oliver  Cromwell  did  not  venture  to  risk  disgusting  the  repub- 
licans by  calling  himself  king,  though  under  the  title  of  Pr^- 
tcctor  he  exercised  regal  functions. 

The  American  colonies  submitted  to  have  their  iA>mmerce 
and  their  manufactures  crippled  by  restrictions  avowedly  for 
the  benefit  of  the  mother-country,  and  were  thus  virtually 
taxed  to  the  amount  of  all  that  they  in  any  instance  lost  by 
paying  more  for  some  article  than  it  would  cost  to  make  it 
themselves^  or  to  buy  it  of  foreigners.  But  as  soon  as  a  tax 
was  imposed  under  that  namey  they  broke  out  into  rebellion. 

It  is  a  marvel  to  many,  and  seems  to  them  nearly  incredible, 
that  the  Israelites  should  have  gone  after  other  gods ;  and  yet 
the  vulgar  in  most  parts  of  Christendom  are  actually  serving 
the  gods  of  their  heathen  ancestors.  But  then  they  do  not 
call  them  gods,  but  fairies  or  bogles,  etc.,  and  they  do  not 
apply  the  word  worship  to  their  veneration  of  them,  nor  sacri- 
Jice  to  their  offerings.  And  this  slight  change  of  name  keeps 
most  people  in  ignorance  of  a  fact  that  is  before  their  eyes. 

Others,  professed  Christians,  are  believed,  both  by  others 
and  by  themselves,  to  be  worshippers  of  the  true  God,  though 
they  invest  him  with  the  attributes  of  one  of  the  evil  demons 
worshipped  by  the  heathen.  There  is  hardly  any  professed 
Christian  who  would  not  be  shocked  at  the  application  of  the 
word  caprice  to  the  acts  of  the  Most  High.  And  yet  his 
choosing  to  inflict  suffering  on  his  creatures  "/or  no  cause" 
(as  some  theologians  maintain)  '^ except  that  such  is  his  will" 
is  the  very  definition  of  caprice. 

But  when    Lord   Byron   published    his  poem  of  "  Cain," 

vrhich  contains  substantially  the  very  same  doctrine,  there  was 

a  preat  outcry  among  pious  people,  including,  no  doubt,  many 

who  were  of  the  theological  school  which  teaches  the  same^ 

under  other  names. 

0  18* 


210        ENGLISH   WORDS   AND   POEMS   OP   EXPRESSION. 

Wby  and  bow  any  evil  comes  to  exist  in  the  universe,  reason 
cannot  explain,  and  revelation  does  not  tell  us.  But  it  does 
show  us  what  is  not  the  cause.  That  it  cannot  be  from  ill  will 
or  indifference,  is  proved  by  the  suflferings  undergone  by  the 
beloved  Son. 

Many  probably  would  have  hesitated  if  it  had  been  proposed 
to  them  to  join  a  new  CJiurch  under  that  iiame,  who  yet 
eagerly  enrolled  themselves  in  the  Evangelical  Alliance, — 
which  is  in  fact  a  church,  with  meetings  for  worship,  and 
sermons  under  the  name  of  speeches,  and  a  creed  consisting  of 
sundry  Articles  of  Faith  to  be  subscribed ;  only  not  called  by 
those  names. 

Mrs.  B.  expressed  to  a  friend  her  great  dread  of  such  a 
medicine  as  tartar-emetic.  She  always,  she  said,  gave  her 
children  antimonial  wine.  He  explained  to  her  that  this  is 
tartar-emetic  dissolved  in  wine ;  but  she  remained  unchanged. 

Mrs.  H.  did  not  like  that  her  daughters  should  be  novel- 
readers  ;  and  all  novels  in  prose  were  indiscriminately  prohi- 
bited ;  but  ant/  thing  in  verse  was  as  indiscriminately  allowed. 

Probably  a  Quaker  would  be  startled  at  any  one's  using  the 
very  words  of  the  prophets,  "  Thus  saith  the  Lord :"  yet  he 
says  the  same  things  in  the  words,  "  The  Spirit  moveth  me  to 
say  so  and  so."  And  some,  again,  who  would  be  shocked  at 
this,  speak  of  a  person, — adult  or  child, — who  addresses  a  con- 
gregation in  extempore  prayers  and  discourses,  as  being  under 
the  influence  of  the  Holy  Spirit ;  though  in  neither  case  is 
there  any  miraculous  j^^oof  given.  And  they  abhor  a  claim 
to  in/all ih ility  ;  only  they  are  quite  certain  of  being  under  the 
guidance  of  the  Spirit  in  whatever  they  say  or  do. 

Quakers,  again,  and  some  other  dissenters,  object  to  a  hired 
ministry,  (in  reality,  an  wwhired;)  but  their  preachers  are  to 
be  supplied  with  all  they  need;  like  the  father  of  Moli6re's 
Bourgeois,  who  was  no  shopkeeper,  but  kindly  chose  r/oods  for 
his  friends,  which  he  let  them  have  for  money. 


ENGLISH  WORDS  AND  FORMS  OF  EXPRESSION.       211 
COMPOUND   EPITHETS. 

The  custom  of  using  bard  compounds  furnished  Ben  Jonson 
opportunities  of  showing  his  learning  as  well  as  his  satire.  He 
used  to  call  them  <<  words  un-in-one-brcatb-uttcrable."  Redi 
mentions  an  epigram  against  the  sophists,  made  up  of  com- 
pounds ''a  mile  long/'  Joseph  Scaliger  left  a  curious  exam- 
ple in  Latiuy  part  of  which  may  be  thus  rendered  into  Eng- 
lish:— 

Loftjbrowfloarishen, 

Noseinbeardwallowers. 

BrigandbeardDouriBhen, 

DiBhandallswallowen, 

OldcIoakiDVostitorSy 

Barefootlookfashiooen, 

NightprJTatefeasteatew, 

Craftlucubrationers ; 
Yoathcheatera,  Wordcatchers,  VaiDgloryosophen, 
Such  are  your  seekersorvirtue  philosophors. 

Tlie  old  naturalist  Lovell  published  a  book  at  Oxford,  in 
1661,  entitled  PanzooUxjicomineralogia.  Rabelais  proposed 
the  following  title  for  a  book : — AntipericataTnetaparhengedam- 
phicribrationes.  The  reader  of  Shakspearo  will  remember  Cos- 
tard's honorijicahilitudinitatihua,  in  Love's  Labor  Lost,  v.  1. 
There  was  recently  in  the  British  army  a  major  named  Tej/o- 
ninJiokarawen.  In  the  island  of  Mull,  Scotland,  is  a  locality 
named  DrimtaidJiorickhillicIiaUan,  The  original  Mexican  for 
country  curates  is  Notlazomahnitzteopixcatatziiis.  The  longest 
Nipmuck  word  in  Eliot's  Indian  Bible  is  in  St.  Mark  i.  40, 
WutteppesiltukqiLssunnoawehtunkquoh,  and  signifies  "  kneeling 
down  to  him.'' 

OUR  VERNACULAR  IN   CHAUCER'S   TIME. 

But  rede  that  boweth  down  for  every  blaate 

Fol  lygbtly  eosse  wynde,  it  wol  aryse 

But  so  Dyle  not  an  oke,  when  it  lb  caate 

It  nedeth  me  nought  longe  the  forvyse 

Men  Bhall  reioygen  of  a  great  empriae 

Atchewed  wel  and  stant  withonton  dout 

Al  baue  men  ben  the  locger  there  about. — TVoy/ut,  IL 


212  TALL  WRITING. 


JCall  asaritiuQ* 


DEFINITION   OF   TRANSCENDENTALISM. 

The  spiritual   cognosoence  of   psychological   irrefragibilitj 
connected  with  concutient  ademption  of  incolutunicnt  spiritual- 
itj  and  ethcrializcd  contention  of  subsultory  concretion. 
Translated  by  a  New  York  lawyer,  it  stands  thus : — 
Transcendentalism   is   two  holes  in  a  sand-bank  :  a  storm 
washes  away  the  sand-bank  without  disturbing  the  holes. 

TUE   domicile   erected   DT   JOHN. 
Trantlated  from  the  Vulgate, 
Behold  the  MaDiion  roared  bj  dicdal  Jack. 

Seo  the  malt  stored  in  many  a  plethoric  sack, 
In  the  pruud  cirque  of  Ivan's  bivouac. 

Mark  how  the  Rat's  felonious  fan^^s  invade 
The  golden  stores  in  John's  pavilion  laid. 

Anon,  with  velvet  foot  and  Tarquin  strides, 
Subtle  Grimalkin  to  his  quarry  glides,— 
Grimalkin  grim,  that  slew  the  fierce  rodetU 
Whose  tooth  insidious  Juhann's  sackcloth  rent 

Lo!  now  the  deep-mouthed  canine  foe's  assault. 
That  vexed  the  avenger  of  the  stolen  malt, 
Stored  in  the  hallowed  precincts  of  that  hall 
That  rose  complete  at  Jack's  creative  call. 

Here  stalks  the  impetuous  Cow  with  crumpled  horn. 
Whereon  the  exacerbating  hound  was  torn, 
Who  bayed  the  feline  slaughter-bea^t  that  slew 
The  Rat  predacious,  whose  keen  fangs  ran  throogh 
The  textile  fibers  that  involved  the  grain 
Which  lay  in  Hans'  inviolate  domain. 

Here  walks  forlorn  the  Damsel  crowned  with  rue. 
Lactiferous  spoils  from  vaccine  dags,  who  drew. 
Of  that  corniculate  beast  whose  tortuous  horn 
Tossed  to  the  clouds,  in  fierce  vindictive  scorn, 
The  harrowing  hound,  whose  braggart  bark  and  stir 
Arched  the  lithe  spine  and  reared  the  indignant  Air 


TALL  WRITING.  213 

Of  Puss,  that  with  yerminicidal  claw 
Strack  the  weird  rat  in  whose  insatiate  maw 
Lay  reeking  malt  that  erst  in  Juan's  courts  we  saw. 
Robed  in  senescent  garb  that  seems  in  sooth 
Too  long  a  prej  to  Cbronos'  iron  tooth. 

Behold  the  man  whose  amorous  lips  incline, 
Full  with  young  Eros'  osculative  sign, 
To  the  lorn  maiden  whose  laot-albic  hands 
Drew  albu-lactic  wealth  from  lacteal  glands 
Of  that  immortal  bovine,  by  whose  horn 
Distort,  to  realm  ethereal  was  borne 
The  beast  catulean,  vexer  of  that  sly 
Ulysses  quadrupedal,  who  mado  die 
The  old  mordacious  Rat  that  dared  devour 
Antccedaneous  Ale  in  John's  domestic  bower. 

Lo,  heroy  with  hirsute  honors  doffed,  succinct 

Of  saponaceous  locks,  the  Priest  who  linked 

In  Hymen's  golden  bands  the  torn  unthrift. 

Whose  means  exiguous  stared  from  many  a  rift, 

Even  as  he  kissed  the  virgin  all  forlorn, 

Who  milked  the  cow  with  implicated  horn. 

Who  in  fine  wrath  the  canine  torturer  skied. 

That  dared  to  vex  the  insidious  muricide. 

Who  let  auroral  effluence  through  the  pelt 

Of  the  sly  Rat  that  robbed  the  palace  Jack  had  built. 

The  loud  cantankerous  Shanghae  comes  at  last, 

Whose  shouts  arouse  the  shorn  ecclesiast. 

Who  sealed  the  vows  of  Hymen's  sacrament, 

To  him  who,  robed  in  garments  indigent, 

Exosculates  the  damsel  lachrymose. 

The  emulgator  of  that  horned  brute  moroae. 

That  tossed  the  dog,  that  worried  the  cat,  that  ki'/l 

The  rat,  that  ate  the  malt,  that  lay  in  the  house  that  Jack  built 

FROM   THE   CURIOSITIES   OP  ADVERTISING. 

TO  BE  LET, 

To  an  Oppidan,  a  Ruricolist,  or  a  Cosmopolitan,  and  may  be 
entered  upon  immediately : 

The  House  in  Stone  Row,  lately  possessed  by  Capt.  Siree. 
To  avoid  Verbosity,  the  Proprietor  with  Compendiosity  will 
give  a  Perfunctory  description  of  the  Premises,  in  the  Compa- 
gination  of  which  he  has  Sedulously  studied  the  convenience  of 


214  TALL  WRITING. 

the  Occupant.  It  is  free  from  Opacity,  Tenebrosity,  Fumidity, 
and  Injucundity,  and  no  building  can  have  greater  Pellucidity 
or  Translucency — in  short,  its  Diaphaneity  even  in  the  Cre- 
pusclc  makes  it  like  a  Pharos,  and  without  laud,  for  its  Agglu- 
tination and  Amenity,  it  is  a  most  Delectable  Commorance ; 
and  whoever  lives  in  it  will  find  that  the  Neighbors  have  none 
of  the  Truculcnce,  the  Immanity,  the  Torvity,  the  Spinosity, 
the  Putidness,  the  Pugnacity,  nor  the  Fugacity  observable  in 
other  parts  of  the  town,  but  their  Propinquity  and  Consanguinity 
occasion  Jocundity  and  Pudicity — from  which,  and  the  Redo- 
lence of  the  place  (even  in  the  dog-days),  they  are  remarkable 
for  Longevity.  For  terms  and  particulars  apply  to  James 
Hutchinson,  opposite  the  Market-House. — Dab,  News, 

FROM   THE   CURIOSITIES   OF   THE   POST-OFFICE. 

The  following  is  a  genuine  epistle,  sent  by  an  emigrant  coun- 
try schoolmaster  to  a  friend  at  home : — 

Mr  M  Connors 

With  congruous  gratitude  and  decorum  I  accost  to  you  this 
debonnairc  communication.  And  announce  to  you  with  ami- 
cable Complacency  that  we  continually  enjoy  competent  lauda- 
ble good  health,  thanks  to  our  omnipotent. Father  for  it.  We 
are  endowed  with  the  momentous  prerogatives  of  respectable 
operations  of  a  supplement  concuity  of  having  a  fine  bravo 
and  gallant  youthful  daughter  the  pendicity  ladies  age  is 
four  months  at  this  date,  we  denominated  her  Margaret 
Connolly. 

I  have  to  respond  to  the  Communication  and  accost  and  re- 
mit a  Convoy  revealing  with  your  identity  candor  and  sincerity. 
If  your  brother  who  had  been  pristinely  located  and  stationed 
in  England  whether  he  has  induced  himself  with  ecstasy  to  be 
in  preparation  to  progress  with  you.  I  am  paid  by  the  re- 
spectable potent  loyal  nobleman  that  I  work  for  one  dollar 
per  day.  Announce  to  us  in  what  Concuity  the  crops  and  the 
products  of  husbandry  dignify,  also  predict  how  is  John  Carroll 
and  his  wife  and  family.     My  brother  and  Myself  are  continu- 


TALL  WBITINO.  215 

ally  employed  and  occupied  in  similar  work.  Living  and  doing 
good.     Dictate  how  John  Mahonj  wife  and  family  is 

Don't  you  permit  oblivion  to  obstruct  you  from  inserting  this. 
Prognosticate  how  Mrs  Harrington  is  and  if  she  accept  my  in- 
telligence or  any  convoy  from  either  of  Her  2  progenies  since 
their  embarkation  for  this  nation.  If  she  has  please  specify 
with  congruous  and  elysian  gratitude  with  validity  and  veracity 
to  my  magnanimous  self. 

I  remit  my  respects  to  my  former  friends  and  acquaintances. 
I  remain  D.  Connolly. 

P.  S.     Direct  your  Epistle  to  Pembroke,  State  of  Maine. 

Dear  brother-in-law 

I  am  determined  and  candidly  arrive  at  Corolary,  as  I  am 
fully  resolved  to  transfer  a  sufficient  portion  of  money  to  you 
to  recompense  your  liabilities  from  thenco  to  hence.  I  hope 
your  similar  operations  will  not  impede  any  occurrence  that 
might  obstruct  your  progression  on  or  at  the  specified  time  the 
17  of  March  next. 

SPANISH  PLAY-BILL, 
Exhibited  at  SeoilU,  1762. 

To  the  Sovereign  of  Heaven — to  the  Mother  of  the  Eternal 
World — to  the  Polar  Star  of  Spain — to  the  Comforter  of  all 
Spain — to  the  faithful  Protectress  of  the  Spanish  nation — to 
the  Honor  and  Glory  of  the  Most  Holy  Virgin  Mary — for  her 
benefit  and  for  the  Propagation  of  her  Worship — ^the  Company 
of  Comedians  will  this  day  give  a  representation  of  the  Comic 
Piece  called—  N  A  N I N  E. 

The  celebrated  Italian  will  also  dance  the  Fandango,  and  the 
Theatre  will  be  respectably  illuminated. 

In  a  medical  work  entitled  The  Breviarxe  of  Health,  pub- 
lished in  1547,  by  Andrew  Bordc,  a  physician  of  that  period, 
is  a  prologue  addressed  to  physicians,  beginning  thus : — 

Egregious  doctors  and  masters  of  the  ezimious  and  arcane 
science  of  physic,  of  your  urbanity  exasperate  not  yourselves 
against  me  for  making  this  little  volume. 


216  TALL  WRITINO. 

THE   MAD  POET. 

McDonald  Clarke,  commonly  called  the  mad  poet,  died  a 
few  years  ago  in  the  Lunatic  Asylum  on  Blackwcll's  Island, 
New  York.     He  wrote  those  oft-quoted  lines, — 

Now  twilight  lets  her  oartoin  down, 
And  pins  It  with  a  star. 

In  his  wilder  moments  he  set  all  rules  at  defiance,  and  min- 
gled the  startlingly  sublime  and  the  laughably  ridiculous  in  the 
oddest  confusion.     Ho  talks  thus  madly  of  Washington  : — 

Eternity — give  him  elbow  room; 

A  spirit  like  his  is  large ; 
Earth,  fence  with  artillery  his  tomb, 

And  fire  a  double  charge 
To  the  memory  of  America's  greatest  man : 
Match  him,  posterity,  if  yon  can. 

In  the  following  lines,  he  sketches,  with  a  few  bold  touches, 
a  well-known  place,  sometimes  called  a  rum-Tiole : — 

ITa !  see  where  the  wild-biasing  grogshop  appears, 

As  the  red  waves  of  wretchedness  swell ; 
How  it  bums  on  the  edge  of  tempestuous  years. 

The  horrible  light-house  of  hell ! 

foote's  farrago. 

The  following  droll  nonsense  was  written  by  Foote,  the  dra- 
matist, for  the  purpose  of  trying  the  memory  of  Macklin,  who 
boasted  that  he  could  learn  any  thing  by  heart  on  hearing  it 
once:— 

So  she  went  into  the  garden  to  cut  a  cabbage-leaf  to  make  an 
apple-pie ;  and,  at  the  same  time,  a  great  she-bear  coming  up 
the  street  pops  its  head  into  the  shop — What  1  no  soap  t  So  he 
died ;  and  she  very  imprudently  married  the  barber :  and  there 
were  present  the  Picninnies,  and  the  Joblilies,  and  the  Garyu- 
lics,  and  the  great  Panjandrum  himself,  with  the  little  round 
button  at  top.  And  they  all  fell  to  playing  the  game  of  "catch 
as  catch  can,"  till  the  gunpowder  ran  out  of  the  heels  of  their 
boots  I 


TALL  WRITING.  217 

BURLESQUE   OF  THE   8TTLE  OF  DR.  JOHNSON. 

While  I  was  admiring  the  fantastical  ramifications  of  some 
nmbelliferons  plants  that  hung  over  the  margin  of  the  Liffej, 
the  fallacious  bank,  imperceptibly  corroded  by  the  moist  tooth 
of  the  floidy  gave  way  beneath  my  feet,  and  I  was  suddenly 
submerged  to  some  fathoms  of  profundity.  Presence  of  mind, 
in  constitutions  not  naturally  timid,  is  generally  in  proportion 
to  the  imminence  of  the  peril.  Having  never  learned  to  move' 
through  the  water  in  horizontal  progression,  had  I  desponded, 
I  had  perished ;  but,  being  for  a  moment  raised  above  the  ele- 
ment by  my  struggles,  or  by  some  felicitous  casualty,  I  was 
sensible  of  the  danger,  and  immediately  embraced  the  means 
of  extrication.  A  cow,  at  the  moment  of  my  lapse,  had  en- 
tered the  stream,  within  the  distance  of  a  protruded  arm ;  and 
being  in  the  act  of  transverse  navigation  to  seek  the  pasture  of 
the  opposite  bank,  I  laid  hold  on  that  part  of  the  animal  which 
is  loosely  pendent  behind,  and  is  formed  by  the  continuation  of 
the  vertebrsB.  In  this  manner  I  was  safely  conveyed  to  a  ford- 
able  passage,  not  without  some  delectation  from  the  sense  of 
the  progress  without  effort  on  my  part,  and  the  exhilarating 
approximation  of  more  than  problematical  deliverance.  Though 
in  some  respects  I  resembled  the  pilot  of  Gyas,  Jam  nenior 
madidaque  fluens  in  veste,  yet  my  companions,  unlike  the  bar- 
barous Phrygian  spectators,  forbore  to  acerbitate  the  uncouth- 
ness  of  embarrassment  by  the  insults  of  derision.  Shrieks  of 
eomplorance  testified  sorrow  for  my  submersion,  and  safety  was 
rendered  more  pleasant  by  the  felicitations  of  sympathy.  As 
the  danger  was  over,  I  took  no  umbrage  at  a  little  risibility  ex- 
cited by  the  feculence  of  my  visage,  upon  which  the  cow  had 
discharged  her  gramineous  digestion  in  a  very  ludicrous  abun« 
dance.  About  this  time  the  bell  summoned  us  to  dinner;  and, 
as  the  cutaneous  contact  of  irrigated  garments  is  neither  plea- 
sant nor  salubrious,  I  was  easily  persuaded  by  the  ladies  to 
divest  myself  of  mine.  Colonel  Manly  obligingly  accommo- 
dated me  with  a  covering  of  camlet.    I  found  it  commodious, 

19 


218  TALL    WRITINO. 

and  more  agreeable  than  the  many  compressive  ligaments  of 
modern  drapery.  That  there  might  be  no  violation  of  decorum, 
I  took  care  to  have  the  loose  robe  fastened  before  with  small 
cylindrical  wires,  which  the  dainty  fingers  of  the  ladies  easily 
removed  from  their  dresses  and  inserted  into  mine,  at  such 
proper  intervals  as  to  leave  no  aperture  that  could  awaken  the 
susceptibility  of  temperament^  or  provoke  the  cachinnations  of 
levity.* 

NEWSPAPER  EULOGY. 

The  following  alliterative  eulogy  on  a  young  lady  appeared, 
many  years  ago,  in  a  newspaper : — 

If  boundless  benevolence  be  the  hasia  of  beatitude,  and  Arm- 
less Aumanity  a  harbinger  of  Aallowed  Aeart,  these  Christian 
concomitants  composed  her  characteristics,  and  conciliated  the 
esteem  of  her  cotemporary  ac^aintances,  who  mean  to  model 
their  manners  in  the  mould  of  their  meritorious  monitor. 

OLEAB  AS   MUD. 

In  a  series  of  Philosophical  Essays  published  many  years 
ago,  the  author]*  gives  some  definitions  of  human  knowledge, 
the  following  of  which  he  considers  '^  least  obnoxious  to  com- 
prehension :" — 

A  coincidence  between  the  association  of  ideas,  and  the 
order  or  succession  of  events  or  phenomena,  according  to  the 
relation  of  cause  and  effect,  and  in  whatever  is  subsidiary,  or 
necessary  to  realize,  approximate  and  extend  such  coincidence ; 
understanding,  by  the  relation  of  cause  and  effect,  that  order  or 

*  The  pecaliar  stateliness  and  dignity  of  Johnston's  style,  when  applied  to 
the  smaller  concerns  of  life,  makes,  as  will  be  seen  from  the  above  carioatare^  a 
very  ludicrous  appearance.  A  judicious  imitation  of  his  phraseology  on  tri- 
fling  subjects  was  a  favorite  manner  of  attack  among  the  critics.  Erskine'i 
account  of  the  Buxton  baths  is  one  of  the  most  amusing.  When  several  ex- 
amples of  this  sort  were  shown  to  Johnson,  at  Edinburgh,  he  pronounced  that 
of  Lord  Dreghom  the  best:  ''but,"  s&id  he,  ''I  could  caricature  my  own 
style  much  better  myself." 

t  Ogllvie. 


TALL  WRITING.  219 

succession,  the  discovery  or  development  of  which  empowers 
an  intelligent  being,  by  means  of  one  event  or  phenomenon,  or 
by  a  series  of  given  events  or  phenomena,  to  anticipate  the  re- 
currence of  another  event  or  phenomenon,  or  of  a  required 
series  of  events  or  phenomena,  and  to  summon  them  into  exist- 
ence, and  employ  their  instrumentality  in  the  gratification  of 
his  wishes,  or  in  the  accomplishment  of  his  purposes. 

INDIGNANT  LETTER. 

Addressed  to  a  Louisiana  clergyman  by  a  Virginia  corre- 
spondent. 

Sir  : — ^You  have  behaved  like  an  impetiginous  acroyli — ^like 
those  inquinate  orosscrolest  who  envious  of  my  moral  celsitude 
cany  their  mngacity  to  the  height  of  creating  symposically  the 
fecund  words  which  my  polymathio  genius  uses  with  uberity  to 
abligate  the  tongues  of  the  weightless.  Sir,  you  have  oorassly 
parodied  my  own  pet  words,  as  though  they  were  tangrams.  I 
will  not  conceroate  reproaches.  I  would  obduce  a  veil  over  the 
atramental  ingratitude  which  has  chamiered  even  my  undbcep< 
tible  heart.  I  am  silent  on  the  fosoillation  which  my  coadful 
fancy  must  have  given  you  when  I  offered  to  become  your  fan- 
ton  and  adminicle.  I  will  not  speak  of  the  liptitude,  the  ab- 
lepsy  you  have  shown  in  exacerbating  me ;  one  whose  genius 
you  should  have  approached  with  mental  discalceation.  So,  I 
tell  you,  Sir,  syncophically  and  without  supervacaneous  words, 
nothing  will  render  ignoscible  your  conduct  to  me.  I  warn 
you  that  I  will  vellicate  your  nose  if  I  thought  your  moral  dia- 
thesis could  be  thereby  performed.  If  I  thought  that  I  should 
not  impigorate  my  reputation  by  such  a  degladiation.  Go 
tagygraphic ;  your  oness  inquinate  draws  oblectation  from  the 
greatest  poet  since  Milton,  and  draws  upon  your  head  this 
letter,  which  will  drive  you  to  Webster,  and  send  you  to  sleep 
over  it. 

<<  Knowledge  is  power,"  and  power  is  mercy;  so  I  wish  you 
10  roYOse  that  it  may  prove  an  external  hypnotic. 


220  TALL  WRITING. 

INTRAMURAL  -«8TIVATI0N. 

Id  oandent  ire  the  solar  splendor  flames ; 
The  foleS)  langaescent,  pend  fyom  arid  rames; 
Hia   humid  front  the  cive,  anheling,  wipes, 
And  dreams  of  erring  on  yentiferoas  ripes. 

How  doloe  to  riye  occult  to  mortal  eyes. 
Dorm  on  the  herb  with  none  to  superTise, 
Carp  the  suave  berries  from  the  crescent  vine. 
And  bibc  the  flow  from  longicandate  kine ! 

To  me,  alas !  no  verdurous  visions  come. 
Save  yon  exiguous  pool's  conferva-scum ; 
No  concave  vast  repeats  the  tender  hue 
That  laves  my  milk-jug  with  celestial  blue  1 

Me  wretched  !    Let  me  curr  to  quercine  shades  I 
Effund  your  albid  hausts,  lactiferous  maids ! 
Oh,  might  I  vole  to  some  umbrageous  dump,— 
Depart, — ^be  ofi^^-ezoede, — evade, — erump  ! 

Autoerat  of  the  Break/att-Tmbk, 

A  CHEMICAL   VALENTINE. 

I  love  ihee,  Mary,  and  thou  lovest  me, 

Our  mutual  flame  is  like  the  affinity 

That  doth  exist  between  two  simple  bodies. 

I  am  Potassium  to  thy  Oxygen ; 

'Tis  little  that  the  holy  marriage  vow 

Shall  shortly  make  us  one.     That  unity 

Is,  after  all,  but  metaphysical. 

Oh  !  would  that  I,  my  Mary,  were  an  Acid — 

A  living  Acid ;  thou  an  Alkali 

Endowed  with  human  sense ;  that,  brought  together. 

We  both  might  coalesce  into  one  Sal^ 

One  homogeneous  crystal.    Oh  that  thou 

Wert  Carbon,  and  myself  were  Hydrogen  ! 

We  would  unite  to  form  defiant  gas. 

Or  common  coal,  or  naphtha.  Would  to  heaven 

That  I  wore  Phosphorus,  and  thou  wert  Lime, 

And  we  of  Lime  composed  a  Phosphurot  I 

I'd  be  content  to  be  Sulphuric  Acid, 

So  that  thou  mightst  be  Soda.     In  that  case. 

We  should  be  Glauber's  Salt    Wert  thou  Magnesia 

Instead,  we'd  form  the  salt  that's  named  from  Epiom. 

Couldst  thou  Potassa  be,  I  Aquafortis, 

Our  happy  union  should  that  compound  form. 


TALL   WHITING.  221 

Nitrate  of  Potaah— otherwiie  Saltpetre. 

And  thiUy  our  aeyeral  natures  sweetly  blent 

We'd  live  and  love  together,  until  death 

Should  decompose  this  fleshlj  Tertium  Quid, 

Leaving  our  souls  to  all  eternity 

Amalgamated !    Sweet,  thy  name  is  Briggs, 

And  mine  is  Johnson.  Wherefore  should  not  we 

Agree  to  form  a  Johnsonato  of  Briggs? 

We  will  1  the  day,  the  happy  day  is  nigh, 

When  Jolmson  shall  with  beauteous  Briggs  eombine. 

THE  ANATOMIST  TO   HIS   DULGINEA. 

I  list  as  thy  heart  and  ascending  aorta 

Their  volumes  of  valvular  harmony  pour; 
And  my  soul  from  that  muaeular  musio  has  eaught  a 

Kew  life  'mid  its  diy  anatomioal  lore. 

Oh,  rare  is  the  sound  when  thy  ventrioles  tlirob 

In  a  systolic  symphony  measured  and  slow. 
When  the  auricles  answer  with  rhythmioal  sob. 

As  they  murmur  a  melody  wondrously  low  I 

Oh,  thy  cornea,  love,  has  the  radiant  light 
Of  the  sparkle  that  laughs  in  the  icicle's  sheen ; 

And  thy  crystalline  lens,  like  a  diamond  bright. 
Through  the  quivering  frame  of  thine  iris  is  seen! 

And  thy  retina,  spreading  its  lustre  of  pearl. 

Like  the  far-away  nebula,  distantly  gleams 
From  a  vault  of  black  cellular  mirrors  that  hurl 

From  their  hexagon  angles  the  silvery  beams. 

Ah  I  the  flash  of  those  orbs  is  enslaving  me  still. 
As  they  roll  'neath  the  palpebne,  dimly  translucent 

Obeying  in  silence'  the  magical  will 
Of  the  oculo-motor — ^pathetic — abducent. 

Oh,  sweet  is  thy  voice,  as  it  sighingly  swells 

From  the  daintily  quivering  chorda  vocales. 
Or  rings  in  dear  tones  through  the  echoing  cells 

Of  the  antrum,  the  ethmoid,  and  sinus  frontalesl 

ODE  TO   SPRING. 

WRITTXH  IN  A  LAWYKR'S   OmCX. 

Whereas  on  sundry  boughs  and  sprays 

Now  divers  birds  are  heard  to  sing. 
And  sundry  flowers  their  heads  upraise** 

HaU  to  the  coming  on  of  Spring! 


22S:  TALL  WRITING. 

The  birds  aforesaid^  happj  puri ! 

Love  midst  the  aforesaid  boughs  enshrines 
In  household  nests,  themselves,  their  heirs. 

Administrators,  and  assigns. 

The  songs  of  the  said  birds  arouse 

The  memory  of  our  youthful  hours. 
As  young  and  green  as  the  said  boughs. 

As  fresh  and  fair  as  the  said  flowers. 

0  busiest  term  of  Cupid's  court! 

When  tender  plaintifb  actions  bring; 
Season  of  frolic  and  of  sport. 

Hail,  as  aforesaid,  coming  Spring! 

PRISTINE    PROVERBS    PREPARED    FOR    PRECOCIOUS    PUPILa 

Observe  yon  plumed  biped  flue ! 

To  effect  his  eaptivation. 
Deposit  particles  saline 

Upon  his  termination. 

Cryptogamous  concretion  never  grows 
On  mineral  fragments  that  decline  repose. 

Whilst  self-inspection  it  neglects, 

Nor  its  own  foul  condition  sees. 
The  kettle  to  the  pot  objects 

Its  sordid  superficies. 

Decortications  of  the  golden  grain 
Are  set  to  allure  the  aged  fowl,  in  vain. 

Teach  not  a  parent's  mother  to  extract 
The  embryo  juices  of  an  egg  by  suction : 

That  good  old  lady  can  the  feat  enact, 

Quite  irrespective  of  your  kind  instruction. 

Pecuniary  agencies  bare  force 

To  stimulate  to  speed  the  female  horse. 

Bear  not  to  yon  famed  city  upon  Tyne 
The  carbonaceous  product  of  the  mine. 

The  mendicant,  once  from  his  indigence  freed. 
And  mounted  aloft  on  the  generous  steed, 
Down  the  precipice  soon  will  infallibly  go, 
And  conclude  his  career  in  the  regions  below. 
It  is  permitted  to  the  feline  race 
To  eontemplate  even  a  regal  face. 


MKTEIO  PB08X.  223 

fiSlttxit  ^toat. 

Quid  tentaham  tcribere  vernu  erat. — Otid. 
COWPEB'S   LETTEB  to   NEWTON. 

The  following  letter  was  written  to  Rev.  John  Newton,  by 
William  Cowper,  in  reference  to  a  poem  On  Charity ^  by  the 
latter:— 

My  yeiy  dear  firiend,  I  am  going  to  send,  what  when  you 
have  read,  you  may  scratch  your  head,  and  say  I  suppose, 
there's  nobody  knows,  whether  what  I  have  got,  be  verse  or 
not; — ^by  the  tune  and  the  time,  it  ought  to  be  rhyme;  but  if 
it  be,  did  ever  you  see,  of  late  or  of  yore,  such  a  ditty  before? 

I  have  writ  "  Charity,"  not  for  popularity,  but  as  well  as  I 
could,  in  hopes  to  do  good;  and  if  the  "Reviewer"  should  say 
to  be  sure,  the  gentleman's  muse  wears  Methodist  shoes,  you 
may  know  by  her  pace,  and  talk  about  grace,  that  she  and  her 
bard  have  little  regard  for  the  tastes  and  fashions,  and  ruling 
passions,  and  hoydening  play,  of  the  modern  day;  and  though 
she  assume  a  borrowed  plume,  and  now  and  then  wear  a  titter- 
ing air,  'tis  only  her  plan,  to  catch  if  she  can,  the  giddy  and 
gay,  as  they  go  that  way,  by  a  production  of  a  new  construc- 
tion; she  has  baited  her  trap,  in  the  hope  to  snap  all  that  may 
come,  with  a  sugar-plum.  His  opinion  in  this  will  not  be 
amiss;  'tis  what  I  intend,  my  principal  end;  and  if  I  succeed, 
and  folks  should  read,  till  a  few  are  brought  to  a  serious  thought, 
I  shall  think  I  am  paid  for  all  I  have  said,  and  all  I  have  done, 
although  I  have  run,  many  a  time,  after  a  rhyme,  as  far  as 
from  hence  to  the  end  of  my  sense,  and  by  hook  or  by  crook, 
write  another  book,  if  I  live  and  am  here  another  year. 

I  have  heard  before  of  a  room  with  a  floor,  laid  upon  springs, 
and  such-like  things,  with  so  much  art  in  every  part,  that  when 
you  went  in,  you  were  forced  to  begin  a  minuet  pace,  with  an 
air  and  a  grace,  swimming  about,  now  in  and  now  out,  with  a 


224  METRIC  PB08E. 

deal  of  a  state,  in  a  figure  of  eight,  without  pipe  or  string,  or 
any  such  thing;  and  now  I  have  writ,  in  a  rhyming  fit,  what 
will  make  you  dance,  and,  as  you  advance,  will  keep  you  still, 
though  against  your  will,  dancing' away,  alert  and  gay,  till  you 
come  to  an  end  of  what  I  have  penned,  which  that  you  may 
do,  ere  madam  and  you  are  quite  worn  out  with  jigging  about, 
I  take  my  leave,  and  here  you  receive  a  bow  profound,  down 
to  the  ground,  from  you  humble  me — W.  C. 

EXAMPLE  IN  IEVING'S  NEW  YORK. 

The  following  remarkable  instance  of  involuntary  poetic 
prose  occurs  in  Knickerbocker's  humorous  history  of  New  York, 
near  the  commencement  of  the  Sixth  Book: — 

The  gallant  warrior  starts  from  soft  repose,  from  golden 
visions  and  voluptuous  ease;  where,  in  the  dulcet  "piping 
time  of  peace,*'  he  sought  sweet  solace  after  all  his  toils.  No 
more  in  beauty's  siren  lap  reclined,  he  weaves  fair  garlands 
for  his  lady's  brows ;  no  more  entwines  with  flowers  his  shining 
sword,  nor  through  the  livelong  summer's  day  chants  forth 
his  love-sick  soul  in  madrigals.  To  manhood  roused,  he  spurns 
the  amorous  flute,  doffs  from  his  brawny  back  the  robe  of  peace, 
and  clothes  his  pampered  limbs  in  panoply  of  sted.  O'er  his 
dark  brow,  where  late  the  myrtle  waved,  where  wanton  roses 
breathed  enervate  love,  he  rears  the  beaming  casque  and  nod- 
ding plume;  grasps  the  bright  shield  and  ponderous  lance,  or 
mounts  with  eager  pride  his  fiery  steed,  and  burns  for  deeds  of 
glorious  chivalry. 

In  D'Israeli's  Wondrous  Tale  of  Alvoy,  are  remarkable 
specimens  of  prose  poetry.     For  example: — 

Why  am  I  here?  are  you  not  here?  and  need  I  urge  a  stronger  plea? 
Ob,  brother  dear,  I  pray  you  oome  and  mingle  in  our  festival !  Our  walls 
are  hung  with  flowers  you  love;  I  culled  them  by  the  fountain's  side;  the 
holy  lamps  are  trimmed  and  set,  and  you  must  raise  tbeir  earliest  flame. 
Without  the  gate  my  maidens  wait  to  offer  you  a  robe  of  state.  Then^ 
brother  dear,  I  pray  you  come  and  mingle  in  our  festival. 


'METRIC  PBOSl. 


NELLT^S  FUNERAL. 

In  Horne'fl  New  Spirit  of  the  Age, — a  series  of  oriticisms 
on  eminent  living  anthers, — we  find  an  admirable  example  of 
prose  poetry  thus  noticed : — 

A  curions  oircnmstanoe  is  observable  in  a  great  portion 
of  the  scenes  of  tragic  poweri  pathos,  and  tenderness  coDtained 
in  various  parts  of  Mr.  Dickens's  works,  which  it  is  possible 
may  have  been  the  result  of  harmonious  accident,  and  the 
author  not  even  subsequently  conscious  of  it.  It  is  that  they 
are  written  in  blank  verse,  of  irregular  metre  and  rhythms, 
which  Southey,  and  Shelley,  and  some  other  poets,  have  occa- 
sionally adopted.  Witness  the  following  description  from  The 
Old  Ourioiity  Shop. 

And  now  the  bell — ^the  bell 
She  had  so  often  heard  by  night  and  day 
And  listened  to  with  loUd  pleaiun^ 

E'en  01  a  liying  voioe — 
Rung  ita  remoneleM  toll  for  her, 
So  joongy  so  beaatifoly  so  good. 

Decrepit  age,  and  rigorous  life, 
And  blooming  youth,  and  helpless  infancy, 
Poured  forth — on  crutches,  in  the  pride  of  strength 

And  health,  in  the  full  blush 
Of  promise— the  mere  dawn  of  life — 
To  gather  round  her  tomb.    Old  men  were  there 

Whose  eyes  were  dim 

And  senses  failing — 
Granddames,  who  might  have  died  ten  yean  ago^ 
And  still  been  old — ^the  deaf,  the  blind,  the  lame. 

The  palsied. 
The  living  dead  in  many  shapes  and  forms. 
To  see  the  closing  of  this  early  grave  ! 

What  was  the  death  it  would  shut  in, 
To  that  which  still  would  crawl  and  creep  above  it  t 

Along  the  crowded  path  they  bore  her  now ; 

Pale  as  the  new-fallen  snow 
That  covered  it;  whose  day  on  earth 
Had  been  so  fleeting. 
P 


226  METRIC   PROSE. 

Under  that  poroh  where  she  had  sat  when  Heaven 
In  meroy  brought  her  to  that  peaceful  spot. 

She  passed  again,  and  the  old  chnroh 

Received  her  in  its  quiet  shade. 

Throughout  the  whole  of  the  above,  only  two  unimportant 
words  have  been  omitted — in  and  its  ;  "  granddames"  has  been 
substituted  for  "grandmothers,"  and  **  e'en"  for  "almost." 
All  that  remains  is  exactly  as  in  the  original,  not  a  single  word 
transposed,  and  the  punctuation  the  same  to  a  comma.  The 
brief  homily  that  concludes  the  funeral  is  profoundly  beautiful. 

Oh  I  it  is  hard  to  take 
The  lesson  that  such  deaths  will  teach. 
But  let  no  man  reject  it. 
For  it  is  one  that  aU  must  learn 
And  is  a  mighty  universal  Truth. 
When  Death  strikes  down  the  innocent  and  young, 
For  every  fragile  form  from  which  he  lets 
The  parting  spirit  free, 
A  hundred  virtues  rise, 
In  shapes  of  mercy,  charity,  and  love, 
To  walk  the  world  and  bless  it 
Of  every  tear 
That  sorrowing  mortals  shed  on  such  green  graves, 
Some  good  is  bom,  some  gentler  nature  comes. 

Not  a  word  of  the  original  is  changed  in  the  above  quo- 
tation, which  is  worthy  of  the  best  passages  in  Wordsworth, 
and  thus,  meeting  on  the  common  ground  of  a  deeply  truthful 
sentimenty  the  two  most  unlike  men  in  the  literature  of  the 
country  are  brought  into  close  proximation. 

The  following  similar  passage  is  from  the  concluding  para- 
graph of  Nicholas  NicMehi/  : — 

The  grass  was  green  above  the  dead  boy's  grave. 

Trodden  by  feet  so  small  and  light. 

That  not  a  daisy  drooped  its  head 
Beneath  their  pressure. 

Through  all  the  spring  and  summer  time 
Garlands  of  fresh  flowers,  wreathed  by  infant  hands, 

Rested  upon  the  stone. 


METRIC  PBOSS.  227 

NIAGARA. 

The  same  rhythmic  cadence  is  observahle  in  the  following 
passage^  copied  Terbatim  from  the  American  Notes : — 

I  think  in  every  qniet  eeaflon  now, 

Still  do  those  watera  roll,  and  leap,  and  roar, 

And  tumble  all  day  long ; 
Still  are  the  rainbows  spanning  them 

A  hundred  feet  below. 
Still  when  the  sun  is  on  them,  do  they  shine 

And  glow  like  molten  gold. 
Still  when  the  day  is  gloomy  do  they  fall 

Like  snow,  or  seem  to  crumble  away. 

Like  the  front  of  a  great  chalk  cliff, 
Or  roll  adown  the  rock  like  dense  white  smoke. 

But  always  does  this  mighty  stream  appear 

To  die  as  it  comes  down. 
And  always  from  the  unfathomable  grave 
Arises  that  tremendous  ghost  of  spray 
And  mist  which  is  never  laid: 

Whioh  has  haunted  this  place 
With  the  same  dread  solemnity, 

Since  darkness  brooded  on  the  deep 
And  that  first  flood  before  the  Deluge^Light 

Came  rushing  on  Creation  at  the  word  of  God. 

To  any  one  who  reads  this  we  need  not  say  that  but  three 
lines  in  it  vary  at  all  from  the  closest  requisitions  of  an  iambic 
moyement.  The  measure  is  precisely  of  the  kind  which  Mr. 
Southey  so  often  used.  For  the  reader's  convenience,  we  copy 
from  ThcUaba  his  well  remembered  lines  on  Night,  as  an  in- 
stance : — 

How  beantiful  is  Night ! 

'A  dewy  freshness  fills  the  silent  ur. 
No  mist  obscures,  nor  cloud,  nor  speck,  nor  stain 

Breaks  the  serene  of  heaven. 
In  full  orbed  glory  yonder  Moon  divine 

Rolls  through  the  dark  blue  depths. 

Beneath  her  steady  ray 

The  desert  circle  spreads, 
Like  the  round  ocean,  girdled  with  the  sky. 

How  beautiful  is  Night! 


228  METBIG  PROSE. 

INVOLUNTART  VERSIFICATION  IN  THE  SCRIPTURES. 

The  hezametric  cadence  in  the  authorized  translation  of  the 
Bible  has  been  pointed  out  in  another  portion  of  this  volume. 
It  is  very  noticeable  in  such  passages  as  these,  for  example,  from 
the  Second  Psalm : — 

Why  do  the  heathen  rage  and  the  people  imagine  a  vain  thing  ? 
Kings  of  the  earth  set  themselves  and  the  rulers  take  counsel  together. 

The  anapsdstic  cadence  prevalent  in  the  Psalms  is  also  very 
remarkable : — 

That  will  bring  forth  his  fruit  in  due  season. — t.  6 
Whatsoever  he  doth  it  shall  prosper. — v.  4. 
Away  from  the  faoe  of  the  earth. — t.  5. 
Be  able  to  stand  in  the  judgment. — v.  6. 
The  way  of  th'  ungodly  shall  perish. — v.  7. 

Couplets  may  be  drawn  from  the  same  inspired  source,  as 
follows : — 

Great  peace  hare  they  that  love  thy  law : 
And  nothing  shall  offend  them. — Psalm,  cxiz.  165. 

Thou  wilt  keep  him  in  perfect  peace 
Whose  mind  is  stayed  on  thee. — Isaiah,  xxTi.  3. 

When  his  branch  is  yet  tender,  and  putteth  forth  leaves, 
Te  know  that  the  summer  is  nigh. — Matthew,  xxiv.  32t 

UNINTENTIONAL  RHYMES  OF  PROSERS. 

The  delicate  ear  of  Addison,  who  would  stop  the  press  to  add 
a  conjunction,  or  erase  a  comma,  allowed  this  inel^ant  jingle 
to  escape  his  detection: — 

What  I  am  going  to  mention,  will  perhaps  deserve  your  attention. 

Dr.  Whewell,  when  Master  of  Trinity  College,  fell  into  a 
similar  trap,  to  the  great  amusement  of  his  readers.  In  his 
work  on  Mechanics^  he  happened  to  write  literatim  and  verbatim^ 
though  not  linecUim,  the  following  tetrastich : — 

There  is  no  force,  howeyer  great,  * 

Can  stretch  a  cord,  however  fine^ 
Into  a  borixontal  line, 
Which  is  accurately  straight. 


METRIC  PB08E.  229 

A  curioiiB  instance  of  iiivoluntary  rhythm  occurs  in  President 
Lincoln's  Second  Inaugural  Address : — 

Fondly  do  we  hope. 

Fervently  do  we  pray, 
That  thi«  mighty  scourge  of  war 

May  speedily  pass  away : 
Yet  if  be  God's  will 
That  it  eontinae  until —  " 

but  here  the  strain  abruptly  ceases,  and  the  President  relapses 
into  prose. 

In  the  course  of  a  discussion  upon  the  involuntary  metre 

into  which  Shakspeare  so  frequently  fell,  when  he  intended  his 

minor  characters  to  speak  prose,  Dr.  Johnson  observed ; 

**  Such  verse  we  make  when  we  are  writing  prose ; 
We  make  such  verse  in  common  conversation." 

Kemble  and  Mrs.  Siddons^  from  their  habit  of  committing 
to  memory  and  reciting  dramatic  blank  verse,  unconsciously 
made  their  most  ordinaiy  observations  in  that  measure.  Kemble, 
for  instance,  on  giving  a  shilling  to  a  b^gar,  thus  answered 
the  surprised  look  of  his  companion : — 

**  It  is  not  often  that  I  do  these  things. 
But  when  I  do,  I  do  them  handsomely." 

And  once  when,  in  a  walk  with  Walter  Scott  on  the  banks  of 
the  Tweed,  a  dangerous  looking  bull  made  his  appearance,  Scott 
took  the  water,  Kemble  exclaimed : — 

"  Sheriff,  ni  get  me  up  in  yonder  tree." 

The  presence  of  danger  usually  makes  a  man  speak  naturally, 
if  anything  will.  If  a  reciter  of  blank  verse,  then,  fall  uncon- 
sciously into  the  rhythm  of  it  when  intending  to  speak  prose, 
much  more  may  an  habitual  writer  of  it  be  expected  to  do  so. 
Instances  of  the  kind  from  the  table-talk  of  both  Kemble  and 
his  sister  might  be  multiplied.     This  of  Mrs.  Siddons, — 

"  I  asked  for  water,  hoy ;  you've  brought  me  beer, " 

is  one  of  the  best  known. 

20 


230  THE  HUMORS   OF  VERSIFICATION. 


C;f)e  |^umor«  of  VnMcaiUm. 


THE   LOVERS. 

IK  DXrrERKNT  MOODS  AND  TEN6X8. 

Sally  Salter,  she  was  a  young  teaoher  who  taught, 

And  her  friend,  Charley  Charcb,  was  a  preacher,  who  pranghtt 

Though  his  enemies  called  him  a  screecher,  who  scraught. 

His  heart,  when  he  saw  her,  kept  sinking,  and  sunk; 
And  his  eye,  meeting  hers,  began  winking,  and  wunk; 
While  she,  in  her  turn,  fell  to  thinking,  and  thunk. 

He  hastened  to  woo  her,  and  sweetly  he  wooed. 
For  his  love  grew  until  to  a  mountain  it  grewed. 
And  what  he  was  longing  to  do,  then  he  doed. 

In  secret  he  wanted  to  speak,  and  he  spoke, 

To  seek  with  his  lips  what  his  heart  long  had  soke; 

So  he  managed  to  let  the  truth  leak,  and  it  loke. 

He  asked  her  to  ride  to  the  church,  and  they  rode, 

They  so  sweetly  did  glide,  that  they  both  thought  they  glode^ 

And  they  came  to  the  place  to  be  tied,  and  were  tode. 

Then  homeward  he  said  let  us  drive,  and  they  drove, 
And  soon  as  they  wished  to  arrive,  they  arrove; 
For  whatever  he  couldn't  contrive,  she  oontrove. 

The  kiss  he  was  dying  to  steal,  then  he  stole ; 

At  the  feet  where  he  wanted  to  kneel,  then  he  knole; 

And  he  said,  "  I  feel  bolter  than  ever  I  fole." 

So  they  to  each  other  kept  clinging,  and  clung, 
While  Time  his  swift  circuit  was  winging,  and  wung; 
And  this  was  the  thing  he  was  bringing  and  brung : 

The  man  Sally  wanted  to  catch,  and  had  caught — 

That  she  wanted  from  others  to  snatch,  and  had  snaught^ 

Was  the  one  she  now  liked  to  scratch,  and  she  scraught 

And  Charley's  warm  love  began  freezing  and  froze. 

While  he  took  to  teasing,  and  cruelly  toze 

The  girl  he  had  wished  to  be  squeezing,  and  iquoze. 

"  Wretch !"  he  cried,  when  she  threatened  to  leave  him,  and  left, 

**  How  could  you  deceive,  as  you  have  deceft  ?" 

And  she  answered,  "  I  promised  to  cleave,  and  I've  olefL" 


THE  HUMOBS  OF   VSBSIFICATION.  231 


A   STAMMERING  WIFE. 

When  deeply  in  love  with  Miss  Emily  Pryne^ 
I  vowed  if  the  lady  would  only  be  mine, 

I  would  always  be  ready  to  please  her; 
She  blushed  her  consent,. though  the  stuttering  lass 
Said  never  a  word  except  "You're  an  aas — 

An  ass — an  as»— iduous  teaser !" 

But  when  we  were  married,  I  found  to  my  ruth 
The  stammering  lady  had  spoken  the  truth; 

For  often,  in  obvious  dudgeon. 
She'd  say — if  I  ventured  to  give  her  a  jog 
In  the  way  of  reproof—"  You're  a  dog— dog— dog— 

A  dog — a  dog — ^matio  curmudgeon !" 

And  onoe,  when  I  said,  "We  can  hardly  afford 
This  immoderate  style  with  our  moderate  board," 

And  hinted  we  ought  to  be  wiser. 
She  looked,  I  assure  you,  exceedingly  blue. 
And  fretfully  cried,  "You're  a  Jew— Jew— Jew— 

A  very  ju-dioious  advi^r !" 

Again,  when  it  happened  that,  wishing  to  shirk 
Some  rather  unpleasant  and  arduous  work, 

I  begged  her  to  go  to  a  neighbor. 
She  wanted  to  know  why  I  made  such  a  fuss. 
And  saucily  said,  "  You're  a  ousa— cuss — cuss 

You  were  always  ao— ous — ^tomed  to  hibor!" 

Out  of  temper  at  last  with  the  insolent  dame. 
And  feeling  the  woman  was  greatly  to  blame. 

To  scold  me  instead  of  caressing, 
I  mimicked  her  speech,  like  a  churl  as  I  am, 
And  angrily  said,  "You're  a  dam— dam— dam— 

A  dam-age  instead  of  a  blessing." 


A  SONG  WITH   VARIATIONS. 
[ScKTB.— Wife  at  the  piano  j  brute  of  a  husband,  who  has  no  more  soul 
for  music  than  his  boot,  in  an  adjoining  apartment,  making  his  toilet] 
Oh !  do  not  chide  me  if  I  weep ! — 

Gome,  wife,  and  sew  this  button  on. 
Such  pain  as  mine  can  never  sleep  !— 
Zounds!  as  I  live,  another's  gone! 
For  unrequited  love  brings  grief, — 
A  needle,  wife,  and  bring  your  scissors. 


232  THE  HUMORS  OF   VBBSIFICATION. 

And  Pity'i  voice  gives  no  relief-^ 

The  child !  good  Lord !  he's  at  my  raxors ! 
No  balm  to  ease  the  troubled  heart, — 

Who  starched  this  bosom  ?    I  declare 
That  writhes  from  hate's  envenomed  dart! —  , 

It's. enough  to  make  a  parson  swear! 
When  faith  in  man  is  given  up — 

How  plaguey  shiftless  are  some  women  1 
Then  sorrow  fills  her  bitter  cup — 

I'll  have  to  get  my  other  linen. 
And  to  its  lees  the  white  lips  quaff— 

Smith  says  he's  coming  in  to-night. 
While  Malice  yields  her  mocking  laugh ! — 

With  Mrs.  S.,  and  Jones  and  Wright 
Oh !  could  I  stifle  in  my  breast — 

And  Jones  will  bring  some  prime  old  sheny. 
This  aching  heart,  and  give  it  rest, — 

We'll  want  some  eggs  for  Tom-and-Jerry 
Could  Lethe's  waters  o'er  me  roll, — 

These  stockings  would  look  better  mended ! 
And  bring  oblivion  to  my  soul, — 

When-will-you-have-that-ditty-ended? 
Then  haply  I,  in  other  skies, — 

We'd  better  have  the  oysters  fried. 
Might  find  the  love  that  earth  denies ! 

There !  now  at  last  my  dickey's  tied ! 

THOUGHTS   WHILE   SHE  ROCKS  THE  CRADLE. 
What  is  the  little  one  thinking  about? 
Very  wonderful  thing,  no  doubt. 
Unwritten  history ! 
Unfathomable  mystery ! 
But  he  laughs  and  cries,  and  eats  and  drinks. 
And  chuckles  and  crows,  and  nods  and  winks, 
As  if  his  head  were  as  full  of  kinks. 
And  curious  riddles,  as  any  sphinx  I 
Warped  by  colic  and  wet  by  tears, 
Punctured  by  pins,  and  tortured  by  fean. 
Our  little  nephew  will  lose  two  years; 
And  hell  never  know 
Where  the  summers  go: 
He  need  not  laugh,  for  he'll  find  it  so ! 

Who  can  tell  what  the  baby  thinks  ? 
Who  oan  follow  the  gossamer  links 


THS  HUMORS  OF   VERSIFICATION.  233 

B7  which  the  manikin  feels  his  way 
Oat  from  the  shores  of  the  great  nnknown^ 
Blind,  and  wailing,  and  alone. 

Into  the  light  of  day  ? 
Out  from  the  shores  of  the  unknown  sea, 
Tossing  in  pitiful  agony ! 
Of  the  unknown  sea  that  reels  and  rolls, 
Speeked  with  the  barks  of  little  souls- 
Barks  that  were  launched  on  the  other  side. 
And  slipped  from  heayen  on  an  ebbing  tide! 

And  what  does  he  think  of  his  mother's  eyes? 
What  does  he  think  of  his  mother's  hair  ? 

What  of  the  cradle  roof  that  flies 
Forward  and  backward  through  the  air? 

What  does  he  think  of  his  mother's  breast^ 
Bare  and  beautiful,  smooth  and  white. 
Seeking  it  ever  with  fresh  delight — 

Cup  of  his  joy  and  couch  of  his  rest  ? 
What  does  he  think  when  her  quick  embrace 
Presses  his  hand  and  buries  his  face 
Deep  where  the  heart-throbs  sink  and  swell 
With  a  tenderness  she  can  never  tell. 

Though  she  murmur  the  words 

Of  all  the  birds- 
Words  she  has  learned  to  murmur  well  ? 

Now  he  thinks  hell  go  to  sleep ! 

I  can  see  the  shadow  creep 

Over  his  eyes,  in  soft  eclipse. 

Over  his  brow,  and  over  his  lips, 

Out  to  his  little  finger  tips. 

Softly  sinking,  down  he  goes ! 

Down  he  goes !  down  he  goes ! 

[Rising  and  carefully  retreating  to  her  seat.] 

See !  he  is  hushed  in  sweet  repose ! 

A   SERIO-COMIC   ELEGY. 

WHATKLY  ON   BUCKLAND. 

In  his  "Common-Place  Book,"  the  late  Archbishop  Whately 
records  the  following  Elegy  on  the  late  geologist,  Dr.Buckland: 

Where  shall  we  our  great  professor  inter. 

That  in  peace  may  rest  his  bones  ? 
If  we  hew  him  a  rocky  sepulchre 

He'll  rise  and  break  the  stones, 
And  examine  each  stratum  which  lies  around. 
For  he's  quite  in  his  element  underground. 
20* 


234  THE  HUMOBS  OF  VERSIFICATION. 

If  with  mattock  and  spade  his  body  ire  lay 

In  the  oommon  allavial  soil, 
He'll  start  up  and  snatch  these  tools  away 

Of  his  own  geological  toil; 
In  a  stratum  so  young  the  professor  disdains 
That  embedded  should  lie  his  organic  remains. 

Then  exposed  to  the  drip  of  some  ease-hardening  spring, 

His  carcase  let  stalactite  corer, 
And  to  Oxford  the  petrified  sage  let  ns  bring, 

When  he  is  encrusted  all  oyer; 
There,  'mid  mammoths  and  crocodiles,  high  on  a  shelf. 
Let  him  stand  as  a  monument  raised  to  himself. 


A   REMINISCENCE  OF  TROT. 

FROM  THX  SCHOLIAST. 


It  was  the  ninth  year  of  the  Trojan  i 

A  tedious  pull  at  best : 
A  lot  of  us  wore  sitting  by  the  shore— 

Tydides,  Phocas,  Castor,  and  the  rest — 
Some  whittling  shingles  and  some  stringing  bows. 
And  cutting  up  our  friends,  and  cutting  up  our  foes. 

Down  from  the  tents  above  there  eame  a  man. 
Who  took  a  camp-stool  by  Tydides'  side. 

He  joined  our  talk,  and,  pointing  to  the  pan 
Upon  the  embers  where  our  pork  was  fried, 

Said  he  would  eat  the  onions  and  the  leeks. 

But  that  fried  pork  was  food  not  fit  for  Greeks. 

^Look  at  the  men  of  Thebes,"  he  said,  "and  then 
Look  at  those  cowards  in  the  plains  below: 

Tou  see  how  ox-like  are  the  ox-fed  men; 
You  see  how  sheepish  inutton -eaters  grow. 

Stick  to  this  vegetable  food  of  mine: 
Men  who  eat  pork  grunt,  root  and  sleep  like  swine." 

Some  laughed,  and  some  grew  mad,  and  some  grew  red : 
The  pork  was  hissing ;  but  his  point  was  clear. 

Still  no  one  answered  him,  till  Nestor  said, 
"One  inference  that  I  would  draw  is  here: 

You  vegetarians,  who  thus  educate  us, 
Thus  far  have  turned  out  very  small  potatoes." 


THE  HUMOES  OF  YEBSIFICATION.  235 

THE  POET  BRTANT  AS   A   HUMORIST. 

Those  who  are  familiar  with  Mr.  LowelFs  Fable  for  CnHcSf 
will  remember  the  lines : — 

There  is  Bryant,  m  quiet,  m  oooI,  and  as  dignified. 

As  a  smooth,  silent  ioeberg,  that  never  is  ignified, 

Saye  when  by  refleotion  'tis  kindled  'o  nights 

With  a  semblance  of  flame  by  the  ohill  Northern  Lights. 

He  may  rank  (Griswold  says  so)  first  bard  of  your  nation; 

(There's  no  doubt  he  stands  in  supreme  ice-olation,) 

Yoor  topmost  Parnassus  he  may  set  his  heel  on. 

But  no  warm  applauses  come,  peal  following  peal  on — 

He's  too  smooth  and  too  polished  to  hang  any  seal  on; 

Unqualified  merits,  I'll  grant,  if  you  choose,  he  has  'em^ 

But  he  lacks  the  one  merit  of  kindling  enthusiasm; 

If  he  stir  you  at  all,  it  is  just,  on  my  soul. 

Like  being  stirred  up  by  the  yery  North  Pole. 

The  Cambridge  wit  has  either  misjudged  the  character  of 
BrjaDt's  gCDios,  or  he  has  sacrificed  a  man  to  an  epigram,  and 
subordinated  fact  to  AJeu  cT esprit.  Though  ''quiet  and  digni- 
fied/' Mr.  Bryant  possesses  a  rare  vein  of  humor,  but  its 
bubbling  fancies  are  not  generally  known  or  suspected  for 
the  reason  that  he  unbends  anonymously.  Only  one  of  the 
diversions  of  his  muse  appears  in  his  published  works — and 
that  is  his  invocation  "  To  a  Mosquito/'  which  begins  thus  :-* 

Fair  insect !  that  with  thread-like  legs  spread  out. 
And  blood-extracting  bill  and  filmy  wing, 

Dost  murmur,  as  thou  slowly  sail'st  about, 
In  pitiless  ears  full  many  a  plaintive  thing. 

And  tell  how  little  our  large  veins  would  bleed, 

Would  we  but  yield  them  to  thy  bitter  need. 

One  day,  when  Mr.  Bryant  discovered  in  a  fresh  number 
of  the  Atlantic  MtrnMy  a  so-called  poem,  which  struck  him  as 
uncommonly  absurd,  he  sat  down  and  produced  a  travesty  of 
it,  which  was  much  more  efiective  in  its  ridicule  than  any 
sharper  criticism  could  have  been  made.  Here  are  the  two 
in  oonjuDCtion : — 


236  THE  HUMORS  OF  VERSIFICATION. 

THE   "ATI*ANTIO"   POEM. 

Bellying  earth  no  anchor  throwi 
Stouter  than  the  breath  that  blows; 
Night  and  sorrow  cling  in  vain; 
It  must  toss  in  day  again. 

Hospital  and  battle-field. 
Myriad  spots  where  fate  is  sealed. 
Brinks  that  crumble,  sins  that  urge^ 
Plunge  again  into  the  surge. 

How  the  purple  breakers  throw 
Round  me  their  insatiate  glow. 
Sweep  my  deck  of  hideous  freight. 
Pour  through  fastening  and  grate. 

Bryant's  travesty. 

Squint-eyed  bacchanals  at  play. 
Keep  a  Lybian  holiday. 
Leading  trains  of  solemn  apes, 
Tipsy  with  the  blood  of  grapes. 

Forty  furies — thirty  more 
Than  old  Milton  had  before — 
Scattering  sparkles  from  their  hair. 
Swing  their  censers  in  the  air. 

Toss  the  flaming  goblet  off, 
Heed  not  ocean's  windy  scoff; 
Let  him  dash  against  the  shore. 
Gape  and  grin,  and  sweat  and  roar. 

Since  which  time  nothing  has  been  heard  of  the  Atlantic 
poet!  Only  those  who  were  *^ behind  the  scenes/'  in  the 
office  of  the  Evening  Post,  in  the  year  1863,  knew  the  author- 
ship of  the  burlesque — and  the  burlesque  itself  will  neyer 
appear  in  the  poet's  ^^  collected  works." 

on  receipt  of  a  rare  pipe. 

I  lifted  off  the  lid  with  anxious  care, 
Bemoyed  the  wrappages,  stripe  after  stripe. 

And  when  the  hidden  contents  were  laid  bare. 
My  first  remark  was :  ''Mercy,  what  a  pipe!** 


THB  HUMORS  OF  YEBSIFl CATION.  237 

A  pipe  of  symmetry  that  matched  its  sise, 

Moanted  with  metal  bright — a  sight  to  Bee» 
With  the  rich  nmber  hae  that  smokers  prise, 

Attesting  both  its  age  and  pedigree. 

A  pipe  to  make  the  Royal  Friedrich  jealous. 

Or  the  great  Teafeladr&ck  with  envy  gripe ! 
A  man  should  hold  some  rank  above  his  fellows 

To  justify  his  smoking  such  a  Pipe  1 

What  country  gave  it  birth  ?    What  blest  of  cities 

Saw  it  first  kindle  at  the  glowing  coal? 
What  happy  artist  murmured,  "Nunc  dimittu** 

When  he  had  fashioned  this  transcendent  bowl? 

Has  it  been  hoarded  in  a  monarch's  treasures  ? 

Was  it  a  gift  of  peace,  or  prixe  of  war? 
Did  the  great  Khalif  in  his  *' House  of  Pleasures" 

Wager,  and  lose  it  to  the  good  Zaafar  ? 

It  may  have  soothed  mild  Spenser's  melancholy, 

While  musing  o'er  traditions  of  the  past. 
Or  graced  the  lips  of  brave  Sir  Walter  Raleigh 

Ere  sage  King  Jamie  blew  his  Counterblast. 

Did  it,  safe  hidden  in  some  secret  cavern, 

Escape  that  monarch's  pipoclastic  ken  ? 
Has  Shakespeare  smoked  it  at  the  Mermaid  Tavern, 

QuafiBng  a  cup  of  sack  with  rare  old  Ben  ? 

Ay,  Shakespeare  might  have  watched  his  vast  creations 
Loom  through  its  smoke — the  speotre-haunted  Thane, 

The  Sisters  at  their  ghastly  invocations, 
The  jealous  Moor  and  melancholy  Dane. 

'Round  its  orbed  haze  and  through  its  masy  ringlets 

Titania  may  have  led  her  elfin  rout, 
Or  Ariel  fanned  it  with  his  gauzy  winglets, 

Or  Puck  danced  in  the  bowl  to  put  it  out. 

Vain  are  all  fancies — questions  bring  no  answer; 

The  smokers  vanish,  but  the  pipe  remains; 
He  were  indeed  a  subtle  necromancer 

Could  read  their  records  in  its  cloudy  stains. 

Nor  this  alone :  its  destiny  may  doom  it 

To  outlive  e'en  its  use  and  history — 
Some  plowman  of  the  future  may  exhume  it 

From  soil  now  deep  beneath  the  Eastern 


238  THE   HUMORS  OF  VERSIFICATION. 

Andy  treasured  by  some  antiqnarian  Stultas, 

It  may  to  gaping  visitors  be  shown. 
Labeled,  "The  symbol  of  some  ancient  Cnltas, 

Coxgectarally  Phallio,  bat  unkown." 

Why  do  I  thus  recall  the  anoient  quarrel 
'Twizt  Man  and  Time,  that  marks  all  earthly  things  ? 

Why  labor  to  re-word  the  hackneyed  moral, 
"Of  ^Wiav  Y^vcii,  as  Homer  sings  ? 

For  this:  Some  links  we  forgo  are  neyer  broken ; 

Some  feelings  claim  exemption  from  decay ; 
And  Love,  of  which  this  pipe  was  but  the  token, 

Shall  last,  though  pipes  and  smokers  pass  away. 


THE   HUMAN   EAR. 

A  sound  came  booming  through  the  air— 
"What  is  that  sound?"  quoth  I. 

My  blue-eyed  pet,  with  golden  hair. 
Made  answer  presently, 

"  Papa,  you  know  it  very  well — 

That  sound— it  was  Saint  Panoras  Bell." 

My  own  Louise,  put  down  the  cat, 

And  come  and  stand  by  me; 
Vm  sad  to  hear  you  talk  like  that, 

Where's  your  philosophy  ? 
That  sound— attend  to  what  I  tell- 
That  sound  was  not  Saint  Pancras  Bell. 

"Sound  is  the  name  the  sage  selects 
For  the  concluding  term 
Of  a  long  series  of  effects. 

Of  which  that  blow's  the  germ. 
The  following  brief  analysis 
Shows  the  interpolations.  Miss. 

''The  blow  which,  when  the  clapper  slips. 
Falls  on  your  friend  the  Bell, 
Changes  its  circle  to  ellipse, 

(A  word  you'd  better  spell). 
And  then  comes  elasticity. 
Restoring  what  it  used  to  be. 

"Nay,  making  it  a  little  more. 
The  circle  shifts  about. 


THE  HTJM0B8  OV  VERSIFICATION.  239 

As  maoh  as  it  Bhrank  in  before 
The  Bell,  you  see,  swells  oat; 
And  so  a  new  ellipse  is  made, 
(You're  not  attending,  Pm  afraid). 

"This  change  of  form  disturbs  the  air, 

Which  in  its  turn  behayes 
In  like  elastic  fashion  there. 

Creating  waves  on  waves; 
Which  press  each  other  onward,  dear. 
Until  the  outmost  finds  your  ear. 

^Within  that  ear  the  surgeons  find 
A  tympanum,  or  drum. 
Which  has  a  little  bone  behind, — 

MaUeut,  it's  called  by  some; 
But  those  not  prcmd  of  Latin  Qrammar 
Humbly  translate  it  as  the  hammer. 

^The  waye's  vibrations  this  transmits 

On  to  the  incua  bone, 
(Tneus  means  anvil,  which  it  hits). 

And  this  transfers  the  tone 
To  tbe  small  09  orbieulare. 
The  tiniest  bone  that  people  cany. 

"  The  9tap€»  next — the  name  recalls 

A  stirrup's  form,  my  daughter- 
Joins  three  half-circular  canals, 

Each  filled  with  limpid  water; 
Their  curious  lining,  youll  obserye. 
Made  of  the  auditory  nerve. 

^'This  vibrates  next— and  then  we  find 
The  mystic  work  is  crowned ; 
For  then  my  daughter's  gentle  Mind 

First  recognises  sound. 
Bee  what  a  host  of  causes  swell 
To  make  up  what  you  call '  the  Bell.'  ** 

Awhile  she  paused,  my  bright  Louise, 

And  pondered  on  the  case; 
Then,  settling  that  he  meant  to  teaie^ 

She  slapped  her  father's  face. 
^'Tou  bad  old  man,  to  sit  and  tell 

Such  gibberygosh  about  a  Bell!" 


240  THE  HUMORS  OF  VEBSIFIOATION. 

SIB  tray:    an   ARTHURIAN   IDYL. 

The  widowed  Dame  of  Hubbard's  ancient  line 
Turned  to  her  cupboard,  cornered  anglewise 
Betwixt  this  wall  and  that,  in  quest  of  aught 
To  satisfy  the  craving  of  Sir  Tray, 
Prick-eared  companion  of  her  solitude. 
Red-spotted,  dirty  white,  and  bare  of  rib, 
Who  followed  at  her  high  and  pattering  heels, 
Prayer  in  his  eye,  prayer  in  his  slinking  gait. 
Prayer  in  his  pendulous  pulsating  taiL 
Wide  on  its  creaking  jaws  revolved  the  door. 
The  cupboard  yawned,  deep-throated,  thinly  set 
For  teeth,  with  bottles,  ancient  canisters. 
And  plates  of  various  pattern,  blue  or  white; 
Deep  in  the  void  she  thrust  her  hooked  nose 
Peering  near-sighted  for  the  wished-for  bone. 
Whiles  her  short  robe  of  samite,  tilted  high. 
The  thrifty  darnings  of  her  hose  revealed; — 
The  pointed  feature  travelled  o'er  the  delf 
Greasing  its  tip,  but  bone  or  bread  found  none 
Wherefore  Sir  Tray  abode  still  dinnerless, 
Licking  his  paws  beneath  the  spinning-wheel, 
And  meditating  much  on  savoury  meats. 

Meanwhile  the  Dame  in  high-backed  chair  repoied 
Revolving  many  memories,  for  she  gazed 
Down  from  her  lattice  on  the  self-same  path 
Whereby  Sir  Lancelot  'mid  the  reapers  rode 
When  Arthur  held  his  court  in  Camelot, 
And  she  was  called  the  Lady  of  Shalott 
And,  later,  where  Sir  Hubbard,  meekest  knight 
Of  all  the  Table  Round,  was  wont  to  pass. 
And  to  her  casement  glint  the  glance  of  love. 
(For  all  the  tale  of  how  she  floated  dead 
Between  the  city  walls,  and  how  the  Court 
Gazed  on  her  corpse,  was  of  illusion  framed, 
And  shadows  raised  by  Merlin's  magid  art. 
Ere  Vivien  shut  him  up  within  the  oak.) 
There  stood  the  wheel  whereat  she  spun  her  thread; 
But  of  the  magic  mirror  nought  remained 
Save  one  small  fragment  on  the  mantelpiece. 
Reflecting  her  changed  features  night  and  mom. 

But  now  the  inward  yearnings  of  Sir  Tray 
Grew  pressing,  and  in  hollow  rumblings  spaJce, 


THE  HUMOBS  OF  VERSIFICATION.  241 

Ab  in  tempestaoas  nighU  the  Northern  seal 

Within  their  oavem  cliffs  reverberate. 

This  tonched  her:  "I  have  marked  of  yore,"  she  said, 

''When  on  my  palfry  I  have  paced  along 

The  streets  of  Camelot,  while  many  a  knight 

Ranged  at  my  rein  and  thronged  upon  my  steps. 

Wending  in  pride  towards  the  tournament, 

A  wight  who  many  kinds  of  bread  purveyed — 

Muffins,  and  crumpets,  matutinal  rolls, 

And  buns  which  buttered,  soothe  at  evensong; 

To  him  I'll  hie  me  ere  my  purpose  cool. 

And  swift  returning,  bear  a  loaf  with  me. 

And  (for  my  teeth  be  tender  grown,  and  like 

Celestial  visits,  few  and  far  between) 

The  crust  shall  be  for  Tray,  the  crumb  for  me." 

This  spake  she;  from  their  peg  reached  straightway  down 

Her  cloak  of  sanguine  hue,  and  pointed  hat 

From  the  flat  brim  upreared  like  pyramid 

On  sands  Egyptian  where  the  Pharaohs  sleep, 

Her  ebon-handled  staff  (sole  palfiy  now) 

Grasped  firmly,  and  so  issued  swiftly  forth; 

Tet  ere  she  closed  the  latch  her  oat  Elaine, 

The  lily  kitten  reared  at  Astolat, 

Slipped  through  and  mewing  passed  to  greet  Sir  Tray. 

Returning  ere  the  shadows  eastward  fell. 
She  placed  a  porringer  upon  the  board. 
And  shred  the  crackling  crusts  with  liberal  hand, 
Nor  noted  how  Elaine  did  seem  to  wail, 
Rubbing  against  her  hose,  and  mourning  round 
Sir  Tray,  who  lay  all  prone  upon  the  hearth. 
Then  on  the  bread  she  poured  the  mellow  milk — 
"Sleep'st  thou?"  she  said,  and  touched  him  with  her  staff; 
"What,  ho !  thy  dinner  waits  thee!"    But  Sir  Tray 
Stirred  not  nor  breathed :  thereat,  alarmed,  she  seiied 
And  drew  the  hinder  leg :  the  carcase  moved 
All  over  wooden  like  a  piece  of  wood — 
"Dead?"  said  the  Dame,  while  louder  wailed  Elaine; 
"  I  see,"  she  said,  "  thy  fasts  were  all  too  long. 
Thy  commons  all  too  short,  which  shortened  thus 
Thy  days,  tho'  thou  mightst  still  have  cheered  mine  age 
Had  I  but  timelier  to  the  city  wonned. 
Thither  I  must  again,  and  that  right  soon, 
For  now  'tis  meet  we  htp  thee  in  a  shroud, 

21 


242  THE  HUMORS  01*  VERSIFICATION. 

And  lay  thee  in  the  vault  by  Astolat, 

Where  faithful  Tray  shall  by  Sir  Hubbard  lie." 

Up  a  by-lane  the  Undertaker  dwelt; 
There  day  by  day  he  plied  bis  merry  trade, 
And  all  his  undertakings  undertook : 
Erst  knight  of  Arthur's  Court,  Sir  Waldgraye  hight» 
A  gruesome  oarle  who  hid  his  jests  in  gloom. 
And  schooled  his  lid  to  counterfeit  a  tear. 
With  cheerful  hammer  he  a  coffin  tapt. 
While  hollow,  hollow,  hollow,  rang  the  wood. 
And,  as  he  sawed  and  hammered,  thus  he  sang : — 

Wood,  hammer,  nails,  ye  build  a  house  for  him. 
Nails,  hammer,  wood,  ye  build  a  house  for  me, 
Paying  the  rent,  the  taxes,  and  the  rates. 

I  plant  a  human  acorn  in  the  ground, 

And  therefrom  straightway  springs  a  goodly  tree, 

Budding  for  me  in  bread  and  beer  and  beef. 

0  Life,  dost  thou  bring  Death  or  Death  bring  thee? 
Which  of  the  twain  is  bringer,  which  the  brought? 
Since  men  must  die  that  other  men  may  lire. 

0  Death,  for  me  thou  plump'st  thine  hollow  cheeks, 
Mak'st  of  thine  antic  grin  a  pleasant  smile. 
And  prank'st  full  gaily  in  thy  winding  sheet 

This  ditty  sang  he  to  a  doleful  tune 

To  outer  ears  it  sounded  like  a  dirge, 

Or  wind  that  wails  across  the  fields  of  death. 

'Ware  of  a  visitor,  he  ceased  his  strain. 

But  still  did  ply  his  saw  industrious. 

With  withered  band  on  ear,  Dame  Hubbard  stood ; 

"Vex  not  mine  ears,"  she  grated,  "with  thine  old 

And  creaking  saw  \"    "I  deemed,"  he  said,  and  sighed, 

"  Old  saws  might  please  thee,  as  they  should  the  wise." 

" Enow,"  said  the  Dame,  "Sir  Tray  that  with  me  dwelt 

Lies  on  my  lonely  hearthstone  stark  and  stiff; 

Wagless  the  tail  that  waved  to  welcome  me." — 

Here  Waldgrave  interposed  sepulchral  tones, 

"  Ofl  have  I  noted,  when  the  jest  went  round. 

Sad  'twas  to  see  the  wag  forget  his  tale — 

Sadder  to  see  the  tail  forget  its  wag." 

"Wherefore,"  resumed  she,  "take  of  fitting  stuff. 

And  make  therewith  a  narrow  house  for  him." 

Quoth  he,  "From  yonder  deal  I'll  plane  the  bark. 


THE  HUMOBS  OF  VSBSIEIGATION.  243 

80  'twill  of  Tray  be  emblemaUoal; 

For  thou,  'tis  plain,  must  lose  a  deal  of  bark, 

Sinoe  he  nor  bark  nor  bite  shall  practioe  more." 

"And  take  thou,  too/'  she  said,  ''a  coffin-plate, 

And  be  his  birth  and  years  inscribed  thereon 

With  letters  twain  '  S.  T.'  to  mark  Sir  Tray, 

80  shall  the  tomb  be  known  in  after  time." 

"This,  too,"  qaoth  Waldgrave,  "shall  be  deftly  done; 

Oft  hath  the  plate  been  freighted  with  his  bones, 

Bnt  now  his  bones  must  lie  beneath  the  plate." 

"  Jest'st  thou?"  Dame  Hubbard  said,  and  dutohed  her  omtoh, 

For  ill  she  brooked  light  parlance  of  the  dead; 

But  when  she  saw  Sir  Waldgrave,  how  his  face 

Was  all  drawn  downward,  till  the  curving  mouth 

Seemed  a  horseshoe,  while  o'er  the  furrowed  cheek 

A  wandering  tear  stole  on,  like  riyulet 

In  dry  ravine  down  mother  Ida's  side. 

She  changed  her  purpose,  smote  not,  lowered  the  stalT;— 

So  parted,  faring  homeward  with  her  grief. 

Nearing  her  bower,  it  seemed  a  sepulchre 
Sacred  to  memory,  and  almost  she  thought 
A  dolorous  cry  arose,  as  if  Elaine 
Did  sound  a  caterwauling  requiem. 
With  hesitating  hand  she  raised  the  latch. 
And  on  the  threshold  with  reluctant  foot 
Lingered,  as  loath  to  face  the  scene  of  woe, 
When  lo !  the  body  lay  not  on  the  hearth. 
For  there  Elaine  her  flying  tail  pursued,— > 
In  the  Dame's  chair  Sir  Tray  alive  did  sit, 
A  world  of  merry  meaning  in  his  eye, 
And  all  his  face  agrin  from  ear  to  ear. 

Like  one  who  late  hath  lost  his  dearest  friend, 
And  in  his  sleep  doth  see  that  friend  again. 
And  marvels  scarce  to  see  him,  putting  forth 
A  clasping  hand,  and  feels  him  warm  with  life. 
And  so  takes  up  his  friendship's  broken  thread — 
Thus  stood  the  Dame,  thus  ran  she,  pattering  o'er 
The  sanded  tiles,  and  clasped  she  thus  Sir  Tray, 
Unheeding  of  the  grief  his  jest  had  wrought 
For  joy  he  was  not  numbered  with  the  dead. 

Anon  the  Dame,  her  primal  transports  o'er. 
Bethought  her  of  the  wisdom  of  Sir  Tray, 
And  his  fine  wit,  and  then  it  shameful  seemed 
That  he  bareheaded  'neath  the  sky  should  go 


244  THE  HUMORS  OF  VERSIFICATION. 

While  empty  skulls  of  fools  went  thatched  and  roofed; 

''A  hat,"  she  oried,  "would  better  fit  those  brows 

Than  many  a  courtier's  that  I've  wotted  of; 

And  thou  shalt  have  one,  an'  my  tender  toes 

On  which  the  corns  do  shoot,  and  these  my  knees 

Wherethro'  rheumatic  twinges  swiftly  dart. 

Will  bear  me  to  the  city  yet  again, 

And  thou  shalt  wear  the  hat  as  Arthur  wore 

The  Dragon  of  the  great  Pendragonship." 

Whereat  Sir  Tray  did  seem  to  smile,  and  smote 

Upon  the  chair-back  with  approving  taiL 

Then  up  she  rose,  and  to  the  Hatter's  went,— 
"Hat  me,"  quoth  she,  "your  very  newest  hat;" 
And  so  they  hatted  her,  and  she  returned 
Home  through  the  darksome  wold,  and  raised  the  latoh^ 
And  marked,  full  lighted  by  the  ingle-glow, 
Sir  Tray,  with  spoon  in  hand,  and  cat  on  knee. 
Spattering  the  mess  about  the  chaps  of  Puss. 


THE  OLOQIES. 

We're  going  to  begin  with  an  ample  Apology ; 
Tou'U  end,  we  are  sure,  bj  a  hearty  Doxology, 
If,  all  undeterred  by  our  strange  Phraseology, 
You  chose  to  sit  down  to  a  dish  of  Tautology. 


One's  pestered  in  these  days  by  so  many  'ologies. 
We  thought  we  would  fain  see  the  tale  of  onrfoes; 

A  niche  of  your  own  in  the  new  Martyrologies 
Ton'd  earn  if  you'd  only  go  halves  in  our  woes. 

We'v   counted  some  forty  I  but  how  many  more 

there  are, 
We're  eren  now  wholly  unable  to  say; 
Wo  fear  that  at  least  the  same  number  in  store 

there  are, 
Tou'U  say  we  have  found  quite  enough  for  one  day. 


"So  now  for  our  Catalogue :  first  comes  Anthology — 
A  bouquet  of  flowers,  a  budget  of  rhymes ; 
That's  pleasant — not  so  the  next,  called  Anthropology^ 
The  science  of  man  in  all  ages  and  olimes. 


THE  HUMOBS  OF   VEBSIEICATION.  245 

''Then  eomea  %  most  usefal  pnnuit,  Araohnology; 

They're  bipeds,  the  spiders  who  weave  the  worst  webs; 
But  wheo  one  is  asked  to  go  in  for  Astrology, 
And  Zadkiel !  one's  courage  most  rapidly  ebbs. 

"  The  next  on  oar  roster  is  old  Arohseology, 
A  scienoe  that's  lately  been  maoh  in  repate ; 
One  can't  say  as  much  for  Eleotro-biology, 
Which  now-o'-days  no  one  seems  oyer  to  bruit. 

"Bat  none  can  afford  to  make  light  of  Chronology, 
Tho'  ladies  are  apt  to  be  dark  upon  dates ; 
We  most  of  us  make  rather  light  of  Conohology 
Except  when  the  oyster-shell  gapes  on  oar  plates. 

''  The  Deyil's  deposed  they  say,  and  Demonology 
Would  certainly  seem  to  have  gone  to  the  De'il; 
Some  savants,  like  Hooker,  still  swallow  Dendrology, 
But  tree-names  are  somewhat  too  tough  for  my  meaL 

"  The  parsons  are  great  upon  Eoolesiology, 
And  prate  about  proper  pyramidal  piles; 
Few  travelers  care  to  neglect  Entomology, 
f  heir  wakefulness  often  its  study  beguiles. 

**  'Twottld  take  you  a  life-time  to  learn  Etymology, 
And  dabblers  get  into  most  marvellous  scrapes; 
And  Huxley  would  tell  you  as  much  of  Ethnology, — 
Who  really  believes  we  are  cousins  of  apes  T 

"Dean  Buckland  it  was  who  first  started  Geology, 
And  traced  the  rock  pedigrees,  fixing  their  ranks; 
And  Frank  has  of  late  taken  up  Ichthyology, 
The  salmon  already  have  voted  him  thanks. 

"Von  Humboldt  had  fairly  exhausted  Eosmology, 
But  Nature  's  a  quite  inexhaustible  mine ; 
Napoleon  has  fulfilled  a  new  Martyrology, 
Imbrued  with  the  purest  blue-blood  of  the  Rhine. 

**  We  all  of  us  thought  we  were  deep  in  Mythology, 
Till  Cox  and  Max  MUller  both  deepened  its  well; 
Our  sons  may  learn  somi^thing  of  Meteorology — 
The  weather  our  prophets  all  fail  to  foretell. 

**  The  study  of  life  is  bound  up  with  Necrology, 
And  we  shall  have  one  day  to  enter  its  lists,"- 
And  furnish  some  specimens  for  Osteology, 
The  science  of  bones,  on  which  Owen  exists. 
21* 


246  THE  HUMOBS  OV  VIBSIflCATION. 

"At  breakfast  we're  seldom  averse  to  Oology, 

Or  lanchy  when  the  ployers  are  pleased  to  lay  eggs ; 
Bat  then  one  would  bar  embryonic  Ontology, 
Preferring  fowls  fall-grown  with  breast,  wings,  and  legs  I 

"For  oh !  we  decidedly  like  Ornithology 

And  chiefly  the  study  of  grouse  on  the  wing ; 
We'd  leave  it  to  doctors  to  study  Pathology ; 
The  study  of  pain  is  a  troublesome  thing. 

"  We  all  of  as  need  a  small  dose  of  Philology^ 
If  oaring  to  make  the  best  use  of  our  tongues; 
A  careful  attention  to  strict  Phraseology 
Inyolves  a  most  notable  saving  of  lungs. 

"  The  study  of  heads  has  been  christened  Phrenology, 
Professors  would  call  it  the  study  of  brain ; 
But  take  my  advice,  and  avoid  Pneumatology, 
For  spirits  are  apt  to  treat  brains  with  disdain. 

"  For  much  the  same  reason,  we'd  banish  Psychology,— 
What  savant  can  give  an  account  of  his  soul  ? 
And  if  we  could  only  abolish  Theology, 

The  parsons  alone  would  be  hard  to  console! 

"  If  ever  yon  happened  to  study  Splanchnology, 
Tou'd  know  what  it  is  theologians  lack, — 
Inquisitors  never  complain  of  Tautology, 
So  long  as  rank  heretics  roar  on  the  rack. 

"  And  now  is  the  time  to  strike  up  your  Dozology, 
For  we  would  no  longer  detain  you,  my  friend; — 
On  Sunday  we  all  have  a  turn  for  Zoology, 
So  here  is  our  Catalogue  come  to  an  end." 


THE   YABIATION    HUMBUG. 

The  London  Charivari  thinks  that  there  is  more  humbog 
talked,  printed ,  and  practiced  in  reference  to  music  than  to 
anything  else  in  the  world,  except  politics.  And  of  all  the 
musical  humbugs  extant  it  occurs  to  Mr.  Punch  that  the 
variation  humbug  is  the  greatest.  This  party  has  not  even 
the  sense  to  invent  a  tune  for  himself,  but  takes  else's,  and 
starting  therefrom,  as  an  acrobat  leaps  from  a  spring-board^ 


THE  HUMORS  Of   VXRSIflCATION.  i47 

jumps  himself  into  a  musical  reputation  on  the  strength  of 
the  other  party's  ideas.  Mr.  Punch  wonders  what  would  be 
thought  of  a  poet  who  should  try  to  make  himself  renown  by 
this  kind  of  thing — taking  a  well-known  poem  of  a  prede- 
cessor and  doing  variations  on  it  afler  this  fashion : — 

BUGQINS'   YABIATIONS  ON  THE*  BUST  BEE. 

How  doth  the  Little  Busy  Bee 

Improve  each  shining  hoar. 
And  gather  honey  all  the  day 

From  every  opening  flower, 

From  every  opening  flower,  flower,  flower, 

That  sparkles  in  a  breexy  bower. 

And  gives  its  sweetness  to  the  shower. 

Exhaling  scent  of  gentle  power, 

That  lasts  on  kerchief  many  an  hoar. 

And  is  a  lady's  graceful  dower. 

Endeared  alike  to  cot  and  tower. 
Round  which  the  Little  Busy  Bee 

Improves  each  shining  hour. 
And  gathers  honey  all  the  day 

From  eveiy  opening  flower, 

From  every  opening  flower,  flower,  flower. 

From  every  opening  flower. 

How  skillfully  she  builds  her  cell, 

How  neat  she  spreads  her  wax, 
And  labors  hard  to  store  it  well. 

With  the  sweet  food  she  makes, 

With  the  sweet  food  she  makes, 

With  the  sweet  food  she  makes,  makes,  makes, 

When  rising  just  as  morning  breaks, 

The  dewdrop  from  the  leaf  she  shakes. 

And  oft  the  sleeping  moth  she  wakes. 

And  diving  through  the  flower  she  takes, 

The  honey  with  her  faiiy  rakes. 

And  in  her  oell  the  same  she  cakes, 

Or  sports  across  the  silver  lakes. 

Beside  her  children,  for  whose  sakes 
How  skillfully  she  builds  her  oell. 

How  neat  she  spreads  her  wax. 
And  labors  hard  to  store  it  well. 

With  the  sweet  food  she  makes. 


248  THE    HUMORS  OF  YEBSIFICATION. 

In  works  of  labor  or  of  skill, 

I  would  be  basy  too, 
For  Satan  finds  some  mischief  still 

For  idle  hands  to  do, 

For  idle  hands  to  do, 

For  idle  hands  to  do,  do,  do. 

Things  whioh  thereafter  they  will  rue. 

When  Jastioe  fiercely  doth  pursue. 

Or  conscience  raises  cry  and  hue. 

And  evil-doers  look  quite  blue, 

When  Peelers  run  with  loud  halloo. 

And  magistrates  put  on  the  screw. 

And  then  the  wretch  exclaims,  Boo-hoo, 
In  works  of  labor  or  of  skill 

I  wish  Vd  busied  too. 
For  Satan's  found  much  mischief  still, 

For  my  two  hands  to  do. 

There  I  Would  a  poet  get  much  reputation  for  these  yariations,  which 
are  much  better  in  their  way  than  most  of  those  built  upon  tunes  ?  Would 
the  poetical  critics  come  out,  as  the  musical  critics  do,  with  "  Upon  Watts' 
marble  foundation  Bnggins  has  raised  a  sparkling  alabaster  palace;"  or, 
"  The  old-fashioned  Watts  has  been  brought  into  new  honor  by  the  etin- 
eellant  Buggins;"  or  "We  love  the  old  tune,  but  we  have  room  in  our 
hearts  for  the  fairy -like  fountains  of  bird-song  which  Buggins  has  bid 
start  from  it  ?  "  Mr.  Punch  has  an  idea  that  Buggins  would  have  no  such 
luck ;  the  moral  to  be  deduced  from  which  fact  is,  that  a  musical  prig  is 
luckier  than  a  poetical  prig. 


REITERATIVE   VOCAL    MUSIC. 

A  well-known  reviewer,  in  an  article  on  Hymnology, 
says: — 

Who  could  endure  to  hear  and  sing  hymns,  the  meaning 
and  force  of  which  he  really  feltr— set,  as  they  frequently  have 
been,  to  melodies  from  the  Opera,  and  even  worse,  or  massa- 
cred by  the  repetition  of  the  end  of  each  stanza,  no  matter 
whether  or  not  the  grammar  and  sense  were  consistent  with  it. 
Take  such  memorable  cases  of  incongruity  as : — 

"My  poor  pol — 
My  pool  pol — 
My  poor  polluted  heart" 


TH£  HUMOBS  OF  VSBBU'ICATION.  249 

To  which  he  might  have  added  from  Dr.  Watts : — 

**  And  Me  Sal — see  Sal — see  SaWation  nigh." 

Or  this  to  the  same  commoD  metre  tune,  '^  Miles's  Lane'' : — 

''  Where  my  Sal — ^my  Sal — my  Salvation  stands." 

Or  this  when  sung  to  **  Job": — 

<'And  love  thee  Bet^ 
And  love  thee  better  than  before." 

Or— 

"  Stir  up  this  stu — 
Stir  up  this  stupid  heart  to  pray." 

Or  this  crowning  absurdity : — 

"And  more  eggt — ^more  egga — ^more  exalts  our  joys." 

This  to  the  tune  of  "Aaron"  7's:— 

"  With  thy  Benny— 
With  thy  benediction  seaL" 

This  has  recently  been  added  in  a  fashionable  metropolitan 
church : — 

"And  take  thy  pil— 
And  take  thy  pilgrim  home." 

And  further  havoc  is  made  with  language  and  sense  thus: — 

"  Before  his  throne  we  bow — wow — wow — ow — ^wow." 
And— 

"I  lore  to  steal 
I  loye  to  steal — awhile  away." 
And — 

"  0,  for  a  man — 
0,  for  a  mansion  in  the  skies." 

To  which  we  may  add : — 

"And  well  oatch  the  flear— 
And  we'll  oatch  the  flee — ee — eeting  hour." 

Two  trebles  sing,  ''And  learn  to  kiss";  two  trebles  and  alto, 
"And  learn  to  kiss";  two  trebles,  alto,  and  tenor,  "And  learn 
to  kiss";  the  bass,  solus,  "the  rod." 

This  is  sung  to  a  tune  called  "  Boyce" : — 
"  Thou  art  my  buH— 
Thou  art  my  bulwark  and  defence." 


250  THB  HUMORS  QV   VKRSIFICATION. 

THB  OURSB  OF  O'KELLT. 

Carmao  O'Kellj,  the  celebrated  Irish  harper^  went  to 
Doneraile,  in  the  county  of  Cork,  where  his  watch  was 
pilfered  from  his  fob.  This  so  roused  his  ire  that  he  cele- 
brated the  people  in  the  following  unexampled  '<  string  of 
curses : " — 

Alas !  how  dismal  is  my  tale, 
I  lost  my  watch  in  Doneraile, 
My  Dublin  watch,  my  chain  and  seal, 
Pilfered  at  once  in  Doneraile. 
May  fire  and  brimstone  never  fail 
To  fall  in  showers  on  Doneraile ; 
May  all  the  loading  fiends  assail 
The  thieving  town  of  Doneraile. 
As  lightnings  flash  across  the  vale. 
So  down  to  hell  with  Doneraile; 
The  fate  of  Pompey  at  Pharsale, 
Be  that  the  curse  of  Doneraile. 
May  beef  or  mutton,  lamb  or  veal. 
Be  never  found  in  Doneraile, 
But  garlic  soup  and  scurvy  kale. 
Be  still  the  food  for  Doneraile, 
And  forward  as  the  creeping  snail* 
Industry  bo  at  Doneraile. 
May  Heaven  a  chosen  curse  entail. 
On  ragged,  rotten  Doneraile. 
May  sun  and  moon  forever  faU 
To  beam  their  lights  on  Doneraile; 
May  every  pestilential  gale 
Blast  that  cursed  spot  called  Doneraile; 
May  no  sweet  cuckoo,  thrush  or  quail 
Be  ever  heard  in  Doneraile ; 
May  patriots,  kings,  and  commonweal 
Despise  and  harass  Doneraile; 
May  every  post,  gazette  and  mail. 
Sad  tidings  bring  of  Doneraile ; 
May  vengeance  fall  on  bead  and  tail. 
From  north  to  south  of  Doneraile 
May  profit  small,  and  tardy  sale, 
Still  damp  the  trade  of  Doneraile : 
May  fame  resound  a  dismal  tale, 
Whene'er  she  lights  on  Doneraile ; 


THB  HUMOBS   OV  VIB8IFIGATI0N.  251 

May  Egypt's  plagues  at  onee  preTail, 
To  thin  the  knaves  at  Doneraile ; 
May  frost  and  snow,  and  sleet  and  hail. 
Benumb  each  joint  in  Doneraile ; 
May  wolves  and  bloodhounds  raoe  and  trail 
The  ourscd  orew  of  Doneraile ; 
May  Oscar  with  his  fiery  flail 
To  atoms  thrash  all  Doneraile; 
May  every  mischief,  fresh  and  stale. 
May  all  from  Belfast  to  Kinsale, 
Scoff,  curse  and  damn  you,  Doneraile. 
May  neither  flour  nor  oatmeal. 
Be  found  or  known  in  Doneraile ; 
May  want  and  woe  each  joy  curtail. 
That  e'er  was  known  in  Doneraile; 
May  no  one  coffin  want  a  nail, 
That  wraps  a  rogue  in  Doneraile ; 
May  all  the  thieves  who  rob  and  steal. 
The  gallows  meet  in  Doneraile ; 
May  all  the  sons  of  Gramaweal, 
Blush  at  the  thieves  of  Doneraile ; 
May  mischief  big  as  Norway  whale, 
O'erwhelm  the  knaves  of  Doneraile; 
May  curses  whole  and  by  retail. 
Pour  with  full  force  on  Doneraile ; 
May  every  transport  wont  to  sail, 
A  oonTict  bring  from  Doneraile; 
May  every  churn  and  milking-pail 
Fall  dry  to  staves  in  Doneraile ; 
May  cold  and  hunger  still  congeal, 
The  stagnant  blood  of  Doneraile; 
May  every  hour  new  woes  reveal. 
That  hell  reserves  for  Doneraile; 
May  every  chosen  ill  prevail 
O'er  all  the  imps  of  Doneraile; 
.May  th'  inquisition  straight  impal% 
The  Rapparees  of  Doneraile; 
May  curse  of  Sodom  now  prevail. 
And  sink  to  ashes  Doneraile ; 
May  Charon's  boat  triumphant  sail. 
Completely  manned  from  Doneraile; 
Oh !  may  my  couplet  nerer  fail 
To  find  new  curse  for  Doneraile ; 
And  may  grim  Plato's  inner  jail 
Forever  groan  with  Doneraile. 


252  HIBERNIANA. 


Maria  Edgeworth,  in  her  Essay  on  Irish  BuUs^  remarks 
that  "the  difficulty  of  selecting  from  the  vulgar  herd  a  bull 
that  shall  be  entitled  to  the  prize,  from  the  united  merits  of 
pre-eminent  absurdity  and  indisputable  originality,  is  greater 
than  hasty  judges  may  imagine." 

Very  true ;  but  if  the  prize  were  offered  for  a  hatch  of  Irish 
diamonds,  we  think  the  following  copy  of  a  letter  written  dur- 
ing the  Rebellion,  by  S ,  an  Irish  member  of  Parliament, 

to  his  friend  in  Lopdon,  would  present  the  strongest  claim  : — 

"  My  dear  Sir : — Having  now  a  little  peace  and  quietness,  I 
sit  down  to  inform  you  of  the  dreadful  bustle  and  confusion  we 
are  in  from  these  blood-thirsty  rebels,  most  of  whom  are  (thank 
God  !)  killed  and  dispersed.  We  are  in  a  pretty  mess  3  can  get 
nothing  to  eat,  nor  wine  to  drink,  except  whiskey;  apd  when 
we  sit  down  to  dinner,  we  are  obliged  to  keep  both  hands 
armed.  Whilst  I  write  this,  I  hold  a  pistol  in  each  hand  and 
a  sword  in  the  other.  I  concluded  in  the  beginning  that  this 
would  be  the  end  of  it ;  and  I  see  I  was  right,  for  it  is  not 
half  over  yet.  At  present  there  are  such  goings  on,  that  every 
thing  is  at  a  stand  still.  I  should  have  answered  your  letter  a 
fortnight  ago,  but  I  did  not  receive  it  till  this  morning.  Indeed, 
hardly  a  mail  arrives  safe  without  being  robbed.  No  longer 
ago  than  yesterday  the  coach  with  the  mails  from  Dublin  was 
robbed  near  this  town :  the  bags  had  been  judiciously  left  be- 
hind for  fear  of  accident,  and  by  good  luck  there  was  nobody 
in  it  but  two  outside  passengers  who  had  nothing  for  thieves  to 
take.  Jiast  Thursday  notice  was  given  that  a  gang  of  rebels 
were  advancing  here  under  the  French  standard ;  but  they  had 
no  colors,  nor  any  drums  except  bagpipes.  Immediately  every 
man  in  the  place,  including  women  and  children,  ran  out  to 
meet  them.  We  soon  found  our  force  much  too  little ;  and  we 
were  far  too  near  to  think  of  retreating.     Death  was  in  every 


HIBERNIANA.  253 

face ;  but  to  it  we  went,  and  bj  the  time  half  our  little  party 
were  killed  we  begau  to  be  all  alive  again.  Fortunately,  the 
rebels  had  no  guns,  except  pistols,  cutlasses,  and  pikes ;  and  as 
we  had  plenty  of  guns  and  ammunition,  we  put  them  all  to  the 
sword.  Not  a  soul  of  them  escaped,  except  some  that  were 
drowned  in  an  adjacent  bog;  and  in  a  very  short  time  nothing 
was  to  be  heard  but  silence.  Their  uniforms  were  all  different 
colors,  but  mostly  green.  After  the  action,  we  went  to  rum- 
mage a  sort  of  camp  which  they  had  left  behind  them.  All 
we  found  was  a  few  pikes  without  heads,  a  parcel  of  empty 
bottles  full  of  water,  and  a  bundle  of  French  commissions 
filled  up  with  Irish  names.  Troops  are  now  stationed  all  around 
the  country,  which  exactly  squares  with  my  ideas.  I  have  only 
time  to  add  that  I  am  in  great  haste. 

"Yours  truly, . 

"  P.  S. — If  you  do  not  receive  this,  of  course  it  must  have 
miscarried :  therefore  I  beg  you  will  write  and  let  me  know." 

Miss  Edgeworth  says,  further,  that  "  many  bulls,  reputed  to 
be  bred  and  born  in  Ireland,  are  of  foreign  extraction ;  and 
many  more,  supposed  to  be  unrivalled  in  their  kind,  may  be 
matched  in  all  their  capital  points."  To  prove  this,  she  cites 
numerous  examples  of  well-known  bulls,  with  their  foreign  pro- 
totypes, not  only  English  and  Continental,  but  even  Oriental  and 
ancient.  Among  the  parallels  of  familiar  bulls  to  be  found 
nearer  our  American  home  since  the  skillM  defender  of  Erin's 
naivete  wrote  her  Essay,  one  of  the  best  is  an  economical 
method  of  erecting  a  new  jail : — 

The  following  resolutions  were  passed  by  the  Board  of  Coun 
oilmen  in  Canton,  Mississippi : — 

1.  Resolved,  by  this  Council,  that  we  build  a  new  Jail. 

2.  Resolved,  that  the  new  Jail  be  built  out  of  the  materials 
of  the  old  Jail. 

3.  Resolved,  that  the  old  Jail  be  used  until  the  new  Jail  is 
finished. 

22 


254  HIBERNIANA. 

It  was  a  Frenchman  who,  in  making  a  classified  oatalogae 
of  books,  placed  Miss  Edgeworth's  Essay  in  the  list  of  works 
on  Natural  History;  and  it  was  a  Scotchman  who,  having 
purchased  a  copy  of  it,  pronounced  her  '^  a  puir  silly  body,  to 
write  a  book  on  bulls,  and  no  ane  word  o'  homed  cattle  in  it  a', 
forbye  the  bit  beastie  [the  vignette]  at  the  beginning."  Exam- 
ples from  the  common  walks  of  life  and  from  periodical  litera- 
ture may  readily  be  multiplied  to  show  that  these  phraseologi- 
cal peculiarities  are  not  to  be  exclusively  attributed  to  Ireland. 
But  if  we  adopt  Coleridge's  definition,  which  is,  that  <'  a  bull 
consists  in  a  mental  juxtaposition  of  incongruous  ideas,  with 
the  sensation,  but  without  the  sense,  of  connection,'-'  we  shall 
find  frequent  instances  of  its  occurrence  among  standard  au- 
thors.    Take  the  following  blunders,  for  examples  : — 

Adam,  the  goodliest  man  of  men  tince  horn 
Hit  9on9 — the  fairest  of  her  daughiert.  Eve. 

Milton**  Paradite  Lott, 
The  loveliest  pair 
That  ever  aince  in  love's  embraces  met — lb.  B.  iv. 

Swift,  being  an  Irishman,  of  course  abounds  in  blunders, 
some  of  them  of  the  most  ludicrous  character;  but  we  should 
hardly  expect  to  find  in  the  elegant  Addison,  the  model  of 
classical  English,  such  a  singular  inaccuracy  as  the  following : — 

So  the  pure  limpid  stream,  when  foul  with  9taina 
Of  nishing  torrents  and  descending  rains. — Outo. 

He  must  have  seen  in  a  blaze  of  blinding  light  (this  is  '^ip- 
sis  Hibemis  Hibernior")  the  vanity  and  evil,  the  folly  and 
madness,  of  the  worldly  or  selfish,  and  the  grandeur  and  truth 
of  the  disinterested  and  Christian  life. — Gril/Ulan*8  Bards  of 
the  Bible, 

The  real  and  peculiar  magnificence  of  St.  Petersburgh  con- 
sists in  thus  sailing  apparently  upon  the  bosom  of  the  ocean^ 
into  a  city  of  palaces, — Sedgwick's  Letters  from  the  Baltic^ 

The  astonished  Yahoo,  smoking,  as  well  as  he  could,  a  cigar, 
with  which  he  had  filled  all  his  pockets, —  Warr&i  *s  Ten  ThaU' 
sand  a  Year, 


HIBERNIANA,  255 

The  following  speciiAens  are  from  the  works  of  Dr.  John- 
son:— 

Every  monumental  inscription  should  be  in  Latin;  for  thai 
being  a  dead  language^  it  will  always  live. 

Nor  yet  peroeiTed  the  vit&l  spirit  fled, 

But  still  fought  on,  nor  kneio  that  he  waa  dead. 

Shakspeare  has  not  only  shown  human  nature  as  it  is^  but  as 
it  would  be  found  in  situcUions  to  which  it  cannot  he  exposed. 

Turn  from  the  glittering  bribe  your  scornful  eye. 
Nor  sell  for  gold  what  gold  can  never  buy. 

These  observations  were  made  by  favor  of  a  contrary  wind. 
The  next  two  are  from  Pope  : — 

Eight  callow  in/anta  filled  the  mossy  nesty 
Hereelf  the  ninth. 

When  first  young  Maro,  in  his  noble  mind, 
A  work  ^  outlaet  inunortal  Rome  deeigned. 

Shakspeare  says, — 

I  will  strive  with  things  impossible, 

Tea,  get  the  better  of  them.^^ul%ue  Cmear,  iL  1. 

A  horrid  eilence  first  invadee  the  ear.^DRTDBV. 

Beneath  a  mountain's  brow,  the  most  remote 

And  inaeceeeible  by  ehepherde  trod, — HoMB :  DongUue, 

In  the  Irish  Bank-bill  passed  by  Parliament  in  June,  1808, 
IS  a  clause  providing  that  the  profits  shall  be  equally  divided 
and  the  residue  go  to  the  Governor. 

Sir  Richard  Steele,  being  asked  why  his  countrymen  were 
so  addicted  to  making  bulls,  said  he  believed  there  must  be 
something  in  the  air  of  Ireland,  adding,  <<  I  dare  say  if  an 
Englishman  were  horn  there  he  would  do  the  same." 

Mr.  Cunningham,  to  whom  we  are  indebted  for  the  interest- 
ing notes  to  Johnson's  ''  Lives  of  the  Poets,"  pronounces  his 
author  the  most  distinguished  of  his  cotemporaries. 


256  HIBEBNIANA. 

Sir  Walter  Scott  perpetrates  a  carious  blander  in  one  of  his 
novels,  in  making  certain  of  his  characters  behold  a  sanset  over 
the  waters  of  a  seaport  on  the  eastern  coast  of  Scotland. 

The  following  occurs  in  Dr.  Latham's  English  Lang'Uage. 
Speaking  of  the  genitive  or  possessive  case,  he  sajs, — 

"  In  the  plural  number,  however,  it  is  rare;  so  rare,  indeed, 
that  whenever  the  plural  ends  in  s  (as  it  always  does)  there  is 
no  genitive." 

Byron  says, — 

I  stood  in  Venice  on  tho  Bridge  of  Sighs, 
A  palace  and  a  prison  on  each  hand. 
(He  meant  a  palace  on  one  hand,  and  a  prison  on  the  other.) 

Dr.  Johnson,  in  his  Dictionary,  defines  a  garret  as  <<  a  room 
on  the  highest  floor  in  the  house,''  and  a  cock-loft  as  ''  the 
room  over  the  garret." 

For  the  sake  of  comparisoD,  we  recur  to  the  favorite  pasture 
of  the  genuine  thorough-bred  animal : — 

An  Irish  member  of  Parliament,  speaking  of  a  certain  min- 
ister's well-known  love  of  money,  observed,  "  Let  not  the  hon- 
orable member  express  a  contempt  for  money, — for  if  there  is 
any  one  office  that  glitters  in  the  eyes  of  the  honorable  member, 
it  is  that  of  purse-bearer :  a  pension  to  him  is  a  compendium 
of  all  the  cardinal  virtues.  All  his  statesmanship  is  compre- 
hended in  the  art  of  taxing ;  and  for  good,  better,  and  best,  in 
the  scale  of  human  nature,  he  invariably  reads  pence,  shillings, 
and  pounds.  I  verily  believe,"  continued  the  orator,  rising  to 
the  height  of  his  conception,  <<  that  if  the  honorable  gentleman 
were  an  undertaker,  it  would  be  the  delight  of  his  heart  to  see 
all  mankind  seized  with  a  common  mortality,  that  he  might 
have  the  benefit  of  the  general  burial,  and  provide  scarfs  and 
hat-bands  for  the  survivors." 

The  manager  of  a  provincial  theatre,  finding  upon  one  occa- 
sion but  three  persons  in  attendance,  made  the  following  ad- 
dress : — "  Ladies  and  gentlemen — ^as  there  is  nobody  here,  I'll 
dismiss  you  all.  The  performances  of  this  night  will  not  bo 
performed  3  but  tlict/  will  he  repeated  to-morrow  evening." 


HTBERNIANA.  257 

A  Hibernian  gentleman,  when  told  by  his  nephew  that  he 
had  just  entered  college  with  a  view  to  the  church;  said,  <'I 
hope  that  I  may  live  to  hear  you  preach  my  funeral  sermon." 

An  Irishman,  quarrelling  with  an  Englishman,  told  him  if  he 
didn't  hold  his  tongue,  he  would  break  his  impenetrable  head, 
and  let  the  brains  out  of  his  empty  skull. 

"  My  dear,  come  in  and  go  to  bed,*'  said  the  wife  of  a  jolly 
son  of  Erin,  who  had  just  returned  from  the  fair  in  a  de- 
cidedly how-come-you-so  state :  *'  you  must  be  dreadful  tired, 
sure,  with  your  long  walk  of  six  miles."  *^  Arrah  !  get  away 
with  your  nonsense,"  said  Pat :  '^  it  wasn't  the  length  of  the  way, 
at  all,  that  fatigued  me  :  'twas  the  breadth  of  it." 

A  poor  Irishman  offered  an  old  saucepan  for  sale.  His  chil- 
dren gathered  around  him  and  inquired  why  he  parted  with  it. 
"  Ah,  me  honeys,"  he  answered,  "  I  would  not  be  afther  part- 
ing with  it  but  for  a  little  money  to  buy  something  to  put  in  it." 

A  3'oung  Irishman  who  had  married  when  about  nineteen 
years  of  age,  complaining  of  the  difficulties  to  which  his  early 
marriage  subjected  him,  said  he  would  never  marry  so  young 
again  if  he  lived  to  be  as  ould  as  Methuselah. 

In  an  Irish  provincial  paper  is  the  following  notice: — 
Whereas  Patrick  O'Connor  lately  left  his  lodgings,  this  is  to 
give  notice  that  if  he  does  not  return  immediately  and  pay  for 
the  same,  he  will  be  advertised. 

''  Has  your  sister  got  a  son  or  a  daughter  ?"  asked  an  Irish- 
man of  a  friend.  "Upon  my  life,"  was  the  reply,  "  I  don't 
know  yet  whether  I'm  an  uncle  or  aunt.'* 

**  I  was  going,"  said  an  Irishman,  "over  Westminster  Bridge 

the  other  day,  and  I  met  Pat  Hewius.    '  Ilewins,'  says  I,  *  how 

are  you?'     *  Pretty  well,'   says  he,    'thank    you,    Donnelly.' 

*  Donnelly !'  says  I :  *  that's  not  my  name.'    *  Faith,  no  more  is 

mine  Hewins,'  says  he.     So  we  looked  at  each  other  again,  and 

sure  it  turned  out  to  be  nayther  of  us ;  and  where's  the  bull 

of  that,  now  ?" 

R  22* 


258  HIBERNIANA. 

"India,  my  boy,"  said  an  Irish  officer  to  a  friend  on  his 
arrival  at  Calcutta,  "  is  the  finest  climate  under  the  sun ;  but  a 
lot  of  young  fellows  come  out  here  and  they  drink  and  they  eat, 
and  they  drink  and  they  die:  and  then  they  write  home  to 
their  parents  a  pack  of  lies,  and  say  it's  the  climate  that  has 
killed  them." 

In  the  perusal  of  a  very  solid  book  on  the  progress  of  the 
ecclesiastical  difierenccs  of  Ireland,  written  by  a  native  of  that 
country,  after  a  good  deal  of  tedious  and  vexatious  matter,  the 
reader's  complacency  is  restored  by  an  artless  statement  how  an 
eminent  person  "  abandoned  the  errors  of  the  church  of  Home, 
and  adopted  those  of  the  church  of  England." 

Here  is  an  American  Hibemicism,  which  is  entitled  to  full 
recognition: — Among  the  things  that  Wells  &  Fargo's  Express 
is  not  responsible  for  as  carriers  is  one  couched  in  the  following 
language  in  their  resulations :  "Not  for  any  loss  or  damage  by 
fire,  the  acts  of  God^  or  of  Indians,  or  any  other  public  enemies 
of  the  government^ 

George  Selwyn  once  declared  in  company  that  a  lady  could 
not  write  a  letter  withoujt  adding  a  postscript,  A  lady  present 
replied,  "  The  next  letter  that  you  receive  from  me,  Mr.  Selwyn, 
will  prove  that  you  are  wrong."  Accordingly  he  received  one 
from  her  the  next  day,  in  which,  after  her  signature  was  the 
following : — 

"P.  S.     Who  is  right,  now,  you  or  I?" 
The  two  subjoined  parliamentary  utterances  are  worthy  to 
have  emanated  from  Sir  Boyle  Roche : — 

"  Mr.  Speaker,  I  boldly  answer  in  the  affirmative — No." 
'*  Mr.  Speaker,  if  I  hare  any  prejudioe  against  the  honorable  member, 
it  is  in  his  faTor." 

A   PAIR   OF  BULLS. 

When  my  lord  he  came  wooing  to  Miss  Ann  Thrope, 

He  was  then  a  *'  Childe"  from  school; 
lie  p:iid  his  addresses  in  a  trope, 

Anfl  called  her  his  sweet  bul-bal: 
But  she  knew  not,  in  the  modern  scale, 

That  a  couple  of  bulU  was  a  nightingale. 


BLUNDERS.  2o0 


SLIPS  OF  THE  PRESS. 

Lord  Brougham  was  fond  of  relating  an  instance  which  was 
no  joke  to  the  victim  of  it.  A  bishop,  at  one  of  his  country 
-visitations,  found  occasion  to  complain  of  the  deplorable  state  of 
a  certain  church,  the  roof  of  which  was  evidently  anything  but 
water-tight;  after  rating  those  concerned  for  their  neglect,  his 
lordship  finished  by  declaring  emphatically  that  he  would  not 
visit  the  damp  old  church  again  until  it  was  put  in  decent 
order.  His  horror  may  be  imagined  when  he  discovered  him- 
self reported  in  the  local  journal  as  having  declared:  ''I  shall 
not  visit  this  damned  old  church  again."  The  bishop  lost  no 
time  in  calling  the  editor's  attention  to  the  mistake;  whereupon 
that  worthy  set  himself  right  with  his  readers  by  stating  that 
he  willingly  gave  publicity  to  his  lordship's  explanation,  but  he 
had  eveiy  confidence  in  the  accuracy  of  his  reporter.  The 
editor  of  an  evening  paper  could  hardly  have  had  similar  confi- 
dence in  his  subordinate  when  the  latter  caused  his  journal  to 
record  that  a  prisoner  had  been  sentenced  to  "  four  months  im- 
prisonment in  the  House  of  Commons!"  In  this  case,  we 
fancy  the  reporter  must  have  been  in  the  same  exhilarated  con- 
dition as  his  American  brother,  who  ended  his  account  of  a  city 
banquet  with  the  frank  admission :  ^^  It  is  not  distinctly  remem- 
bered by  anybody  present  who  made  the  last  speech !" 

In  a  poem  on  the  "  Milton  Gallery,"  by  Amos  Cottle,  the 
poet,  describing  the  pictures  of  Fuseli,  says : — 

'*  The  lubber  fiend  outstretched  the  chimney  near, 
Or  sad  Ulysses  on  the  larboard  Steer." 

Ulysses  steered  to  the  larboard  to  shun  Charybdis,  but  the 
compositor  makes  him  get  upon  the  back  of  the  bullock,  the  lefl 
one  in  the  drove!  After  all,  however,  he  only  interprets  the 
text  literally.   ''Steer,"  as  a  substantive,  has  no  other  meaning 


200  BLUNDERS. 

than  bullock.  The  substantive  of  the  verb  "  to  steer"  is  steerage. 
"He  that  hath  the  steerage  of  my  course,"  says  Shakspeare. 
The  compositor  evidently  understood  that  Ulysses  rode  an  ox; 
he  would  hardly  else  have  spelt  Steer  with  a  capital  S. 

The  following  paragraphs,  intended  to  have  been  printed 
separately,  in  a  Paris  evening  paper,  were  by  some  blunder  so 
arranged  that  they  read  consecutively : — 

Doctor  X.  has  been  appointed  head  physician  to  the  Hospital 
de  la  Charite.  Orders  have  been  issued  by  the  authorities  for 
the  immediate  extension  of  the  Cemetery  of  Mont  Pamasse. 
The  works  are  being  executed  with  the  utmost  dispatch. 

The  old  story  of  Dr.  Mudge  iumishes  one  of  the  most 
curious  cases  of  typographical  accident  on  record.  The  Doctor 
had  been  presented  with  a  gold-headed  cane,  and  the  same  week 
a  patent  pig-killing  and  sausage-making  machine  had  been  tried 
at  a  factory  in  the  place  of  which  he  was  pastor.  The  writer 
of  a  report  of  the  presentation,  and  a  description  of  the 
machine,  for  the  local  paper,  is  thus  made  to  "  mix  things  mis- 
cellaneously:" — 

"  The  inconsiderate  Caxtonian  who  made  up  the  forms  of  the 
paper,  got  the  two  locals  mixed  up  in  a  frightful  manner;  and 
when  we  went  to  press,  something  like  this  was  the  appalling 
result:  Several  of  the  Rev.  Dr.  Mudge's  friends  called  upon 
him  yesterday,  and  after  a  brief  conversation,  the  unsuspicious 
pig  was  seized  by  the  hind  legs,  and  slid  along  a  beam  until  he 
reached  the  hot  water  tank.  His  friends  explained  the  object 
of  their  visit,  and  presented  him  with  a  very  handsome  gold- 
headed  butcher,  who  grabbed  him  by  the  tail,  swung  him 
round,  slit  his  throat  from  ear  to  ear,  and  in  less  than  a  minute 
the  carcass  was  in  the  water.  Thereupon  he  came  forward,  and 
said  that  there  were  times  when  the  feelings  overpowered  one; 
and  for  that  reason  he  would  not  attempt  to  do  more  than 
thank  those  around  him  for  the  manner  in  which  such  a  huge 
animal  was  cut  into  fragments  was  simply  astonishing.     The 


BLUNDERS.  261 

Doctor  concluded  bis  remarks  when  the  macliine  seized  him, 
and  in  less  time  than  it  takes  to  write  it,  the  pig  was  cat  into 
fragments  and  worked  up  into  delicious  sausages.  The  occasion 
will  long  be  remembered  by  the  Doctor's  friends  as  one  of  the 
most  delight^  of  their  lives.  The  best  pieces  can  be  procured 
for  tenpence  a  pound ;  and  we  are  sure  that  those  who  have 
sat  so  long  under  his  ministry  wiU  rejoice  that  he  has  been 
tareated  so  handsomely." 

BLIPS  OF  THE  TELEQRAPH. 

.  The  Prior  of  the  Dominican  Monastery  of  Voreppe,  in  France, 
recently  received  the  following  telegram: — "Father  Ligier  is 
dead  (est  mort);  we  shall  arrive  by  train  to-morrow,  at  three. — 
Laboree."  The  ecclesiastic,  being  convinced  that  the  deceased, 
who  was  highly  esteemed  in  the  locality,  had  selected  it  for  his 
last  resting-place,  made  every  preparation.  A  grave  was  dug,  a 
hearse  provided,  and  with  the  monks,  a  sorrowing  crowd  waited 
at  the  station  for  the  train.  It  arrived,  and,  to  the  astonish- 
ment of  every  one,  the  supposed  defunct  alighted,  well  and 
hearty.  The  matter  was  soon  explained.  The  reverend  father, 
returning  from  a  visit  to  Rome,  where  he  had  been  accompanied 
by  the  priest  Laboree,  stopped  to  visit  some  monks  at  Saint- 
Jean-de-Maurienne,  and  requested  his  companion  to  telegraph 
the  return  to  his  monastery.  The  message  sent  was:  "Father 
Ligier  and  I  (et  mot)  will  arrive,"  &c.  The  clerks  inadvertent- 
ly changed  the  et  mot  into  est  mort,  with  what  result  has 
already  been  told. 

A  firm  in  Cincinnati  telegraphed  to  a  correspondent  in  Cleve- 
land, as  follows : — "  Cranberries  rising.  Send  immediately  one 
hundred  barrels  per  Simmons."  Mr.  Simmons  was  the  agent 
of  the  Cincinnati  house.  The  telegraph  ran  the  last  two 
words  together,  and  shortly  after,  the  firm  were  astonished  to 
find  delivered  at  their  store  one  hundred  barrels  of  per- 
simmons. 


262  BLUNDERS. 

serial"  inconsistency. 
In  Mrs.  Oliphant's  interesting  story  of  "  Ombra,"  there  is  a 
carious  contradiction  between  the  end  of  Chapter  XLY.  and 
the  beginning  of  Chapter  XLVI.     A  domestic  picture  is  given, 
an  interior,  with  the  characters  thus  disposed: — 

"One  evening,  when  Kate  was  at  home,  and,  as  usual,  ab- 
stracted over  a  book  in  a  comer;  when  the  Berties  were  in  iull 
possession,  one  bending  over  Ombra  at  the  piano,  one  talking 
earnestly  to  her  mother,  Francesca  suddenly  threw  the  door 
open,  with  a  vehemence  quite  unusual  to  her,  and  without  a 
word  of  warning — without  even  the  announcement  of  his  name 
to  put  them  on  their  guard — Mr.  Courtenay  walked  into  the 
room." 

Thus  ends  Chapter  XLV.,  and  thus  opens  Chapter  XLVI. : — 
"  The  scene  which  Mr.  Courtenay  saw  when  he  walked  in 
suddenly  to  Mrs.  Anderson's  drawing-room,  was  one  so  different 
in  eveiy  way  from  what  he  had  expected  that  he  was  for  the 
first  moment  as  much  taken  aback  as  any  of  the  company. 
*  *  *  The  drawing-room,  which  looked  out  on  the  Lung' 
Amo,  was  not  small,  but  it  was  rather  low — not  much  more 
than  an  entresol.  There  was  a  bright  wood-fire  on  the  hearth, 
and  near  it,  with  a  couple  of  candles  on  a  small  table  by  her 
side,  sat  Kate,  distinctly  isolated  from  the  rest,  and  working 
diligently,  scarcely  raising  her  eyes  from  her  needle-work.  The 
centre-table  was  drawn  a  little  aside,  for  Ombra  had  found  it  too 
warm  in  front  of  the  fire;  and  about  this  the  other  four  were 
grouped — Mrs.  Anderson,  working  too,  was  talking  to  one  of 
the  young  men ;  the  other  was  holding  silk,  which  Ombra  was 
winding;  a  thorough  English  domestic  party — such  a  family 
group  as  should  have  gladdened  virtuous  eyes  to  see.  Mr. 
Courtenay  looked  at  it  with  indescribable  surprise." 

MISTAKES   OF   MISAPPREHENSION. 

Soon  after  Louis  XIV.  appointed  Bossuet,  Bishop  of  Meaux, 
he  inquired  how  the  citizens  liked  their  new  Bishop,  to  which 


BLUNDERS.  263 

ihey  answered,  doubtfiiUy:  "Pretty  well."  "But,"  aaked  his 
Majesty,  "what  fault  do  you  find  with  him?"  "To  say  the 
truth,"  they  replied,  "  we  should  have  preferred  a  Bishop  who 
had  finished  his  education ;  for,  whenever  we  wait  upon  him, 
we  are  told  that  he  is  at  his  studies." 

There  lived  in  the  west  of  England,  a  few  years  since,  an 
enthusiastic  geologist,  who  was  presiding  judge  of  the  Quarter 
Sessions.  A  farmer,  who  had  seen  him  presiding  on  the  bench, 
overtook  him  shortly  afterwards,  while  seated  by  the  roadside 
on  a  heap  of  stones,  which  he  was  busily  breaking  in  search  of 
fossils.  The  farmer  reined  up  his  horse,  gazed  at  him  for  a 
minute,  shook  his  head  in  commiseration  of  the  mutability  of 
human  things,  then  exclaimed,  in  mingled  tones  of  pity  and 
surprise:  "What,  your  Honor!  be  you  come  to  this  a'  ready?" 

Cottle,  in  his  Lifi  of  Coleridge,  relates  an  essay  at  grooming 
on  the  part  of  that  poet  and  Wordsworth.  The  servants  being 
absent,  the  poets  had  attempted  to  stable  their  horse,  and  were 
almost  suocessfxil.  With  the  collar,  however,  a  difficulty  arose. 
After  Wordsworth  had  relinquished  as  impracticable  the  effort 
to  get  it  over  the  animal's  head,  Coleridge  tried  his  hand,  but 
showed  no  more  grooming  skill  than  his  predecessor;  for,  after 
twisting  the  poor  horse's  neck  almost  to  strangulation,  and  to 
the  great  danger  of  his  eyes,  he  gave  up  the  useless  task,  pro- 
nouncing that  the  horse's  head  must  have  grown  (gout  or 
dropsy)  since  the  collar  was  put  on,  for  he  said  it  was  downright 
impossibility  for  such  a  huge  o%  frantis  to  pass  through  so 
narrow  a  collar!  Just  at  this  moment  a  servant  girl  came  up, 
and  turning  the  collar  upside  down,  slipped  it  off  without 
trouble,  to  the  great  humility  and  wonderment  of  the  poets,  who 
were  each  satisfied  afresh  that  there  were  heights  of  knowledge 
to  which  they  had  not  attained. 

BLUNDERS   OP   TRANSLATORS. 

A  most  entertaining  volume  might  be  made  from  the  amusing 
and  oft^n  absurd  blunders   perpetrated  by  translators.     For 


264  BLUNDEBS. 

instance,  Miss  Cooper  tells  us  that  the  person  who  first  rendered 
her  father's  novel,  "  The  Spy,"  into  the  French  tongue,  among 
other  mistakes,  made  the  following: — Readers  of  the  Revolu- 
tionary romance  wtQ  rememher  that  the  residence  of  the  Whar- 
ton family  was  called  "  The  Locusts."  The  translator  referred 
to  his  dictionary,  and  found  the  rendering  of  the  word  to  he 
Les  SautereUes,  "The  Grasshoppers."  But  when  he  found 
one  of  the  dragoons  represented  as  tying  his  horse  to  one  of 
the  locusts  on  the  lawn,  it  would  appear  as  if  he  might  have 
been  at  fault.  Nothing  daunted,  however,  but  taking  it  for 
granted  that  American  grasshoppers  must  be  of  gigantic  dimen- 
sions, he  gravely  informs  his  readers  that  the  cavalryman 
secured  his  charger  by  fastening  the  bridle  to  one  of  the  grass- 
hoppers before  the  door,  apparently  standing  there  for  that 
purpose. 

Much  laughter  haa  deservedly  been  raised  at  French  littirctr 
teurs  who  professed  to  be  ^^dactus  utrmsque  lingus^y  Gibber's 
play  of  "Love's  Last  Shift"  was  translated  by  a  Frenchman 
who  spoke  "Inglees"  as  "i/c  Demihre  Chemise  de  F Amour;" 
Congreve's  "  Mourning  Bride,"  by  another,  as  ^^L^Epouse  du 
Matin;"  and  a  French  scholar  recently  included  among  his 
catalogue  of  works  on  natural  history  the  essay  on  "  Irish  Bulls," 
by  the  Edgeworths.  Jules  Janin,  the  great  critic,  in  his  trans- 
lation of  "Macbeth,"  renders  "Out,  out,  brief  candle!"  as 
"/Sorted,  chandelle"  And  another,  who  traduced  Shakspeare, 
commits  an  equally  amusing  blunder  in  rendering  Northumber- 
land's femous  speech  in  "  Henry  IV."     In  the  passage 

"  Even  snoh  a  man,  so  faint,  so  spiritless, 
So  dull,  so  dead  in  look,  to  tooe-begone" 

the  words  italicized  are  rendered,  ^^  ainsi  douleur !  vorfen!" — 
"so  grief,  be  off  with  you  I"  Voltaire  did  no  better  with  his 
translations  of  several  of  Shakspeare's  plays ;  in  one  of  which 
the  "myriad-minded"  makes  a  character  renounce  all  claim  to  a 
doubtful  inheritance,  with  an  avowed  resolution  to  carve  for 


BLUNDERS.  265 

liimself  a  fortune  with  his  sword.  Voltaire  put  it  in  French, 
which,  retranslated,  reads,  "  What  care  I  for  lands  ?  With  my 
sword  I  will  make  a  fortune  cutting  meat." 

The  late  centennial  celebration  of  Shakspeare*s  birthday  in 
England  called  forth  numerous  publications  relating  to  the 
works  and  times  of  the  immortal  dramatist.  Among  them  was 
a  new  translation  of  '^  Hamlet,''  by  the  Chevalier  de  Chatelain, 
who  also  translated  Halleck's  "Alnwick  Castle,"  "  Bums,"  and 
"Marco  Bozzaris."  Our  readers  are,  of  course,  familiar  with 
the  following  lines : — 

"How  weary,  stale,  flaty  and  unprofitable 
Seem  to  me  all  the  uses  of  this  world ! 
Fie  on't !     Oh,  fie !  'tis  an  unweeded  garden 
That  grows  to  seed ;  things  rank,  and  gross  in  nature, 
Possess  it  merely." 

The  cheyalier,  less  successful  with  the  English  than  with  the 
modem  American  poet,  thus  renders  them  into  French : — 

"Fi  done  !  fi  done  I  Ceajomv  qu*on  nout  montron§  tuperbtt 
Sont  un  vilain  jardin  rempU  de  follet  herhetf 
Qui  donnent  de  rivraie,  et  eertee  rten  de  plua 
Si  oe  n'est  let  engine  du  eholerti-morbue," 

Some  of  the  funniest  mistranslations  on  record  have  been 
bequeathed  by  Victor  Hugo.  Most  readers  will  remember  his 
rendering  of  a  peajacket  as  paletot  a  la  purie  de  pots,  and  of 
the  Frith  of  Forth  as  le  cinquilme  de  le  guatrihne. 

The  French  translator  of  one  of  Sir  Walter  Scott's  novels, 
knowing  nothing  of  that  familiar  name  for  toasted  cheese, 
"  a  Welsh  rabbit,"  rendered  it  literally  by  "  un  kipin  du  pays 
de  GaUeSj^  or  a  rabbit  of  Wales,  and  then  informed  his  readers 
in  a  foot-note  that  the  lapins  or  rabbits  of  Wales  have  a  very 
superior  flavor,  and  are  very  tender,  which  cause  them  to  be  in 
great  request  in  England  and  Scotland.  A  writer  in  the 
Neapolitan  paper,  77  Giomale  deJla  due  Sicilie,  was  more 
ingenuous.  He  was  translating  from  an  English  paper  the 
account  of  a  man  who  killed  his  wife  by  striking  her  with  a 

23 


266  MISQUOTATIONS. 

poker;  and  at  the  end  of  liis  stoiy  the  honest  joamalist,  with 
a  modesty  unusual  in  his  craft,  said,  ^^Kon  sappiamo  per  certo 
se  questo  pokero  IngUse  sia  uno  strumerUo  domestico  o  bensi 
ckirurgico^' — "We  are  not  quite  certain  whether  this  English 
poker  [jpokero]  be  a  domestic  or  surgical  instrument." 

In  the  course  of  the  famous  Tichborne  trial,  the  claimant, 
when  asked  the  meaning  of  laus  Deo  semper^  said  it  meant 
"  the  laws  of  Gk)d  forever,  or  permanently."  An  answer  not 
less  ludicrous  was  given  by  a  French  Sir  Roger,  who,  on 
being  asked  to  translate  numeiro  Devs  vmpare  gaudet^  unhesita- 
tingly replied,  "  Le  num^ro  deux  se  r^jouit  d'etre  impair." 

Some  of  the  translations  of  the  Italian  operas  in  the 
librettos,  which  are  sold  to  the  audience,  are  ludicrous  enough. 
Take,  for  instance,  the  lines  in  Roberto  U  diavoloj — 

Egli  era,  dioessi 

Abitatore 

Del  tristo  Imperio. 

Which  some  smart  interpreted  rendered — 

"  For  they  say  he  was 
A  oitisen  of  the  black  emporimn." 


lEieqttotationsB. 

In  Mr  Collins*  account  of  Homer's  Diad,  in  Blackwood's 
Andent  Classics /or  English  Readers,  occurs  the  following: — 

"  The  spirit  horsemen  who  rallied  the  Bomian  line  in  the 

great  fight  with  the  Latins  at  Lake  Regillus,  the  shining  stars 
who  lighted  the  sailors  on  the  stormy  Adriatic,  and  gave  their 
names  to  the  ship  in  which  St.  Paid  was  cast  away." 

If  the  reader  will  take  the  trouble  to  refer  to  the  Acts  of  the 
Apostles,  xxviii,  11,  he  will  find,  that  the  ship  of  Alexandria, 
"whose  sign  was  Castor  and  Pollux,"  was  not  the  vessel  in 
which  St.  Paul  was  shipwrecked  near  Malta,  but  the  ship  in 


MISQUOTATIONS.  267 

which  he  safely  voyaged  from  the  ialajid  of  "the  barbarous 
people"  to  Puteoli  for  Rome. 

The  misquotations  of  Sir  Walter  Scott  have  frequently  at- 
tracted attention.  One  of  the  most  unpardonable  occurs  in 
The  Heart  of  Mtd-Lothianj  chapter  xlvii.: — 

"  The  least  of  these  considerations  always  inclined  Butler  to 
measures  of  conciliation,  in  so  &r  as  he  could  accede  to  them, 
without  compromising  principle ;  and  thus  our  simple  and  un- 
pretending heroine  had  the  merit  of  those  peacemakers,  to  whom 
it  is  pronounced  as  a  benediction,  that  they  shall  mJierit  the 
earth" 

On  turning  to  the  gospel  of  Matthew,  v.  9,  we  find  that  the 
benediction  pronounced  upon  the  peacemakers  was  that  "  they 
shall  be  called  the  children  of  God.''  It  is  the  meek  who  are  to 
"  inherit  the  earth,"  (ver.  5). 

Another  of  Scott's  blunders  occurs  in  Ivanhoe,  The  date 
of  this  story  "  refers  to  a  period  towards  the  end  of  the  reign 
of  Richard  I."  (chap,  i.)  Richard  died  in  1199.  Neverthe- 
less, Sir  Walter  makes  the  disguised  Wamba  style  himself  ''a 
poor  brother  of  the  Order  of  St.  Francis,"  although  the  Order 
was  not  founded  until  1210,  and,  of  course,  the  saintship  of 
the  founder  had  a  still  later  date. 

Again  in  Wdverley  (chap,  xii.)  he  puts  into  the  mouth  of 
Baron  Bradwardine  the  words  "  nor  would  I  utterly  accede  to 
the  objurgation  of  the  younger  PliniuB  in  the  fourteenth  book 
of  his  Hutoria  Naturalis."  The  great  Roman  naturalist  whose 
thirty-seven  books  on  Natural  History  were  written  eighteen 
centuries  ago,  was  the  Elder  Pliny. 

Alison,  in  his  History  of  Europe^  speaks  of  the  Grand  Duke 
Constantine  of  Russia,  the  Viceroy  of  Poland,  as  the  son  of 
the  emperor  Paul  I.  and  the  celebrated  empress  Catherine. 
This  Catherine  was  the  mother  of  Paul,  and  wife  of  Peter  IQ., 
Paul's  &ther.  Constantino's  mother,  Le.  Paul's  wife,  was  a 
princess  of  WUrtemberg. 


268  MISQUOTATIONS. 

Another  of  Archibald's  singular  errors  is  his  translation  of 
droit  du  timbre  (stamp  duty)  into  "  timber  duties."  This  is  about 
as  sensible  as  his  quoting  with  approbation  from  De  Tocqueville 
the  false  and  foolish  assertion  that  the  American  people  are 
^'  regardless  of  historical  records  or  monuments/'  and  that  future 
historians  will  be  obliged  "  to  write  the  history  of  the  present 
generation  from  the  archives  of  other  lands."  Such  ignorance 
of  American  scholarship  and  research  and  of  the  vigorous 
vitality  of  American  Historical  Societies,  is  unpardonable. 

Disraeli  thus  refers  to  a  curious  blunder  in  Nagler's  Kunst- 
ler-LexicoUj  concerning  the  artist  Cruikshank: — 

Some  years  ago  the  relative  merits  of  George  Cruikshank 
and  his  brother  were  contrasted  in  an  English  Eeview,  and 
George  was  spoken  of  as  "the  real  Simon  Pure" — the  first 
who  had  illustrated  "  Scenes  of  Life  in  London."  Unaware  of 
the  real  significance  of  a  quotation  which  has  become  prover- 
bial among  us,  the  German  editor  begins  his  memoir  of  Cruik- 
shank by  gravely  informing  us  that  he  is  an  English  artist 
''whose  real  name  is  Simon  Pure!"  Turning  to  the  artists  un 
der  letter  P.  we  accordingly  read,  "Pure  (Simon),  the  real 
name  of  the  celebrated  caricaturist,  George  Cruikshank." 

This  will  remind  some  of  our  readers  of  the  index  which  re- 
fers to  Mr  Justice  Best.  A  searcher  after  something  or  other, 
running  his  eye  down  the  index  through  letter  B,  arrived  at  the 
reference  "  Best — Mr.  Justice — ^his  great  mind."  Desiring  to 
be  better  acquainted  with  the  particulars  of  this  assertion,  he 
turned  to  the  page  referred  to,  and  there  found,  to  his  entire 
satisfaction,  "Mr.  Justice  Best  said  he  had  a  great  mind  to 
commit  the  witness  for  prevarication." 

In  the  fourth  canto  of  Do7i  Juun,  stanza  CX.,  Byron  says: 

Oh,  darkly,  deeply,  beautifully  blue, 

As  some  one  somewhere  sings  about  the  sky. 

Byron  was  mistaken  in  thinking  his  quotation  referred  to  the 
sky.  The  line  is  in  Southey's  Madoc,  canto  Y.,  and  describes 
fish.     A  note  intimates  that  dolphins  are  meant 


FABRICATIONS.  269 

"  Though  in  bine  ocean  seen, 
Blue,  darkly,  deeply,  beantifnlly  bla% 
In  all  its  rich  variety  of  shades, 
Bnffosed  with  glowing  gold." 


jFaftricatlonsj. 

THE  DESCRIPTION  OF  THE  SAYIOUR'S  PERSON. 

Chalmers  charges  upon  Huarte  (a  native  of  Frencli  Navarre) 
the  publication  (as  genuine  and  authentic)  of  the  Letter  of 
Lentulus  (the  Proconsul  of  Jerusalem)  to  the  Roman  Senate, 
describing  the  person  and  manners  of  our  Lord,  and  for  which, 
of  course,  he  deservedly  censures  him.  A  copy  of  the  letter  will 
be  found  in  the  chapter  of  this  volume  headed  L  H.  S. 


A   CLEVER  HOAX  ON   SIR  WALTER  SCOTT. 

The  following  passage  occurs  in  one  of  Sir  Walter  Scott's 
letters  to  Southey,  written  in  September,  1810 : — 

A  witty  rogue,  the  other  day,  who  sent  me  a  letter  subscribed 
"  Detector,''  proved  me  guilty  of  stealing  a  passage  from  one 
of  Vida's  Latin  poems,  which  I  had  never  seen  or  heard  of; 
yet  there  was  so  strong  a  general  resemblance  as  &irly  to 
authorize  '^  Detector V  suspicion. 

Lockhart  remarks  thereupon : — 

The  lines  of  Vida  which  "  Detector"  had  enclosed  to  Scott, 
as  the  obvious  original  of  the  address  to  "  Woman,"  in  Mar^ 
mi€n^  closing  with — 

**  When  pain  and  anguish  wring  the  brow, 
A  ministering  angel  thou !" 

end  as  follows :  and  it  must  be  owned  that  if  Yida  had  really 
written  them,  a  more  extraordinary  example  of  casual  ooinci* 
dence  could  never  have  been  pointed  out. 

23* 


270  FABRICATIONS. 

"Cam  dolor  atqne  snperoilio  gnriB  imminet  9ixgo>T, 
Fnngeris  aagelioo  sola  ministerio." 

"Detector's"  reference  is  Vida  ck?  Eranen^  El.  ii.  v.  21;  but 
it  is  almost  needless  to  add  there  are  no  such  lines,  and  no  piece 
bearing  sach  a  title  in  Vida's  works. 

It  was  afterwards  ascertained  that  the  waggish  author  of  this 
hoax  was  a  Cambridge  scholar  named  Druiy. 

THE  MOON  HOAX. 

The  authorship  of  the  "  Moon  Hoax /'  an  elaborate  descrip- 
tion (which  was  first  printed  in  the  New  York  Sun)  of  men, 
animals,  &c.,  purporting  to  have  been  discovered  in  the  moon 
by  Sir  John  Herschel,  is  now  disputed.  Until  recently  it  was 
conceded  to  R.  A.  Locke,  now  dead ;  but  in  the  Budget  of  Paro' 
doxesy  by  I^fessor  De  Morgan,  the  authorship  is  confidently 
ascribed  to  M.  Nicollet,  a  French  savant,  once  weU  known  in 
this  country,  and  employed  by  the  government  in  the  scientific 
exploration  of  the  West.  He  died  in  the  government  service. 
Professor  De  Morgan  writes  as  follows : — '^  There  is  no  doubt 
that  it  (the  '  Moon  Hoax')  was  produced  in  the  United  States 
by  M.  Nicollet,  an  astronomer  of  Paris,  and  a  fugitive  of  some 
kind.  About  him  I  have  heard  two  stories.  First,  that  he 
fied  to  America  with  funds  not  his  own,  and  that  this  book 
was  a  mere  device  to  raise  the  wind.  Secondly,  that  he  was  a 
protegi  of  Laplace,  and  of  the  Polignac  party,  and  also  an  out- 
spoken man.  The  moon  story  was  written  and  sent  to  France, 
with  the  intention  of  entrapping  M.  Arago — Nicollet's  especial 
foe — in  the  belief  of  it."  It  seems  not  to  have  occurred 
to  the  sage  and  critical  professor  that  a  man  who  could 
steal  funds,  would  have  little  scruple  about  stealing  a  lite- 
rary production.  It  b,  hence,  more  than  probable  that  Nicol- 
let translated  the  article  immediately  after  its  appearance  in 
the  New  York  Sun^  and  afterwards  sent  it  to  France  as  his 
own. 


FABRICATIONS.  271 

A  LITBRARY  SELL. 

A  story  is  told  in  literary  circles  in  New  York  of  an  entbu- 
siaatic  Carlyle  Club  of  ladies  and  gentlemen  of  Cambridge  and 
Boston,  wbo  meet  periodically  to  read  tbeir  cbosen  propbet  and 
worsbip  at  bis  sbrine.  One  of  tbem,  not  imbned  witb  suffi- 
cient reverence  to  teacb  bim  better,  feloniously  contrived  to 
bave  tbe  reader  on  a  certain  evening  insert  sometbing  of  bis 
own  composition  into  tbe  reading,  as  tbougb  it  came  from  tbe 
printed  page  and  Carlyle's  band.  Tbe  interpolation  was  as 
follows: — ^^Word-spluttering  organisms,  in  wbatever  place — 
not  witb  Plutarcbean  comparison,  apologies,  nay  ratbcr,  witbout 
any  sucb  apologies — ^but  born  into  tbe  world  to  say  tbe  tbougbt 
tbat  is  in  tbem — antipboreal,  too,  in  tbe  main — ^butcbers, 
bakers,  and  candlestick-makers;  men,  women,  pedants.  Verily, 
witb  you,  too,  it's  now  or  never."  Tbis  paragrapb  produced 
great  applause  among  tbe  devotees  of  Carlyle.  Tbe  leader 
of  tbe  Club  especially,  a  learned  and  metapbysical  pundit, 
wbo  is  tbe  great  American  apostle  of  Carlyle,  said  nothing 
Carlyle  bad  ever  written  was  more  representative  and  bappy. 
Tbe  actual  autbor  of  it  attempted  to  ask  some  questions 
about  it,  and  elicit  explanations.  Tbese  were  not  wanting, 
and,  wbere  tbey  failed,  tbe  stupidity  of  tbe  questioner  was  tbe 
substitute  presumption,  delicately  binted.  It  reminds  us  of 
Dr.  Franklin's  incident  in  bis  life  of  Abrabam,  wbicb  be  used 
to  read  off  witb  great  gravity,  apparently  from  an  open  Bible, 
tbougb  actually  from  bis  own  memory.  This  parable  is  proba- 
bly tbe  most  perfect  imitation  of  Scripture  style  extant. 

MRS.  HEHANS'S  "FORGERIES.'* 

A  gentleman  having  requested  Mrs.  Hemans  to  furnish  bim 
with  some  authorities  from  the  old  English  writers  for  tbe  use  of 
tbe  word  **  barb,"  as  applied  to  a  steed,  she  very  shortly  supplied 
bim  witb  the  following  imitations,  which  she  was  in  tbe  habit 
of  calling  her  <<  forgeries."  Tbe  mystification  succeeded  com- 
pletely, and  was  not  discovered  for  some  time  afterwards :— 


272  FABRICATIONS. 

The  warrior  donn'd  his  well-worn  garb 

And  proudly  waved  his  crest; 
He  mounted  on  his  jet-blaok  barb 

And  put  his  lanoe  in  rest. 

Pbbct,  B€liqu4$, 

Bftsoons  the  wight  withouten  more  delay 

Spnrr'd  his  brown  barb,  and  rode  full  swiftly  on  his  way. 

Spbhsbb. 

Hark  I  was  it  not  the  trumpet's  voice  I  heard  ? 
The  soul  of  battle  is  awoke  within  me ! 
The  fate  of  ages  and  of  empires  hangs 
On  this  dread  hour.    Why  am  I  not  in  arms? 
Bring  my  good  lanoe,  caparison  my  steed ! 
Base,  idle  grooms !  are  ye  in  league  against  me? 
Haste  with  my  barb,  or  by  the  holy  saints, 
Te  shall  not  live  to  saddle  him  to-morrow. 

Mabbihqbb. 

No  sooner  had  the  pearl-shedding  fingers  of  the  young  Aurora  trem- 
ulously unlocked  the  oriental  portals  of  the  golden  horizon,  than  the 
graceful  flower  of  chivalry,  and  the  bright  cynosure  of  ladies  eyes — he  of 
the  da»ling  breast-plate  and  swanlike  plume —  sprang  impatiently  from 
the  couch  of  slumber,  and  eagerly  mounted  the  noble  barb  presented  to 
him  by  the  Emperor  of  Aspromontania. 

Sir  Philip  Sidney,  Arcadia. 

See'st  thou  yon  chief  whose  presence  seems  to  rule 
The  storm  of  battle  ?    Lo !  where'er  he  moves 
Death  follows.     Carnage  sits  upon  his  crest — 
Fate  on  his  sword  is  throned —  and  his  white  barb, 
As  a  proud  courser  of  Apollo's  chariot. 
Seems  breathing  fire. 

Potter,  M»cTiyl%u, 
Oh  I  bonnie  looked  my  ain  true  knight. 

His  barb  so  proudly  reining ; 

I  watched  him  till  my  tearfu'  sight 

Grew  amaist  dim  wi'  straining. 

Border  MinHniay, 

Why,  he  can  heel  the  lavolt  and  wind  a  fiery  barb  as  well  as  any  gallant 
in  Christendom.    He's  the  very  pink  and  mirror  of  accomplishment. 

Shakspearb. 

Fair  star  of  beauty's  heaven  I  to  call  thee  mine. 

All  other  joy's  I  joyously  would  yield  j 
My  knightly  crest,  my  bounding  barb  resign 

For  the  poor  shepherd's  crock  and  daisied  field  I 


FABRICATIONS.  273 

For  ooarts,  or  oamps,  no  wish  my  soul  woald  proro, 
So  thott  wonld'st  live  with  me  and  be  my  love. 

Earl  or  Surrst,  Poemt, 

For  thy  dear  love  my  weary  soul  hath  grown 
Heedless  of  youthful  sports  :  I  seek  no  more 
Or  joyous  dance,  or  music's  thrilling  tone, 
Or  joys  that  once  could  charm  in  minstrel  lore, 
Or  knightly  tilt  where  steel-clad  champions  meet, 
Borne  on  impetuous  harbt  to  bleed  at  beauty's  feet ! 

Shakspeari,  SonneU, 
As  a  warrior  clad 
In  sable  arms,  like  chaos  dull  and  sad, 
But  mounted  on  a  barb  as  white 
As  the  fresh  new-bom  light, — 

So  the  black  night  too  soon 
Came  riding  on  the  bright  and  silver  moon 

Whose  radiant  heavenly  ark 
Made  all  the  clouds  beyond  her  influence  seem 

E'en  more  than  doubly  dark,  • 

Mourning  all  widowed  of  her  glorious  beam. 

COWLBT. 

Sheridan's  greek. 
In  Anecdotes  of  Impudence,  we  find  this  curions  story  :^ 
Lord  Belgrave  having  clenched  a  speech  in  the  House  of  Com- 
mons with  a  long  Greek  quotation,  Sheridan,  in  reply,  admitted 
the  force  of  the  quotation  so  far  as  it  went;  '*but"  said  he,  "if 
the  noble  Lord  had  proceeded  a  little  farther,  and  completed 
the  passage,  he  would  have  seen  that  it  applied  the  other  way!" 
Sheridan  then  spouted  something  ore  rotundo^  which  had  all  the 
ais,  ois,  kons,  and  kois  that  give  the  world  assurance  of  a  Greek 
quotation :  upon  which  Lord  Belgrave  very  promptly  and  hand- 
somely complimented  the  honorable  member  on  his  readiness  of 
recollection,  and  frankly  admitted  that  the  continuation  of  the 
passage  had  the  tendency  ascribed  to  it  by  Mr.  Sheridan,  and 
that  he  had  overlooked  it  at  the  moment  when  he  gave  his 
quotation.  On  the  breaking  up  of  the  House,  Fox,  who  piqued 
himself  on  having  some  Greek,  went  up  to  Sheridan,  and  said, 
"Sheridan,  how  came  you  to  be  so  ready  with  that  passage?  It 
certainly  is  as  you  state,  but  I  was  not  aware  of  it  before  you 
s 


274  FABRI0ATI0N8. 

quoted  it*'    It  is  unnecessary  to  obseire  that  there  was  no 
Greek  at  all  in  Sheridan's  impromptu. 

BALLAD  LITERATURE. 

John  Hill  Burton,  in  bis  Book  Hunter,  after  speaking  of  the 
success  with  which  Surtus  imposed  upon  Sir  Walter  Scott  the 
spurious  ballad  of  the  Death  of  FecUherstonhau^h,  which  has  a 
place  in  the  Border  Minstrelsy ,  says: — 

Altogether,  such  affairs  create  an  unpleasant  uncertainty  about 
the  paternity  of  that  delightful  department  of  literature — our 
ballad  poetry.  Where  next  are  we  to  be  disenchanted?  Of  the 
way  in  which  ballads  have  come  into  existence,  there  is  one  sad 
example  within  my  own  knowledge.  Some  mad  young  wags, 
wishing  to  test  the  critical  powers  of  an  experienced  collector, 
sent  him  a  new-made  ballad,  which  they  had  been  enabled  to 
secure  only  in  a  fragmentary  form.  To  the  surprise  of  its  fabri- 
cator, it  was  duly  printed;  but  what  naturally  raised  his  surprise 
to  astonishment,  and  revealed  to  him  a  secret,  was,  that  it  was 
no  longer  a  fragment,  but  a  complete  ballad, — ^the  coUector,  in 
the  course  of  his  industrious  inquiries  among  the  peasantry, 
having  been  so  fortunate  as  to  recover  the  missing  fragments ! 
It  was  a  case  where  neither  could  say  anything  to  the  other, 
though  Cato  might  wonder,  quod  non  ridcret  haruspex, 
haruspicem  cum  vidisset  This  ballad  has  been  printed  in 
more  than  one  collection,  and  admired  as  an  instance  of  the 
inimitable  simplicity  of  the  genuine  old  versions ! 

Psalmanazar  exceeded  in  powers  of  deception  any  of  the 
great  impostors  of  learning.  His  island  of  Formosa  was  an  illu- 
sion eminently  bold,  and  maintained  with  as  much  felicity  as 
erudition ;  and  great  must  have  been  that  erudition  which  could 
form  a  pretended  language  and  its  grammar,  and  fertile  the 
genius  which  could  invent  the  history  of  an  unknown  people. 
The  deception  was  only  satisfactorily  ascertained  by  his  own  peni- 
tential confession;  he  had  defied  and  baffled  the  most  learned. 


fabrications.  275 

franklin's  parable. 

Dr.  Franklin  frequently  read  for  the  entertainment  of  com- 
pany, apparently  from  an  open  Bible,  but  actually  from  memory, 
the  following  chapter  in  &Yor  of  religious  toleration,  pretendedly 
quoted  from  the  Book  of  Genesis.  This  story  of  Abraham  and 
the  idolatrous  traveler  was  given  by  Franklin  to  Lord  Kaimes 
as  a  '^Jewish  Parable  on  Persecution,"  and  was  published  by 
Kaimes  in  his  Sketches  of  the  History  of  Man.  It  is  traced, 
not  to  a  Hebrew  author,  but  to  a  Persian  apologue.  Bishop 
Heber,  in  referring  to  the  charge  of  plagiarism  raised  against 
Franklin,  says  that  while  it  cannot  be  proved  that  he  gave  it  to 
Lord  Kaimes  as  his  own  composition,  it  is  **  unfortunate  for  him 
that  his  correspondent  evidently  appears  to  have  regarded  it  as 
his  composition ;  that  it  had  been  published  as  such  in  all  the 
editions  of  Franklin's  collected  works  *,  and  that,  with  all  Frank- 
lin's abilities  and  amiable  qualities,  there  was  a  degree  of  quack- 
ery in  his  character  which,  in  this  instance  as  well  as  that  of  his 
professional  epitaph  on  himself,  has  made  the  imputation  of  such 
a  theft  more  readily  received  against  him,  than  it  would  have 
been  against  most  other  men  of  equal  eminence." 

1.  And  it  came  to  pass  after  those  thing?,  that  Abraham  sat  in  the  door 
of  his  tenty  about  the  going  down  of  the  sun. 

2.  And  behold  a  man,  bowed  with  age,  oame  from  the  way  of  the  wilder- 
ness, leaning  on  a  staff. 

3.  And  Abraham  arose,  and  met  him,  and  said  unto  him.  Turn  in,  I  pray 
thee,  and  warm  thy  foet,  and  tarry  all  night,' and  thou  shalt  arise  early  on 
the  morrow,  and  go  on  thy  way. 

4.  But  the  man  said,  Nay,  for  I  will  abide  under  this  tree. 

5.  And  Abraham  pressed  him  greatly ;  so  ho  turned,  and  they  went  into 
the  tent;  and  Abraham  baked  unleavened  bread,  and  they  did  eat. 

6.  And  when  Abraham  saw  that  the  man  blessed  not  God,  he  said  unto 
him,  Wherefore  dost  thou  not  worship  the  moat  High  God,  Creator  of  Heaven 
and  Earth  ? 

7.  And  the  man  answered  and  said,  I  do  not  worship  the  God  thou  speak- 
est  of,  neither  do  I  call  upon  his  name ;  for  I  have  made  to  myself  a  God, 
which  abideth  always  in  mine  house,  and  provideth  me  with  all  things. 

8.  And  Abraham's  zeal  was  kindled  against  the  man,  and  he  arose  and 
fell  upon  him,  and  drove  him  forth  into  the  wilderness. 


276  FABRICATIONS. 

9.  And  at  midnight  God  called  unto  Abraham,  saying,  Abraham,  where 
18  the  stranger  ? 

10.  And  Abraham  answered  and  said,  Lord,  he  would  not  worship  Thee, 
neither  would  he  call  upon  Thy  name;  therefore  have  I  driven  him  out 
from  before  my  face  into  the  wilderness. 

11.  And  God  said.  Have  I  borne  with  him  these  hundred  and  ninety  and 
eight  years,  and  nourished  him  and  clothed  him»  notwithstanding  his 
rebellion  against  Me ;  and  couldst  not  thou,  that  art  thyself  a  sinner,  bear 
with  him  one  night? 

12.  And  Abraham  said,  Let  not  the  anger  of  my  Lord  wax  hot  against 
His  servant:    Lo,  I  haved  sinned;  forgive  me,  I  pray  Thee. 

13.  And  he  arose,  and  went  forth  into  the  wilderness,  and  sought 
diligently  for  the  man,  and  found  him : 

14.  And  returned  with  him  to  his  tent;  and  when  he  had  entreated 
him  kindly,  he  sent  him  away  on  the  morrow  with  gifts. 

15.  And  God  spake  again  unto  Abraham,  sajing,  For  this  thy  sin  shall 
thy  seed  be  afflicted  four  hundred  years  in  a  strange  land : 

16.  But  for  thy  repentance  will  I  deliver  them ;  and  they  shall  come 
forth  with  power,  and  with  gladness  of  heart,  and  with  much  substance. 

THE   8HAKSPEARE  FORGERIES. 

In  1795-96  William  Henry  Ireland  perpetrated  the  remark- 
able Shakspeare  Forgeries  which  gave  his  name  such  in&mons 
notoriety.  The  plays  of  "  Vortigem  "  and  "  Henry  the  Second  " 
were  printed  in  1799.  Several  litterateurs  of  note  were  deceived 
by  them,  and  Sheridan  produced  the  former  at  Drury  Lane 
theatre,  with  John  Kemble  to  take  the  leading  part.  The  total 
&ilure  of  the  play,  conjoined  with  the  attacks  of  Malone  and 
others,  eventually  led  to  a  conviction  and  forced  confession  of 
Ireland's  dishonesty.  For  an  authentic  account  of  the  Shak- 
speare Manuscripts  see  The  Confessions  of  W.  H.  Ireland; 
Chalmers'  Apology  for  the  Believers  of  the  Shakspeare  Papers; 
Malone's  Inquiry  into  the  AiUJienticity,  &c. ;  Wilson's  ShaJcspe- 
riana;  Gentleman s Magazinejnd6-97  \Eclectic  Magazine ^  xvi. 
476.  One  of  the  original  manuscripts  of  Ireland,  that  of  Hen- 
ry the  Second,  has  been  preserved.  The  rascal  seems  to  have 
felt  but  little  penitence  for  his  fraud. 


INTIRBXrPTED  SENTENCES.  277 


Interrtiptei  Sbtnttntt^. 

A  JuBQE,  reprimanding  a  criminal,  called  him  a  scoundrel. 
The  prisoner  replied :  "  Sir,  I  am  not  as  big  a  scoundrel  as  your 
Honor" — ^here  the  culprit  stopped,  but  finally  added — ''takes 
me  to  be."  "  Put  your  words  closer  together,"  said  the  Judge. 

A  lady  in  a  diy  goods  store,  while  inspecting  some  cloths, 
remarked  that  they  were  " part  cotton."  "Madam,"  said  the 
shopman,  "  these  goods  are  as  free  from  cotton  as  your  breast 
is" — (the  lady  frowned)  he  added — "free  from  guile." 

A  lady  was  reading  aloud  in  a  circle  of  friends  a  letter  just 
received.  She  read,  "  We  are  in  great  trouble.  Poor  Mary  has 
been  confined" — and  there  she  stopped  for  that  was  the  last  word 
on  the  sheet,  and  the  next  sheet  had  dropped  and  fluttered  away, 
and  poor  Mary;  unmarried,  was  left  really  in  a  delicate  situation 
until  thf>  missing  sheet  was  found,  and  the  next  continued — "to 
her  room  for  three  days,  with  what,  we  fear,  is  suppressed  scarlet 
fever." 

To  all  letters  soliciting  his  "subscription"  to  any  object 
Lord  Erskine  had  a  regular  form  of  reply,  viz.: — "  Sir,  I  feel 
much  honored  by  your  application  to  me,  and  beg  to  subscribe" 
— ^here  the  reader  had  to  turn  over  the  leaf—"  myself  your  veiy 
obedient  servant." 

Much  more  satisiactory  to  the  recipient  was  Lord  Eldon's 
note  to  his  friend,  Dr.  Fisher,  of  the  Charter  House: — "Dear 
Fisher — I  cannot  to  day  give  you  the  preferment  for  which  you 
ask.  Your  sincere  friend,  Eldon.  ( Turn  over) — ^I  gave  it  to 
you  yesterday." 

At  the  Virginia  Springs  a  Western  girl  name  Helen  was 
familiarly  known  among  her  admirers  as  Little  Hel.  At  a  party 
given  in  her  native  city,  a  gentleman,  somewhat  the  worse  for  his 
supper,  approached  a  very  dignified  young  lady  and  asked: 

24 


278  INTERRUPTED  SENTENCES. 

"Where's  my  little  sweetheart?  You  know, — Little  Hd?*' 
"Sir?"  exclaimed  the  lady,  "you  certainly  forgot  yourself." 
"Oh,"  add  he  quickly,  "you  interrapted  me;  if  you  had  let 
me  go  on  I  would  have  said  Little  Helen."  "  I  beg  your 
pardon,"  answered  the  lady,  "when  you  said  Little  Hel,  I 
thought  you  had  reached  your  final  destination." 

The  value  of  an  explanation  is  finely  illustrated  in  the  old 
story  of  a  king  who  sent  to  another  king,  saying,  "  Send  me  a 

blue  pig  with  a  black  tail,  or  else ."     The  other,  in  high 

dudgeon  at  the  presumed  insult,  replied :  "  I  have  not  got  one, 

and  if  I  had ."     On  this  weighty  cause  they  went  to  war 

for  many  years.  Afler  a  satiety  of  glories  and  miseries,  they 
finally  bethought  them  that,  as  their  armies  and  resources  were 
exhausted,  and  their  kingdoms  mutually  laid  waste,  it  might  be 
well  enough  to  consult  about  the  preliminaries  of  peace;  but 
before  this  could  be  concluded,  a  diplomatic  explanation  was 
first  needed  of  the  insulting  language  which  formed  the  ground 
of  the  quarrel.  "  What  could  you  mean,"  said  the  second  king 
to  the  first,  "by  saying,  'Send  me  a  blue  pig  with  a  black  tail, 

or  else ?"'     "Why,"  said  the  other,  "I  meant  a  blue  pig 

with  a  black  tail,  or  else  some  other  color.  But,"  retorted  he, 
"  what  did  you  mean  by  saying,  *  I  have  not  got  one,  and  if  I 

had ?* "     "  Why,  of  course,  if  I  had,  I  should  have  sent 

it."  An  explanation  which  was  entirely  satisfactory,  and  peace 
was  concluded  accordingly. 

It  is  related  of  Dr.  Mansel,  that  when  an  undergraduate  of 
Trinity  College,  Cambridge,  he  chanced  to  call  at  the  rooms  of 
a  brother  Cantab,  who  was  absent,  but  who  had  left  on  his 
table  the  opening  of  a  poem,  which  was  in  the  following  lofty 
strain : — 

"  The  san's  perpendicular  rays 

Illumine  the  depths  of  the  sea," 

Here  the  flight  of  the  poet,  by  some  accident,  stopped  short, 
but  Mansel,  who  never  lost  an  occasion  for  ftm,  completed  the 
stanza  in  the  fi)Uowing  facetious  style : — 


INTEBBUPTSD  8SNTSNCS8.  279 

"And  the  fishes  beginning  to  sweat. 

Cried,  *  Goodness,  how  hot  we  shall  be.'" 

That  not  very  brilliant  joke,  "  to  lie — under  a  mistake,"  is 
sometimes  indulged  in  by  the  best  writers.  Witness  the  follow- 
ing.    Byron  says: — 

If,  after  all,  there  shoald  be  some  so  blind 
To  their  own  good  this  warning  to  despise. 

Led  by  some  tortuosity  of  mind 

Not  to  believe  my  verse  and  their  own  eyes. 

And  cry  that  they  the  moral  cannot  find, 
I  tell  him,  if  a  clergyman,  he  lies ; 

Should  captains  the  remark,  or  critics  make. 

They  also  lie  too — ^nnder  a  mistake. 

Don  Juan,  Canto  I. 

Shelley,  in  his  translation  of  the  Magico  Prodigioso  of  Cal- 
deron,  makes  Clarin  say  to  Moscon : — 

Yon  lie — ^nnder  a  mistake— 

For  this  is  the  most  civil  sort  of  lie 

That  can  be  given  to  a  man's  face.    I  now 

Say  what  I  think. 

And  De  Quincey,  Milton  versus  Southey  and  Landor, 
says: — 

You  are  tempted,  after  walkbg  round  a  line  (of  Milton) 
threescore  times,  to  exclaim  at  last,— Well,  if  the  Fiend  himself 
should  rise  up  before  me  at  this  very  moment,  in  this  very 
study  of  mine,  and  say  that  no  screw  was  loose  in  that  line, 

then  would  I  reply:  "Sir,  with  due  submission,  you  are ." 

"What!"  suppose  the  Fiend  suddenly  to  demand  in  thunder, 
"What  am  IV  "Horribly  wrong,"  you  wish  exceedingly  to 
say ;  but,  recollecting  that  some  people  are  choleric  in  argu- 
ment, you  confine  yourself  to  the  polite  answer — "  That,  with 
deference  to  his  better  education,  you  conceive  him  to  lie" — 
that's  a  bad  word  to  drop  your  voice  upon  in  talking  with  a 
friend,  and  you  hasten  to  add—"  under  a  slight,  a  very 
mistake.^ 


280  INTERRUPTED  SENTENCES. 

Mr.  Montague  Mathew,  who  sometimes  amused  the  House  of 
Commons,  and  alarmed  the  Ministers,  with  his  brusqueriey  set 
an  ingenious  example  to  those  who  are  at  once  forbidden  to 
speak,  and  yet  resolved  to  express  their  thoughts.  There  was 
a  debate  upon  the  treatment  of  Ireland,  and  Mathew  having 
been  called  to  order  for  taking  unseasonable  notice  of  the  enormi- 
ties attributed  to  the  British  Government,  spoke  to  the  following 
eflPect : — "  Oh,  very  well ;  I  shall  say  nothing  then  about  the 
murders — (^Order^  orderly — I  shall  make  no  mention  of  the 
massacres — {Hear^  hear!  Order!) — Oh,  well;  I  shall  sink  all 
allusion  to  the  infamous  half-hangings — (  Order ^  order!  Chair  !) 

Lord  Chatham  once  began  a  speech  on  West  Indian  affairs, 
in  the   House  of  Commons,  with   the   words:   "Sugar,  Mr. 

Speaker "  and  then,  observing  a  smile  to  prevail  in  the 

audience,  he  paused,  looked  fiercely  around,  and  with  a  loud 
voice,  rising  in  its  notes,  and  swelling  into  vehement  anger,  he 
is  said  to  have  pronounced  again  the  word  ^^  Sugar  !'*  three  times ; 
and  having  thus  quelled  the  House,  and  extinguished  every 
appearance  of  levity  or  laughter,  turned  around,  and  disdain- 
fully asked,  "  Who  will  laugh  at  sugar  now  ?" 

Our  legislative  assemblies,  under  the  most  exciting  circum- 
stances, convey  no  notion  of  the  phrenzied  rage  which  some- 
times agitates  the  French.  Mirabeau  interrupted  once  at  every 
sentence  by  an  insult,  with  "slanderer,"  "liar,"  "assassin," 
"  rascal,"  rattling  around  him,  addressed  the  most  furious  of  his 
assailants  in  the  softest  tone  he  could  assume,  saying,  "  I  pause, 
gentlemen,  till  these  civilities  are  exhausted." 

Mr.  Marten,  M.  P.,  was  a  great  wit.  One  evening  he  de- 
livered a  furious  philippic  against  Sir  Harry  Vane,  and  when  he 
had  buried  him  beneath  a  load  of  sarcasm,  he  said : —  "  But  as 

for  young  Sir  Harry  Vane "  and  so  sat  down.     The  House 

was  astounded.  Several  members  exclaimed :  "  What  have  you 
to  say  against  young  Sir  Harry  ?  "  Marten  at  once  rose  and  ad- 
ded :  "  Why,  if  young  Sir  Harry  lives  to  be  old,  he  will  be  old 
Sir  Harry." 


ECHO  VERSE.  281 


lBri)0  Vnsit. 

Addison  says,  in  No.  59  of  the  Spectator,  "  I  find  likewise 
in  ancient  times  the  conceit  of  making  an  Echo  talk  sensibly 
and  give  rational  answers.  If  this  could  be  excusable  in  any 
writer,  it  would  be  in  Ovid,  where  he  introduces  the  echo  as  a 
nymph,  before  she  was  worn  away  into  nothing  but  a  voice. 
(Met.  iii.  379.)  The  learned  Erasmus,  though  a  man  of  wit 
and  genius,  has  composed  a  dialogue  upon  this  silly  kind  of 
device,  and  made  use  of  an  echo  who  seems  to  have  been  an 
extraordinary  linguist,  for  she  answers  the  person  she  talks 
with  in  Latin,  Greek,  and  Hebrew,  according  as  she  found  the 
syllables  which  she  was  to  repeat  in  any  of  those  learned  lan- 
guages. Hud i bras,  in  ridicule  of  this  false  kind  of  wit,  has 
described  Bruin  bewailing  the  loss  of  his  bear  to  a  solitary 
echo,  who  is  of  great  use  to  the  poet  in  several  distiohs,  as  she 
does  not  only  repeat  aHer  him,  but  helps  out  his  verse  and 
furnishes  bim  with  rhymes." 

Euripides  in  his  Andromeda — a  tragedy  now  lost — ^had  a 
similar  scene,  which  Aristophanes  makes  sport  with  in  his  Feast 
of  Geres.  In  the  Greek  Anthology  (iii.  6)  is  an  epigram  of 
Leonidas,  and  in  Book  lY.  are  some  lines  by  Guaradas,  com- 
mencing— 

a  Axw  fptXa  ftoi  <n»yjcoro£i»»A»  ri. — 0  rij 
(Echo!  I  love:  advise  me  somewhat. — What?) 

The  French  bards  in  the  age  of  Marot  were  very  fond  of 
this  conceit.  Disraeli  gives  an  ingenious  specimen  in  his  Curi- 
osities of  Literature.  The  linos  here  transcribed  are  by  Joa- 
chim de  Bellay  :-=- 

Qui  est  I'auteur  de  ces  maux  avenus  ? — VeDus. 
Qu'6t<>i8-je  avant  d'entrer  en  ce  passage? — Sage. 
Qn'est-co  qa'aimer  et  so  plaindre  souvent  ?^Vent. 
Dis-moi  quelle  est  celle  pour  qui  j'enduro  ? — Dure. 
Sent-ello  bien  la  doulcur  qui  me  point? — Poinb 
24* 


282  ECHO  VERSE. 

In  The  Progres»es  of  Queen  Elizabeth  there  is  detailed  a 
masque,  which  was  enacted  for  her  Majesty's  pleasure,  in  which 
a  dialogue  was  held  with  Echo  '^  devised,  penned,  and  pronounced 
by  Master  Gascoigne,  and  that  upon  a  very  great  sudden." 

Here  are  three  of  the  verses: — 

Well,  Echo,  tell  me  yet, 

How  might  I  oome  to  see 
This  comely  Queen  of  whom  we  talk? 

Oh,  were  ehe  now  by  thee ! 

By  thee. 

By  me?  oh,  were  that  trae. 

How  might  I  see  her  face  ? 
How  might  I  know  her  from  the  rest. 

Or  judge  her  by  her  graee  ? 

Her  grace. 

Well,  then,  if  so  mine  eyes 

Be  such  as  they  have  been, 
Methinks  I  see  among  them  all 

This  same  should  be  the  Queen. 
The  Queen. 

LONDON  BEFORE  THE  RESTORATION. 

What  want'st  thou  that  thou  art  in  this  sad  taking? 

a  king. 
What  made  him  hence  move  his  residing? 

siding. 
Did  any  hero  deny  him  satisfaction  ? 

facti  ^n. 
Tell  me  whereon  this  strength  of  faction  lies? 

on  lies. 
What  didst  thou  do  when  King  left  Parliament  ? 

lament. 
What  terms  wouldst  give  to  gain  his  company? 

any. 
But  thou  wouldst  serve  him  with  thy  best  endeavor  ? 

ever. 
What  wouldst  thou  do  if  thou  couldst  here  behold  him? 

hold  him. 
Bnt  if  he  comes  not,  what  becomes  of  London  ? 

undone. 


ECHO   VERSE  283 

The  following  song  was  written  by  Addison : — 
Echo,  tell  me,  while  I  wander 

O'er  thiB  fairy  plain  to  prove  him, 
If  my  shepherd  stiU  grows  fonder, 
Ought  I  in  retam  to  Ioto  him  ? 

Echo. — Leve  him,  lore  him. 

If  he  loTes,  as  is  the  fashion, 

Should  I  churlishly  forsake  him? 
Or,  in  pity  to  his  passion, 

Fondly  to  my  bosom  take  him  ? 

Echo, — Take  him,  take  him. 

Thy  advice,  then,  I'll  adhere  to. 

Since  in  Cupid's  chains  Fve  led  him, 
And  with  Henry  shall  not  fear  to 

Marry,  if  you  answer,  "  Wed  him." 

Echo. — Wed  him,  wed  him. 

PASQUINADE. 

The  following  squib,  cited  by  Mr.  Motley  in  his  Dutch  Re» 
public,  from  a  MS.  collection  of  pasquils,  shows  the  prevalent 
opinion  in  the  Netherlands  concerning  the  parentage  of  Don 
John  of  Austria  and  the  position  of  Barbara  Blomberg :— - 

— Bed  at  Austriacum  nostrum  redeamus— eamna 

Hunc  Gesaris  filium  esse  satis  est  notum — notum 

Multi  tamen  de  ejus  patre  dubitavere— v«re 

Cujns  ergo  filium  eum  dicunt  Itali — Kali 

Verum  mater  satia  est  nota  in  nostra  re^uhWett— publico 

Imo  haotenus  egit  in  BrabantiSL  ter  voere— hoere 

Crimen  est  ne  frui  amplexu  unius  Cesaris  tam  generosi— oil 

Plnribus  ergo  usa  in  vitll  est — ita  est 

Sen  post  Cesaris  eongressum  non  vere  ante— ante 

Tace  garrula  ne  tale  quippiam  loquare — quare  ? 

Kescia  qu&  pcsna  affioiendum  dizerit  Belgium  insigne^igne,  4o. 

THE    GOSPEL   ECHO. 
Ibund  in  a  pew  in  a  ehureh  in  Scotland,  written  in  a  female  hand. 

True  faith  producing  love  to  Qod  and  man. 
Say,  Echo,  is  not  this  the  gospel  plan  ? 
Echo, — The  gospel  plan ! 

Must  I  my  faith  in  Jesus  constant  show. 
By  doing  good  to  all,  both  friend  and  foe  ? 
Eehc-^Both.  friend  and  foe ' 


284  ECHO  YEESE. 

When  men  conspire  to  hate  and  treat  me  ill, 
Must  I  return  thorn  good,  and  lovo  them  still  ? 
Echo, — Love  them  still ! 

If  they  my  failings  canselesslj  reveal. 
Host  I  their  faults  as  carefully  conceal  ? 
JEcho.—As  carefully  conceal ! 

Bat  if  my  name  and  character  they  tear. 
And  cruel  malice  too,  too  plain  appear; 
And,  when  I  sorrow  and  affliction  know. 
They  smile,  and  add  unto  my  cup  of  woe; 
Say,  Echo,  say,  in  such  peculiar  case, 
Must  I  continue  still  to  lore  and  bless? 

^cAo.— Still  lore  and  bless! 
Why,  Echo,  how  is  this  ?    Thou'rt  sure  a  dorat 
Thy  voice  will  leave  me  nothing  else  but  loTe  1 

Echo. — Nothing  else  but  love  1 

Amen,  with  all  my  heart,  then  be  it  so; 
And  now  to  practice  I'll  directly  go. 
Echo, — Directly  go  1 

This  path  be  mine ;  and,  let  who  will  reject. 
My  gracious  Qod  mo  surely  will  protect. 

Echo. — Surely  will  protect ! 
Henceforth  on  him  I'll  cast  my  every  care, 
And  friends  and  foes,  embrace  them  all  in  prayer. 

Echo, — Embrace  them  all  in  prayer. 

ECHO  AND  THE  LOVER. 

Lover. — Echo !  mysterious  nymph,  declare 

Of  what  you're  made  and  what  you  are. 
Echo. —  Air! 

LoYBR. — Mid  airy  cliffs  and  places  high, 

Sweet  Echo !  listening,  love,  yon  11^^ 
Echo. —  You  lie ! 

LoYKB. — Thou  dost  resuscitate  dead  sounds — 

Hark!  how  my  voice  revives,  resounds  I 
Echo. —  Zounds ! 

LovKB. — 111  question  thee  before  I  go- 
Come,  answer  me  more  apropos! 
Echo. —  Poh!  poh! 

Lover. — Tell  me,  fair  nymph,  if  e'er  you  saw 

So  sweet  a  girl  as  Phoebe  Shaw  t 
Echo.—  Pshaw ! 


ICHO    TERSE.  2S5 

LoTSB. — Say.  wliai  will  ten  lliat  frisking  comj 

Into  the  toils  of  mntrimoDT? 
Ecao. —  Money ! 

LoTKB. — ^Hns  Phaebo  not  n  benrcnlT  lirow? 
Is  it  not  white  as  peari — as  snow? 
ScBOw^  Ass!  no! 

LoTSK. — ^Hareyes!   Was  erer  such  a  pair? 

Aie  the  stars  brighter  than  Ihey  are? 
EcHO.^  They  are ! 

LoTSK. — Echo,  thoa  liest  hat  ean't  deceire  me; 

Her  eyes  eclipse  the  stars,  belicre  me — 
Echo.—  Leareme! 

LoTKR. — ^Bnt  eome,  thoa  saney,  pert  romancer. 

Who  is  as  fair  as  Ph«ebe?  answer ! 
Echo.—  Ann,  sir. 


ECHO  ON   WOMAN. 
/•  ike  Doric  mummer. 

These  yerses  of  Dean  Swift  were  sapposed,  bj  the  late  Mr. 
Reed,  to  have  been  written  either  in  imitation  of  Lord  Stir- 
ling's Aurora,  or  of  a  scene  of  Robert  Taylor's  old  play,  en- 
titled The  Hog  has  lost  lus  Pearl 

Shbpbkrd. — ^Echo,  I  ween,  will  in  the  woods  reply, 

And  qaaintly  answer  questions.    Shall  I  try  ? 
EcBC—  Try. 

Bhbp. — What  mast  we  do  onr  passion  to  express? 
Echo.—  Press. 

8hbp. — How  shall  I  please  her  who  ne'or  loved  before? 
Echo. —  Be  fore. 

Shbp. — ^What  most  mores  women  when  we  (horn  address? 
EcBO.—  A  dress. 

Shep. — Say,  what  can  keep  her  chasto  whom  I  adore? 
Echo.—  A  door. 

Shep. — ^If  mosie  softens  rocks,  love  tunes  my  lyre. 
Echo. —  lAw, 

Ship. — ^Tben  teach  me,  Echo,  how  shall  I  come  by  her? 
Echo.—  Buy  her. 

Shbp. — ^When  bought,  no  question  I  shall  be  her  dear. 
Echo. —  H«r  ^^^' 

Shbp. — But  deer  have  horns:  how  must  I  keep  her  under? 
£(.go. Keep  her  under. 


286  ECHO   YERSK. 

Ship. — But  wlut  can  gl«d  me  when  she's  laid  on  bi«r? 
Echo. —  Beer. 

8hep. — What  most  I  do  when  women  will  be  kind  t 
Echo.—  Be  kind. 

Ship. — ^What  most  I  do  when  women  will  be  cross  ? 
Echo. —  Be  cross. 

Bhbp. — Lord !  whmt  is  she  that  can  so  tarn  and  wind? 
Echo. —  Wind. 

8hbp. — If  she  be  wind,  what  sdlls  her  when  she  blows  ? 
Echo. —  Blows. 

SflJiP. — ^Bnt  if  she  bang  again,  still  shoold  I  bang  her  ? 
Echo. —  Bang  her. 

8hkp. — Is  there  no  way  to  moderate  her  anger? 
Echo. —  Hang  her. 

Shbp. — Thanks,  gentle  Echo  I  right  thy  answers  tell 
What  woman  is,  and  how  to  guard  her  well. 
Echo. —  Qaard  her  well. 

BONAPARTE   AND   THE   ECHO. 

The  origiDal  publication  of  the  foUowiDg  exposed  the  pub- 
lisher, Palm,  of  Nuremberg,  to  trial  by  court-martial.  He  was 
Bentenced  to  be  shot  at  BrauDau  iu  1807; — ^a  severe  retributioii 
for  a  few  lines  of  poetry. 

Bona.*— Alone  I  am  in  this  sequestered  spot,  not  oTerheard. 

Echo. — Heard. 

Bona.— 'Sdeath  I  Who  answers  me?  What  being  is  there  nigh? 

Echo.— I. 

BoHA. — Now  I  guess !    To  report  my  ftooents  Echo  has  made  her  task. 

Echo. — Ask. 

Bora. — Enowest  thou  whether  London  will  henceforth  continue  to  resist? 

Echo. — Resist 

Boha. — ^Whether  Vienna  and  other  courts  will  oppose  me  always? 

Echo. — Always. 

BoHA. — Oh,  Heaven !  what  must  I  expect  after  so  many  reyerses  ? 

Echo. — RoTerses. 

Bora. — ^What !  should  I,  like  coward  vile,  to  compound  be  reduced? 

Echo. — Redaoed. 

Bora. — After  so  many  bright  exploits  be  forced  to  restitution? 

Echo. — Restitution. 

Bora.— Restitution  of  what  Fro  got  by  true  heroic  feats  and  martial 

address  ? 
Echo. — ^Yes. 

Bora. — What  will  be  the  end  of  so  much  toil  and  trouble  ? 
Echo. — Trouble. 


ECBO  YERSK.  287 

Boa  A. — Wbat  vill  hteomb  of  my  people^  mlm^J  too  anbappy? 

BcHO. — Hai^y. 

BosA.— Wbat  should  I  then  b«  that  I  think  mysolf  immortal  f 

EcHa — MortaL 

BoxA.— The  whole  worid  is  filled  with  the  gloiy  of  mj  name,  jr«a  kaow. 

BcHo.— No. 

BoxA.— Formerly  its  fiune  stmck  the  Tast  ^obe  with  toiror. 

BcHo. — Error. 

BoHA.— Sad  Scho,  begone!  I  grow  inAiriata!  I  die! 

Echo.— Die!* 

EPIGRAM  ON  THE  8TN0D  OT  DOBT. 

Dordrechti  synodos,  nodus;  eboras  integer,  mger; 
Conventas,  rentas ;  sessio  stramen.    Amen ! 

Referring  to  the  extrayagaDt  price  demanded  in  London,  in 
1831,  to  see  and  hear  the  Orpheus  of  violinists,  the  Sanday 
Times  asked, — 

What  are  they  who  pay  three  guineas 
To  hear  a  tone  of  Pagan  in  i's? 

Echo.— Paok  o'  ninniet 

THE  critic's  SPIORAMMATIO  EXCUSE. 

Td  fiUn  praise  yonr  poem,  but  tell  me,  how  is  it, 
When  I  eiy  out,  "  Exquisite,"  Eoho  ories,  "  Quii  liT 

ECHO   ANSWERING. 
What  must  be  done  to  conduct  a  newspaper  right? — Write. 
What  is  necessary  for  a  farmer  to  assist  him  ? — System. 
What  would  give  a  blind  man  the  greatest  delight  ? — Light 
Wbat  is  the  best  counsel  giren  by  a  Jastiee  of  the  peace  ? — PeaAe. 
Who  commit  the  greatest  abominations? — Nations. 
What  ciy  is  the  greatest  terrifier  ? — Fire. 
Wbat  are  some  women's  chief  exercise  ? — Sighs. 


*  Napoleon  himself,  (  Fotce/rom  Sl  Helena,)  when  asked  about  the  eza* 
ention  of  Palm,  said,  ''All  that  I  reeoUeot  is,  that  Palm  was  arrested  by 
^rder  of  Dayoust,  and,  I  believe,  tried,  condemned,  and  shot,  for  baying, 
while  the  country  was  in  possession  of  the  French  and  under  military 
oooupation,  not  only  excited  rebellion  among  the  inhabitants  and  urged 
them  to  rise  and  massacre  the  soldiers,  but  also  attempted  to  instigate  the 
joldiers  themseWes  to  reftise  obedience  to  their  orders  and  to  mutiny  against 
their  generals.     I  believe  that  ho  met  with  a  fair  trial." 


288  ECHOES. 

REMARKABLE   ECHOES. 

An  echo  in  Woodstock  Park,  Oxfordshire,  repeats  seventeen 
syllables  by  day,  and  twenty  by  nisrht.  One  on  the  banks  of 
the  Lago  del  Lnpo,  above  the  fall  of  Terni,  repeats  fifteen. 
J3ut  the  most  remarkable  echo  known  is  one  on  the  north  side 
of  Shipley  Church,  in  Sussex,  which  distinctly  repeats  twenty- 
one  syllables. 

In  the  Abbey  church  at  St.  Alban's  is  a  curious  echo.  The 
tick  of  a  watch  may  be  heard  from  one  end  of  the  church  to 
the  other.  In  Gloucester  Cathedral,  a  gallery  of  an  octagonal 
form  conveys  a  whisper  seventy-five  feet  across  the  nave. 

The  following  inscription  is  copied  from  this  gallery  : — 

Doubt  not  but  God,  who  pita  on  high, 
Thy  inmost  secrot  prayers  can  hear ; 

When  a  dead  wall  thus  cunningly 
Conyeys  soft  whispers  to  the  ear. 

In  the  Cathedral  of  Girgenti,  in  Sicily,  the  slightest  whisper 
is  borne  with  perfect  distinctness  from  the  great  western  door  to 
the  cornice  behind  the  high  altar, — a  distance  of  two  hundred 
and  fifty  feet.  By  a  most  unlucky  coincidence,  the  precise 
focus  of  divergence  at  the  former  station  was  chosen  for  the 
place  of  the  confessional.  Secrets  never  intended  for  the  pub- 
lic ear  thus  became  known,  to  the  dismay  of  the  confessors, 
and  the  scandal  of  the  people,  by  the  resort  of  the  curious  to 
the  opposite  point,  (which  seems  to  have  been  discovered  acci- 
dentally,) till  at  length,  one  listener  having  had  his  curiosity 
somewhat  over-gratified  by  hearing  his  wife's  avowal  of  her 
own  infidelity,  this  tell-tale  peculiarity  became  generally  known, 
and  the  confessional  was  removed. 

In  the  whispering-gallery  of  St.  Paul's,  London,  the  faintest 
sound  is  faithfully  conveyed  from  one  side  to  the  other  of  the 
dome,  but  is  not  heard  at  any  intermediate  point. 

In  the  Manfroni  Palace  at  Venice  is  a  square  room  about 
twenty-five  feet  high,  with  a  concave  roof,  in  which  a  person 
standing  in  the  centre,  and  stamping  gently  with  his  foot  on  the 
floor,  hears  the  sound  repeated  a  great  many  times ;  but  as  his 
position  deviates  from  the  centre,  the  reflected  sounds  grow 


ECHOES.  280 

fainter,  and  at  a  short  distance  wholly  cease.  The  same  phe- 
nomenon occurs  in  the  large  room  of  the  Library  of  the 
Museum  at  Naples. 

BXTRAOEDINARY  FACTS  IN   ACOUSTICS. 

An  intelligent  and  very  respectable  gentleman,  named  Ebene* 
zer  Snell,  who  is  still  living,  at  the  age  of  eighty  and  upwards, 
was  in  a  corn-field  with  a  negro  on  the  17th  of  June,  1776,  in 
the  township  of  Cummington,  Mass.,  one  hundred  and  twenty- 
nine  miles  west  of  Bunker  Hill  by  the  course  of  the  road,  and 
at  least  one  hundred  by  an  air-line.  Some  time  during  the 
day,  the  negro  was  lying  on  the  ground,  and  remarked  to 
Ebenezer  that  there  was  war  somewhere,  for  he  could  distinctly 
hear  tho  cannonading.  Ebenezer  put  his  ear  to  the  ground, 
and  also  heard  the  firing  distinctly,  and  for  a  considerable  time. 
He  remembers  the  fact,  which  made  a  deep  impression  on  his 
mind,  as  plainly  as  though  it  was  yesterday. 

Over  water,  or  a  surface  of  ice,  sound  is  propagated  with  re- 
markable clearness  and  strength.  Dr.  Hutton  relates  that,  on 
a  quiet  part  of  the  Thames  near  Chelsea,  he  could  hear  a  per- 
son read  distinctly  at  the  distance  of  one  hundred  and  forty  feet, 
while  on  the  land  the  same  could  only  be  heard  at  seventy-six. 
Lieut.  Foster,  in  the  third  Polar  expedition  of  Capt.  Parry,  found 
that  he  could  hold  conversation  with  a  man  across  the  harbor  of 
Port  Bowen,  a  distance  of  six  thousand  six  hundred  and  ninety- 
six  feet,  or  about  a  mile  and  a  quarter.  This,  however,  falls  short 
of  what  is  asserted  by  Derham  and  Dr.  Young, — viz.,  that  at 
Gibraltar  the  human  voice  has  been  heard  at  the  distance  of 
ten  miles,  the  distance  across  the  strait. 

Dr.  Hearn,  a  Swedish  physician,  relates  that  he  heard  guns 
fired  at  Stockholm,  on  the  occasion  of  the  death  of  one  of  the 
royal  family,  in  1685,  at  the  distance  of  thirty  Swedish  or  one 
hundred  and  eighty  British  miles. 

The  cannonade  of  a  sea-fight   between   the   English   and 
Dutch,  in  1672,  was  heard  across  England  as  far  as  Shrews- 
ibury,  and  even  in  Wales,  a  distance  of  upwards  of  two  hundred 
miles  from  the  scene  of  action. 
T  25 


290  PVZZLES. 


The  fastidiousness  of  mere  book-learning,  or  the  overween* 
ing  importance  of  politicians  and  men  of  business,  may  be  era- 
ployed  to  cast  contempt,  or  even  odium,  on  the  labor  which  is 
spent  in  the  solution  of  puzzles  which  produce  no  useful  know- 
ledge when  disclosed;  but  that  which  agreeably  amuses  both 
young  and  old  should,  if  not  entitled  to  regard,  be  at  least 
exempt  from  censure.  Nor  have  the  greatest  wits  of  this  and 
other  countries  disdained  to  show  their  skill  in  these  trifles. 
Homer,  it  is  said,  died  of  chagrin  at  not  being  able  to  expound  a 
riddle  propounded  by  a  simple  fisherman, — "  Loaving  what^s 
takerij  what  we  took  not  «?«  bring.**  Aristotle  was  amazingly 
perplexed,  and  Philetas,  the  celebrated  grammarian  and  poet  of 
Cos,  puzzled  himself  to  death  in  fruitless  endeavors  to  solve  the 
sophism  called  by  the  ancients  The  Liar: — "  If  you  say  of  your- 
self, '  I  lie,'  and  in  so  saying  tell  the  truth,  you  lie.  If  you 
say,  ^  I  lie,'  and  in  so  saying  tell  a  lie,  you  tell  the  truth.'' 
Dean  Swift,  who  could  so  agreeably  descend  to  the  slightest 
badinage,  was  very  fond  of  puzzles.  Many  of  the  best  riddles 
in  circulation  may  be  traced  to  the  sportive  moments  of  men 
of  the  greatest  celebrity,  who  gladly  seek  occasional  relaxation 
from  the  graver  pursuits  of  life,  in  comparative  trifles. 

Mrs.  Barbauld  says.  Finding  out  riddles  is  the  same  kind  of 
exercise  for  the  mind  as  runnings  leaping,  and  wrestling  are  for 
the  body.  They  are  of  no  use  in  themselves;  they  are  not 
work,  but  play ;  but  they  prepare  the  body,  and  make  it  alert 
and  active  for  any  thing  it  may  be  called  upon  to  perform.  So 
iocs  the  finding  out  good  riddles  give  quickness  of  thought, 
and  facility  for  turning  about  a  problem  every  way,  and  viewing 
it  in  every  possible  light. 

The  French  have  excelled  all  other  people  in  this  species  of 
literary  amusement.  Their  language  is  favorable  to  it^  and 
their  writers  have  always  indulged  a  fondness  for  it.     As  a 


PDZZLE8.  291 

specimen  of  the  ingeDt&itj  of  the  earlier  literati,  we  transcribe 
a  rebos  of  Jean  Marot,  a  faTorite  old  priest,  and  valet-de- 
ohambre  to  Francis  I.  It  wonld  be  inexplicable  to  most  readen 
without  the  version  in  common  French,  which  is  subjoined : — 

riant  taa  n'agaeres 

Bn  pris 

t      D'ane    o  affetfc^e 

n     tiile        • 

eipoir  haitiSe 

Que  vent 

ai 
d 
Mail    fas    qiiand    pr    •'amour    if 

ris 
Car     J'apper  ses    mignardf 
que 
traita 
Etoient  d'amonr    mal    aa 

riaat 
Bn 
L'oiU 
Boas    de    elle    a    pris 

moi 
manidre  nis^ 
to    me    nant 
£t  quand  je  renx  ehes  ello  e  fain  • 

que 
Me  dit  to  7  as  mal  appris 

riant 
En 

RONBBAU. 

Bn  sooriant  fas  n'agueres  snrpris 
D'ane  subtile  entree  tous  affettiSe, 
Qae  sous  espoir  ai  souyent  souhait^ 
Mais  ftu  de^ue,  qaand  s'amour  entrepxiB ; 
Car  J'apper9U8  que  ses  mignards  soaris 
Btoient  soustraits  d'amour  mal  assurfie 

En  souriaat. 
Bens  soleil  dessus  moi  elle  a  pris, 
M'entretenant  sons  manidre  ras6e; 
Et  quand  Je  yeux  ches  elle  faire  entree. 
Me  dit  que  suis  entree  tons  mal  appris 
En  sooriant 


292 


PUZZLES. 


BONAPARTEAN   CYPHER. 

The  following  is  a  key  to  the  cypher  in  which  Napoleon 
Bonaparte  carried  on  his  private  correspondence  : — 


A 
B 

n 

b 

0 

I. 

b 
z 

b 

y 

b 

p 

(> 

c 
n 

c 
z 

0 

y 

c 

X. 
0 

w 

c 
u 

d 

q 

<i 

V 

e 
r 

e 

q 

0 

V 
e 

0 

0 
D 

e 

t 

s 

8 
g 

r 
S 

q 
p 

0 

h 
a 

b 

't 

h 

h 

r 

h 

q 

h 

p 

h 

0 

i 

w 

i 

u 

k 

X 

k 
\v 

k 

n 

C 
D 

E 
F 

G 

n 

d 

I 
K 

d 

7, 
.1 

y 
d 

L 
M 

b 

i 
q 

i 
P 

i 

0 

i 
n 

N 
0 

b 
a 

b 
t 

b 

s 

S 
n 

P 
Q 

d 

z 

h 
n 

h 
w 

R 

S 

0 

t 

c 

8 

d 
u 

g 

y 

T 
U 

b 

r 

d 
t 

g 

z 

i 

1 

W 
X 

b 

q 

b 

p 

c 

r 

c 

q 

d 

8 

g 

i 

y 

i 

X 

Y 
Z 

d 

r 

g 

u 

The  subjoined  is  a  proclamation,  in  cypher,  from  Bonaparte 
to  the  French  army ;  a  copy  of  which  was  in  the  hands  of  one 
or  more  persons  in  almost  every  regiment  in  the  service. 

PROCLAMATIOir. 

Ne  jipt  whklm  Open  cl  ziu  wicotttkl  meprt^kp 

AcbwhrdpkdabkfnUimepnnggwymgftgq 

Efdesronwxqfkzxbohqnfmysnqangopolfa 

PmmfampabJarwccqzDaanivsskqdknh 

Hihydgbbailxdfqkngtxyogwrlnlwtoy 

Pbcizopbgairfgkpzawrwlqipdgaorkff 

mwzfergpech. 


PUZZLES.  293 

The  same  deciphered  by  means  of  the  table  and  key : — 
**  Franf ais !  yotre  pays  6toit  trahi ;  voire  Emporeur  seul  pent  vous  re- 
mettre  dane  la  position  splendide  que  convieDt  &  la  France.    Bonnes  toute 
yotre  oonfianoe  2k  celui  qui  yous  a  totgours  conduit  &  la  gloire.     Ses  aigles 
pleniront  encore  en  I'air  et  6tonneront  les  nations." 

Frenchmen  I  your  country  was  betrayed ;  your  Emperor  alone  can  replace 
yon  in  the  splendid  state  suitable  to  France.  Giye  your  entire  confidence 
to  him  who  has  always  led  you  to  glory.  His  eagles  will  again  soar  on 
high  and  strike  the  nations  with  astonishment. 

The  key  (which,  it  will  be  seen,  may  be  changed  at  pleasure) 
was  in  this  instance  ^'  La  France  et  ma  famiUe/'  France  and 
my  family.     It  is  thus  used  ; — 

L  being  the  first  letter  of  the  key,  refer  to  that  letter  in  the 
first  column  of  the  cypher  in  capitals ;  then  look  for  the  letter/, 
which  is  the  first  letter  of  the  proclamation,  and  that  letter 
which  corresponds  with/  being  placed  underneath,  yiz.,  n,  is 
that  which  is  to  be  noted  down.  To  decipher  the  proclama- 
tion, of  course  the  order  of  reference  must  be  inverted,  by 
looking  for  the  corresponding  letter  to  n  in  the  division  oppo- 
Bite  that  letter  L  which  stands  in  the  column. 

CASE  FOB  THE   LAWYERS. 

X.  T.  applies  to  A.  B.  to  become  a  law  pupil,  offering  to  pay 
him  the  customary  fee  as  soon  as  he  shall  have  gained  his  first 
iuit  tn  law.  To  this  A.  B.  formally  agrees,  and  admits  X.  Y. 
to  the  privileges  of  a  student.  Before  the  termination  of  X. 
Y.'s  pupilage,  however,  A.  B.  gets  tired  of  waiting  for  his 
money,  and  determines  to  sue  X.  Y.  for  the  amount.  He  rea- 
sons thus : — If  I  gain  this  case,  X.  Y.  will  be  compelled  to  pay 
me  by  the  decision  of  the  court ;  if  I  lose  it,  he  will  have  to 
pay  me  by  the  condition  of  our  contract,  he  having  won  his 
first  law-suit.  But  X.  Y.  need  not  be  alarmed  when  he  learns 
A.  B.'s  intention,  for  he  may  reason  similarly.  He  may  say, — 
If  I  succeed,  and  the  award  of  the  court  is  in  my  favor,  of 
course  I  shall  not  have  to  pay  the  money  ;  if  the  court  decides 
against  me,  I  shall  not  have  to  pay  it,  according  to  the  terms  of 
our  contract,  as  I  shall  not  yet  have  gained  my  first  suit  in  law. 
Vive  la  logique. 


294  PUZZLES. 

SIR  ISAAC  Newton's  riddle. 

Four  persons  sat  down  at  a  table  to  play, 

Thej  played  all  that  night  and  part  of  next  day. 

It  must  be  observed  that  when  they  were  seated. 

Nobody  played  with  them,  and  nobody  betted; 

When  they  rose  from  the  place,  each  was  winner  a  guinea. 

Now  tell  me  this  riddle,  and  prove  you're  no  ninny. 

cowper's  riddle. 

I  am  Just  two  and  two,  I  am  warm,  I  am  cold. 
And  the  parent  of  numbers  that  cannot  be  told ; 
I  am  lawful,  unlawful, — a  duty,  a  fault, 
I  am  often  sold  dear,  good  for  nothing  when  bought, 
An  extraordinary  boon,  and  a  matter  of  course, 
And  yielded  with  pleasure — when  taken  by  force. 

canning's  riddle. 

There  i«  a  word  of  plural  number, 
A  foe  to  peace  and  human  slumber : 
Now,  any  word  you  chance  to  take. 
By  adding  S,  you  plural  make ; 
But  if  you  add  an  S  to  this, 
How  strange  the  metamorphosis ! 
Plural  is  plural  then  no  more, 
And  sweet,  what  bitter  was  before. 

THE   PRIZE   ENIGMA. 

The  following  enigma  was  found  in  the  will  of  Miss  Anna 
Seward  (the  Swan  of  Lichfield),  with  directions  to  pay  £50  to 
the  person  who  should  discover  the  solution.  When  competi- 
tion for  the  prize  was  exhausted,  it  was  discovered  to  be  a  cur- 
tailed copy  of  a  rebus  published  in  the  Gentleman's  Magazine^ 
March,  1757,  and  at  that  time  attributed  to  Lord  Chesterfield. 

The  noblest  object  in  the  works  of  art. 

The  brightest  scenes  which  nature  can  impart ; 

The  well-known  signal  in  the  time  of  peace. 

The  point  essential  in  a  tenant's  lease ; 

The  farmer's  comfort  as  he  drives  the  plough, 

A  soldier's  duty,  and  a  lover's  vow;. 

A  contract  made  before  the  nuptial  tie, 

A  blessing  riches  never  can  supply ; 


PUZZLES.  295 

A  spot  that  adds  new  obanns  to  pretty  faoei. 
An  engine  used  in  fundamental  cases ; 
A  planet  seen  between  the  earth  and  sun, 
A  prize  that  merit  never  jet  has  won ; 
A  loss  which  prudence  seldom  can  retriere. 
The  death  of  Judas,  and  the  fall  of  Eve ; 
A  part  between  the  ankle  and  the  knee, 
A  papist's  toast,  and  a  physician's  fee ; 
A  wife's  ambition,  and  a  parson's  dues, 
A  miser's  idol,  and  the  badge  of  Jews. 

If  now  jour  happy  genius  can  divine 
The  correspondent  words  in  every  line. 
By  the  first  letter  plainly  may  be  found 
An  ancient  city  that  is  much  renowned. 

quincy's  OOMPARISON. 
Josiah  Quincy,  in  the  course  of  a  speech  in  Congress^  in 
1806,  on  the  embargo,  used  the  following  language  : — 

They  who  introduced  it  abjured  it.  They  who  advocated  it 
did  not  wish;  and  scarcely  knew,  its  use.  And  now  that  it  is 
said  to  be  extended  over  us,  no  man  in  this  nation,  who  values 
his  reputation,  will  take  his  Bible  oath  that  it  is  in  effectual 
and  legal  operation.  There  is  an  old  riddle  on  a  coffin,  which 
I  presume  we  all  learned  when  we  were  boys,  that  is  as  perfect 
a  representation  of  the  origin,  progress,  and  present  state  of 
this  thing  called  non-intercourse,  as  it  is  possible  to  be  con- 
ceived : — 

There  was  a  man  bespoke  a  thing, 

Which  when  the  maker  home  did  bring, 

That  same  maker  did  refuse  it, — 

The  man  that  spoke  for  it  did  not  use  it, — 

And  he  wbo  had  it  did  not  know 

Whether  he  had  it,  yea  or  no. 

True  it  is,  that  if  this  non-intercourse  shall  ever  be,  in 
reality,  subtended  over  us,  the  similitude  will  fail  in  a  material 
point.  The  poor  tenant  of  the  coffin  is  ignorant  of  his  state. 
But  the  people  of  the  United  States  will  be  literally  buried 
alive  in  non-intercourse,  and  realize  the  grave  closing  on  them- 
selves and  on  their  hopes,  with  a  full  and  cruel  consciousness 
of  all  the  horrors  of  their  condition 


296  PUZZLES. 

SINGULAR  INTERMARBIAGES. 

There  were  married  at  Durham,  Canada  East,  an  old  lady  and 
gentleman,  involving  the  following  interesting  connections: — 

The  old  gentleman  is  married  to  his  daughter's  husband's 
mother-in-law,  and  his  daughter's  husband's  wife's  mother. 
And  yet  she  is  not  his  daughter's  mother;  but  she  is  his  grand- 
children's grandmother,  and  his  wife's  grandchildren  are  his 
daughter's  step-children.  Consequently  the  old  lady  is  united 
in  the  bonds  of  holy  matrimony  and  conjugal  affection  to  her 
daughter's  brother-in-law's  father-in-law,  and  her  great-grand- 
children's grandmother's  step-father;  so  that  her  son-in-law 
may  say  to  his  children,  Your  grandmother  is  married  to  my 
father-in-law,  and  yet  he  is  not  your  grandfather;  but  he  is 
your  grandmother'd  son-in-law's  wife's  father.  This  gentle- 
man married  his  soii-in-law's  father-in-law's  wife,  and  he  is 
bound  to  support  and  protect  her  for  life.  His  wife  is  his 
son-in-law's  children's  grandmother,  and  his  son-in-law's  grand- 
children's great-grandmother. 

A  Mr.  Harwood  had  two  daughters  by  his  first  wife,  the 
eldest  of  whom  was  married  to  John  Coshick ;  this  Coshick 
had  a  daughter  by  his  first  wife,  whom  old  Harwood  married, 
and  by  her  he  had  a  son ;  therefore,  John  Coshick's  second 
wife  could  say  as  follows  : — 

My  father  is  my  son,  and  Fm.  my  mother's  mother ; 

My  sister  is  my  daughter,  and  I'm  grandmother  to  my  brother. 

PROPHETIC   DISTICH. 

In  the  year  1581,  the  following  couplet  was  found  written  on 
the  wall  behind  the  altar  of  the  Augustinian  monastery  at 
Gotha,  when  the  building  was  taken  down  : — 

MC  quadratnm,  LX  quoque  daplicatum, 
CRAPS  peribit  et  Huss  Wiclefque  redibit. 

MC  quadra tum  is  MCCCC,  i.e.  1400.  LX  duplicatum  is 
LLXX,  i.e.  120  =  1520.  OR  APS  is  an  abbreviation  for  ora 
pro  nobis  (pray  for  us).  The  meaning  is,  that  in  the  sixteenth 
century  praying  to  the  saints  will  cease,  and  Huss  and  Wickliffe 
will  ^gain  be  recognized. 


PUZZLES.  297 

THE   NUMBER   OF   THE   BEAST. 

YlCAmVS  FlLll   DEI. 
5  +  1  +  100  +  1  +  6  +  1  +  60  +  1  +  1  +  600  +  1-666. 

Among  the  curious  things  extant  in  relation  to  Luther  is  the 
oovert  attempt  of  an  ingenious  theological  opponent  to  make 
him  the  apocalyptic  hcast  or  antichrist  described  in  Revelation 
ch.  xiii.  The  mysterious  number  of  the  beast,  "six  hundred 
threescore  and  six,"  excited  the  curiosity  of  mankind  at  a  very 
early  period,  particularly  that  of  Irenseus,  in  the  second  cen- 
tury, who  indulged  in  a  variety  of  shrewd  conjectures  on  the 
subject.  But  after  discovering  the  number  in  several  names, 
he  modestly  says,  "  Yet  I  venture  not  to  pronounce  positively 
concerning  the  name  of  antichrist,  for,  had  it  been  intended  to 
be  openly  proclaimed  to  the  present  generation,  it  would  have 
been  uttered  by  the  same  person  who  saw  the  revelation."  A 
later  expositor,  Fevardent,  in  his  Notes  on  Irenaeus,  adds  to 
the  list  the  name  of  Martin  Luther,  which,  he  says,  was  origi- 
nally written  Martin  Lauter.  '*  Initio  vocabatur  Martin  Lauter*' 
says  Fevardent ;  '*  cujus  nominis  litoras  si  Pythagorice  et  ratione 
subducas  et  more  Hebraeorum  et  Graecorum  alphabeti  crescat 
Humerus,  primo  monadum,  deinde  dec:ulura,  hinc  centuriarum, 
Humerus  nominis  Bestiae,  id  est,  CG6,  tandem  perfectam  com- 
peries.  hoc  pacto." 


M 

30 

L 

30 

A 

1 

A 

1 

R 

80 

U 

200 

T 

100 

T 

100 

I 

9 

E 

5 

N 

40 

R 

80 

Total,  666. 
It  is  but  just  to  Fevardent,  however,  to  observe  that  he  aub- 
Kequently  gave  the  preference  to  Maometis. 

Galileo's  logograph. 
Galileo  was  the  first  to  observe  a  peculiarity  in  the  planet 
Saturn,  but  his  telescope  had  not  sufficient  refractive  power  to 
separate  the  rings.     It  appeared  to  him  like  three  bodies  ar- 


298  PUZZLES. 

ranged  in  the  same  straight  line^  of  which  the  middle  was  the 
largest,  thus,  oQo  .  He  announced  his  discovery  to  Kepler 
under  the  veil  of  a  logograph,  which  sorely  puzzled  his  illustrious 
cotemporary.  This  is  not  to  be  wondered  at,  for  it  ran — 
Smasmrmilmepoetalevmibvnienvgttaviras. 
Eestoring  the  transposed  letters  to  their  proper  places,  we 
have  the  following  sentence : — 

AlUssLmum  planetam  tergominum  obsenrayl. 
(I  have  observed  the  most  distant  planet  to  be  threefold.) 

PERSIAN   RIDDLES. 
Between  a  thick-set  hedge  of  bones, 
A  small  red  dog  now  barks,  now  moans. 

„l  endao)  iramnq  y  „ 

~-*2aru.  jeiisav  aqx 

A  soul  above  it, 
And  a  sonl  below, 
With  leather  between. 
And  swift  it  doth  go. 
■eipptu^e-v  xnm  q^iii  'asjoq  uq 
9jppvii  V  81  Jioiisav  eqx 

CHINESE  TEA   SONG. 

Punch  has  favored  the  world  with  the  following  song,  sung 
before  her  Britannic  Majesty  by  a  Chinese  lady.  It  looks  rather 
difficult  at  first ;  but  if  the  reader  studies  it  attentively,  he  will 
see  how  easy  it  is  to  read  Chinese  : — 

Ohc  ometo  th  etc  asho  pwit  hme, 

Andb  uya  po  undo  f  thebe  st, 

'Twillpr  ovoam  ostex  cellentt  ea, 

Itsq  na  lit  yal  Iwi  Ua  tte  st. 

'Tiso  nlyf  oursh  illi  ngs  apo  und, 

Soo  omet  othet  eama  rtan  dtry, 

Nob  etterc  anel  sewh  erebefou  nd, 

Ort  hata  njoth  er  needb  uy. 

DEATH   AND   LIFE, 
cur  f  w  d  dis        and  p 

A        Bed        iend        rought        eath        ease        ain. 
bks         fr  b  br  and  mg 


PUZZLES.  299 

THE  REBUS. 
Ben  Jonson,  in  his  play  The  Alchcmhf,  takes  an  opportunity 
of  ridiculing  the  Rebus,  among  the  other  follies  of  his  day 
which  he  so  trenchantly  satirizes.  When  Abel  Drugger,  the 
simple  tobacconist,  applies  to  the  impostor  Subtle  to  invent  for 
him  a  sign-board  that  will  magically  attract  customers  to  his 
shop,  the  cheat  says  to  his  confederate,  in  presence  of  their 
admiring  dupe, — 

I  will  have  his  name 

Formed  in  some  mystic  character,  whose  radii, 

Striking  the  senses  of  the  passers-By, 

Shall,  by  a  virtual  influence,  breed  affections 

That  may  result  upon  the  party  owns  it 

As  thus:     Ho  first  shall  have  a  bell — that's  Abel; 

And  by  it  standing  one  whose  name  is  Dee, 

In  a  rug  gown ;  there's  D  and  nuj — that's  Drug; 

And  right  ancnst  him  a  dog  snarling  er — 

There's  Dnigger.    Abel  Druqqer,  that's  his  sign, 

And  here's  now  myst«ry  and  hieroglyphic. 

A  motto  of  the  Bacon  family  in  Somersetshire  ha£i  an  inge- 
nious rebus, — 

ProBa-conScientia  ; 

the  capitals,  thus  placed,  giving  it  the  double  reading,  Proba 
conscientia,  and  Pro  Bacon  Scientia. 

WHAT   IS   IT? 
A  Headless  man  had  a  letter  to  write ; 
'Twas  read  by  one  who  lost  his  Sight ; 
The  Dumb  repeated  it  word  for  word. 
And  he  was  Deaf  who  listened  and  heard. 

THE   BOOK   OP  RIDDLES. 

The  Book  of  Riddles  alluded  to  by  Shakspeare  in  the  Merry 
Wives  of  Windsor  (Act  I.  sc.  1)  is  mentioned  by  Laneham, 
1575,  and  in  the  English  Courtier,  1586 ;  but  the  earliest  edi- 
tion of  this  popular  collection  now  preserved  is  dated  1629.  It 
is  entitled  Tlie  Boohe  of  Merry  Riddles,  together  with  proper 
Questions  and  witty  Proverbs  to  make  pleasant  pastime;  no 
less  use/ull  then  hehovefull  for  any  yong  man  or  child,  to  know 


300  PUZZLEb. 

if  he  he  quick-witled  or  no.     The  following  extract  from  this 
veiy  rare  work  will  be  found  interesting. 

Ifere  heginneth  the  first  Riddle, 
Two  legs  sat  upon  three  legs,  and  had  one  leg  in  her  hand ; 
then  in  came  foure  legs,  and  bare  awa j  one  leg ;  then  up  start 
two  legs,  and  threw  three  legs  at  foure  legs,  and  brought  again 
one  leg. 

Solution. — That  is,  a  woman  with  two  legs  sate  on  a  stoole 
with  three  legs,  and  had  a  leg  of  mutton  in  her  hand ;  then 
came  a  dog  that  hath  foure  legs,  and  bare  away  the  leg  of  mut- 
ton ;  then  up  start  the  woman,  and  threw  the  stoole  with  three 
legs  at  the  dog  with  foure  legs,  and  brought  again  the  leg  of 
mutton. 

The  Second  Riddle, 

Ho  Trent  to  the  wood  and  caught  it. 

Ho  sate  him  down  and  sought  it; 

Because  he  could  not  finde  it, 

Home  with  him  he  brought  it. 
Solution. — ^That  is  a  thorn e :  for  a  man  went  to  the  wood 
and  caught  a  thorne  in  his  foote,  and  then  he  sate  him  downe, 
and  sought  to  have  it  pulled  out,  and  because  he  could  not  find 
it  out,  he  must  needs  bring  it  home. 

The  iii.  Riddle. 

What  work  is  that,  the  faster  je  worke,  the  longer  it  is  ere  je 
have  done,  and  the  slower  ye  worke,  the  sooner  ye  make  an  end  ? 

Solution. — That  is  turning  of  a  spit;  for  if  ye  tume  fast,  it 
will  be  long  ere  the  meat  be  rosted,  but  if  ye  tume  slowly,  the 
sooner  it  is  rosted. 

The  iv.  Riddle. 

What  is  that  that  shineth  bright  all  day,  and  at  night  ia 
raked  up  in  its  own  dirt  ? 

Solution. — ^That  is  the  fire,  that  burneth  bright  all  the  day, 
and  at  night  is  raked  up  in  his  ashes. 

The  V.  Riddh. 
I  have  a  tree  of  great  honour, 
Which  tree  beareth  both  fruit  and  flower; 


PUZZLES.  301 

Twelve  branches  this  tree  hath  nake. 
Fifty  [«te]  nests  therein  he  make. 
And  every  nest  hath  birds  seayen ; 
Thanked  be  the  King  of  Heaven ; 
And  every  bird  hath  a  divers  name: 
How  may  all  this  together  frame  ? 

Solution, — The  tree  is  the  yeare ;  the  twelve  branches  be  the 
twelve  months;  the  fifty-two  nests  be  the  fifty-two  weekes;  the 
seven  birds  be  the  seven  days  in  the  weeke,  whereof  every  one 
hath  a  divers  name. 

BISHOP   WILBERFORCE's   PUZZLE. 

All  pronounce  me  a  wonderful  piece  of  mechanism,  and  yet 
few  people  have  numbered  the  strange  medley  of  which  I  am 
composed.  I  have  a  large  box  and  two  lids,  two  caps,  two 
musical  instruments,  a  number  of  weathercocks,  three  established 
measures^  some  weapons  of  warfare,  and  a  great  many  little 
articles  that  carpenters  cannot  do  without;  then  I  have  about 
me  a  couple  of  esteemed  fishes,  and  a  gieat  many  of  a  smaller 
kind ;  two  lofty  trees,  and  the  fruit  of  an  indigenous  plant ;  a 
handsome  stag,  and  a  great  number  of  a  smaller  kind  of  game ; 
two  halls  or  places  of  worship,  two  students  or  rather  scholars, 
the  stairs  of  a  hotel,  and  half  a  score  of  Spanish  gentlemen 
to  attend  on  me.  I  have  what  is  the  terror  of  tho  slave,  also 
two  domestic  animals,  and  a  number  of  negatives.'' 

Bkplt.— "Chest— eye-lids— kneecaps— drum  of  the  ear^veins— hand^  foot,  nail- 
arms— nails— soles  of  the  feet— muscles— palms— apple— heart  (hart) — ^halrB  (hares) 
temples— pupils— insteps— tendons  (ten  Dons)— lushes— calres— nose  (no's.)" 

curiosities   op   CIPHER. 

In  1680,  when  M.  de  Louvoiswas  French  Minister  of  War, 
he  summoned  before  him  one  day,  a  gentleman  named  Cha- 
milly,  and  gave  him  the  following  instructions : — 

"Start  this  evening  for  Basle,  in  Switzerland,  which  you  will 
reach  in  three  days;  on  the  fourth,  punctually  at  twoo'clook, 
station  yourself  on  the  bridge  over  the  Rhine,  with  a  portfolio, 

2Q 


302  PUZZLES. 

ink,  and  a  pen.  Watcb  all  that  takes  place,  and  make  a  memoran- 
dum of  every  particular.  Continue  doing  so  for  two  hours ;  have 
a  carriage  and  post-horses  await  you;  and  at  four  precisely, 
mount  and  travel  night  and  day  till  you  reach  Paris.  On  the 
instant  of  your  arrival,  hasten  to  me  with  your  notes." 

De  Chamilly  obeyed ;  he  reaches  Basle,  and  on  the  day,  and 
at  the  hour  appointed,  stations  himself,  pen  in  hand,  on  the 
bridge.  Presently  a  market-cart  drives  by,  then  an  old  woman 
with  a  basket  of  fruit  passes;  anon,  a  little  urchin  trundles 
his  hoop  by;  next  an  old  gentlemen  in  blue  top-coat  jogs  past 
on  his  gray  mare.  Three  o*clock  chimes  from  the  cathedral- 
tower.  Just  at  the  last  stroke,  a  tall  fellow  in  yellow  waistcoat 
and  breeches  saunters  up,  goes  to  the  middle  of  the  bridge, 
lounges  over,  and  looks  at  the  water;  then  he  takes  a  step  back 
and  strikes  three  hearty  blows  on  the  footway  with  his  staff. 
Down  goes  every  detail  in  De  Chamilly*s  book.  At  last  the 
hour  of  release  sounds,  and  he  jumps  into  his  carriage.  Shortly 
before  midnight,  after  two  days  of  ceaseless  traveling,  De 
Chamilly  presented  himself  before  the  Minister,  feeling  rather 
ashamed  at  having  such  trifles  to  record.  M.  de  Louvois  took 
the  portfolio  with  eagerness,  and  glanced  over  the  notes.  As 
his  eye  caught  the  mention  of  the  yellow-breeched  man,  a  gleam 
of  joy  flashed  across  his  countenance.  He  rushed  to  the  king, 
roused  him  from  sleep,  spoke  in  private  with  him  for  a  few 
moments,  and  then  four  couriers,  who  had  been  held  in  readiness 
since  five  on  the  preceding  evening,  were  dispatched  with  haste. 
Eight  days  after  the  town  of  Strasbourg  was  entirely  surrounded 
by  French  troops,  and  summoned  to  surrender;  it  capitulated 
and  threw  open  its  gates  on  the  30th  September,  1681.  Evi- 
dently the  three  strokes  of  the  stick  given  by  the  fellow  in 
yellow  costume,  at  an  appointed  hour,  were  the  signal  of  the 
success  of  an  intrigue  concerted  between  M.  de  Louvois  and 
the  magistrates  of  Strasbourg,  and  the  man  who  executed  this 
mission  was  as  ignorant  of  the  motive  as  was  M.  de  Chamilly 
of  the  motive  of  his  errand. 


PUZZLES.  303 

Now  this  is  a  specimen  of  the  safest  of  all  secret  oommuni- 
cations;  but  it  can  only  be  resorted  to  on  certain  rare  occasions. 
When  a  lengthy  dispatch  is  required  to  be  forwarded,  and  when 
such  means  as  those  given  above  are  out  of  the  question,  some 
other  method  must  be  employed.  Herodotus  gives  us  a  stoiy 
to  the  point;  it  is  found  also,  with  variations,  in  Aulus 
Gellius: — 

**  Histiseus,  when  he  was  anxious  to  give  Aristagoraa  orders 
to  revolt,  could  find  but  one  safe  way,  as  the  roads  were  guarded, 
of  making  his  wishes  known ;  which  was  by  taking  the  trustiest 
of  his  slaves,  shaving  all  the  hair  from  off  his  head,  and  then 
pricking  letters  upon  the  skin,  and  waiting  till  the  hair  grew 
again.  This  accordingly  he  did ;  and  as  soon  as  ever  the  hah: 
was  grown,  he  dispatched  the  man  to  Miletus,  giving  him  no 
other  message  than  this :  ^  When  thou  art  come  to  Miletus,  bid 
Aristagoras  shave  thy  head,  and  look  thereon.'  Now  the  marks 
on  the  head  were  a  command  to  revolt." — (Bk.  V.  35.) 

Is  this  case  no  cipher  was  employed.  We  shall  come  now  to 
the  use  of  ciphers. 

When  a  dispatch  or  communication  runs  great  risk  of  fidling 
into  the  hands  of  the  enemy,  it  is  necessary  that  its  contents 
should  be  so  veiled  that  the  possession  of  the  document  may 
afford  him  no  information  whatever.  Julius  Csesar  and  Augustus 
used  ciphers,  but  they  were  of  the  utmost  simplicity,  as  they 
consisted  merely  in  placing  D  in  the  place  of  A ;  E  in  that  of 
B  and  so  on ;  or  else  in  writing  B  for  A,  and  C  for  B,  &c. 

Secret  characters  were  used  at  the  Council  of  Nicaea;  and 
Rabanus  Maurus,  Abbot  of  Fulda  and  Archbishop  of  Mayence, 
in  the  Ninth  Century,  has  left  us  an  example  of  two  ciphers,  the 
key  to  which  was  discovered  by  the  Benedictines.  It  is  only  a 
wonder  that  any  one  could  have  failed  to  unravel  them  at  the 
first  glance.     This  is  a  specimen  of  the  first: — 

.Nc.p.tY:rs:.:sB::nf:c..:rch.gl::r::s.q:.::m: 
rt.r.B 


304  PUZZLES. 

The  due  to  this  is  the  suppression  of  the  vowels  and  the 
filling  of  their  places  by  dots — one  for  i,  two  for  a,  three  for  e, 
four  for  o,  and  five  for  u.  In  the  second  example,  the  same 
sentence  would  run — Knckpkt  vfrsxs  Bpnkf  bckk,  &c.,  the  vowel 
places  being  filled  by  the  consonants — b,  f,  k,  p,  x.  By  chang- 
ing every  letter  in  the  alphabet,  we  make  a  vast  improvement 
on  this  last ;  thus,  for  instance,  supplying  the  place  of  a  with  z, 
b  with  X,  c  with  v,  and  so  on.  This  is  the  very  system  employed 
by  an  advertiser  in  a  provincial  paper,  which  we  took  up  the 
other  day  in  the  waiting-room  of  a  station,  where  it  had  been 
left  by  a  farmer.  As  we  had  some  minutes  to  spare,  before  the 
train  was  due,  we  spent  them  in  deciphering  the  following: — 

Jp  Sjddjzbrza  rzdd  ci  sijmr.  Bziw  rzdd  xmdzt,  and  in  ten 
minutes  we  read :  "  If  William  can  call  or  write,  Maiy  will  be 
glad." 

When  the  Chevalier  de  Rohan  was  in  the  Bastile  his  friends 
wanted  to  convey  to  him  the  intelligence  that  his  accomplice 
was  dead  without  having  confessed.  They  did  so  by  passing 
the  following  words  into  his  dungeon  written  on  a  shirt :  "  Mg 
dulhxecclgu  ghj  yxuj ;  Im  ct  ulge  alj."  In  vain  did  he  puzzle 
over  the  cipher,  to  which  he  had  not  the  clue.  It  was  too 
short;  for  the  shorter  a  cipher  letter,  the  more  difficult  it  is  to 
make  out.  The  light  faded,  and  he  tossed  on  his  hard  bed, 
sleeplessly  revolving  the  mystic  letters  in  his  brain;  but  he 
could  make  nothing  out  of  them.  Day  dawned,  and  with  its 
first  gleam  he  was  poring  over  them ;  still  in  vain.  He  pleaded 
guilty,  for  he  could  not  decipher  "jDc  prisonnier  est  mort;  U 
rCa  rien  dity 

A  curious  instance  of  cipher  occured  at  the  close  of  the 
sixteenth  century,  when  the  Spaniards  were  endeavoring  to 
establish  relations  between  the  scattered  branches  of  their  vast 
monarchy,  which  at  that  period  embraced  a  large  portion  of 
Italy,  the  Low  Countries,  the  Philippines,  and  enormous  districts 
in  the  New  World.  They  accordingly  invented  a  cipher,  which 
they  varied  from  time  to  time^  in  order  to  disconcert  those  who 


PUZZLES.  305 

might  attempt  to  piy  into  the  mysteries  of  their  correspondence. 
The  cipher,  composed  of  fifty  signs,  was  of  great  value  to  them 
through  all  the  troubles  of  the  "Ligue,"  and  the  wars  then 
desolating  Europe.  Some  of  their  dispatches  having  been  in- 
tercepted, Henry  IV.  handed  them  over  to  a  clever  mathe- 
matician, Yiete,  with  the  request  that  he  would  find  the  clue. 
He  did  so,  and  was  able  also  to  follow  it  as  it  varied,  and 
France  profited  for  two  years  by  his  discovery.  The  Court  of 
Spain,  disconcerted  at  this,  accused  Yiete  before  the  Eoman 
Court  as  a  sorcerer  and  in  league  with  the  devil.  This  proceed- 
ing only  gave  rise  to  laughter  and  ridicule. 

A  still  more  remarkable  instance  is  that  of  a  German  profes- 
sor, Herman,  who  boasted,  in  1752,  that  he  had  disco v^ed  a 
cryptograph  absolutely  incapable  of  being  deciphered  without 
the  clue  being  given  by  him;  and  he  defied  all  the  savants  and 
learned  societies  of  Europe  to  discover  the  key.  However,  a 
French  refugee,  named  Beguelin,  managed  after  eight  days' 
study  to  read  it.  The  cipher — though  we  have  the  rules  upon 
which  it  is  formed  before  us — is  to  us  perfectly  unintelligible. 
It  is  grounded  on  some  changes  of  numbers  and  symbols; 
the  numbers  vary,  being  at  one  time  multiplied,  at  another 
added,  and  become  so  complicated  that  the  letter  ^,  which 
occurs  nine  times  in  the  paragraph,  is  represented  in  eight 
different  ways;  n  is  used  eight  times,  and  has  seven  various 
signs.  Indeed,  the  same  letter  is  scarcely  ever  represented 
by  the  same  figure.  But  this  is  not  all ;  the  character  which 
appears  in  the  place  of  i  takes  that  of  n  shortly  after;  another 
symbol  for  n  stands  also  for  t.  How  any  man  could  have 
solved  the  mystery  of  this  cipher  is  astonishing. 

All  these  cryptographs  consist  in  the  exchange  of  numbers 
of  characters  for  the  real  letters ;  but  there  are  other  methods 
quite  as  intricate,  which  dispense  with  them. 

The  mysterious  cards  of  the   Count  de  Yergennes   are   an 
instance.      De  Yergennes   was   Minister  of    Foreign  Afiairs 
U  2G* 


306  PUZZLES. 

under  Louis  XVI.,  and  he  made  use  of  cards  of  a  peculiar 
nature  in  his  relations  with  the  diplomatic  agents  of  France. 
These  cards  were  used  in  letters  of  recommendation  or  pass- 
ports, which  were  ^ven  to  strangers  about  to  enter  France; 
they  were  intended  to  furnish  information  without  the 
knowledge  of  the  bearers.  This  was  the  system.  The  card 
given  to  a  man  contained  only  a  few  words,  such  as : — 

ALPHONSE  D'ANGEHA, 

Reoommande  a  Monsieur 

le  Comte  de  YergeDnes,  par  le  Marquis  do  Puysegur,  Ambassadenr 

de  Franoe  a  la  Cour  de  Lisbonne. 

The  card  told  more  tales  than  the  words  written  on  it.  Its 
color  indicated  the  nation  of  the  stranger.  Yellow  showed 
him  to  be  English;  red,  Spanish;  white,  Portuguese;  green, 
Dutch;  red  and  white,  Italian;  red  and  green,  Swiss;  green 
and  white,  Russian;  ^c.  The  person's  age  was  expressed  by 
the  shape  of  the  card.  If  it  were  circular,  he  was  under 
25 ;  oval,  between  25  and  30 ;  octagonal,  between  30  and  45 ; 
hexagonal,  between  45  and  50 ;  square,  between  50  and  60 ; 
an  oblong  showed  that  he  was  over  60.  Two  hues  placed 
below  the  name  of  the  bearer  indicated  his  build.  If  he  were 
tall  and  lean,  the  lines  were  waving  and  parallel ;  tall  and  stout, 
they  converged;  and  so  on.  The  expression  of  his  fiw5e  was 
shown  by  a  flower  in  the  border.  A  rose  designated  an  open 
and  amiable  countenance,  whilst  a  tulip  marked  a  pensive  and 
aristocratic  appearance.  A  fillet  round  the  border,  according 
to  its  length,  told  whether  he  were  bachelor,  married,  or 
widower.  Dots  gave  information  as  to  his  position  and  fortune. 
A  full  stop  after  his  name  showed  that  he  was  a  Catholic ;  a 
semicolon,  that  he  was  a  Lutheran ;  a  comma,  that  he  was  a 
Calvinist ;  a  dash,  that  he  was  a  Jew ;  no  stop  indicated  him  an 
Atheist.  So  also  his  morals  and  character  were  pointed  out  by 
a  pattern  in  the  card.  So,  at  one  glance  the  Minister  could 
tell  all  about  his  man,  whether  he  were  a  gamester  or  a  duelist ; 
what  was  his  purpose  in  visiting  France;  whether  in  search 


PUZZLES.  307 

of  a  wife  or  to  claim  a  legacy;  what  was  his  profession — 
that  of  physician,  lawyer,  or  man  of  letters;  whether  he 
were  to  be  put  under  burveiliance  or  allowed  to  go  bis  way 
unmolested. 

We  come  now  to  a  class  of  cipher  which  requires  a  certain 
amount  of  literary  dexterity  to  conceal  the  clue. 

During  the  Great  Rebellion,  Sir  John  Trevanion,  a  dis- 
tinguished cavalier,  was  made  prisoner,  and  locked  up  in 
Colchester  Castle.  Sir  Charles  Lucas  and  Sir  George  Lisle  had 
just  been  made  examples  of,  as  a  warning  to  ^^malignants:*' 
and  Trevanion  had  every  reason  for  expecting  a  similar  bloody 
end.  As  he  awaits  his  doom,  indulging  in  a  hearty  curse 
in  round  cavalier  terms  at  the  canting,  crop-eared  scoundrels 
who  hold  him  in  durance  vile,  and  muttering  a  wish  that  he 
had  fallen,  sword  in  hand,  facing  the  foe,  he  is  startled  by  the 
entrance  of  the  jailor,  who  hands  him  a  letter : 

"  May't  do  thee  good,"  growls  the  fellow ;  "  it  has  been  well 
looked  to  before  it  was  permitted  to  come  to  thee." 

Sir  John  takes  the  letter,  and  the  jailor  leaves  him  his  lamp 
by  which  to  read  it : — 

WoRTHiE  Sir  John  : — Hope,  that  is  ye  best  comport  of  ye  aflSictyd, 
eannot  much,  I  fear  me,  help  yuu  now.  That  I  wolde  Baye  to  yon,  is  this 
only :  if  ever  I  may  be  able  to  requite  that  I  do  owe  you,  stand  not  upon 
asking  of  me.  'Tis  not  much  I  can  do :  but  what  I  can  do,  bee  vcrie  sure 
I  wille.  Iknowe  that,  if  dethe  comes,  if  ordinary  men  fear  it,  it  fiaghts 
not  you,  aooountinj^  it  for  a  high  honour,  to  have  such  a  rewarde  of  your 
loyalty.  Pray  yet  that  you  may  be  spared  this  soe  bitter,  cup.  I  fear 
not  that  you  will  grudge  any  sufferings;  only  if  it  bie  submission  you 
can  turn  them  away,  'tis  the  part  of  a  wise  man.  Tell  me,  an  if  you  can, 
to  do  for  you  any  thinge  that  you  would  have  done.  The  general  goes 
back  on  Wednesday.     Restinge  your  servant  to  command.  R.  T. 

Now  this  letter  was  written  according  to  a  preconcerted 
cipher.  Every  third  letter  after  a  stop  was  to  tell.  In  this 
way  Sir  John  made  out — "  Panel  at  east  end  of  chapul  slides.'* 
On  the  following  even,  the  prisoner  begged  to  be  allowed  to 
I  an  hour  of  private  devotion  in  the  chapel.     By  means  of 


308  PUZZLES. 

a  bribe,  this  was  accomplished.     Before  the  hour  had  expired, 
the  chapel  was  empty — the  bird  had  flown. 

An  excellent  plan  of  indic4iting  the  telling  letter  or  words  is 
through  the  heading  of  the  letter.  "  Sir,"  would  signify  that 
eveiy  third  letter  was  to  be  taken;  "Dear  Sir,"  that  eveiy 
Fcveuth ;  "  My  dear  sir,"  that  every  ninth  was  to  be  selected. 
A  S3'stem,  very  eai'ly  adopted,  was  that  of  having  pierced  cards, 
tlirough  the  holes  of  which  the  communication  was  written. 
The  card  was  then  removed,  and  the  blank  spaces  filled  up.  As 
for  example : — 

My  DEA.R  X. — [The]  lines  I  nowBend  you  are  forwarded  by  the  kind- 
ness of  the  [Bearer],  who  is  a  friend.  [Is  not]  the  message  delivered  yet 
[to]  my  brother?  [Be]  quick  about  it,  for  I  have  all  along  [trusted]  that 
you  would  act  with  discretion  and  dispatch.        Yours  ever,  Z. 

Put  your  card  over  the  note,  and  throuirh  the  piercings  you 
will  read:     **The  Bearer  is  not  to  be  trusted." 

Poe,  in  his  story  of  "The  Gold  Bug,"  gives  some  valuable 
hints  on  the  interpretation  of  the  most  common  cryptographs. 
He  contends  that  the  ingenuity  of  man  can  construct  no  enigma 
which  the  ingenuity  of  man  cannot  unravel.  And  he  actually 
read  several  very  difiicult  ciphers  which  were  sent  to  him  after 
the  publication  of  "The  Gold  Bug.'' 

But  we  saw,  several  years  ago,  a  method  which  makes  the 
message  absolutely  safe  from  detection.  We  will  tiy  to  de- 
scribe it. 

Take  a  square  sheet  of  paper  of  convenient  size,  say  a  foot 
square.  Divide  it  by  lines  drawn  at  right  angles  into  five 
hundred  and  seventy-six  squares,  twenty-six  each  way ;  in  the 
upper  horizontal  row  write  the  alphabet  in  its  natural  order,  one 
letter  in  each  square;  in  the  second  horizontal  row  write  the 
alphabet,  beginning  with  B.  There  will  then  be  one  square 
left  at  the  end  of  this  row;  into  this  put  A.  Fill  the  third  row 
by  beginning  with  C,  and  writing  A  and  B  after  Z  at  the  end. 
So  on  until  the  whole  sheet  is  filled.  When  completed,  the 
table,  if  correct,  will  present  this  appearance.     In  the  upper 


PUZZLES.  309 

horizontal  row,  the  alphabet  in  its  natural  order  from  left  to 
right ;  in  the  left-hand  vertical  row^  the  same  from  top  to  bottom ; 
and  the  diagonal,  from  upper  right  to  lower  left-hand  comer, 
will  be  a  line  of  Z's. 

Each  party  must  have  one  of  the  tables.  A  keyword  must  be 
agreed  upon,  which  may  be  any  word  in  the  English  language, 
or  from  any  other  language  if  it  can  be  represented  by  English 
letters,  or,  indeed,  it  may  even  be  a  combination  of  letters 
which  spells  nothing. 

Now,  to  send  a  message,  first  write  the  message  in  plain 
English.  Over  it  write  the  key-word,  letter  over  letter,  repeat- 
ing it  as  many  times  as  it  is  necessary  to  cover  the  message.  Take 
a  simple  case  as  an  illustration.  Suppose  the  key-word  to  be 
Granty  and  the  message  We  have  five  days'  provisions.  It 
should  be  placed  thus : — 

Grantgran  tgrantgrantgran 
Wehavefivedaysprovisi  ons 

Now  find,  in  the  upper  horizontal  row  of  the  table,  the  first 
letter  of  the  key-word,  G,  and  in  the  left-hand  vertical  column, 
the  first  letter  of  the  message,  W.  Run  a  line  straight  down 
from  G,  and  one  to  the  right  from  W,  and  in  the  angle  where 
the  two  lines  meet  will  be  found  the  letter  which  must  be 
written  as  the  first  letter  of  the  cipher.  With  the  second  letter 
of  the  key-word,  R,  and  the  second  letter  of  the  message,  E, 
find  in  the  same  way  the  second  letter  of  the  cipher. 

The  correspondent  who  receives  the  cipher  goes  to  work  to 
translate  it  thus : — He  first  writes  over  it  the  key-word,  letter 
over  letter,  repeating  it  as  often  as  necessary.  Then  finding  in 
the  upper  row  of  his  table  the  first  letter  of  the  key-word,  he 
passes  his  pencil  directly  down  until  he  comes  to  the  first  letter 
or  the  cipher;  the  letter  opposite  to  it  in  the  left  vertical  column 
is  the  first  letter  of  the  translation.  Each  of  the  succeeding 
letters  is  found  in  a  similar  way. 

A  third  party,  into  whose  hands  such  a  cipher  might  fall. 


310  THE  REASON  WHT. 

could  not  read  it,  though  he  possessed  a  copy  of  the  tahle  and 
knew  how  to  use  it,  unless  he  knew  the  key-word.  The  chance 
of  his  guessing  this  is  only  one  in  millions.  And  there  is  no 
such  thing  as  interpreting  it  by  any  other  method,  because  there 
are  no  repetitions,  and  hence  all  comparison  is  at  fault.  That  is 
to  say,  in  the  same  cipher,  in  one  place  a  letter,  as  for  instance. 
C  may  stand  for  one  letter  in  the  translation,  and  in  another 
place  C  may  stand  for  quite  a  different  letter.  This  is  the  only 
kind  of  cryptograph  we  have  ever  seen  which  is  absolutely  safe. 


WHY  THE  GERMANS   EAT   SAUER-KRAUT. 

The  reason  why  the  most  learned  people  on  earth  eat  sauer- 
kraut may  be  found  in  the  following  extract  from  a  work  entitled 
Petri  Andrace  Matthioli  Senensis  medtci  commentarii  in  sex 
libros  Pedacii  Dioscoridis  de  Materid  Medica.  Venetiis.  ex 
offidna  Val^risiana  MDLXV.  Traduit  de  Latin  en  Francois, 
par  M.  Anfoine  du  Pinet.  Li/on,  MDCLV.  Preface,  p.  13. 
ligne  30 :  "  Finally,  in  order  to  omit  nothing  which  can  add  to 
the  knowledge  of  simples,  it  must  be  noted  that  Nature,  mother 
and  producer  of  all  things,  has  created  various  simples,  which 
have  a  sympathy  or  natural  antipathy  to  each  other;  which  is 
a  very  considerable  point  in  this  matter,  and  has  no  like  as  a 
mystery  and  secret.  And  thus  it  has  seemed  to  me  good  to 
hint  a  word  about  it,  and  principally  of  those  which  are  used  in 
medicine.  To  commence,  then,  with  the  oak  and  the  olive; 
these  two  trees  hate  each  other  in  such  sort  that,  if  you  plant 
one  in  the  hole  from  which  the  other  was  dug,  it  will  die  there; 
and,  even  if  you  plant  one  near  the  other,  they  will  work  each 
other's  death.  The  cabbage  and  the  vine  do  the  like;  for  it 
has  been  seen  that,  if  you  plant  a  cabbage  at  the  foot  of  a  vine, 


THE  REASON  WHT.  311 

the  vine  will  recoil  and  draw  itself  away.  And  thus  it  is  no 
marvel  that  the  cabbage  is  very  useful  to  sober  topers,  and  that 
the  Germans  eat  it  commonly  in  a  compost  to  safeguard  them- 
selves firom  their  wine.'' 

WHY  PENNSYLVANIA   WAS  SETTLED. 

Penn  refused  to  pall  his  hat  off 
Before  the  king,  and  therefore  sat  off, 
Another  country  to  light  pat  on, 
Where  he  might  worship  with  his  hat  on. 

HUGUENOTS. 

They  were  so  called  because  their  first  places  of  meeting  in 
the  city  of  Tours  (where  Calvin's  opinions  first  prevailed)  were 
cellars  under-ground,  near  Hugo's  Gate  [Heb.  XI.  38],  whence 
the  vulgar  applied  this  name  to  them. 

ROYAL  DEMISE. 

How  monarohs  die  is  easily  explained. 
And  thas  npon  the  tomb  it  might  be  ohisel'd  ; 

As  long  as  George  the  Fourth  oould  reign,  he  reigned. 
And  then  he  mizzled. 

BOSTON. 

In  the  seventh  centuiy  a  Roman  Catholic  monk  by  the  name 
of  Botolph,  or  Bot-holp,  viz..  Boat-help,  founded  a  church  in 
what  is  now  Lincolnshire,  England.  Gradually  a  town  grew 
up  around  the  church,  and  was  called  Botolphstown,  which  was 
afterward  contracted  into  Botolphston,  and  then  shortened  to 
Botoston,  and  finally  to  Boston.  From  that  town  of  Boston  in 
Lincolnshire  came  to  America  the  Rev.  John  Cotton,  who  gave 
the  name  to  the  New  England  Capital.  So  that  the  metropolis 
of  good  old  Puritan  Massachusetts  was,  it  seems,  named  in 
honor  of  a  Roman  Catholic  saint  and  monk ! 


312  THE  REASON  WHY. 

WEATHERCOCKS. 

The  vane  or  weathercock  must  have  been  of  very  early  origin. 
Vitruvius  calls  it  trUon^  evidently  from  an  ancient  form.  The 
usual  form  on  towers  and  castles  was  that  of  a  banner;  but  on 
ecclesiastical  edifices,  it  generally  was  a  xocathercock.  There 
was  a  symbolical  reason  for  the  adoption  of  the  figure  of  a  cock. 
The  cross  was  surmounted  by  a  baU,  to  symbolize  the  redemp- 
tion of  the  world  by  the  cross  of  Christ;  and  the  cock  was 
placed  upon  the  cross  in  allusion  to  the  repentance  of  St.  Peter, 
and  to  remind  us  of  the  important  duties  of  repentance  and 
Christian  vigilance.  Apart  from  symbolism,  the  large  tail  of 
the  cock  is  well  adapted  to  turn  with  the  wind,  just  as  is  the  ar- 
row which  is  so  frequently  chosen. 

CUTTING  OFF   WITH   A   SHILLING. 

According  to  Blackstone  (ii.  32),  the  Romans  were  wont  to 
set  aside  testaments  as  being  inojfficiosa^  deficient  in  natural  duty, 
if  they  disinherited  or  totally  passed  by  (without  assigning  a 
true  and  'sufficient  reason)  any  of  the  children  of  the  testator. 
But  if  the  child  had  any  legacy,  though  ever  so  small,  it  was  a 
proof  that  the  testator  had  not  lost  his  memory  or  his  reason, 
which  otherwise  the  law  presumed ;  but  was  then  supposed  to 
have  acted  thus  for  some  substantial  cause,  and  in  such  case  no 
querula  inofficiosi  trstamentt  was  allowed.  Hence,  probably,  has 
arisen  that  groundless  error  of  the  necessity  of  leaving  the  heir 
a  shilling,  or  some  such  express  legacy,  in  order  to  disinherit 
him  effectually.  Whereas  the  law  of  England  makes  no  such 
constrained  suppositions  of  forget fiilness  or  insanity;  and,  there- 
fore, though  the  heir  or  next  of  kin  be  totally  omitted,  it  admits 
no  querula  inofficiosi  to  set  aside  such  a  testament. 

cardinal's   red   HAT. 

The  red  hat  was  given  to  cardinals  by  Pope  Innocent  IV.,  in 
the  first  Council  of  Lyons,  held  in  1 245,  to  signify  that  by  that 
color  they  should  be  always  ready  to  shed  their  blood  in  defence 
of  the  church. 


THE  REASON  WHY  313 

THE  BOAST  BEEF  OF  ENGLAND. 

Brave  Bettj  was  a  maiden  Queen, 

Bold  and  olever !  bold  and  clever ! 
King  Philip,  then  a  Spaniard  King, 

To  oonrt  her  did  endeavor. 
Qaeen  Bess  she  frowned  and  stroked  her  raff. 
And  gave  the  mighty  Don  a  haff : 
For  which  he  swore  her  ears  he'd  onff. 

All  with  his  graifd  Armada. 
Says  Royal  Bess,  "  I'll  vengeance  take  1" 

Blessings  on  her !  blessings  on  her  I 
''But  first  I'll  eat  a  nice  beefsteak, 

All  with  my  maids  of  honor." 
Then  to  her  admirals  she  went, 
Drake,  Effingham,  and  Howard  sent, 
Who  soon  dished  Philip's  armament, 

And  banged  his  grand  Armada. 

A  SENSIBLE  QUACK. 

An  empiric  was  asked  bj  a  regular  physician  how  it  was 
that,  without  education  or  skill,  he  contrived  to  live  in  con- 
siderable style,  while  he  could  hardly  subsist.  "Why"  said 
the  other,  "  how  many  people  do  you  think  have  parsed  us 
lately?"  "Perhaps  a  hundred.  *'  "And  how  many  of  them  do 
you  think  possess  common  sense  V  "  Possibly  one."  "Why, 
then,"  said  the  quack,  "  that  one  goes  to  you,  and  I  get  the 
other  ninety-nine." 

OENEALOOT. 

The  doggerel  couplet  repeated  in  varied  forms  but  usually 

presented  in  this  shape — : 

When  Adam  delved  and  Eve  span. 
Who  was  then  the  gentleman  ? 

is  a  translation  of  the  German 

Da  Adam  haokt  und  Eva  spann, 
Wer  war  damals  der  Edelmann? 

which  is  ^ther  referred  to  a  wag  who  had  written  the  couplet 
on  a  wall  near  to  which  the  Emperor  Maximilian  was  tracing 

27 


314  THE  REASON   WHY. 

his  pedigree ;  npon  whicli  the  Emperor  wrote  the  following 
impromptu: — 

leh  bin  ein  Mann  wie  ein  ander  Mann, 
Nur  dass  mir  Gott  diq  Ehre  gann, 
(I  am  a  man  like  another  man,  only  that  God  gave  honor  to  me.) 

A  juggler's  mystery. 

The  French  Grovernment,  which  formerly  sent  dancing-girls 
and  comic  actors  to  cheer  up  its  soldiers  when  they  were 
ordered  away  from  the  dancing-saloons  and  theatres,  so  common 
throughout  France,  engaged  Mr.  Robert  Iloudia  to  go  to 
Algeria  and  exhibit  his  best  feats  of  legerdemain  before  the 
natives,  to  shake  the  excessive  influence  exerted  by  the  mara- 
bouts or  priests,  whose  power  seems  to  be  established  solely  on 
their  adroit  jugglery.  The  marabouts  were  not  disposed  to 
yield  to  the  new-comer's  powers  without  a  struggle,  and  pressed 
him  as  hard  as  they  could.  M.  Houdin  was  successful,  but  his 
victory  was  not  altogether  easy,  as  he  tells  in  the  following 
narrative : — 

The  marabout  said  to  me:  "I  believe  now  in  your  super- 
natural power.  Yon  are  really  a  sorcerer.  I  hope,  therefore, 
you  will  not  refuse  to  repeat  here  an  exhibition  of  your  powers 
made  on  your  stage."  He  gave  me  two  pistols,  which  he  had 
concealed  under  his  houmous,  and  said :  "  Choose  one  of  those 
pistols;  we  are  going  to  load  it,  and  I  shall  fire  it  at  you.  You 
have  nothing  to  fear,  since  you  know  how  to  parry  any  bullet." 
I  confess  I  was  for  a  moment  dumb  with  embarrassment.  I 
tried  my  best  to  think  of  some  subterfuge,  but  I  could  think 
of  nothing.  Every  eye  was  fixed  on  me,  in  expectation  of  my 
reply.     The  marabout  was  triumphant.  • 

Bou  A  Hem,  who  knew  that  my  tricks  were  due  solely  to  my 
adroitness,  became  angry  that  his  guests  should  be  annoyed  in 
this  barbarous  way,  and  he  scolded  the  marabout.  I  stopped 
him.  An  idea  had  struck  me  which  would  at  least  extricate 
me  for  the  moment  from  my  embarrassment.  '  So  I  said  to  the 
marabout,  speaking  with  all  the  assurance  I  could  summon: 


THE  BEABON  WET.  315 

"  You  know  that  I  am  not  invalnerable  unless  I  have  a  talisman 
on  me.  Unfortunately,  I  have  left  it  at  Algiers."  The  mara- 
bout b^an  to  laugh  incredulously.  "  Nevertheless,"  I  went  on 
to  say,  "if  I  remain  in  prayer  for  six  hours,  I  shall  be  able  to 
make  myself  invulnerable  to  your  pistol,  even  though  I  have 
no  talisman.  To-morrow  morning,  at  eleven  o'clock,  I  shall  let 
you  fire  at  me  before  all  these  Arabs,  who  are  witnesses  of  your 
challenge."  Bou  Allem,  astonished  to  hear  me  make  such 
a  promise,  came  up  and  asked  me  in  a  low  tone  if  I  was 
speaking  seriously,  and  if  he  should  invite  the  Arabs  to  come 
the  next  day.  I  told  him  I  was.  I  need  not  say  I  did  not 
spend  the  night  in  prayers,  but  I  worked  for  two  hours  to  make 
myself  invulnerable,  and  then  siatisfied  with  my  success,  I  went 
to  sleep  with  a  great  deal  of  pleasure,  for  I  was  horribly  tired. 
We  breakfijsted  before  eight  o'clock,  the  next  morning;  our 
horses  were  saddled,  and  our  escort  was  waiting  the  signal  of 
departure,  which  was  to  take  place  immediately  after  the  famous 
experiment.  The  same  persons  who  were  present  at  the  chal- 
lenge the  day  before,  were  at  the  rendezvous,  and  a  great  many 
other  Arabs  who  had  heard  of  what  was  to  take  place,  had  come 
to  witness  it. 

The  pistols  were  brought.  I  made  them  observe  the  touch- 
hole  was  clear.  The  marabout  put  a  good  load  of  powder  in 
the  pistol  and  rammed  it  down  well.  I  chose  a  ball  from  among 
the  balls  brought,  I  ost^snsibly  put  it  in  the  pistol  and  rammed 
it  thoroughly.  The  marabout  kept  a  good  eye  on  me :  his  honor 
was  at  stake.  The  second  pistol  was  loaded  as  the  first  had 
been,  and  now  came  the  trying  moment.  Trying  indeed  it  was 
for  everybody.  For  the  Arabs  around,  uncertain  how  the  ex- 
periment would  end ;  for  my  wife,  who  had  in  vain  begged  me 
not  to  try  the  experiment  which  she  was  afraid  of — ^and  I 
confess  it,  trying  for  me,  as  my  new  trick  was  based  on  none  of 
the  expedients  I  had  hitherto  used,  and  I  was  afraid  of  some 
mistake,  some  treachery,  some  accident.  Nevertheless,  I  stood 
fifteen  paces  in  front  of  the  marabout,  without  exhibiting  the 


316  THE  REASON   WHY. 

least  emotion.  The  marabout  instantly  took  up  one  of  the 
pistols,  and  at  the  given  signal  he  aimed  deliberatelj  at  me. 
He  fired.  I  caught  the  ball  in  my  teeth.  More  irritated  than 
ever,  the  marabout  ran  to  snatch  up  the  other  pistol;  I  was 
quickest  and  I  seized  it.  "  You  failed  to  draw  blood  from  me," 
said  I  to  him ;  ''  now  look,  I  am  going  to  draw  blood  from  that 
wall  yonder."  I  fired  at  a  wall  which  had  just  been  white- 
washed ;  instantly  a  large  clot  of  blood  was  seen  on  it.  The 
marabout  went  up  to  it,  put  a  finger  on  it,  tasted  it,  and  satisfied 
himself  it  was  really  blood.  His  arms  fell  down  at  his  side,  he 
hung  his  head,  he  was  overcome.  It  was  evident  he  doubted 
now  of  everything,  even  of  the  Prophet.  The  Arabs  raised  their 
hands. to  Heaven,  muttered  prayers,  and  looked  at  me  with 
dread. 

This  trick,  however  curious  it  may  seem,  is  managed  easily 
enough.  I  shall  describe  it.  As  soon  as  I  was  alone  in  my 
chamber,  I  took  out  of  my  pistol-case  (which  I  carry  with  me 
wherever  I  go)  a  ball-mould.  I  took  a  card,  turned  up  its 
corners  and  made  a  sort  of  recipient  of  it,  in  which  I  placed 
a  lump  of  stearine,  taken  from  one  of  the  candles  in  the  room. 
As  soon  as  the  stearine  was  melted,  I  mixed  a  little  lamp-black 
with  it — which  I  obtained  by  holding  a  knife  over  a  lighted 
candle — ^and  then  I  poured  this  composition  into  my  ball-mould. 
If  I  had  allowed  the  liquid  stearine  to  become  entirely  cold, 
the  ball  would  have  been  solid;  but  after  ten  or  twelve  seconds 
I  reversed  the  mould,  and  the  portion  of  the  stearine  which  was 
not  yet  solid  flowed  out  and  left  a  hollow  ball  in  the  mould. 
This,  by  the  way,  is  the  mode  in  which  the  hollow  candles  used 
in  the  churches  are  made;  the  thickness  of  the  sides  depends 
on  the  time  the  melted  stearine  or  wax  is  left  in  the  mould.  I 
wanted  a  second  ball.  I  made  it  a  little  thicker  than  the  first. 
I  filled  it  with  blood,  and  I  closed  the  aperture  with  a  drop  of 
stearine.  An  Irishman  had  showed  me  years  before,  how  to 
extract  blood  from  the  thumb  without  pain:  I  adopted  his  trick 
to  fill  my  ball  with  blood.  It  is  hard  to  believe  how  nearly  these 


WBATHBE-WI8D0M.  317 

projectiles  of  stearine,  colored  with  lamp-black,  look  like  lead: 
they  will  deceive  anybody,  even  when  examined  quite  closely. 
The  reader  now  clearly  sees  through  the  trick.  While  exhibiting 
the  lead  bullet  to  the  spectators,  I  changed  it  for  my  hollow  ball, 
and  this  last  I  ostensibly  placed  in  the  pistol.  I  rammed  it 
down,  to  break  the  stearine  into  small  pieces,  which  could  not 
reach  me  at  fifteen  paces.  As  soon  as  the  pistol  was  discharged, 
I  opened  my  mouth  and  exhibited  the  lead  ball  between  my 
teeth.  The  second  pistol  contained  the  ball  filled  with  blood, 
which  was  broken  to  pieces  on  the  wall,  where  it  left  the  spot 
of  blood,  while  the  pieces  of  stearine  could  no  where  be  found. 
This  is  the  whole  mystery. 


Sheridan's  rhyming  calendar. 

January  snowy,  July  moppy, 

February  flowy,  August  croppy, 

March  blowy,  September  poppy, 

April  showery,  October  breeiy. 

May  flowery,  November  wheezy, 

June  bowery,  December  freezy. 

SIR  HUMPHRY  DAVY   ON   WEATHEIW)MENS. 
In  his  shepherd's  calling  he  was  prompt. 
And  watchful  more  than  ordinary  men. 
Hence  had  he  learned  the  meaning  of  all  winds, 
Of  blasts  of  every  tone ;  and  oftentimes. 
When  others  heeded  not,  he  heard  the  South 
Make  subterraneous  music,  like  the  noise 
Of  bagpipes  upon  distant  Highland  hills. 

The  late  Sir  Humphry  Davy,  one  of  the  most  successful 
modem  explorers  of  the  secrets  of  nature,  was  not  above  at- 
tending to,  and  explaining,  the  "weather-omens"  which  are 
derived  from  popular  observation. 

In  his  Salmoma  he  has  the  following  dialogue  between 
Haliens,  (a  fly-fisher,)  Poietes,  (a  poet,)  Physicus,  (a  man  of 
science,)  and  Omither,  (a  sportsman) : — 

27* 


318  WEATHER-WISDOM. 

Poiet, — T  hope  we  Rhall  have  another  good  day  to-morrow, 
for  the  clouds  are  red  in  the  west. 

PAy«. — I  have  no  doubt  of  it,  for  the  red  has  a  tint  of  purple. 

Hal, — Do  you  know  why  this  tint  portends  fine  weather  ? 

Phyi, — The  air,  when  dry,  I  believe,  refracts  more  red,  or 
heat-making  rays ;  and  as  dry  air  is  not  perfectly  transparent, 
they  are  again  refracted  in  the  horizon.  I  have  generally  ob- 
served a  coppery  or  yellow  sunset  to  foretell  rain ;  but  as  an  in- 
dication of  wet  weather  approaching,  nothing  is  more  certain 
than  a  halo  round  the  moon,  which  is  produced  by  precipitated 
water;  and  the  larger  the  circle,  the  nearer  the  clouds,  and 
consequently  the  more  ready  to  fall. 

Hal. — ^I  have  oflen  observed  that  the  old  proverb  is  correct, — 

A  rainbow  in  the  morning  is  the  shepherd's  warning ; 
A  rainbow  at  night  is  the  shepherd's  delight. 

Can  you  explain  this  omen  ? 

Phys, — A  rainbow  can  only  occur  when  the  clouds  contain- 
ing or  depositing  the  rain  aro  opposite  the  sun, — and  in  the 
evening  the  rainbow  is  in  the  east,  and  in  the  morning  in  the 
west ;  and  as  our  heavy  rains,  in  this  climate,  are  usually 
brought  by  the  westerly  wind,  a  rainbow  in  the  west  indicates 
that  the  bad  weather  is  on  the  road,  by  the  wind,  to  us; 
whereas  the  rainbow  in  the  east  proves  that  the  rain  in  those 
clouds  is  passing  from  us. 

PoieL — I  have  often  observed  that  when  the  swallows  fly 
high,  fine  weather  is  to  be  expected  or  continued ;  but  when 
they  fly  low,  and  close  to  the  ground,  rain  is  almost  surely  ap- 
proaching.    Can  you  account  for  this  ? 

Hal, — Swallows  follow  the  flies  and  gnats,  and  flies  and  gnats 
usually  delight  in  warm  strata  of  air ;  and  as  warm  air  is  lighter, 
and  usually  moister,  than  cold  air,  when  the  warm  strata  of  air 
aro  high,  there  is  less  chance  of  moisture  being  thrown  down 
from  them  by  the  mixture  with  cold  air;  but  when  the  warm 
and  moist  air  is  close  to  the  surface,  it  is  almost  certain  that,  as 
the  cold  air  flows  down  into  it,  a  deposition  of  water  will  take 
place. 


WEATHER-WISDOM.  319 

Poiet, — I  have  often  seen  sea-gulls  assemble  on  the  land,  and 
have  almost  always  observed  that  very  stormy  and  rainy  wea- 
ther was  approaching.  I  conclude  that  these  animals,  sensible 
of  a  current  of  air  approaching  from  the  ocean^  retire  to  the 
land  to  shelter  themselves  from  the  storm. 

Om, — No  such  thing.  .  The  storm  is  their  element,  and  the 
little  petrel  enjoys  the  heaviest  gale,  because,  living  on  the 
smaller  sea-insects,  he  is  sure  to  find  his  food  in  the  spray  of  a 
heavy  wave ;  and  you  may  see  him  flitting  above  the  edge  of  the 
highest  surge.  I  believe  that  the  reason  of  this  migration  of 
sea-gulls,  and  other  sea-birds,  to  the  land,  is  their  security  of 
finding  food ;  and  they  may  be  observed  at  this  time  feeding 
greedily  on  the  earth-worms  and  larvas  driven  out  of  the 
ground  by  severe  floods ;  and  the  fish,  on  which  they  prey  in 
fine  weather  in  the  sea,  leave  the  surface,  and  go  deeper,  in 
storms.  The  search  after  food,  as  we  have  agreed  on  a  former 
occasion,  is  the  principal  cause  why  animals  change  their  places. 
The  different  tribes  of  the  wading  birds  always  migrate  when 
rain  is  about  to  take  place ;  and  I  remember  once,  in  Italy, 
having  been  long  waiting,  in  the  end  of  March,  for  the  arrival 
of  the  double  snipe  in  the  Gampagna  of  Rome,  a  great  flight 
appeared  on  the  3d  of  April,  and  the  day  after  heavy  rain  set 
in,  which  greatly  interfered  with  my  sport.  The  vulture,  upon 
the  same  principle,  follows  armies ;  and  I  have  no  doubt  that 
the  augury  of  the  ancients  was  a  good  deal  founded  upon  the 
observation  of  the  instincts  of  birds.  There  are  many  super- 
stitions of  the  vulgar  owing  to  the  same  source.  For  anglers, 
in  spring,  it  is  always  unlucky  to  see  single  magpies ;  but  two 
may  be  always  regarded  as  a  favorable  omen ;  and  the  reason 
is,  that  in  cold  and  stormy  weather  one  magpie  alone  leaves  the 
nest  in  search  of  food,  the  other  remaining  sitting  upon  the 
eggs  or  the  young  ones ;  but  when  two  go  out  together  it  is 
only  when  the  weather  is  warm  and  mild,  and  favDrable  for 
fishing. 

Poiet. — The  singular  connections  of  causes  and  effects  to 
which  you  have  just  referred,  make  superstition  less  to  be 


320  WEATHER-WISDOM. 

wondered  at,  particularly  amongst  the  vulgar ;  and  when  two 
facts,  naturally  unconnected,  have  been  accidentally  coincident, 
it  is  not  singular  that  this  coincidence  should  have  been  ob- 
iseryed  and  registered,  and  that  omens  of  the  most  absurd  kind 
should  be  trusted  in.  In  the  west  of  England,  half  a  century 
ago,  a  particular  hollow  noise  on  the  sea-coast  was  referred  to  a 
spirit  or  goblin  called  Bucoa,  and  was  supposed  to  foretell  a 
shipwreck  :  the  philosopher  knows  that  sound  travels  much 
faster  than  currents  in  the  air^  and  the  sound  always  foretold 
the  approach  of  a  very  heavy  storm,  which  seldom  takes  place 
on  that  wild  and  rooky  coast  without  a  shipwreck  on  some  part 
of  its  extensive  shores,  surrounded  by  the  Atlantic. 

SIGNS  or  THE   WEATHER. 

The  following  signs  of  rain  were  given  by  Dr.  Jenner,*  in 
1810,  to  a  lady,  in  reply  to  her  inquiry  whether  it  would  rain 
on  the  morrow : — 

The  hollow  winds  begin  to  blow, 
The  olonds  look  black,  the  glass  is  low  > 
The  soot  falls  down,  the  spaniels  sleep. 
And  spiders  from  their  cobwebs  creep ; 
Last  night  the  sun  went  pale  to  bed. 
The  moon  in  halos  hid  her  head ; 
The  boding  shepherd  heaves  a  sigh. 
For  see,  a  rainbow  spans  the  sky ; 
The  walls  are  damp,  the  ditches  smell. 
Closed  is  the  pink-eyed  pimpernel ; 
The  squalid  toads  at  dusk  were  seen 
Slowly  crawling  o'er  the  green ; 
Load  quack  the  ducks,  the  peacocks  cry. 
The  distant  hills  are  looking  nigh ; 
Hark,  how  the  chairs  and  tables  crack ! 
Old  Betty's  joints  are  on  the  rack ; 
And  see  yon  rooks,  how  odd  their  flight. 
They  imitate  the  gliding  kite. 
Or  seem  precipitate  to  fkll 
As  if  they  felt  the  piercing  ball ; 
How  restless  are  the  snorting  swine  1 
The  busy  flies  disturb  the  kine ; 


♦  Versified  by  Darwin. 


WEATHER- WISDC  M  321 

Low  o'er  the  grass  the  swallow  winces ; 
The  cricket  too,  how  loud  she  sings ! 
Puss  on  the  hearth,  with  velvet  paws. 
Sits  wiping  o'er  her  whiskered  jaws : — 
'Twill  surely  rain,  I  see,  with  sorrow : 
Our  jaunt  must  be  put  ofif  to-morrow. 

The  following  is  taken  from  The  Shepherd* s  Calendar ,  1683 : 

Signs  ofRainjfrom  Birds, — Soa  and  fresh- water  fowls,  such 
as  cormorants,  sea-gulls,  moor-hens,  &c.  flying  from  sea  or  the 
fresh  waters  to  land,  show  had  weather  at  hand ;  land  fowls 
flying  to  waters,  and  those  shaking,  washing,  and  noisy,  especi« 
ally  in  the  evening,  denote  the  same )  geese,  ducks,  coots,  &c. 
picking,  shaking,  washing,  and  noisy;  rooks  and  crows  in 
flocks  and  suddenly  disappearing;  pyes  and  jays  in  flocks  and 
very  noisy ;  the  raven  or  hooded-crow  crying  in  the  morning, 
with  an  interruption  in  its  notes,  or  crows  heing  very  clamor- 
ous at  evening;  the  heron,  hittern,  and  swallow  flying  low; 
hirds  forsaking  their  food  and  flying  to  their  nests;  poultry 
going  to  rest  or  pigeons  to  their  dove-house ;  tame  fowls  grub- 
bing in  the  dust  and  clapping  their  wings;  small  birds  seem- 
ing to  duck  and  wash  in  the  sand ;  the  late  and  early  crowing 
of  the  cock,  and  clapping  his  wings ;  the  early  singing  of  wood- 
larks;  the  early  chirping  of  sparrows;  the  early  note  of  the 
chaffinch  near  houses ;  the  dull  appearance  of  robin-redbreast 
near  houses ;  peacocks  and  owls  unusually  clamorous. 

Of  Windy  from  Birds. — Sea  and  fresh-water  fowls  gathering 
in  flocks  to  the  banks,  and  there  sporting,  especially  in  the 
morning ;  wild  geese  flying  high  and  in  flocks,  and  directing 
their  course  eastward ;  coots  restless  and  clamorous ;  the  hoo- 
poe loud  in  his  note ;  the  king's  fisher  taking  to  land ;  rooks 
darting  or  shooting  in  the  air,  or  sporting  on  the  banks  of  fresh 
waters ;  and  lastly,  the  appearance  of  the  malefigie  at  sea,  is  a 
certain  forerunner  of  violent  winds,  and  (early  in  the  morning) 
denotes  horrible  tempests  at  hand. 

Of  Fair  Weather^  from  Birds. — Halcyons,  sea-ducks,  &c. 
leaving  the  land,  and  flocking  to  the  sea;  kites,  herons,  bitterns, 
and  swallows  flying  high,  and  loud  in  their  notes ;  lapwingp 


322  WEATHER-WISDOM. 

restless  and  clamorous;  sparrows  after  sunrise  restless  and 
noisy ;  ravens,  hawks,  and  kestrils  (in  the  morning)  loud  in 
their  notes;  robin-redbreast  mounted  high,  and  loud  in  his 
song;  larks  soaring  high,  and  loud  in  their  songs;  owls  hoot- 
ing with  an  easy  and  clear  note;  bats  appearing  early  in  the 
evening. 

Of  Rain^from  Beasts. — Asses  braying  more  frequently  than 
usual;  hogs  playing,  scattering  their  food,  or  carrying  straw  in 
their  mouths;  oxen  snuffing  the  air,  looking  to  the  south, 
while  lying  on  their  right  sides,  or  licking  their  hoofs;  cattle 
gasping  for  air  at  noon ;  calves  running  violently  and  gambol- 
ing ;  deer,  sheep,  or  goats  leaping,  fighting,  or  pushing ;  cats 
washing  their  face  and  ears;  dogs  eagerly  scraping  up  earth; 
foxes  barking;  rats  and  mice  more  restless  than  usual;  a 
grumbling  noise  in  the  belly  of  hounds. 

Of  Raiuyfrom  Insects. — Worms  crawling  out  of  the  earth  in 
great  abundance;  spiders  falling  from  their  webs;  flies  dull 
and  restless;  ants  hastening  to  their  nests;  bees  hastening 
home,  and  keeping  close  in  their  hives ;  frogs  drawing  nigh  to 
houses,  and  croaking  from  ditches;  gnats  singing  more  than 
usual;  but  if  gnats  play  in  the  open  air,  or  if  hornets,  wasps, 
and  glow-worms  appear  plentifully  in  the  evening,  or  if  spiders' 
webs  are  seen  in  the  air  or  on  the  grass,  these  do  all  denote 
fair  and  warm  weather  at  hand. 

Of  Rain y  from  the  Sun, — Sun  rising  dim  or  waterish  ; 
rising  red  with  blackish  beams  mixed  along  with  his  rays; 
rising  in  a  musty  or  muddy  color;  rising  red  and  turning 
blackish ;  setting  under  a  thick  cloud ;  setting  with  a  red  sky 
in  the  east. 

Sudden  rains  never  last  long ;  but  when  the  air  grows  thick 
by  degrees,  and  the  sun,  moon,  and  stars  shine  dimmer  and 
dimmer,  then  it  is  like  to  rain  six  hours  usually. 

Of  Wind,  from  the  Sun, — Sun  rising  pale  and  setting  red, 
with  an  iris ;  rising  large  in  surface ;  rising  with  a  red  sky  in 
the  north  ;  setting  of  a  blood  color;  setting  pale,  with  one  or 
more  dark  circles,  or  accompanied  with  red  streaks,  seeming 


WEATHEE- WISDOM  323 

eo^cave  or  hollow;  seeming  divided,  great  storms;  parhelia,  or 
muck  suns,  never  appear  but  are  followed  by  tempest. 

Of  Fair  Weather,  from  the  Sun, — Sun  rising  clear,  having 
set  clear  the  night  before ;  rising  while  the  clouds  about  him 
are  driving  to  the  west ;  rising  with  an  iris  around  him,  and 
that  iris  wearing  away  equally  on  all  sides,  then  expect  fair  and 
settled  weather;  rising  clear  and  not  hot;  setting  in  red  clouds, 
according  to  the  old  observation, — 

The  evening  red  and  morning  gray, 
Is  the  sure  sign  of  a  fair  day. 

To  the  above  may  be  added  the  following  from  a  more  recent 
source : — 

As  a  rule,  a  circle  around  the  moon  indicates  rain  and  wind. 
When  seen  with  a  north  or  northeast  wind,  we  may  look  for 
stormy  weather,  especially  if  the  circle  be  large ;  with  the  wind 
in  any  other  quarter,  we  may  expect  rain ;  so  also  when  the 
ring  is  small  and  the  moon  seems  covered  with  mist.  If,  how- 
ever, the  moon  rise  after  sunset,  and  a  circle  be  soon  after 
formed  around  it,  no  rain  is  foreboded.  In  the  Netherlands 
they  have  this  proverb : — 

Een  kring  om  de  maan  (A  ring  round  the  moon 

Die  kan  vcrgaan ;  May  pass  away  soon  ; 

Maar  oen  kring  om  de  ion  Bat  a  ring  rouDd  the  sun 

Qeeft  water  in  de  ton.  Qires  water  Sn  the  tun.) 

An  old  astrologer,  referring  to  St.  Paul's  day,  Jan.  25,  flays : — 

If  St  Paul  be  fair  and  clear, 
It  promises  then  a  happy  year ; 
But  if  it  chance  to  snow  or  rain, 
Then  will  be  dear  all  sorts  of  grain ; 
Or  if  the  wind  do  blow  aloft, 
Great  stirs  will  vex  the  world  ftill  oft ; 
And  if  dark  clouds  do  muff  the  sky. 
Then  fowl  and  cattle  oft  will  die. 

Another,  alluding  to  the  Ember-day  in  December,  says : — 

When  Ember-day  is  cold  and  clear 
There  '11  be  two  winters  in  that  year. 

The  following  is  from  a  manuscript  in  the  British  Museum  :— 


324  WEATHER-WISDOM. 

If  ChriBtmM  day  on  Thursday  be, 
A  windy  winter  yon  shall  see ; 
Windy  weather  in  each  week, 
And  hard  tempests,  strong  and  thick; 
The  summer  shall  be  good  and  dry, 
Com  and  beasts  shall  multiply ; 
That  year  is  good  for  lands  to  till ; 
Kings  and  princes  shall  die  by  skill ; 
If  a  child  bom  that  day  shall  be, 
It  shall  hfCppen  right  well  for  thee : 
Of  deeds  he  shall  be  good  and  stable. 
Wise  of  speech,  and  reasonable. 
Whoso  that  day  goes  thieving  about, 
He  shall  be  punished,  without  doubt; 
And  if  sickness  that  day  betide. 
It  shall  quickly  from  thee  glide. 

UNLUCKY  DAYS. 

The  following  list  of  the  ''evil  days  in  eaoh  month''  is 
translated  from  the  original  Latin  verses  in  the  old  Saturn 
Missal : — 

Jamiary,     Of  this  first  month,  the  opening  day 

And  serenth  like  a  sword  will  slay. 
Fdrruary,    The  fourth  day  bringeth  down  to  death ; 

The  third  will  stop  a  strong  man's  breath. 
MfareJL        The  first  the  greedy  glutton  slays; 

The  fourth  cuts  short  the  dmnkard's  days. 
ApriL         The  tenth  and  the  eleventh,  too. 

Are  ready  death's  fell  work  to  do. 
Jf<qr«  The  third  to  slay  poor  man  hath  power; 

The  seventh  destroyeth  in  an  hour. 
•Time.  The  tenth  a  pallid  visage  shows; 

No  faith  nor  troth  the  fifteenth  knows. 
Jidy.  The  thirteenth  is  a  fatal  day; 

The  tenth  alike  will  mortals  slay. 
AugvtL       The  first  kills  strong  ones  at  a  blow ; 

The  second  lays  a  cohort  low. 
September,  The  third  day  of  the  month  September, 

And  tenth,  bring  evil  to  each  member. 
Osfo&sr.      The  third  and  tenth,  with  poisoned  breath, 

To  man  are  foes  as  foul  as  death. 
Jfooember,  The  fifth  bears  scorpion-sting  of  deadly  pain  | 

The  third  is  tinctured  with  destroction's  train. 
Deoemher.    The  seventh's  a  fatal  day  to  human  life ; 

The  tenth  is  with  a  serpent's  venom  rifo. 


O.  B.  AND  N.  S.  325 


THE  GREGORIAN  CALENDAR. 

The  Julian  calendar  was  framed  about  46  years  before  Christ. 
Csesar  made  the  year  consist  of  365  days;  and  the  annual 
excess  of  six  hours,  which  amounted  to  one  day  in  foar  years, 
was  taken  into  account  by  making  every  fourth  year  (leap- 
year)  consist  of  366  days.  But  Caesar's  correction  of  the 
calendar  was  imperfect^  being  founded  on  the  supposition  that 
the  solar  year  consisted  of  365  days,  6  hours,  whereas  the  true 
solar  year  consists  of  365  days,  5  hours,  48  minutes,  45i  seconds. 
Thus  the  Julian  year  exceeded  the  solar  11  minutes  14} 
seconds, — ^which  amounted  to  a  whole  day  in  130  years.  In 
consequence  of  this  inaccuracy,  the  vernal  equinox,  which 
happened  on  the  25th  of  March  in  the  time  of  Julius  Caesar, 
had  receded  to  the  21st  of  March  in  the  year  325,  and  was 
fixed  to  that  day  by  the  Council  of  Nice.  Attempts  were 
afterwards  made  to  effect  some  change  in  the  calendar ;  but  a 
complete  reformation  was  not  made  until  1582.  Pope  Gregory 
XIU.  invited  to  Rome  the  most  learned  astronomers  of  the 
age;  and,  afler  the  subject  had  been  discussed  ten  years,  it  was 
decreed  that  the  vernal  equinox,  which  had  receded  ten  days 
since  the  Council  of  Nice,  and  consequently  happened  on  the 
11th  of  March,  should  be  brought  back  to  the  21st  of  March, 
and  that  for  this  purpose  ten  days  should  be  taken  from  the 
month  of  October,  1582.  To  avoid  future  deviation,  it  was 
determined  that  instead  of  every  100th  year  being  leap-year, 
every  400th  year  only  should  be  leap-year.  By  this  plan — ^a 
diminution  of  three  days  in  400  years — ^the  error  in  the  present 
calendar  will  not  exceed  a  day  and  a  half  in  five  thousand  years. 

The  calendar  thus  reformed  by  Pope  Gregory  was  imme- 
diately introduced  into  Catholic  countries,  but  was  not  finally 

28 


326 


O.  8.    AND    N.  6. 


adopted  in  Great  Britain  until  1752,  when,  by  act  of  Parlia- 
ment,  eleven  days  were  struck  out  of  the  calendar,  the  3d  of 
September  being  reckoned  the  14th.  The  Greek  Church  still 
obstinately  adheres  to  the  old  style. 

RESULTS   OP  THE   CHANGE   IN   THE   STYLE. 

The  following  happily-conceived  address  to  the  patronp  of 
"  Poor  Job's  Almanac"  was  occasioned  by  the  change  of  the 
style  in  1752.     The  number  of  that  year  bears  the  title — 

Poor  Joby  1752.  By  Job  Shepherd,  philom.  Newport. 
Printed  by  James  Franklin*  at  the  Printing-office  under  the 
Town  School-house,  In  this  almanac  the  month  of  September 
has,  in  the  margin,  the  figures  of  the  successive  days,  com- 
mencing 1,  2;  and,  after  leaving  blank  a  space  for  eleven 
days,  recommencing  with  14,  and  continuing  to  the  30th. 

Kind  Reader  : — You  have  now  such  a  year  as  you  never 
saw  before,  nor  will  see  hereafter,  the  King  and  Parliament 
of  Great  Britain  having  thought  proper  to  enact  that  the 
month  of  September,  1752,  shall  contain  but  nineteen  days, 
which  will  shorten  this  year  eleven  days,  and  have  extended 
the  same  throughout  the  British  dominions ;  so  that  we  are  not 
to  have  two  beginnings  to  our  years,  but  the  first  of  January  is 
to  be  the  first  day  and  the  first  month  of  the  year  1752 ;  eleven 
days  are  taken  from  September,  and  begin  1,  2, 14, 15,  &c.  Be 
not  astonilBhed,  nor  look  with  concern,  dear  reader,  at  such  a 
deduction  of  days,  nor  regret  as  for  the  loss  of  so  much  time ; 
but  take  this  for  your  consolation,  that  your  expenses  will  per- 
haps appear  lighter,  and  your  mind  be  more  at  ease.  And 
what  an  indulgence  is  here  for  those  who  love  their  pillows,  to 
lie  down  in  peace  on  the  second  of  this  month,  and  not  perhaps 
awake  or  be  disturbed  till  the  fourteenth,  in  the  morning  ! 
And,  reader,  this  is  not  to  hasten  the  payment  of  debts,  free- 
dom of  apprentices  or  servants,  or  the  coming  to  age  of  minors; 
but  the  number  of  natural  days  in  all  agreements  are  to  be  ful« 

•  Brother  of  Dr.  Franklin. 


MEMORIA   TECHNICA.  327 

filled.  All  Churcli  holidays  and  Courts  are  to  be  on  the  same 
nominal  days  they  were  before ;  but  fairs,  after  the  second  of 
September,  alter  the  nominal  days,  and  so  seemed  to  be  held 
eleven  days  later.  Now,  reader,  since  His  likely  you  may  never 
have  such  another  year  nor  such  another  almanac,  I  would  ad- 
vise you  to  improve  the  one  for  your  own  sake,  and  I  recom- 
mend the  other  for  the  sake  of  your  friend,  Poor  Job. 


Jttemoria  Cert)nica. 

NAMES  AND   ORDER   OF  THE  BOOKS  OF  THE  OLD  TESTAMENT. 

Tbb  Great  Jehovah  speaks  to  ub 

In  Genesis  and  Exodus  ; 

Leviticus  and  Numbers  see 

Followed  by  Deuteronomy. 

Joshua  and  Judges  sway  the  land, 

Ruth  gleans  a  sheaf  with  trembling  hand ; 

Samuel  and  numerous  Kings  appear 

Whose  Chronicles  we  wondering  hear. 

£sra  and  Nehemiah,  now, 

Esther  the  beauteous  mourner  show. 

Job  speaks  in  sighs,  David  in  Psalms, 

The  Proverbs  teach  to  scatter  alms ; 

Ecclesiastes  then  comes  on, 

And  the  sweet  Song  of  Solomon. 

Isaiah,  Jeremiah  then 

With  Lamentations  takes  his  pen, 

Bzekiel,  Daniel,  Hoaea's  lyres 

Swell  Joel,  Ainos,  Obadiah's. 

Next  Jonas,  Micah,  Nahum  come, 

And  lofty  Habakkuk  finds  room — 

While  Zephaniah,  Haggai  calls, 

Wrapt  Zachariah  builds  his  walls ; 

And  Malachi,  with  garments  rent. 

Concludes  the  ancient  Testament 

NAMES  AND  ORDER  OF  THE  BOOKS  OF  THE   NEW  TESTAMENT. 
Matthew,  Mark,  Luke,  and  John,  wrote  the  life  of  their  Lord; 
The  Acts,  what  Apostles  accomplished,  record; 
Rome,  Corinth,  Galatus,  Ephesus,  hear 
What  Philippians,  Colossians,  Thessalonians  revere : 


328  MEMOaiA  T£CHNICA. 

TimotheuB,  Titus,  Philemon,  precede 
The  Epistle  which  Hebrews  most  gratefnllj  read ; 
James,  Peter,  and  John,  with  the  short  letter  Jude^ 
The  rounds  of  Divine  Revelation  conclude. 

NAMES   OF   SHAKSPEARE'S    PLAYS. 

Omitting  the  Historical  English  Dramcts,  "  quos  versu  dioere  non  mC* 

Cymboline,  Tempest,  Much  Ado,  Verona, 

Merry  Wives,  Twelfth  Night,  As  you  Like  it,  Errors, 

Shrew  Taming,  Night's  Dream,  Measure,  Andronicns, 

Timon  of  Athens. 
Winter's  Tale,  Merchant^  Troilus,  Lear,  Hamlet, 
Love's  Labor,  All's  Well,  Pericles,  Othello, 
Romeo,  Macbeth,  Cleopatra,  Csssar, 

Coriolanus. 

ENGLISH  SOVEREIGNS, 
^irst  William  the  Norman, 

Then  William  his  son ; 
Henry,  Stephen,  and  Henry, 

Then  Richard  and  John. 
Next  Henry  the  Third, 

Edwards  one,  two,  and  three ; 
And  again,  after  Richard, 

Three  Henrys  we  see. 
Two  Edwards,  third  Richard, 

If  rightly  I  guess ; 
Two  Henrys,  sixth  Edward, 

Queen  Mary,  Queen  Bess. 
Then  Jamie,  the  Scotchman, 

Then  Charles  whom  they  slew. 
Yet  received  after  Cromwell 

Another  Charles  too. 
Next  James  the  Second 

Ascended  the  throne; 
Then  good  WUliam  and  Mary 

Together  came  on. 
Till,  Anne,  Georges  four, 

And  fourth  William  all  past, 
God  sent  Queen  Victoria : 

May  she  long  be  the  last ! 

PRESIDENTS  OF  THE   UNITED  STATES. 
First  stands  the  lofty  Washisqton, 
That  nobly  great,  immortal  one ; 
The  elder  Adams  next  we  see. 
And  JiFPSRSon  comes  number  three ; 


MEMORIA   TECHNICA.  329 

The  fourth  \a  MadisoXi  you  know, 
The  fifth  one  on  the  list,  Monrob; 
The  sixth  an  Adams  comes  again, 
And  Jackson  seventh  in  the  train ; 
Van  BuRB.y  eighth  upon  the  line, 
And  Uakrison  counts  number  nine; 
The  tenth  is  Tylbr  in  his  turn, 
And  Polk  eleventh,  as  we  learn ; 
The  twelfth  is  Taylor  that  appears; 
The  thirteenth,  Fillmore  fills  his  years; 
Then  Pibrce  comes  fourteenth  into  view ; 
Buchanan  is  the  fifteenth  due ; 
The  sixteenth  Lincoln,  foully  slain ; 
The  seventeenth  was  Johnson's  reiffn; 
Then  Grant  was  by  the  people  sent 
To  be  their  eighteenth  President 


THE    DECALOGUE. 

1.  Have  thou  no  Gods  but  me;  2.  Nor  graven  type  adore; 

3.  Take  not  my  name  in  vain ;  'twere  guilt  most  sore : 

4.  Hallow  the  seventh  day;  5.  Thy  parents'  honor  love: 
6.  No  murder  do ;  7.  Nor  thou  adulterer  prove : 

8.  From  theft  be  pure  thy  hands;  9.  No  witness  false,  thy  word: 
10.  Covet  of  none  his  house,  wife,  maid,  or  herd. 


Worship  to  God — ^but  not  God  graven — pay; 

Blaspheme  not;  sanctify  the  Sabbath  day; 
Be  honored  parents:  brother's  blood  unshed; 

And  unpolluted  hold  the  niarriacre  bed; 
From  theft  thy  hand — thy  tongue  from  lying — keep; 

Nor  oovet  neighbor's  home,  spouse,  serf,  ox,  sheep. 


Thou  no  God  shalt  have  but  me; 
Before  no  idol  bow  the  knee; 
Take  not  the  name  of  God  in  vain  ; 
Nor  dare  the  Sabbath  day  profane; 
Give  both  thy  parents  honor  due; 
Take  herd  that  thou  no  murder  do; 
Abstain  from  words  and  deeds  unclean ; 
Nor  steal,  though  thou  art  poor  and  mean ; 
Nor  make  a  willful  lie,  nor  love  it; 
What  is  thy  neighbor's,  do  not  covet 
28- 


330  MEMORIA   TECHNICA. 

METRICAL   GRAMMAR. 

Three  little  wurds  we  often  see 

Are  Articles,  a,  an,  and  t/ie. 

A  Noun's  tho  name  of  any  thing, 

As   school,  or  garden,  hoop,  or  sioing. 

Adjectives  tell  the  kind  of  Noun, 

As  great,  amall,  pretty,  white,  or  brown. 

Instead  of  Nouns  the  Pronouns  stand — 

Her  fan,  hie  face,  my  arm,  your  hand. 

Verbs  tell  of  something  being  done — 

To  read,  write,  count,  iing,jump,  or  rtm. 

How  things  are  done  the  Adverbs  tell, 

As  slowly,  (quickly,  ill,  or  well. 

Conjunctions  join  the  words  together, 

As  men  and  children,  wind  or  weather. 

The  Preposition  £>tand8  before 

A  Noun — as,  tw  or  through  a  door. 

The  Interjection  shows  surprise, 

As    Oh!  how  pretty.  Ah!  how  wise. 

The  whole  are  called  nine  parts  of  Speech, 

Which  Beading,    Writing,  Speaking,  teach. 

NUMBER  OF  DATS  IN  EACH  MONTH. 

One  of  the  most  useful  lessons  taught  us  in  early  life  by 
arithmetical  treatises,  is  that  of  Grafton's  well-known  lines  in 
his  Chronicles  of  England^  1590.  Sir  Walter  Scott,  in  con- 
versation with  a  friend,  adverted  jocularly  to  that  ancient  and 
respectable  but  unknown  poet,  who  had  given  us  this  for- 
mxila: — 

Thirty  days  hath  September, 
April,  June,  and  November; 
And  all  the  rest  have  thirty-one. 
Excepting  February  alone, 
Which  has  but  twenty-eight,  in  iSne, 
Till  Leap -Year  gives  it  twenty-nine. 

The  form  used  by  the  Quakers  runs  thus: — 

The  fourth,  eleventh,  ninth  and  sixth 
Have  thirty  days  to  each  affixed; 
Every  other,  thirty-one, 
Except  the  second  month  alone. 


ORIGIN  OF  THINGS   FAMILIAR.  331 

©rigin  of  Cf)in8J8  iPamiliar. 

MIND   YOUR  P*8  AND  Q*8. 

It  would  be  a  curious  thing,  if  they  could  be  traced  out,  to 
ascertain  the  origin  of  half  the  quaint  old  sayings  and  maxima 
that  have  come  down  to  the  present  time  from  unknown  gene- 
rations. Who,  for  example,  was  "  Dick,"  who  had  the  odd- 
looking  "  hat-band/'  and  who  has  so  long  been  the  synonym 
or  representative  of  oddly-acting  people?  Who  knows  any 
thing  authentic  of  the  leanness  of  ^' Job's  turkey,"  who  has 
so  many  followers  in  the  ranks  of  humanity?  Scores  of 
other  sayings  there  are^  concerning  which  similar  questions 
might  be  asked.  Who  ever  knew^  until  comparatively  late 
years,  what  was  the  origin  of  the  cautionary  saying,  '^  Mind 
your  P's  and  Q's"  ?  A  modern  antiquarian,  however,  has  put 
the  world  right  in  relation  to  that  saying.  In  ale-houses,  in  the 
olden  time,  when  chalk  <<  scores"  were  marked  upon  the  wall, 
or  behind  the  door  of  the  tap-room,  it  was  customary  to  put  the 
initials  "P"  and  "Q"  at  the  head  of  every  man's  account,  to 
show  the  number  of  "  pints"  and  "  quarts"  for  which  he  was 
in  arrears ;  and  we  may  presume  many  a  friendly  rustic  to  have 
tapped  his  neighbor  on  the  shoulder,  when  he  was  indulging 
too  freely  in  his  potations,  and  to  have  exclaimed,  as  he  pointed 
to  the  chalk-score,  <'  Mind  your  P's  and  Q's,  man !  mind  your 
Fs  and  Q's  I"  The  writer  from  whom  we  glean  this  informa- 
tion mentions  an  amusing  anecdote  in  connection  with  it, 
which  had  its  origin  in  London,  at  the  time  a  <<  Learned  Pig" 
was  attracting  the  attention  of  half  the  town.  A  theatrical 
wag,  who  attended  the  porcine  performances,  maliciously  set 
before  the  four-legged  actor  some  peas, — a  temptation  which  the 
animal  could  not  resist,  and  which  immediately  occasioned  him 
to  lose  the  ^^cue"  given  him  by  the  showman.  The  pig-exhib- 
itor remonstrated  with  the  author  of  the  mischief  on  the  unfair- 
ness of  what  he  had  done;  to  which  he  replied,  ''I  only 
wanted  to  ascertain  whether  the  pig  knew  his  ^  peas'  from  hif 
'cuesT" 


332  ORIGIN   OF   THINGS   FAMILIAH. 

DAY. 

April  the  First  stands  marked  by  custom's  rules, 
A  day  of  being,  and  of  making,  fools. 

The  First  of  April,  as  is  well  known,  is  distinguished  in  the 
calendar  by  the  singular  appellation  of  "  All  Fools*  Day'*  It 
would  be  a  curious  exception  to  common  experience,  if,  on  the 
recurrence  of  this  memorable  epoch  in  the  division  of  time, 
multitudes  were  not  betrayed  into  a  due  observance  of  its 
peculiarities.  Many  grave  and  unsuspecting  people  have 
been  sent  upon  the  most  frivolous  and  nonsensical  errands. 
Many  a  passer-by  has  been  told  that  there  was  something 
out  of  his  pocket,  which  was  his  hand ;  or  something  on  his 
facC;  which  was  his  nose.  Many  a  school-boy  has  been  sent  to 
the  shoemaker's  for  stirrup-oil,  which  he  would  get  from  a  strap, 
across  his  shoulders  \  or  to  ask  a  schoolmistress  for  the  biography 
of  Eve's  mother ;  or  to  an  old  bachelor  to  purchase  pigeon's 
milk.  Many  a  printer's  "devil"  has  been  sent  to  a  neighbor- 
ing editor  for  a  quart  of  editorial,  and  received  in  return  a  pic- 
ture of  a  jackass;  and  many  a  pretty  girl  despatched  to  the 
handsome  druggist  round  the  corner  for  the  essence  of  tulips 
(two-lips,)  which  she  would  sometimes  box  the  pharmaceutic  ears 
for  offering  to  give  her.  Some  would  be  summoned,  upon  the 
most  unfounded  pretexts,  out  of  their  warm  beds,  an  hour  or 
more  before  the  accustomed  time.  Others  were  enticed  to  open 
packages,  promising  ample  remuneration,  but  full  of  disappoint- 
ment; and  others  again,  as  they  passed  along  the  streets,  were 
captivated  by  the  sight  of  pieces  of  spurious  coin,  which,  when 
they  essayed  to  lift,  they  found  securely  fastened  to  the  pavement, 
— ^together  with  various  other  whimsicalities,  which  under  other 
circumstances  would  have  been  deemed  highly  offensive,  buty 
happening  on  the  First  of  April,  were  considered,  if  not  agree- 
able, at  least  comparatively  harmless.  The  origin  of  this 
strange  custom  is  shrouded  in  mystery.  It  has  been  traced  by 
some  to  the  scene  in  the  life  of  Jesus  when  he  was  sent  from 
Pilate  to  Herod,  and  back  from  Herod  to  Pilate,  which  occurred 
about  this  period. 


OBIOIN   OF  THINGS   FAMILIAR.  333 

Brady's  Clavis  Calenddria,  published  in  1812,  mentions 
that  more  than  a  centurj  previous  the  ahnanacs  desigbuted  the 
First  of  April  as  "  All  Fools'  Day."  In  the  northern  counties 
of  England  and  Scotland,  the  jokes  on  that  day  were  practised 
to  a  great  extent,  and  it  scarcely  required  an  apology  to  experi- 
ment upon  the  gravest  and  most  respectable  of  city  or  country 
gentlemen  and  women.  The  person  whose  good  nature  or  sim- 
plicity put  him  momentarily  in  the  power  of  his  facetious  neigh- 
bor was  called  a  ^^gowk" — ^and  the  sending  upon  ridiculous 
errands,  ^^  hunting  the  goick.**  The  term  ^^ gowk'*  was  a  com- 
mon expression  for  a  cuckoo,  which  was  reckoned  among  the 
silliest  and  simplest  of  all  the  feathered  tribes. 

In  France,  the  person  made  the  butt  upon  these  occasions 
was  styled  "  un  poiason  d'Avril*' — that  is,  an  April  fish — by 
implication,  an  April  fool — ^^ poisson  cVAvril,"  the  familiar 
name  of  the  mackerel,  a  fish  easily  caught  by  deception,  singly 
and  in  shoals,  at  this  season  of  the  year.  The  term  ^^  April 
fool"  was  therefore,  probably,  nothing  more  than  an  easy  substi- 
tution of  that  opprobrious  epithet  for  fish,  and  it  is  quite  likely 
that  our  ancestors  borrowed  the  custom  from  France^  with  this 
change  in  the  phrase  peculiar  to  the  occasion.  It  is  possible, 
however,  that  it  may  have  been  derived  from  poison,  mischief. 
Among  the  French,  ridicule  is  the  most  successful  weapon  for 
correcting  folly  and  holding  vice  in  terrorem.  A  Frenchman 
is  more  afraid  of  a  successful  bon  mot  at  his  expense  than  of  a 
sword,  and  the  First  of  April  is  a  day,  therefore,  of  which  ho 
can  make  a  double  application :  he  may  gratify  his  love  of 
pleasantry  among  his  friends,  or  inflict  a  severe  wound  on  his 
enemies^  if  he  possess  the  art  and  wit  to  invent  and  perpetrate 
a  worthy  piece  of  foolery  upon  them.  One  of  the  best  tricks 
that  ever  occurred  in  France  was  that  of  Kabelais,  who  fooled 
the  officers  of  justice,  when  he  had  no  money,  into  conveying 
him  from  Marseilles  to  Paris  on  a  charge  of  treason  got  up  for 
the  purpose,  and,  when  arrived  there,  showing  them  how  they 
were  hoaxed.  For  this  purpose  he  made  up  some  brick-dust 
and  ashes  in  different  packets,  labelled  as  poisons  for  the  royal 


334  ORIGIN   OF   THINGS   FAMILIAR. 

family  of  France.  The  bait  took,  and  he  was  conveyed  to  the 
cnpital  as  a  traitor,  seven  hundred  miles,  only  to  explain  the 
joke. 

There  is  a  very  common  practical  joke  on  fools'  day  in  the 
British  metropolis :  it  consists  in  despatching  a  letter  by  an 
unlucky  dupe,  who  is  to  wait  for  an  answer.  The  answer  is  a 
second  note,  to  a  third  person,  'Ho  send  the  fool  farther."  A 
young  surgeon,  a  greenhorn  in  practice,  fresh  from  St.  Bar- 
tholomew's, his  instruments  unfleshed  on  his  own  account,  and 
his  surgery  bottles  full  to  repletion,  was  called  a  few  years  ago 
from  the  Strand  to  a  patient  in  Newgate  Street,  very  rich, 
named  Dobbs.  It  was  the  First  of  April,  and  it  was  his  first 
patient.  The  young  Esculupius  was  ushered  into  the  presence 
of  the  supposed  patient,  who  was  busy  writing  in  his  counting- 
house.  The  surgeon  explained  his  errand,  and  Mr.  Dobbs, 
having  an  excellent  mercantile  discernment,  soon  saw  through 
the  affair.  He  bowed  and  said,  '^  It  is  a  mistake,  sir :  my  name 
is  Dobbs,  but  I  am,  thank  God,  hale  and  hearty.  It  is  my 
brother,  the  sugar-baker,  on  Fish  Street  Hill,  that  has  sent  for 
you,  [carriage  or  horse  he  had  none,]  three-fourths  of  a  mile 
farther.'*  He  entered  among  the  pyramids  of  snowy  sweets,  and 
found  Mr.  Dobbs,  the  sugar-baker,  of  Fish  Street  Hill,  as  hale 
as  his  brother  of  Newgate  Street.  The  refiner  of  saccharine 
juice  understood  his  brother's  note,  stammered  out  a  pretended 
apology  for  the  mistakB,  and  said  he  supposed,  as  the  young 
man's  directions  were  to  Mr.  J.  Dobbs,  and  not  Mr.  Jefiry 
Dobbs,  that  was  intended ;  that  his  name  was  Jeffry,  but  his 
brother  John,  a  third  member  of  the  family,  and  in  his  busi- 
ness, lived  at  Limehouse,  whither  he  thought,  if  our  surgeon 
proceeded,  he  would  find  the  person  he  sought.  An  address 
was  handed  the  young  tourniquet  at  the  extreme  end  of  Lime- 
house,  which  address,  it  is  needless  to  say,  was  false.  What 
will  not  a  surgeon  do  to  obtain  his  first  patient,  and  a  rich  one 
too?  Away  he  posted  to  Limehouse,  and  soon  found  how  far 
he  had  travelled  for  nothing.  Tired  and  disappointed,  and 
scheming  vengeance  on  the  authors  of  the  hoax,  he  set  off  on 


ORIGIN   or  THINGS   FAMILIAR.  335 

his  retarn  home,  cursing  the  Dobbs  family  every  step  he  went. 
As  he  passed  along  Upper  Shadwell,  he  saw  a  horse  gallop  furi- 
ously down  Chamomile  Street  and  fling  its  rider  a  heavy  fall 
on  the  pavement.  He  ran  and  lifted  the  fallen  man,  whom  he 
found  insensible.  He  conveyed  him  to  a  shop  hard  by,  bled 
him,  and  had  the  satisfaction  of  seeiug  him  open  his  eyes.  Suf- 
fice it  to  say  that,  on  being  conveyed  home,  our  young  sur- 
geon attended  him  until  he  was  restored  to  health ;  and  so 
gratefully  were  his  exertions  received  by  the  stranger,  who  was  a 
rich  East  India  merchant,  far  advanced  in  life,  that  he  took 
him  into  his  house  as  a  medical  attendant  and  friend,  and  ulti- 
mately left  him  the  bulk  of  his  property.  Thus,  out  of  an  in- 
tended Fools'  Day  hoax,  by  the  inscrutable  caprice  of  fortune,  a 
frolic  led  its  dupe  to  wealth.  This  anecdote,  according  to  the 
London  Athenasum,  may  be  depended  on  as  true,  nothing  in 
the  story  but  the  name  adopted,  to  conceal  the  real  actors  in 
the  drama,  being  fictitious. 

A  day  of  fooleries,  the  Huli  Festy  is  observed,  also,  among 
the  Hindoos,  attended  with  the  like  silly  species  of  witticism. 

By  many  it  is  believed  that  the  term  "  aW  is  a  corruption 
of  auld  or  old,  thereby  making  it  originally  "  Old  Fools'  Day," 
in  confirmation  of  which  opinion  the  following  observation  is 
quoted  from  an  ancient  Roman  calendar  respecting  the  1st  of 
November  : — "  The  feast  of  old  fools  is  removed  to  this  day." 
The  oldest  almanacs  extant,  however,  have  it  all  (and  not  old) 
fools'  day.  Besides  the  Roman  '<  Saturnalia"  and  the  Druid- 
ioal  rites,  superstitions  which  the  early  Christians  found  in 
existence  when  they  commenced  their  labors  in  England,  was 
the  Festum  Fatuorumy  or  Fools*  Holiday y  which  was  doubtless 
our  present  First  of  April.  In  some  of  the  German  classics 
frequent  mention  is  made  of  the  Apnlen  NarVy  so  that  even 
the  Germans  of  the  olden  time  understood  how  to  practise  theii 
cunning  April  arts  upon  their  neighbors  quite  as  well  as  we  of 
the  present  day. 

Enough  has  been  here  quoted  to  prove  that  the  custom  is  of 
very  ancient  existence ;  but  the  precise  origin  thereof  remains 


336  ORIGIN   OP  THINGS  FAMILIAR. 

undiscovered,  and  will  have  to  be  dag  from  some  of  the  musty 
chronicles  of  gray  antiquity.  But,  be  the  origin  of  the  custom 
what  it  may,  we  cannot  avoid  the  conclusion  that  it  is  one 
'<  more  honored  in  the  breach  than  in  the  observance/' 

CARDS. 

About  the  year  1390,  cards  were  invented  to  divert  Charles 
IV.,  then  King  of  France,  who  was  fallen  into  a  melancholy 
disposition.  That  they  were  not  in  use  before  appears  highly 
probable.  1st,  Because  no  cards  are  to  be  seen  in  any  paint- 
ings, sculpture,  tapestry,  &c.  more  ancient  than  the  preceding 
period,  but  are  represented  in  many  works  of  ingenuity  since 
that  age.  2dly,  No  prohibitions  relative  to  cards,  by  the  king's 
edicts,  are  mentioned ;  although  some  few  years  before,  a  most 
severe  one  was  published,  forbidding  by  name  all  manner  of 
sports  and  pastimes,  in  order  that  the  subjects  might  exercise 
themselves  in  shooting  with  bows  and  arrows  and  be  in  a  con- 
dition to  oppose  the  English.  Now,  it  is  not  to  be  presumed 
that  so  luring  a  game  as  cards  would  have  been  omitted  in  the 
enumeration  had  they  been  in  use.  3dly,  In  all  the  ecclesi- 
astical canons  prior  to  the  same  time,  there  occurs  no  mention 
of  cards ;  althQUgh,  twenty  years  after  that  date,  card -playing 
was  interdicted  the  clergy  by  a  G-allican  Synod.  About  the 
same  time  is  found  in  the  account-book  of  the  king's  cofferer 
the  following  charge : — "  Paid  for  a  pack  of  painted  leaves 
bought  for  the  king's  amusement,  three  livres."  Printing  and 
stamping  being  not  then  discovered,  the  cards  were  painted, 
which  made  them  dear.  Thence,  in  the  above  synodical  canons, 
they  are  called  pagillsR  pictse,  painted  little  leaves.  4th]y, 
About  thirty  years  after  this  came  a  severe  edict  against  cards 
in  France,  and  another  by  Emanuel,  Duke  of  Savoy,  only 
permitting  the  ladies  this  pastime,  jpro  spinilis,  for  pins  and 
needles. 

0/  their  designs. — ^The  inventor  proposed  by  the  figures  of 
the  four  suits,  or  colors,  as  the  French  call  them,  to  represent 
the  four  states  or  classes  of  men  in  the  kingdom.     By  the 


ORIGIN   OP  THINGS   FAMILIAR.  337 

Csesars  (hearts)  are  meant  the  Gens  de  Chceur,  ohoir-men,  or 
ecclesiastics;  and  therefore  the  Spaniards,  who  certainly  re- 
ceived the  use  of  cards  from  the  French,  have  copas  or  chalices 
instead  of  hearts.  The  nobility,  or  prime  military  part  of  the 
kingdom,  are  represented  by  the  ends  or  points  of  lances,  or 
pikes;  and  our  ignorance  of  the  meaning  or  resemblance  of  the 
figure  induced  us  to  call  them  spades.  The  Spaniards  have 
expadds  (swords)  in  lieu  of  pikes,  which  is  of  similar  import. 
By  diamonds  are  designated  the  order  of  citizens,  merchants, 
and  tradesmen,  carreav^,  (square  stone  tiles,  or  the  like.)  The 
Spaniards  have  a  coin  dineros,  which  answers  to  it ;  and  the 
Dutch  call  the  French  word  carreaux,  sHeneen,  stones  and  dia- 
monds, from  the  form.  Treste,  the  trefoil  leaf,  or  clover  grass, 
(corruptly  called  clubs,)  alludes  to  husbandmen  and  peasants. 
How  this  suit  came  to  be  called  clubs  is  not  explained,  unless, 
borrowing  the  game  from  the  Spaniards,  who  have  bastos  (staves 
or  clubs)  instead  of  the  trefoil,  we  gave  the  Spanish  significa- 
tion to  the  French  figure. 

The  "  history  of  the  four  kings,''  which  the  French  in  droll- 
ery sometimes  call  "  the  cards,"  is  that  of  Davidj  Alexander, 
Csesar,  and  Charles,  names  which  were,  and  still  are,  on  the 
French  cards.  These  respective  names  represent  the  four  cele- 
brated monarchies  of  the  Jews,  Greeks,  Romans,  and  Franks 
under  Charlemagne. 

By  the  queens  are  intended  Argine,  Esther,  Judith,  and 
Pallas,  (names  retained  in  the  French  cards,)  typical  of  birth, 
piety,  fortitude,  and  wisdom,  the  qualifications  residing  in  each 
person.  "Argine"  is  an  anagram  for  "Regina,"  queen  by 
descent 

By  the  knaves  were  designed  the  servants  to  knights,  (for 
knave  originally  meant  only  servant ;  and  in  an  old  translation 
of  the  Bible,  St.  Paul  is  called  the  knave  of  Christ,)  but  French 
pages  and  valets,  now  indiscriminately  used  by  various  orders 
of  persons,  were  formerly  only  allowed  to  persons  of  quality, 
esquires,  (escuiers,)  shield  or  armor  bearers.  Others  fancy 
that  the  knights  themselves  were  designed  by  those  cards,  be- 
W  29 


338  OKIGIN  OP  THINGS   FAMILIAR. 

cause  Hogier  and  Lahire,  two  names  on  the  French  cards, 
were  famous  knights  at  the  time  cards  were  supposed  to  bo 
invented. 

SUB  ROSA. 

But  when  we  with  caution  a  secret  disclose, 

We  cry,  "  Be  it  spoken,  sir,  under  the  rose." 

Since  'tis  known  that  the  rose  was  an  emblem  of  old, 

Whose  leaves  by  their  closeness  taught  secrets  to  hold; 

And  'twos  thence  it  was  painted  on  tables  so  ofl 

As  a  warning,  lest,  when  with  a  frankness  men  scofl 

At  their  neighbor,  their  lord,  their  fat  priest,  or  their  nation. 

Some  among  'em  next  day  should  betray  conversation. 

Britiih  Apollo,  1708. 

The  origin  of  the  phrase  under  the  rose  implies  secrecy,  and 
had  its  origin  during  the  year  B.o.  477,  at  which  time  Pausa- 
nias,  the  commander  of  the  confederate  fleet  of  the  Spartans 
and  Athenians,  was  engaged  in  an  intrigue  with  Xerxes  for  the 
subjugation  of  Greece  to  the  Persian  rule,  and  for  the  hand  of 
the  monarch's  daughter  in  marriage.  Their  negotiations  were 
carried  on  in  a  building  attached  to  the  temple  of  Minerva, 
called  the  Brazen  House,  the  roof  of  which  was  a  garden  form- 
ing a  bower  of  roses;  so  that  the  plot,  which  was  conducted 
with  the  utmost  secrecy,  was  literally  matured  under  the  rose 
Pausanias,  however,  was  betrayed  by  one  of  his  emissaries, 
who,  by  a  preconcerted  plan  with  the  ephori,  (the  overseers 
and  counsellors  of  state,  five  in  number,)  gave  them  a  secret 
opportunity  to  hear  from  the  lips  of  Pausanias  himself  the  ac- 
knowledgment of  his  treason.  To  escape  arrest,  he  fled  to  the 
temple  of  Minerva,  and,  as  the  sanctity  of  the  place  forbade  in- 
trusion for  violence  or  harm  of  any  kind,  the  people  walled  up 
the  edifice  with  stones  and  left  him  to  die  of  starvation.  His 
own  mother  laid  the  first  stone. 

It  afterward  became  a  custom  among  the  Athenians  to  wear 
roses  in  their  hair  whenever  they  wished  to  communicate  to 
another  a  secret  which  they  wished  to  be  kept  inviolate.  Hence 
the  saying  sub  rosa  among  them,  and,  since,  among  Christian 
nations. 


ORIGIN   OF  THINGS   FAMILIAB.  339 

OVER  THE   LEFT. 

The  earliest  trace  of  the  use  and  peculiar  siguificaucc  of  this 
phrase  may  be  found  in  the  Records  of  the  Hartford  County 
Courts,  in  the  (then)  Colony  of  Connecticut,  as  follows  : — 

At  a  County  Court  held  at  Hartford,  ) 
September  4,  1705.      j 

Whereas  James  Steel  did  commence  an  action  against  BevcU 
Waters  (both  of  Hartford)  in  this  Court,  upon  hearing  and 
tryall  whereof  the  Court  gave  judgment  against  the  said  Wa- 
ters, (as  in  justice  they  think  they  ought,)  upon  the  declaring 
the  said  judgment,  the  said  Waters  did  review  to  the  Court  in 
March  next,  that,  being  granted  and  entered,  the  said  Waters, 
as  he  departed  from  the  table,  he  said,  ^'  God  bless  you  over  the 
left  shoulder.** 

The  Court  order  a  record  to  be  made  thereof  forthwith. 

A  true  copie  :  Test. 

Caleb  Stanley,  Clerk. 

At  the  next  court.  Waters  was  tried  for  contempt,  for  saying 
the  words  recited,  "so  cursing  the  Court,"  and  on  verdict 
fined  £5.  He  asked  a  review  of  the  Court  following,  which 
was  granted ;  and  pending  trial,  the  Court  asked  counsel  of  the 
Rev.  Messrs.  Woodbridge  and  Buckingham,  the  ministers  of 
the  Hartford  churches,  as  to  the  "  common  acceptation"  of  the 
offensive  phrase.  Their  reply  constitutes  a  part  of  the  Record, 
and  is  as  follows  : — 

We  are  of  opinion  that  those  words,  said  on  the  other  side  to 
be  spoken  by  Bevell  Waters,  include  (1)  prophaneness,  by 
using  the  name  of  God,  that  is  holy,  with  such  ill  words  whereto 
it  was  joyned ;  (2)  that  they  carry  great  contempt  in  them, 
arising  to  the  degree  of  an  imprecation  or  curse,  the  words  of  a 
curse  being  the  most  contemptible  that  can  ordinarily  be  used. 

T.  Woodbridge. 

T.  Buckingham. 

Maroh  7th,  1705-6. 
The  former  judgment  was  affirmed  on  review. 


340  OmOIN   OF   THINGS   FAMILIAR. 

KICKINQ  THE  BUCKET. 
The  tradition  among  the  slang  fraternity  as  to  the  origin  of 
this  phrase  is  that  '^  One  Bolsoyer,  having  hung  himself  to  a 
beam  while  standing  on  the  bottom  of  a  pail,  or  bucket,  kicked 
the  vessel  away  in  order  to  pry  into  fxiturity,  and  it  was  all  up 
with  him  from  that  moment — Finis  /'* 

BUMPER. 

When  the  Roman  Catholic  religion  was  in  the  ascendant  in 
England,  the  health  of  the  Pope  was  usually  drunk  in  a  full 
glass  immediately  after  dinner — au  hon  ph'e :  hence  the  word 
"  Bumper." 

ROYAL   SAYING. 

rt  was  Alphonsus,  surnamed  the  Wise,  King  of  Aragon,  who 
used  to  say,  '^  That  among  so  many  things  as  are  by  men  pos- 
sessed or  pursued  in  the  course  of  their  lives,  all  the  rest  are 
baubles,  besides  old  wood  to  bum,  old  wine  to  drink,  old  friends 
to  converse  with,  and  old  books  to  read/' 

DUN. 

This  word,  generally  supposed  to  be  derived  from  the  French 
donnezy  owes  its  origin,  according  to  the  British  Apollo  of  Sep- 
tember, 1708,  to  one  Joe  Dun,  a  famous  bailiff  of  Lincoln  in 
the  time  of  Henry  YII.  He  is  said  to  have  been  so  ex- 
tremely shrewd  in  the  management  of  his  rough  business,  and 
BO  dexterous  in  the  collection  of  dues,  that  his  name  became 
proverbial ;  and  whenever  a  man  refused  to  pay  his  debts,  it 
grew  into  a  prevalent  custom  to  say,  "  Why  don't  you  Dun 
him?" 

HUMBUG. 

Among  the  many  issues  of  base  coin  which  from  time  to  time 
were  made  in  Ireland,  there  was  none  to  be  compared  in  worth- 
lessness  to  that  made  by  James  II.  at  the  Dublin  Mint.  It  was 
composed  of  any  thing  on  which  he  could  lay  his  hands,  such  as 
lead,  pewter,  copper,  and  brass,  and  so  low  was  its  intrinsic 
value  that  twenty  shillings  of   it  was    only  worth   twopence 


ORIQIN   Oy  THINGS   FAMILIAR.  341 

fiterling.  William  III.,  a  few  days  after  the  battle  of  the  Bojne, 
ordered  that  the  crowD-piece  and  half-crow  a  should  be  taken 
as  one  penny  and  one  half-penny  respectively.  The  soft  mixed 
metal  of  which  that  worthless  coin  was  composed  was  known 
among  the  Irish  as  Uim  bog^  pronounced  Oom-bug,  i.e.  soft 
copper,  i.e.  worthless  money ;  and  in  the  course  of  their  deal- 
ings the  modem  use  of  the  word  humbug  took  its  rise,  as  in  the 
phrases,  "  That's  z, piece  ofuimbogj*  "Don't  think  iopass  off 
your  uimbog  on  me,"  Hence  the  word  humbug  came  to  be 
applied  to  any  thing  that  had  a  specious  appearance  but  which 
was  in  reality  spurious.  It  is  curious  to  note  that  the  very 
opposite  of  humbug,  i.e.  false  metal^  is  the  word  sterling,  which 
is  also  taken  from  a  term  applied  to  the  true  coinage  of  Great 
Britain,  as  sterling  coin,  sterling  worth,  &c. 

PASQUINADES. 

At  one  corner  of  the  Palazzo  Brasohi,  the  last  monument  of 
Papal  nepotism,  near  the  Piazza  Navona,  in  Rome,  stands  the 
famous  mutilated  torso  known  as  the  statue  of  Pasquin.  It  is 
the  remains  of  a  work  of  art  of  considerable  merit,  found  at  this 
spot,  in  the  sixteenth  century,  and  supposed  to  represent  Ajax 
supporting  Menelaus.  It  derives  its  modern  name  from  the 
tailor  Pasquin,  who  kept  a  shop  opposite,  which  was  the  ren- 
dezvous of  all  the  gossips  in  the  city,  and  from  which  theii 
satirical  witticisms  on  the  manners  and  follies  of  the  day  ob- 
tained a  ready  circulation. 

Misson  says  in  his  Travels  in  Italy, — The  tailor  had  precisely 
the  talent  to  head  a  regiment  of  satirical  wits,  and  had  he  had 
time  to  publish,  he  would  have  been  the  Peter  Pindar  of  his 
day;  but  his  genius  seems  to  have  been  satisfied  to  rest  cross- 
legged  on  his  shop-board.  When  any  lampoons  or  amusing 
ban-mots  were  current  in  Rome,  they  were  usually  called,  from 
his  shop,  Pasquinades.  After  his  death,  this  statue  of  an  an- 
cient gladiator  was  found  under  the  pavement  of  his  shop.  It 
was  soon  set  up,  and  by  universal  consent  was  inscribed  with 
his  name;  and  they  still  attempt  to  raise  him  from  the  dead, 

29* 


342  OBiaiN   OF  THINGS   FAMILIAR. 

and  keep  the  caustic  tailor  alive,  Id  the  marble  gladiator  of 
wit. 

The  statue  of  Marforio,  which  stood  near  the  arch  of  Septi- 
mus Severus,  in  the  Forum,  was  made  the  vehicle  for  replying 
to  the  attacks  of  Pasquin ;  and  for  many  years  they  kept  up  an 
incessant  fire  of  wit  and  repartee.  When  Marforio  was  removed 
to  the  museum  in  the  capitol,  the  Pope  wished  to  remove 
Pasquin  also ;  but  the  Duke  di  Braschi,  to  whom  he  belongs, 
would  not  permit  it.  Adrian  YI.  attempted  to  arrest  his  career 
by  ordering  the  statue  to  be  burnt  and  thrown  into  the  Tiber; 
but  one  of  the  Pope's  friends,  Ludovico  Sussano,  saved  him,  by 
suggesting  that  his  ashes  would  turn  into  frogs,  and  croak  more 
terribly  than  before.  It  is  said  that  his  owner  is  compelled  to 
pay  a  fine  whenever  he  is  found  guilty  of  exhibiting  any  scan- 
dalous placards.  The  modern  Romans  seem  to  regard  Pasquin 
as  part  of  their  social  system :  in  the  absence  of  a  free  press, 
he  has  become  in  some  measure  the  organ  of  public  opinion, 
and  there  is  scarcely  an  event  upon  which  he  does  not  pronounce 
judgment.  Some  of  his  sayings  are  extremely  broad  for  the 
atmosphere  of  Rome,  but  many  of  them  are  very  witty,  and 
fully  maintain  the  character  of  his  fellow-citizens  for  satirical 
epigrams  and  repartee.  When  Mezzofanti,  the  great  linguist, 
was  made  a  cardinal,  Pasquin  declared  that  it  was  a  very  pro- 
per appointment,  for  there  could  be  no  doubt  that  the  "  Tower 
of  Babel,"  "  11  torre  di  Bahel^'  required  an  interpreter.  At 
the  time  of  the  first  French  occupation  of  Italy,  Pasquin  gave 
out  the  following  satirical  dialogue  : — 

I  Frances!  son  tutti  ladri. 
Non  tutti — ma  Bonaparte. 

The  French  are  all  robbera. 
Not  all,  but  a  good  part ;  (or 
Not  all — ^but  Bonaparte.) 

Another  remarkable  saying  is  recorded  in  connection  with 
the  celebrated  bull  of  Urban  VIII.,  excommunicating  all  per- 
sons who  took  snuff  in  the  Cathedral  of  Seville.  On  the  pub- 
lication of  this  decree,  Pasquin  appropriately  quoted  the  beauti- 


ORIGIN   OP  THINGS   FAMILIAR.  343 

ful  passage  in  Job, — "Wilt  thou  break  a  leaf  driven  to  and  fro? 
and  wilt  tbon  pursue  tbe  dry  stubble  ?'' 

BOTTLED   ALE. 
The  hop  for  his  profit  I  thus  do  exalt; 
It  Btrengtheueth  drink  and  it  flavored  malt ; 
And  being  well  brewed,  long  kept  it  will  last^ 
And  drawing  abide,  if  ye  draw  not  too  fast 

Twer,  1557. 

Alexander  Newell,  Doaa  of  St.  Paul's  and  Master  of  West- 
minster School  in  tbe  reign  of  Queen  Mary,  was  an  excellent 
angler.  But,  (says  Fuller,)  while  Newell  was  catcbing  of  fisbes, 
Bishop  Bonner  was  catcbing  of  Newell,  and  would  certainly 
bave  sent  bim  to  tbe  shambles  bad  not  a  good  London  mer- 
chant conveyed  bim  away  upon  the  seas.  Newell  was  fisbing 
upon  tbe  banks  of  tbe  Thames  when  be  received  tbe  first  inti- 
mation of  bis  danger,  which  was  so  pressing  that  he  dared  not 
go  back  to  bis  own  bouse  to.  make  any  preparation  for  his 
flight.  Like  an  honest  angler,  he  had  taken  with  bim  provi- 
sion for  tbe  day,  and  when,  in  the  first  year  of  England's  deli- 
verance, be  returned  to  bis  country  and  his  old  haunts,  be  re- 
membered that  on  the  day  of  bis  flight  he  bad  left  a  bottle 
of  beer  in  a  safe  place  on  tbe  bank :  there  be  looked  for  it,  and 
''  found  it  no  bottle,  but  a  gun — such  tbe  sound  at  the  opening 
thereof;  and  this  (adds  Fuller,)  is  believed  (casualty  is  mo- 
ther of  more  invention  than  industry)  tbe  origin  of  Bottled 
Ale  in  England." 

THE   POTATO. 

Althougb  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  was  unexpectedly  prevented 
from  accompanying  Sir  Humphrey  Gilbert  to  Newfoundland, 
be  eventually  proved  one  of  the  greatest  benefactors  to  his  own 
country,  by  tbe  introduction  of  tbe  potato  on  bis  return  from 
America,  in  the  year  1584.  Tbis  root  was  first  planted  on  Sir 
Walter's  estate  at  Yougball,  which  be  afterward  sold  to  tbe 
Earl  of  Cork ;  but  not  having  given  sufficient  directions  to  the 
person  wbo  had  tbe  management  of  the  land,  tbe  latter  mistook 
tbe  flowers  for  the  fruit  and  most  valuable  part  of  tbe  plant, 


344  OKIQIN   OF   THINQS   FAMILIAR. 

and^  on  tasting  them^  rejected  them  as  a  pernicious  exotic. 
Some  time  afterwards,  turning  up  the  earth,  he  found  the  roots 
spread  to  a  great  distance,  and  in  considerable  quantities ;  and 
from  this  stock  the  whole  kingdom  was  soon  after  supplied  with 
this  yaluable  plant,  which  gradually  spread  throughout  Europe 
and  North  America.  Its  name,  potato,  in  Irish  paitey,  and  in 
French  patate,  is  said  to  be  derived  from  the  original  language 
of  Mexico,  of  which  it  is  supposed  to  be  a  native. 

Anspach's  History  of  Newfoundland. 

TARRING  AND   FEATHERING. 

Anquetil,  in  his  Histoire  de  Fravice,  1805,  has  the  following 
passage  in  reference  to  this  mode  of  chastisement  :— 

Thej  (the  two  crusading  kings,  Richard  Coeur  de  Lion  and 
Philip  Augustus)  afterwards  made  in  concert  the  laws  of  police 
which  should  be  observed  in  both  their  armies.  No  women, 
except  w&sherwomen,  were  to  be  permitted  to  accompany  the 
troops.  Whoever  killed  another  was,  according  to  the  place 
where  the  crime  should  be  committed,  to  be  cast  into  the  sea, 
or  buried  alive,  bound  to  the  corpse  of  the  murdered  person. 
Whoever  wounded  another  was  to  have  his  hand  cut  off;  who- 
ever struck  another  should  be  plunged  three  times  into  the 
sea;  and  whoever  committed  theft  should  have  warm  pitch 
poured  over  his  heady  which  should  then  be  powdered  with 
feathers,  and  the  offender  should  afterwards  be  left  aban* 
doned  on  the  first  shore. 

STOCKINGS. 

It  is  stated  that  Henry  the  Sejsond,  of  France,  was  the  first 
who  wore  silk  stockings,  and  this  was  on  the  occasion  of  his 
sister's  wedding  to  the  Duke  of  Savoy,  in  1509.  Howell,  in 
his  History  of  the  World,  says  that,  in  1550,  Queen  Elizabeth 
was  presented  with  a  pair  of  black  silk  knit  stockings  by  her 
silk-woman,  Mrs.  Montague,  and  that  she  never  wore  cloth  ones 
afterward.  He  also  adds,  that  Henry  the  Eighth  wore  ordi- 
narily cloth  hose,  unless  there  came  from  Spain,  by  great 
chance,  a  pair  of  silk  stockings.     His  son,  Edward  the  Sixth, 


ORIGIN   OF   THINGS   FAMILIAR.  345 

was  presented  with  a  pair  of  long  Spanish  silk  stockings  by 
Sir  Thomas  Gresham.  Hence  it  would  seem  that  knit 
stockings  originally  came  from  Spain.  It  is  stated  that  one 
William  Rider,  an  apprentice  on  London  Bridge,  seeing^  at 
the  house  of  an  Italian  merchant,  a  pair  of  knit  stockings, 
from  Mantua,  took  the  hint,  and  made  a  pair  exactly  like  them, 
which  he  presented  to  the  Earl  of  Pembroke,  and  that  they 
were  the  firat  of  that  kind  worn  in  England.  There  have  been 
various  opinions  with  respect  to  the  original  invention  of  the 
stocking-frame ;  but  it  is  now  generally  conceded  that  it  was 
invented  during  the  reign  of  Queen  Elizabeth,  in  the  year  1589, 
by  William  Lee,  M.A.,  of  St.  John's  College,  Cambridge. 
In  the  London  Magazine,  it  is  related  that  Mr.  Lee  was  ex- 
pelled from  the  University  for  marrying,  contrary  to  the  statutes 
of  the  college.  Being  thus  rejected,  and  ignorant  of  any  other 
means  of  subsistence,  he  was  reduced  to  the  necessity  of  living 
upon  what  his  wife  could  earn  by  knitting  stockings,  which 
gave  a  spur  to  his  invention  ;  and,  by  curiously  observing  the 
working  of  the  needles  in  knitting,  he  formed  in  his  mind  the 
model  of  the  frame.  Mr.  Lee  went  to  France,  and,  for  want 
of  patronage  there  and  in  England,  died  of  a  broken  heart,  at 
Paris.  In  the  hall  of  Framework  Knitters'  Company,  incor- 
porated by  Charles  the  Second,  in  16G3,  is  a  portrait  of  Lee, 
pointing  to  one  of  the  iron  frames,  and  discoursing  with  a 
woman,  who  is  knitting  with  needles  and  her  fingers. 


THB   ORDER  OF  THE   GARTER. 

When  Salisbury's  famed  oountess  was  dancing  with  glee, 
Her  stocking's  security  fell  from  her  knee. 
Allusions  and  hints,  sneers  and  whispers,  went  round ; 
The  trifle  was  scouted,  and  left  on  the  ground. 
When  Edward  the  Braye,  with  true  soldier-like  spirit, 
Cried,  "  The  garter  is  mine;  'tis  the  order  of  merit: 
The  first  knights  in  my  court  shall  be  happy  to  wear — 
Proud  distinction ! — the  garter  that  fell  from  the  fair; 
While  in  letters  of  gold — 'tis  your  monarch's  high  will— 
Sball  there  be  inscribed, '  III  to  him  that  think*  ill  V  " 


346  OBIQIN   OF   THINGS   FAMILIAR. 

DRINKING    HEALTHS. 

The  drinkiDg  of  healths  originated  during  the  Danish  occn- 
pation  of  Britain.  The  Danes  frequently  stabbed  Englishmen 
while  in  the  act  of  drinking,  and  it  finally  became  necessary 
for  the  English,  in  view  of  the  constant  repetition  of  this 
dastardly  mode  of  assassination,  to  enter  into  a  compact  to  be 
mutual  pledges  of  security  for  each  other's  health  and  pre- 
servation. Hence  the  custom  of  pledging  and  drinking 
healths. 

A   FEATHER  IN   ONS'S  CAP. 

In  the  Lansdowne  MS.,  British  Museum,  is  a  Description  of 
Hungary  in  1599,  in  which  the  writer  says  of  the  inhabitants, 
^^  It  hath  been  an  antient  custom  among  them  that  none  should 
wear  a  fether  but  he  who  had  killed  a  Turk,  to  whom  onlie  y' 
was  lawful  to  shew  the  number  of  his  slaine  enemys  by  the 
number  of  fethers  in  his  cappe." 

THE   WORD   BOOK. 

Before  paper  came  into  general  use,  our  Teutonic  forefathers 
wrote  their  letters,  calendars,  and  accounts  on  wood.  The  Boc, 
or  beech,  being  close-grained  and  plentiful  in  Northern  Europe, 
was  generally  employed  for  the  purpose;  and  hence  the  word 
hook, 

NINE   TAILORS    MAKE   A   MAN. 

The  following  humorous  account  of  the  origin  of  this  saying 
is  from  The  British  Apollo.  "  It  happened  ('tis  no  great  mat- 
ter in  what  year)  that  eight  tailors,  having  finished  considera- 
ble pieces  of  work  at  the  house  of  a  certain  person  of  quality, 
(whose  name  authors  have  thought  fit  to  conceal,)  and  received 
all  the  money  due  for  the  same,  a  virago  servant-maid  of  the 
house,  observing  them  to  be  but  slender-built  animals,  and  in 
their  mathematical  postures  on  their  shop-board  appearing  but  so 
many  pieces  of  men,  resolved  to  encounter  and  pillage  them  on 
the  road.     The  better  to  compass  her  design,  she  procured  a 


ORIGIN   OF  THINGS   FAMILIAR.  347 

very  terrible  great  black  padding,  which,  haviDg  waylaid  theut, 
ffhc  presented  at  the  breast  of  the  foremost.  They,  mistaking 
ihis  prop  of  life  for  an  instrument  of  death,  at  least  a  blunder- 
buss, readily  yielded  up  their  money;  but  she,  not  contented 
with  that,  severely  di.sciplined  them  with  a  cudgel  she  carried 
in  the  other  hand,  all  which  they  bore  with  a  philosophical  re- 
signation. Thus,  eight,  not  being  able  to  deal  with  one  woman, 
by  consequence  could  not  make  a  man ;  on  which  account  a 
ninth  is  added.  'Tis  the  opinion  of  our  curioiLS  virtuosos,  that 
their  want  of  courage  ariseth  from  their  immoderate  eating  of 
cucumbers,  which  too  much  refrigerates  their  blood.  However, 
to  their  eternal  honor  be  it  spoken,  they  have  often  been  known 
to  encounter  a  sort  of  cannibals,  to  whose  assaults  they  are  often 
subject,  not  fictitious,  but  real  man-eaters,  and  that  with  a 
lance  but  two  inches  long ;  nay,  and  although  they  go  armed 
no  further  than  their  middle  finger.'' 

An  earlier  authority  than  the  preceding  may  be  found  in  a 
note  in  Democritus  in  London^  with  the  Mad  PranJes  and 
Comical  Conceits  of  Motley  and  Rohin  Good/elloWy  in  which 
the  following  version  of  the  origin  of  the  saying  is  given.  It 
is  dated  1682  :— 

There  is  a  proyerb  which  has  been  of  old. 
And  many  men  have  likewise  been  so  told, 
To  the  discredit  of  the  Taylor's  Trade : 
Nin9  Taylon  go  to  make  up  a  man,  they  said; 
Bat  for  their  credit  Til  unriddle  it  f  ye: 
A  draper  once  fell  into  poTertie, 
Nine  Taylors  joined  their  purses  together  then. 
To  set  him  up,  and  make  him  a  msji  again. 

VIZ. 

The  contraction  viz,  affords  a  curious  instance  of  the  univer- 
Bality  of  arbitrary  signs.  There  are  few  people  now  who  do  not 
readily  comprehend  the  meaning  of  that  useful  particle, — a  cer- 
tain publican  excepted,  who,  being  furnished  with  a  list  of  the 
requirements  of  a  festival  in  which  the  word  appeared,  apolo- 
giicd  for  the  omission  of  one  of  the  items  enumerated :  he  in- 
formed the  company  that  he  had  inquired  throughout  the  town 


348  ORIGIN   OF  THINGS   FAMILIAR. 

for  some  viz.,  bat  he  had  not  been  able  to  procure  it.  He  was, 
however,  readily  excused  for  his  inability  to  da  so.  Vij. 
being  a  contraction  of  videlicet,  the  terminal  sign  3  was  never 
intended  to  represent  the  letter  '^  z/'  but  was  simply  a  mark  or 
sign  of  abbreviation.  It  is  now  always  written  and  expressed 
as  a  <'  z"  and  will  doubtless  continue  to  be  so. 

SIGNATURE   OF   THE   GROSS. 

The  mark  which  persons  who  are  unable  to  write  are  required  to 
make  instead  of  their  signatures,  is  in  the  form  of  a  cross;  and  this 
practice,  having  formerly  been  followed  by  kings  and  nobles,  is 
constantly  referred  to  as  an  instance  of  the  deplorable  ignorance 
of  ancient  times.  This  signature  is  not,  however,  invariably  a 
proof  of  such  ignorance.  Anciently  the  use  of  the  mark  was  not 
confined  to  illiterate  persons;  for  among  the  Saxons  the  mark 
of  the  cross,  as  an  attestation  of  the  good  faith  of  the  persons 
signing,  was  required  to  be  attached  to  the  signature  of  those 
who  could  write,  as  well  as  to  stand  in  the  place  of  the  signa- 
ture of  those  who  could  not  write.  In  those  times,  if  a  man 
could  write,  or  even  read,  his  knowledge  was  considered  proof 
presumptive  that  he  was  in  holy  orders.  The  clericus,  or  clerk, 
was  synonymous  with  penman ;  and  the  laity,  or  people  who 
were  not  clerks,  did  not  feel  any  urgent  necessity  for  the  use 
of  letters.  The  ancient  use  of  the  cross  was  therefore  uni- 
versal, alike  by  those  who  could  and  those  who  could  not  write: 
it  was,  indeed,  the  symbol  of  an  oath,  from  its  sacred  associa- 
tions, as  well  as  the  mark  generally  adopted.  Hence  the  origin 
of  the  expression  <<God  save  the  mark,''  as  a  form  of  ejacula- 
tion approaching  the  character  of  an  oath. 

THE   TURKISH   CRESCENT. 

When  Philip  of  Macedon  approached  by  night  with  his 
troops  to  scale  the  walls  of  Byzantium,  the  moon  shone  out  and 
discovered  his  design  to  the  besieged,  who  repulsed  him.  The 
crescent  was  afterwards  adopted  as  the  favorite  badge  of  the 
city.     When  the  Turks  took  Byzantium,  they  found  the  ores- 


OBIGIN   or  THINGS   FAMILIAR.  349 

cent  in  every  public  place,  and,  believing  it  to  possess  some 
magical  power,  adopted  it  themselves. 

The  origin  of  the  orescent  as  a  religious  emblem  is  anterior 
to  the  time  of  Philip  of  Macedon,  dating,  in  fact,  from  the  very 
banning  of  history. 

POSTPAID   ENVELOPES. 

M.  Piron  tells  us  that  the  idea  of  a  postpaid  envelope  ori- 
ginated early  in  the  reign  of  Louis  XIV.,  with  M.  de  Valfyer, 
who,  in  1653,  established  (with  royal  approbation)  a  private 
penny-post,  placing  boxes  at  the  comers  of  the  streets  for 
the  reception  of  letters  wrapped  up  in  envelopes,  which  were 
to  be  bought  at  offices  established  for  that  purpose.  M.  de 
Valfyer  also  had  printed  certain  forms  of  billets,  or  notes, 
applicable  to  the  ordinary  business  among  the  inhabitants  of 
great  towns,  with  blanks,  which  were  to  be  filled  up  by  the  pen 
with  such  special  matter  as  might  complete  the  writer's  object. 
One  of  these  billets  has  been  preserved  to  our  times  by  a  plea- 
sant misapplication  of  it.  P^lisson  (Mdme.  de  S^vign^'s  friend, 
and  the  object  of  the  bon  mot  that  ^^  he  abused  the  privilege 
which  men  have  of  being  ugly")  was  amused  at  this  kind  of 
skeleton  correspondence;  and  under  the  afiected  n*ame  of  Pi" 
sandre,  (according  to  the  pedantic  fashion  of  the  day,)  he  filled 
up  and  addressed  one  of  these  forms  to  the  celebrated  Made- 
moiselle de  Scuderie,  in  her  pseudonyme  of  Sappho.  This 
strange  bxUet-doux  has  happened,  from  the  celebrity  of  the  par- 
ties, to  be  preserved,  and  it  is  still  extant, — one  of  the  oldest, 
it  is  presumed,  of  penny-post  letters,  and  a  curious  example  of 
a  j7repaying  envelope,  a  new  proof  of  the  adage  that  '^  there 
is  nothing  new  under  the  sun.'' 

OLD   HUNDRED. 

The  history  of  this  old  psalm-tune,  which  almost  every  one 
has  been  accustomed  to  hear  ever  since  he  can  remember,  is 
the  subject  of  a  work  recently  written  by  an  English  clergy- 
man     Luther  has  generally  been  considered  the  author  of 

30 


350  ORIGIN   OF   THINGS   FAMILIAR. 

'*  Old  Hundred,"  but  it  has  been  pretty  satisfactorily  ascertained 
that  it  was  composed  in  the  sixteenth  century,  and  certainly 
previous  to  1546,  by  William  Franc,  a  German.  In  the  course 
of  time  its  arrangement  has  undergone  repeated  alterations; 
and  it  is  said  that,  as  it  originally  appeared,  it  was  of  a  more 
lively  character  than  at  present.  Many  of  these  alterations 
have  been  carefully  preserved  and  may  be  seen  by  reference  to 
Moore's  Encyclopaedia  of  Muaic,  The  oldest  copy  of  it  that 
has  been  preserved  was  published  in  France,  in  Marot  and 
Beza's  Psalms,  1550.  Subjoined  is  a  faithful  transcript  of  its 
original  adaptation  to  the  184th  Psalm.  It  contrasts  as  broadly 
with  the  present  style  of  musical  notation  as  does  the  English 
of  Chaucer  with  that  of  Noah  Webster. 


^^^^^^^^^^ 


==^ 


Or  BUS  servitears  du  8eigneur,youB  qui  de  nuit  en  son  honneur 


^     r^f^r-^^ -^-; g>    ^    /n^^  ^=^    r^ — 1— 4-f 

De-dans  sa  maison    le  serves,  Louez-le,  et    son  Nom  eleyes. 
LA   MARSEILLAISE. 

Rouget  de  Lisle  was  a  young  officer  of  engineers  at  Stras- 
bourg. He  was  born  VkiLons-k'SavInierfin  the  Jura  a  country 
of  reverie  and  energy,  as  mountains  commonly  are.  He  re- 
lieved the  tediousness  of  a  garrison-life  by  writing  verses  and 
indulging  a  love  of  music.  He  was  a  frequent  visitor  at  the 
house  of  the  Baron  de  Diedrich,  a  noble  Alsacian  of  the  consti- 
tutional party,  the  Mayor  of  Strasbourg.  The  family  loved  the 
young  officer,  and  gave  new  inspiration  to  his  heart  in  its  at- 
tachment to  music  and  poetry,  and  the  ladies  were  in  the  habit 
of  assisting,  by  their  performances,  the  early  conceptions  of  his 
genius.  A  famine  prevailed  at  Strasbourg  in  the  winter  of 
1792.     The  house  of  Diedrich  was  rich  at  the  beginning  of  the 


OAIGIN   OF   THINGS   FAMILIAR.  351 

revolutioo,  but  had  now  become  poor  under  the  calamitiea  and 
sacrifices  of  the  time.  Its  frugal  table  had  always  a  hospitable 
place  for  Rouget  de  Lisle.  He  was  there  morniog  and  even- 
ing as  a  son  and  brother.  One  day,  when  only  some  slices  of 
ham  smoked  upon  the  table,  with  a  supply  of  camp-bread,  Die- 
drich  said  to  De  Lisle,  in  sad  serenity,  '^  Plenty  is  not  found 
at  our  meals.  But  no  matter :  enthusiasm  is  not  wanting  at 
our  civic  festivals,  and  our  soldiers'  hearts  are  full  of  courage. 
We  have  one  more  bottle  of  Khine  wine  in  the  cellar.  Let  us 
have  it,  and  we'll  drink  to  liberty  and  the  country.  Strasbourg 
will  soon  have  a  patriotic  ftte^  and  De  Lisle  must  draw  from 
these  last  drops  one  of  his  h^ns  that  will  carry  his  own  ardent 
feelings  to  the  soul  of  the  people.''  The  young  ladies  applauded 
the  proposal.  They  brought  the  wine,  and  continued  to  fill  the 
glasses  of  Diedrich  and  the  young  officer  until  the  bottle  was 
empty.  The  night  was  cold.  De  Lisle's  head  and  heart  were 
warm.  He  found  his  way  to  his  lodgings,  entered  his  solitary 
chamber,  and  sought  for  inspiration  at  one  moment  in  the  pal- 
pitations of  his  citizen's  heart,  and  at  another  by  touching,  as 
an  artist,  the  keys  of  his  instrument,  and  striking  out  alter* 
nately  portions  of  an  air  and  giving  utterance  to  poetic 
thoughts.  He  did  not  himself  know  which  came  first;  it  was 
impossible  for  him  to  separate  the  poetry  from  the  music,  or  the 
sentiment  from  the  words  in  which  it  was  clothed.  He  sang 
altogether,  and  wrote  nothing.  In  this  state  of  lofty  inspira- 
tion, he  went  to  sleep  with  his  head  upon  the  instrument.  The 
chants  of  the  night  came  upon  him  in  the  morning  like  the 
faint  impressions  of  a  dream.  He  wrote  down  the  words,  made 
the  notes  of  the  music,  and  ran  to  Diedrich's.  He  found  him 
in  the  garden  digging  winter  lettuces.  The  wife  of  the  patriot 
mayor  was  not  yet  up.  Diedrich  awoke  her.  They  called  to- 
gether some  friends,  who  were,  like  themselves,  passionately 
fond  of  music,  and  able  to  execute  the  compositions  of  De  Lisle. 
One  of  the  young  ladies  played,  and  Rouget  sang.  At  the  first 
stanza,  the  countenances  of  the  company  grew  pale;  at  the 
second,  tears  flowed  abundantly;  at  the  last,  a  delirium  of  en 


352  ORIGIN  OP  THINGS   FAMILIAR. 

thusiasm  broke  forth.  Diedrich,  his  wife^  and  the  young  offi< 
cer  cast  themselves  into  each  others'  arms.  The  hymn  of  the 
Dation  was  found.  Alas !  it  was  destined  to  become  a  hymn  of 
terror.  The  unhappy  Diedrich  a  few  months  afterwards  marched 
to  the  scaffold  at  the  sound  of  the  notes  first  uttered  at  his  hearth, 
from  the  heart  of  his  friend  and  the  voice  of  his  wife.  . 

The  new  song,  executed  some  days  afterwards  publicly  at 
Strasbourg,  flew  from  town  to  town  through  all  the  orchestras. 
Marseilles  adopted  it  to  be  sung  at  the  opening  and  adjourn- 
ment of  the  clubs.  Hence  it  took  the  name  of  the  Marseillaise 
Hymn.  The  old  mother  of  De  Lisle,  a  loyalist  and  a  religious 
person,  alarmed  at  the  reverberation  of  her  son's  name,  wrote 
to  him,  "  What  is  the  meaning  of  this  revolutionary  hymn, 
sung  by  hordes  of  robbers  who  pass  all  over  France,  with  which 
our  name  is  mixed  up?''  De  Lisle  himself,  proscribed  as  a 
Federalist,  heard  its  re-echo  upon  his  ears  as  a  threat  of  death 
as  he  fled  among  the  paths  of  Jura.  '^What  is  this  song 
called?"  he  inquired  of  his  guide.  "The  Marseillaise,**  re- 
plied the  peasant.     It  was  with  difficulty  that  he  escaped. 

The  "  Marseillaise"  was  the  liquid  fire  of  the  revolution.  It 
distilled  into  the  senses  and  the  soul  of  the  people  the  frenzy 
of  battle.  Its  notes  floated  like  an  ensign,  dipped  in  warm 
blood  over  a  field  of  combat.  Glory  and  crime,  victory  and 
death,  seemed  interwoven  in  its  strains.  It  was  the  song  of 
patriotism ;  but  it  was  the  signal  of  fury.  It  accompanied  war- 
riors to  the  field  and  victims  to  the  scaffold ! 

There  is  no  national  air  that  will  compare  with  the  Marseil- 
laise in  sublimity  and  power :  it  embraces  the  soft  cadences  full 
of  the  peasant's  home,  and  the  stormy  clangor  of  silver  and 
steel  when  an  empire  is  overthrown ;  it  endears  the  memory 
of  the  vine-dresser's  cottage,  and  makes  the  Frenchman,  in  his 
exile,  cry,  "  La  belle  France !"  forgetful  of  the  sword,  and  torch, 
and  guillotine,  which  have  made  his  country  a  spectre  of  blood 
in  the  eyes  of  nations.  Nor  can  the  foreigner  listen  to  it,  sung 
by  a  company  of  exiles,  or  executed  by  a  band  of  musicians, 
without  feeling  that  it  is  the  pibroch  of  battle  and  war. 


ORIGIN    OF  THINGS   FAMILIAR.  353 

YANKEE   DOODLE. 

The  good  the  Rhine-song  does  to  German  hearts. 
Or  thine,  Marseilles!  to  France's  fiery  blood; 

The  good  thj  anthemed  harmony  imparts, 
"  God  save  the  Queen  !"  to  England's  field  and  flood, 

A  home-bom  blessing.  Natani's  boon,  not  Art's, 
The  same  heart-cheering,  spirit- warming  good, 

To  as  and  oars,  where'er  we  war  or  woo. 

Thy  words  and  music,  Yankbs  Doodlb  ! — do. — ^Hallbck. 

The  origin  of  Yankee  Doodle  is  by  no  means  so  clear  as 
American  antiquaries  desire.  The  statement  that  the  air  was 
composed  by  Dr.  Shackbarg,  in  1755,  when  the  colonial  troops 
united  with  the  British  regulars  near  Albany,  preparatory  to 
the  attack  on  the  French  posts  of  Niagara  and  Frontenac,  and 
that  it  was  produced  in  derision  of  the  old-fashioned  equipments 
of  the  proyincial  soldiers  as  contrasted  with  the  neat  and  or- 
derly appointments  of  the  regulars,  was  published  some  years 
ago  in  a  musical  magazine  printed  in  Boston.  The  account 
there  given  as  to  the  ongin  of  the  song  is  this : — During  the 
attacks  upon  the  French  outposts  in  1755,  in  America,  Governor 
Shirley  and  General  Jackson  led  the  force  directed  against  the 
enemy  lying  at  Niagara  and  Frontenac.  In  the  early  part  of 
June,  whilst  these  troops  were  stationed  on  the  banks  of  the 
Hudson,  near  Albany,  the  descendants  of  the  "  Pilgrim  fathers*' 
flocked  in  from  the  Eastern  provinces.  Never  was  seen  such  a 
motley  regiment  as  took  up  its  position  on  the  left  wing  of 
the  British  army.  The  band  played  music  as  antiquated  and 
outri  as  their  uniforms;  officers  and  privates  had  adopted  regi- 
mentals each  man  after  his  own  fashion ;  one  wore  a  flowing 
wig,  while  his  neighbor  rejoiced  in  hair  cropped  closely  to  the 
head ;  this  one  had  a  coat  with  wonderful  long  skirts,  his  fel- 
low marched  without  his  upper  garment;  various  as  the  colors 
of  the  rainbow  were  the  clothes  worn  by  the  gallant  band.  It 
so  happened  that  there  was  a  certain  Dr.  Shackburg,  wit,  musi- 
cian, and  surgeon,  and  one  evening  after  mess  he  produced  a 
tune,  which  he  earnestly  commended,  as  a  well-known  piece  of 
military  music,  to  the  officers  of  the  militia.  The  joke  suo- 
X  30* 


354  ORIGIN   OF   THINGS   FAMILIAR. 

ceeded,  and  Yankee  Doodle  was  hailed  by  acclamation  *'  their 
own  march." 

This  account  is  somewhat  apocryphal,  as  there  is  no  song : 
the  tune  in  the  United  States  is  a  march ;  there  are  no  words 
to  it  of  a  national  character.  The  only  words  ever  affixed  to 
the  air  in  this  country  is  the  following  doggerel  quatrain : — 

Yankee  Doodle  came  to  town 

Upon  a  little  pony; 
He  stack  a  feather  in  his  hat 

And  called  it  macaronL 

It  has  been  asserted  by  English  writers  that  the  air  and  words 
of  these  lines  are  as  old  as  Cromwell's  time.  The  only  altera- 
tion is  in  making  Yankee  Doodle  of  what  was  Nankee  Doodle. 
It  is  asserted  that  the  tune  will  be  found  in  the  Musical  Anti- 
quities of  England,  and  that  Nankee  Doodle  was  intended  to 
apply  to  Cromwell,  and  the  other  lines  were  designed  to  "  allude 
to  his  going  into  Oxford  with  a  single  plume,  fastened  in  a  knot 
called  a  macaroni."  The  tune  was  known  in  New  England  be- 
fore the  Revolution  as  Lydia  Fisher's  Jig,  a  name  derived 
from  a  famous  lady  of  easy  virtue  in  the  reign  of  Charles  II., 
and  which  has  been  perpetuated  in  tKe  following  nursery- 
rhyme  : — 

Lucy  Locket  lost  her  pocket, 

Kitty  Fisher  found  it; 
Not  a  bit  of  money  in  it. 

Only  binding  round  it. 

The  regulars  in  Boston  in  1775  and  1776  are  said  to  have 
sung  verses  to  the  same  air : — 

Yankee  Doodle  came  to  town, 

For  to  buy  a  firelock ; 
We  will  tar  and  feather  him, 

And  so  we  will  John  Hancock,  Ac. 

The  manner  in  which  the  tune  came  to  be  adopted  by  the 
Americans,  is  shown  in  the  following  letter  of  the  Rev.  W.  Gor- 
don. Describing  the  battles  of  Lexington  and  Concord,  before 
alluded  to,  he  says  : — 

The  brigade  under  Lord  Percy  marched  out  (of  Boston) 


ORIGIN   OF  THINGS   FAMILIAR.  355 

playing;  by  way  of  contempt,  Yankee  Doodle :  they  were  after- 
wards told  that  they  had  been  made  to  dance  to  it. 

It  is  most  likely  that  Yankee  Doodle  was  originally  derived 
from  Holland.  A  song  with  the  following  burden  has  long 
been  in  use  among  the  laborers  who,  in  the  time  of  harvest^ 
migrate  ftx>m  Germany  to  the  Low  Countries,  where  they  re- 
oeiye  for  their  work  as  much  buttermilk  as  they  can  drink,  and 
a  tenth  of  the  grain  secured  by  their  exertions  :— 

Yanker  didel,  doodel  down, 

Didel,  dudel  lauter, 
Yanke  viver,  voover  Town, 

Botermilk  and  Tanther. 

That  is,  buttermilk  and  a  tenth. 

THE  AMERICAN   FLAG. 

A  resolution  was  introduced  in  the  American  Congress,  June 
13,  1777,  "That  the  flag  of  the  thirteen  United  States  be 
thirteen  stripes,  alternately  red  and  white ;  that  the  union  be 
thirteen  stars,  white  in  a  blue  field,  representing  a  new  constel- 
lation." There  is  a  striking  coincidence  between  the  design 
of  our  flag  and  the  arms  of  General  Washington,  which  con- 
sisted of  three  stars  in  the  upper  portion,  and  three  bars  run- 
ning across  the  escutcheon.  It  is  thought  by  some  that  the 
flag  was  deriyed  from  this  heraldic  design.  History  informs  us 
that  several  flags  were  used  by  the  Yankees  before  the  present 
national  one  was  adopted.  In  March,  1775,  a  Union  flag  with 
a  red  field  was  hoisted  in  New  York,  bearing  the  inscription  on 
one  side  of  "  George  Rex  and  the  liberties  of  America,"  and 
upon  the  reverse,  "No  Popery."  General  Israel  Putnam  raised 
on  Prospect  Hill,  July  18,  1775,  a  flag  bearing  on  one  side 
the  motto  of  the  commonwealth  of  Massachusetts,  "Qui  trans- 
tulit  sustinety"  on  the  other,  "An  appeal  to  Heaven,"— an  ap- 
peal well  taken  and  amply  sustained.  In  October,  1775,  the 
floating  batteries  of  Boston  bore  a  flag  with  the  latter  motto, 
and  a  pine-tree  upon  a  white  field,  with  the  Massachusetts 
emblem.     Some  of  the  colonics  used   in  1775  a  flag  with  a 


356  ORIGIN   OF   THINGS   FAMILIAR. 

rattlesnake  coiled  as  if  about  to  strike,  and  the  motto  "  Don't 
tread  on  me."  On  January  18,  1776,  the  grand  Union  flag 
of  the  stars  and  stripes  was  raised  on  the  heights  near  Boston; 
and  it  is  said  that  some  of  the  regulars  made  the  great  mistake 
of  supposing  it  was  a  token  of  submission  to  the  king,  whose 
speech  had  just  been  sent  to  the  Americans.  The  British  Re- 
gister of  1776  says,  <*They  [the  rebels]  burnt  the  king's 
speech,  and  changed  their  colors  from  a  plain  red  ground  to  a 
flag  with  thirteen  stripes,  as  a  symbol  of  the  number  and  union 
of  the  colonies.''  A  letter  from  Boston,  published  in  the  Pewnr- 
sylvania  Gazette,  in  1776,  says,  "  The  Union  flag  was  raised 
on  the  2d,  a  compliment  to  the  United  Colonies."  These  vari- 
ous flags,  the  Pine-Tree,  the  Rattlesnake,  and  the  Stripes,  were 
used,  according  to  the  tastes  of  the  patriots,  until  July,  1777, 
when  the  blue  union  of  the  stars  was  added  to  the  stripes,  and 
the  flag  established  by  law.  At  first  a  stripe  was  added  for 
each  new  State ;  but  the  flag  became  too  large,  and  Congress 
reduced  the  stripes  to  the  original  thirteen,  and  now  the  stars 
are  made  to  correspond  in  number  with  the  States.  No  one, 
who  lives  under  the  protection  of  the  Stars  and  Stripes,  will 
deny  that  "  the  American  flag  is  one  of  the  most  beautiful 
that  floats  upon  any  land  or  sea."  Its  proportions  are  per- 
fect when  it  is  properly  made, — one-half  as  broad  as  it  is  long. 
The  first  stripe  at  the  top  is  red,  the  next  white,  and  these 
colors  alterDate,  making  the  last  stripe  red.  The  blue  field  for 
the  stars  is  the  width  and  square  of  the  first  seven  stripes,  viz., 
four  red  and  three  white.  The  colors  of  the  American  flag  are 
in  beautiful  relief,  and  it  is  altogether  a  splendid  national  em- 
blem.    Long  may  it  wave  untarnished  ! 

BROTHER  JONATHAN. 

The  origin  of  this  term,  as  applied  to  the  United  States,  is  as 
follows.  When  General  Washington,  after  being  appointed 
commander  of  the  army  of  the  Revolutionary  War,  went  to 
Massachusetts  to  organize  it,  he  found  a  great  want  of  ammu- 
oition   and  other  means  of  defence;  and  on  one  occasion  it 


ORIGIN   OF  THINGS   FAMILIAR.  357 

seemed  that  no  means  could  be  devised  for  the  necessary  safety. 
Jonathan  Trumbull,  the  elder,  was  then  Governor  of  the  State 
of  Connecticut ;  and  the  general,  placiog  the  greatest  reliance 
on  his  excellency's  judgment,  remarked,  "We  must  consult 
Brother  Jonathan  on  the  subject."  The  general  did  so,  and 
the  governor  was  successful  in  supplying  many  of  the  wants 
of  the  army;  and  thenceforward,  when  difl&culties  arose,  and  the 
army  was  spread  over  the  country,  it  became  a  by-phrase,  "We 
must  consult  Brother  Jonathan;''  and  the  name  has  now  become 
a  designation  for  the  whole  country,  as  John  Bull  has  for 
England. 

UNCLE   SAM. 

Immediately  after  the  declaration  of  war  with  England,  in  1812, 
Elbert  Anderson,  of  New  York,  then  a  contractor,  visited  Troy, 
where  he  purchased  a  large  quantity  of  provisions.  The  in- 
spectors of  the  articles  at  that  place  were  Ebenezer  and  Samuel 
Wilson.  The  latter  gentleman  (universally  known  as  "Uncle 
Sam")  generally  superintended  in  person  a  large  number  of 
workmen,  who,  on  this  occasion,  were  employed  in  overhauling 
the  provisions  purchased  by  the  contractor.  The  casks  were 
marked  "E.  A. — U.  S."  Their  inspection  fell  to  the  lot  of  a 
facetious  fellow,  who,  on  being  asked  the  meaning  of  the  mark, 
said  he  did  not  know,  unless  it  meant  Elbert  Anderson  and 
Uncle  Sarriy  alluding  to  Uncle  Sam  Wilson,  The  joke  took 
among  the  workmen,  and  passed  currently;  and  "Uncle  Sam," 
when  present,  was  often  rallied  by  thetn  on  the  increasing  ex- 
tent of  his  possessions. 

THE   DOLLAR    MARK,  8. 

Writers  are  not  agreed  as  to  the  derivation  of  this  sign  to 
represent  dollars.  Some  say  that  it  comes  from  the  letters  U. 
S.,  which,  after  the  adoption  of  the  Federal  Constitution,  were 
prefixed  to  the  Federal  currency,  and  which  afterwards,  in  the 
hurry  of  writing,  were  run  into  one  another,  the  U  being  made 
first  and  the  S  over  it.  Others  say  that  it  is  derived  from  the 
contraction  of  the  Spanish  word  pesos^  dollars ;  others,  from  the 


358  ORIGIN   OF  THINGS   FAMILIAR. 

Spanish  fuerie^^  hard, — to  distinguish  silver  from  paper  money 
The  more  plausible  explanation  is,  that  it  is  a  modification  of 
the  figure  8,  and  denotes  a  piece  of  eight  reals,  or,  as  the  dol- 
lar was  formerly  called,  a  'piece  of  eight  It  was  then  desig- 
nated by  the  figures  §. 

ORIGIN   OF  VARIOUS   INVENTIONS   AND   CUSTOMS. 

The  Saxons  first  introduced  archery  in  the  time  of  Vortigern 
It  was  dropped  immediately  after  the  conquest,  but  was  revived 
by  the  Crusaders,  they  having  felt  the  effects  of  it  in  their  com« 
bats  with  the  Saracens,  who  probably  derived  it  from  the  Par- 
thians.  The  Normans  brought  with  them  the  cross-bow,  but 
after  the  time  of  Edward  II.  its  use  was  supplanted  by  that  of 
the  long-bow,  which  became  the  favorite  national  weapon.  Bows 
and  arrows,  as  weapons  of  war,  were  in  use  with  stone  cannon- 
balls  as  late  as  1640.  All  the  statutes  for  the  encouragement 
of  archery  were  framed  after  the  invention  of  gunpowder  and 
firearms,  the  object  being  to  prevent  this  ancient  weapon  be- 
coming obsolete.  Yew-trees  were  encouraged  in  churchyards, 
for  the  making  of  bows,  in  1642.  Hence  their  generality  in 
churchyards  in  England. 

Coats  of  arms,  or  armorial  bearings,  came  into  vogue  in  the 
reign  of  Richard  I.  of  England,  and  became  hereditary  in 
families  about  the  year  1192.  They  took  their  rise  from  the 
knights  painting  their  banners  with  different  figures  to  dis- 
tinguish them  in  the  Crusades. 

The  first  standing  army  of  modern  times  was  established  by 
Charles  VII.  of  France,  in  1445.  Previous  to  that  time  the 
king  had  depended  upon  his  nobles  for  contingents  in  time  of 
war.  A  standing  army  was  first  established  in  England  in 
1638,  by  Charles  I.,  but  it  was  declared  illegal,  as  well  as  the 
organization  of  the  royal  guards,  in  1769.  The  first  permanent 
military  band  instituted  in  England  was  the  yeomen  of  the 
guards,  established  in  1486. 

Guns  were  invented  by  Swartz,  a  Grerman,  about  1378,  and 
brought  into  use  by  the  Venetians,  in  1382.     Cannon  wore  io- 


ORIGIN   OF  THINGS  FAMILIAR  359 

vented  at  an  anterior  date  :  at  Amberg  may  still  be  seen  a  piece 
of  ordnance  inscribed  1303.  They  were  first  used  at  the  battle 
of  Cressy  in  1346.  In  England,  they  were  first  used  at  the 
siege  of  Berwick,  in  1405.  It  was  not  until  1544,  however, 
that  they  were  cast  in  England.  They  were  employed  on  ship- 
board by  the  Venetians  in  1539,  and  were  in  use  among  the 
Turks  about  the  same  time.  An  artillery  company  was  insti- 
tuted in  England  for  weekly  military  exercises  in  1610. 

Dating  from  the  Christian  Era  was  commenced  in  Italy  in 
525,  and  in  England  in  816. 

Pliny  gives  the  origin  of  glass-making  thus.  As  some  mer- 
chants were  carrying  nitre,  they  stopped  near  a  river  issuing 
from  Mount  Carmel.  Not  readily  finding  stones  to  rest  their 
kettles  on,  they  used  some  pieces  of  nitre  for  that  purpose :  the 
fire  gradually  dissolving  the  nitre,  it  mixed  with  the  sand,  and 
a  transparent  matter  flowed,  which,  in  fact,  was  glass. 

Insurance  of  ships  was  first  practised  in  the  reign  of  Csesar, 
in  45.  It  was  a  general  custom  in  Europe  in  1494.  Insurance- 
ofiices  were  first  established  in  London  in  1667. 

Astronomy  was  first  studied  by  the  Moors,  and  was  intro- 
duced by  them  into  Europe  in  1201.  The  rapid  progress  of 
modem  astronomy  dates  from  the  time  of  Copernicus.  Books 
of  astronomy  and  geometry  were  destroyed,  as  infected  with 
magic,  in  England,  under  the  reign  of  Edward  YI.,  in  1552. 

Banks  were  first  established  by  the  Lombard  Jews,  in  Italy. 
The  name  is  derived  from  banco,  a  term  applied  to  the  benches 
erected  in  the  market-places  for  the  exchanges  of  money,  &o. 
The  first  public  bank  was  at  Yenice,  in  1550.  The  Bank  of 
England  was  established  in  1693.  In  1696  its  notes  were  at 
twenty  per  cent,  discount. 

The  invention  of  bells  is  attributed  to  Paulinus,  Bishop  of 
Nola,  in  Campania,  about  the  year  400.  They  were  originally  in- 
troduced into  churches  as  a  defence  against  thunder  and  light- 
ning. They  were  first  hung  up  in  England,  at  Croyland  Abbey, 
Lincolnshire,  in  945.  In  the  eleventh  century  and  later,  it 
was  the  custom  to  baptize  them  in  churches  before  they  were 


360  ORIGIN   OF  THINGS  FAMILIAR. 

used.  The  curfew- bell  was  established  in  1068.  It  was  rung 
at  eight  o'clock  in  the  evening,  when  people  were  obliged  to 
put  out  their  fire  and  candle.  The  custom  was  abolished  in 
1100.  ChimeS;  or  musical  bells,  were  invented  at  Alost,  in 
Belgium,  1487.  Bellmen  were  appointed  in  London,  in  1656, 
to  ring  the  bells  at  night,  and  cry,  ''Take  care  of  your  fire  and 
candle,  be  charitable  to  the  poor,  and  pray  for  the  dead." 

How  many  are  aware  of  the  origin  of  the  word  "  boo  !"  used 
to  frighten  children  ?  It  is  a  corruption  of  Boh,  the  name  of 
a  fierce  Gothic  general,  the  son  of  Odin,  the  mention  of  whose 
name  spread  a  panic  among  his  enemies. 

Book-keeping  was  first  introduced  into  England  from  Italy 
by  Peele,  in  1569.  It  was  derived  from  a  system  of  algebra 
published  by  Burgo,  at  Venice. 

Notaries  public  were  first  appointed  by  the  Fathers  of  the 
Christian  Church  to  make  a  collection  of  the  acts  or  memoirs 
of  martyrs  in  the  first  century. 

The  administration  of  the  oath  in  civil  cases  is  of  high  anti- 
quity. See  Exodus  xxii.  II.  Swearing  on  the  Gospels  was 
first  used  in  528.  The  oath  was  first  administered  in  judicial 
proceedings  in  England  by  the  Saxons,  in  600.  The  words 
'*  So  help  me  God,  and  all  saints,"  concluded  an  oath,  till 
1550. 

Signals  to  be  used  at  sea  were  first  contrived  by  James  II., 
when  he  was  Duke  of  York,  in  1665.  They  were  afterwards 
improved  by  the  French  commander  Tourville,  and  by  Admiral 
Balchen. 

Haw  silk  is  said  to  have  first  been  made  by  a  people  of  China 
called  Ceres,  150  B.  c.  It  was  first  brought  from  India,  in  274, 
and  a  pound  of  it  at  that  time  was  worth  a  pound  of  gold.  The 
manufacture  of  raw  silk  was  introduced  into  Europe  from 
India  by  some  monks  in  550.  Silk  dresses  were  first  worn  in 
1455.  The  eggs  of  the  silk-worm  were  firat  brought  into 
Europe  in  527. 

Paulus  Jovius  was  the  first  person  who  introduced  mottoes ; 
Dorat,  the  first  who  brought  anagrams  into  fashion.     Rabelais 


ORIGIN   OF   THINGS  FAMILIAR.  361 

was  the  first  who  wrote  satires  in  French  prose;  Etienne  Jodelle, 
the  first  who  introduced  tragedies  into  France.  The  Cardinal 
of  Ferrara,  Archbishop  of  Lyons,  was  the  first  who  had  a  tragi- 
comedy performed  on  the  stage  of  Italian  comedians.  The  first 
sonnet  that  appeared  in  French  is  attributed  to  Jodelle. 

(ruido  Aretino,  a  Benedictine  monk  of  Arezzo,  Tuscany,  in 
1204  designated  the  notes  used  in  the  musical  scale  by  syllables 
derived  from  the  following  verses  of  a  Latin  hymn  dedicated  to 
St.  John  :— 

UT  qacant  laxis      REsonaro  fibria, 

MIra  gestoram       FAmuli  taoniin, 

SOLve  poUutifl        LAbii  reatum. 
0  Pater  Alme. 

By  this  means  he  converted  the  old  tetrachord  into  hexachords. 
He  also  invented  lines  and  spaces  in  musical  notation. 

The  invention  of  clocks  is  by  some  ascribed  to  Pacificus, 
Archdeacon  of  Verona,  in  the  ninth  century  ]  and  by  others,  to 
Boethius,  in  the  early  part  of  the  sixth.  The  Saracens  are  sup- 
posed to  have  had  clocks  which  were  moved  by  weights,  as 
early  as  the  eleventh  century ;  and,  as  the  term  is  applied  by 
Dante  to  a  machine  which  struck  the  hours,  clocks  must  have 
been  known  in  Italy  about  the  end  of  the  thirteenth  or  begin- 
ning of  the  fourteenth  century.  The  most  ancient  clock  of 
which  we  have  any  certain  account  was  erected  in  a  tower  of 
the  palace  of  Charles  V.,  King  of  France,  in  1364,  by  Henry 
de  Wyck  or  de  Vick,  a  German  artist.  A  clock  was  erected 
at  Strasbourg  in  1370,  at  Courtray  about  the  same  period,  and 
at  Speyer  in  1395. 

Watches  are  said  to  have  been  made  at  Nuremberg  as  early 
as  1477 ;  but  it  is  uncertain  how  far  the  watches  then  con- 
structed resembled  those  now  in  use.  Some  of  the  early  onc4 
were  very  small,  in  the  shape  of  a  pear,  and  sometimes  fitted 
into  the  top  of  a  walking-stick.  As  time-keepers,  watches 
could  have  had  very  little  value  before  the  application  of  the 
spiral  spring  as  a  regulator  to  the  balance.     This  was  invented 

by  Hooke,  in  1658. 

31 


362  ORIGIN   OF   TUINGS    FAMILIAR. 

The  use  of  the  pendulum  was  suggested  by  a  circumstance 
similar  to  that  which  started  in  Newton's  mind  the  train  of 
thought  that  led  to  the  theory  of  gravitation,  Galileo,  when 
under  twenty  years  of  age,  standing  one  day  in  the  metro- 
politan church  of  Pisa,  observed  a  lamp,  which  yras  sus- 
pended from  the  ceiling,  and  which  had  been  disturbed  by 
accident,  swing  backwards  and  forwards.  This  was  a  thing 
80  common  that  thousands,  no  doubt,  had  observed  it  before ; 
but  Galileo,  struck  with  the  regularity  with  which  it  moved 
backwards  and  forwards,  reflected  upon  it,  and  perfected  the 
method  now  in  use  of  measuring  time  by  means  of  a  pendulum. 

A  monk  named  Rivalto  mentions,  in  a  sermon  preached  in 
Florence  in  1305,  that  spectacles  had  then  been  known  about 
twenty  years.  This  would  place  the  invention  about  the  year 
1285. 

Quills  are  supposed  to  have  been  used  for  writing-pens  in  the 
fifth  century,  though  the  conjecture  rests  mainly  on  an  anecdote 
of  Theodoric,  King  of  the  Ostrogoths,  who,  being  so  illiterate 
that  he  could  not  write  even  the  initials  of  his  own  name,  was 
provided  with  a  plate  of  gold  through  which  the  letters  were 
cut,  and,  this  being  placed  on  the  paper  when  his  signature  was 
required,  he  traced  the  letters  with  a  quill.  The  date  of  the 
earliest  certain  account  of  the  modern  writing-pen  is  636.  The 
next  notice  occurs  in  the  latter  part  of  the  same  century, 
in  a  Latin  sonnet  to  a  pen  by  Aldhelm,  a  Saxon  author.  The 
reeds  formerly  employed  are  still  used  in  some  Eastern  nations. 
Steel  pens  were  first  made  by  Wise,  in  England,  in  1803. 

The  first  known  treatise  on  stenography  is  the  curious  and 
scarce  little  work  entitled  "  Arte  of  Shorte,  Swifte,  and  Secrete 
Writing  by  Character,  invented  by  Timothe  Bright,  Doctor  of 
Phisike." 

The  art  of  printing,  according  to  Du  Halde  and  the  mission- 
aries, was  practised  in  China  nearly  fifty  years  before  the  Chris- 
tian Era.  In  the  time  of  Confucius,  B.C.  500,  books  were 
formed  of  slips  of  bamboo ;  and  about  150  years  after  Christ, 
paper  was  first  made;  A^.D.  745,  books  were  bound  into  leaves ; 


ORIGIN  OF  THINGS  FAMILIAB.  363 

A.D.  900,  priDtiog  was  in  general  use.  The  process  of  printing 
is  simple.  The  materials  consist  of  a  graver,  blocks  of  wood, 
and  a  brash,  which  the  printers  carry  with  them  from  place 
to  place.  Without  wheel,  or  wedge,  or  screw,  a  printer  will 
throw  off  more  than  two  thousand  five  hundred  impressions  in 
one  day.  The  paper  (thin)  can  be  bought  for  one-fourth  the 
price  in  China  that  it  can  in  any  other  country.  The  works 
of  Confucius,  six  volumes,  four  hundred  leaves,  octavo,  can  be 
bought  for  twelve  cents. 

Stamps  for  marking  wares,  packages,  &c.  were  in  use  among 
the  Roman  tradesmen ;  and  it  is  highly  probable  that  had  the 
modem  art  of  making  paper  been  known  to  the  ancients,  they 
would  have  diffused  among  themselves,  and  transmitted  to  pos- 
terity, printed  books. 

From  the  early  commercial  intercourse  of  the  Venetians  with 
China,  there  is  reason  to  believe  that  the  knowledge  of  the  art 
and  of  its  application  to  the  multiplying  of  books  was  derived 
from  thence ;  for  Venice  is  the  first  place  in  Europe,  of  which 
we  have  any  account,  in  which  it  was  practised,  a  Government 
decree  respecting  it  having  been  issued  October  11, 1441.  Pre- 
vious to  the  year  1450,  all  printing  had  been  executed  by  means 
of  engraved  blocks  of  wood ;  but  about  this  period,  the  great 
and  accumulating  expense  of  engraving  blocks  for  each  separate 
work  led  to  the  substitution  of  movable  metal  types.  The 
credit  of  this  great  improvement  is  given  to  Peter  Schoeffer,  the 
assistant  and  son-in-law  of  John  Faust,  of  Mentz,  (commonly 
called  Dr.  Faustus.)  The  first  book  printed  with  the  cast  metal 
types  was  the  '^  Mentz  Bible,"  which  was  executed  by  Faust 
and  Guttemberg,  between  the  years  1450  and  1455. 

The  Dutch  claim  to  have  originated  stereotyping.  They 
have,  as  they  say,  a  prayer-book  stereotyped  in  1701.  The  first 
attempt  at  stereotyping  in  America  was  made  in  1775,  by  Benja- 
min Mecom,  a  printer  of  Philadelphia.  He  cast  plates  for  a  num- 
ber of  pages  of  the  New  Testament,  but  never  completed  them. 

The  first  printing-press  in  America  was  established  at  Cam* 
bridge,  Mass.,  in  1639. 


364  ORIGIN  OF  THINGS  FAMILIAR. 

COCK-FIGHTING. 

Themistocles,  marching  against  the  Persians,  beheld  two  game- 
cocks in  the  heat  of  battle,  and  thereupon  pointed  out  to  his 
Athenian  soldiery  their  indomitable  courage.  The  Athenians 
were  victorious;  and  Themistocles  gave  order  that  an  annual 
cock-fight  should  be  held  in  commemoration  of  the  encounter 
they  had  witnessed.  No  record  of  this  sport  occurs  in  England 
before  the  year  1191. 

TURNCOAT. 

The  opprobious  epithet,  turncoat^  took  its  rise  from  one  of 
the  first  dilkes  of  Savoy,  whose  dominions  lying  open  to  the 
incursions  of  the  two  contending  houses  of  Spain  and  France, 
he  was  obliged  to  temporize  and  fall  in  with  that  power  that 
was  most  likely  to  distress  him,  according  to  the  success  of  their 
arms  against  one  another.  So  being  frequently  obliged  to 
change  sides,  he  humorously  got  a  coat  made  that  was  blue  on  one 
side,  and  white  on  the  other,  and  might  be  indifferently  worn 
either  side  out.  While  in  the  Spanish  interest,  he  wore  the 
bhie  side  out,  and  the  white  side  was  the  badge  for  the  French, 
Hence  he  was  called  Emmanuel,  sumamed  the  Turncoat^  by 
way  of  distinguishing  him  from  other  princes  of  the  same 
name  of  that  house. 

INDIA-RUBBER. 

Caoutchouc  was  long  known  before  its  most  valuable  qualities 
were  appreciated.  One  of  the  earliest  notices  of  its  practical 
use  occurs  in  Dr.  Priestly's  Theory  and  Practice  of  Perspective, 
printed  in  1770.  "I  have  seen'*  says  he,  "a  substance  excel- 
lently adapted  to  the  purpose  of  wiping  from  paper  the  marks 
of  a  black  lead-pencil.  It  must,  therefore,  be  of  singular  use 
to  those  who  practice  drawing.  It  is  sold  by  Mr.  Naime, 
mathematical  instrument-maker,  opposite  the  Royal  Exchange. 
He  sells  a  cubical  piece,  of  about  half  an  inch,  for  three  shillings; 
and,  he  says,  it  will  last  several  years.'' 


ORIQIN  OF  THINGS  FAMILIAS.  365 

FRICTION   MATCHES. 

In  1836  the  subject  of  friction  matches  attracted  the  atten- 
tion of  Mr.  L.  C.  Allin,  of  Springfield,  Massachusetts.  At  that 
time  a  clumsy  phosphoric  match,  imported  from  France,  had 
come  into  limited  use  in  the  United  States.  It  was  made  by 
dipping  the  match-stick  first  into  sulphur,  and  then  into  a 
paste  composed  of  chloride  of  potash^  red  lead,  and  loaf  sugar. 
Each  box  of  matches  was  accompanied  by  a  bottle  of  sulphur- 
ic acid,  into  which  every  match  had  to  be  dipped  in  order  to 
light  it.  To  abolish  this  inconvenience,  and  make  a  match 
which  would  light  from  the  friction  caused  by  any  rough  sur- 
face, was  the  task  to  which  young  Allin  applied  himself.  He 
succeeded,  but  took  out  no  patent.  On  being  urged  to  do  so, 
he  found  that  a  patent  had  already  been  obtained  by  one  Phil- 
lips of  Chicopee,  a  peddler,  who  had  probably  picked  up 
through  a  third  party  the  result  of  Mr.  Allin's  study.  Mr. 
Allin's  legal  adviser  thought  that  he  (Allin)  would  do  better 
to  have  the  right  to  manufacture  under  Phillips'  patent  (which 
Phillips  gave  him  without  charge,  in  consideration  of  the 
waiving  of  his  claim,)  than  to  bear  the  expense  of  the  litigation 
which  was  feared  to  be  necessary  to  establish  his  claim.  So  the 
inventor  of  friction  matches  became  simply  a  manufacturer 
under  another  man's  patent. 

THE  FLAG  OF  ENGLAND. 

On  the  12th  of  April,  1606,  the  Union  Jack— that  famous 
ensign — ^first  made  its  appearance.  From  Rymer's  Fcedera^  and 
the  Scottish  Annals  of  Sir  James  Balfour,  we  learn  that  some 
differences  having  arisen  between  ships  of  the  two  countries  at  sea, 
the  king  ordained  that  a  new  flag  be  adopted  with  the  crosses 
of  St.  Andrew  and  St.  George  interlaced,  by  placing  the  latter 
fimbriated  on  the  blue  flag  of  Scotland  as  the  ground  thereof 
This  flag  all  ships  were  to  carry  at  their  main  top ;  but  English 
ships  were  to  display  St.  George's  red  cross  at  their  stem,  and 
the  Scottish  the  white  saltire  of  St.  Andrew. 

81* 


366  ORIGIN  OF  THINGS  FAMILIAR. 

BLUIB-STOGKING. 

It  was  the  fashion  in  London,  in  1781,  for  ladies  to  have 
evening  assemblies,  where  they  might  participate  in  oonversa^ 
tion  with  literary  men.  These  societies  acquired  the  name  of 
Blue- Stocking  Clubs, — ^an  appellation  which  has  been  applied 
to  pedantic  females  ever  since.  It  arose  from  the  custom  of 
Mr.  Stillingfleet,  one  of  the  most  eminent  members,  wearing 
blue  stockings.  Such  was  the  excellence  of  his  conversation, 
and  his  absence  was  so  great  a  loss,  that  it  used  to  be  said, 
"  We  can  do  nothing  without  the  Blue  Stockings;"  and  thus  the 
title  was  gradually  established.  In  Hannah  More's  poem,  Bus 
hleuy  many  of  the  most  conspicuous  members  are  mentioned. 

SKEDADDLE. 

This  word  may  be  easily  traced  to  a  Greek  origin.  The  verb 
<yxedtxyvufii,  of  which  the  root  is  ffxeda,  is  used  freely  by  Thucy- 
dides,  Herodotus,  and  other  Greek  writers,  in  describing  the 
dispersion  of  a  routed  army.  From  the  root  exeda  the  word 
skedaddle  is  formed  by  simply  adding  the  euphonious  termina- 
tion die  and  doubling  the  d,  as  required  by  the  analogy  of  our 
language  in  such  words.  In  many  words  of  undoubted  Greek 
extraction  much  greater  changes  are  made. 

The  Swedes  have  a  similar  word,  skuddadahly  and  the  Danes 
another,  skt/ededeM,  both  of  which  have  the  same  signification. 

An  old  version  of  the  Irish  New  Testament  contains  the 
passage,  "  For  it  is  written,  I  will  smite  the  shepherd,  and  the 
sheep  of  the  flock  shall  be  sgedad  oV*  This  compound  Irish 
word  sgedad  ol  (all  scattered  or  utterly  routed)  was  probably 
used  by  some  Irishman  at  Bull  Bun,  and,  being  regarded  as 
felicitous,  was  at  once  adopted. 

FOOLSCAP   PAPER. 

The  term  of  "  foolscap,"  to  designate  a  certain  size  of  paper, 
no  doubt  has  puzzled  many  an  anxious  inquirer.  It  appears 
that  Charles  I.,  of  England,  granted  numerous  monopolies 
for  the  support  of  the  Government,  among  others  the  manu- 
facture of  paper.     The  water-mark  of  the  finest  sort  was  the 


ORIGIN   OV  THINGS  FAMILIAR.  867 

loyal  anns  of  England.  The  consumption  of  this  article  was 
great^  and  large  fortunes  were  made  by  those  who  purchased 
the  exclusive  right  to  vend  it.  This,  among  other  monopolies, 
was  set  aside  bj  the  Parliament  that  brought  Charles  I.  to  the 
scaffold;  and,  by  way  of  showing  contempt  for  the  King, 
they  ordered  the  royal  arms  to  be  taken  from  the  paper,  and  a 
fool  with  his  cap  and  bells  to  be  substituted.  It  is  now  over 
two  hundred  years  since  the  fool's  cap  was  taken  fix>m  the 
paper,  but  still  the  paper  of  the  size  which  the  Eump 
Parliament  ordered  for  their  joumak  bears  the  name  of  the 
water-mark  placed  there  as  an  indignity  to  King  Charles. 

THE  riRST  FORGED   BANK-NOTE. 

Sixty-four  years  after  the  establishment  of  the  Bank  of 
England,  the  first  forged  note  was  presented  for  payment, 
and  to  Richard  William  Vaughn,  a  Stafford  linen-draper, 
belongs  the  melancholy  celebrity  of  haying  led  the  van  in  this 
new  phase  of  crime,  in  the  year  1758.  The  records  of  his  life 
do  not  show  want,  beggary  or  starvation  urging  him,  but  a 
simple  desire  to  seem  greater  than  he  was.  By  one  of  the 
artists  employed  (and  there  were  several  engaged  on  different 
parts  of  tjie  notes)  the  discovery  was  made.  The  criminal  had 
filled  up  to  the  number  of  twenty  and  deposited  them  in  the 
hands  of  a  young  lady  to  whom  he  was  attached,  as  a  proof  of 
his  wealth.  There  is  no  calculating  how  much  longer  bank-notes 
might  have  been  free  from  imitation  had  this  man  not  shown 
with  what  ease  they  could  be  counterfeited.  From  this  period 
forged  notes  became  common.  His  execution  did  not  deter  others 
from  the  offence,  and  many  a  neck  was  forfeited  to  the  halter 
before  the  late  abolition  of  capital  punishment  for  that  crime. 

THE   FIRST  PIANO-FORTE. 

A  play-bill  of  the  Coven t  Garden  Theatre,  dated  May  16, 
1767,  after  setting  forth  the  performance  of  The  Beggar^ 
Opera^  contains  the  following  notification: — "End  of  Act 
First,  Miss  Brickler  will  sing  a  fisivorite  song  from  Judith, 
accompanied  by  Mr.  Dibdin  on  a  new  instrument  called  Piano- 


368  OBiaiN   OF  THINGS   FAMILIAB. 

Forte."  The  first  manufacturer  is  believed  to  be  a  German 
named  Backers,  as  there  is  still  in  existence  the  name-board 
of  a  piano  inscribed  '^Americus  Backers^  Factor  et  Inventor^ 
Jermyn  Street,  London,  1776." 

THE   FIRST  DOCTORS. 

The  title  of  Doctor  was  invented  in  the  twelfth  century, 
at  the  first  establishment  of  the  universities.  The  first  person 
upon  whom  it  was  conferred  was  Irnerius,  a  learned  Professor 
of  Lawy  at  the  University  of  Bologna.  He  induced  the 
Emperor  Lothaire  II.,  whose  Chancellor  he  was,  to  create  the 
title;  and  he  himself  was  the  first  recipient  of  it.  He  was 
made  Doctor  of  Laws  by  that  university.  Subsequently  the 
title  was  borrowed  by  the  faculty  of  Theology,  and  first  con- 
ferred by  the  University  of  Paris  on  Peter  Lombard,  the 
celebrated  scholastic  theologian.  William  Gordenio  was 
the  first  person  upon  whom  the  title  of  Doctor  of  Medicine 
was  bestowed.  He  received  it  from  the  college  at  Asti,  in 
1329. 

THE   FIRST   THANKSGIVING  PROCLAMATION. 

The  first  proclamation  of  Thanksgiving  Day  that  is  to  be 
found  in  a  printed  form  is  the  one  issued  by  his  Excellency 
Francis  Bernard,  Captain-General  and  Governor-in-Chief 
in  and  over  His  Majesty's  province  of  the  Massachusetts  Bay, 
in  New  England,  and  Yice-Admiral  of  the  same,  in  1767.  It 
is  as  follows : — 

A  Proclamation  for  a  Public  Thakkboiytno. 
As  the  Business  of  the  Year  is  now  drawing  towards  a  Con- 
clusion, we  are  reminded,  according  to  the  laudable  Usage  of 
this  Province,  to  join  together  in  a  grateful  Acknowledgement 
of  the  manifold  Mercies  of  the  Divine  Providence  conferred 
upon  Us  in  the  passing  Tear :  Wherefore,  I  have  thought  fit 
to  appoint,  and  I  do  with  the  advice  of  His  Majesty's  Council 
appoint,  Thursday,  the  Third  Day  of  December  next,  to  be  a 
day  of  public  Thanksgiving,  that  we  may  thereupon  with  one 
Heart  and  Yoice  return  our  most  humble  Thanks  to  Almijrhtv 


OBiaiN   OF  THINGS   FAMILIAR.  369 

God  for  the  gracious  Dispensations  of  His  Providence  since 
the  last  religious  Anniversary  of  this  kind :  and  especially  for 
— ^that  he  has  been  pleased  to  preserve  and  maintain  our  most 
gracious  Sovereign  King  GtEORge  in  Health  and  Wealth,  in 
Peace  and  Honour;  and  to  extend  the  Blessings  of  his  Govern- 
ment to  the  remotest  Part  of  his  Dominions  ', — that  He  hath 
been  pleased  to  bless  and  preserve  our  gracious  Queen  Char- 
lotte, their  Royal  Highnesses  the  Prince  of  Wales,  the 
Princess  Dowager  of  Wales,  and  all  the  Royal  family,  and  by 
the  frequent  Encrease  of  the  Royal  Issue  to  assure  to  us  the 
Continuation  of  the  Blessings  which  we  derive  from  that  illus- 
trious House ; — that  He  hath  been  pleased  to  prosper  the  whole 
British  Empire  by  the  Preservation  of  Peace,  the  Encrease  of 
Trade,  and  the  opening  of  new  Sources  of  National  Wealth ; — 
and  now  particularly  that  he  hath  been  pleased  to  favor  the 
people  of  this  province  with  healthy  and  kindly  Seasons,  and 
to  bless  the  Labour  of  their  Hands  with  a  Sufficiency  of  the 
Produce  of  the  Earth  and  of  the  Sea. 

And  I  do  exhort  all  Ministers  of  the  Gospel,  with  their 
several  Congregations,  within  this  Province,  that  they  assemble 
on  the  said  Day  in  a  Solemn  manner  to  return  their  most 
humble  thanks  to  Almighty  God  for  these  and  all  other  His 
Mercies  vouchsafed  unto  us,  and  to  beseech  Him,  notwith- 
standing our  Unworthiness,  to  continue  his  gracious  Provi- 
dence over  us.  And  I  command  and  enjoin  all  Magistrates 
and  Civil  Officers  to  see  that  the  said  Day  be  observed  as  a  Day 
set  apart  for  religious  worship,  and  that  no  servile  Labour  be 
permitted  thereon. 

Given  at  the  Council  Chamber  in  Boston,  the  Fourth  Day 
of  November,  1767,  in  the  Eighth  Year  of  the  Reign  of  our 
Sovereign  Lord  George  the  Third,  by  the  Grace  of  God,  of 
Great  Britain,  France  and  Ireland,  King,  Defender  of  the 
Faith,  &c.  Fra  Bernard. 

By  his  Excellency's  Command. 

A.  Oliver,  Sec'ri/ 
God  save  the  King. 


370  ORIGIN   OF  THINGS   FAMILIAR. 

THE   FIRST  PRATER  IN   CONGRESS. 

In  Thatcher's  Military  Journal^  under  date  of  December, 
1777,  is  a  note  containing  the  first  prayer  in  Congress,  made 
by  the  Rev.  Jacob  Duch^,  rector  of  Christ  Church,  a  gentle- 
man of  learning  and  eloquence,  who  subsequently  proved 
traitorous  to  the  cause  of  Independence : — 

O  Lord  our  heavenly  Father,  high  and  mighty  King  of 
kings  and  Lord  of  lords,  who  dost  from  thy  throne  behold  all 
the  dwellers  on  earth,  and  reign  est  with  power  supreme  and 
uncontrolled  over  all  the  kingdoms,  empires,  and  governments ; 
look  down  in  mercy,  we  beseech  thee,  on  these  American 
states,  who  have  fled  to  thee  from  the  rod  of  the  oppressor, 
and  thrown  themselves  on  thy  gracious  protection,  desiring  to 
be  henceforth  dependent  only  on  thee;  to  thee  they  have 
appealed  for  the  righteousness  of  their  cause ;  to  thee  do  they 
now  look  up  for  that  countenance  and  support  which  thou 
alone  canst  give;  take  them,  therefore,  heavenly  Father, 
under  thy  nurturing  care ;  give  them  wisdom  in  council,  and 
valor  in  the  field ;  defeat  the  malicious  designs  of  our  cruel 
adversaries;  convince  tkem  of  the  unrighteousness  of  their 
cause ;  and  if  they  still  persist  in  their  sanguinary  purposes, 
0  let  the  voice  of  thine  own  unerring  justice,  sounding  in 
their  hearts,  constrain  them  to  drop  the  weapons  of  war  from 
their  unnerved  hands  in  the  day  of  battle.  Be  thou  present, 
0  God  of  Wisdom,  and  direct  the  counsels  of  this  honorable 
assembly ;  enable  them  to  settle  things  on  the  best  and  surest 
foundation,  that  the  scene  of  blood  may  be  speedily  closed, 
that  order,  harmony,  and  peace  may  be  effectually  restored, 
and  truth  and  justice,  religion  and  piety,  prevail  and  flourish 
amongst  thy  people.  Preserve  the  health  of  their  bodies  and 
the  vigor  of  their  minds ;  shower  down  on  them  and  the  mil- 
lions  they  here  represent,  such  temporal  blessings  as  thou 
seest  expedient  for  them  in  this  world,  and  crown  them  with 
everlasting  glory  in  the  world  to  come.  All  this  we  ask  in  the 
name  and  through  the  merits  of  Jesus  Christ,  thy  Son,  our 
Saviour.    Amen  I 


ORIGIN  OF  THINGS  FAMILIAR.  371 

THE  FIRST  REPORTERS. 

In  Sylvester  OTIaUoran's  History  and  Antiquities  of  Ireland, 
published  in  Dublin  in  1772,  is  the  curious  entry  subjoined. 
Bille,  a  Milesian  king  of  a  portion  of  Spain,  had  a  son  named 
Gollamh,  who  ^^  solicited  his  father  s  permission  to  assist  their 
Phoenician  ancestors,  then  greatly  distressed  by  continual  wars,'* 
and  having  gained  his  consent,  the  passage  describing  the  result 
proceeds  thus : — 

With  a  well-appointed  fleet  of  thirty  ships  and  a  select  num- 
ber of  intrepid  warriors,  he  weighed  anchor  from  the  harbor  of 
Corunna  for  Syria.  It  appears  that  war  was  not  the  sole  busi- 
ness of  this  equipment;  for  in  this  fleet  were  embarked  twelve 
youths  of  uncommon  learning  and  abilities,  who  were  directed 
to  make  remarks  on  whatever  they  found  new,  either  in  as- 
tronomy, navigation,  arts,  sciences,  or  manufactures.  They 
were  to  communicate  their  remarks  and  discoveries  to  each 
other,  and  keep  an  exact  account  of  whatever  was  worthy  of 
notice.     This  took  place  in  the  year  of  the  world,  2650. 

These  twelve  youths  were  reporters,  and  if  this  story  be  true, 
the  profession  constituting  '^  the  fourth  estate"  may  boast  of  an 
ancient  lineage. 

THE  FIRST  EPIGRAM. 

Among  *'  first  things,"  the  following  is  worth  preserving,  as  it 
is  believed  to  be  the  first  epigram  extant  in  the  English  lan- 
guage. It  was  written  by  Sir  Thomas  Wyat,  who  in  some  of 
his  sonnets  did  not  hesitate  to  intimate  his  secret  passion  for 
Anne  Boleyn. 

Of  a  neio  married  student  that  plaid /a»t  or  lo99, 

A  Btudiont  at  his  bok  so  plast, 
That  wealth  he  might  have  wonne. 
From  bok  to  wife  did  flete  in  hast, 
^From  welth  to  wo  to  runne. 
Now  who  hath  plaid  a  featcr  oast, 
Sinoejugling  first  begonne  ? 
In  knitting  of  himself  so/att, 
Himself  he  hath  undone. 


372  ORIGIN   OF  THINGS   PAMILIAB. 

NEWS. 

The  word  news  is  commonly  supposed  to  be  derived  from  the 
adjective  new.  It  is  asserted,  however,  that  its  origin  is  trace- 
able to  a  custom  in  former  times  of  placing  on  the  newspapers 
of  the  day  the  initial  letters  of  the  cardinal  points  of  the  com- 
thus : — 

3Sr 


T^- 


s 

These  letters  were  intended  to  indicate  that  the  paper  contained 
intelligence  from  the  four  quarters  of  the  globe,  but  they  finally 
came  to  assume  the  form  of  the  word  news,  from  which  the 
term  newspaper  is  derived. 

THE   EARLIEST   NEWSPAPERS. 

The  Englishe  Mercuric,  now  in  MS.  in  the  British  Museum, 
has  been  proved  to  be  a  forgery.  The  oldest  regular  newspaper 
published  in  England  was  established  by  Nathaniel  Butter,  in 
1662. 

The  oldest  paper  in  France  was  commenced  by  Theophrastus 
Eenaudot,  in  1632,  during  the  reign  of  Louis  XIII.  It  was 
called  the  Gazette  de  France. 

The  first  Dutch  newspaper,  which  is  still  continued  under 
the  name  of  the  Haarlem  Courant,  is  dated  January  8,  1656. 
It  was  then  called  De  Weeckelycke  Courante  van  Ihiropa,  and 
contained  two  small  folio  pages  of  news. 

The  first  Russian  newspaper  was  published  in  1703.  Peter 
the  Great  not  only  took  part  personally  in  its  editorial  compo- 
sition, but  in  correcting  proofs,  as  appears  from  sheets  still  in 
existence  in  which  are  marks  and  alterations  in  his  own 
hand.  There  are  two  complete  copies  of  the  first  year's  edition 
of  this  paper  in  the  Imperial  Library  at  St.  Petersburg. 

The  first  newspaper  established  in  North  America  was  the 
Boston  News-Letter,  commenced  April  24,  1704.     It  was  half 


ORIGIN   Of  THINGS   FAMILIAR.  373 

a  sheet  of  paper,  twelve  inches  by  eight,  two  columns  on  a 
page.  B.  Green  was  the  printer.  It  survived  till  1776,— 
seventy-two  years.  It  advocated  the  policy  of  the  British 
Government  at  the  commencement  of  the  Kevolution. 

From  a  copy  of  this  paper  printed  in  1769  is  obtained  the 
following  announcement : — 

"  The  bell-cart  will  go  through  Boston,  before  the  end  of  next 
month,  to  collect  rags  for  the  paper-mill  at  Milton,  when  all 
people  that  will  encourage  the  paper-manufactory  may  dispose 
of  their  rags : 

Rags  are  aa  beauties,  which  concealed  lie, 
But  when  in  paper,  how  it  charms  the  eye ! 
Pray  save  your  rags,  new  beauties  it  discover ; 
For  paper  truly,  every  one's  a  lover : 
By  the  pen  and  press  such  knowledge  is  displayed 
As  wouldn't  exist  if  paper  was  not  made. 
Wisdom  of  things  mysterious,  divine. 
Illustriously  doth  on  paper  shine." 

THE   JTIRST  PRINTING   BY   STEAM. 

The  first  printing  by  steam  was  executed  in  the  year  1817, 
by  Bensley  &  Son,  London.  The  first  book  thus  printed  wan 
I)r.  Elliotson's  second  edition  of  Blumenbach's  Physiology. 

THE   FIRST  TELEGRAPHIO    MESSAGE.    . 

Professor  Morse,  having  returned  to  his  native  land  from 
Europe,  proceeded  immediately  to  Washington,  where  he  re- 
newed his  endeavors  to  procure  the  passage  of  the  bill  grant- 
ing the  appropriation  of  thirty  thousand  dollars.  Towards  the 
close  of  the  session  of  1844,  the  House  of  Representatives  took 
it  up  and  passed  it  by  a  large  majority,  and  it  only  remained 
for  the  action  of  the  Senate.  Its  progress  through  this  house, 
as  might  be  supposed,  was  watched  with  the  most  intense  anxi- 
ety by  Professor  Morse.  There  were  only  two  days  before  the 
close  of  the  session,  and  it  was  found,  on  examination  of  the 
calendar,  that  no  less  than  one  hundred  and  forty-three  bills 
had  precedence  to  it.     Professor  Morse  had  nearly  reached  the 

bottom  of  his  purse ;  his  hard-earned  savings  were  almost  spent; 

32 


374  OBIQIN   OF  THINGS  FAMILIAR. 

and,  although  he  had  struggled  on  with  undying  hope  for  many 
years,  it  is  hardly  to  he  wondered  at  that  he  felt  disheartened 
now.  On  the  last  night  of  the  session  he  remained  till  nine 
o'clock,  and  then  left  without  the  slightest  hope  that  the  hill 
would  he  passed.  He  returned  to  his  hotel,  counted  his  money, 
and  found  that  after  paying  his  expenses  to  New  York  he 
would  have  seventy-five  cents  left.  That  night  he  went  to  hed 
sad,  hut  not  without  hope  for  the  future ;  for,  through  all  his 
difficulties  and  trials,  that  never  forsook  him.  The  next  morn- 
ing, as  he  was  going  to  hreakfast,  one  of  the  waiters  informed 
him  that  a  young  lady  was  in  the  parlor  waiting  to  see  him. 
He  went  in  immediately,  and  found  that  the  young  lady  was 
Miss  Ellsworth,  daughter  of  the  Commissioner  of  Patents,  who 
had  been  his  most  steadfast  friend  wliile  in  Washington. 

"  I  come,"  said  she,  *^  to  congratulate  you." 

"  For  what  V*  said  Professor  Morse. 

"On  the  passage  of  your  bill,"  she  replied. 

"  Oh,  no :  you  must  be  mistaken,"  said  he.  "  I  remained  in 
the  Senate  till  a  late  hour  last  night,  and  there  was  no  prospect 
of  its  being  reached." 

"Am  I  the  first^  then,"  she  exclaimed^  joyfully^  '^  to  tell 
you?" 

"  Yes,  if  it  is  really  so." 

"  Well,"  she  continued,  "  father  remained  till  the  adjourn- 
ment, and  heard  it  passed;  and  I  asked  him  if  I  might  not  run 
over  and  tell  you." 

"  Annie,"  said  the  Professor,  his  emotion  almost  choking  his 
utterance,  "  the  first  message  that  is  sent  from  Washington  to 
Baltimore  shall  be  sent  from  you." 

"  Well,"  she  replied,  "  I  will  keep  you  to  your  word." 

While  the  line  was  in  process  of  completion.  Prof.  Morse  was  in 
New  York,  and  upon  receiving  intelligence  that  it  was  in  work- 
ing order,  he  wrote  to  those  in  charge,  telling  them  not  to 
transmit  any  messages  over  it  till  his  arrival.  He  then  set  out 
immediately  for  Washington,  and  on  reaching  that  city  sent  a 
rote  to  Miss  Ellsworth,  informing  her  that  he  was  now  ready 


NOTHING    NEW   UNDER  THE   SUN.  375 

to  fulfill  his  promise^  and  asking  her  what  message  he  should 
send. 

To  this  he  received  the  following  reply  : — 
What  hath  God  wrought! 
Words  that  ought  to  he  written  in  characters  of  living  light. 
The  message  was  twice  repeated,  and  each  time  with  the  great- 
est success.  As  soon  as  the  result  of  the  experiment  was  made 
known,  Governor  Seymour,  of  Connecticut,  afterwards  United 
States  minister  at  St.  Petershurg,  called  upon  Professor  Morse 
and  claimed  the  first  message  for  his  State,  on  the  ground  that 
Miss  Ellsworth  was  a  native  of  Hartford.  We  need  scarcely 
add  that  his  claim  was  admitted ;  and  now,  engraved  in  letters 
of  gold,  it  is  displayed  conspicuously  in  the  archives  of  the 
Historical  Society  of  Connecticut. 


Not1)inB  Neto  ffilntier  tije  Sbnn. 

FORESHADOWINGS  OF  THE   MAGNETIO  TELEGRAPH. 

0  utinam  hsBO  ratio  soribendi  prodeat  van, 
Gaatior  et  citior  properaret  epistola,  nnllas 
Latronam  verita  insidias  fluriosve  morantes : 
Ipse  suiB  Prinoeps  manibus  sibi  conficeret  rem  I 
Not  iobolet  teribarum,  emerai  ex  mquore  nigrOf 
Oon$eeraremu»  ealamum  MoLgneUa  ad  araa  I 

The  Prolunones  Academics  of  Famianus  Strada,  first 
printed  in  1617,  consist  of  a  series  of  essays  upon  Oratoryy 
Philosophy,  and  Poetry,  with  some  admirable  imitations  of 
sundry  Roman  authors,  in  the  style  of  Father  Proufs 
Reliqties.  In  the  imitation  of  Lucretius,  ii.  6,  is  a  descrip- 
tion of  the  loadstone  and  its  power  of  communicating  intelli- 
gence, remarkable  as  foreshadowing  the  modern  method  of 
telegraphic  communication.  The  following  is  a  literal  transla« 
tion  of  the  curious  passage : — 


376  NOTHING    NEW   UNDER   THE   SUN. 

The  LoadstoDo  is  a  wonderful  sort  of  mineral.  Any  articles 
made  of  iron,  like  needles,  if  touched  hy  it,  derive  by  contact 
not  only  peculiar  power,  but  a  certain  property  of  motion  by 
which  they  turn  ever  towards  the  Constellation  of  the  Bear, 
near  the  North  Pole.  By  some  peculiar  correspondency  of  im- 
pulse, any  number  of  needles,  which  may  have  touched  the 
loadstone,  preserve  at  all  times  a  precisely  corresponding  posi- 
tion and  motion.  Thus  it  happens  that  if  one  needle  be  moved 
at  Rome,  any  other,  however  far  apart,  is  bound  by  some  secret 
natural  condition  to  follow  the  same  motion. 

If  you  desire,  therefore,  to  communicate  intelligence  to  a 
distant  friend,  who  cannot  be  reached  by  letter,  take  a  plain, 
round,  flat  disc,  and  upon  its  outer  rim  mark  down  the  letters 
of  the  alphabet.  A,  B,  C,  &c.,  and,  traversing  upon  the  middle 
of  your  disc,  have  a  needle  (which  has  touched  loadstone)  so 
arranged  that  it  may  be  made  to  touch  upon  any  particular  let- 
ter ad  libitum.  Make  a  similar  disc,  the  exact  duplicate  of 
this  first  one,  with  corresponding  letters  on  its  margin,  and 
with  a  revolving  magnetized  needle.  Let  the  friend  you  pro- 
pose corresponding  with  take,  at  his  departure,  one  disc  along 
with  him,  and  let  him  agree  with  you  beforehand  'on  what 
particular  days  and  at  what  particular  hours  he  will  take  obser- 
vation of  the  needle,  to  see  if  it  be  vibrating  and  to  learn  what 
it  marks  on  the  index.  With  this  arrangement  understood  be- 
tween you  both,  if  you  wish  to  hold  a  private  conversation 
with  this  friend,  whom  the  shores  of  some  distant  land  have 
separated  from  you,  turn  your  finger  to  the  disc  and  touch  the 
easy-moving  needle.  Before  you  lie,  marked  upon  the  outer 
edge,  all  the  various  letters :  direct  the  needle  to  such  letters 
as  are  necessary  to  form  the  words  you  want,  touching  a  little 
letter  here  and  there  with  the  needle's  point,  as  it  goes  travers- 
ing round  and  round  the  board,  until  you  throw  together,  one 
by  one,  your  various  ideas.  Lo !  the  wonderful  fidelity  of  cor- 
respondence !  Your  distant  friend  notes  the  revolving  needle 
vibrate  without  apparent  impulse  and  fly  hither  and  thither 
round  the  rim.     He  notes  its  movements,  and  reading,  as  he 


NOTHING   NEW   UNDER   THE   SUN.  377 

follows  its  motion,  the  various  letters  which  make  up  the  words, 
he  perceives  all  that  is  necessary,  and  learns  your  meaning  from 
the  interpreting  needle.  When  he  sees  the  needle  pause^  he, 
in  turn,  in.  like  manner  touches  the  various  letters,  and 
sends  hack  his  answer  to  his  friend.  Oh  that  this  style  of 
writing  were  hrought  into  use,  that  a  friendly  message  might 
travel  quicker  and  safer,  defying  snares  of  robhers  or  delaying 
rivers  I  Would  that  the  prince  himself  would  finish  the  great 
work  with  his  own  hands  !  Then  we  race  of  scribblers,  emer- 
ging from  our  sea  of  ink,  would  lay  the  quill  an  offering  on  the 
altars  of  the  loadstone. 

This  idea  of  Strada  is  based  upon  the  erroneous  impression 
entertained  generally  at  tbe  time  when  he  wrote,  that  magnetio 
power,  when  imparted  by  the  loadstone  to  metallic  articles  like 
needles,  communicated  to  them  a  kind  of  homogeneous  impulse, 
which  of  necessity  caused  between  them  a  sympathetic  corre- 
spondence of  motion. 

The  curious  reader  will  be  further  interested  to  learn  from 
the  following  passage,  extracted  from  the  "  Tour"  of  Arthur 
Young,  the  distinguished  agriculturist,  who  travelled  through 
Ireland  in  1775-78,  that  the  theory  of  electrical  correspondence 
by  means  of  a  wire  was  'practically  illustrated  before  Mr.  Morse 
was  born : — 

In  electricity,  Mons.  Losmond  has  made  a  remarkable  dis- 
covery. You  write  two  or  three  words  on  a  paper;  he  takes  it 
with  him  into  a  room,  and  turns  a  machine  enclosed  in  a  cylin- 
drical case,  at  the  top  of  which  is  an  electrometer,  in  the  shape 
of  a  small  fine  pith  ball.  A  wire  connects  with  a  similar  cylinder 
and  electrometer  in  a  distant  apartment,  and  his  wife,  by  remark- 
ing the  corresponding  motions  of  the  ball,  writes  down  the  words 
they  indicate,  from  which  it  appears  that  he  has  formed  an 
alphabet  of  motions.  As  the  length  of  wire  makes  no  difference 
in  the  effect^  a  correspondence  m,ight  be  carried  on  at  any  dis- 
tance, within  and  without  a  besieged  town,  for  instance,  or 
for  a  purpose  much  more  worthy  and  a  thousand  times  more 

32* 


378  NOTHINQ   NEW   UNDEK  THE  BUN. 

harmless^  between  two  lovers,  prohibited  or  prevented  from  an^ 
better  epistolary  intercoarse. 

A  second  edition  of  Mr.  Young's  Tour  was  published  in 
quarto  in  1794,  and  the  above  extract  may  be  found  on  page 
79,  volume  i. 

THE  FntST  DISCOVERIES   OF  STEAM-POWER. 

The  following  extracts  from  an  address  by  Edward  Everett, 
at  an  agricultural  fair,  embody  facts  the  more  interesting  from 
their  limited  notoriety : — 

I  never  contemplate  the  history  of  navigation  of  the  ocean 
by  steam,  but  it  seems  to  illustrate  to  me  in  the  most  striking 
manner  the  slow  iteps  by  which  a  great  movement  advances 
for  generations,  for  ages,  from  the  first  germ, — ^then,  when 
the  hour  is  come,  the  rapidity  with  which  it  rushes  to  a  final 
consummation.  Providence  offered  this  great  problem  of  navi- 
gating the  ocean  by  steam  to  every  civilized  nation  almost  on 
the  globe.  As  long  ago  as  the  year  1543,  there  was  a  captain 
in  Spain,  who  constructed  a  vessel  of  two  hundred  tons,  and 
propelled  it,  at  Barcelona,  in  the  presence  of  the  Emperor 
Charles  Y.  and  his  court,  by  an  engine,  the  construction  of 
which  he  kept  a  secret.  But  old  documents  tell  us  it  was  a 
monster  caldron  boiler  of  water,  and  that  there  were  two  mo- 
vable wheels  on  the  outside  of  the  vessel.  The  Emperor  was 
satisfied  with  its  operation,  but  the  treasurer  of  the  kingdom  in- 
terposed objections  to  its  introduction.  The  engine  itself  seems 
to  have  sprung  to  a  point  of  perfection  hardly  surpassed  at 
the  present  day,  but  no  encouragement  was  given  to  the  enter- 
prise. Spain  was  not  ripe  for  it ;  the  age  was  not  ripe  for  it ; 
and  the  poor  inventor,  whose  name  was  Blasco  de  Guerere, 
wearied  and  disgusted  at  the  want  of  patronage,  took  the  en- 
gine out  of  the  vessel  and  allowed  the  ship  to  rot  in  the  arsenal, 
and  the  secret  of  bis  machine  was  buried  in  his  grave. 

This  was  in  1543.  A  century  passed  away,  and  Providence 
offered  the  same  problem  to  be  solved  by  France.  In  reference 
to.  this,  we  have  an  extraordinary  account,  and  from  a  source 


NOTHING   NEW   UNDER  THE   SUN.  379 

equally  extraordinary, — from  the  writings  of  a  celebrated  female, 
in  the  middle  of  that  century,  equally  renowned  for  her  beauty, 
for  her  immoralities,  and  for  her  longevity, — for  she  lived  to  be 
one  hundred  and  thirty-four  years  of  age, — the  famous  Marian  de 
FOrme.  There  is  a  letter  from  this  lady,  written  to  one  of  her 
admirers  in  1641,  containing  an  account  of  a  visit  she  made  to  a 
mad-house  in  Paris  in  company  with  the  Marquis  of  Worcester. 
She  goes  on  to  relate,  that  in  company  with  the  marquis,  while 
crossing  the  courtyard  of  that  dismal  establishment,  almost  petri- 
fied with  terror,  and  clinging  to  her  companion,  she  saw  a 
frightful  face  through  the  bars  of  the  building,  and  heard  this 
voice :— "  I  am  not  mad — I  am  not  mad :  I  have  made  a  disco- 
very which  will  enrich  the  kingdom  that  shall  adopt  it."  She 
asked  the  guide  what  it  meant :  he  shrugged  his  shoulders  and 
said,  laughingly,  "  Not  much ;  something  about  the  powers  of 
steam."  Upon  this,  the  lady  laughed  also,  to  think  that  a  man 
should  go  mad  on  such  a  frivolous  subject.  The  guide  went 
on  to  say  that  the  man's  name  was  Solomon  de  Coste ;  that 
he  came  from  Normandy  four  years  before,  and  exhibited  to 
the  king  an  invention  by  which,  by  the  power  of  steam, 
you  could  move  a  carriage,  navigate  the  ocean :  "  in  short, 
if  you  believed  him,"  said  the  guide,  "there  was  nothing 
you  could  not  do  by  the  power  of  steam."  Cardinal  Richelieu, 
who  at  that  time  was  France  itself,  and  who  wielded  the  whole 
power  of  government, — and,  in  truth,  an  enlightened  man,  as 
worldly  wisdom  goes, — was  appealed  to  by  Solomon  de  Coste. 
De  Coste  was  a  persevering  man,  and  he  followed  Cardinal 
Richelieu  from  place  to  place,  exhibiting  his  invention,  until 
the  cardinal,  getting  tired  of  his  importunities,  sent  him  to  the 
mad-house.  The  guide  stated  further  that  he  had  written  a 
book  entitled  Motive  Powery  and  handed  the  visitors  a  copy  of 
it.  The  Marquis  of  Worcester,  who  was  an  inventor,  was  much 
interested  in  the  book,  and  incorporated  a  considerable  portion 
of  it  in  his  well-known  work  called  The  Centurj/  of  Invention. 

It  will  be  seen  from  this  anecdote  how  France  proved  in 
1641,  as  Spain  had  proved  in  1543,  thdt  she  was  unable  to  take 


380  NOTHING   NEW   UNDER  THE   SUN. 

up  and  wield  this  mortal  thunderbolt.  And  so  the  problem  of 
navigating  the  ocean  by  steam  was  reserved  for  the  Anglo-Saxon 
race.  Soon  after  this  period,  the  best  mechanical  skill  of  Eng- 
land was  directed  towards  this  invention.  Experiments  were 
often  made^  with  no  success,  and  sometimes  with  only  partial 
success,  until  the  middle  of  the  last  century,  when  the  seeds 
implanted  in  the  minds  of  ingenious  men  for  two  hundred 
years  germinated,  and  the  steam-engine — that  scarcely  inani- 
mate Titan^  that  living,  burning  mechanism — ^was  brought 
nearly  to  a  state  of  perfection  by  James  Watt,  who  took  out  a 
patent  in  1769, — the  great  year  in  which  Wellington  and  Na- 
poleon were  bom ;  and  ages  after  the  names  of  Austerlitz  and 
Waterloo  shall  perish  from  the  memory  of  man,  the  myriad 
hosts  of  intelligent  labor,  marshalled  by  the  fiery  champions 
that  James  Watt  has  placed  in  the  field,  shall  gain  their  blood- 
less triumph,  not  for  the  destruction  but  for  the  service  of  man- 
kind. All  hail,  then,  to  the  mute,  indefatigable  giant,  in  the 
depths  of  the  darksome  mines,  along  the  pathway  of  travel  and 
trade^  and  on  the  mountain  wave,  that  is  destined  to  drag,  urge, 
heave,  haul,  for  the  service  of  man !  No  fatigue  shall  palsy  its 
herculean  arm,  no  trampled  hosts  shall  writhe  beneath  its  iron 
feet,  no  widow's  heart  shall  bleed  at  its  beneficent  victories. 
England  invented  the  steam-engine ;  but  it  seems  as  if  by  the 
will  of  Providence  she  could  not  go  farther.  Queen  of  the 
seas,  as  she  deemed  herself,  she  could  not  apply  the  invention 
she  had  brought  almost  to  perfection,  and  that  part  of  the  great 
problem,  the  navigation  of  the  ocean  by  steam,  was  reserved  for 
the  other  branch  of  the  Anglo-Saxon  race, — the  branch  situated 
in  a  region  in  this  Western  hemisphere  whose  territory  is  tra- 
versed by  some  of  the  noblest  rivers  that  belt  the  surface  of  the 
globe,  and  separated  by  the  world-wide  ocean  from  the  Eastern 
hemisphere.  It  is  amazing  to  consider  how,  with  the.  dawn  of 
the  Revolution,  the  thoughts  of  men  turned  to  the  application 
of  steam-navigation.  Ilumsey,  Fitch,  and  Evans  made  experi- 
ments, and  those  experiments  attracted  the  notice  of  one  whom 
nothing  escaped  pertaining  to  the  welfare  of  his  country :  I 


NOTHING  NEW  UNDER  THE   SUN.  381 

mean  Washington.  And  we  have  a  certificate  from  him,  ex- 
pressing the  satisfaction  with  which  he  had  witnessed  the  ex- 
periment of  Rumsey.  The  attempt  proved  rather  unsuccessful. 
I  think  it  a  providential  appointment  that  the  ocean  was  not 
navigated  by  steam  in  the  Revolutionary  age.  The  enormous 
preponderance  of  British  capital  and  skill,  if  the  ocean  had 
been  navigated  by  steam,  would  have  put  in  her  possession  faci- 
lities for  blockading  our  ports  and  transporting  armies  to  our 
coasts,  which  might  have  had  a  disastrous  effect  on  the  result 
of  the  whole  contest.  But  the  Revolution  passed  and  inde- 
pendence was  established :  the  hour  had  come,  and  the  man 
was  there. 

In  the  year  1799  this  system  of  steam-navigation  became 
matured  in  the  mind  of  Fulton,  who  found  a  liberal  and  active 
coadjutor  in  Chancellor  Livingston,  who,  in  the  same  year, 
applied  to  the  Legislature  of  New  York  for  an  act  of  incorpora- 
tion. I  am  sorry  to  say  that  America  at  that  moment  could  not 
boast  of  much  keener  perception  of  the  nature  of  this  discovery 
than  France  or  Spain  had  done  before.  Chancellor  Livingston 
at  last  had  a  petition  drawn  up  of  the  act  he  desired  passed.  It 
was  drafted  by  the  young  men  of  the  Legislature,  who,  when 
tired  of  the  graver  matters  of  law,  used  to  call  up  the  "steam 
bill"  that  they  might  have  a  little  fun.  Young  America,  on  that 
occasion,  did  not  show  himself  much  wiser  than  his  senior. 
Nothing  daunted  at  the  coldness  he  received,  nothing  discour- 
aged by  the  partial  success  of  the  first  experiment.  Chan- 
cellor Livingston  persevered.  Twenty  years  elapsed  before 
steamers  were  found  upon  our  lakes  and  rivers,  and  at  that  timo 
such  a  system  of  steam-navigation  was  wholly  unknown,  except 
by  hearsay,  in  Europe.  This  application  of  steam  soon  became 
a  pressing  necessity  in  this  country,  but  twenty  year^  more 
passed  away  before  it  was  adopted  in  England.  I  could  not 
but  think,  when  the  news  of  the  Atlantic  Telegraph  came, 
what  must  have  been  the  emotions  of  Fulton  and  Franklin 
could  they  have  stood  upon  the  quarter-deck  of  the  Niagara 
and  witnessed  the  successful  termination  of  that  electric  com- 
munication which  is  the  result  of  their  united  discoveries  I 


382  NOTHING   NEW  UNDER  THE  SUN. 

JERIAL  NAVIGATION. 

When  air-balloons  were  first  discovered,  some  one  flippantly 
asked  Br.  Franklin  what  was  the  use  of  it.  The  philosopher 
answered  the  question  by  asking  another : — ^'  What  is  the  use 
of  a  new-born  infant  ?     It  may  become  a  man." 

The  first  balloon-ascension  was  made  by  Pilatre  de  Rozier 
and  the  Marqnis  d'Arlandes,  November  21,  1783,  in  a  mont- 
golfi^re. 

A  century  and  a  half  before  thb,  John  Gregorie  wrote, 
^'  The  air  itself  is  not  so  unlike  to  water,  but  that  it  may  be 
demonstrated  to  be  navigable,  and  that  a  ship  may  sail  upon 
the  convexity  thereof  by  the  same  reasons  that  it  is  carried 
upon  the  ocean." 

In  the  firat  number  of  the  Philosophical  Collections,  1679,  is 
''a  demonstration  how  it  is  practically  possible  to  make  a  ship, 
which  shall  be  sustained  by  the  air,  and  may  be  moved  either 
by  sails  or  oars,"  from  a  work  entitled  Prodroma,  published  in 
Italian  by  P.  Francesco  Lana.  The  scheme  was  that  of  making 
a  brazen  vessel  which  should  weigh  less  than  the  air  it  con- 
tained, and  consequently  float  in  the  air  when  that  which  was 
within  it  was  pumped  out.  He  calculated  every  thing— except 
the  pressure  of  the  atmosphere,  in  consequence  of  which  sligJU 
oversight  he  realized  no  practical  result. 

THE  OmOULATION   OP   THE  BLOOD. 

Harvey  discovered  the  circulation  of  the  blood  in  1619 ;  but 
we  learn  from  a  passage  in  Longinus  (ch.  xxii.)  that  the  fact 
was  known  two  thousand  years  before.  The  father  of  critics, 
to  exemplify  and  illustrate  the  use  and  value  of  trape  in  writing, 
has  garbled  from  the  TimsBus  of  Plato  a  number  of  sentences 
descriptive  of  the  anatomy  of  the  human  body,  where  the  circu- 
lation of  the  blood  is  pointed  at  in  terms  singularly  graphic. 
The  exact  extent  of  professional  knowledge  attained  in  the 
time  of  the  great  philosopher  is  by  no  means  clearly  defined. 
He  speaks  of  the  fact,  however,  not  with  a  view  to  prove  what 
was  contested  or  chimerical,  but  avails  himself  of  it  to  figure 


NOTHING  NEW  UNDER  THE  SUN.  383 

the  BurpassiDg  wisdom  of  the  gods  in  conetructing  the  ha- 
man  frame. 

ANJSSTHESIA. 

The  use  of  the  vapor  of  sulphuric  ether  for  the  purpose  of 
induciug  insensihility  to  surgioal  operations  was  first  practically 
adopted  hj  Dr.  Morton,  of  Boston,  in  1846 ;  that  of  chloro- 
form, by  Dr.  Simpson,  of  Edinburgh,  in  1847.  To  this  period 
we  must  assign  the  most  important  epoch  in  the  annals  of  sur- 
gery, and  the  date  of  one  of  the  grandest  discoveries  of 
science  and  one  of  the  greatest  blessings  ever  conferred  upon 
humanity. 

The  idea,  however,  of  saving  the  human  body,  by  artificial 
means,  from  the  pains  and  tortures  inflicted  by  the  knife 
of  the  surgeon,  has  been  by  no  means  either  first  broached  or 
first  acted  upon  in  recent  times.  Intense  pain  is  regarded  by 
mankind  generally  as  so  serious  an  evil  that  it  would  have  been 
strange  indeed  if  efforts  had  not  been  early  made  to  diminish  this 
species  of  suffering.  The  use  of  the  juice  of  the  poppy,  hen- 
bane, mandragora,  and  other  narcotic  preparations,  to  effect 
this  object  by  their  deadening  influence,  may  be  traced  back 
till  it  disappears  in  the  darkness  of  a  remote  antiquity. 

Intoxicating  vapors  were  also  employed,  by  way  of  inhalation, 
to  produce  the  same  effects  as  drugs  of  this  nature  introduced 
into  the  stomach.  This  appears  from  the  account  given  by 
Herodotus  of  the  practice  of  the  Scythians,  several  centuries 
before  Christ,  of  using  the  vapor  of  hemp-seed  as  a  means  of 
drunkenness.  The  known  means  of  stupefaction  were  very 
early  resorted  to  in  order  to  counteract  pain  produced  by  arti- 
ficial causes.  In  executions  under  the  horrible  form  of  cruci- 
fixion, soporific  mixtures  were  administered  to  alleviate  the 
pangs  of  the  victim.  The  draught  of  vinegar  and  gall,  or 
myrrh,  offered  to  the  Saviour  in  his  agony,  was  the  ordinary 
tribute  of  human  sympathy  extorted  from  the  bystander  by 
the  spectacle  of  intolerable  anguish. 

That  some  lethean  anodyne  might  be  found  to  assuage  the 
torment  of  surgical  operations  as  they  were  anciently  performed, 


884  NOTHINQ  NEW  UNDEE  THE   SUN. 

[cauterizing  the  cut  surfaces,  instead  of  tying  the  arteries,]  waa 
not  only  a  favorite  notion,  but  it  had  been  in  some  degree,  how- 
ever imperfect,  reduced  to  practice.  Pliny  the  Naturalist,  who 
perished  in  the  eruption  of  Vesuvius  which  entombed  the  city 
of  Herculaneum  in  the  year  79,  bears  distinct  and  decided 
testimony  to  this  fact. 

In  his  description  of  the  plant  known  as  the  mandragora  or 
circeius,  he  says,  "  It  has  a  soporific  power  on  the  faculties  of 
those  who  drink  it.  The  ordinary  potion  is  half  a  cup.  It  is 
drunk  against  serpents,  and  before  cuttings  and  puncturings, 
lest  they  should  be  felt."  (^Bihitur  et  contra  serpentes,  et  ante 
sectiones,  punctionesque,  ne  sentiantur,') 

When  he  comes  to  speak  of  the  plant  erucay  called  by  us  the 
rocket,  he  informs  us  that  its  seeds,  when  drunk,  infused  in 
wine,  by  criminals  about  to  undergo  the  lash,  produce  a  certain 
callousness  or  induration  of  feeling  (dibaitiam,  quandam  con- 
tra sen  sum  induere), 

Pliny  also  asserts  that  the  stone  Memphitis,  powdered  and 
applied  in  a  liniment  with  vinegar,  will  stupefy  parts  to  be  out 
or  cauterized,  "  for  it  so  paralyzes  the  part  that  it  feels  no 
pain"  (nee  sentit  cruciatuni). 

Dioscorides,  a  Greek  physician  of  Cilicia,  in  Asia,  who  was 
born  about  the  time  of  Pliny's  death,  and  who  wrote  an  exten- 
sive work  on  the  materia  medica,  observes,  in  his  chapter  on 
mandragora, — 

1.  <<  Some  boil  down  the  roots  in  wine  to  a  third  part,  and 
preserve  the  juice  thus  procured,  and  give  one  cyathus  of  it  in 
sleeplessness  and  severe  pains,  of  whatever  part ;  also  to  cause 
the  insensibility — to  produce  the  anaesthesia  [  -kouiv  mfatffdyiffi(Df\ 
— of  those  who  are  to  be  cut  or  cauterized/' 

2.  <'  There  is  prepared,  also,  besides  the  decoction,  a  wine 
from  the  bark  of  the  root,  three  minse  being  thrown  into  a 
cask  of  sweet  wine,  and  of  this  three  cyathi  are  given  to  those 
toho  are  to  be  cut  or  cauterized, as  aforesaid;  for,  being  thrown 
into  a  deep  sleep,  they  do  not  perceive  pain.'* 

3.  SpeiJcing  of  another  variety  of  mandragora,  called  martonf 


NOTHING  NEW  UNDER  THE  SUN.  385 

he  observes,  '<  Medical  men  use  it  also  for  those  who  are  to  be 
cut  or  cauterized." 

Dioscorides  also  describes  the  stone  Memphitis,  mentioned  by 
Pliny,  and  says  that  when  it  is  powdered  and  applied  to  parts 
to  be  cut  or  cauterized,  they  are  rendered,  without  the  slightest 
danger,  wholly  insensible  to  pain.  Matthiolus,  the  commen- 
tator on  Dioscorides,  confirms  his  statement  of  the  virtues  of 
mandragora,  which  is  repeated  by  Dodoneus.  ^^  Wine  in  which 
the  roots  of  mandragora  have  been  steeped/'  says  this  latter 
writer,  ^^  brings  on  sleep,  and  appeases  all  pains,  so  that  it  is 
given  to  those  who  are  to  be  cut,  sawed,  or  burned  in  any 
parts  of  their  body,  that  they  may  not  perceive  pain." 

The  expressions  used  by  Apuleius  of  Madaura,  who  flour- 
ished about  a  century  after  Pliny,  are  still  more  remarkable 
than  those  already  quoted  from  the  older  authors.  He  says, 
when  treating  of  mandragora,  **  If  any  one  is  to  have  a  mem- 
ber mutilated,  burned,  or  sawed,  [mutilandum,  comburendum^ 
vel  serrandum,']  let  him  drink  half  an  ounce  with  wine,  and 
let  him  sleep  till  the  memher  is  cut  away  without  any  pain  or 
sensation  [et  tantum  dormiety  quosque  abscindatur  memhrum 
aliquo  sin^  dolore  et  sensu]." 

It  was  not  in  Europe  and  in  Western  Asia  alone  that  these 
early  efforts  to  discover  some  lethean  were  made,  and  attended 
with  partial  success.  On  the  opposite  side  of  the  continent, 
the  Chinese — who  have  anticipated  the  Europeans  in  so  many 
important  inventions,  as  in  gunpowder,  the  mariner's  compass, 
printing,  lithography,  paper  money,  and  the  use  of  coal — seem 
to  have  been  quite  as  far  in  advance  of  the  Occidental  world  in 
medical  science.  They  understood,  ages  before  they  were  in- 
troduced into  Christendom,  the  use  of  substances  containing 
iodine  for  the  cure  of  the  goitre,  and  employed  spurred  rye 
(ergot)  to  shorten  dangerously- prolonged  labor  in  difficult  ac- 
couchements.  Among  the  therapeutic  methods  confirmed  by 
the  experience  of  thousands  of  years,  the  records  of  which  they 
have  preserved  with  religious  veneration,  the  employment  of  an 
ansesthetic  agent  to  paralyze  the  nervous  sensibility  before  per- 
Z  33 


386  NOTHING   NEW   UNDER  THE   SUN. 

forming  surgical  opcratioDS,  is  distinctly  set  forth.     Among  a  A 

considerable  number  of  Chinese  works  on  the  pharmacopooia, 
medicine,  and  surgery,  in  the  National  Library  at  Paris,  is  one  ] 

entitled  Kou-kin-i-fong,  or  general  collection  of  ancient  and 
modern  medicine,  in  fifty  volumes  quarto.  Several  hundred 
biographical  notices  of  the  most  distinguished  physicians  in 
China  are  prefixed  to  this  work.  The  following  curious  pass- 
ages occur  in  the  sketches  of  the  biography  of  Iloa'tlio,  who 
flourished  under  the  dynasty  of  Wei,  between  the  years  220 
and  230  of  our  era.  "  When  he  determined  that  it  was  neces- 
sary to  employ  acupuncture,  he  employed  it  in  two  or  three 
places;  and  so  with  the  moxa  if  that  was  indicated  by  the 
nature  of  the  affection  to  be  treated.  But  if  the  disease  re- 
sided in  parts  upon  which  the  needle,  moxa,  or  liquid  medica- 
ments could  not  operate, — for  exunr-'e  in  the  bones,  or  the  mar- 
row of  the  bones,  in  the  stomach  or  the  intestines, — he  gave  the 
patient  a  preparation  of  hemp,  (in  the  Chinese  language  mayo,) 
and  after  a  few  moments  he  became  as  insensible  as  if  he  had 
been  drunk  or  dead.  Then,  as  the  case  required,  he  performed 
operations,  incisions,  or  amputations,  and  removed  the  cause  of 
the  malady ;  then  he  brought  together  and  secured  the  tissues, 
and  applied  liniments.  Afler  a  certain  number  of  days,  the 
patient  recovered,  without  having  experienced  (he  slightest  pain 
during  the  operation." 

Almost  a  thousand  years  after  the  date  of  the  unmistakable 
phrases  quoted  from  Apuleius,  according  to  the  testimony  of 
William  of  Tyre,  and  other  chroniclers  of  the  wars  for  the 
rescue  of  the  holy  sepulchre,  and  the  fascinating  narrative  of 
Marco  Polo,  a  state  of  anaesthesia  was  induced  for  very  different 
purposes.  It  became  an  instrument  in  the  hands  of  bold  and 
crafty  impostors  to  perpetuate  and  extend  the  most  terrible 
fanaticism  that  the  world  has  ever  seen. 

The  employment  of  anaesthetic  agents  in  surgical  operations 
was  not  forgotten  or  abandoned  during  the  period  when  they 
were  pressed  into  the  appalling  service  just  described.  In  the 
thirteenth  century,  anaesthesia  was  produced  by  inhalation  ot 


NOTHING   NEW   UNDER  THE  SUN.  387 

an  anodyne  yapor,  in  a  mode  oddly  forestalling  the  practices 
of  the  present  day,  which  is  described  as  follows  in  the  surgical 
treatise  of  Theodorio,  who  died  in  1298.  It  is  the  receipt  for 
the  '*  spongia  somnifera/'  as  it  is  called  in  the  rubric : — 

*^  The  preparation  of  a  scent  for  performing  surgical  opera- 
tionsy  according  to  Master  Hugo.  It  is  made  thus : — Take  of 
opium  and  the  juice  of  unripe  mulberry,  of  hyoscyamus,  of  the 
juice  of  the  hemlock,  of  the  juice  of  the  leaves  of  the  mandra- 
gora,  of  the  juice  of  the  woody  ivy,  of  the  juice  of  the  forest 
mulberry,  of  the  seeds  of  lettuce,  of  the  seed  of  the  burdock, 
which  has  large  and  round  apples,  and  of  the  water-hemlock, 
each  one  ounce ;  mix  the  whole  of  these  together  in  a  brazen 
vessel,  and  then  place  a  new  sponge  in  it,  and  let  the  whole 
boil,  and  as  long  as  the  sun  on  the  dog-days,  till  it  (the  sponge) 
consumes  it  all,  and  let  it  be  boiled  away  in  it.  As  often  as 
there  is  need  of  it,  place  this  same  sponge  in  warm  water  for  one 
hour,  and  let  it  be  applied  to  the  nostrils  till  he  who  is  to  be 
operated  on  (^qui  incidentus  est)  has  fallen  asleep ;  and  in  this 
state  let  the  operation  be  performed  (et  sic  fat  chirurgid). 
When  this  is  finished,  in  order  to  rouse  him,  place  another, 
dipped  in  vinegar,  frequently  to  his  nose,  or  let  the  juice  of  the 
roots  of  fenigreek  be  squirted  into  his  nostrils.  Presently  he 
awakens." 

Subsequent  to  Thcodoric's  time,  we  find  many  interesting 
and  suggestive  observations  in  the  writings  of  Baptista  Porta, 
Chamappe,  Meissner,  Dauriol,  Haller,  and  Blandin.  About 
half  a  century  ago.  Sir  Humphry  Davy  thus  hinted  at  the 
possibility  that  a  pain-subduing  gas  might  be  inhaled : — "  As 
nitrous  oxidcj  in  its  extensive  operation,  appears  capable  of 
destroying  physical  pain,  it  may  probably  be  used  with  advan- 
tage during  surgical  operations  in  which  no  great  effusion  of 
blood  takes  place."  Baron  Larrey,  Napoleon's  surgeon,  after 
the  battle  of  Eyiau,  found  a  remarkable  insensibility  in  the 
wounded  who  suffered  amputations,  owing  to  the  intense  cold. 
This  fact  afterwards  led  to  the  application  of  ice  as  a  local  an- 
aesthetic. 


388  NOTHING  NEW  UNDER  THE  SUN. 

The  former  general  belief  that  a  degree  of  anaesthetic  and 
prolonged  sleep  could  be  induced  artificially  by  certain  medi- 
cated potions  and  preparations  is  also  shown  by  the  frequency 
with  which  the  idea  is  alluded  to  by  the  older  poets  and  story- 
tellers, and  made  part  of  the  machinery  in  the  popular  romance 
and  drama.  In  the  history  of  Taliesin,  (one  of  the  antique 
Welsh  tales  contained  in  the  Mabinogion,)  Khun  is  described  as 
having  put  the  maid  of  the  wife  of  Elphin  into  a  deep  sleep 
with  a  powder  put  into  her  drink,  and  as  having  cut  off  one  of 
her  fingers  when  she  was  in  this  case  of  artificial  anaesthesia. 
Shakspeare,  besides  alluding  more  than  once  to  the  soporific  pro- 
perty of  mandragora,  describes  with  graphic  power  in  Romeo 
and  Juliet,  and  in  Cymbeline,  the  imagined  effects  of  subtle 
distilled  potions  supposed  capable  of  inducing,  without  danger, 
a  prolonged  state  of  death-like  sleep  or  lethargy.  And  Thomas 
Middleton,  in  his  tragedy  of  Women  beware  Women,  published 
in  1657,  pointedly  and  directly  alludes  in  the  following  lines,  to 
the  practice  of  anaesthesia  in  ancient  surgery : — 

Hippolito,    Yes,  my  lord, 
I  make  no  doubt,  as  I  shall  take  the  oourse. 
Which  she  shall  oever  know  till  it  be  acted ; 
And  when  she  wakes  to  honor,  then  she'll  thank  me  for't. 
ni  imitate  the  pities  of  old  sargeont 
To  this  lost  limb;  trAo,  ere  they  show  their  aft, 
Coat  one  asleep,  then  cut  the  diseased  part; 
So  out  of  love  to  her  I  pity  most. 
She  shall  not  feel  him  going  till  he's  lost ; 
Then  she'll  commend  the  care. — Act  iy.  So.  1. 

The  following  curious  lines  from  Du  Bartas,  translated  by 
Joshua  Sylvester  (?)  are  also  well  worth  transcribing  in  this 
connection. 

Du  Bartas  died  about  the  year  1590 : — 

Even  as  a  Surgeon  minding  off-to-cut 
Som  cureless  limb ;  before  in  use  he  put 
His  violent  Engins  on  the  vicious  member, 
Bringeth  his  Patient  in  a  senseless  slumber: 
And  griefless  then  (guided  by  Use  and  Art) 
To  save  the  whole  saws  off  th'  infested  part. 


NOTHING  NEW  UNDER  THE  SUN.  389 

Bo  Qod  empal'd  oar  Grandsire's  (Adam)  lively  look, 
Throagh  all  his  bones  a  deadly  ohilness  strook, 
Siel'd-up  his  sparkling  eyes  with  Iron  bands. 
Led  down  his  feet  (almost)  to  Lethe's  sands ; 
In  briefe,  so  numm'd  his  Soule's  and  Bodie's  sense, 
That  (without  pain)  opening  his  side,  from  thenoe 
He  took  a  rib,  which  rarely  He  refin'd, 
And  thereof  made  the  Mother  of  Mankind. 

The  history  of  anaesthetics  is  a  remarkable  illustration  of  the 
acknowledged  fact  that  science  has  sometimes,  for  a  long  season, 
altogether  lost  sight  of  great  practical  thoughts,  from  being 
unprovided  with  proper  means  and  instruments  for  carrying  out 
those  thoughts  into  practical  execution ;  and  hence  it  ever  and 
anon  occurs  that  a  supposed  modem  discovery  is  only  the  re- 
discovery of  a  principle  already  sufficiently  known  to  other 
ages,  or  to  remote  nations. 

THE  BOOMERANG. 

The  following  paragraph  in  Pliny's  Natural  History^  xxiv.  72, 
apparently  refers  to  the  Boomerang,  with  which,  according  to 
recent  discoveries,  the  early  people  of  the  East  were  acquainted. 
See  Bonomi's  Nineveh^  p.  136.  Pliny,  speaking  of  the  account 
given  by  Pythagoras  of  the  Aqui/olia,  either  the  holm-oak  or 
the  holly,  says : — 

Bacnlnm  ex  eft,  factum,  in  quodvis  animal  emissum,  etiamsi  citra 
oeoiderit  defectu  mittentis,  ipsum  per  sese  cubitu  proprius  adlabij  tarn 
prsBcipuam  naturam  inesse  arbori. 

(If  a  steff  made  of  this  wood,  when  thrown  at  any  animal,  from  want 
of  strength  in  the  party  throwing  it,  happens  to  fall  short  of  the  mark,  it 
will  fall  back  again  towards  the  thrower  of  its  own  accord— flo  remarkable 
are  the  properties  of  this  tree.) 

The  readings  of  the  passage  vary,  cvMu  being  ^ven  in  some 
MSS.  for  recaUtu,  Pythagoras  probably  heard  of  the  haculum 
during  his  travels  eastward,  and  being  unable  to  understand  how 
its  formation  could  endow  it  with  the  singular  property  referred 
to,  was  induced  to  believe  that  this  peculiarity  waa  owing  to 
the  nature  of  the  tree. 

33* 


390  NOTHING  NEW  UNDER  THE  SUN. 

THE  ATTRACTION   OP   GRAVITATXON. 

Both  Dante  and  Shakspeare  preceded  Newton  in  knowledge 
of  the  principle,  if  not  the  law,  of  gravitation.  In  their  an- 
ticipation of  its  discovery,  the  poets  may  not  have  deemed  it 
other  than  a  philosophic  or  poetic  speculation.  But  the  follow- 
ing passages  attest  earlier  observations  of  a  physical  law  than 
those  of  Pascal  or  Newton. 

Shakspeare  says  in  Troilus  and  Cressida: — 

But  the  strong  base  and  building  of  my  love 
Is  as  the  very  centre  of  the  earth 
Drawing  all  things  to  it. —  iT.  2. 
and 

True  as  earth  to  its  centre. — ^iii.  2. 

Three  centuries  before  Shakspeare,  Dante  said  in  the  Infer- 
no:— 

Thou  dost  imagine  we  are  still 

On  the  other  side  the  central  point,  where  I 

Clasped  the  earth-piercing  worm,  fell  cause  of  ill. 

So  far  as  I  continued  to  descend, 

That'side  we  kept;  but  when  I  turned,  then  we 

Had  passed  the  point  to  tohich  all  bodies  tend. 

Canto  xxziT.  106-111. 

EARLY   INVENTION  OP  RIFLING. 

In  Sir  Hugh  Plat's  Jewel-House  of  Art  and  Nature,  1653, 
(1st  edition  1594)  the  17th  article  runs  thus: — 

ffow  to  make  a  Pistol^  whose  Barrel  is  2  Foot  in  Lengthy  to 
deliver  a  BuUet  point  blank  at  Eightscore, 

A  pistol  of  the  aforesaid  length,  and  being  of  the  petronel 
bore,  or  a  bore  higher,  having  eight  gutters  somewhat  deep  in 
the  inside  of  the  barrel,  and  the  bullet  a  thought  bigger  than 
the  bore,  and  so  rammed  in  at  the  first  three  or  four  inches  at 
the  least,  and  after  driven  down  with  the  scouring  stick,  will 
deliver  his  bullet  at  such  distance.  This  I  had  of  an  English 
gentleman  of  good  note  for  an  approved  experiment. 


NOTHING   NEW    UNDER   THE   SUN.  391 

TABliE-MOVING  AND  ALPHABET-RAPPING   IN   THE   FOURTH 
CENTURY. 

The  following  remarkable  narration  is  the  confession  of  a 
conspirator  named  Hilarius,  who  was  accused  of  resorting  to 
unlawful  arts  for  the  purpose  of  discovering  who  should  be  the 
successor  to  the  Roman  Emperor  Valens,  who  died  a.d.  878. 
We  are  told  by  Ammianus  Marcellinus,  a  contemporary  histo- 
rian, that,  while  under  torture,  he  thus  addressed  his  judges : — 

With  direful  rites,  0  august  judges,  we  prepared  this  un- 
fortunate  little  table,  which  you  see,  of  laurel  branches,  in  imi- 
tation of  the  Delphic  cortina,  (or  tripod,)  and  when  it  had  been 
duly  consecrated  by  imprecation  of  secret  charms  and  many 
long  and  choric  ceremonies,  we  at  Ienpi;h  moved  it.  The 
method  of  moving  it,  when  it  was  consulted  on  secret  matters, 
was  as  follows  :  It  was  placed  in  the  midst  of  a  house  purified 
with  Arabian  odors ;  upon  it  was  placed  a  round  dish,  made  of 
various  metallic  substances,  which  had  the  twenty-four  letters 
of  the  alphabet  curiously  engraved  round  the  rim,  at  accurately- 
measured  distances  from  each  other.  One  clothed  with  linen 
garments,  carrying  branches  of  a  sacred  tree,  and  having,  by 
charms  framed  for  the  purpose,  propitiated  the  deity  who  is  the 
giver  of  prescience,  places  other  lesser  cortinao  on  this  larger 
one,  with  ceremonial  skill.  He  holds  over  them  a  ring  which 
has  been  subjected  to  some  mysterious  preparation,  and  which 
is  suspended  by  a  very  fine  Carpathian  thread.  This  ring, 
passing  over  the  intervals,  and  falling  on  one  letter  after  the 
other,  spells  out  heroic  verses  pertinent  to  the  questions  asked. 
We  then  thus  inquired  who  should  succeed  to  the  government 
of  the  empire.  The  leaping  ring  had  indicated  two  syllables, 
(The-od  ;)  and  on  the  addition  of  the  last  letter  one  of  the  per- 
sons present  cried  out,  "  Theodorus." 

Theodoras,  and  many  others,  were  executed  for  their  share 
in  this  dark  transaction,  (see  Gibbon;)  but  Theodosius  the 
Great  finally  succeeded  to  the  empire,  and  was,  of  course,  sup- 
posed to  be  the  person  indicated  by  the  magic  rites.  The 
above  literal  translation  is  given  by  the  learned  Dr.  Maitlaud 


392  NOXniNQ  NEW   UNDER  THE   SUN. 

in  a  little  book,  lately  published,  E^ay  an  False  Worship^ 
London,  1856.  The  original  was  hardly  intelligible,  till  light 
had  been  thrown  on  it  by  recent  practices,  of  which  we  have  all 
heard  so  much.  The  coincidence  is,  to  say  the  least,  extraordi- 
nary, and  opens  views  which  are  briefly  considered  in  the 
above-mentioned  work. 

AUSCULTATION   AND   PERCUSSION. 

Laennee  invented  the  stethoscope  and  perfected  his  dis- 
coveries in  the  physical  diagnosis  of  the  diseases  of  the  heart 
and  lungs,  in  1816. 

Avenbrugger  published  his  work  on  Percussion  in  1761. 

One  hundred  and  fifty  years  before  Laennec's  suddenly  con- 
ceived act  of  applying  a  roll  of  paper  to  the  breast  of  a  female 
patient  gave  birth  to  thoracfc  acoustics,  that  ingenious  and 
philosophic  man,  Robert  Hooke,  said  in  his  writings  : — 

"There  may  be  a  possibility  of  discovering  the  internal 
motions  and  actions  of  bodies  by  the  sound  they  make.  Who 
knows,  but  that  as  in  a  watch  we  may  hear  the  beating  of  the 
balance,  and  the  running  of  the  wheels,  and  the  striking  of 
the  hammerS;  and  the  grating  of  the  teeth,  and  a  multitude  of 
other  noises, — who  knows,  I  say,  but  that  it  may  be  possible  to 
discover  the  motions  of  internal  parts  of  bodies,  whether  ani- 
mal, vegetable,  or  mineral,  by  the  sounds  they  make  ? — ^that  one 
may  discover  the  works  performed  in  the  several  offices  and 
shops  of  a  man's  body,  and  thereby  discover  what  engine  is  out 
of  order,  what  works  are  going  on  at  several  times  and  lie  still 
at  others,  and  the  like?  I  have  this  encouragement  not  to 
think  all  these  things  impo3sible,  though  never  so  much  de- 
rided by  the  generality  of  men,  and  never  so  seemingly  mad, 
foolish,  and  fantastic,  that  as  the  thinking  them  impossible 
cannot  much  improve  my  knowledge,  so  the  believing  them 
possible  may  perhaps  be  an  occasion  for  taking  notice  of  such 
things  as  another  would  pass  by  without  regard  as  useless,  and 
somewhat  more  of  encouragement  I  have  from  experience  that 
I  have  been  able  to  hear  very  plainly  the  beating  of  a  man's 


NOTHING    NEW    UNDER   THE   SUN.  393 

heart;  and  it  is  oommon  to  hear  the  motion  of  the  wind  to  and 
fro  in  the  intestines ;  the  stopping  of  the  lungs  is  easily  dis- 
covered by  the  wheezing.  As  to  the  motion  of  the  parts  one 
among  the  other^  to  their  becoming  sensible  they  require 
either  that  their  motions  be  increased  or  that  the  organ  (the 
ear)  be  made  more  nice  and  powerful,  to  sensate  and  distin- 
guish them  as  they  are ;  for  the  doing  of  both  which  I  think 
it  is  not  impossible  but  that  in  many  cases  there  may  be  helps 
found." 

THE   stereoscope. 

Sir  David  Brewster,  inquiring  into  the  history  of  the  ste- 
reoscope, finds  that  its  fundamental  principle  was  well  known 
even  to  Euclid ;  that  it  was  distinctly  described  by  Galen  fifteen 
hundred  years  ago;  and  that  Giambattista  Porta  had,  in  1599, 
given  such  a  complete  drawing  of  the  two  separate  pictures  as 
seen  by  each  eye,  and  of  the  combined  picture  placed  between 
them,  that  we  recognize  in  it  not  only  the  principle,  but  the 
construction,  of  the  stereoscope. 

PREDICTIONS   OF   THE   DISCOVERY   OF   AMERICA. 

Seneca,  in  his  Medea,  Act  ii,  thus  shadowed  forth  this  event 
fifteen  centuries  before  its  occurrence : — 

Venient  annis  Saecula  seris, 
Qaibns  Oceanus  yincula  remm 
Laxet,  et  ingens  pateat  Tellus, 
Tiphjsque  novos  detegat  orbes ; 
Neo  sit  terris  Ultima  Thale. 

(After  the  lapse  of  years,  ages  will  oome  in  which  Ocean  shall  relax  hii 
chains  around  the  world,  and  a  vast  continent  shall  appear,  and  Tiphys— 
the  pilot — shall  explore  new  regions,  and  Thule  shall  be  no  longer  the 
utmost  verge  of  the  earth.) 

"A  prediction,"  says  the  commentator,  "of  the  Spanish 
discovery  of  America." 

Before  Seneca's  lines  were  written,  Plato  had  narrated  the 
Egyptian  legend  that,  engulfed  in  the  ocean,  but  sometimes 
visible,  was  the  island  of  Atalantis,  supposed  to  m'^^n  the 
Western  world. 


394  NOTHING   NEW   UNDER   THE   SUN. 

Pulci,  the  friend  of  Lorenzo  de  Medici,  in  his  Morgante 
Maggiore^  written  hefore  the  voyage  of  Columbus  and  before 
the  physical  discoveries  of  Galileo  and  Copernicus,  introduces 
this  remarkable  prophecy ;  (alluding  to  the  vulgar  belief  that 
the  Columns  of  Hercules  were  the  limits  of  the  earth.) 

Know  that  this  theory  is  false :  his  bark 

The  daring  mariner  shall  urge  far  o'er 

The  western  wave,  a  smooth  and  level  plain, 

Albeit  the  earth  is  fashioned  like  a  wheel. 

Man  was  in  ancient  days  of  grosser  moald, 

And  Hercules  might  blush  to  learn  how  far 

Beyond  the  limits  he  had  vainly  set, 

The  dullest  sea-boat  soon  shall  wing  her  way. 

Men  shall  descry  another  hemisphere ; 

Since  to  one  common  centre  all  things  tend. 

So  earth,  by  curious  mystery  divine, 

Well  balanced  hangs  amid  the  starry  spheres. 

At  our  antipodes  are  cities,  states. 

And  thronged  empires,  ne'er  divined  of  yore. 

But  see,  the  sun  speeds  on  his  western  path 

To  glad  the  nations  with  expected  light. 

Dante,  two  centuries  before,  put  this  language  into  the 

mouth  of  Ulysses : — 

The  broad  Atlantic  first  my  koel  impressed, 

I  saw  the  sinking  barriers  of  the  west. 

And  boldly  thus  addressed  my  hardy  crew  :— 

While  yet  your  blood  is  warm,  my  gallant  train, 

Explore  with  me  the  perils  of  the  main 

And  find  new  worlds  unknown  to  mortal  view. 

Inferno,  Canto  26. 

He  then  proceeds  to  mention  the  discovery  of  a  mountainous 
island,  after  five  months'  sailing. 

The  probability  of  a  short  western  passage  to  India  is  men- 
tioned by  Aristotle,  De  Coelo^  ii.,  a  view  confirmed  in  stronger 
terms  afterwards  by  Edrisi,  the  Arabian  geographer,  Strabo, 
Francis  Bacon,  Cardinal  de  Alliaco  (Imago  Mundt),  and  Tos- 
canelli. 


TBIUHPHS  OF  INGENUITY.  395 


tSxinxttfiii^  of  Sngenuits. 

Though  there  were  many  giantt  of  old  in  physic  and  philoaophyy  yet  laay, 
with  Didacue  Stella,  "  A  dwarf  standing  on  the  shoulders  of  a  giant  may  see 
farther  than  a  giant  himself." — Burton,  Anat.  of  Melancholy, 

THE   DISCOVERY   OP  THE   PLANET   NEPTUNE. 

In  his  solitary  study  sat  a  young  man^  pale  and  thoughtful. 
His  eyes  were  fixed  upon  myriads  of  numerals,  through  whose 
complexity  his  far-reaching  mind  saw  into  the  untold  mysteries 
of  the  solar  universe.  His  glass  was  not  pointed  to  the  hea- 
venS;  his  eyes  looked  not  out  upon  the  stars,  hut  his  soul,  in 
deep  ahstraction,  pondered  oyer  the  perturbations  of  Uranus,  aa 
noted  for .  many  a  year  before  by  many  a  casual  observer.  He 
measured  the  intensity  and  the  direction  of  the  disturbing 
forces,  questioned  the  planet  that  was  seen  and  known  con- 
cerning the  unknown  cause  of  its  irregularities,  and  compelled 
a  star,  itself  beyond  the  reach  of  the  common  eye,  to  tell  of  the 
whereabouts,  the  volume,  the  orbit,  of  its  fellow,  which  no  eye, 
even  through  an  optic-glass,  had  ever  yet  seen,  and  whose  very 
existence  then  came  for  the  first  time  upon  the  mental  vision 
of  the  youthful  sage  through  the  power  of  numerical  calcula- 
tion. His  was  a  faith.  It  was  the  evidence  of  things  not  seen. 
But  it  was  like  that  higher  and  better  faith  of  which  spake  the 
great  Apostle  of  the  Gentiles, — fast  and  sure.  Full  of  his  dis- 
covery, Le  Verrier  offered  his  conclusions  to  the  Academy ;  but 
learned  men,  when  assembled  in  bodies,  give  to  enthusiasts  but 
a  cold  reception.  Le  Verrier,  sure  of  his  position,  then  wrote  to 
Dr.  Galle,  the  Astronomer-Royal  in  Berlin,  asking  him  to  point 
his  powerful  glass  to  a  certain  quarter  of  the  heavens,  where  must 
be  found  at  that  time  the  last  of  the  planets.  And  there  it  was; 
and  thence  it  was  traced  upon  its  mighty  way,  bending,  like 


396  TRIUMPHS   OP   INGENUITY. 

its  fellows,  to  the  distant  influence  of  its  great  centre,  the  sun. 
There  is  something  almost  affecting  in  the  thought  that  Le 
Yerrier  should  have  been  denied  the  first  direct  sight  of  the 
sublime  star  towards  which  his  soul  had  been  so  long  leaning 
and  which  had  so  long  been  within  his  mental  vision.  It  was, 
however,  a  fortunate  loss,  since  his  adversaries  would  have 
charged  him  with  having  found  by  chance  what  he  detected 
by  reason,  and  thus  have  placed  in  a  common  category  one  of 
the  most  magnificent  discoveries  of  modern  times,  a  beautiful 
illustration  of  the  gigantic  power  of  calculation. 

The  distance  of  Neptune  from  the  sun  is  2,810,000,000 
miles,  and  the  time  required  for  its  orbital  revolution,  164 
vears.     Its  diameter  is  41,500  miles. 

THE   DISCOVERY   OP   THE   PLANET   VULCAN. 

Levcrrier,  encouraged  and  made  illustrious  by  his  success  in 
exploring  those  infinite  spaces  beyond  the  orbit  of  Herschel, 
turned  his  attention  to  the  innermost  circles — the  central  region 
of  our  solar  system.  By  theoretical  demonstrations,  based  on 
irregularities  in  the  movements  of  Mercury,  he  proved  the 
existence  of  some  planet  or  planets  lying  still  more  closely 
within  the  light  and  heat  of  the  sun.  While  proceeding  with 
his  calculations,  he  received  a  letter  from  Lescarbciult — a  poor 
physician  of  Org^res,  a  village  in  the  department  of  Eure 
and  Loire,  in  France — announcing  the  discovery  of  an  intra- 
Mercurial  body,  making  its  transit,  in  appearance  like  a  small 
black  spot,  across  the  disk  of  the  sun.  Possessed  of  a  sensitive 
and  modest  soul, — as  all  true  lovers  of  science  are, — ^the  doctor 
at  first  doubted  the  reality  of  his  discovery,  and  hesitated  to 
make  it  known.  It  was  only  after  vainly  waiting  nine  months, 
to  verify  his  observation  by  another  view  of  the  object,  that  he 
prepared  a  letter,  narrating  what  he  thought  he  had  seen,  and 
sent  it  to  the  great  Leverrier.  The  latter  had  just  published 
an  article  on  Mercury's  perturbations  in  the  Kosmos  of 
Paris.  Astonished  at  this  coincident  proof  of  the  correctness 
of  his  theory,  he  lost  no  time  in  starting  for  the  village  of 


TRIUMPHS   OF   INGENUITY.  397 

Oig^res,  to  obtain  a  personal  interview  with  the  humble  dis- 
coverer of  the  new  orb.  The  following  account  of  the  meeting 
was  reported  in  the  Kosthos  hj  the  Abb^  Moigne,  who  took 
it  from  the  lips  of  Leverrier  himself: — 

Leverrier  left  Paris  for  Org^res,  in  company  with  Vallee, 
four  days  after  the  date  of  Lescarbault's  letter.  Orgdres  was 
twelve  miles  from  the  nearest  railroad-station,  and  the  party 
had  to  foot  it  across  the  country.  On  their  arrival,  Leverrier 
knocked  loudly  at  the  door,  which  was  opened  by  the  doctor 
himself;  but  his  visitor  declined  to  give  his  name.  The  simple, 
modest,  timid  Lescarbault,  small  in  stature,  stood  abashed 
before  the  tall  Leverrier,  who,  in  blunt  intonation,  addressed 
him  thus :  ^^  It  is  you,  then,  sir,  who  pretend  to  have  discovered 
the  intrarMercurial  planet,  and  who  have  committed  the  grave 
offence  of  keeping  your  discovery  secret  for  nine  months !  I 
come  to  do  justice  to  your  pretensions,  to  warn  you  that  you 
have  either  been  dishonest  or  deceived.  Tell  me  unequivocally 
what  you  have  seen."  The  Iamb-like  doctor,  trembling  at  this 
rude  summons,  stammered  out  the  following  reply : — 

"On  the  26th  of  March  (1859),  about  four  o'clock,  I  turned 
my  telescope  to  the  sun,  when,  to  my  surprise,  I  saw,  at  a  small 
distance  from  its  margin,  a  black  spot,  well  defined,  and  per- 
fectly round,  advancing  upon  the  disk  of  the  sun.  A  customer 
called  me  away,  and,  hurrying  him  off  as  fast  as  I  could,  I 
came  back  to  my  glass,  when  I  found  the  round  spot  had  con- 
tinued its  transit,  and  I  saw  it  disappear  from  the  opposite 
margin  of  the  sun,  after  a  projection  upon  it  of  an  hour  and  a 
half.  I  did  not  seize  the  precise  moment  of  contact.  The 
spot  was  on  the  disk  when  I  first  saw  it.  I  measured  its  dis- 
tance from  the  margin,  and  counted  the  time  it  took  to  make 
the  same  distance,  and  so  approximated  the  instant  of  its 
entry."  "  To  count  time  is  easy  to  say,"  said  Leverrier;  "but 
where  is  your  chronometer  ?"  "  My  chronometer  is  this 
watch,  that  beats  only  minutes, — the  faithful  companion  of  my 
professional  labors."  "  What !  with  that  old  watch  ?  How  dare 
you   talk  of  counting  seconds?    My  suspicions  are  too  well 

34 


398  TRIUMPHS   OF   INGENUITY. 

founded."  "Pardon  me,  sir,  but  I  have  a  pendulum  that 
nearly  beats  seconds,  and  I  will  bring  it  down  to  show  you.''' 
He  goes  above-stairs  and  brings  down  a  silken  thread,  the 
upper  end  of  which  he  fastens  to  a  nail,  and  brings  to  rest  the 
ivory  ball  at  the  lower  end.  He  then  starts  it  from  the  verti- 
cal, and  its  oscillations  beat  seconds  very  nearly.  <<  This  is 
not  enough,  sir  :  how  do  you  count  these  seconds  while  in  the 
act  of  observing  ?"  "  My  profession  is  to  feel  pulses  and 
count  their  pulsations,  and  my  pendulum  puts  my  seconds  into 
my  ears,  and  I  have  no  difficulty  in  counting  them." 

"  But  where  is  your  telescope  ?"  The  doctor  showed  Lever- 
rier  his  glass,  which  was  one  of  Cauchoiz's  best.  It  was  four 
inches  in  diameter,  and  mounted  on  a  rude  stand.  He  took  the 
wondering  astronomer-imperial  to  his  roof,  where  he  was  build- 
ing a  rude  revolving  platform  and  dome.  **  This  is  all  very  well; 
but  where  is  your  original  memorandum  ?"  The  doctor  ran  and 
got  his  almanac,  or  Connaissance  des  Temps,  and  in  it  he  finds 
a  square  piece  of  paper,  used  as  a  marker,  and  on  it,  all  covered 
with  grease  and  laudanum,  is  the  original  memorandum !  "But 
you  have  falsified  the  time  of  emergence.  It  is  four  minutes 
too  late  by  this  memorandum."  "It  is;  but  the  four  minutes 
are  the  error  of  my  watch,  which  I  corrected  by  sidereal  time, 
by  the  aid  of  this  little  telescope." 

"  But  how  did  you  determine  the  two  angular  co-ordinates 
of  the  point  of  contact,  of  the  entry  and  emergence  of  the 
planet,  and  how  did  you  measure  the  chord  of  the  arc  between 
them?"  Having  explained  the  simple  method  which  he 
pursued  in  the  premises  to  the  satisfaction  of  the  astronomer, 
the  latter  next  inquired  after  his  rough  drafts  of  calculation 
for  determining  the  distance  of  the  planet  from  the  sun.  "  My 
rough  draughts  !  Paper  is  scarce  with  us.  I  am  a  joiner  as 
well  as  an  astronomer.  I  write  on  my  boards,  and  when  I  am 
done,  I  plane  them  off  and  begin  again ;  but  I  think  I  have 
preserved  them."  On  visiting  the  shop,  they  found  the  board, 
with  all  its  lines  and  numbers  still  unobliterated  ! 

The  Parisian  savant  was  now  convinced  that  Lescarbault 


TRIUMPHS  OF  INOENUITT.  SQQ 

had  really  seen  the  planet  whose  existence  he  had  himself 
foretold.  Turning  to  the  amateur  astronomer,  he  revealed  his 
personality,  and  congratulated  his  humble  brother  on  the  mag* 
nificent  discovery  thus  confirmed.  It  was  the  event  in  the 
Org^res  physician's  life.  Honors  poured  in  upon  him.  The 
cross  of  the  Legion  of  Honor  was  sent  to  him  from  Paris,  and 
his  name  was  at  once  enrolled  in  the  lists  of  the  leading 
scientific  academies  of  Europe. 

The  new  orb,  whose  revolution  is  performed  in  19  days,  17 
hours,  has  been  felicitously  named  Vulcan.  If  objection  be 
offered  to  the  selection  of  names  for  the  planets  from  ^'  Olympus' 
dread  hierarchy,''  it  must  at  least  be  acknowledged  that  there 
is  a  peculiar  fitness  in  their  distribution. 

INGENIOUS   STRATAGEM   OP   COLUMBUS 

Thou  Luther  of  the  darkened  deep ! 

Nor  less  intrepid,  too,  than  he 
Whose  courage  broke  earth's  bigot  sleep, 

While  thine  unbarred  the  sea ! 

During  the  fourth  voyage  of  Columbus,  while  prosecuting 
his  discoveries  among  the  West  India  Islands  and  along  the 
coast  of  the  continent,  his  vessels,  from  continual  subjection  to 
tempestuous  weather,  and  being,  to  use  his  own  expression, 
''  bored  by  the  worms  as  full  of  holes  as  a  honey-comb,"  were 
reduced  to  mere  wrecks,  unable  any  longer  to  keep  the  sea,  and 
were  finally  stranded  on  the  shore  of  Jamaica.  Being  beyond 
the  possibility  of  repair,  they  were  fitted  up  for  the  temporary 
use  of  Columbus,  who  was  in  feeble  health,  and  of  such  of  his 
crew  as  were  disabled  by  sickness,  those  who  were  well  being 
sent  abroad  for  assistance  and  supplies.  Their  immediate 
wants  were  amply  provided  for,  Diego  Mendez  having  made 
arrangements  with  the  natives  for  a  daily  exchange  of  knives, 
combs,  beads,  fish-hooks,  &c.,  for  cassava  bread,  fish,  and  other 
provisions.  In  the  course  of  a  short  time,  however,  provisions 
on  the  island  became  scarce,  and  the  supplies  began  gradually 
to  fall  off.  The  arrangements  for  the  daily  delivery  of  certain 
quantities  were  irregularly  attended  to,  and  finally  ceased  cl- 


400  TRIUMPHS   OF  INGENUITY. 

tirelj.  The  Indians  no  longer  thronged  to  the  harbor  with 
provisions,  and  often  refused  them  when  applied  for.  The 
Spaniards  were  obliged  to  forage  about  the  neighborhood  for 
their  daily  food,  but  found  more  and  more  difficulty  in  pro- 
curing it;  and  now,  in  addition  to  their  other  causes  of  despond- 
ency, they  began  to  entertain  horrible  apprehensions  of 
famine. 

The  admiral  heard  the  melancholy  forebodings  of  his  men, 
and  beheld  the  growing  evil,  but  was  at  a  loss  for  a  remedy. 
To  resort  to  force  was  an  alternative  full  of  danger,  and  of  but 
temporary  efficacy.  It  would  require  all  those  who  were  well 
enough  to  bear  arms  to  sally  forth,  while  he  and  the  rest  of  the 
infirm  would  be  left  defenceless  on  board  the  wreck,  exposed  to 
the  vengeance  of  the  natives. 

In  the  mean  time,  the  scarcity  daily  increased.  The  Indians 
perceived  the  wants  of  the  white  men,  and  had  learned  from 
them  the  art  of  making  bargains.  They  asked  ten  times  the 
former  quantity  of  European  articles  for  a  given  amount  of 
provisions,  and  brought  their  supplies  in  scanty  quantities,  to 
enhance  the  eagerness  of  the  Spaniards.  At  length  even  this 
relief  ceased,  and  there  was  an  absolute  distress  for  want  of 
food,  the  natives  withholding  all  provisions,  in  hopes  either  of 
starving  the  admiral  and  his  people,  or  of  driving  them  from 
the  island. 

In  this  extremity,  a  fortunate  idea  suddenly  presented  itself 
to  Columbus.  From  his  knowledge  of  astronomy,  he  ascertained 
that  within  three  days  there  would  be  a  total  eclipse  of  the  moon, 
in  the  early  part  of  the  night.  He  sent,  therefore,  an  Indian  of 
the  island  of  Hispaniola,  who  served  as  his  interpreter,  to  sum- 
mon the  principal  caciques  to  a  grand  conference,  appointing  for 
it  the  day  of  the  eclipse.  When  all  were  assembled,  he  told 
them,  by  his  interpreter,  that  he  and  his  followers  were  worship- 
pers of  a  deity  who  lived  in  the  skies;  that  this  deity  favored  such 
as  did  well,  but  punished  all  transgressors ;  that,  as  they  must 
all  have  noticed,  he  had  protected  Diego  Mendez  and  his  com- 
panions in  their  voyage,  they  having  gone  in  obedience  to  the 


TRIUMPHS   OF   INGENUITY.  401 

orders  of  their  commanderj  but  that,  on  the  other  hand,  he 
had  visited  Francisco  de  Pornis  and  his  companions  with  all 
kinds  of  crosses  and  aj69ictioDS,  in  consequence  of  their  rebel- 
lion ;  that  this  great  deity  was  incensed  against  the  Indians 
who  had  refused  or  neglected  to  furnish  his  faithful  worship- 
pers with  provisions,  and  intended  to  chastise  them  with  pesti- 
lence and  famine.  Lest  they  should  disbelieve  this  warning,  a 
signal  would  be  given  that  very  night,  in  the  heavens.  They 
would  behold  the  moon  change  its  color^  and  gradually  lose  its 
light, — a  token  of  the  fearful  punishment  which  awaited  them. 

Many  of  the  Indians  were  alarmed  at  the  solemnity  of  this 
prediction;  others  treated  it  with  scoffing:  all,  however,  awaited 
with  solicitude  the  coming  of  the  night,  and  none  with  more 
than  Columbus  himself,  who  was  distracted  with  anxiety  lest 
the  weather  should  prove  cloudy  or  rainy.  Imagine  his  grati- 
tude when  the  evening  sky  appeared  undimmed  by  a  cloud ! 
When  the  time  arrived,  and  the  natives  beheld  a  da];k  shadow 
stealing  over  the  moon,  they  began  to  tremble.  Their  fears 
increased  with  the  progress  of  the  eclipse ;  and  when  they  saw 
mysterious  darkness  covering  the  whole  face  of  nature,  there 
were  no  bounds  to  their  terror.  Seizing  upon  whatever  provi- 
sions they  could  procure,  they  hurried  to  the  ships,  uttering 
cries  and  lamentations.  They  threw  themselves  at  the  feet  of 
Columbus,  implored  him  to  intercede  with  his  God  to  avert 
the  threatened  calamities,  and  assured  him  that  thenceforth 
they  would  bring  him  whatever  he  required.  Columbus  told 
them  that  he  would  retire  and  commune  with  the  deity.  Shut- 
ing  himself  up  in  his  cabin,  he  remained  there  during  the  in- 
crease of  the  eclipse,  the  forests  and  shores  all  the  while  re- 
sounding with  the  bowlings  and  supplications  of  the  savages. 
When  the  eclipse  was  about  to  diminish,  he  came  forth  and 
informed  the  natives  that  he  had  interceded  for  them  with  his 
God,  who,  on  condition  of  their  fulfilling  their  promises,  had 
deigned  to  pardon  them ;  in  sign  of  which  he  would  withdraw 
the  darkness  from  the  moon. 

When  the  Indians  saw  that  planet  restored  presently  to  itM 
2  A  34* 


402  TRIUMPHS  OP  INGENUITY. 

brightness  and  rolling  in  all  its  beauty  through  the  firmament, 
thej  overwhelmed  the  admiral  with  thanks  for  his  intercession, 
and  repaired  to  their  homes,  joyful  at  having  escaped  such 
great  disasters.  Thej  now  regarded  Columbus  with  awe  and 
reverence,  as  a  man  in  the  peculiar  favor  and  confidence  of  the 
Deity,  since  he  knew  upon  earth  what  was  passing  in  the  hea- 
vens. They  hastened  to  propitiate  him  with  gifts,  supplies 
again  arrived  daily  at  the  harbor,  and  from  that  time  forward 
there  was  no  want  of  provisions. 

A  LESSON   WORTH  LEARNING. 

The  possibility  of  a  great  change  being  introduced  by  very 
slight  beginnings  may  be  illustrated  by  a  tale  which  Lockman 
tells  of  a  vizier,  who,  having  offended  his  master,  was  con- 
demned to  perpetual  captivity  in  a  lofty  tower.  At  night  his 
wife  came  to  weep  below  his  window.  "  Cease  your  grief," 
said  the  sage :  '^  go  home  for  the  present,  and  return  hither 
when  you  have  procured  a  live  black  beetle,  together  with  a 
little  ghee^  [or  buflfalo's  butter,]  three  clews, — one  of  the  finest 
silk,  another  of  stout  pack-thread,  and  another  of  whip-cord ; 
finally,  a  stout  coil  of  rope."  When  she  again  came  to  the  foot 
of  the  tower,  provided  according  to  her  husband's  demands, 
he  directed  her  to  touch  the  head  of  the  insect  with  a  little  of 
the  gli^By  to  tie  one  end  of  the  silk  thread  around  him,  and 
to  place  him  on  the  wall  of  the  tower.  Attracted  by  the 
smell  of  the  butter,  which  he  conceived  to  be  in  store  some- 
where above  him,  the  beetle  continued  to  ascend  till  he  reached 
the  top,  and  thus  put  the  vizier  in  possession  of  the  end  of  the 
silk  thread,  who  drew  up  the  pack-thread  by  means  of  the  silk, 
the  small  cord  by  means  of  the  pack-thread,  and,  by  means  of 
the  cord,  a  stout  rope  capable  of  sustaining  his  own  weight. — 
and  so  at  last  escaped  from  the  place  of  his  duress. 

CHOOSING   A   KING. 

The  Tyrians  having  been  much  weakened  by  long  wars  with 
the  Persians,  their  slaves  rose  in  a  body,  slew  their  masters  and 


TRIUMPHS   OF   INGENUITY.  403 

their  children^  touk  possession  of  their  property,  and  married 
their  wives.  The  slaves,  having  thus  obtained  everything, 
consulted  about  the  choice  of  a  king,  and  agreed  that  he  who 
should  first  discern  the  sun  rise  should  be  king.  One  of  them^ 
being  more  merciful  than  the  rest,  had  in  the  general  massacre 
spared  his  master,  Straton,  and  his  son,  whom  he  hid  in  a  cave ; 
and  to  his  old  master  he  now  resorted  for  advice  as  to  this  com- 
petition. 

Straton  advised  his  slave  that  when  others  looked  to  the 
east  he  should  look  toward  the  west.  Accordingly,  when  the 
rebel  tribe  had  all  assembled  in  the  fields,  and  every  man's 
eyes  were  fixed  upon  the  east,  Straton's  slave,  turning  his  back 
upon  the  rest,  looked  only  westward.  He  was  scoffed  at  by 
every  one  for  his  absurdity,  but  immediately  he  espied  the  sun- 
beams upon  the  high  towers  and  chimneys  in  the  city,  and,  an- 
nouncing the  discovery,  claimed  the  crown  as  his  reward 

KING  JOHN   AND   THE   ABBOT. 

An  old  and  formerly  very  popular  baUad. — Percy  Beliquet. 

An  ancient  story  lie  tell  you  anon 
Of  a  notable  prince,  that  was  called  King  John ; 
And  he  ruled  England  with  maine  and  with  might> 
For  he  did  great  wrong,  and  mainteined  litUe  right 

And  lie  tell  you  a  story,  a  story  so  meriye, 
Concerning  the  Abbot  of  Canterburye ; 
How  for  his  house-keeping,  and  high  renowne, 
They  rode  poste  for  him  to  fair  London  towne. 

An  hnndrod  men,  the  king  did  heare  say, 
The  abbot  kept  in  his  house  every  day ; 
And  fifty  gold  chaynes,  without  any  doubt, 
In  yelvet  coates  waited  the  abbot  about 

How  now,  father  abbot,  I  heare  it  of  thee. 
Thou  keepest  a  farre  better  house  than  mee, 
And  for  thy  house-keeping  and  high  renowne, 
I  fear  thou  work'st  treason  against  my  crown. 

My  liege,  quo'  the  abbot,  I  would  it  were  knowncy 
I  never  spend  nothing  but  what  is  my  owne ; 
And  I  trust  your  grace  will  doe  me  no  deero 
For  spending  of  my  owne  true-gotten  geeie. 


404  TRTUMPHS   OF  INGENUITY, 

Yes,  yes,  father  abbot,  your  faolt  it  is  highe, 
And  DOW  for  the  same  thou  needest  must  dye; 
For  except  thou  canst  answer  me  questions  three. 
Thy  head  shall  be  smitten  from  thy  bodie. 

And  first)  quo'  the  king,  when  I'm  in  this  stead, 
With  my  crowne  of  golde  so  faire  on  my  head, 
Among  all  my  liege-men  so  noble  of  birthe^ 
Thou  must  tell  me  to  one  penny  what  I  am  worthe. 

Secondlye,  tell  me,  without  any  doubt, 
How  soone  I  may  ride  the  whole  world  about; 
And  at  the  third  question  thou  must  not  shrink. 
But  tell  me  here  truly  what  I  do  think. 

0,  these  are  hard  questions  for  my  shallow  witt, 
Nor  I  cannot  answer  your  grace  as  yet; 
But  if  you  will  give  me  but  three  weeks  space, 
Be  do  my  endeavour  to  answer  your  grace. 

Now  three  weeks  space  to  thee  will  I  give. 
And  that  is  the  longest  time  thou  hast  to  live ; 
For  if  thou  dost  not  answer  my  questions  three, 
Thy  lands  and  thy  livings  are  forfeit  to  mee. 

Away  rode  the  abbot,  all  sad  ut  that  word^ 
And  he  rode  to  Cambridge  and  Oxen  ford ; 
But  never  a  doctor  there  was  so  wise 
That  could  with  his  learning  an  answer  devise. 

Then  home  rode  the  abbot,  of  comfort  so  cold, 
And  he  mett  his  shepheard  agoing  to  fold : 
How  now,  my  lord  abbot,  you  are  welcome  home : 
What  newes  do  you  bring  us  from  good  King  John  ? 

Sad  newes,  sad  newet,  shepheard,  I  must  give : 
That  I  have  but  three  days  more  to  live; 
For  if  I  do  not  answer  him  questions  three, 
My  head  will  be  smitten  from  my  bodie. 

The  first  is  to  tell  him  there  in  that  stead. 
With  his  crowne  of  golde  so  fair  on  his  head. 
Among  all  his  liege-men  so  noble  of  birthe. 
To  within  one  penny  of  what  he  is  worthe. 

The  second,  to  tell  him,  without  any  doubt, 
How  soone  he  may  ride  this  whole  world  about ; 
And  at  the  third  question  I  must  not  shrinke. 
But  tell  him  there  truly  what  he  does  thinke. 


TRIUMPHS   OF   INGENUITY.  405 

Now  cboare  ap,  sire  abbot:  did  yoa  never  hear  yet. 
That  a  fool  he  may  learne  a  wise  man  witt? 
Lend  me  horse,  and  serviDg-men,  and  your  apparel^ 
And  Be  ride  to  London  to  answere  your  quarrel. 

Nay,  frowne  not,  if  it  hath  bin  told  unto  mee, 
I  am  like  your  lordship,  as  ever  may  bee; 
And  if  you  will  but  lend  me  your  gowne, 
There  is  none  shall  knowe  us  in  fair  London  towno. 

Now  horses  and  serring-men  thou  shalt  haye. 
With  sumptuous  array  moat  gallant  and  brave; 
With  crozier,  and  mitre,  and  rochet,  and  cope. 
Fit  to  appeare  'fore  our  fader  the  Pope. 

Now  welcome,  sire  abbot,  the  king  he  did  say, 
'Tis  well  thou'rt  come  back  to  keepe  thy  day ; 
For  and  if  thou  canst  answer  my  questions  three, 
Thy  life  and  thy  living  both  saved  shall  bee. 

And  first,  when  thou  sccst  me  here  in  this  stead, 
With  my  crowne  of  golde  so  fair  on  my  head, 
Among  all  my  lioge-men  so  noble  of  birthe, 
Tell  me  to  one  penny  what  I  am  worthe. 

For  thirty  pence  our  Saviour  was  sold 
Among  the  false  Jewes,  as  I  have  bin  told; 
And  twenty-nine  is  the  worth  of  thee. 
For  I  think  thou  art  one  penny  worser  than  hee. 

The  king  he  laughed,  and  swore  by  St  Bittel, 
I  did  not  think  I  had  been  worth  so  littel ! 
Now  secondly,  tell  me,  without  any  doubt, 
How  Eoone  I  may  ride  this  whole  world  about. 

You  must  rise  with  the  sun,  and  ride  with  the  sanM^ 
Until  the  next  morning  he  riseth  againe; 
And  then  your  grace  need  not  make  any  doubt 
But  in  twenty-four  hours  you'll  ride  it  about 

The  king  he  laughed,  and  swore  by  St  Jone, 

I  did  not  think  it  could  be  gone  so  soone ! 

Now,  from  the  third  question  thou  must  not  shrinks^ 

But  tell  me  here  truly  what  I  do  thinke. 

Yea,  that  shall  I  do,  and  make  your  grace  merry ; 
You  thinke  I'm  the  abbot  of  Canterbury ; 
But  I'm  his  poor  shcphcard,  as  plain  you  may  see. 
That  am  come  to  bc;^  pardon  for  him  and  for  mf 


406  THB  FANCIES  OF  FACT. 

The  king  he  laughed,  and  swore  by  the  masse, 
He  make  thee  lord  abbot  this  day  in  his  place ! 
Kaye  naye,  my  liege,  be  not  in  such  speede, 
For  alaoke,  I  can  neither  write  nor  reade. 

Four  nobles  a  week,  then,  I  will  give  thee, 
For  this  merry  jest  thou  hast  showne  unto  mee; 
And  tell  the  old  abbot,  when  then  comest  home, 
Thoa  hast  broaght  him  a  pardon  from  good  King  John. 


©tie  J^antm  of  iPart* 

THE   WOUNDS   OF  JULIUS   CiESAR. 

"  Look  !  in  this  place  ran  Gassius'  dagger  throngh : 
See  what  a  rent  the  envious  Casca  made  : 
Through  this  the  well-beloved  Brutus  stabbed." 

At  a  meeting  of  the  French  Academy  of  Medicine,  a  few 
years  ago,  a  curious  paper  was  read,  on  behalf  of  M.  Dubois,  of 
Amiens,  entitled  "Investigations  into  the  death  of  Julius 
Caesar."  M.  Dubois  having  looked  up  the  various  passages  re- 
ferring to  this  famous  historic  incident  to  be  found  in  Dion 
Cassius,  Plutarch,  Suetonius,  Appian,  &c.,  and  compared  them 
with  one  another,  has  fixed  the  spots  where  the  four  first 
wounds  were  inflicted,  and  the  names  of  the  conspirators  who 
inflicted  them.  The  first  blow,  struck  by  one  of  the  brothers 
Casca,  produced  a  slight  wound  underneath  the  left  clavicle; 
the  second,  struck  by  the  other  Casca,  penetrated  the  walls 
of  the  thorax  toward  the  right;  Cassius  inflicted  the  third 
wound  in  the  face.  Decimus  Brutus  gave  the  fourth  stab  in 
the  region  of  the  groin.  Contrary  to  the  general  opinion, 
Marcus  Brutus,  though  one  of  the  conspirators,  did  not  strike 
the  dictator.  After  the  first  blows  Caesar  fainted,  and  then  all 
the  conspirators  hacked  his  body.  He  was  carried  by  three 
slaves  in  a  litter  to  his  house.     Anstistius,  the  physician,  was 


THB  FANCIES  OV  PACT.  407 

ealled  in  and  found  thirty-five  wounds,  only  one  of  which  was 
in  his  opinion  fatal,  that  of  the  second  Casca. 

BILLS   FOR   BTRANQE  SERVICES. 

The  bill  of  the  Cirencester  painter,  mentioned  by  Bishop 
Home,  {Essays  and  ThouglUs^)  is  as  follows: — 

Mr.  Charles  Terrebee 

To  Joseph  Cook,  Dr. 
To  mending  tho  Commandments,  altering  the  Belief,  and 

making  a  new  Lord's  Prayer £1__1— 4) 

Here  is  a  Carpenter*s  bill  of  the  Fifteenth  Century,  copied 
from  the  records  of  an  old  London  Church: — 

Item.      To  screwynge  a  home  on  y  s.        d. 

Diyil,  and  glneinge  a  bitt 
on  hys  tayle vy 

Item.      To  repayring  y  Vyrginne 
Marye  before  and  behynde, 
k  makynge  a  new  Chylde         .        .        .        .        ij  .  rig 

LAW  LOGIC. 

Judge  Blackstone  says,  in  his  Commentaries  (Vol.  i.  ch. 
xviii.),  that  every  Bishop,  Parson  or  Vicar  is  a  Corporation, 
Lord  Coke  asserts,  in  his  Reports  (10.  Rep.  32,)  that  "a  Cor- 
poration has  no  souV^  Upon  these  premises,  the  logical  in- 
ference would  be  that  neither  Bishops,  Parsons  nor  Vicars  have 
souls. 

RECIPROCAL   CONVERSION. 

A  curious  case  of  mixed  process  of  conversation  was  that  of 
the  two  brothers,  Dr.  John  Reynold's,  King's  Professor  at  Ox- 
ford, in  1630,  a  zealous  Roman  Catholic,  and  Dr.  Wm.  Reynolds, 
an  eminent  Protestant.  They  were  both  learned  men,  and  as 
brothers  held  such  affectionate  relations,  that  the  deadly  here- 
sies of  which  each  regarded  the  other  as  the  victim  were  matters 
of  earnest  and  pleading  remonstrance  between  them  by  discus- 
sion and  correspondence.     The  pains  and  zeal  of  each  were 


408  THE  FANCIES  OF  FACT. 

equally  rewarded.  The  Koman  Catholic  brother  became  an 
ardent  Protestant,  and  the  Protestant  brother  became  a  Roman 
Catholic. 

PITHY   PBAYEB. 

We  are  indebted  to  Hume  for  the  preservation  of  a  short 
prayer,  which  he  says  was  that  of  Lord  Astley,  before  he  charged 
at  Edge-hill.  It  ran  thus:  "0  Lord,  thou  knowest  how  busy  I 
must  be  this  day;  if  I  forget  thee,  do  not  thou  forget  me."  And 
Hume  adds,  "  There  were  certainly  much  longer  prayers  in  the 
Parliamentary  army,  but  I  doubt  if  there  was  as  good  a  one." 

MELROSE   BY   SUNLIGHT. 

The  beautiful  description  of  the  appearance  of  the  ruins  of 
Melrose  Abbey  by  moonlight,  in  the  Lay  of  the  Last  Minstrel^ 
has  led  thousands  to  visit  the  £cene  "when  silver  edges  the 
imagery,"  yet  it  is  worth  noting  that  the  author  never  saw  the 
ruined  pile  by  "the  pale  moonlight."  Bernard  Barton  once 
wrote  to  Scott  to  request  him  to  favor  a  young  lady  with  a  copy 
of  the  lines  in  his  own  handwriting.  Sir  Walter  complied, 
but  substituted  for  the  concluding  lines  of  the  original  the 
following: — 

"  Then  go — and  muse  with  deepest  awe 

On  what  the  writer  never  saw ; 

Who  would  not  wander  'neath  the  moon 

To  see  what  he  oould  see  at  noon." 

BACK   ACTION. 

Alphonse  Karr,  in  his  Ghi^pcs,  speaking  of  the  dexterities 
of  the  legal  profession,  relates  a  pleasant  anecdote  of  the  dis- 
tinguished lawyer,  afterward  deputy,  M.  Chaix  d'Est-Ange.  He 
was  employed  in  a  case  where  both  the  parties  were  old  men. 
Referring  to  his  client,  he  said :  "  He  has  attained  that  age, 
when  the  mind,  freed  from  the  passions,  and  tyranny  of  the 
body,  takes  a  higher  flight,  and  soars  in  a  purer  and  serener 
air."     Later  in  his  speech,  he  found  occasion  to  allude  to  the 


THS  FANCIES  OF  FACT.  409 

opposite  party,  of  whom  he  remarked:  '^I  do  not  deny  his 
natural  intelligence;  but  he  has  reached  an  age  in  which  the 
mind  participates  in  the  enfeeblement,  the  decrepitude,  and  the 
degradation  of  the  body." 

THE  AUDITORniMS  OF  THE  LAST  CENTURY. 

When  we  read  of  Patrick  Henry's  wonderful  displays  of 
eloquence,  we  naturally  figure  to  ourselves  a  spacious  interior 
and  a  great  crowd  of  rapt  listeners.  But,  in  truth,  those  of  his 
orations  which  quickened  or  changed  the  march  of  events,  and 
the  thrill  of  which  has  been  felt  in  the  nerves  of  four  generations, 
were  all  delivered  in  small  rooms  and  to  few  hearers,  never  more 
than  one  hundred  and  fifty.  The  first  thought  of  the  visitor  to 
St.  John's  Church  in  Eichmond,  is:  Could  it  have  been  here,  in 
this  oaken  chapel  of  fifty  or  sixty  pews,  that  Patrick  Henry 
delivered  the  greatest  and  best  known  of  all  his  speeches?  Was 
it  here  that  he  uttered  those  words  of  doom,  so  unexpected,  so 
unwelcome,  "We  must  fight'*?  Even  here.  And  the  words 
were  spoken  in  a  tone  and  manner  worthy  of  the  men  to  whom 
they  were  addressed — ^with  quiet  and  profound  solemnity. 

TRUE  FORM  OF  THE  CROSS. 

The  ancient  and  ignominious  punishment  of  crucifixion  was 
abolished  by  the  Roman  Emperor  Constantino  the  Great,  who 
thought  it  indecent  and  irreligious  that  the  Cross  should  be 
used  for  the  putting  to  death  of  the  vilest  oflFenders,  while  he 
himself  erected  it  as  a  trophy,  and  esteemed  it  the  noblest 
ornament  of  his  diadem  and  military  standards.  In  conse- 
quence of  his  decree,  crucifixion  has  scarcely  been  witnessed  in 
Europe  for  the  last  1500  years.  Those  painters,  sculptors, 
poets  and  writers  who  have  attempted  to  describe  it  have, 
therefore,  followed  their  own  imagination  or  vague  tradition 
rather  than  the  evidence  of  history.  But  they  could  hardly 
do  otherwise,  because  the  writings  of  the  early  fathers  of  the 
Church  and  of  pagan  historians  were  not  generally  accessible 

35 


410  THE   FANCIES   OP  PACT. 

to  them  until  after  the  revival  of  learning  in  the  Fifteenth 
Century,  and  because  the  example  of  depicting  the  cross  once 
given  had  been  religiously  followed  by  the  earliest  painters  and 
sculptors,  and  universally  accepted  without  question;  and  to 
object  to  the  generally  received  form  would  have  been  deemed 
sacrilegious.  These  two  reasons  may  have  been  sufficient  to 
deter  the  great  artists  of  the  Sixteenth  and  Seventeenth 
Centuries  from  making  any  change;  there  may,  however,  have 
been  a  third,  quite  as  potent  (if  not  more  so),  and  that  is  that 
the  introduction  of  the  lower  projecting  beam,  astride  of  which 
the  crucified  person  was  seated,  would  have  been  both  inartistic 
and  indecent,  yet  this  third  piece  was  invariably  used  when  the 
punishment  was  inflicted,  except  in  the  case  where  the  sufferer 
was  crucified  with  the  head  downward.  The  researches  of  two 
eminent  scholars  of  the  Seventeenth  Century — Salmasius  and 
Lipsius — ^have  put  it  beyond  a  doubt  that  the  cross  consisted  of 
a  strong  upright  post,  not  much  taller  than  a  man  of  lofty 
stature,  which  was  sharpened  at  the  lower  end,  by  which  it 
was  fixed  into  the  ground,  having  a  short  bar  or  stake  pro- 
jecting from  its  middle,  and  a  longer  transverse  beam  firmly 
joined  to  the  upright  post  near  the  top.  The  condemned  per- 
son was  made  to  carry  his  cross  to  the  place  of  execution,  after 
having  been  first  whipped;  he  was  then  stripped  of  his 
clothing,  and  offered  a  cup  of  medicated  wine,  to  impart  firm- 
ness or  alleviate  pain.  He  was  then  made  to  sit  astride  the 
middle  bar,  and  his  limbs,  having  been  bound  with  cords,  the 
legs  to  the  upright  beam,  the  arms  to  the  transverse,  were 
finally  secured  by  driving  large  iron  spikes  through  the  hands 
and  feet.  The  cross  was  then  fixed  in  its  proper  position,  and 
the  sufferer  was  left  to  die,  not  so  much  from  pain  (as  is 
generally  supposed)  as  from  exhaustion,  or  heat,  or  cold,  or 
hunger,  or  wild  beasts,  unless  (as  was  usually  the  case)  his 
sufferings  were  put  an  end  to  by  burning,  stoning,  suffocation, 
breaking  the  bones,  or  piercing  the  vital  organs.  If  left  alone 
he  generally  survived  two  days  or  three,  and  there  are  cases 


THE  FANCIES  OF  FACT.  411 

recorded  where  the  sufferer  lingered  till  the  flflh  day  before 
dying. 

Referring  to  the  earliest  Christian  writers,  who  witnessed  the 
crucifixion  of  hundreds  of  their  martyred  brethren,  it  will  be 
seen  that  the  foregoing  statement  of  Salmasius  respecting  the 
true  form  of  the  cross  is  well  founded.  Irenaeus,  Bishop  of 
Lyons,  in  the  second  century,  says:  "The  structure  of  the 
cross  has  five  ends  or  summits,  two  in  length,  two  in  breadth, 
and  one  in  the  middle,  on  which  the  crucified  person  rests." 
Justin,  another  Christian  writer  of  the  same  period,  who 
acquired  the  surname  of  Martyr  from  the  cruel  death  he 
suffered  for  his  faith,  also  speaks  of  "  that  end  projecting  from 
the  middle  of  the  upright  post  like  a  horn,  on  which  crucified 
persons  are  seated."  Tertullian,  another  Christian  writer,  who 
lived  a  little  later,  says:  "A  part,  and,  indeed,  a  principal  part, 
of  the  cross  is  any  post  which  is  fixed  in  an  upright  position ; 
but  to  us  the  entire  cross  is  imputed,  including  its  transverse 
beam,  and  the  projecting  bar  which  serves  as  a  seat." 

This  fact  (of  the  sufferer  being  seated)  wUl  account  for  the 
long  duration  of  the  punishment;  the  wounds  in  the  hands 
and  feet  did  not  lacerate  any  large  vessel,  and  were  nearly  closed 
by  the  nails  which  produced  them.  The  Rev.  Alban  Butler,  in 
his  Lives  of  the  Saints,  gives  numerous  instances  of  the  linger- 
ing nature  of  this  mode  of  execution,  and  of  the  wonderful 
heroism  displayed  by  the  Christians  who  underwent  it.  The 
Pagan  historians  also  narrate  instances  of  similar  heroism  on 
the  part  of  political  offenders,  who  were  put  to  death  on  the 
Cross.  Bomilcar,  the  commander  of  the  Carthaginian  army 
in  Sicily,  having  shown  a  disposition  to  desert  to  the  enemy, 
was  nailed  to  a  gibbet  in  the  middle  of  the  forum;  but  "from 
the  height  of  the  Cross,  as  from  a  tribunal,  he  declaimed 
against  the  crimes  of  the  citizens;  and  having  spoken  thus 
with  a  loud  voice  amid  an  immense  concourse  of  the  people, 
he  expired."  Crucifixion  has  been  practised  from  the  remotest 
ages  in  the  East,  and  is  still  occasionally  resorted  to  in  Turkey, 


412  THE  FANCIES  OF  FACT. 

Madagascar,  and  Northern  Africa.  The  Jewish  historian,  Jose- 
phus,  states  that  the  chief  baker  of  Pharaoh,  whose  dream  had 
been  interpreted  by  Joseph,  was  cnici/ied,  though  Scripture 
says  he  was  handed;  but  this  may  mean  hanged  on  a  cross,  for 
the  expression  seems  to  be  almost  equivalent  to  crucified,  as 
appears  from  Galatians,  chap.  III.  v.  13.  "  Christ  hath  redeemed 
us  from  the  curse  of  the  law,  being  made  a  curse  for  us ;  for 
it  is  written,  ^  Cursed  is  every  one  that  hangeth  on  a  tree.' "  As 
regards  art,  it  is  not  now  to  be  expected  that  the  example  set 
by  the  great  masters  will  be  discarded.  In  this,  as  in  other 
matters,  custom  is  law,  whose  arbitrary  sway  will  be  exercised 
in  spite  of  facts. 

SINQULAB  COINCIDENCES. 

A.  was  walking  with  a  friend  near  Oxford,  when  a  snipe  rose 
within  shot.  They  both  "presented"  their  walking-sticks  at 
the  bird,  remarking  what  a  "pretty  shot"  it  would  have  been 
for  a  gun.  The  snipe  flew  on  a  short  distance,  then  towered, 
and  fell  dead.  When  examined,  the  bird  was  found  to  be 
apparently  uninjured;  but  a  close  examination  discovered  the 
trace  of  a  former  injury,  which  had  led  to  the  rupture  of  a 
blood-vessel.  If,  instead  of  a  walking-stick  a  gun  had  been 
presented  and  discharged  at  the  bird,  no  one  would  have 
ventured  to  doubt  that  the  death  of  the  bird  was  due  to  the 
gun. 

A  young  officer  in  the  army  of  the  famous  Wolfe  was 
apparently  dying  of  an  abscess  in  the  lungs.  He  was  absent 
from  his  regiment  on  sick-leave;  but  resolved  to  rejoin  it,  when 
a  battle  was  expected.  "For,"  said  he,  "since  I  am  given 
over,  I  had  better  be  doing  my  duty;  and  my  life's  being 
shortened  a  few  days,  matters  not."  He  received  a  shot  which 
pierced  tJie  abscess^  and  made  an  opening  for  the  discharge. 
He  recovered,  and  lived  to  the  age  of  eighty. 

In  the  United  Service  Museum,  (Whitehall  Yard,  London,) 


THE   FANCIES   OF  FACT.  413 

are  exhibited  the  "jaws  of  a  shark,"  wide  open,  and  enclosing 
a  tin  box.  The  history  of  this  strange  exhibition  is  as  follows : — 
A  ship,  on  her  way  to  the  West  Indies,  "fell  in  with"  and 
chafied  a  snspicious-looking  craft,  which  had  all  the  appearance 
of  a  slaver.  During  the  pursuit,  the  chase  threw  something 
overboard.  She  was  subsequently  captured,  and  taken  into 
Port  Royal  to  be  tried  as  a  slaver.  In  absence  of  the  ship's 
papers  and  other  proofs,  the  slaver  was  not  only  in  a  fair  way 
to  escape  condemnation,  but  her  captain  was  anticipating  the 
recovery  of  pecuniary  damages  against  his  captor  for  illegal 
detention.  While  the  subject  was  under  discussion,  a  vessel 
came  into  port,  which  had  followed  closely  in  the  track  of  the 
chase  above  described.  She  had  caught  a  shark;  and  in  its 
stomach  was  found  a  tin  box,  which  contained  the  slaver's 
papers.  Upon  the  strength  of  this  evidence  the  slaver  was 
condemned.     The  written  account  is  attached  to  the  box. 

A.  B.  was  present  while  some  "  tricks  in  cards"  were  being 
exhibited  by  a  professional  juggler.  He  took  a  fresh  pack  of 
cards,  and  directed  the  company  to  take  out  a  card  from  the 
pack,  to  replace  it,  and  shuffle  the  pack.  This  being  done, 
A.  B.  took  the  pack  in  his  hand  and  carelessly  tossed  on  the 
table  a  card,  which  proved  to  be  the  correct  one.  The  pro- 
fessor, in  the  utmost  surprise  and  admiration,  offered  to  give 
A.  B.  three  of  his  best  tricks  if  he  would  give  him  the  secret 
of  the  trick  which  he  had  just  exhibited.  A.  B.  coolly 
declined  the  offer,  and  concealed  the  fact  that  it  was  all  chance^ 
in  the  purest  sense  of  the  word,  that  led  to  the  selection  of  the 
proper  card  from  the  pack. 

Upon  the  death  of  a  seaman,  some  money  became  payable 
to  his  widow,  Elizabeth  Smith,  No.  20  (of  a  certain,  say 
"King")  Street,  Wapping.  The  government  agent  called  at 
No.  20  King  Street,  and  finding  that  Elizabeth  Smith  lived 
there,  paid  the  money  without  further  inquiry.  Subsequently 
the  true  widow,  Elizabeth  Smith,  turned  up;  and  it  was  then 

36» 


414  THE  FANCIES  OF  FACT. 

discovered  that,  at  the  very  time  the  money  was  paid,  the 
street  was  being  re-numbered,  and  there  were  tioo  houses 
numbered  20;  and  what  was  most  remarkable,  there  was  an 
Elizabeth  Smith  living  in  each  of  them. 

Some  time  in  the  last  century,  a  Mrs.  Stephens  professed  to 
have  received  from  her  husband  a  medicine  for  dissolving 
"the  stone  in  the  bladder,"  and  offered  to  sell  it  to  government. 
In  order  to  test  the  virtue  of  this  medicine,  a  patient  was 
selected  who  had  undeniably  the  complaint  in  question.  He 
took  the  medicine,  and  was  soon  quite  well.  The  doctors 
watched  him  anxiously,  and  when  he  died,  many  years  aH^r, 
he  was  seized  by  them,  and  the  body  examined.  It  was  then 
discovered  that  the  stone  had  made  for  itself  a  little  sac  in  the 
bladder,  and  was  so  tightly  secured  that  it  had  never  caused 
any  inconvenience. 

Government,  however,  (somewhat  prematurely,)  rewarded 
Mrs.  Stephens  with  a  sum  of  £10,000.  The  cure  appeared  to 
have  been  purely  accidental,  as  the  remedy  was  nothing  bub 
potash,  which  has  little  or  no  virtue  in  such  cases. 

A  gentleman  of  fortune,  named  Angerstein,  lost  a  large 
quantity  of  valuable  plate.  His  butler  was  soon  on  the  track 
of  the  thieves,  (who  had  brought  a  coach  to  carry  the  plate), 
and  enquired  at  the  first  turnpike  gate  whether  any  vehicle 
had  lately  passed.  The  gate-keeper  stated  that  a  hackney- 
coach  had  shortly  before  gone  through;  and  though  he  was 
surprised  at  its  passing  by  so  early  in  the  morning,  he  had  not 
noticed  the  "number"  on  the  coach.  A  servant  girl,  hearing 
the  conversation,  volunteered  her  statement,  that  she  saw  the 
coach  pass  by,  and  its  number  was  "45."  As  the  girl  could 
not  read,  they  were  surprised  at  her  knowing  the  "  number." 
She  stated  that  she  knew  it  well,  as  being  the  same  number 
she  had  long  seen  about  the  walls  everywhere,  which  she  knew 
was  "45,"  as  every  one  was  speaking  of  it.  This  allusion  of 
the  gii-rs  was  in  reference  to  the  "  Wilkes"  disturbances,  when 


THE  FANCIES   OF   FACT.  415 

the  45th  number  of  the  TVmc  Briton  was  prosecuted,  and  caused 
a  great  deal  of  public  excitement.  Mr.  Angerstein's  butler 
went  at  once  to  London  and  found  out  the  driver  of  the 
hackney-coach  No.  45,  who  at  once  drove  him  to  the  place 
where  the  plate  was  deposited,  and  it  was  all  recovered. 

Some  years  since,  in  the  "  Temple,"  was  a  vertical  sun-dial, 
with  the  motto,  "Be  gone  about  your  business."  It  is  stated 
that  this  very  appropriate  motto  was  the  result  of  the  following 
blunder: — When  the  dial  was  erected,  the  benchers  were  applied 
to  for  a  motto.  They  desired  the  "builder's  man"  to  call  at  the 
library  at  a  certain  hour  on  a  certain  day,  when  he  should 
receive  instructions.  But  they  forgot  the  whole  matter.  On 
the  appointed  day  and  hour  the  "builder's  man"  called  at  the 
library,  and  found  only  a  lawyer  in  close  study  over  a  law  book. 
The  man  stated  the  cause  of  his  intrusion,  which  suited  so 
badly  the  lawyer's  time  and  leisure  that  he  bid  the  man  sharply 
"Be  gone  about  your  business."  The  lawyer's  testy  reply  was 
duly  painted  in  big  letters  upon  the  dial,  and  was  considered  so 
apposite  that  it  was  not  only  allowed  to  remain,  but  was  con- 
sidered to  be  as  appropriate  a  motto  as  could  be  chosen. 

Two  men  in  France  took  shelter  in  a  bam  for  the  night.  In 
the  morning  one  of  them  was  found  dead,  with  severe  injury 
to  the  head.  The  comrade  was  at  once  arrested,  and  told  some 
"cock-and-bull"  story  about  the  terrible  storm  of  the  night  in 
question,  and  attributed  his  companion's  death  to  the  effect  of 
a  thunder-bolt.  He  was  not  credited :  and  was  in  a  fair  way  to 
be  executed  for  the  supposed  crime.  A  scientific  gentleman, 
hearing  of  the  circumstance,  examined  the  place,  and  found  a 
hole  in  the  roof  of  the  bam,  and  an  aerolite  close  to  the  spot 
where  the  deceased  had  slept  on  the  night  in  question.  The 
innocence  of  the  accused  was  at  once  considered  as  established, 
and  he  was  released. 

Now,  even  in  these  cases,  there  is  nothing  siipemafuralj  or 
even  t/n natural ;  i.  e.,  there  is  nothing  to  prevent  the  occurrence. 


416  THE  FANCIES  OF  FACT. 

The  improbability  is  only  from  the  enormous  number  of  chances 
against  each.  But  when  any  German  theologian,  or  other,  pre- 
tends to  explain  a  serifs  of  alleged  miracles  as  mere  a/^cid^mts, 
he  should  be  reminded  that  the  chances  are  mvltipUed  against 
each  repeated  occurrence.  If,  e.  g.,  the  chances  against  a  person's 
bagging  a  snipe,  which  died  accidentally  just  as  he  pointed  a 
stick  or  a  gun  at  it,  be  only  j^'o^,  then,  against  his  thus  ob- 
taining tico^  the  chances  would  be  tijijJoiju>  ^°^  so  on.  No 
one  familiar  with  what  is  sometimes  called  the  Doctrine  of 
Chances  but  more  correctly  called  the  Theory  of  Prohahilities^ 
would  believe  that  a  sportsman  could  bring  home  a  bag  full  of 
game,  every  bird  having  died  accidentally  just  when  shot  at. 

CHICK   IN  THE  EGG. 

The  hen  has  scarcely  sat  on  the  egg  twelve  hours,  when  we 
begin  already  to  discover  in  it  some  lineaments  of  the  head  and 
body  of  the  chicken  that  is  to  be  bom.  The  heart  appears  to 
beat  at  the  end  of  the  day;  at  the  end  of  forty-eight  hours, 
two  vesicles  of  blood  can  be  distinguished,  the  pulsation  of 
which  is  very  visible.  At  the  fiftieth  hour,  an  auricle  of  the 
heart  appears,  and  resembles  a  lace,  or  noose  folded  down 
upon  itself.  At  the  end  of  seventy  hours,  we  distinguish 
wings,  and  on  the  head  two  bubbles  for  the  brain;  one  for 
the  bill,  and  two  others  for  the  forepart  and  hindpart  of 
the  head;  the  liver  appears  towards  the  fifth  day.  At  the 
end  of  one  hundred  and  thirty-one  hours,  the  first  voluntary 
motion  is  observed.  At  the  end  of  one  hundred  and  thirty- 
eight  hours  the  lungs  and  stomach  become  visible ;  at  the 
end  of  one  hundred  and  forty-two,  the  intestines,  the  loins, 
and  the  upper  jaw.  The  seventh  day,  the  brain,  which 
was  slimy,  begins  to  have  some  coDsistence.  At  the  190th 
hour  of  incubation,  the  bill  opens,  and  the  flesh  appears  in 
the  breast.  At  the  194th,  the  sternum  is  seen,  that  is  to 
say,  the  breastbone.  At  the  210th,  the  ribs  come  out  of 
the  back,  the  bill  is  very  visible,  as  well  as  the  gall-bladder, 


THE   FANCIES   OP   FACT.  417 

The  bill  becomes  green  at  tl^e  end  of  two  hundred  and  thirty 
six  hours ;  and  if  the  chick  is  taken  out  of  its  covering,  it  evi- 
dently moves  itself.  The  feathers  begin  to  shoot  out  towards 
the  240th  hour,  and  the  skull  becomes  gristly.  At  the  264th^ 
the  eyes  appear.  At  the  288th,  the  ribs  are  perfect.  At  the 
SSlst,  the  spleen  draws  near  to  the  stomach,  and  the  lungs  to 
the  chest.  At  the  end  of  three  hundred  and  fifty-five  hours, 
the  bill  frequently  opens  and  shuts;  and  at  the  end  of  four 
hundred  and  fifty-one  hours,  or  the  eighteenth  day,  the  first  cry 
of  the  chick  is  already  heard :  it  afterwards  gets  more  strength, 
and  grows  continually,  till  at  last  it  sets  itself  at  liberty,  by 
opening  the  prison  in  which  it  was  shut  up.  Thus  is  it  by  so 
many  different  degrees  that  these  creatures  are  brought  into  life. 
All  these  progressions  are  made  by  rule,  and  there  is  not  one 
of  them  without  sufficient  reason.  No  part  of  its  body  could 
appear  sooner  or  later  without  the  whole  embryo  suffering ;  and 
each  of  its  limbs  appears  at  the  proper  moment.  How  mani- 
festly is  this  ordination — so  wise^  and  so  invariable  in  the  pro- 
duction of  the  animal — the  work  of  a  Supreme  Being  I 

INNATE  APPETITE. 

McKenzie,  in  his  Phrenological  Essays^  mentions  the  follow- 
ing curious  fact,  witnessed  by  Sir  James  Hall.  He  had  been 
engaged  in  making  some  experiments  on  hatching  eggs  by  arti- 
ficial heat,  and  on  one  occasion  observed  in  one  of  his  boxes  a 
chicken  in  the  act  of  breaking  from  its  confinement.  It  hap- 
pened that  just  as  the  creature  was  getting  out  of  the  shell,  a 
spider  began  to  run  along  the  box«  when  the  chicken  darted 
forward,  seized  and  swallowed  it. 

THE  INDIAN  AND   HIS   TAMED   SNAKE. 

An  Indian  had  tamed  a  blacksnake,  which  he  kept  about 
him  during  the  summer  months.  In  autumn  he  let  the  crea- 
ture go  whither  it  chose  to  crawl,  but  told  it  to  come  to  him 
again  upon  a  certain  day,  which  he  named,  in  the  spring.  A 
white  man  who  was  present,  and  saw  what  was  done,  and  heard 
2B 


418  THE    FANCIES   OF   FACT. 

the  IndiaD  affirm  that  the  serpent  would  return  to  him  the  very 
day  he  had  appointed^  had  no  faith  in  the  truth  of  his  predic- 
tion. The  next  spring,  however,  retaining  the  day  in  his  me- 
mory, curiosity  led  him  to  the  place,  where  he  found  the  Indian 
in  waiting;  and,  after  remaining  with  him  about  two  hours,  the 
serpent  came  crawling  back,  and  put  himself  under  the  care  of 
his  old  master. 

In  this  case,  the  Indian  had  probably  observed  that  black- 
snakes  usually  return  to  their  old  haunts  at  the  same  vernal 
season ;  and  as  he  had  tamed,  fed,  and  kept  this  snake  in  a  par- 
ticular place,  experience  taught  him  that  it  would  return  on  a 
certain  day. 

ALLIGATORS   SWALLOWING   STONES. 

The  Indians  on  the  banks  of  the  Oronoko  assert  that  pre- 
viously to  an  alligator  going  in  search  of  prey  it  always  swallows 
a  large  stone,  that  it  may  acquire  additional  weight  to  aid  it  in 
diving  and  dragging  its  victims  under  water.  A  traveller  being 
somewhat  incredulous  on  this  point,  Bolivar,  to  convince  him, 
shot  several  with  his  rifle,  and  in  all  of  them  were  found  stones 
varying  in  weight  according  to  the  size  of  the  animal.  The 
largest  killed  was  about  seventeen  feet  in  length,  and  had  within 
him  a  stone  weighing  about  sixty  or  seventy  pounds. 

HABITS   OF   SHEEP. 

Never  jamps  a  sheep  that's  frightened 
Over  any  fence  whatever, 
Over  wall,  or  fence,  or  timber, 
But  a  second  follows  after. 
And  a  third  upon  the  second, 
And  a  fourth,  and  fiflh,  and  so  on. 
When  they  see  the  tail  uplifted,^* 
First  a  sheep,  and  then  a  dozen. 
Till  they  all,  in  quick  succession, 
One  by  one,  have  got  clear  over. 

Dr.  Anderson,  of  Liverpool,  relates  the  following  amusing 
illustration  of  the  singularly  persevering  disposition  of  sheep 
to  follow  their  leader  wherever  he  goes  : — 


THE  FANCIES   OF   FACT.  419 

A  butcher's  boj  was  driving  about  twenfy  fat  wethers 
through  the  town,  but  they  ran  down  a  street  where  he  did  not 
want  them  to  go.  He  observed  a  scavenger  at  work,  and  called 
out  loudly  for  him  to  stop  the  sheep.  The  man  accordingly  did 
what  he  could  to  turn  them  back,  running  from  side  to  side, 
always  opposing  himself  to  their  passage,  and  brandishing  his 
broom  with  great  dexterity ;  but  the  sheep,  much  agitated, 
pressed  forward,  and  at  last  one  of  them  came  right  up  to  the 
man,  who,  fearing  it  was  going  to  jump  over  his  head,  whilst 
he  was  stooping,  grasped  the  broom  with  both  hands  and  held 
it  over  his  head.  He  stood  for  a  few  seconds  in  this  position, 
when  the  sheep  made  a  spring  and  jumped  fairly  over  him, 
without  touching  the  broom.  The  first  had  no  sooner  cleared 
this  impediment  than  another  followed,  and  another,  in  quick 
succession,  so  that  the  man,  perfectly  confounded,  seemed  to 
lose  all  recollection,  and  stood  in  the  same  attitude  till  the 
whole  of  them  had  jumped  over  him,  and  not  one  attempted 
to  pass  on  either  side,  although  the  street  was  quite  clear. 

BEMARELABLE  EQUESTRIAN   EXPEDITIONS. 

Mr.  Cooper  Thornhill,  an  innkeeper  at  Stilton,  in  Hunting- 
donshire, rode  from  that  place  to  London  and  back  again,  and 
also  a  second  time  to  London,  in  one  day, — which  made  a  jour- 
ney in  all  of  two  hundred  and  thirteen  miles.  He  undertook 
to  ride  this  journey  with  several  horses  in  fifteen  hours,  but 
performed  it  in  twelve  hours  and  a  quarter.  This  remarkable 
feat  gave  rise  to  a  poem  called  the  Stilton  Hero,  which  was 
published  in  the  year  1745. 

Some  years  ago.  Lord  James  Cavendish  rode  from  Hyde 
Park  Comer  to  Windsor  Lodge,  which  is  upwards  of  twenty 
miles,  in  less  than  an  hour. 

Sir  Robert  Cary  rode  nearly  three  hundred  miles  in  less  than 
three  days,  when  he  went  from  London  to  Edinburgh  to  inform 
King  James  of  the  death  of  Queen  Elizabeth.  He  had  several 
falls  and  sore  bruises  on  the  road,  which  occasioned  his  going 
battered  and  bloody  into  the  royal  presence. 


420  THE  FANCIES  OP  PACT. 

Oq  the  29th  of  August,  1750,  was  decided  at  Newmarket  a 
remarkable  wager  for  one  thousand  guineas,  laid  bj  Theobald 
Taaf,  Esq.,  against  the  Earl  of  March  and  Lord  Eglinton,  who 
were  to  provide  a  four-wheel  carriage  with  a  man  in  it,  to  be 
drawn  by  four  horses  nineteen  miles  in  an  hour.  The  match 
was  performed  in  fifty-three  minutes  and  twenty-four  seconds. 
A.n  engraved  model  of  the  carriage  was  formerly  sold  in  the 
print-shops. 

The  Marquis  de  la  Fayette  rode  in  August,  1778,  from 
Bhode  Island  to  Boston,  nearly  seventy  miles  distant,  in  seven 
hours,  and  returned  in  six  and  a  half. 

Mr.  Fozard,  of  Park  Lane,  London,  for  a  wager  of  one  hun- 
dred and  fifty  pounds  against  one  hundred  pounds,  undertook  to 
ride  forty  miles  in  two  hours,  over  Epsom  course.  He  rode 
two  miles  more  than  had  been  agreed  on,  and  performed  it  in 
&ye  minutes  under  time,  in  October,  1789. 

Mr.  Wilde,  an  Irish  gentleman,  lately  rode  one  hundred  and 
twenty-seven  miles  on  the  course  of  Kildare,  in  Ireland,  in  six 
hours  and  twenty  minutes,  for  a  wager  of  one  thousand  guineas. 

The  famous  Count  de  Montgomery  escaped  from  the  massa- 
cre of  Paris  in  1572,  through  the  swiftness  of  his  horse,  which, 
according  to  a  manuscript  of  that  time,  carried  him  ninety  miles 
without  halting. 

WONDERFUL   HOESB. 

In  the  year  1609,  an  Englishman  named  Banks  had  a  horse 
which  he  had  trained  to  follow  him  wherever  he  went,  even 
over  fences  and  to  the  roofs  of  buildings.  He  and  his  horse 
went  to  the  top  of  that  immensely  high  structure,  St.  Paul's 
Church.  After  many  extraordinary  performances  at  home,  the 
horse  and  his  master  went  to  Rome,  where  they  performed  feats 
equally  astonishing.  But  the  result  was  that  both  Banks  and 
his  horse  were  burned,  by  order  of  the  Pope,  as  enchanters. 
Sir  Walter  Raleigh  observes,  that  had  Banks  lived  in  olden 
times,  he  would  have  shamed  all  the  enchanters  of  the  world, 
for  no  beast  ever  performed  such  wonders  as  his. 


THE   PANCIFS  OP   PACT.  421 

Fortunately  for  men  like  Thome,  and  Rice,  and  Fr&nooni, 
who  have  been  so  successful  in  training  the  noblest  animal  in 
creation  for  the  stage-representations  of  Mazeppa,  Putnam's 
Leap,  &c.,  and  for  the  various  and  fantastic  tricks  which  have 
won  so  much  admiration  and  applause,  the  present  age  is  not 
disgraced  by  such  besotted  ignorance  and  superstition. 

WONDERFUL  LOCK. 

Among  the  wonderful  products  of  art  in  the  French  Crystal 
Palace  was  shown  a  lock  which  admits  of  3,674,385  combina- 
tions. Heuret  passed  a  hundred  and  twenty  nights  in  locking 
it,  and  Fichet  was  four  months  in  unlocking  it ;  now  they  can 
neither  shut  nor  open  it. 

CELERITY   OF  CLOTH- MANUFACTURE. 

Many  accounts  have  been  published  of  the  celerity  with 
which  manufacturers  of  cloth,  both  English  and  American,  have 
completed  the  various  parts  of  the  process,  from  the  fleece 
to  the  garment.  In  England  the  fleece  was  taken  from  the 
sheep,  manufactured  into  cloth,  and  the  cloth  made  into  a  coat, 
in  the  short  space  of  thirteen  hours  and  twenty  minutes. 
Messrs.  Buck,  Brewster  &  Co.,  proprietors  of  the  Ontario  manu- 
fiustory  at  Manchester,  Vermont,  on  perusing  an  account  of  this 
English  achievement,  conceived,  from  the  perfection  of  their 
machinery  and  the  dexterity  of  their  workmen,  that  the  same 
operations  might  be  accomplished  even  in  a  shorter  time.  A 
wager  of  five  hundred  dollars  was  offered,  and  accepted,  that 
they  would  perform  the  same  operations  in  twelve  hours.  The 
wool  was  taken  from  the  sack  in  its  natural  state,  and  in  nine 
hours  and  fifteen  minutes  precisely,  the  coat  was  completed, 
and  worn  in  triumph  by  one  of  the  party  concerned.  The  wool 
was  picked,  greased,  carded,  roped,  and  spun, — the  yarn  was 
worked,  put  into  the  loom  and  woven, — the  cloth  was  fulled, 
colored,  and  four  times  shorn,  pressed,  and  carried  to  the 
tailor's,  and  the  coat  completed, — all  within  the  time  above  stated. 
The  cloth  was  not  of  the  finest  texture,  but  was  very  hand- 


422  THE  FANCIES  OP   FACT. 

somely  dressed^  aod  fitted  the  person  who  wore  it  remarkably 
well.  The  only  difference  between  this  and  the  English  experi- 
ment was  the  time  occupied  in  shearing  the  fleece ;  and  any 
wool-grower  knows  that  this  part  of  the  operation  may  be  per- 
formed in  ten  minutes. 

CBUDE  VALUE   VerSUS  INDUSTRIAL  VALUE. 

Algarotti,  in  his  Opuscula,  gives  the  following  example  to 
show  the  prodigious  addition  of  value  that  may  be  given  to  an 
object  by  skill  and  industry.  A  pound  weight  of  pig-iron  costs 
the  operative  manufacturer  about  five  cents.  This  is  worked 
up  into  steel,  of  which  is  made  the  little  spiral  spring  that 
moves  the  balance-wheel  of  a  watch.  Each  of  these  springs 
weighs  but  the  tenth  part  of  a  grain,  and,  when  completed,  may 
be  sold  as  high  as  $3.00,  so  that  out  of  a  pound  of  iron,  allow- 
ing something  for  the  loss  of  metal,  eighty  thousand  of  these 
springs  may  be  made,  and  a  substance  worth  but  five  cents  be 
wrought  into  a  value  of  $240,000. 

An  American  gentleman  says,  that  during  a  recent  visit  to 
Manchester,  England,  a  pound  of  cotton,  which  in  its  crude 
state  may  have  been  worth  eight  cents,  was  pointed  out  to  him 
as  worth  a  pound  of  gold.  It  had  been  spun  into  a  thread 
that  would  go  round  the  globe  at  the  equator  and  tie  in  a  good 
large  knot  of  many  hundred  miles  in  length. 

QUANTITY  AND  VALUE. 

For  what  is  worth  in  any  thing 

Bat  so  much  money  as  'twill  bring? — Butlbr. 

When  emeralds  were  first  discovered  in  America,  a  Spaniard 
carried  one  to  a  lapidary  in  Italy,  and  asked  him  what  it  was 
worth ;  he  was  told  a  hundred  escudos.  He  produced  a  second, 
which  was  larger;  and  that  was  valued  at  three  hundred.  Over- 
joyed at  this,  he  took  the  lapidary  to  his  lodging  and  showed 
him  a  chest  full ;  but  the  Italian,  seeing  so  many,  damped  his 
joy  by  saying,  "  Ah  ha,  Senor  !  so  many  ! — ^these  are  worth 
07i€  escudo.'' 


THE   FANCIES   OF   FACT.  423 

Monte Degro  presented  to  the  elder  Almagro  the  first  cat 
which  was  brought  to  South  America,  and  was  rewarded  for  it 
with  six  hundred  pesos.  The  first  couple  of  cats  which  were 
carried  to  Cuyaba  sold  for  a  pound  of  gold.  There  was  a 
plague  of  rats  in  the  settlement,  and  thej  were  purchased  as  a 
speculation,  which  proved  an  excellent  one.  Their  first  kittens 
produced  thirty  oitavas  each )  the  next  generation  were  worth 
twenty ;  and  the  price  gradually  fell  as  the  inhabitants  were 
stocked  with  these  beautiful  and  useful  creatures. 

Could  every  hnilstone  to  a  pearl  be  turned, 
Pearls  in  the  mart  like  oyster-shells  were  spumed ! 

AMOUNT   OF  GOLD  IN   THE   WORLD. 

Estimate  the  yard  of  gold  at  £2,000,000,  (which  it  is  in  round 
numbers,)  and  all  the  gold  in  the  world  might,  if  melted  into 
ingots,  be  co|itained  in  a  cellar  twenty-four  feet  square  and  six- 
teen feet  high.  All  the  boasted  wealth  already  obtained  from 
California  and  Australia  would  go  into  a  safe  nine  feet  square 
and  nine  feet  high )  so  small  is  the  cube  of  yellow  metal  that 
has  set  populations  on  the  march  and  occasioned  such  wondroufl 
revolutions  in  the  affairs  of  the  world. 

The  contributions  of  the  people,  in  the  time  of  David,  for 
the  sanctuary,  exceeded  £6,800,000.  The  immense  treasure 
David  is  said  to  have  collected  for  the  sanctuary  amounted  to 
£889,000,000  sterling,  (Crito  says  £798,000,000,)— a  sum 
greater  than  the  British  national  debt.  The  gold  with  which 
Solomon  overlaid  the  '<  most  holy  place,"  a  room  only  thir- 
teen feet  square,  amounted  to  more  than  thirty-eight  millions 
sterling. 

The  products  of  the  California  mines  from  1853  to  1858  are 
put  down  at  $443,091,000;  those  of  Australia,  since  their  dis- 
covery, at  $296,813,000;  or $739,904,000  in  all,— an increaseof 
about  one-third,  according  to  the  best  statistical  writers,  on  the 
value  of  this  precious  metal  known  in  1850.  The  total  value 
of  gold  in  the  world  at  the  present  time,  then,  is  but  little 
more  than  $3,000,000,000. 


424  THE   FANCIES   OF   PACT. 

IMMENSE   WEALTH  OF  THE  ROMANS. 

CrasBos'  landed  estate  was  valued  at        -        -  (8,333,330 

His  house  was  valued  at 400,000 

Caecilius  Isidorus,  after  having  lost  much,  left      -  5,235,800 

Demetrius,  a  freedman  of  Pompey,  was  worth  -  3,875,000 

Lentulus,  the  augur,  no  less  than         ...  16,666,666 

Olodius,  who  was  slain  by  Milo,  paid  for  his  house  616,66b 

He  once  swallowed  a  pearl  worth        ...  40,000 

Apicius  was  worth  more  than           ...  4,583,350 
And  after  he  had  spent  in  his  kitchen,  and  other- 
wise squandered,  immense  sums,  to  the  amount  of    4,166,666 

He  poisoned  himself,  leaving     ....  416^666 
The  establishment  belonging  to  M.  Scarus,  and 

burned  at  Tusculum,  was  valued  at      -        -  4,150,000 
Gifts  and  bribes  may  be  considered  signs  of  great 
riches :  Csrasar  presented  Servilia,  the  mother  of 

Brutus,  with  a  pearl  worth       -        -         -        -  200,000 
Paulus,  the  consul,  was  bribed  by  Csesar  with  the 

sum  of 292,000 

Curio  contracted  debts  to  the  amount  of     -        -  2,500,000 

Milo  contracted  a  debt  of     -        -        -        -  2,915,666 
Antony  owed  at  the  Ides  of  March,  which  he  paid 

before  the  Calends  of  April    ....  1,666,666 
He  had  squandered  altogether      -        -        -        735,000,000 

Seneca  had  a  fortune  of 17,500,000 

Tiberius  left  at  his  death,  and  Caligula  spent  in 

less  than  twelve  months,  -        -        -         118,120,000 

Caligula  spent  for  one  supper             ...  150,000 

Heliogabalus  in  the  same  manner          -         -  100,000 

The  suppers  of  Lucullus  at  the  Apollo  cost        -  8,330 
Horace  says  that  Pegellus,  a  singer,  could  in  five 

days  spend 40,000 

Herrius'  fish-ponds  sold  for           ...  166,000 
Calvinus  Labinus  purchased  many  learned  slaves, 

none  of  them  at  a  price  less  than  ...  4,165 
Stage-players  sold  much  higher. 


THE  FANCIES   OP   FACT.  425 

WINE   AT   TWO   MILLIONS   A  BOTTLE. 

Wine  at  two  millioDS  of  dollars  a  bottle  is  a  drink  that  in 
expense  would  rival  the  luxurious  taste  of  barbaric  splendor, 
when  priceless  pearls  were  thrown  into  the  wine-cup  to  give  a 
rich  flavor  to  its  contents;  yet  that  there  ia  such  a  costly 
beverage,  is  a  fixed  fact.  In  the  Rose  apartment  (so  called 
from  a  bronze  bas-relief)  of  the  ancient  cellar  under  the 
Hotel  de  Yille  in  the  city  of  Bremen  is  the  famous  Bosenwein, 
deposited  there  nearly  two  centuries  and  a  half  ago.  There 
were  twelve  large  cases,  each  bearing  the  name  of  one  of  the 
apostles;  and  the  wine  of  Judas,  despite  the  reprobation 
attached  to  his  name,  is  to  this  day  more  highly  esteemed 
than  the  others.  One  case  of  the  wine,  containing  five  oxhoft 
of  two  hundred  and  four  bottles,  cost  five  hundred  rix-dollars 
in  1624.  Including  the  expenses  of  keeping  up  the  cellar, 
and  of  the  contributions,  interests  of  the  amounts,  and  in- 
terests upon  interests,  an  oxhofb  costs  at  the  present  time 
555,657,640  rix-dollars,  and  consequently  a  bottle  is  worth 
2,723,812  rix-dollars;  a  glass,  or  the  eighth  part  of  a  bottle,  is 
worth  340,476  rix-dollars,  or  $272,380 ;  or  at  the  rate  of  540 
lix-dollars,  or  (272,  per  drop.  A  burgomaster  of  Bremen  is 
privileged  to  have  one  bottle  whenever  he  entertains  a  distin- 
guished guest  who  enjoys  a  German  or  European  reputation. 
The  fact  illustrates  the  operation  of  interest,  if  it  does  not 
show  the  cost  of  luxury. 

CAPACIOUS   BEEB-CASKS. 

A  few  years  before  Mr.  Thrale's  death,  which  happened  in 
1781,  an  emulation  arose  among  the  brewers  to  exceed  each 
other  in  the  size  of  their  casks  for  keeping  beer  to  a  certain 
age, — ^probably,  says  Sir  John  Hawkins,  taking  the  hint  from 
the  tun  at  Heidelberg,  of  which  the  following  is  a  description  : 

At  Heidelberg,  on  the  river  Neckar,  near  its  junction  with 
the  Rhine,  in  Germany,  there  was  a  tun  or  wine-vessel  con- 
structed in  1343,  which  contained  twenty-one  pipes.     Another 

36* 


426  THE  FANCIES   OF  FACT. 

was  made,  or  the  one  now  mentioned  rebuilt,  in  1664,  which 
held  six  hundred  hogsheads,  English  measure.  This  was  emp- 
tied, and  knocked  to  pieces  by  the  French,  in  1688.  But  a  new 
and  larger  one  was  afterwards  fabricated,  which  held  eight  hun- 
dred hogsheads.  It  was  formerly  kept  full  of  the  best  Ehenish 
wine,  and  the  Electors  have  given  many  entertainments  on  its 
platform ;  but  this  convivial  monument  of  ancient  hospitality  is 
now,  says  Mr.  Walker,  but  a  melancholy,  unsocial,  solitary  in- 
stance of  the  extinction  of  hospitality  :  it  moulders  in  a  damp 
vault,  quite  empty. 

The  celebrated  tun  at  K'onigstein  is  said  to  be  the  most  ca- 
pacious cask  in  the  world, — holding  1,869,236  pints.  The  top 
is  railed  in,  and  it  affords  room  for  twenty  people  to  regale 
themselves.  There  are  also  several  kinds  of  welcome-cups, 
which  are  offered  to  strangers,  who  are  invited  by  a  Latin  in- 
scription to  drink  to  the  prosperity  of  the  whole  universe 
This  enormous  tun  was  built  in  1725,  by  Frederick  Augustus, 
King  of  Poland  and  Elector  of  Saxony,  who,  in  the  inscrip- 
tion just  mentioned,  is  styled  ^^the  father  of  his  country,  the 
Titus  of  his  age,  and  the  delight  of  mankind.'' 

Dr.  Johnson  once  mentioned  that  his  friend  Thrale  had  four 
casks  so  large  that  each  of  them  held  one  thousand  hogsheads. 
But  Mr.  Meux,  of  Liquorpond  Street,  Gray's  Inn  Lane,  could, 
according  to  Mr.  Pennant,  show  twenty-four  vessels  containing 
in  all  thirty-five  thousand  barrels :  one  alone  held  four  thou- 
sand five  hundred  barrels ;  and  in  the  year  1790  this  enterpris- 
ing brewer  built  another,  containing  nearly  twelve  thousand 
barrels,  valued  at  about  £20,000.  A  dinner  was  given  to 
two  hundred  people  at  the  bottom  of  it,  and  two  hundred  more 
joined  the  company  to  drink  success  to  this  unrivalled  vat. 

DIFFERENCE  BETWEEN  THE   ENGLISH  POETS. 

Chaucer  describes  men  and  things  as  they  are  ;  Shakspcarc, 
as  they  would  be  under  the  circumstances  supposed ;  Spenser, 
as  we  would  msh  them  to  be;  Milton,  as  they  ought  to  be;  Byron, 
as  they  ought  not  to  be;  and  Shelley,  as  they  never  can  be. 


THE  FANCIES  Of  FACT.  427 

PEBIL8  OF  PRECOCITY. 

Baillet  mentions  one  hundred  and  sixty-three  children 
endowed  with  extraordinary  talents,  among  whom  few  arrived 
at  an  advanced  age.  The  two  sons  of  Quintilian  so  vaunted 
by  their  father  did  not  reach  their  tenth  year.  Hermogenes, 
who  at  the  age  of  fifteen  taught  rhetoric  to  Marcus  Aurelius, 
who  triumphed  over  the  most  celebrated  rhetoricians  of  Greece, 
did  not  die  at  an  early  age,  but  at  twenty-four  lost  his  faculties 
and  forgot  all  he  had  previously  acquired.  Pico  di  Mirandola 
died  at  thirty-two ;  Johannus  Secundus  at  twenty-five,  having 
at  the  age  of  fifteen  composed  admirable  Greek  and  Latin 
verses  and  become  profoundly  versed  in  jurisprudence  and 
letters.  Pascal,  whose  genius  developed  itself  when  ten  years 
old,  did  not  attain  the  third  of  a  century.  In  1791,  a  child 
was  born  at  Lubeck,  named  Henri  Heinneken,  whose  precocity 
was  miraculous.  At  ten  months  of  age  he  spoke  distinctly,  at 
twelve  learned  the  Pentateuch  by  rote,  and  at  fourteen  months 
was  perfectly  acquainted  with  the  Old  and  New  Testament 
At  two  years  he  was  as  familiar  with  geography  and  ancient 
history  as  the  most  erudite  authors  of  antiquity.  In  the 
ancient  and  modern  languages  he  was  a  proficient.  This  won- 
derful child  was  unfortunately  carried  off  in  his  fourth  year. 

THE  BLACK  HOLE  AT  CALCUTTA. 

This  celebrated  place  of  confinement  was  only  eighteen  feet 
by  eighteen,  containing,  therefore,  three  hundred  and  twenty-four 
square  feet.  When  Fort  William  was  taken,  in  1756,  by  Sura- 
jah  Dowla,  Nabob  of  Bengal,  one  hundred  and  forty-six  persons 
were  shut  up  in  the  Black  Hole.  The  room  allowed  to  each 
person  a  space  of  twenty-six  and  a  half  inches  by  twelve  inches, 
which  was  just  sufficient  to  hold  them  without  their  pressing 
violently  on  each  other.  To  this  dungeon  there  was  but  one  small 
grated  window,  and,  the  weather  being  very  sultry,  the  air 
within  could  neither  circulate  nor  be  changed.  In  less  than  an 
hour,  many  of  the  prisoners  were  attacked  with  extreme  diffi- 
oulty  of  breathing ;  several  were  delirious ;  and  the  place  was 


428  THE   FANCIES  OP  PACT. 

filled  with  incoherent  ravings,  in  which  the  cry  for  water  was 
predominant.  This  was  handed  them  by  the  sentinels,  but 
without  the  effect  of  allaying  their  thirst.  In  less  than  four 
hours,  many  were  suffocated,  or  died  in  violent  delirium.  In 
five  hours,  the  survivors,  except  those  at  the  grate,  were  frantic 
and  outrageous.  At  length  most  of  them  became  insensible. 
Eleven  hours  after  they  were  imprisoned,  twenty-three  only,  of 
the  one  hundred  and  forty-six,  came  out  alive,  and  those  were 
in  a  highly-putrid  fever,  from  which,  however,  by  fresh  air  and 
proper  attention,  they  gradually  recovered. 

STONE  BAROMETER. 

A  Finland  newspaper  mentions  a  stone  in  the  northern  part 
of  Finland,  which  serves  the  inhabitants  instead  of  a  barometer. 
This  stone,  which  they  call  Ilmakiur,  turns  black,  or  blackish 
gray,  when  it  is  going  to  rain,  but  on  the  approach  of  fine  wea- 
ther it  is  covered  with  white  spots.  Probably  it  is  a  fossil 
mixed  with  clay,  and  containing  rock-salt,  nitre,  or  ammonia, 
which,  according  to  the  greater  or  less  degree  of  dampness  of 
the  atmosphere,  attracts  it,  or  otherwise.  In  the  latter  case 
the  salt  appears,  forming  the  white  spots. 

BITTERNESS   OF   STRYCHNIA. 

Strychnia,  the  active  principle  of  the  Nuz  Vomica  bean, 
which  has  become  so  famous  in  the  annals  of  criminal  poison* 
ing,  is  so  intensely  bitter  that  it  will  impart  a  sensibly  bitter 
taste  to  six  hundred  thousand  times  its  weight  of  water. 

SALT,  AS  A  LUXURY. 

Mungo  Park  describes  salt  as  ''  the  greatest  of  all  luxuries  in 
Central  Africa.''  Says  he,  ''It  would  appear  strange  to  a 
European  to  see  a  child  suck  a  piece  of  rock-salt,  as  if  it  were 
sugar.  This,  however,  I  have  frequently  seen;  although  ia 
the  inland  parts  the  poorer  class  of  inhabitants  are  so  very 
rarely  indulged  with  this  precious  article,  that  to  say  a  man 
eats  salt  with  his  victuals  is  the  same  as  saying  that  he  u  a 


THE  FANCIES   OP  FACT.  429 

rich  man.  I  have  myself  suffered  great  inconvenieDce  from 
the  Boarcitj  of  this  article.  The  long-con tinued  use  of  vege- 
table food  creates  so  painful  a  longing  for  salt,  that  no  words 
can  sufficiently  describe  it." 

SINQULAR  CHANGE  OF   TASTE. 

The  sense  by  which  we  appreciate  the  sweetness  of  bodies  is 
liable  to  singular  modifications.  Thus,  the  leaves  of  the  Gyin- 
nema  si/lvestre, — a  plant  of  Northern  India, — when  chewed, 
take  away  the  power  of  tasting  sugar  for  twenty-four  hours, 
without  otherwise  injuring  the  general  sense  of  taste. 

BLUNDERS   OF   PAINTERS. 

Tintoret,  an  Italian  painter,  in  a  picture  of  the  Children  of 
Israel  gathering  manna,  has  taken  the  precaution  to  arm  them 
with  the  modern  invention  of  guns.  Cigoli  painted  the  aged 
Simeon  at  the  circumcision  of  the  infant  Saviour ;  and  as  aged 
men  in  these  days  wear  spectacles,  the  artist  has  shown  his 
sagacity  by  placing  them  on  Simeon's  nose.  In  a  picture  by 
Verrio  of  Christ  healing  the  sick,  the  lookers-on  are  represented 
as  standing  with  periwigs  on  their  heads.  To  match,  or  rather 
to  exceed,  this  ludicrous  representation,  Durer  has  painted  the 
expulsion  of  Adam  and  Eve  from  the  Garden  of  Eden  by  an 
angel  in  a  dress  fashionably  trimmed  with  flounces.  The  same 
painter,  in  his  scene  of  Peter  denying  Christ,  represents  a 
Koman  soldier  very  comfortably  smoking  a  pipe  of  tobacco.  A 
Dutch  painter,  in  a  picture  of  the  Wise  Men  worshipping  the 
Holy  Child,  has  drawn  one  of  them  in  a  large  white  surplice, 
and  in  boots  and  spurs,  and  he  is  in  the  act  of  presenting  to 
the  child  a  model  of  a  Dutch  man-of-war.  In  a  Dutch  picture 
of  Abraham  offering  up  his  son,  instead  of  the  patriarch's 
'<  stretching  forth  bis  hand  and  taking  the  knife/'  as  the  Scrip- 
tures inform  us,  he  is  represented  as  using  a  more  effectual  and 
modern  instrument :  he  is  holding  to  Isaac's  head  a  blunder- 
boss,  Berlin  represents  in  a  picture  the  Virgin  and  Child  lis- 
tening to  a  violin ;  and  in  another  picture  he  has  drawn  King 


430  THE  FANCIES   OF   FACT. 

David  playing  the  harp  at  the  marriage  of  Christ  with  St. 
Catherine.  A  French  artist  has  drawn,  with  trae  French 
taste,  the  Lord's  Supper,  with  the  table  ornamented  with  tum- 
blers filled  with  cigar-lighters ;  and,  as  if  to  crown  the  list  of 
these  absurd  and  ludicrous  anachronisms,  the  garden  of  Eden 
has  been  drawn  with  Adam  and  Eve  in  all  their  primeval  sim- 
plicity and  virtue,  while  near  them,  in  full  costume,  is  seen  a 
hunter  with  a  gun,  shooting  ducks. 

MINUTE   MECHANISM. 

There  is  a  cherry-stone  at  the  Salem  (Mass.)  Museum,  which 
contains  one  dozen  silver  spoons.  The  stone  itself  is  of  the 
ordinary  size ;  but  the  spoons  are  so  small  that  their  shape  and 
finish  can  only  be  well  distinguished  by  the  microscope.  Here 
is  the  result  of  immense  labor  fur  no  decidedly  useful  purpose; 
and  there  are  thousands  of  other  objects  in  the  world  fashioned 
by  ingenuity,  the  value  of  which,  in  a  utilitarian  sense,  may  be 
said  to  be  quite  as  indifferent.  Dr.  Oliver  gives  an  account  of 
a  cherry-stone  on  which  were  carved  one  hundred  and  twenty- 
four  heads,  so  distinctly  that  the  naked  eye  could  distinguish 
those  belonging  to  popes  and  kings  by  their  mitres  and  crowns. 
It  was  bought  in  Prussia  for  fifteen  thousand  dollars,  and  thence 
conveyed  to  England,  where  it  was  considered  an  object  of  so 
much  value  that  its  possession  was  disputed,  and  it  became  the 
object  of  a  suit  in  chancery.  One  of  the  Nuremberg  toy- 
makers  enclosed  in  a  cherry-stone,  which  was  exhibited  at  the 
French  Crystal  Palace,  a  plan  of  Sevastopol,  a  railway-station, 
and  the  '^  Messiah"  of  Klopstock.  In  more  remote  times,  an 
account  is  given  of  an  ivory  chariot,  constructed  by  Merme- 
cides,  which  was  so  small  that  a  fly  could  cover  it  with  his 
wing ;  also  a  ship  of  the  same  material,  which  could  be  hidden 
under  the  wing  of  a  bee !  Pliny,  too,  tells  us  that  Homer's 
Iliad,  with  its  fifteen  thousand  verses,  was  written  in  so  small  a 
space  as  to  be  contained  in  a  nutshell;  while  Elian  mentions 
an  artist  who  wrote  a  distich  in  letters  of  gold,  which  he  en- 
closed in  the  rind  of  a  kernel  of  corn.     But  the  Harleian  MS 


THE  FANCIF.S   OF   FACT.  431 

mentions  a  greater  curiosity  than  any  of  the  above,  it  being  no- 
thing more  nor  less  than  the  Bible,  written  by  one  Peter  Bales, 
a  chancery  clerk,  in  so  small  a  book  that  it  could  bo  enclosed 
within  the  shell  of  an  English  walnut.  Disraeli  gives  an  ac- 
count of  many  other  exploits  similar  to  the  one  of  Bales. 
There  is  a  drawing  of  the  head  of  Charles  II.  in  the  library  of 
St.  John's  College,  Oxford,  wholly  composed  of  minute  written 
characters,  which  at  a  small  distance  resemble  the  lines  of  an 
engraving.  The  head  and  the  raff  are  said  to  contain  the  book 
of  Psalms,  in  Greek,  and  the  Lord's  Prayer.  In  the  British 
Museum  is  a  portrait  of  Queen  Anne,  not  much  larger  than 
the  hand.  On  this  drawing  are  a  number  of  lines  and  scratches, 
which,  it  is  asserted,  comprise  the  entire  contents  of  a  thin 
folio.  The  modern  art  of  Photography  is  capable  of  effecting 
wonders  in  this  way.  We  have  before  us  the  Declaration  of 
Independence,  containing  seven  thousand  eight  hundred  letters, 
on  a  space  not  larger  than  the  head  of  a  pin,  which,  when 
viewed  through  a  microscope,  may  be  read  distinctly. 

THE  RATIO   OF  THE  DIAMETER  TO   THE   OIRCUMPERENCE. 

The  proportion  of  the  diameter  of  a  circle  to  its  circumfer- 
ence has  never  yet  been  exactly  ascertained.  Nor  can  a  square 
or  any  other  right-lined  figure  be  found  that  shall  be  equal  to  a 
given  circle.  This  is  the  celebrated  problem  called  the  squar- 
ing of  the  circle,  which  has  exercised  the  abilities  of  the  great- 
est mathematicians  for  ages  and  been  the  occasion  of  so  many 
disputes.  Several  persons  of  considerable  eminence  have,  at 
different  timeS;  pretended  that  they  had  discovered  the  exact 
quadrature  ]  but  their  errors  have  readily  been  detected ;  and  it 
is  now  generally  looked  upon  as  a  thing  impossible  to  be  done. 

But  though  the  relation  between  the  diameter  and  circum- 
ference cannot  be  accurately  expressed  in  known  numbers,  it 
may  yet  be  approximated  to  any  assigned  degree  of  exactness. 
And  in  this  manner  was  the  problem  solved,  about  two  thou- 
sand years  ago,  by  the  great  Archimedes,  who  discovered  the 
proportion  to  be  nearly  as  seven  to  twenty-two.     The  procesa 


432  THE   FANCIES   OF  FACT. 

by  which  he  effected  this  may  be  seen  Id  his  book  De  J/Cnien- 
done  Circvli.  The  same  proportion  was  also  discovered  by 
Phiio  GadareDsis  and  ApoUonius  Pergeus  at  a  still  earlier 
period,  as  we  are  informed  by  Eutocius. 

The  proportion  of  Yieta  and  Metins  is  that  of  one  hundred 
and  thirteen  to  three  hundred  and  fifty-five,  which  is  a  little 
more  exact  than  the  former.  It  was  derived  from  the  pre- 
tended quadrature  of  a  M.  Van  Eick,  which  first  gave  rise  to 
the  discovery. 

But  the  first  who  ascertained  this  ratio  to  any  great  degree 
of  exactness  was  Van  Ceulcn,  a  Dutchman,  in  his  book  De 
CirctUo  et  Ad&criptis.  He  found  that  if  the  diameter  of  a 
circle  was  1,  the  circumference  would  be  3-14159265358979- 
3238462643383279502884  nearly;  which  is  exactly  true  to 
thirty-six  places  of  decimals,  and  was  effected  by  the  continual 
bisection  of  an  arc  of  a  circle,  a  method  so  extremely  trouble- 
some and  laborious  that  it  must  have  cost  him  incredible  pains. 
It  is  said  to  have  been  thought  so  curious  a  performance  that 
the  numbers  were  cut  on  his  tombstone  in  St.  Peter's  church- 
yard, at  Leyden. 

But  since  the  invention  of  fluxions,  and  the  summation  of 
infinite  series,  several  methods  have  been  discovered  for  doing 
the  same  thing  with  much  more  ease  and  expedition.  Euler 
and  other  eminent  raathematiciaDs  have  by  these  means  given 
a  quadrature  of  the  circle  which  is  true  to  more  than  one  hun- 
dred places  of  decimals, — a  proportion  so  extremely  near  the 
truth  that,  unless  the  ratio  could  be  completely  obtained,  we 
need  not  wish  for  a  greater  degree  of  accuracy. 

MATHEMATICAL  PBODIOIES. 

They  with  the  pen  or  pencil  problems  solred ; 
He,  with  no  aid  bat  wondrous  memory. 

Prominent  among  the  precocious  mathematicians  of  the  pre- 
sent day  is  a  colored  boy  in  Kentucky,  named  William  Marcy, 
whose  feats  in  mental  arithmetic  are  truly  wonderful.  His 
powers  of  computation  appear  to  be  fully  equal  to  those  of  Bid- 


THE  FANCIES  OP   PACT.  433 

der,  BuxtoD;  G-raDdimange,  Colburn,  or  Safford.  He  can  mul- 
tiplj  or  divide  millions  by  thousands  in  a  few  minutes  from  the 
time  the  figures  are  given  to  him,  and  always  with  the  utmost 
exactness.  Kecentlj,  in  the  presence  of  a  party  of  gentlemen, 
he  added  a  column  of  figures,  eight  in  a  line,  and  one  hundred 
and  eighty  lines,  making  the  sum  total  of  several  millions, 
within  six  minutes.  The  feat  was  so  astounding,  and  appa- 
rently incredible,  that  several  of  the  party  took  oflf  their  coats, 
and,  dividing  the  sum,  went  to  work,  and  in  two  hours  after 
they  commenced  produced  identically  the  same  answers.  The 
boy  is  not  quite  seventeen  years  of  age ;  he  cannot  read  nor 
write,  and  in  every  other  branch  of  an  English  education  is 
entirely  deficient.  It  is  worthy  of  remark  that  mathematics 
is  the  only  department  of  science  in  which  such  feats  of  im- 
becile minds  can  be  achieved.  The  supposition  would  not,  a 
priori,  be  admissible ;  but  frequent  facts  prove  it.  A  negro, 
a  real  idiot,  was  not  long  since  reported  in  Alabama,  who  could 
beat  this  Kentuckian  in  figures,  but  could  scarcely  do  any  thing 
else  worthy  of  a  human  intellect.  Precocious  mathematicians, 
not  imbecile;  have  usually  turned  out  poorly ;  few  of  them,  like 
Pascal,  have  shown  any  general  capacity.  These  facts  suggest 
inferences  unfortunate  for  mathematical  genius,  if  not  for 
mathematical  studies.  They  have  sublime  relations,  in  their 
"mixed"  form,  with  our  knowledge  of  the  universe;  but  their 
relations  to  genius — to  human  sentiments  and  sensibilities — to 
the  moral  and  ideal  in  humanity, — are,  to  say  the  least,  quite 
equivocal.  The  calculating  power  alone  would  seem  to  be  the 
least  of  human  qualities,  and  to  have  the  smallest  amount  of 
reason  in  it ;  since  a  machine  like  Babbage's  can  be  made  to 
do  the  work  of  three  or  four  calculators,  and  better  than  any 
of  them. 

EXTRAOBDINABY   MEMORY. 

Lipsius  made  this  offer  to  a  German  prince  : — Sit  here  with 
a  poniard,  and  if  in  repeating  Tacitus  from  beginning  to  end  I 
miss  a  single  word,  stab  me.  I  will  freely  bare  my  breast  for 
you  to  strike. 

2C  37 


434  THE   FANCIES   OF   FACT. 

Muretus  tells  us  of  a  young  Corsican,  a  law-student  at  Padua, 
who  could,  without  hesitation,  repeat  thirty-six  thousand  Latin, 
Greek,  or  barbarous  words,  signiticant  or  insignificant,  upon  once 
hearing  them.  Muretus  himseU*  tested  his  wonderful  memory, 
and  avers  all  alleged  respecting  it  to  be  strictly  true. 

Mr.  Carruthers^  in  the  course  of  a  lecture  on  Scottish  history 
mentioned  an  instance  of  Sir  Walter  Scott's  wonderful  mem- 
ory :  "  I  have  heard  Campbell  relate  how  strongly  Scott  was  im- 
pressed with  his  (Campbell's)  poem  of  Lochid's  Warning.  'L 
read  it  to  him  in  manuscript,'  he  said ;  *  he  then  asked  to  read 
it  over  himself,  which  he  did  slowly  and  distinctly,  afrer  which 
he  handed  to  me  the  manuscript,  saying,  *  Take  cai-e  of  your 
copyright,  for  I  have  got  your  poem  by  heart,'  and  with  only 
these  two  readings  he  repeated  the  poem  with  scarcely  a  mistake.' 
Certainly  an  extraordinary  instance  of  memory,  for  the  piece  con- 
tains eighty-eight  lines.  The  subject,  however,  was  one  which 
could  not  fail  powerfully  to  arrest  Scott's  attention,  and  versifica- 
tion and  diction  are  such  as  are  easily  caught  up  and  remembered." 

SILENT   COMPLIMENT. 

While  an  eloquent  clergyman  was  addressing  a  religious 
society,  he  intimated,  more  than  once,  that  he  was  admonished  to 
conclude  by  the  lateness  of  the  hour.  His  discourse,  however, 
was  so  attractive  that  some  ladies  in  the  gallery  covered  the 
clock  with  their  shawls. 

SELF-IMMOLATION. 

Comyn,  Bishop  of  Durham,  having  quarrelled  with  his  cler- 
gy, they  mixed  poison  with  the  wine  of  the  Eucharist,  and 
gave  it  to  him.  He  perceived  the  poison,  but  yet,  with  mis- 
guided devotion,  he  drank  it  and  died. 

THE   NEED   OF   PROVIDENCE. 

Cecil  says  in  his  Remains : — We  require  the  same  hand  to  pro- 
tects us  in  apparent  safety  as  in  the  most  imminent  and  palpaHe 
danger.  One  of  the  most  wicked  men  in  my  neighborhood  was 
riding  near  a  precipice  and  fell  over:  his  horse  was  killed,  but 
he  escaped  without  injury.    Instead  of  thanking  God  for  his 


THE   FANCIES   OF   FACT.  435 

deliverance,  he  refused  to  acknowledge  the  hand  of  God  in  it, 
but  attributed  his  escape  to  chance.  The  same  man  was  after- 
wards riding  on  a  very  smooth  road :  his  horse  suddenly  fell  and 
threw  his  rider  over  his  head,  and  killed  him  on  the  spot,  while 
the  horse  escaped  unhurt. 

DIMENSIONS   OF    HEAVEN. 
Aod  he  measared  the  city  with  the  reed,  twelve  thousand  furlongs.   The 
length,  and  the  breadth,  and  the  height  of  it  are  equal. — Rev.  xxi.  16. 

Twelve  thousand  furlongs,  7,920,000  feet,  which  being 
cubed,  496,793,088,000,000,000,000  cubic  feet.  Half  of  this 
we  will  reserve  lor  the  Throne  of  God  and  the  Court  of  Heaven, 
and  half  the  balance  for  streets,  leaving  a  remainder  of  124,- 
198,272,000,000,000,000  cubic  feet.  Divide  this  by  4,096, 
the  cubical  feet  in  a  room  sixteen  feet  square,  and  there  will 
be  30,321,843,750,000,000  rooms. 

We  will  now  suppose  the  world  always  did  and  always  will 
contain  990,000,000  inhabitante,  and  that  a  generation  lasts  for 
33J  years,  making  in  all  2,970,000,000  every  century,  and  that 
the  world  will  stand  100,000  years,  or  1,000  centuries,  making 
in  all  2,970,000,000,000  inhabitants.  Then  suppose  there  were 
one  hundred  worlds  equal  to  this  in  number  of  inhabitants  and 
duration  of  years,  making  a  total  of  297,000,000,000,000  per- 
sons, and  there  would  be  more  than  a  hundred  rooms  sixteen 
feet  square  for  each  person. 

THE   COST   OF   SOLOMON*S   TEMPLE. 

According  to  the  computation  of  Villalpandus,  the  talents  of 
gold,  silver,  and  brass,  used  in  the  construction  of  the  Temple, 
amounted  to  £6,879,822,500.  The  jewels  are  reckoned  to  have 
exceeded  this  sum ;  but,  for  the  sake  of  an  estimate,  let  their  value 
be  set  down  at  the  same  amount.  The  vessels  of  gold  (vasa 
aitrra)  consecrated  to  the  use  of  the  Temple  are  reckoned  by  Jose- 
phus  at  140,000  talents,  which,  according  to  CapeFs  reduction, 
are  equal  to  £545,296,203.  The  vessels  of  silver  {vasa  argmtea) 
are  computed  at  1,340,000  talents,  or  £489,344,000.  The  silk 
vestments  of  the  priests  cost  £10,000;  the  purple  vestments 


436  THE  FANCIES  OP   FACT. 

of  the  singers,  £2,000,000.  The  trumpcUi  amounted  to 
£200,000 ;  other  musical  instruments  to  £40,000.  To  these 
expenses  must  be  added  those  of  the  other  materials,  the  tim- 
ber and  stone,  and  of  the  labor  employed  upon  them,  the  labor 
being  divided  thus :  there  were  10,000  men  engaged  aft  Leba- 
non in  hewing  timber  (silvicidsR) ;  there  were  70,000  bearers  of 
burdens  (yectores) ;  20,000  hewers  of  stone  (lapicidinm) ;  and 
3,300  overseers  (epucopi)]  all  of  whom  were  employed  for 
seven  years,  and  upon  whom,  besides  their  wages  and  diet, 
Solomon  bestowed  £6,733,977  (donum  Solomonis).  If  the 
daily  food  and  wages  of  each  man  be  estimated  at  4s.  6c2.,  the 
sum  total  will  be  £93,877,088.  The  costly  stone  and  the  tim- 
ber in  the  rough  may  be  set  down  as  at  least  equal  to  one-third 
of  the  gold,  or  about  £2,545,296,000.  The  several  estimates 
will  then  amount  to  £17,442,442,268,  or  $77,521,965,636. 

THE   NUMBER   SEVEN. 

In  the  year  1502  there  was  printed  at  Leipsic  a  work  en- 
titled Heptalogium  Virgilii  ScUsburgensis,  in  honor  of  the 
number  seven.  It  consists  of  seven  parts,  each  consisting  of 
seven  divisions.  In  1624  appeared  in  London  a  curious  work 
on  the  subject  of  numbers,  bearing  the  following  title :  The 
Secrets  of  Numbers^  according  to  Theological,  Arithmetical^ 
Geometrtcaly  and  Harmonical  Computation  ;  drawn,  for  the 
better  part,  out  of  those  Ancients,  as  well  as  Neotcriqtces. 
Pleasing  to  read,  profitable  to  understand,  opening  themselves 
to  the  capacities  of  both  learned  and  unlearned;  being  no 
other  than  a  key  to  lead  men  to  any  doctrinal  knowledge  what- 
soever. In  the  ninth  chapter  the  author  has  given  many  nota- 
ble opinions  from  learned  men,  to  prove  the  excellency  of  the 
number  seven,  "  First,  it  neither  begets  nor  is  begotten,  accord- 
ing to  the  saying  of  Philo.  Some  numbers,  indeed,  within  the 
compass  of  ten,  beget,  but  are  not  begotten ;  and  that  is  the 
nnarie.  Others  are  begotten,  but  beget  not  -,  as  the  octonarie. 
Only  the  septenarie,  having  a  prerogative  above  them  all,  nei- 
ther begetteth  nor  is  begotten.     This  is  its  first  divinity  ot 


THB   FANCIES  OP  FACT.  437 

perfection.  Secondly,  this  is  a  barmonical  number,  and  the 
well  and  fountain  of  that  fair  and  lovely  Digamnuif  because  it 
includeth  within  itself  all  manner  of  harmony.  Thirdly,  it  is 
a  theological  number,  consisting  of  perfection.  Fourthly,  be 
cause  of  its  compositure ;  for  it  is  compounded  of  the  first  two 
perfect  numbers  equal  and  unequal, — three  and  four;  for  the 
number  two,  consisting  of  repeated  unity,  which  is  no  number, 
is  not  perfect.  Now,  every  one  of  these  being  excellent  of 
themselves,  (as  hath  been  demonstrated,)  how  can  this  number 
be  but  far  more  excellent,  consisting  of  them  all,  and  partici- 
pating, as  it  were,  of  all  their  excellent  virtues  ?" 

Hippocrates  says  that  the  septenary  number  by  its  occult 
virtue  tends  to  the  accomplishment  of  all  things,  is  the  dis- 
penser of  life  and  fountain  of  all  its  changes ;  and,  like  Shak- 
speare,  he  divides  the  life  of  man  into  seven  ages.  In  seven 
months  a  child  may  be  born  and  live,  and  not  before.  An- 
ciently a  child  was  not  named  before  seven  days,  not  being  ac- 
counted fully  to  have  life  before  that  periodical  day.  The  teeth 
spring  out  in  the  seventh  month,  and  are  renewed  in  the 
seventh  year,  when  infancy  is  changed  into  childhood.  At 
thrice  seven  years  the  faculties  are  developed,  manhood  com- 
mences, and  we  become  legally  competent  to  all  civil  acts ;  at 
four  times  seven  man  is  in  the  full  possession  of  his  strength ; 
at  five  times  seven  he  is  fit  for  the  business  of  the  world ;  at  six 
times  seven  he  becomes  grave  and  wise,  or  never;  at  seven 
times  seven  he  is  in  his  apogee,  and  from  that  time  he  decays. 
At  eight  times-  seven  he  is  in  his  first  climacteric;  at  nine 
times  seven,  or  sixty-three,  he  is  in  his  grand  climacteric,  or 
year  of  danger;  and  ten  times  seven,  or  threescore  years  and 
ten,  has,  by  the  Royal  Prophet,  been  pronounced  the  natural 
period  of  human  life. 

In  six  days  creation  was  perfected,  and  the  seventh  was  con- 
secrated to  rest.  On  the  seventb  of  the  seventh  month  a  holy 
observance  was  ordained  to  the  children  of  Israel,  who  feasted 
seven  days  and  remai/ied  seven  days  in  rest ;  the  seventh  year 
was  directed  to  be  a  sabbath  of  rest  for  all  things ;  and  at  the 

37* 


438  T