Table Of Contents
1. Stigma in the Finder I (Finder no Rakuin)
2. Stigma in the Finder II (Finder no Rakuin)
3. Stigma in the Finder III (Finder no Rakuin)
4. Stigma in the Finder IV (Finder no Rakuin)
5. Stigma in the Finder V (Finder no Rakuin)
6. Stigma in the Finder VI (Finder no Rakuin)
Stigma in the Finder I (Finder no Rakuin)
Hey everyone!:) So this is my shot at an English translation of the light novel
Finder no Rakuin by Satoko Ai based on Yamane Ayano's yaoi manga You're my
Loveprize in Viewfinder. Before it starts, I just wanted to say a few things.
First of all, I'm no professional, and I did this for the mere fun of it and to share
it with those people who haven't had a chance to read the novel yet. It's also the
first time I've done something like this, so please don't be too hard on me. ( J _ L )
It was a lot of work, but I had a blast doing it, and I want to thank my amazing
proofreaders, Felver and Scheming Rabbit , for being such a great help and
putting up with my perfectionism... really, thank you guys so much. ¥
I also want to point out that this is a translation of the German version of the
novel, since I neither own the original nor speak Japanese -1 have no idea how
accurate that version is to begin with, but at times it is kinda strange, so I did my
best to stick as close to it as possible while also taking some liberties so as to
make it sound better. In terms of the names, I went with the Asian name order,
meaning last name comes first, first name comes last, and I also spelled the
names the way they were in the book. (The only exception is Mikhail... they
called him 'Michel Albatof', and let's face it, that doesn't sound half as epic as
Mikhail Arrrbatov. :3)
And of course this contains mature content (18+).;)
Well, I think that was long enough... with all that said, please enjoy! A
The nights in Taiwan are filled with temptations and allure.
The modern country is dotted with skyscrapers; crowds of people and vehicles
worm their way through the narrow streets. However, if you depart from the
main road, an intimate townscape opens up, scattered with old mausoleums and
temples - a sight that lives up to the second name of Taiwan, the illustrious bird.
In a corner of those tangled alleyways is a marketplace where there is hustle
and bustle all night. The stalls, also called Lubiantan, stand brightly lit in the
hubbub as if there was a festival at all times. In these shopping streets, which are
visited by many tourists as well, various different languages aside from the Asian
ones are spoken, and the aroma of food mingles with the oppressive sultriness.
At a food stand of this nightly market, a guest rose from his seat. His wallet in
his hand, he called into the kitchen, "I'd like to pay, please!"
On the menu of the shop run by a taciturn elderly married couple were the
usual dishes, like noodles with beef, or minced meat and rice.
"I'll come again," he said. After having paid, he left the shop, stepping over the
old mongrel at the exit. Woken by the loud cry of thanks from the shop owner,
the dozing dog lifted his head and sleepily wagged his tail. He yawned and
panted, his fat belly wrinkling up. It was only in the rarest of cases that this
thoroughly human-loving dog barked. The guest disappeared, and the loud sizzle
of the oil seething in the pots sounded. Thereupon, the dog laid his head back on
his forepaws. He gazed after the people walking past him and slowly fell asleep
again. A day like any other in this shop.
A short time later, the back door of the kitchen opened and a young man
loaded with garbage bags stepped outside. He seemed to belong to the staff; in
addition to his ordinary outfit composed of a polo shirt and cotton pants, he
wore the white apron of the shop around his hips. As opposed to the lighted,
noisy side of the street, the back side of the shop was isolated and deserted. As if
the man were merging with the subtropical, humid air, he hurried forward with a
hunched back. In his demeanor he resembled a cat, with his soundless stride and
his inky black hair.
He went directly to the giant garbage containers and threw the trash inside in
one skillful movement. Together with a loud crash, a biting smell of something
rotting reached his nostrils. The shop was obviously thriving, as the container
was filled with kitchen waste. Once he finished, the man sighed briefly and took
off his apron, then casually tucked it under his arm and paused next to the
running ventilator. Before returning into the shop, he apparently wanted to
allow himself a smoke break. He leaned his back against the wall and put the
cigarette he had just pulled out of his pocket into his mouth. As he looked up, his
hair, which had covered his face before, fell to the side so that narrow eyes were
revealed through a gap. Glimmering sparks were reflected in his dark eyes like
bright lightning. A red glow lit up the darkness like a firefly, and with a pleased
sigh he took a slow pull on his cigarette. But at this very moment, his breath
faltered; he noticed another person was there. His senses suddenly were on
"So this is where you are prowling around, Yoh?" a voice sounded.
Slowly, a silhouette loomed up. When the man who had just been referred to
as Yoh recognized the figure appearing out of thin air, the cigarette quietly fell
from his mouth to the ground. The ambient noise seemed to lapse into silence
and the apron soundlessly slipped from his arm.
"Long time no see," the silhouette continued. "Did you lose weight?"
The person laughed quietly as though they were poking fun at him. It was a
man with a tall, slender build. His hoodie, which made him look like one of the
teenagers from around the area, was probably supposed to serve the purpose of
not attracting attention. The hood hung so low that his face was not
recognizable, yet his long hair peeking out from under it gave him away, as well
as his calm way of speaking.
"Master... Feilong..." Yoh pressed out while staying nestled to the wall and
clenching his now sweaty hands.
Liu Feilong. Officially he posed as a successful businessman from Hong Kong,
but covertly he was the young head of the drug syndicate Baishe, which was not
only spread in China but throughout all of Asia. He was known for controlling the
underworld of Hong Kong, but he rarely acted personally. Only a few months
ago, Yoh had still been commanded by Feilong.
"Who would have thought that you'd do such lowly work in Taiwan after you
disappeared from my side."
With his slim fingers, Feilong seized the rim of his hood and let it slide onto his
shoulders. In the twilight, a pale face appeared.
It had been a long time since Yoh had last seen those cold, beautiful features.
This unaltered graceful appearance made him swallow. He had not thought he
would ever see Feilong again. With this getup, who would realize that in reality
this man, whose appearance fused with the dark, was the boss of the Baishe?
Despite his bafflement, Yoh stayed at a safe distance from Feilong and looked at
"What is it, Yoh? You look as if you've seen a ghost." Feilong came to a halt
before him, smiling.
Yoh gathered his wits together and finally found his voice again. "It's nothing...
I just hadn't expected to meet you here."
When he noticed smoke rising from underneath his feet, he ground the
cigarette under his heel. The two men were facing each other. A tepid wind blew
through the alley and rippled their hair in the breeze.
"I could say the same to you. You can't tell me Asami wouldn't have taken you
under his wing."
Asami Ryuichi - a mediator who pulled the strings in the background of the
Japanese politics and economy. The memory of the fateful fight on board the
casino ship was still rather fresh; the Russian mafia had also been involved in the
incident. After Chou snatched away the haul of a big drug deal from under the
Baishe's nose, he fled to Japan. That had been the beginning of all disputes.
Feilong followed him to Japan and managed to eliminate Chou, who in turn had
asked Asami to smuggle him into Europe. But immediately thereafter, a shootout
occurred between the mediator, Asami, and the head of the Baishe, Feilong.
Feilong wounded Asami, and in spite of his own injury he abducted Asami's
lover, who had been present at the gunfight as well, to Hong Kong. The name of
the lover was Takaba Akihito, a photographer. To win him back, Asami held the
deeds of ownership to the casino, stolen from Feilong's hand, as leverage.
Takaba eventually made Feilong agree to the bargain, and a luxury casino ship on
the sea of Hong Kong was supposed to be the scene of negotiations. But the
Russian mafia, smelling money and power, had taken part in the debate, and for
a moment, the deck of the ship had turned into a bloody show of war.
Eventually, Feilong traded Takaba for the deeds and everything came to a close,
but it had not gone unnoticed by Feilong that Yoh had, in the background, had a
hand in this. For seven years he had played Feilong's loyal man, but in truth he
had been smuggled into the Baishe on behalf of the Japanese adversary Asami,
to supervise every one of Feilong's movements. When the latter learned that his
subordinate, whom he had trusted, was in reality Asami's spy, he had fumed
with rage. Yoh knew of Feilong's hidden temper and gulped.
"And what are you doing here now? Are you going to get rid of me?"
The punishment for traitors was gruesome. When Yoh's breach of fidelity
against Feilong had been uncovered, he had been captured by the Baishe and
put in the pillory for high treason. But he had not been able to die yet, not
before having brought back Takaba to Asami's side undamaged. Otherwise the
previous seven years would have been for nothing. Driven by his duty, he had
managed to free himself from captivity and taken advantage of the disturbances
to go to Takaba Akihito's rescue. It was proof of having been Asami's loyal
subordinate for seven years, and at the same time probably penance for having
deceived Feilong for such a long time. But that had not been his only thoughts. If
he were to die anyway, he had wanted to lay his fate into Feilong's hands, for
after things had straightened out, it had been in his power to decide about Yoh's
life; however, he had not delivered his verdict. What had been going on inside
Feilong, who now held the deeds in his hands, had not interested Yoh. Fie fled
from the deck of the ship unnoticed, distanced himself from the Baishe, and left
for Taiwan on his own. With the help of a few connections, he mixed with the
people of the nightly market and was now working there as an employee at a
food stand. But even now it was still mostly contract killings that kept his head
above the water. No matter where one was, one would first get a foot in the
door of shady characters. It was not so easy to whitewash oneself, even after
turning one's back on an organization.
"What is the meaning of your coming here? You hardly would have come to
merely greet me."
Feilong's eyes flared up at this question. "Are you intrigued?"
A mafia don had many enemies. Unless it was really serious business, he would
only leave the house accompanied by subordinates. And now he was standing
here, in plain clothing, merging with the darkness. The assumption that
something was wrong immediately suggested itself.
"I wonder what you're doing here, entirely without company..."
Although Yoh did not want to admit it to himself, he could not fully conceal the
fact that Feilong's current situation piqued his curiosity. Actually, a traitor
should not care about something like that. He did not know what kind of mood
had driven Feilong to overlook his treachery, but he knew how merciless he
could be. During the seven years under his command, he had witnessed what
terrible and brutal things he ordered his men to do without batting an eye. If
someone let himself be deluded by his outward beauty and forgot the hidden
poison inside of Feilong, a bitter lesson was waiting.
Without increasing the distance, he answered Yoh's question. "Didn't it cross
your mind that I came to see you?"
"Never. How conceited do you think I am?" Yoh replied promptly, although it
would have been a lie to say that he had not thought of that possibility at all
when he had seen Feilong before him right now. Feilong was by all means
capable of understanding the feelings of others, but he was not sentimental. It
would not surprise Yoh either if he had looked for him to take his life on a whim -
an opportunity that he had let slip on the ship. After everything that had
happened, Yoh would not shed a tear for his life, but Feilong's visit had come so
suddenly that he could not suppress his disquiet.
Now he took a step towards him. Yoh was prepared and lowered his gaze. As
he sensed Feilong's hand on his shoulder, the mafia leader quietly breathed into
his ear, "Will you understand if I tell you... I want you to kill someone for me?"
Yoh's eyes widened, and he looked at Feilong. Including the lowest ranks, the
Baishe had members in all of Asia; no matter where around the world one should
hide, it was a simple task for the Baishe to search out the whereabouts.
Therefore, it was no wonder Feilong knew about his dark sideline. However...
"Wait! Why are you asking me?!"
"You want to hear a reason?"
"If the boss of the Baishe personally comes to Taiwan undercover to kill a
specific target, I am the wrong contact person for you."
"Only you can carry out this task."
Those words reverberated in Yoh's heart in a strangely pleasant way. And yet
his confusion did not disappear. He could not recall knowing even one target for
which only he could be assigned. All of Feilong's underlings were faithful,
excellent men; they could almost be called blind with loyalty. One word from him
was enough and they would just simply annihilate any nuisance, howsoever
small it may be. But here he stood, having especially traveled all the way from
Hong Kong. Yoh stared at Feilong with an inquiring look. "Who is it?" he then
"I will only give that away after you have accepted my mission." His answer
came without hesitation, but it was not exactly satisfying. Was the subject a
person he could not simply name, or was there another, special reason for his
reserve? Yoh did not trust the matter, so he tried to get behind the true
intentions of the other man.
"Please excuse me, but don't you think this is the wrong order? What if I
He did not belong with the Baishe anymore. Whether he accepted the mission
or not was entirely up to his discretion. And yet Feilong nodded to him in utter
"You won't reject. No, you can't reject... Yoh... will you do it for me?"
Just like on that day, Feilong's bleak, demanding gaze pierced him. It was not
the first time that he gave him the order to put a troublemaker out of the way.
Inside him, the memories from seven years ago surfaced vividly. When he had
met Feilong in the Hong Kong prison, his eyes had been soulless. Yoh had
infiltrated the prison to monitor and protect Feilong by Asami's order, but he
had asked himself whether that had been necessary at all. Feilong had lost his
organization as well as his own flesh and blood; he could not return to anyone
and had just barely escaped death. Even if his wounds healed after some time, a
scar would probably remain. However, as it had come to Feilong's ears that the
former number three of the Baishe was tempted to rebuild the organization and
make contact with Asami, the sleeping dragon inside him had awoken again.
"I have to ensure that this man disappears from the picture. Yoh... will you do
that for me?" Feilong had commanded. He had not even cared about the
assassin they had sent after him. Ironically, of all people, Asami - who had
brought him into that situation - had been the one to make the flames in his
eyes blaze once again. Yoh still could not forget the moment Feilong's eyes had
caused him to shiver - it had been the first time he had felt attracted to him.
He answered, "So with this target, your hands are tied as boss of the Baishe,
but it's someone you can leave to me? And therefore I have to kill him."
"You are quick on the uptake." Feilong smiled and stood back a bit again.
However, there was little use that could be made of this information. It was
certain that Feilong felt that extreme caution had to be exercised regarding this
person. For the principals, professional contract killers were a kind of pawn they
could sacrifice at any time, and should Yoh fail at his mission - he was no longer
a part of the organization anyway. Thus it would easily be possible to pretend he
was not in any way connected to the Baishe. At first glance it may have looked
like a one-sided negotiation, but upon closer inspection it was one on a level
playing field - a negotiation between principal and agent, not between boss and
subordinate. It was not an assignment Feilong would have entrusted random
other people with.
"All right," replied Yoh, "I will accept the mission."
And he did not do it because he felt his pride was challenged by Feilong's
statement. He should have been killed already when his treason - the connection
with Asami - had come to light. He had practically already resigned himself to
death. Feilong, however, had not killed him, so he was in his debt, and whatever
his selection criteria were, only Yoh seemed to qualify for him.
"If I can settle my debt with this..."
Upon this answer, Feilong gave a pleased nod and concealed his face with the
hood once more. "At this time, this area is too busy. I'm going to come again
tomorrow evening, before the nightly market opens. We will reason out further
Yoh nodded. He would have liked to learn more, but if he stayed absent from
work for too long, there would possibly be suspicion - it was about time to go
back into the shop. But just at this moment, Feilong's head tilted towards his
ear, and he whispered in a quiet voice, "One more thing... I was followed here
Yoh's body tensed. No matter how disguised Feilong was, he could not hide
the aura surrounding him. So the pursuer knew exactly who he was. Angry at his
own carelessness not to have noticed this thirst for blood, he looked around.
"Since when? Do you have an idea who it...?"
However, his whispering questions suddenly ebbed away. Somehow Feilong
was acting too calmly.
"Can't you guess?" asked Feilong, a little awkwardly.
All of a sudden, he seemed to be a different person. Yoh immediately knew
who the 'pursuer' was as he saw Feilong shrugging his shoulders with a slightly
agonized smile. Touching his own temples, Yoh whispered, "Tao! So he just
Tao was Feilong's parlor boy and the only one whom he trusted. He had
probably missed his master so much that he could not help going after him, for
even if Feilong looked after him caringly at all times, he was not always able to be
with him. So far, Tao had always virtuously waited for Feilong's return, but he
seemed to be past that age.
"Nothing can be done about it anymore today, but please urge him to fly back
tomorrow morning. You don't have to tell him I noticed him either."
If it was about Tao, it was usually rare for him to put on such a strict look.
Occasionally he showed his heartless face, but towards Tao he acted awfully
caringly. Although he was almost thirteen years old, he was probably still a little
child to Feilong. But it did not escape Yoh's attention that aside from care for
Tao, a dark shadow appeared on the pale beauty's face; apparently he really
wanted to avoid Tao finding out the content of the mission. Even if Tao grew up
well-protected, he must have realized what the work of his guardian entailed.
That Feilong explicitly asked him to speak to Tao nonetheless implied unusual
"Understood. I will talk to him."
No, the circumstances of his client were of no concern to Yoh. The only
important thing to him was the elimination of the target.
"I am counting on you." Feilong turned to leave. Simultaneously, the back
kitchen door opened.
"How long are you planning to relax?" someone yelled from the kitchen. Since
Yoh had not returned yet, the shop owner probably wanted to check if
everything was in order. Suddenly, the shouts of the clothes sellers and the mass
of people from the front side of the street, which had seemingly been muted
with Feilong's appearance, sank back in on him.
"Coming straightaway!" Yoh responded. When he turned around once more,
Feilong was already gone. As stealthily as he had appeared, he had vanished
again, and apparently he had not even thought it necessary to say goodbye to
Yoh. The elegant, sudden disappearance amazed him. "Hah..."
In contrast to his coldhearted air as leader, Feilong could sometimes give his
subordinates a scrutinizing smile. Even if one knew exactly that his nature was
calculating, one was won over by him at a moment's notice. Yoh had
indifferently observed it with others as a customary ceremony, and only now
that he had left the clan, he realized that he had fallen for it as well.
Once Yoh was back to his post, the owner of the shop wordlessly pointed his
chin towards the entrance. Following his glance, he could see a boy lingering in
the front of the shop and inspecting the inside. The little visitor had followed
Feilong, but must have lost sight of him in this district. His face looked like the
one of a clueless, lost child.
"He is well-dressed, but he's been acting like that all the time. Is that your
Yoh put a hand to his forehead on account of the horrible misunderstanding.
"Of course not! He's the child of... an acquaintance."
He shortly hesitated in saying so, yet he did not know how else to explain it,
therefore his boss did not quite seem to buy it either. Yoh briefly excused himself
and left the shop. He walked straight up to the boy. Tao's eyes began to sparkle
when he caught sight of him.
"Yoh? It is you, Yoh, isn't it? We haven't seen each other for so long! But what
are you doing here?" Tao probably had not expected to see him again here in
Taiwan. The child's eyes were wide as he ran over to Yoh. "You just disappeared
when I was in the hospital. I was very worried because of that. It's good to see
you're all right!" At the end of his flood of words, he tilted his head and started
mumbling away to himself quizzically, "Hm, did Master Fei come here to see
His voice sounded a little hoarse, but it did not seem to bother him. He
appeared to be doing well. Yoh was staggered at Tao's unchanged guilelessness.
"Weren't you told anything?" he asked.
"Eh? Told what?" replied Tao, puzzled. A few months ago, before Yoh left the
clan, he had managed to take the key to the safe away from Tao to pass on the
contained deeds for the casino in Macau, which Feilong had inherited from his
father, to Asami. He had betrayed Tao and taken the treasure from him that
Feilong had entrusted to him, and yet the boy was smiling at him as usual.
Feilong had probably kept it a secret from him on purpose. Yoh tried to shake off
those thoughts and grabbed Tao's arm. "Never mind. Tell me what you're doing
"Huh? Uhm... I just wanted to have a look... inside...?"
He was likely on the brink of telling the truth. His emergency lie was
interrupted by a stomach growling. He sheepishly put a hand over his belly and
smiled at Yoh a tad uncomfortably. It seemed someone was hungry.
"Come along!" sighed Yoh and went back into the shop with him. Having
seated Tao at a table in the corner, he entered the kitchen. He wanted to
prepare something simple and looked around. Just then, the wife of the
innkeeper handed him a tray with one bowl of each rice and soup, and briskly
indicated to him to bring it to the boy.
"He's hungry, isn't he?"
"Yes, thank you very much!"
He had met the couple running the shop shortly after having come to Taiwan.
Yoh was a killer, but he was also a refugee, and to settle down in this country
discreetly, he had decided to look for an especially tight and dirty job at those
bustling stalls. He wanted to live under the radar and avoided contact with
people, hence he was grateful for his reticent employers who never interfered in
anything. They had both had a difficult childhood, and their deep compassion,
which probably sprang from that, had already helped Yoh many times.
He slightly bowed his head as thanks and brought the tray to Tao's table. Both
the bowl of rice with the sweet and salty cooked bacon and the rice noodle soup
with a lot of deep-fried tofu and vegetables were national dishes in Taiwan.
"Eat before it gets cold," said Yoh and put down the food in front of Tao.
Tao's eyes began sparkling again. "Can I really?"
Apparently, he had been so busy following Feilong that he had not had time to
eat at all. He did not waste much time on speeches of thanks and started to
shovel the food steaming deliciously before him into his mouth. As the wife saw
his big appetite from the kitchen, she smiled. Yoh exhaled, pulled back a chair,
and sat down across from Tao.
"I want you to go back to Hong Kong as soon as you've eaten your fill.
"I don't wanna!"
At this prompt refusal, Yoh could not help but blink - he had never seen this
behavior from Tao before, at least not when he had still been a member of the
Baishe. He automatically took a closer look at the boy and arrived at the
conclusion that puberty was likely to blame. So his slightly raspy voice was also
to be attributed to voice break. As he tried to recall his own puberty, the taste of
an unripe tangerine came into his mind, and he pushed the thought away. But
now he knew that it would have little effect to simply scold him. He composed
himself and rephrased his order. "You promised Master Feilong not to undertake
too much anymore. You shouldn't be a burden to him with your actions."
"I'm not! I arranged my lodging here myself!" Tao proudly took a slip of paper
from his bag while chewing and let it flutter around under Yoh's nose, so he
seized the opportunity and fished it from Tao's fingers without further ado.
"What's the big idea?! Give it back to me!"
Yoh dodged Tao's hands, which were trying to catch the stolen piece of paper
again, and let his eyes wander across the address printed on the map -
apparently Tao had booked a room in an accommodation close to the place
where Feilong was staying. During his growing up, he had acquired troublesome
abilities as well.
Yoh returned the slip of paper to him and sighed. "That's not the point! If
something were to happen to you, it would make your master sad."
Feilong probably loved the boy more than the little child thought, which also
became apparent through Feilong's dismay at Tao having to be hospitalized
because he had wanted to protect his master. The members of the Baishe gave
their own profit top priority. It was hard to imagine what a burden it had to be,
keeping a widely scattered crime organization together at just twenty-nine years
of age. Tao was surrounded by inhumanity and brutality, and yet he did not
know what it meant to be betrayed. To Feilong, he was a calm anchor. Seven
years ago, Feilong had lost his whole family in one stroke, and Tao was the only
one he still considered his kin and cared for.
"I won't let that happen! 'Cause I'm gonna protect Master Fei."
Tao slurped up the soup in the bowl and proudly puffed out his chest. Respect
was reflected in the eyes of the pubescent boy. Fie admired Feilong very much,
who was like a father or brother to him. As of yet, his life was unsullied. But
would he pursue the same path as Feilong someday? Yoh quickly discarded this
brief train of thought. It was none of his business.
"You can say a lot, but if something happened to you, you would trouble
Master Feilong with that. Flow do you intend to protect him by disregarding his
will?! Be a bit more mature!"
This harsh reprimand caused Tao to puff up his cheeks. Fie probably thought of
himself as grown-up; however, in some situations, the child inside him still
"Do you understand what I said, Tao?!"
"All right! I'll go already. Satisfied?" Fie gave the last word a special emphasis.
Then he pursed his lips and nodded grudgingly. Regardless of whether he was
aware of it or not, he probably owed his direct nature and his sometimes slightly
unworldly innocence - due to which it was hard to believe that he had grown up
among the mafia - purely and simply to Feilong's care. When would this
innocent boy realize how special the position he was in actually was?
"Chihao le*!" [*Chin.: "Thank you for the meal!"]
Just as Yoh wanted to stress once more that Tao had to return to Hong Kong
the following day, he got up from his seat with the emptied bowls and
contentedly wiped his mouth.
Without paying Yoh any attention, he gave his thanks to the shop owners and
proceeded towards the exit. Yoh swiftly went after him, but just as he was about
to grab his arm, Tao abruptly came to a stop.
"Yoh..." He looked up at him with a mature expression on his face. At this
moment, even though Yoh overtowered him by two heads, Tao suddenly seemed
taller to him, which was rather confusing.
"Km glad to have met you here, Yoh!" he eventually said to him. "You'd
suddenly disappeared and I was really worried about you. It's nice to see you're
"Thanks for everything! I'll be going, then." Tao's shy smile momentarily
rendered Yoh speechless, and while he was still struggling for words, Tao turned
around and ran into the hustle and bustle of the market.
He gazed after Tao's jaunty steps and sighed. It seemed as if Tao knew
everything, but in the end he knew nothing after all. He had no idea how many
people were courting for Feilong's attention every day. And yet, Tao was
currently the only one whom Feilong trusted. At some point, he had suddenly
been by Feilong's side and had since then carried out the work of a parlor boy.
There were people in the clan who were bothered by Feilong's special behavior
towards Tao; however, no one ever seemed to ask about the reason. Therefore it
was probably a subject matter that was better not addressed. Be that as it may,
all of that no longer had anything to do with Yoh anymore.
~ next chapter
Stigma in the Finder II (Finder no Rakuin)
His hollow cheeks, his sharp, dauntless gaze, and his brand of cigarettes had
not changed. Maybe he was just a touch bolder than before. While Feilong
weaved his way through the throng in the market street, he thought of the man
he had just met. Yoh had not demanded any information he could not give.
People who did not make unnecessary inquiries could be trusted - for it is the
patient cat that catches the prey. He thought about what he had said to Yoh.
"I want you to kill someone for me...
He let his words course through his mind again.
There was a reason for his secret visit in Taiwan. Should members of the Baishe
learn who the target was, it would not only unhinge his leading position, it would
shake the whole organization to its very foundations. It began seven years ago,
on a rainy night: Liu Talen, the former leader of the Baishe and also Feilong's
stepfather, was shot. That day, the clan lapsed into a state of chaos. His older
stepbrother-Yan Tsui - was badly wounded by the hands of Asami Ryuichi, and
Feilong, who had narrowly escaped death, was arrested and thrown into jail. His
natural father, To, was shot to death as well. And so, in one single night, he lost
all those he could call his relatives. Only in prison had he learned that the bullet
that had taken Liu Talen's life had not stemmed from the same weapon To had
been shot with. To had been killed by Asami - but Liu Talen had been murdered
by his own son, Yan Tsui. Asami had great influence on the Hong Kong police,
thus Yan Tsui had not just been suspected of Liu Talen's murder, but also the
murder of To. However, the truth looked quite different. The knowledge of this
incredible fact lay deeply buried in Feilong's heart even now, and the truth would
never pass his lips. Yan Tsui, who was now prosecuted as a potential culprit, had
vanished without a trace, and rumor had it that he had died, but in reality he had
merely fled. After first moving from one place to the next, he eventually struck
roots in Taiwan. Yan Tsui was still alive. But Feilong had only discovered this
alarming truth after being released from jail, rebuilding the Baishe, and
becoming the new leader. To say that he was dismayed about this circumstance
would have been an understatement - knowing that Yan Tsui had murdered his
benevolent father and was now living his carefree new life made Feilong's blood
boil. Why had he murdered their father?! Feilong preferably would have headed
out this instant to confront his brother; he had even contemplated taking the
matter into his own hand. Flowever, he forced back those thoughts resolutely,
because Yan Tsui was, despite everything, the biological son of Liu Talen, the
former boss of the clan, and in China, murder within one's own family was
condemned. Even without taking the last words of his deceased father into
consideration, he was not allowed to turn a weapon on his brother, no matter
how good the reason for it. Fie remembered Liu Talen's urgent request in the
hour of his death. Fie had asked him to forgive Yan Tsui.
"You have to forgive Yan..."
This last will made Feilong's heart bleed. Liu Talen had forgiven Yan Tsui,
although he had killed him. Feilong had decided to comply with the wish of his
father, but not in order to preserve his brother's honor. Then it reached his ears
that Yan Tsui, who had fled from Flong Kong, was now living in Taiwan under a
false name and even led a mafia organization. Fie probably wanted to purge his
sinful past - his failure at bringing the Baishe in line, and his downfall through an
outsider. It was difficult to compare him with Asami, but it seemed that greed
was always a welcome drive for Yan Tsui as well. Even if Feilong had known
exactly what his brother was up to currently, he had always been able to restrain
himself from acting so far. Whatever it was that he was planning right now, as
long as it was harmless, Feilong wanted to overlook it. But then a spy brought
him news that the Russian mafia was giving his brother support, and although
his father's last wish had been another, Feilong could not let Yan Tsui's actions
go unregarded any longer. There was no telling to what extent the Russian
mafioso Mikhail Arbatov was already working with the Taiwanese mafia.
Flowever, there was another party within the Baishe that viewed Yan Tsui, the
biological son of the former leader, as rightful successor, and should these
lowlives learn that Yan Tsui was still alive, it was impossible to predict what
might happen. What was certain was that a coup was going to take place. Those
who dared to disturb the harmony of the clan had to be disposed of; as head of
the organization, he had passed this ruthless verdict. FHis personal relationship
with his stepbrother had only played into this resolve to a limited extent.
Abruptly, Feilong, who was strolling through the market plaza, came to a halt.
His glance was drawn to one of the tables which stood messily at the side of the
street. Two siblings were sitting there, putting their heads together and reading
a school book they had lying in front of them with the help of the faint light of
the stalls. Their parents were presumably working in a stand nearby. It seemed
they were doing their homework; a fidgety little boy was letting his older
brother, who was around thirteen years old, show him how to look up words in a
dictionary. They were surrounded by people who were just coming from work.
On the tables there was warm dinner. The people were chatting sociably and it
was very lively - an ordinary everyday scene in Taiwan. Suddenly, memories from
his own childhood were awakened. When he had been a boy, he had respected
Yan Tsui as his older brother. They had learned and lived together, along with
Yan Tsui's father. He could not get it out of his head, the feeling of how Yan Tsui
had tenderly caressed his hand every time they had cut his beloved ebony hair.
Am I perhaps still hesitating? Feilong thought.
The mission for Yoh would be to kill Yan Tsui secretly.
Even though he was going to avenge his father's death with it, he would have
been lying to say that he did not feel any indecision at all in the face of this
assignment. His hesitation was not only due to his memories of the past or his
esteem towards him as brother.
Tao... He thought of the innocent smile of the boy who looked after his well¬
being at the headquarters in Hong Kong-and of the fact that Tao was Yan Tsui's
natural son. Feilong was the only one who knew this closely guarded secret, and
it was never to come out in the open either. No one, not even members of the
Baishe, let alone Tao, knew anything about it.
He had heard that Tao's mother had been the wife of a common Baishe
member. On some kind of whim, Yan Tsui had laid hands on her, and she had
fallen pregnant with Tao, but there had been complications at birth and she had
died. There was no way of finding out what had happened to her husband after
that, and the old couple that had taken in their new-born grandson had died
shortly thereupon, thus Tao had been the only one left behind. Not uncommon
in the lower class of a criminal organization. However, the child was blood-
related to Yan Tsui -that changed the situation. It was pure chance that he
learned of Tao's existence. To Feilong, who had been adopted by the Liu family,
he was therefore a nephew, even if they were not connected by blood. Back
then, the ways of Feilong and Yan Tsui were already separated for good, but Tao
was not at fault for that. And if he had the child of someone who was virtually a
relative by his side, it might give his strife-torn soul comfort as well.
When he had taken Tao under his wing, he had been driven by nothing more
than the feeling of picking up a stray cat off the roadside. Had Feilong not been
in this mood at that time, Tao could not have survived under any circumstances
- even in normal society it was hard for a young orphan to get by, and in the
mafia world things were a lot rougher. Tao's ancestry had stayed concealed, and
Feilong had let him work as a parlor boy provisionally. At some point, however,
he became his shelter of fondness. Behind Tao's frankness were no malicious
intents whatsoever. Every day Feilong had to expect to be deceived, but Tao
would never betray him. Fie could trust him. Fie respected only him. For Feilong,
he had become an irreplaceable person. Every now and then, there had also
been moments in which he had perceived it as unpleasant that Tao knew nothing
about all this; since Tao belonged to the Liu family, he should have been
welcomed warmly. Privileged by his status, he essentially was not someone who
had to spend his life as just a parlor boy. Flowever, apart from that, sentiments
of paternal love developed inside Feilong which did not want to make Tao a
mafioso. It was possible that it was very selfish to keep the thirteen-year-old boy
within his reach nevertheless, but the way he was growing up innocently and
cheerfully gave Feilong peace; yet at the same time, an immense conflict arose in
him when Tao looked at him with his affectionate glance. Was it really good for
him if he continued to let him stay in this underworld? Feilong knew about the
hypocrisy, the exploitative behavior, and the lowlives that were conspiring
against him or backstabbing him. It was precisely because he had grown up
among those bloodthirsty conflicts that he thought it was not yet too late for
And should he find out Yon Tsui's secret... Fie developed his thoughts further.
When Tao had learned that Feilong would travel to Taiwan on his own, he had
tenaciously insisted on accompanying him. It was not just the childish wish of
not wanting to be left behind; he had been seriously willing to come along as a
security escort for Feilong, because he had regarded it as too dangerous for him
not to take any of his men with him. Had it been a cleaner matter, Feilong might
actually have considered it, but the goal of this journey was the murder of Yan
Tsui. To Feilong, his brother was no more than a risk factor, but nothing could
change the fact that he was also Tao's father. Tao was not to learn under any
circumstances what the actual purpose of this trip was. When Feilong arrived in
Taiwan, he noticed that the little boy, whom he had originally left behind, had
followed him, however Tao had managed to arrange that.
He would not stay an ignorant child forever. Over time, Tao had not only
distinguished himself through high learning aptitude, but also the ability to put
his ideas into practice. Gradually, he was becoming an adult man. He was not
entirely spared from the criminal world, but thus far Feilong had always tried to
raise him as far away from the worst depravity as possible. Now, he was not sure
anymore if it had really been a good decision to have kept him in this bloody
world until the age of thirteen.
No... that is a fallacy, he told himself. The possibility that at some point a
dreadful situation would be brought about due to Feilong's naivety and
hesitation was by no means small. To free himself from the spell of his brother
and unify the Baishe again, it was necessary to cast off all superfluous ballast. He
was ready to accept any bloodshed as long as it made it possible to strengthen
the group. Before Tao found out about the secret, Yan Tsui had to be eradicated.
Feilong averted his eyes from the peaceful family scene in the bustle of the
market and disappeared back into the darkness.
The following evening, Feilong stealthily snuck out of his hotel room and set
out to visit Yoh's shop as arranged. He got into the empty elevator and pressed
the button for the lobby. He did not wear a disguise like the day before, but
rather his usual suit with no tie and a white shirt, the two top buttons of which
were open. The elevator door closed. While the metal box smoothly moved
downward, the cell phone in his shirt pocket suddenly started vibrating. In a
fluent movement he pulled it out, looked at the display, and could not hold back
a speechless, slightly wry smile. He murmured to himself, "How about some
useful information for a change..."
It was an email from Takaba Akihito from Japan. It was hard to tell whether the
short text was a lament or a simple monologue - at any rate, it was cluttered
with smileys. Well, for Akihito it was possibly very important, even if it sounded
rather trivial to Feilong. When he tucked the phone back into the pocket of his
shirt, he let the memories of faraway Japan awaken.
That reminds me, Tao also wanted to go to Japan again, he thought.
Tao was supposed to have been on his way back home yesterday already -
surely he had already arrived at headquarters in Hong Kong safe and sound.
Feilong was aware that Tao was not a little child anymore, and a boy full of
curiosity should not be confined all the time. Certainly it would not be a bad idea
to take him along on the next trip to Japan, even if that was still written in the
A faint beeping sound signalized that he had arrived at the requested floor,
and the door opened. The personnel at the reception noticed him attentively
and approached him as he walked through the foyer and outside, where the hot
evening air abruptly surrounded him. The horizon was not tinged by the
afterglow yet; instead, dark gray clouds were pushing themselves across the sky.
According to the weather forecast, it was supposed to thunder from evening
until midnight. The limousine of the hotel, varnished in black, slid toward the
entrance on soft tires and came to a stop in front of Feilong. He sat down on the
back seat, whereupon the porter closed the door gallantly.
Motor scooters sped tirelessly through the streets of Taiwan, which were full
of colors and scents. Had his objective here not been such a perilous
undertaking, he could have gone touring with Tao through this exotic
atmosphere for a change. He was not entirely uncomprehending in terms of
Tao's actions, following him in secret without any permission at all. When he had
been shot by Asami in Japan and returned to Hong Kong with injuries, Tao had
greeted him in tears as if they were his own wounds. The situation burdened him
because in front of him, it was only ever said Feilong was going to work, but in
reality it was never certain where he was and what exactly he was doing. Tao
was probably constantly being reminded of his helplessness and fear to only be
able to wait for Feilong's return.
I will bring him here at a better time. Tao would surely enjoy that.
And because he had almost never taken him on a real journey, Tao would be
thrilled about it. He imagined Tao's laughing face, and his heart immediately
became a little lighter.
While he was still letting his thoughts circle around endlessly, the car had
already come close to the destination. Feilong activated the button of the
intercom system. "Let me get out somewhere around here."
Driving up with a limousine would attract too much attention, so he got out of
the car away from the market area and walked a short way. Maybe it was down
to the fact that it was not time for dinner yet, but compared to the previous
evening, very few people were on the road. Instead, the busy cries of the shop
staff preparing themselves for opening hours were audible every once in a while.
Just like yesterday, he went to the back side of the shop, where Yoh was already
waiting for him; his mien expressionless, he stood leaning against the wall and
was smoking a cigarette. Apparently, Yoh was convinced of having settled well in
Taiwan and being inconspicuous, but examining him through the eyes of an
expert, one could see straightaway that he was always vigilant.
"Feilong!" he called when he noticed his figure. He threw his cigarette on the
ground and crushed it with his toecap. The warmth which the asphalt had
accumulated during noon was arising, glimmering, and Yoh's shape reflected in it
as though it was only a Fata Morgana.
"Did I make you wait?" asked Feilong.
"No, I was just here earlier," replied Yoh.
As if it were a secret rendezvous, Feilong beckoned him over into the shadows
of the building, for in Yoh's shop, the preparations were also running at full
speed. While they both walked through the narrow alley, Feilong addressed a
subject that bothered him a lot, "Were you able to persuade Tao?"
"He said he'd understood. Although he didn't seem especially happy about it."
As long as Yoh had been able to convince Tao, Feilong was pleased with this
assertion. Today, he had not observed a follower either - certainly Tao had
already safely arrived in Hong Kong. Feilong took off his tinted sunglasses and
put them in his shirt pocket. However, suddenly something happened, just as he
was about to raise the main subject. Loud steps caused both of them to fall
silent. The shop was not open yet, hence not many people had business at the
back door. A five or six-year-old girl broke the tense atmosphere by sticking out
her face in between the tight passageway of the two shops, looking around
uneasily like she was searching for something.
"Looks like someone got lost..."
But those words had barely left Yoh's mouth when the girl turned around to
them. Apparently, she had found what she had been looking for, because a smile
spread across her round face, and she unsuspectingly went over to the two men
and came to a halt before Feilong.
"Here!" Without further ado, she handed him a white envelope. Yoh and
Feilong exchanged glances. The latter's eyes seemed to inquire if Yoh knew the
girl, but the child appeared to be a stranger to him as well. Probably a girl from
the neighborhood. An ordinarily dressed, cute girl.
"What about it?" Feilong took the envelope doubtingly, but when he turned it
around, his face grew pale; an emblem that was familiar to him leapt to his eye.
He quickly opened the letter.
A black curl of hair fell out as he turned the letter around. It took both their
But Yoh's quiet voice did not reach him. Feilong's hand began shaking
unconsciously. He immediately knew whose hair it was that lay silkily in his
fingers. In the enclosed letter there were the address of a nearby harbor and the
number of a warehouse, and the vintage ransom note was completed by the
demand to come alone if he did not want the owner of the strand of hair to be
killed. Feilong looked sharply at the girl.
"Where did you get that? Who gave it to you?"
Even though he held it back, the anger in his tone was unmistakable. The girl's
innocent face abruptly changed, and she took a tremulous step back.
"I... I was told that there was a young man with long hair behind the shop and I
should give him the envelope..."
"What did the man look like? Do you know him?" Feilong dug deeper.
The girl was almost on the verge of tears. She shook her head vigorously. "I...
I've never seen him. It was a man I don't know. He gave me pocket money for it."
Yoh could not stand by and watch any longer and held him back. Feilong
sighed, averting his gaze from the girl.
She was probably nothing more than a passer-by; it was highly unlikely that
there was anything more to learn from the person who had played messenger
for a little tip. Once Feilong's deathly glare broke off, the girl turned around
instantly and ran away like a scalded cat. Her small steps moved further and
further away until they had disappeared. As if he had waited for it, Yoh leaned
closer to Feilong with a sinister mien.
"What's in the letter?"
"Obsolete platitudes of a kidnapper. He even especially asks for me to come
alone," muttered Feilong with a tang of sarcasm and handed Yoh the slip of
paper. A strand alone did not prove that Tao was still alive, and even if he should
be alive, the possibility that he had been maltreated by use of drugs or violence
could not be ruled out. Yan Tsui did not know that Tao was his biological son...
Deep furrows showed on Feilong's face. Yoh was making a phone call.
Why... does he know... ? Feilong pondered. The visit in Taiwan was top secret,
let alone his true intentions here. He had not thought it possible that Tao, who
had nothing to do with this matter, could be abducted. He refused to believe it,
but it suggested itself that Yan Tsui, in turn, was monitoring Feilong's actions as
I was too careless...
He should not have left Tao alone. Feilong would have been no easy prey, but it
did not seem to have posed a major problem to take a child following him
hostage. Why had he not taken him back to the hotel with him last night? Had he
brought him to the airport in the morning, Tao would not have gotten swept up
in this affair. Feilong cursed his own negligence and let this bitter feeling brand
itself deeply in his mind.
Yoh ended the phone call and said with his head hanging, "Please forgive me! I
bear the responsibility for this. I should have made sure Tao really got on the
Tao had checked out of his accommodation today morning, so he must have
been kidnapped over the course of the day, and Yoh, who had found out these
things, was plagued by pangs of conscience. But Feilong replied, "No, this is not
the time for recrimination. We have to help him fast."
They did not have any time to lose - since the kidnapping, any amount of time
between a few hours and half a day could have passed. While they were standing
here, Tao's life was in danger.
An ominous emblem was depicted on the paper, similar to a black flame. It was
the emblem of an organization of the Taiwanese mafia, headed by Yan Tsui.
Since Yoh was living in the mafia world himself, he did recognize the crest which
was visible on the letter, but he could not comprehend why a small aspiring
organization incurred the wrath of the leader of the Hong Kong mafia. Even
though Yoh was connected with the criminal world, the information that this
very organization was led by the former Baishe boss's son - and therefore
Feilong's stepbrother - did not seem to have reached him yet. In other words,
this meant that Yan Tsui had skillfully concealed his past and settled down in the
crime world of Taiwan. Feilong could not help smirking and murmured, "The
head of this organization should have been eliminated by you. His name is Yan
At this statement, Yoh's eyes widened, most likely because he had not even
begun to think that Feilong had visited Taiwan to kill his brother-Yan Tsui.
"Yan Tsui?! You mean the son of the previous leader of the Baishe? But...?!"
"He has a cover name. Yan Tsui is not an idiot."
Yoh probably would not have expected that Yan Tsui, who had disappeared
without a trace, had gained foothold in Taiwan's mafia world. One could tell by
looking at him how interested he was in the further circumstances, but right
now, each second was precious.
"As much as I regret it, there is no time to get to the details. The situation
changed. I am going to take care of this matter on my own. Forget our talk
But before Feilong could finish his sentence, Yoh grabbed him, and his
expression darkened. "Flold on! You're not planning to go there, are you?!"
"Of course I am! Fie dared to take something from me, the head of the Baishe.
Do you think he will get away unscathed?!"
"This is a trap!"
Feilong looked into Yoh's intelligent eyes and could not help but laugh. "And?"
Of course Feilong was aware of that. Fie remembered Asami had held him back
in a similar situation, but he had been swayed by the message about the critical
condition of his stepfather and ultimately walked right into Yan Tsui's trap.
This time, however, he was going in order to prove he was not being
manipulated. Fie was neither his brother's pawn nor an oppressed puppet.
"Should anything happen to Tao, I will kill this man."
Due to those words which slipped through his lips so suddenly, he realized that
he had made a decision long ago. Fie was not acting out of vanity or pride - he
could not bear someone who was important to him being hurt. Fie would not
forgive anyone for that.
"Very well, then," said Yoh, aware he could not hold Feilong back, who was
deliberately walking into the lion's den. Fie gingerly loosened his grip around
Feilong's arm and spoke in a low voice, "I will gather information. You shouldn't
FHis glance was serious. The place he had enclosed with his hands up until now
was still warm. Feilong nodded wordlessly and turned away. Fie proceeded to the
main road at a brisk pace; at this time of day he would get a taxi without any
problems. The day slowly drew to a close, and the city was shrouded in nightly
scents. The smell of humid dust reached Feilong's nose, probably because of the
upcoming rain. Fie raised a hand to hail a cab and lifted his eyes. The red color of
the evening was shimmering through a gap in the gray clouds, as though a
nightmarish demon was about to open his mouth and devour this city. This sight
further stoked his inner turmoil.
He let the taxi driver know the address noted on the piece of paper and slipped
a tip into his hand so that he would hurry. The driver was puzzled by the unusual
aura surrounding Feilong. His style of driving was crude, but he made haste.
Feilong let himself sink into the back seat and folded his hands over his legs. He
prayed Tao was all right. Not being able to do anything else made him nervous.
Feilong tried to tame his restless emotions and reflected on how this situation
could have come about. What were Yan Tsui's true intentions?
I con hardly imagine Yan Tsui figured out my murder plot, he thought.
Looking at the fact that Yan Tsui used Tao to bring Feilong out of his shell,
there was no doubt that he was aiming for him. Yan Tsui did not know yet that
Tao was his son. Presumably he believed it was harder to abduct Feilong and had
instead settled on Feilong's precious Tao.
He took advantage of the fact that Tao followed me, he thought. He could not
regret it enough. To this day, Yan Tsui was still full of hatred towards him.
Feilong had ensured that the Baishe was revived again and thus rose as leader,
but Yan Tsui felt bereft of his position. During the lifetime of his father, Feilong
had even been forced to seduce men. It was typical of his brother to forever
reproach him. Yan Tsui had made him dirty his hands to get rid of troublesome
people and pressured him into using his body to win over target persons. It had
always been the orders of his brother, always under the pretext that it was for
the clan, and that he was to do it if he wanted to be accepted by their father.
Feilong slowly shook his head. He wiped sweat from his brow. What had
happened in the past was of no relevance. He was worried about Tao. The
dispute between him and his brother had unintentionally gotten Tao entangled
in this matter. He had to do his utmost to free him unharmed, else the damage
would be irreparable.
The weather service ended up being right; on the way, it started to rain.
Occasionally, the sky would brighten and thunder caused the window to quake,
and the light of the street lamps gleamed through the big trickling raindrops.
Soon afterwards, the taxi reached the destination. The view of the city made way
for a monotone image; there was something desolate about the setting. At the
docks, where factories and warehouses were attached to each other, there were
few people, so the bang of a shot or screams would not arouse much attention
here - the perfect place for torturing a hostage. The location determined by Yan
Tsui was a warehouse which served the distribution of goods, the roof of which
was built from several construction frameworks in a row. A little away from the
meeting spot, Feilong got out of the car and proceeded to the warehouse in the
rain. There was not a soul to be seen, and the surrounding was uncannily quiet.
The small red lamp at the entrance had to be a camera. This place probably
functioned as a transshipment point for smuggled goods, as one of their hiding
places, or possibly both. But even as Feilong showed himself completely openly,
no one came out. The back door of the warehouse was not locked, as if it was
downright inviting him to enter the hall. It could not be excluded that this was a
trap and they wanted to trick him, but he did not have time to hesitate.
Too... he thought.
His heart was on the verge of losing its rhythm. Fie tried to stay calm and
entered. Only the emergency lamp gave light to the room. Inside, it was dusky,
and the air was dry. Feilong pressed his back against the door, which he had
closed behind him, and held his breath. Aside from forklifts for transportation of
materials, stacked containers filled the hall. Fie approached one of the giant
boxes with soundless steps.
The inscription that was already flaking off showed the Russian letters for
Vladivostok, thus the assumption suggested itself that the containers were used
for the transport of smuggled weapons or drugs from Russia. Fie went deeper
into the hall. The workroom beside the conveyor belt for the movement of goods
was now visible. Bright light fell through the cracks of window and door. Fie
snuck inside and ventured a glimpse through the reception window. In the room,
a few sturdy men were currently enjoying a gamble, and apparently the game
was more important to them than the guarding of the hideout. Five or six men
were gathered around a tattered sofa and a low table. The security camera
screens on the table in the back of the room almost seemed like decoration, as
they were being ignored. Respecting the rules did not seem to be a big priority
here. When the door opened, the men, who had just racketed about, abruptly
They closed in on Feilong while chewing palm nuts. Among them was a
strongly-built man with a tattoo which ranged from his shoulder to his wrist. He
examined Feilong appraisingly.
"What a pretty Shao Ji*. What are you doing here?" [*Chin. term for a young
He arrogantly crossed his arms in front of his chest and spit on the dirty floor.
It looked more like an assembly of crooks than actual mafiosi. Every time he
opened his mouth, his teeth, colored red by palm nuts, appeared. Feilong knitted
"I am here to meet Yan... I mean, your boss. Take me to him!"
"Did you hear that?! He wants to see the boss!"
They roared with laughter. Had Feilong been in Hong Kong, he would have long
since blown their brains out by now, but he could hardly do that here. They
probably were not aware who was standing before them. They scrutinized him
with sneering grins and condescending glances. A man with a Fujian dialect
approached him, who seemed to be the leader of this gang.
"Hands up. Our boss is very nitpicky. First, we have to check your body
The other men, grinning, contracted the circle around Feilong so he had no
way to escape. Surrounded like this, he was now under close observation. The
leader stretched out his hand towards him.
Of course this wouldn't go smoothly, Feilong thought.
The moment the man was about to touch his shoulder, Feilong's hair fluttered
in the wind as, at frenzied speed, he dealt a kick to the man's chin.
Simultaneously with a pained scream, the noise of a bone breaking sounded. The
man was flung into the air and crashed to the ground.
"Don't touch me!"
"Ah... Kh... Uh... Ah!" The arm the man had just lifted to protect himself was
protruding at a strange angle. He writhed in agony, and blood trickled from his
No one really knew what had happened. The circle around Feilong became
wider again. He did not deign to look at the man cowering on the floor; instead,
his attitude imperious, he looked over to the other men. "If you go too far, it will
cost you dearly."
He gazed at them sharply. It was clear from his glance that he did not have
time to deal with insignificant minions. Finally, one of the men seemed to
understand, and his face grew as pale as death. "Hey... isn't that... the guy the
boss said would visit...?"
He probably remembered there had been an instruction by Yan Tsui
beforehand. As if their senses had returned, they stepped out of his way.
"Come on, take me to him!" Feilong indicated with a sharp movement of his
Underneath the bureau was a secret room, where the fragrance of incense
was hovering in the air. Contrary to the minor size of the organization, they
seemed to be doing rather well for themselves here. The furnishing in the
spacious room was designed in Chinese style, and a dragonfish with red scales
was leisurely swimming in a fish tank shimmering in blue. Further back, there
was a color-matched folding door. So the room continued beyond that.
"I am proud of you, Fei! You followed my instructions and came alone."
A man was sitting on a sofa which was covered by delicate wood craft, grinning
and leaning against the backrest. His Chang Pao* was loose and untidy,
[traditional Chinese clothing]
Feilong's countenance froze when he heard the voice. Is that... really Yan Tsui?
he asked himself.
Nothing of his elite appearance could be recognized anymore. His stepbrother
was sitting in front of him, tainted by the foulness of the mafia world, and one
could tell from his feral, garishly flashing gaze how much his life had spiraled out
Feilong suppressed his shock. "Yan Tsui..."
Even through the clothes, it was visible how skinny he was. Only his eyes were
gleaming - the typical aspect of a drug addict. His sleeves were rolled up, and
one could see the injection marks on his arm. Spies had already informed Feilong
about this change, but now that he was standing right in front of him, he was
overcome by a somber feeling. So Yan Tsui had already sunk so low... Through
the intake of opium or heroin, his mind and body were decayed; there was
nothing left of his former looks. The Russian mafia, led by Mikhail Arbatov,
supported Yan Tsui - it was not just money and weapons that found their way
from Russia to Yan Tsui, then. Feilong remembered Yan Tsui had once told him
Mikhail Arbatov was a soldier, but now it appeared the tide had been turned. It
was not discernible from Yan Tsui's bleary eyes what he thought about that.
Feilong was the head of the Hong Kong underworld, whereas Yan Tsui had been
cast out by the Baishe even though he was Liu Talen's son. Now that the two of
them were facing one another, Yan Tsui's altered form showed which decision
had affected the course of their lives.
"Don't you want to call me brother, like you used to?"
Feilong did not know what exactly he found so funny, but Yan Tsui was
laughing quietly to himself. If he let himself be provoked, he would give him what
he wanted. Beside the men that had brought Feilong inside, more confidants
were in the room; they acted as if they were the epitome of calm, but one could
read from their faces that they were keen on a dispute. And yet, the most
important person was missing - Tao was nowhere to be seen. Was he possibly
held at another place, or not even alive anymore? As long as Feilong had not
found that out, he could not do anything foolish. His impatience was increasing;
however, he kept himself under control and looked at Yan Tsui in silence.
"Ever the cunning sly dog. Men, you can step back."
Yan Tsui let as few as one of his men stay. This man was the only one of them
wearing an expression barely anything could be read from, and unlike the others,
he had a sharp look. He kept it hidden so it did not instantly strike the eye, but it
was apparent from the unusual bulge in his suit that there was a gun underneath
"I came alone like you demanded it. Give me backTao!"
"The boy you kidnapped!"
"Oh... you mean that brat?" scoffed Yan Tsui huskily.
He slowly rose from the sofa and shuffled over to Feilong. His breath almost
touched him, and he looked Feilong in the face.
"You seem to look after him pretty caringly. He's well-bred, too."
"Yan Tsui, you wretched bastard!"
Feilong's gaze hardened. Yan Tsui ignored his demand to give Tao back to him.
His eyes narrowed, he reached out his bony hand and stroked across Feilong's
"Your face still looks like a woman's."
The memory from seven years ago awoke inside Feilong. "Don't touch me!"
He intuitively wanted to slap the hand away, but the thin fingers seized his
chin, grabbing it with such strength that his face contorted with pain. "Kh.J"
"If you defy me, I don't know what I'm gonna do with the boy."
Those words at least gave away that Tao was still alive. Yan Tsui had always
been a cunning man. He would not kill Tao. After all, he could impede Feilong's
actions and threaten him with him as hostage. But as long as Feilong had not
assured himself of Tao's well-being, it was not wise to oppose Yan Tsui.
"Yes, that's right! You don't have to do anything other than obey me."
He laughed and let go of Feilong's chin. Then he stepped behind Feilong, who
had to put up with it, and wrapped both his arms around him.
"Yan, what are you doing?!"
"First, I want to make sure you're not hiding anything dangerous."
Yan Tsui's hands, which clasped Feilong from both sides, slid down his body
Again... Feilong thought. Yan Tsui was in the act of performing a body search in
front of his subordinate. Feilong had heard those words once before, and he was
not just tired but sick of them.
"Do what you want!"
He would only make Yan Tsui happy if he lost his composure, and so he stood
there with his head held high. Yan Tsui lifted Feilong's hair and pressed his lips
against his neck. He licked across it, and Feilong's hair stood on end. His jacket
buttons were opened, and Yan Tsui's hand brushed across his chest.
Even though he did not touch Feilong's body with much force, the obtrusive
way his hand moved was repulsive to him. Yan Tsui fumbled around extensively,
as if he were recapturing his sensations from seven years ago that way. Feilong
felt his body warmth through the fabric, and he now perceived his brother's
body odor again after a long time. However, this did to no degree spark nostalgia
inside him, but solely negative feelings. Only Yan Tsui's rugged breath filled the
room. His underling was watching the scenario with calm eyes.
"As far as that goes, you haven't changed, Yan Tsui."
Yan Tsui chuckled and eventually whispered into his ear, "And you? Does the
touch of your brother arouse you?"
It made Feilong's skin crawl as Yan Tsui ran his tongue across the outline of his
ear. "Maybe in your dreams..."
"You can just be honest with yourself, Fei."
Yan Tsui's right hand, which had been groping across his chest as yet, now
slipped down to Feilong's hip, and a gentle grip between his legs made Feilong's
knees tremble. Yan Tsui touched the suit pants and lifted Feilong's penis. In
doing so, he stimulated it with his hand. His breathing beside Feilong's ear was
becoming heavier, and he pressed his hips against him.
"Yan!" Feilong could feel Yan Tsui's manhood and could not help but swallow.
His face became pale. He may only have been his stepbrother, but what kind of
brother would get aroused by grabbing another brother between the legs?
Animated by Yan Tsui's fast puffs of breath, Feilong was breathing harder as
well. He tightly clutched the arms that encircled him, so as not to make a sound,
and firmly clenched his teeth. But no matter how hard he tried, he could not
stop his body from withdrawing. Yan Tsui immediately pulled Feilong's hips back
against him and pressed his torso forward so that Feilong's backside stuck out
towards him. As the fingers ran across the fabric at his butt, Feilong jerked his
The up and down motion eventually stopped at the height of his anus. An
instinctive sense of fear made him shiver. Yan Tsui's low voice and his tongue
played around his ear, and his fingers sank deeper. "You didn't hide anything
here either, Fei?"
"So I found something after all!"
Feilong turned around and was shown a gun - it was his own, which Yan Tsui
had pulled from the holster at his hip. His brother must have noticed it a while
ago, when he had stepped behind Feilong. Fie ground his teeth and glared at him
"Don't you have enough by now? Let me see Tao!"
"Not so fast! The night is still young."
Fie toyed with the gun he had taken away from Feilong, and his face distorted
strangely while he laughed; it seemed like he greatly enjoyed being able to do
anything he wanted to Feilong. It had been involuntary, yet Feilong was still
angry that he had lost his poise. Yan Tsui walked away a bit and picked up a
remote control which lay on the table.
"Anyway, I did promise it..."
The accordion door at the end of the room opened as soon as he pressed the
remote. The chamber situated behind the door was a bedroom. Its luxurious
Chinese interior decoration was slowly revealed, equally a bed and antique
porcelain, as well as a chest. Shortly before the door had parted completely,
Feilong swallowed. His gaze was directed at the chair in the corner.
On the chair sat a boy with his head hanging, hands tied together to the rest
behind his back. His straight hair and characteristic hair whirl left no room for
doubt - it was Tao! He seemed to have been battered badly. A bruise was visible
on his cheek, and they had blindfolded him with a white cloth. When Feilong
spotted a reddish-black stain of blood on Tao's disarrayed shirt, he felt the blood
in his veins begin to boil.
"Hold it right there!"
Yan Tsui aimed the weapon in his hand at Tao. Feilong's face turned ashen,
and he abruptly came to a halt. Yan Tsui's subordinate, who had held himself
back until then, caught him in a headlock.
"Let me go!"
"He's only unconscious. But depending on what you do, that can change
"You disgusting...! What did you do to Tao?!"
Yan Tsui seemed to delight in Feilong's raging demeanor and laughed until his
shoulders were shaking. "He had to play cool and didn't wanna hold still. That's
why I smacked him so he'd keep his mouth shut. I even blindfolded him so he
wouldn't be scared. Aren't I nice?"
Were Yan Tsui not holding Tao hostage, Feilong could have put an end to all of
this long ago. In the clutch of the henchman, he shouted, "You better not harm a
single hair on Tao's head!"
He is your son... he continued his sentence in his mind. He could not tolerate
Yan Tsui hurting Tao, whatever the cost. Feilong knew from his own experience
how painful it was when parents turned against their own child with murderous
intents. But his hate-filled look apparently spurred Yan Tsui's desire.
He burst out laughing at the top of his voice, and without pointing the weapon
away from Tao, he commanded, "Hold this brat's head tight, will you!"
The underling obeyed and let up on Feilong. He still kept his eyes on him
attentively and whipped a knife out of his breast pocket, then he grabbed Tao's
head by the hair, pulled it back, and positioned the sharp blade at his thin throat.
A light pressure would be enough to cut through the carotid artery. Feilong
"We haven't seen each other in so long. Even though we're brothers! Let's
savor our reunion, Fei!"
Yan Tsui, who now left his place to his henchman, gave a loud laugh and sat
down on the bed at the side. He nodded indecently to Feilong, who was merely
standing there silently. "Come, Fei!"
"What are you up to now?"
"I only want to give you a treat. Seven years ago, Father got in my way, but
now there's no one left to disturb us anymore."
Feilong believed he could see Yan Tsui's true face in the obscene laugh. Now he
pointed the weapon at him and dictated, "Enough talking! Get a move on, Fei!"
At that moment, Feilong knew the score. It was Yan Tsui's aim to oppress him
once more and force his desire upon him. He had always viewed Feilong as his
property. On the one hand, he looked down on him and believed Feilong did not
have any right to succession; on the other hand, he was jealous of his quick wit.
By playing with him like a chess piece, Yan Tsui had vented his anger on him, and
now too, he tried to subdue Feilong in the same way.
And for this selfish idiocy he has Too! he thought. At this notion, Feilong's
body shook with fury.
However, should he fight back, Yan Tsui would order his henchman to cut
Tao's throat without batting an eye. He darted a vitriolic glance at him and
wordlessly stepped closer to the bed. Yan Tsui arrogantly spread his legs and
indicated to him with a nod to kneel down before him. That Tao did not have to
witness this was Feilong's only comfort. He bent his knees and was now sitting
between Yan Tsui's widely opened legs.
"Go on, lick me!"
With a quick movement of the hand, he pushed his pants away and held his
aroused manhood out to him. Stimulated by Feilong's kneeling down, a drop of
precome beaded at his glans. When Feilong averted his face, Yan Tsui clutched
his hair, pulled him closer forcefully, and pressed the bud of his sex to his lips.
Disgusted by the slick precome, Feilong's brows tightened, and he clawed at Yan
Tsui's thighs. Apparently Feilong's detesting expression aroused Yan Tsui, for his
cock grew even harder.
Feilong knew that it would gratify him the more he showed his repulsion, but
he simply could not help it. The sticky drops Yan Tsui was rubbing against him
were nauseating. Fie looked down at Feilong triumphantly, who tried to suppress
"Open your mouth and please me! You know what's going to happen if you
Yan Tsui seemed to lose patience with Feilong's resistance and grabbed his
chin. In the process, he tried to open the tightly shut mouth by force with his
fingers. Without surrendering his wordlessly defiant attitude, Feilong's gaze
wandered to Tao, who was behind him. Yan Tsui's subordinate continued to hold
the knife to Tao's throat without being impressed by the cruelty of his boss, and
Tao was still unconscious and presenting his throat defenselessly.
"If you don't want the little boy to die, you should obey me!"
At first those words brought Feilong close to despair, but he instantly changed
his mind - if he could protect Tao with it, a defilement by Yan Tsui was
meaningless. Fie cast down his eyes and opened his lips. Yan Tsui's warm sex
pushed apart the rows of his teeth and vigorously invaded his throat. FHis
member was bigger than expected; the skin at the corners of Feilong's mouth
cracked, and his jaw joint protested.
"Agh... Gh!" Due to the advance, his throat tightened at the imminent gag
reflex, and he involuntarily bit down. Yan Tsui clicked his tongue disapprovingly
and withdrew his hip again. When his cock abandoned Feilong, he started to
"You amateur! I told you not to bite!"
"Flah.J Flah.J Uh..." Feilong's spit, mixed with the seed, ran down his lips, yet
he looked up at Yan Tsui disparagingly. Fie only had to be patient until he knew
Tao was safe. Fie was not so weak as to break because of something like that,
and his pride would not be affected by it either.
"What's with that look?"
Feilong's consistently collected and confident attitude only appeared to anger
Yan Tsui further. He pressed the gun opening against Feilong's forehead, on
which damp strands were hanging down. Feilong did not know whether it was
because of Yan Tsui's rage or due to the drugs, but his finger on the trigger was
"You really seem to be depraved to the core, Yan Tsui."
"Shut up! It seems to me that you're not aware of what kind of situation
Once more, Yan Tsui grabbed him by the hair and forced him to look up, and
then shoved his aroused sex into Feilong's mouth again, rubbing his glans on his
upper jaw. He pressed forward into his mouth greedily with ferocious thrusts of
his hip. Even if Feilong tried to push him back with his tongue, his cock was too
big for that. Each of Yan Tsui's movements caused the saliva to trickle down his
chin and throat, and the lack of air made his eyes water.
"You will learn what it means to be humiliated!"
"Uh! Ungh, uh.J" Feilong perceived the scent of fresh manhood, felt bristly
pubic hair, and noticed the taste of concentrated secretion spreading on his
tongue. Yan Tsui's obtrusive fire got caught in the depths of his throat. Was
there still no end to Yan Tsui's thirst for revenge, even after seven years?
Through the unrelenting act, Feilong became his toy, and instinctively, tears
welled up inside him.
"Finally my wish comes true... I've always wanted to do this to you..." Yan
Tsui's face contorted as he desirously directed those virtually lunatic words at
Feilong, his breath resembling the one of a wild beast. His cock was hard and big
and tormented Feilong, who endured the humiliation and looked up at him with
partly contemptuous, partly pitying eyes - Yan Tsui should go ahead and think he
had managed to subjugate him. Even though these were his silent thoughts, Yan
Tsui seemed to have surmised his sentiments. He spoke breathlessly, with
bloodshot eyes; it sounded like crazed ramblings.
"It's your fault! Because you went away, I lost everything! Everything is your
fault... Fei! If you had just simply obeyed me...!"
He had presumably laid the blame for his own inadequacy on Feilong ever since
the Baishe had started to persecute him - no, most likely even before that.
Yan Tsui seized Feilong's head with his hand and violently moved it back and
forth. Feilong's mouth was being abused with nasty sounds. Yan Tsui was fierce
as though he wanted to express his repressed hatred and buried desire that way.
"I'm not indulgent like Father! I will subdue you so that you can't resist me
With drive, he pulled his member out of Feilong's mouth, who had nearly
choked on it, then he pulled his hair and made him stand up.
"You're deranged... Father was..."
But without being able to finish his sentence, Feilong was pushed onto the bed
behind him. Yan Tsui ripped off his shirt, the buttons scattered in all directions,
and Feilong's magnificent long hair spread over his exposed chest. Yan Tsui did
not curb the force with which he brought his reluctant body under control, and
Feilong groaned with pain.
"Father was always lenient towards you, but with me, he never made
compromises. Even though you left, he blamed me for it. That was why I killed
him. It's your fault Father died, Fei!"
Frozen, Feilong held his breath. Did Yon Tsui kill Father for that reason?!
Like an angry beast, Yan Tsui slid above Feilong, and repulsive glances ran
across Feilong's naked skin. Reality seemed to him like an old slow-motion scene
played without sound. In the face of the man seething with envy and craving, a
mole was visible on the cheek.
In his heart, Feilong asked for his father's forgiveness and closed his eyes. Liu
Talen had always loved him, without favoring his natural son, Yan Tsui. Now he
could not meet his plea not to quarrel with his brother. Yan Tsui had already
been consumed by darkness and was now controlled by it. The person in front of
him was not his brother. There was nothing but a vulgar man who had thrown
away the name Liu Yan Tsui and worked his way up to the top of the Taiwanese
And he is Tao's father... he thought.
Feilong opened his eyes. All his doubts dissolved and left only minor hurt
behind. He stayed lying on his back and looked at Yan Tsui with dry eyes.
"It's over, Yan!"
Even though his exterior had changed so much that it was difficult to recognize
Yan Tsui, his wicked grudge had not altered; if anything, his mania had worsened
considerably due to the drugs. It would not be long anymore until both body and
soul were wrecked.
"What's with that look?! I could never stand that look of yours!"
Feilong was looking at him disdainfully, yet with pity, which seemed to
aggravate him. While Yan Tsui was breathing heavily, his grip around the gun
tightened. Feilong instantly closed his eyes. A dull noise sounded, followed by
blurring perception, and the throbbing in his ears alternated with faint pain. He
concluded Yan Tsui must have hit him with the handle. The taste of blood
spreading in his mouth led him to open his eyes -then he spat at Yan Tsui with
his saliva mixed with blood.
Yan Tsui was fuming with anger and got ready to say something. But then he
appeared to have changed his mind and started grinning meaningfully. "Say,
whatever did happen with that Japanese?"
Feilong's shoulders jerked briefly. Yan Tsui lifted his chin with the barrel of the
gun so that Feilong's unprotected throat lay bare. The cold muzzle slowly
brushed across his white skin and paused before the gunshot wound that had
been given to him seven years ago. Yan Tsui ran across the injury over and over,
as if he meant to abuse it.
"This bullet wound... Who did you get that from? Was it that man as well?
You're not saying anything. Right on the money, then... This one is new though."
The muzzle slid further upwards and pressed to the scar on his groin. Feilong
could feel how the anorganic metal was gradually being warmed up by his body.
"I bet you cheated some guy again and screwed things up in the process."
The gun began wandering over his skin once more.
Some guy-that was Asami Ryuichi. Along with that unforgettable name, this
person who had shot him not just once but twice appeared before Feilong's
inner eye. In compensation for the lateral gunshot wound, however, Feilong had
been able to injure him as well. On the ship, Asami's wound had not yet been
fully healed. Feilong wondered whether Asami was aware that his rage when
Akihito had been shot had been greater than at the moment he had been shot
"Flow many others after him did you deceive with this body?"
Yan Tsui rubbed across Feilong's nipples, causing Feilong to furl his eyebrows.
The maltreated small buds swelled up redly, and Yan Tsui played with the hard
peaks, grinning maliciously.
"After your release from prison, you didn't have anyone supporting you. Flow
did you manage to work your way up to the top of the Baishe in such a short
time? It definitely can't have just been one, two men. You're so lewd..."
Fie indecently ran the gun over the slight bulge in Feilong's pants. Feilong's
eyes jerked open, but his expression immediately became adamant again. FHis
emotions momentarily started seething against his will but quickly vanished
again, and cold contempt was now ruling his heart.
This firm answer made Yan Tsui doubt, whereas Feilong's feelings remained
dull. The meaning of the past years and months now became clear to him.
It was true that Feilong had used people who had been interested in him for
his own ends, no matter if man or woman, and he had utilized his body as a
means of seduction to get people disturbing the organization out of the way. But
that had happened at the time when he had still been his brother's puppet; Yan
Tsui himself had forced him to do so, but he disregarded that and instead
accused Feilong. Fie had already once torn off Feilong's clothes and spitefully
condemned him because he triggered sexual desire within men. That night had
been the elicitor for Feilong to break with his brother, and it had probably been
irony of fate that he had encountered Asami that very night. Flowever, now he
could say of himself that he did not use his body to seduce others anymore. But
he had to try to ruffle Yan Tsui, and put on a faint smile. When Yan Tsui saw that,
he snorted while laughing and looked at Feilong disdainfully.
"P...Phh! I bet you did it with that Japanese as well and used him, didn't you?
Come on and tell me, how did he fuck you?"
It seemed he wanted to restore his balance this way, for the superficiality of
his words was undeniable, and he appeared to have realized that too. Irritated,
he pressed the gun between Feilong's legs. His body began to tremble. He knew
Yan Tsui's scornful words only served as a provocation. So as not to endanger
Tao, he stifled the urge of wanting to offer resistance and closed his eyes.
"What sounds did you make when you exposed your body to him and he
Yan Tsui opened Feilong's belt so that his underwear was bared before him.
Even with his eyes shut, he could feel how Yan Tsui's gaze wandered over his
body. Yan Tsui ran his hand over the underwear and his most vulnerable place,
tracing the contours of his cock, and then massaged the spot with the palm of
his hand. Feilong knew he would lose if he reacted to that, but he could not bear
it any longer.
"I can't hear you, Fei!"
Yan Tsui scratched across Feilong's nipples, making him jolt upward with a
jerk. Fie pinched the redly puffed up nubs so tightly that it felt like he wanted to
rip them out. Feilong writhed to escape the pain.
"Asami... didn't take me!"
Yan Tsui tossed the gun away, grabbed Feilong by the throat, and began
squeezing like a maniac.
"Uuh...!" Feilong's body grew hot, as if his blood was boiling inside him, and he
gasped for breath. His eyes became red, and his pale body squirmed like the one
of a snake.
It was not a lie.
With the instinctive fear one is overcome by if one's own life is in danger, his
memories of that night returned. He had known that it had been a trap by Yan
Tsui, but that had not prevented him from going back to the estate. Asami had
tried to stop him from doing so. When Feilong had long since accepted being a
mere pawn for Yan Tsui, and it had already left him cold, it had been Asami who
had reignited his feelings. He was the only one who had ever seen Feilong cry; in
front of no one else had he ever been so foolish as to exhibit such behavior.
Asami didn't take me... He could have if he had wanted to. That night I was
beside myself it was pathetic. Asami soothed me with a kiss. He only did it so I
would calm down again. But that's exactly why we are still on an egual footing.
Had Asami held him at that time, their power relation would not have been
balanced anymore. Feilong would have disdained him as a lecherous man and it
would not have been difficult for him to let him go, for sex was nothing more
than an act which marked who one belonged to, body and soul. He thought of
Asami's words, "Have you become a complete sissy by now?"
He remembered Asami's disapproving glance at their reencounter after Feilong
had kidnapped Akihito, and recalled how Asami's inflamed fury had been
directed at only him - the thought alone filled him with strange delight, and a
sense of satisfaction spread inside him.
"Ph...l" His breathing became restless, and the corners of his mouth twitched
upward. He had managed to hurt someone important to Asami. He had not been
able to fire a bullet through the Japanese man's heart, but he had definitely
inflicted a wound on him with this step.
"Is it painful, Fei? This is nothing, compared to what I had to go through."
Yan Tsui's sardonic laughter sounded sometimes high, sometimes low.
Feilong's heart was racing like mad, and he sensed he was slowly losing
consciousness. Everything blurred in his head. He opened his eyes slightly; his
reflection was visible in the eyes of the man watching him. As though it were
being devoured by the murky abyss, the face of his brother shifted itself more
and more in front of Asami's.
Do you want... to kill me... Asami?
His misty eyes opened wide as if in a trance. Fear and a marginal fraction of
delight spread all over his body, which started convulsing.
Suddenly, the pressure at his throat disappeared. He started to cough and
buried his face in the sheets. His lungs were burning as oxygen streamed inside,
and his distant, dull eyes still could not perceive reality yet.
"So I barely start talking about him and you're suddenly on fire? Your body
simply is honest, Fei."
Yan Tsui gripped Feilong's underwear. Feilong had not realized it, but he was
aroused - his underpants stretched so much that it was visible how hard he had
gotten. His pants were pulled down to his knees along with his underwear. His
manhood, which was sticking out and rocking heavily, was caught by a warm
hand, and Feilong rubbed the back of his head on the linen. "Aah.J Ah...!"
Yan Tsui was toying with his tender spot, violently stimulating his erogenous
zone. Feilong could not suppress an erotic sigh. He wanted to escape everything,
but at the same time his body remembered the tenderness of that night.
I and a man... ?! he had thought back then. Asami's skillful caress had thrown
his moral concepts into disarray.
"That guy... did it with you like this!"
Yan Tsui's trembling voice, sounding upset, mingled with his raw breath.
Feilong's cock was fully erect with a wantonly wet tip; a thick drop stuck to Yan
Tsui's fingers, and every up and down movement was accompanied by
shamelessly slick sounds. Feilong felt a warm puff of breath on his oversensitive
skin, and his body arched upwards. "Ah!"
Lips pressed on his bare chest. As if he were pecking across his skin, Yan Tsui
kissed him over and over, and with each kiss, Feilong's breath grew wilder. A
warm, moist feeling crept across his stomach and touched his blooming buds.
With loud noises, Yan Tsui licked his cock, and Feilong's hand, which was lying
under his body, clutched at the sheet.
A...Asami... he called out in his mind. The line between past and present was
still blurred, and at some point, the person violating him had exchanged places
with a phantasm of Asami.
The weight of the male body leaning over him, the lips running across his skin,
the warmth he was sharing - as this unparalleled memory was stirred inside him,
the happenings of that night played out before him once again, and he relived
them with all his senses. Through Asami's fierce caress, he had opened his body
and revealed his true face, which he had kept hidden away deep inside him. He
had disclosed the feelings he had for his family to Asami - something he had
never done before - and surrendered himself entirely to Asami's hands stroking
"Ah... Aah.J" Precome was dripping from his glans ceaselessly, and his need
for release grew stronger. He shook his head. His hair, which was spread across
the sheet, waved and glistened with sweat. The hallucination evoked by the lack
of oxygen was like a drug - it felt good. Feilong's feeling of pleasure gradually
reached its peak, and his breath became more shallow and faster, until his seed
erupted in one dash. His hip lifted and jerked convulsively, and the cloudy liquid
spurted powerfully on his stomach and the sheets.
Slowly, the ecstasy ebbed away, and Feilong exhaled the bottled-up breath of
air. He lifted his flushed face with his chest quivering. A sticky noise sounded
when the hand released his cock.
"I wonder in what way you took men inside you and pleased them..."
The man's hand was actually supposed to softly stroke over his cheek now, but
instead, it spread his legs wide and pushed itself between them. Feilong's eyes
widened as it eventually touched a spot at his butt that should not be touched.
"Ah...!" The inside of this thighs cramped to deny the man his advance, and the
pain of the forcible penetration let him wake from his delusion.
"Tell me, how did you return his touch?"
Feilong's focus became sharp again, and the blurred shapes cleared up. The
man's face appeared; he was relishing in how the opening contracted to repel
the intrusion and licked his lips.
It was not Asami.
"Yan Tsui!" Feilong wanted to exclaim; however, he pulled himself together
and looked around. Tao was sitting as limp as before in the clutch of Yan Tsui's
subordinate. His skin appeared to be injured, since a little blood was shimmering
on the blade that was held to his throat.
"Yan... I beg you... Tao should...!"
"You want me to take that Tao boy away from here?"
It was like a slap in the face for Feilong to see Tao in front of him, without
knowing when he would wake up again. This seemed to highly delight Yan Tsui.
"I refuse!" He laughed spitefully and pulled back his fingers, then ruthlessly
seized Feilong by the shoulders and forced him to turn on his stomach. When he
tried to put up resistance, Yan Tsui eventually grabbed his head as if he were a
dog and pressed him into the sheets like he wanted to suffocate him.
"Gh.J" Yan Tsui made him assume a position where only his hips were raised,
causing Feilong to grimace with humiliation. Yan Tsui had probably planned to
take him directly before Tao's eyes from the start. This distasteful intent made
Feilong want to vomit.
"Wake that brat up!"
Yan Tsui's underling removed Tao's blindfold. Tao's eyes were shut, but his
face was now uncovered. Feilong called in a husky voice, "Stop it, Yan Tsui!"
He did not want Tao to see Yan Tsui lay hands on him under any circumstances
- how much would it hurt Tao's heart, should he have to bear this sight. Yan Tsui
grabbed the writhing Feilong and pulled him close. He was like a predator playing
with its prey.
"Is that Tao this important to you?"
At Feilong's silence, he laughed and continued, "If you spread your legs before
me properly like a good boy and obey me, I might consider not waking him up."
He brushed across Feilong's exposed hole.
It sickened him; however, if he did not comply with Yan Tsui's directions, his
henchman would carry out the command on the spot. Feilong audibly ground his
teeth and opened his legs slightly.
"More! So I can see everything better!"
Yan Tsui answered with a callous laugh. The rustle of him taking off his
underwear made Feilong despair. Knowing that his most fervent wish, to defile
Feilong, was finally coming true caused Yan Tsui to rejoice, and he gleefully
brought out his sex.
"Km gonna ravish you till you go crazy!"
If Feilong raised his voice, Tao might wake up from it - he had to do his utmost
to avoid that. With his neck curved, he bit down on the sheets. Now he could
feel Yan Tsui's cock at his crevice. In one motion, Yan Tsui rubbed off his
precome on his butt and defined his aim. Feilong sensed something was about to
enter him. His breath faltered.
Fie told himself he was not a woman. Sex with the same gender had no
meaning at all. The anguish and disgrace the rape was accompanied by would
only last as long as the act would take...
But strangely enough, his brother was quite slow to enter him. Did he want to
tease him? Feilong peered over his shoulder.
Fie had been mistaken. The only thing he saw was Yan Tsui's limp manhood.
Yan Tsui cursed. "Shit!"
For a moment, Feilong did not know what was going on. But then it dawned on
him; apparently it was an erectile dysfunction, caused by the excessive use of
heroin. Of course the body functions were damaged by the taking of addictive,
adulterated drugs, and for men it came into addition that they were not able to
maintain an erection.
Yan Tsui began stroking himself restlessly, but nothing stirred. A disapproving
click of the tongue sounded. "Dammit! Fley, you! Bring me the stuff!"
Fie irritably ordered his henchman to bring him his drugs. At first, he looked
back and forth between Tao and Feilong hesitantly, but then he put down his
knife and moved away from Tao. At this very moment, there was the earsplitting
bang of an explosion. The whole building quaked and the illumination flickered.
Very faintly, one could hear swift steps through the ceiling, and eventually, all
lights went out.
"What's happening here? A power outage?"
Yan Tsui's subordinate answered his indignant question. "Possibly lightning
struck somewhere close by."
"I hope the containers in the warehouse stayed safe though!"
Apart from Yan Tsui's insecure movement away from the bed, Feilong sensed
something stirring in the dark, and a slight whiff of gunpowder reached his
nostrils in the blackness of the cellar. He stiffened and held his breath.
One , two, three... four... five, he counted in his mind.
The periodically emitted light shock waves caused the air to vibrate. His
sharpened sense of hearing perceived the clicking of cartridge casings and a
groan, followed by a dull sound, as if something heavy had fallen over, and
promptly thereafter, a loud metallic noise was audible, bouncing across the
floor. For a few seconds it sounded intermittently, then everything went quiet.
The eerie silence was eventually ended when the lights in the room came back
on. Simultaneously with the subordinate collapsing to the ground, Yan Tsui
Feilong sat up and saw Yoh standing in the door, a gun in his raised hand.
Apparently, he had taken advantage of the thunderstorm and broken in here.
His hair was wet.
"Sorry for the delay!"
Clad in all-black, it was only the bright bloody streaks on his cheek that set
colored accents. The previous quake had probably been supposed to serve as an
epic diversionary maneuver. Also, the impulse waves had coincided with the
number of rowdy men in the office.
"You fucking...!" The sudden appearance of the killer made Yan Tsui rage, but
when he was about to lift the gun, Yoh instantly reacted with his right hand, and
Yan Tsui's weapon was knocked out of his grip. He clutched his now numb arm
and slumped to the ground.
Without losing his wariness, Yoh directed the muzzle at Yan Tsui and slid into
the room. He was carrying a compact sniper rifle built for melee. The man who
had held the knife to Tao's throat was already lying on the floor, dead, and
behind the open door, there were more lifeless bodies - probably guards who
had belonged to Yan Tsui's men. Every single one of them was marked with a
precise shot through the forehead. No one had been given the opportunity to
utter a scream.
"Are you uninjured, Master Feilong?"
Feilong rearranged his clothing. Having gotten up from the bed, he walked
over to Tao at once. "Tao!"
He was sitting limply reclined against the chair with closed eyes. Yoh threw a
knife to Feilong without turning his weapon away from Yan Tsui, allowing Feilong
to sever the rope Tao was tied to the chair with. The thin body, typical for a lanky
boy like him, fell into Feilong's arms.
He squeezed him to his chest and whispered into his ear with a sigh,
"Everything is all right, Tao!"
He was unconscious, but his breathing was normal. One could tell by looking at
the boy how much of a fight he had put up. The mark of one stroke looked
especially awful. But even though Feilong's anger was great, the relieving feeling
of finally having regained what was important to him prevailed above all. He
lifted the unconscious body up and rose in one flowing movement. At this
instant, Yoh's grim voice filled the air.
"A cruel thing you have done there."
At the sight of Feilong's half-naked body, Yoh could guess what had almost
happened in this room. Fury flamed up in his cold gaze, and he pointed the gun
barrel directly at Yan Tsui's head. Yan Tsui lost his composure and backed off
until he was leaning with his back against the wall.
"W...Wait! Who do you think you're talking...?!"
"You were cast out of Hong Kong for the murder of To. I'm surprised you're
not dying of shame, doing something like that to your brother!"
Yoh stayed calm - it was Yan Tsui who was becoming nervous. His sunken eyes
widened. But the next second, he burst out laughing loudly as if he had lost his
mind. "Fu ha ha ha ha! I didn't kill To! Feilong set all of it up! He pinned
everything on me so I was chased away. I should have become head of the
Baishe instead of this prostitute!"
The sniper rifle at Yan Tsui's forehead made him fall silent at once. For Yoh, he
was nothing more than a rebel who had tried to rape Feilong for his perverted
purposes. Yan Tsui seemed to guess his sentiments as well now, and it made him
break out in a cold sweat. As if he were a different person, he said in a flattering
voice, "P...Please wait! Wait, will you! Do you really think it would be okay to do
that? Think about it carefully! I'm entitled to become the successor of the
Baishe! If you belong to the clan, the murder of your own kin is a taboo, am I
right? You shouldn't make a mistake now and pledge allegiance to the wrong
The air conditioner was running at the highest level, but Yan Tsui was
perspiring an unusually excessive amount. His mind and body were completely
corroded. He did not look like one could talk to him reasonably anymore. His
incoherent assertions, which were supposed to take the blame away from him,
only led Yoh to look at him contemptuously as if he were something dirty.
"I am not connected with the Baishe anymore whatsoever. Feilong alone is my
master. I could tell you the same - you should know your manners!"
The finger at the trigger tensed. That was too much for Yan Tsui, and he cried
out like a madman. At this moment, Feilong shouted, "Stop, Yoh!"
Just in time, Yoh's finger halted. He looked at Feilong in bewilderment. "Why?!
You told me to..."
... kill Yan Tsui in secret. That was the mission. Why, then, did Feilong keep him
from doing it? It was justifiably incomprehensible to Yoh. However...
Feilong's desperate glance fell on the face of the boy. "Not before Tao's
When Tao had been little, Feilong had not seen the similarity, but after his
period of growth, his facial features somehow resembled Yan Tsui's at the time
when he had still been a child. Interestingly enough, Tao's face was even more
similar to that of Feilong's stepfather than Yan Tsui's, which presently looked
tired and haggard.
"This man... Yan Tsui, is Tao's father."
"You can't be serious?!" Yoh cast Feilong a surprised glance.
After a short pause, Feilong went on deploringly, "It's the truth!"
Even though he had not wanted to play an active part himself, it was him who
had devised the plan to take Yan Tsui's life. And yet he did not want him to be
killed in front of his child, even if the outcome was the same. It may only have
been ostensible conscientiousness, but he did not want Tao to have to go
through the same thing he once had.
"All right, then."
Yoh saw in Feilong's expression that it was the truth. Fie looked back and forth
between Feilong and Yan Tsui and temporarily lowered his gun. So Yan Tsui had
once again dodged a bullet. One could see how his sweaty neck relaxed. There
was no doubt that this big secret was the main reason why Feilong had wanted
to keep Tao away from Taiwan. Yoh knew Feilong's past. Fie knew his father had
been killed before his eyes seven years ago, and that his vindictive feelings
towards Asami had fueled him so strongly that he had eventually overcome the
shock. And at that very instant, it happened.
Feilong heard a quiet voice and dropped his gaze to his arms with a start. Tao,
who had been unconscious just a moment ago, was sitting there with wide eyes.
This horrible moment made Feilong freeze. Flad he by any chance witnessed
the conversation right now? Even though he had said it to stop Yoh, his own
carelessness rendered him speechless.
"Master Fei... is that... true?"
Just now that Tao had seen Yan Tsui's twisted soul, Feilong did not want him to
learn about it. But how could he deny it now? Stricken by remorse and distress,
Feilong struggled for an answer. Flowever, his silence was enough of a response
for Tao. Fie was shattered.
"I'm... his son?"
Fie slowly turned his gaze away from Feilong, toward Yan Tsui.
Tears flooded his big black eyes, making them resemble the surging sea; Tao's
heart, on the other hand, was swaying like in a storm tide. Without saying a
word, he pushed Feilong's arm aside and was now standing shakily on the
ground. The man who had kidnapped and done violence to him was his natural
father. On top of that, he was the head of a rival organization. That was even
harder to accept.
"Flah...! Fla ha ha!" All of a sudden, Yan Tsui let out a shrill guffaw and
proceeded to action. Fie took the opportunity while the others were distracted
by the conversation and kicked Yoh's arm. Yoh ducked down and leapt to the
side. Yan Tsui now pulled his own gun and directed it at Feilong.
"I'm going to kill you!"
Yoh was faster than the bang by a hairsbreadth - he encircled Feilong with his
arms and threw himself into the shelter of the bed. Meanwhile Yan Tsui kept
shooting indiscriminately and tucked Tao, who had taken cover on the floor,
under his arm.
Yan Tsui perceived Feilong's pained outcry as gratifying and tightened his grip
around the struggling Tao. "Guns away and get out of there! Otherwise I don't
know what I'm gonna do to that boy!"
Feilong screamed when he saw how he held the gun to the boy's head, "Yan
Tsui! I told you! Fle's your son!"
Yan Tsui was not discouraged. On the contrary, there was no sign that he
intended to lower the firearm again. Feilong and Yoh stayed in the shadow of the
bed, but the former was at a loss for words. The life of his own son did not
matter to Yan Tsui at all.
"You're using him as your shield?! You are scum, Yan Tsui!"
Yan Tsui gave a fearless laugh, although he still kept the gun muzzle directed at
Tao. "You're not really different from me, Feilong! You can't tell me you forgot
that you pointed a gun at me seven years ago."
Feilong remembered how he had threatened Yan Tsui with his weapon when
he had no longer been able to stand the tyranny. Fie could not tell whether it had
really been his intention to kill him back then, but he knew that if his
subordinates had not held him back, he undoubtedly would have pulled the
trigger. Feilong had let Yan Tsui become acquainted with his fierce temper, and
Yan Tsui had learned to fear him.
"I'm not like you! I still have feelings, as opposed to you!"
Only later had Feilong learned that it had not been Asami who had shot him,
but To. For a long time, he had blamed Asami and tried to thereby keep his
emotions under control. Fie did not want Tao to make the same mistake. Fie did
not want him to bear the same hatred within him.
"Scum or not, the one who survives comes out as the winner. If you don't want
anything to happen to the shrimp, I advise you to come across with the gun."
Yan Tsui's state was not normal. Irritating him further would be dangerous.
Feilong looked at Yoh with an agonized expression - that seemed to be enough
for him to understand.
"All right! We'll do what you say."
Yoh stood up slowly and unfastened the sniper rifle from the holster, then he
lifted his hands and kicked the weapon away and before Yan Tsui's feet. Yan Tsui
kicked it under the bed, his gun unchangingly at Tao's forehead, and retreated
towards the door step by step. Apparently he wanted to take flight with the
hostage as a shield.
"Yan Tsui, let Tao go!"
"Shut up! Come on and get moving, you brat!"
Once, he had murdered his own father, and now he put the life of his son on
the line for his own. Yan Tsui's actions and words, which were more than
despicable, let Feilong's feelings go cold.
"Hey, boy! Didn't you hear me?!"
That Tao did not stir at all made Yan Tsui impatient. He tried dragging him to
the door; however, Tao stood glued to the spot, his eyes wide open but his gaze
empty. There were too many shocking truths crashing down upon him.
"This man... who does bad things to Master Fei... is my father?" He stammered
the words as if they were but feverish fantasies. The fact that the man who had
tried to kill his master was his father was difficult to accept for the smart, gentle
"You're my son, ain't you! Then do as you're told!"
Just at that instant, he looked up sharply with his damp eyes. Suddenly he
showed his white teeth and sank them into the arm which held him. This surprise
attack caused Yan Tsui to give a shout. "You damn brat!"
He pushed Tao away from himself and, in the heat of the moment, directed the
gun at him ruthlessly.
Yoh lunged for Tao, who rolled across the floor, and two gunshots sounded
almost simultaneously. Empty cartridge cases fell to the floor, and Tao yelled,
Yoh had fired a shot with a hidden gun, and the bullet flung Yan Tsui's weapon
to the ground. One knee on the floor, Yoh was holding his left shoulder; blood
oozed out from under his fingers, dripping to the ground and soaking his shirt.
When Feilong saw the red stains, he felt how his emotions froze. He picked up
his own gun and pressed it to Yan Tsui's head, who lay cowering on the floor. His
body just acted without him thinking about it.
"Fei... you're pointing your gun at me again?!"
With pale, blazing eyes, Feilong looked down at Yan Tsui disdainfully and flexed
his index finger. "I should have done this seven years ago - without hesitating
It seemed as though Yan Tsui saw his brother like this for the first time -
detached from any kind of reason. The sight brought sweat to his forehead, and
dread made his limbs go slack. Feilong observed the situation. The spring cocked
creakily. Cold crawled through his brain.
It was Yoh's voice that cut through the tension-soaked air. Feilong ceased any
motion and looked around.
What he saw were Yoh's clear eyes in front of him, and he heard him speak,
"This is not your task!"
Yoh was giving Tao cover behind his back, and even though he was injured, he
was looking up at Feilong, who sluggishly avoided his eyes and let his gaze pause
at the boy, who had sunken to the ground. His face was wet due to his tears and
full of fear, and the salty drops once again rolled down his cheeks. No sooner had
Feilong laid eyes on that than he felt the blood returning to his brain and himself
calming down again.
What was I about to... ?! he thought.
Fie almost would have killed Yan Tsui before Tao's eyes.
Feilong swallowed. Slowly he lowered his weapon and exhaled deeply. His
finger on the trigger was cold as ice.
Yan Tsui jumped at the chance and got up, tottering.
"I'll get you someday! Next time, I'm gonna crush your insides! And this brat
right along with it!"
With this threat on parting, he fled from the room, his steps faltering. Feilong
frowned but did not take up pursuit. It was not as if he had no energy left for it;
maybe he was just shocked at himself so that it was beyond his power to even
lift his weapon. Fie had said he wanted to endeavor not to commit the same
mistake, and yet he had been on the verge of inflicting the same pain on Tao he
had suffered seven years ago. His finger at the trigger was numb, as if it had
gone to sleep there. He released it and put his gun away. Even though the
brothers were not connected by blood, they were still alike - these bestial
character traits seemed to be anchored inside him too. He felt revulsion over his
loss of control. Suddenly, he heard a dull sound behind him.
"Yoh! Yoh, come on!"
Tao's cries brought Feilong back to himself. Looking around, he saw Tao trying
with all his might to stop Yoh's bleeding. His hands, which were resting on the
wound, were red. Apparently Yoh was already suffering from anemia.
"Tao, let me, please!"
When Feilong addressed the boy, he flinched and looked at him. He was
petrified. Never before had he looked at Feilong with such an expression. It was
obvious that all the events were still exerting their impact, and it was written in
Tao's terrified gaze just how deeply his tender heart had to have been wounded.
Feilong knew that he should actually comfort him now, but there was no time for
that. He took over from Tao and inspected Yoh's injuries. He had been lucky
under the circumstances - the bullet had gone straight through him.
"Don't worry. This is nothing."
But Feilong did not pay any attention to Yoh's words and knelt down on the
floor beside him. He tore the sleeve of his shirt apart and wrapped the fabric
tightly around Yoh's injury; the enormous amount of blood instantly colored the
white cloth red. A bullet that was shot at a body paved its way by ripping
muscles to shreds. Of course he was in pain.
"I'm so sorry... It's my fault! Yoh is gonna die because of me!" Tao sobbed in
panic, full of despair, and looked up at Feilong.
"Stop crying! This wound isn't going to kill me."
Yoh gave Tao a bold glance, but it could not go without notice that the color of
his face did not look good. He was not fatally wounded; however, if the bleeding
did not stop, it would become life-threatening. Feilong sighed and rose.
"First of all, we need a place where we can have our peace."
The odds were small, but it could not be ruled out that Yan Tsui's supporters
would come to retaliate. They decided to temporarily retreat into Yoh's
apartment and left the docks unnoticed.
^ previous chapter
~ next chapter
Stigma in the Finder III (Finder no Rakuin)
Yoh's flat was in the fifth story of an old apartment block in a dark back alley.
The old couple who were also his employers were running a boarding house in
addition to the stall, and he had rented a room on the upper floor. It was
midnight when they arrived at his home. The other residents of the boarding
house were sleeping soundly.
'Til look after Tao. You can have the bathroom first."
Yoh invited Feilong to do so while placing Tao's by now heavy body on the bed.
Right after they had reached the room, the strain had been lifted from him, and
he had fallen asleep as though he had passed out. Feilong accepted the offer and
washed off the feeling of Yan Tsui's touch in the narrow bath. Afterwards, he felt
relieved. Fie borrowed one of Yoh's shirts and briefly peeked into Tao's room
before returning to the living area. Tao's calm breathing was audible. Fie was fast
asleep. Especially in his sleep, the childlike innocence showed on his face. The
blow had left behind a bruise on his cheek; Feilong gently brushed across it and
then went back to the room Yoh was in with soft steps.
In dim light and with naked torso, he was trying to treat his wound. Since he
was only able to use one hand, it seemed he was having a hard time.
"Let me do that!"
Feilong ignored Yoh's reluctance; he took the dressing material out of his hand
and sat down on the hard sofa, the synthetic cover crunching at the friction. For
Taiwan, the apartment was standardly equipped with a bathroom and a
separate bath. Only the kitchen appeared to be used together with the landlord.
In the corners were pots and a small refrigerator, which the former inhabitants
had left behind. Somehow they did not quite fit into the image. In the fact that
he used the furniture of the landlord that did not seem to match his taste at all,
Yoh's character of not caring much about lifestyle was reflected.
"I can handle it."
"Does it displease you to be treated by me?"
Feilong looked at Yoh gracefully in the faint light. Yoh sighed, seeming to have
resigned himself to it, and showed him his wound. Compared to before, he was
slowly regaining color. Feilong softly touched his muscular chest. It may not have
been a life-threatening injury, but the bullet had pierced the upper left part of
the arm, and the makeshift bandage to stop the bleeding had been stained dark
red. Feilong soaked the absorbent cotton in sanitizer and pressed it on the
wound. Fie could feel Yoh's muscles convulsing in the process.
So it's the bullet of o Tokarev... he thought. Since it did not deform in the body,
it left little damage, although it was very painful. That Yan Tsui was in possession
of high-speed ammunition meant that the Russian mafia was already active. The
plan was probably to deal a blow to the Baishe with the supplied weapons and
munition they had received from the military as contraband. It was very much
like Mikhail to use Yan Tsui as a means to try to throw Feilong out of balance. Fie
sighed and carefully disinfected the wound. The countless scars marking Yoh's
skin told of a past and a present which were unknown to Feilong. Maybe it was
because he had undergone an entirely different training, but he felt Yoh was
wilder, even though he was just as much a man as him. Unlike Feilong, who was
versed in martial arts, which harnessed the body's agility, Yoh's body was as hard
as steel, and his torso was toned to the maximum to be able to withstand the
recoil of a large caliber weapon.
The silence was uncomfortable, which was why Feilong raised his voice. "I told
you not to get involved. Why did you still come, Yoh?"
"You are presently my principal."
This direct answer caused Feilong to look up. Through Yoh's long hair he could
not discern his expression. Fie pondered, If he had gone on Asami's ship back
then , he could have escaped...
Flowever, after Yoh had fulfilled his vow to Asami, he had offered Feilong his
remaining life, which was possibly his way of showing his loyalty. A sincere but by
no means artful man. Feilong could not really explain it, but when he saw Yoh's
dejected eyes, he became uneasy. As if he wanted to hide his tempestuous
heart, he directed his attention to the deep wound.
"I suppose you're... the curious type..."
Feilong placed a medicine-soaked compress on the injury and began wrapping
the bandage over it with care. The corners of Yoh's mouth did not move. He did
not show he was feeling pain. Painkillers one got from the open market only
acted as sedation. However, Yoh was apparently already used to such injuries; he
had stayed calm ever since he had been shot. He had been like that when Feilong
had first met him as well. He had never seen Yoh lose control over his feelings, let
alone become nervous. But otherwise it probably would not have been possible
to work for Asami.
"What are you planning to do with Tao now?"
Yoh's quiet words made Feilong pause bandaging briefly.
"Tao has to decide that himself."
He was faced with the decision of his life. For a thirteen-year-old boy it may
have been a hard truth, but now that he had come to know he was Liu Yan Tsui's
son, he had to determine how he wanted to live. At this point, it would not be
too late yet to cut all ties with the organization and choose the other side.
"Tao certainly won't become like you want him to."
Feilong cropped the end of the bandage when he was done and closed the
first-aid kit. Listening to the drizzling rain, he thought that maybe Yoh was right.
Even though Tao had learned the truth about his birth - or rather, precisely
because he had learned the truth - Feilong could not picture Tao choosing to
distance himself from the underworld on his own accord. A weary sigh left his
"It looks like my secret request to prevent Tao from following in my footsteps
When Feilong had once decided to once more take up a path he had lost sight
of, he had paid a high price for it, his greatest loss being his stepfather, Liu Talen.
His heart was still marked by the tragic past of having been used as political tool
by his biological father and then, when he had defied him, having had a weapon
pointed at him. And now Tao was about to suffer the same agony as him. Even if
his intent was to protect Tao, maybe keeping him by his side was a mistake;
possibly, everything Feilong had done up until now was even cruel for Tao.
Dismay and emptiness were taking turns inside him.
"To achieve my goal, I would even take someone's life. I don't want to know
how Tao looked at me when I pointed that gun at Yan Tsui... Maybe my brother
is right and there really is something bestial inside me."
When the shot had been fired, Feilong's blood had started to boil. Had Yoh
jumped even one second later, the bullet would have hit Tao.
"I wonder what my deceased father would say if he saw me like this now..."
Or was still wanting to be accepted by his stepfather childish? Now, no one
could tell anymore what had driven him to take him in. The feelings for his
departed stepfather, the guilt towards Tao, and the feud with his brother...
Maybe he was so relieved about Tao's rescue that he could now reveal his true,
"You're very warmhearted," whispered Yoh, who had listened silently.
"Warmhearted?! Me?! Nonsense!" Feilong dismissed the statement scoffingly.
In his eyes, Yoh was completely off the mark. Not only had Feilong trampled on
his stepfather's feelings, but now he was also trying to kill his brother to preserve
the peace and quiet in the clan - it would have been more natural if Yoh had
taken him for someone who did not have any feelings for his family.
"No, I mean...!" When Yoh tried to shuffle his shirt over his left arm, he
grimaced. Fie did not succeed, and the shirt slipped down.
"Don't overdo it. You must be in pain."
Feilong put out his hand, and his eyes met Yoh's. Save Asami, Yoh was the only
one he had ever spoken about his true feelings to without reservation. Fie did
not know himself why he had talked about them. Yoh did not belong to the
organization anymore, and Feilong regretted that.
Yoh's thin lips warped into a faint smile. "I never thought the day would come
when you'd worry about me."
"Don't change the subject!"
He held Feilong's challenging gaze without evading it. An indefinable urge,
similar to nervousness, arose inside Feilong, but he concealed those emotions
and looked at his former subordinate with a blank mien while trying to calmly
find out what was going on in this stiff man. Their eyes still locked, Yoh
eventually opened his lips. "It doesn't hurt anymore. You treated the wound well
Feilong remembered Tao's words, "If someone you like treats your injuries, it
makes the pain go away."
Strange, that he had to recall that now of all times. He sighed and said, slight
self-contempt in his voice, "You took those wounds to save Tao. I bear the
responsibility for that."
Actually, Feilong was not someone who felt responsible for a replaceable
underling. Yoh had to be aware of that as well. Only after he had uttered it
Feilong became conscious of the meaning of the statement that was not like him
at all, and it annoyed him.
"That's why I said you're warmhearted."
Feilong could not stand it any longer and averted his eyes. "Stop that!"
He frowned when he noticed the corners of Yoh's mouth were slightly raised,
because he thought he was making fun of him at first, but apparently he was
"You have never committed a mistake. Surely your father would have said the
Yoh's face suddenly took on a serious expression, which surprised Feilong. His
gaze and words were as though he saw through everything. Feilong stared at
How con he soy something like that? he thought.
It was an entirely different point of view than Asami's, who had once retorted
provokingly that he was denying his own past. Feilong wanted to respond that
Yoh had no idea and should not say such nonsense, but he could not put it into
words well. He did not understand why it made him so insecure that Yoh had
encouraged him in his way of living. Or was he already so desperate that those
words were a relief to him?
"You're quite forward."
Feilong got up as if he wanted to tear himself away. He positioned himself
before Yoh, who made a puzzled face, and put a hand on the backrest of the
sofa. His long hair fell onto Yoh's shoulder and chest.
"I'm not like I used to be anymore..."
Feilong could not tell whether it was loathing for Asami which marked his
heart, or the persistence that had allowed him to strive from the very bottom to
the top, but he did not believe the seven years had been in vain. He neither
wanted to be acknowledged by anyone, nor did he want sympathy. And yet he
badly wanted to feel the warmth of another person now.
"Master Feilong?" Yoh spoke in a rough voice, sounding confused.
Feilong's dark eyes fixated on Yoh, and the distance between them decreased.
A force that threatened to engulf Yoh drove him into a corner, but he could not
evade Feilong's gaze. A blink broke the connection, and Feilong pounced on
Yoh's lips; following his inner urge, he kissed him passionately.
For just one moment, Yoh's body tensed, but to Feilong's surprise it did not
look like he was going to put up resistance. Feilong closed his eyes and pushed
past the unresisting lips. Their tongues touched, and as he bit down teasingly,
Yoh sucked on his tongue in retaliation. Now it was him who took the lead, and
Feilong shuddered when he proceeded to this counterattack.
"Ph...!" Out of breath, he placed a knee between Yoh's legs and shifted his
weight onto it. He had actually thought Yoh was a thoroughly uptight man, but
he did seem to have gathered his experience. Although he looked like he knew
little about lust, his tongue did not give Feilong time to take another breath.
"Nh...! Ph..." Their tongues wrestled with each other audibly. Every time they
changed the angle to each other, Yoh's lids opened slightly, and his narrow eyes
absorbed Feilong. Inside Yoh, a fire awoke, and he could feel it getting hotter by
degrees and gradually threatening to burn him. When their lips parted again,
they were at a point where they could not hold back anymore. Feilong
breathlessly licked over his own wet lips and rubbed his knee against the bulge in
Yoh's groin area.
"Well... what do we have here?"
The deformation was also visible from above through his clothes. Yoh did not
even try to hide it and directed a slightly agonized smile at Feilong. "I'm also just
It was the first time he saw Yoh being this unyielding. Feilong grinned. "Are you
perhaps aroused because of me?"
With this remark, he was making fun of Yoh's reaction. Yoh, however, seemed
to be displeased that he was playing with his desire and his feelings. His right
hand encircled Feilong's hip, and he pulled him close daringly. Feilong dodged
Yoh's injury and knelt down over his thighs in front of him. They were so close to
each other that their breath almost touched. Yoh's even and beautiful face came
nearer. The sudden acceleration of his heartbeat was an unprecedented delight.
His body heat, which reached Feilong through the fabric, was higher than his
own. The scent of a mixture of cigarettes and gunsmoke wafted to his nose. All
that aroused Feilong, and all inhibitions were dropped.
"You want me to answer that? Even though you stole my heart..."
"This mouth should be sealed."
Following the surging emotions, he quickly seized Yoh's cheeks and covered his
lips as though he meant to devour him.
Feilong only wanted some comfort. Fie felt like the man before him, who gave
him just the words he wanted to hear, would satisfy his momentary passion. Fie
wanted to let those feelings be unleashed and evaporated. Tonight was a night
in which Feilong craved warmth, and Yoh was by his side. Without wanting to, he
drowned in Yoh's provoking gaze.
"Hah...!" Their tongues entwined together, and Feilong ran his fingers across
Yoh's body. Yoh also stretched out his uninjured arm and deftly unbuttoned
Feilong's shirt. With every movement, the cheap spring of the sofa creaked. They
could feel through their skin how their hearts were beating faster and faster.
So as to take the pressure off Yoh's injury, Feilong tensed his right hand, which
he had laid on Yoh's shoulder. His wounded body easily slid from the rest to the
seating surface so that he was now lying on his back, and Feilong, who had taken
off his underwear, sat down on his thighs. Yoh wordlessly studied the sight, like a
wild animal about to attack the prey in front of it. Feilong brushed his palm over
Yoh's heated crotch and licked his lips.
"You're so hard... that's quite indecent of you."
He loosened the front part of Yoh's pants and grabbed his emerging rigid cock.
Yoh held his breath; the tremble of his abdominal wall was tangible. He was so
excited that his penis continued to swell, and fluid was seeping like nectar from
the tip. The way the transparent beads trickled down the peak stirred their
"You are going on the offensive quite a bit after all..." Slightly short of breath,
he looked up at Feilong, who had opened his shirt. He perceived it as insolence
that Yoh was talking so big despite the fact that he had gotten an erection just
by thinking about what would come next.
"If you can satisfy me for this night, I shall forgive you for everything."
Yoh responded to this provocation and lifted his head. He caught a strand of
hair that had fallen onto his chest, guided it to his mouth, and softly pressed his
lips on it. It was as though he were kissing Feilong's skin directly, and the illusion
caused Feilong to swallow.
"I don't think you will forgive me, but I won't stop, even if you can't take it
He looked at Feilong, his gaze directed upward. That day on the ship deck
when Yoh had said he would not ask for forgiveness, his dark eyes had been
clear. Heat arose inside Feilong, who was almost beside himself. He straightened
his torso, and the strand slid from Yoh's hand. Feilong did not care if he thought
this was just an eccentric whim; he only wanted to see Yoh, whose features
never slipped him, lie underneath his body and lose his composure with lust. He
reached out his hand, took an ointment from the medical kit to use in place of
lubricant, and smeared the content onto his fingers. "Hmh...!"
With one hand he propped himself up on Yoh's chest, and with the other he
began widening his anus with his fingers. As he opened his eyelids slightly, a
moan escaped him. Yoh was watching him without even blinking.
"Hah...!" Feilong wondered how he saw him right now, when he was mounting
a man so indecently. Panting, his brow covered in sweat, he withdrew his fingers
again. He spread his anus and slowly lowered his hips, then he brought Yoh's hot
cock into position and tried to swallow him up.
"It's too tight, isn't it?"
Yoh put out an arm to keep him from further engaging in this ill-advised
activity, but Feilong was no weakling one had to be worried about. He sharply
looked at Yoh with narrow eyes and said, "Don't move!"
Feilong carefully moved his hip in circles and let Yoh's cock sink into him inch
by inch. Yoh complied and abided. Sometimes, a sigh was heard from him. Did it
arouse him? As if out of his senses, Feilong endured the wild manhood pushing
its way inside him and taking his body. He had thought he would never again
experience the pain and pressure of being penetrated by the same sex. While
trying to control his feeling of lust and thus maintain his pride, he had managed
to take in Yoh's manhood halfway.
"Hah! Uh..." He put a hand on Yoh's chest and moaned once more.
In the room next to them, Tao was sleeping. They were separated by only a
wall. Feilong could not allow it that the boy learned what was happening in this
room. Yoh seemed to be worrying about that as well and contracted his brows
with effort. Only a little bit more. The instant that Feilong lowered his hip, a slick
A quiver climbed up his back, and the pain of the thrust made him close his
eyes. At the moment when he leaned back, he became even tighter, and Yoh
groaned. The flat, rapid breathing of the two men filled the room. It was not just
down to temperature that their bodies were bathed in sweat; they also were
stoking each other up. For a moment, Feilong tried to calm his breath again, and
then he slowly opened his eyes.
"And... how do you like it? Now there's no turning back."
Yoh let out a suggestive sigh and raised his eyes. He laughed, "Then let me try
"You're honest." The corners of Feilong's mouth raised. He wedged Yoh's hip,
which was trying to undulate upward, between his knees, and as if he wanted to
tease him, he slid his pelvis back and forth. Meanwhile Yoh looked at him with a
frown, like he had a sly woman in front of him.
"A wounded person should behave as such and lie there obediently."
Feilong controlled Yoh, who made attempts to move, and pressed his body
harder against him. Yoh's tormented sigh briefly made him forget the pain. This
sex had no meaning at all. They were merely following their urges. And when the
climax was reached, the deed would wash away the accumulated dirt at its own
ground. But even though Feilong thought about it like this, the body he was
connected with was very warm, and he had difficulty letting it go. Complying
with his desire, he started moving his pelvis. Apart from the faint panting, one
could hear the bodies rubbing up against each other. Every time Feilong rolled
his hips, the tip of his own cock leaked. The motions gradually became more
"Ah... Aah...!" He gave a moan and tried to abandon himself to the pleasure.
The opening Yan Tsui had not been able to invade was now soft and wholly
Eventually, Yoh could not stand it any longer and adapted to the rhythm; he
looked for the sensitive spot and thrust upward. Feilong touched Yoh's sweaty
chest. It was not too bad a sight, seeing a stoic man with eyes moist from
sensual pleasure. He looked Yoh in the face, which was contorting with desire,
and laughed ruthlessly, "A nice face you're making there. Does it feel that good...
"I could ask you the same!"
At some point, the rain outside had ceased. The moon was shining through the
Yoh's well-toned body was marked with several fresh scars and yet was still
aesthetically pleasing. They were frantically panting out the sweet agony, their
overlapping shadows wavering. Suddenly, Yoh raised his right hand and touched
Feilong's neck. On the throat, the bruises from Yan Tsui's fingers were still
visible, and the scar on his chest was exposed as well, just like his slightly flushed
white skin. He offered all this to Yoh's eyes and drowned in his appreciation.
Yoh's words were not ornate, which made Feilong a little flustered. He bit his
lips and closed his eyes as though he wanted to escape Yoh's gaze with it.
When he surrendered his consciousness to the abyss of lust in this manner, he
was just a normal man. He was neither the boss of the Baishe, nor Yan Tsui's
stepbrother, nor the illegitimate son shunned by his natural father. He was only
the man Liu Feilong.
"You are very beautiful... and you have a warm heart."
"I told you not to... Ah...! Ah...!"
Yoh ran his hands across Feilong's neck to the collarbone and over the old
gunshot wound beneath it. All the spots he touched felt like they were catching
fire, and the place where he entered him twitched. Yoh's wandering fingers were
trailing a flaming trace behind them, and when they brushed across the nipples,
Feilong's heart skipped a beat. "Ah...!"
He bent his head back. His hole was soft and clutching Yoh tightly; his muscles
contracted and squeezed around him, which disrupted the rhythm, and Yoh's
cock reached the spots which excited Feilong. Lightning shot through his head.
"Do you like it here?"
Yoh was looking at him like he wanted to devour him with his glances. His eyes
were moist. This was no longer the man Feilong knew as subordinate - before
him, he saw the face of a man who did not hide his carnal desire. He could not
answer, but Yoh did not let up.
"And how about here?"
"Well... it's not... so bad..."
Feilong reacted stubbornly, because he did not want Yoh to know how much
he aroused him. Thereupon Yoh's brow furrowed, and he thrust inside. Harder
His skin rosy-tinted, engulfed by the sensual pleasure, Feilong contemplated.
He wondered how those seven years in which he had worked for him day after
day had been for this man. When everything had been over and Yoh had handed
Feilong the weapon on board of the ship, he had been prepared for being
punished with death. Maybe Yoh had wanted to be killed by him, just like Feilong
had wanted to be killed by Asami, back then.
He let himself be rocked back and forth and muttered quietly to himself while
drifting on the heat, "Hah...! Why... didn't I... kill you back then?"
Had he drawn the consequences from Yoh's actions at that time, this moment
would not exist. Why had he been unable to pull the trigger, like he had done
with Asami? Normally, Feilong would not have forgiven anyone who had
betrayed the organization, yet back then he had just not been able to bring
himself to pull the trigger, and not only because Yoh's dauntlessness had cast a
chill over his intent to kill him, but maybe also because Feilong had seen the
bond between Asami and Akihito, which was so strong that no one could sever
it. However, what had swayed Feilong's heart the most was Asami's true
intention when he had made him lower his weapon - not the intention to kill
him, but to leave him alive. It was not scornful pity that had prompted Asami to
do it. No matter how much Feilong had thought about it, he had not been able
to get behind the reason why, and when Asami himself had told him, it was as if
the evil spirit which had possessed Feilong had suddenly disappeared. For the
first time it had dawned on him then that it had been nothing but his delusions
which had driven him to chase Asami.
Yoh's raw voice caused a shiver to trail down his spine. By dropping the
courteous form of address he signified their equality, and although Feilong did
find it a little presumptuous of him, it did not bother him. Was that part of his
change of heart too? The feelings of other people did not let themselves be
controlled - no matter how much someone was oppressed, the heart could not
be commanded. Nevertheless, Yoh had not returned to Asami after leaving the
Baishe. It seemed Feilong had finally been able to accept this fact.
The past months and years had not been for nothing after all. A smile
resonated in Feilong's sigh. He had thought that sex with the same gender
meant nothing more than settling the ranks among one another, but now he
knew that it was not just that. He had learned that it was not necessarily solely
repression through power, but could also be a connection based on trust.
Then Yoh's husky voice sounded. "But my feelings haven't changed - and they
won't change either."
At that moment, it was Feilong who was being reflected in Yoh's misty eyes,
and his fervent gaze disclosed his profound emotions much more directly than
some worn out declaration of love. Just one small mistake and Feilong would
have made him pay for his treason with his life. Did Yoh want to give his heart to
such a man?
Still connected with him, he reached out and brushed across Feilong's hair. His
gentle touch now no longer reminded him of someone else.
When Yoh was about to withdraw his fingers, Feilong caught hold of them
Yoh's heat awakened a sweet, pulsing ache inside him. This man's body was so
warm that it was difficult for him to get away from it. For the first time, Feilong
realized that all of this had affected him more than he was aware of. He lifted his
chin and looked down at Yoh with glistening eyes.
"Your hip isn't moving anymore."
Yoh's initially somewhat worried eyes widened slightly, and the next moment
he was grinning. Feilong's tense hips were seized by his hands, and he thrust into
Yoh's cock left Feilong and rammed back deep into him again, coupled with the
sound of skin on skin. Feilong flexed his white neck and pressed a hand to his
mouth, and with each thrust, his pale back arched. The pleasure was too intense;
it was robbing him of his senses. The border between fantasy and reality blurred.
To smother his voice, Feilong bit his thumb and twisted his lithe body. "Ah...
Like a dragon devouring a human, he insatiably swallowed up the man. His hair
was dancing with the vigorous rhythmical movements, and the sofa creaked. The
inner muscles did not let go and tried savoring the man to the fullest, and
Feilong could feel how greedily he was twitching inside him. He ground his nails
into Yoh's arms, which were holding his hips firmly, and left behind red
crescents. With each quiver, the peak drew nearer.
Yoh groaned quietly. His arms clutching Feilong's hip tensed up, and the short
nails pressed themselves into the skin. Just then he wanted to pull out, but
Feilong did not let him and instead made him sink even deeper into his body. He
could feel Yoh's manhood spasming inside him convulsively.
"Ah...!" Raw, heated moans poured from Feilong's lips. He could not hold back
anymore. A warm substance was released inside of him; he took what belonged
to Yoh, and it caused his entire body to tremble. His cock convulsed
spasmodically and scattered a white trail on Yoh's skin, and when his whole body
shuddered in ecstasy, Feilong sighed contentedly.
The cloudy liquid trickled along the wounds of the past and ran down the skin.
The lewd scenery was burning in Feilong's eyes, and he brushed back his hair,
which was sticking to the sweat. He looked at the exhausted Yoh, who was
completely out of breath, and thought he spotted defeat in his face. Maybe he
was sulking because he had not been able to take on the leading role until the
very end. Feilong looked down at the man who was indulging in the aftermath of
the act and could not suppress a smile.
"Ph.J" A laugh left his mouth like a sigh.
He had managed to win over the man who had once belonged to Asami. When
he thought about it like that, a sense of conquest overcame him. Even among
Feilong's men there were not exactly few who tried to ingratiate themselves with
him, and he was permanently subjected to sleazy looks; however, Yoh had
always stood a step away from it and observed everything with a distant mien.
Feilong knew it was conceited, yet he could not hold back a chuckle.
"Why are you laughing?" Yoh asked.
"Well..." was all Feilong replied.
Yoh probably did not like that he evaded his question. He slipped a hand
around Feilong's neck and pulled him close so that his hair fell down. Following
gravity, their lips met, and Yoh's tongue instantly invaded Feilong's mouth; in
contrast to the rough kiss, the touch with which he stroked over his hair was
very soft. The flame inside Feilong was on the verge of flaring up again, and he
lightly pushed Yoh away by the chest. Still panting heavily, their lips parted.
Feilong's shoulders shook, and he gasped for air.
Slowly, he lifted his hip. He could feel Yoh's slick manhood sliding from the
place where he had clenched around him, and when his long cock had come out
of him, the ropey seed dripped behind. A low groan was audible.
"I feel honored if I could please you with my work."
In response to Yoh's words, Feilong merely moved his head and looked upon
him. In the upright kneeling position, he was gazing down at the smug
expression on Yoh's face.
While they were staring at each other like this, Feilong unexpectedly had to
laugh. "Well, let's give it a pass, then."
Yoh's arms wrapped around his hips and gently pulled him close. Feilong told
himself he was only putting up with this because the physical strain was still
affecting his body. Neither the sweaty skin nor the scalding heat bothered him.
It happened the moment their lips were about to touch once more. All of a
sudden, they heard a faint noise. They halted in alarm and, holding their breaths,
squinted through the darkness like wild animals. The room was silent. Nothing
seemed to have changed. Then they noticed that the door, which should have
been shut, stood slightly ajar and was swaying in the wind. It was as if the air was
"Please stay here!" Yoh said and sharpened his focus. As though he wanted to
protect Feilong, he got up and picked up his gun. He positioned himself with his
back sideways at the door, but revoked the warning again right away.
He quietly closed the door. Having taken a water bottle from the fridge, he
returned as if nothing had happened. His expression was back to normal.
"The door doesn't close properly."
A draft through the crack seemed to have opened it. Feilong exhaled quietly
and wet his throat with the water Yoh had given to him. As though they had
never had passionate sex with each other, they now sat with a certain distance
to one another, yet the atmosphere surrounding them was not a listless one,
and time was passing by peacefully.
"Just sleep if you feel up to it. Even if it's just briefly."
The way Yoh found a way through the tears in Feilong's weakened heart was
pleasant. Fie wordlessly closed his eyes, and while feeling the closeness of
someone else beside him, he inhaled and exhaled slowly. Surprisingly, breathing
was easy to him. It was not like he had felt restricted, and yet in Flong Kong, his
escort followed him everywhere; there was no time to relax. But Feilong
suddenly arrived at the conclusion that Yoh in this daily routine was like air to
him, so impalpable and yet indispensable.
That reminds me , I've felt something similar once before - when I left the
house of my clan and defied my brother for the first time, he thought.
Fie had felt guilty towards his men and his father because he had caused them
trouble, but on the other hand, his mood had brightened up as he had eloped
with the fugitive Asami. It had been a liberation of the soul. When he reflected
on it now, they owed the days they had spent together to their imprudence, his
own as well as Asami's. They had been young back then. Fie did not think it had
been naive to trust Asami while standing at the crossroads of his life, but even
now, his existence churned up Feilong's heart.
Yoh was different. Unlike Asami, he always was the epitome of calm - and he
had not only been like that when they had met in jail. Fie had indifferently
obscured his presence and merely accompanied Feilong, Yoh's private life
separated as though by a wall at all times. Fie was arguably the person who knew
Feilong's true face the best. To express it positively, one could say Yoh was
sincere, but otherwise put, it was impossible to tell what he was really feeling
deep inside. Feilong did not want to know either. Fie shifted slightly and carefully
opened his eyes. Leaned against the sofa, Yoh was watching silently over his
resting body. Nothing of the previous passion was visible in the stoic profile of
this man; his face was like it had been before, a flat mask without personal
feelings. Feilong closed his eyes once more and drifted off to a light doze for a
Light fell upon his eyelids, and he awoke. It was quiet in the room.
No reply. He squinted his eyes in the face of the sunlight streaming through
the window and into the room. Then he straightened his upper body, which was
lying on the armrest of the sofa.
Morning in Taiwan began early.
A thin blanket slid to the floor - when he had been covered with it he did not
know. In these unfamiliar surroundings, Feilong once more recalled the events of
yesterday. He was worried something bad might have happened, but then he
saw a note on the table which said that his host was away briefly, and he
breathed a sigh of relief. Nevertheless, he could not imagine that Yoh was able to
walk around without impairment after yesterday's injury. It had been a
penetrating gunshot wound; however, if he were to overstrain himself, the
damage possibly would not be able to be fixed anymore.
Is Too still sleeping? In that cose, I'd rather let him sleep, Feilong thought.
After having provisionally combed out his disheveled hair, he slowly stretched
his sleepy body, lit by the morning sun. He put up his hair with his hands, and
just then, the door opened. Yoh entered, loaded with a big bag he was carrying
in his right hand. The white bandage looking out from next to his shirt collar
filled Feilong with regret.
It smelled like warm food - apparently he had gone out to get breakfast.
"How is your injury?"
"That's no big deal... What about you?"
This casual courtesy made Feilong think back to the fervent night. It pervaded
his body like damp sultriness, but surprisingly enough, it was not an unpleasant
exhaustion. Instead, his spirit and body felt light. Maybe it was because he had
finally released everything that had accumulated. Even when he thought about
Yan Tsui now, his heart no longer stirred tumultuous waves anymore.
'Tm fine," Feilong replied. "But that's not important. With that shoulder you
"I took a day off from work, so don't worry about that."
Yoh beat him to the punch with his answer. And yet, from his easygoing
conduct, one could also get the idea that he wanted to preferably avoid a
conversation regarding last night.
Maybe Yoh regretted it. That could only work in Feilong's favor. Then it could
be dismissed as a one-time matter.
During a long silence, he observed Yoh skillfully preparing the food on the
"Good morning... Master Fei, Yoh!"
When Tao saw the two of them, he made a shy face. The cheek Yan Tsui's
underling had hit was a tad reddened, but other than that, he seemed to be all
"Thank you so much for saving me yesterday. I'm sorry... that I caused you
worries and you got hurt because of me."
Fie involuntarily looked over to Yoh. Compared to the previous day, when he
had not been able to speak anymore due to the shock, he seemed to have
calmed down today. It was written all over his face that he very much repented
his actions of simply having followed Feilong.
"I'm glad nothing happened to you, Tao! But now you can promise me not to
act this carelessly anymore in the future, right?"
"You aren't angry with me?"
"No, I'm not. But I was very worried!"
When Feilong looked at him with his usual smile, Tao raised his face
determinedly. Relief in his voice, he apologized once more, "I'm sorry!"
In passing, Yoh petted Tao's head in a casual gesture. "Go wash your face!
Let's have breakfast before it gets cold."
As soon as Tao caught sight of the table, his eyes started to shine, and he
dashed out of the room. Although he was not as depressed as feared, he hardly
could have calmed his heart overnight - Feilong could only guess what was going
on inside Tao, but he could see he was making an effort to act lively.
"Here, take this before the meal."
Yoh placed a tea bowl on the table in front of Feilong. Inside, a beverage was
sloshing which came very close to the brown color of coffee; however, the aroma
did not remind him of it at all.
"What is that?" asked Feilong.
"Just try it," replied Yoh.
The color was passable, and this special scent, resembling the one of old
Chinese medicine, seemed familiar to Feilong. His interest was piqued, so he took
a sip. He furled his eyebrows. The strong odor climbed up his nose, and he felt
nauseous. He suppressed the urge of spitting the tea back out and swallowed
"That's traditional Taiwanese medicine."
Upon this remark, Feilong stared at him sharply while holding his mouth shut
with his hand. The corners of Yoh's mouth twitched, and he handed Feilong a
glass of water, all the while looking like a child whose prank had been successful.
This beverage lived up to the name bitter tea - its taste was so harsh that one's
mouth tightened. In one fell swoop, it freed all senses and helped to think
clearly. There may have been people who were completely obsessed with that
taste, but for someone who was used to drinking the Chinese tea Tao always
made, it was a sensory overload. Feilong snatched the glass from Yoh's hand.
Having drunk up, he exhaled in relief.
"It seems to me your character has changed since you've come to Taiwan."
"I've always been like this."
If this was supposed to be Yoh's true face, then he must have held back a lot
during his time in the Baishe. What else should be expected? But for some
reason, Feilong's soul ached.
Shortly after, Tao came back and took a seat at the table. Like this, the three of
them were sitting around the breakfast. Tao was in extraordinarily good spirits,
which possibly was because all of them were eating together - to him, it was
perhaps something like a family breakfast. But if it cheered him up, it was not a
bad thing, Feilong thought. Fie did not really know how to deal with it himself
since this odd situation would have been inconceivable at their residence in
Flong Kong. Yet somehow, he was also having fun with it.
"Master Fei, what's that? That's a terrible smell!"
Tao was curious about the bitter tea and looked up at Feilong, who hastily
tried to stop him by reasoning he was too young for it, but it was too late.
"I wanna try it!"
And before Tao had finished his sentence, he was already holding the tea in his
hand. Fie took a gulp like he were dying of thirst and let the liquid run down his
throat. As expected, his eyes grew huge. "Bitter!"
Fie willed himself to swallow, but at the same time, the tea went into his
trachea, and tears welled up in his eyes. For a child it was probably too intense a
taste after all.
"It promotes your health."
But without paying attention to Yoh, Tao darted out of the room, with a
grimacing face and wet eyes. Fie had most likely run outside to rinse his mouth.
Feilong listened to his scuffling steps and sighed, "You bought quite a lot."
On the table were things like radish mochi, soy milk soup, fried bread, stuffed
rice balls, and steaming manju. Even considering the fact that there were three
of them, it was almost enough to open a shop with. Yoh immediately saw
through Feilong's train of thought and said teasingly, "I thought that with this
much to choose from, there ought to be something there the two of you like.
The taste of the people, as they say. If you haven't gotten around to enjoying the
food stands in Taiwan yet, I want to warmly invite you to try these things here -
provided that there is something that's to the liking of the boss of the Baishe."
The implication that he was treating him like a princess annoyed Feilong. With
childish stubbornness, he took up the chopsticks and said, "Enjoy your meal,
He tried the danbing without delay. For the Taiwanese, the steaming danbing
belonged to a typical breakfast. A flatbread was formed from dough which
looked like the dough of wonton, and fried together with beaten egg and
vegetables. Danbing did not necessarily look pretty, but the simple taste was by
no means bad. There was something unique about the consistency in the mouth
- crispy on the outside, soft on the inside. Together with the sweet Chinese chili
sauce or the spicy bean paste, a particular, intense taste stimulating the appetite
spread in Feilong's mouth. If he were asked whether it was to his liking or not,
his answer would be...
"It's good! I like it!"
With this turbulent morning, he had completely forgotten that he had not
eaten anything since last night. He saw how the manju was steaming before him,
stuffed with sweet-and-spicy boiled down meat and vegetables; his empty
stomach had awakened a great appetite in him for the unusual dishes. Yoh
contentedly looked upon the food.
"You seem to like it better than I thought. The guabao here is tasty, isn't it?"
"Yeah, totally!" replied Tao, who had sat back at the table, and instantly
stuffed something into his mouth. This image made one want to laugh. The
appetite of boys during puberty was astounding, and Tao, having gained a lot of
body height lately, was currently in that phase. It was nice to watch how he
forgot talking, all immersed in the meal.
In the end, Tao had simply gobbled up the enormous amount of food. Now
that his belly was full and his mind assuaged, he looked a little happier than
"Yoh, I'll help you!"
After they had ended the strange breakfast, Tao rose from his chair. He cleared
the table; assisted Yoh, who could not move his left hand as normal; and
prepared the tea.
"Yoh, what's that tea called?"
"I don't know. I didn't pay attention to that when I bought it..."
Apparently, Yoh made it easy for himself and did not first fill the teapot to then
pour the content back into the bowl. Instead, he simply took the tea leaves and
put them into the gaiwan*. Tao was watching, slightly confused. [*tea bowl with
"I've never seen that..."
Not just the method, but also the shape of the tea leaves was new to him. It
was not by any means exaggerated to say that exclusively the tea Feilong
consumed in his rooms was brewed by Tao, and thus Tao's knowledge about
Chinese tea and the associated etiquette was very slim. Just as he had learned
languages from an early age and dedicated himself to studying, his strong will
seemed more than helpful to Feilong here as well.
"Flere in Taiwan, it's nothing unusual."
K\ ^ ^ ^ ft
Tao took the tea he had taken out with the spoon into his hand and scrutinized
it more closely. Fie sniffed at the thinly crinkled leaves and then smiled
contentedly. "That smells nice and sweet! Where do you get that?"
While pouring hot water into a gaiwan with a blue dragon on it, Yoh retorted,
"Do you plan to make that tea in Flong Kong for your beloved Feilong?"
Normally, Tao would already have nodded joyfully by now, but he paused and
looked away from Yoh and over to Feilong. With his head hanging, he answered
in a mumble that this was not the case.
This never before seen behavior unsettled Yoh, but if he took into account that
Tao was at a difficult age at the moment, he could muster up understanding. On
top of that, he had been swept up in a storm of conflicts in a foreign country-
surely his heart was thrown off balance. Until his emotional condition was stable
again, he would probably need some more time. Without teasing Tao any
further, Yoh wrote down the type of tea and the place where one could buy it on
a slip of paper.
"If you wanna buy tea, there's a good shop two blocks from here. There you
can pick out even better tea leaves than these here. But don't ever go to the
shop near the station!"
"The tea there is expensive and bad."
"Did you already try it, Yoh?"
At Yoh's elusive answer, Tao puffed up his cheeks. This childish demeanor was
Induced by Yoh's smile, Feilong tore his gaze away from the scene. Fate was a
network of gear wheels that were interlocked with each other, but if one of
those cogs was missing, it could strongly influence a person's life. Fie could not
picture how the life in a normal family went. But maybe the daily routine of such
a family was very similar to the scenery they were having here.
"There you go!"
When Yoh served him the gaiwan, Feilong returned to reality. Fie slowly let his
gaze roam: from the rough fingers to the heavily muscled chest that was covered
by the shirt, from the broad shoulders right up to the expressionless face.
Yoh belonged in the other world. Unfeeling, without even hesitating, he could
take the life of another person if the order told him to; with cold rationality he
avoided trusting others. On the other hand, Feilong knew that those fingers that
could accurately eliminate a target were unexpectedly hot and thirsting for
As though he wanted to tear himself away, Feilong stretched out his hand for
the served tea. Fie gingerly lifted the bowl, and a grass-like aroma reached his
nostrils. Flaving shifted the lid, he pressed his lips against the thin earthenware.
Yoh was watching him silently. In his deep black eyes, Feilong could see a flash of
the passion that only he knew. That was the certain proof for him that
yesterday's night with him had neither been a dream nor a fantasy, which made
him feel complacent. They would take the assassination on Yan Tsui and the
secret about Tao's origins to the grave, and the traces of the time spent together
would also remain solely in their memories. Whether they forgot them or not
was left to their own devices. It may have seemed as if the night had not had any
meaning, but that was not all bad either. Feilong slowly sipped the hot beverage.
Unlike the Chinese green tea Biluochun, for which only the soft cores of spring
buds were used, Yoh's green tea was very strong, almost rough, but once it was
on the tongue, a deep, hidden taste unfolded itself.
"You're quite skillful. I didn't expect that."
"Does it taste good?"
It seemed he had not expected that a simple green tea would be
acknowledged by Feilong. Yoh, who was standing there quietly, looked surprised
and shrugged his shoulders. But then Feilong noticed that Tao was making an
unhappy face, and put the gaiwan down. "It's not bad. But Tao's tea still agrees
best with me after all..."
Fie gave Tao a gentle look. Tao's expression changed in next to no time, and his
eyes were sparkling, a shy smile playing around his lips. Maybe he was feeling
insecure. Feilong did not know if he should be happy about the fact that Tao was
starting to develop rivalry towards Yoh. Fie reached out and opened the cover of
the gaiwan; the tea leaves had sunken to the ground and looked like one of those
artificial flowers that opened as soon as they were put in water. When he
brought the bowl close to his mouth, his breath caused slight ripples in the
water. The mild green tea flowed down the throat with a pleasant fragrance.
"Ah..." he sighed softly.
It felt as though the worries pent up in his heart were carried along and slowly
sliding downwards. Fie had already felt this lump in his throat since arriving in
Taiwan - no, even longer. The uneasiness now streamed into his stomach, and
warmth spread. Mind and body cleared up, and the past was replayed before
him like a film in fast motion. At the end of his reverie, he remembered the
events on the casino ship.
"You won't get what you wish for."
After seven years, he now finally knew the meaning behind it.
Whot I wish for... he thought. Maybe he had already been aware of it long ago.
He had wished for someone he could walk through this dark world hand in
hand with. He realized that this was also the reason why he had always longed
for Asami, although he had hated him at the same time, and why he had been
rejected by him.
Asami desired a person who was living far away from the underworld. Takaba
Akihito. What Asami now had been able to win for himself and what Feilong yet
wanted to win for himself were opposites. Through the darkness and the
conflicting feelings Feilong had been carrying inside him, he had involved people
who otherwise did not have anything to do with the criminal world, and blood
had been shed unnecessarily.
When he thought about it now, he realized that the whole affair must have
been a distressful trauma for Akihito, and in spite of that, he had not let that get
him down and had forgiven Feilong for his actions. Eventually, Akihito had even
protected him from Asami and jumped in front of his gun. Feilong had seen how
Asami embraced Akihito, and the sight had elicited a mixed feeling of defeat and
understanding. He had not been able to do anything about it. At that very
moment, his heart had frozen. Asami had directed the gun at him, yet Feilong
had not defended himself but rather just stood there. Maybe it had been an act
of desperation. He had not cared if Asami were to kill him at that point. Had
Akihito not returned the deeds of ownership, he would have lost the reason to
draw a line under the matter. What would have happened with him then?
"Aah..." he sighed to himself.
Fragments of the regret over having been unable to gain something that he
had wanted to possess melted and dissolved. In the future as well, he and Asami
would probably not tread the same path anymore.
As leader of the Baishe, as successor of the Liu family, Feilong would do what
was his duty. The way he had lost out of his sight he now saw clearly in front of
When he returned to his senses, Tao was looking at him from across the table.
The long silence had probably worried him. Deep in his eyes, Feilong could see
how hurt he was, yet he laughed to reassure him.
"What is it, Tao?"
Tao was trying to be the same as always so as not to trigger the concern of the
adults, but now and then they could see how he became pensive. It was
perceptible how tormented his heart was.
"You looked so sad, Master Fei."
With those unexpected words, he stood up from his chair, a very mature
countenance reflecting in his features, and he came to Feilong's side.
Feilong replied, "Why, no..."
Tao's former lively attitude had been nothing more than the demeanor of a
child that grew up among adults. Flowever, since he had now learned the truth
about his birth, he was forced to take the step into the adult world.
"Master Feilong..." Tao knelt down on the floor and took one of Feilong's
hands, who was sitting on the chair. Fie looked up at him as if he wanted to ask
for forgiveness. "May I stay by your side?"
"Yes, but of course!"
"Will you allow me to stay by your side... later on, too... even when I grow up?"
Feilong held his breath and looked down at Tao with a firm gaze. Fie was not
sure what exactly Tao's thoughts were, but should this be the path he had found
for himself, it would mean that he would go the same way Feilong had chosen
seven years ago. It was too early to take the decision of a thirteen-year-old child
who had grown up without the love of his parents as final; however, Feilong
could not discern the naivety of a child in Tao's eyes. The fact that he was Yan
Tsui's biological son could not be changed. Fie would continue to suffer from the
truth that the man who had tortured and attempted to kill his adored Feilong
was his real father. But if Tao wanted to accept his mafia blood nonetheless and
go on living with it, Feilong would welcome the decision.
"If that's what you want to do, then... I would be happy about it."
He took Tao's soft hand and smiled. He isolated all emotions he was carrying
inside him, and as if he wanted to put a lid over them, he gently laid his hands on
Tao now neither was an object he wanted to fill his own loneliness with, nor a
child he had to protect. The reality presenting itself before Feilong's eyes showed
that the time had come to treat him like a man. Tao's face contorted with joy; as
though he were trying to hold back tears, he laughed quietly, "That...That's
Now that Tao knew all about his childhood, Feilong would not object anymore
either, should he at some point decide to join the Baishe. How could he have
countered someone who had decided of his own free will to take the same path
as him? It seemed there was no option left but to walk through the dreary
"I'm going to get stronger for you!" said Tao in a shaky voice. It sounded like a
prayer to himself.
Feilong's heart involuntarily leapt in his chest when he recognized the manly
feature in Tao's face which contained child and man in unbalanced proportions.
He wondered since when Tao was able to make such a face.
Tao took Feilong's hand reverently and deliberately kissed its back. Of course
Tao knew of this ritual gesture which was often exercised in the Baishe. In
contrast to his light kiss, the vow was very grave. Feilong looked at him in silence.
So he wonts to become stronger... for me...
Those words weighed heavily on his heart.
It was Tao who had taken the most damage from this dispute. Yet he did not
show it, but instead tried to cope with it alone, locking the sorrows away in his
little heart. Feilong could not ask of him to forgive him for having issued the
order to kill Yan Tsui on top of that. For his young age, Feilong had already
burdened him with too heavy a destiny, a heavy destiny which Feilong had to
bear as well. Fie would protect Tao's life as penance for killing his father. As Tao's
kinsman, and as someone who had already had to live through the same misery
once before, he imprinted all this on his memory.
"That sounds promising, Tao!"
Feilong directed his gaze to Tao's hand. Eventually, the day would come when
these hands that were learning the art of tea to make Feilong happy would kill
people. Eventually, it would become a matter of course for him to take up a
weapon and spill blood in order to reach his aim. That was Feilong's path, and
someday it would possibly be Tao's path as well.
"Flow about another cup?" Yoh interrupted the two of them. But for whatever
reason, Tao silently averted his face and ignored him, his eyes stubbornly
directed at the floor.
This distinct attitude left behind an awkward feeling. But Yoh, whom the
gesture was meant for, did not seem to be especially bothered by it. Fie asked
Feilong if he wanted another cup, whereupon Feilong nodded, even though
Tao's behavior worried him a little. The lid of the gaiwan was removed. In the
soft sunlight which was shed on the table, the clear water was glowing golden.
The reflected light shone on Yoh's hair and lit up his left eye, which was hidden
behind strands of hair; the dark iris was gleaming in the bright light, tinting it in
the shade of the yellow tea. Feilong regarded this sight as though it were
something wondrous. In the meantime, he noticed how Tao's hand quickly
moved away from his.
^ previous chapter
~ next chapter
Stigma in the Finder IV (Finder no Rakuin)
The day to return to Hong Kong had arrived.
Feilong had informed only a few of his subordinates where he was staying, but
he could hardly leave the headquarters in Hong Kong unsupervised any longer.
Yoh declared himself the escort and came along to the airport to see Feilong and
Tao off, who were setting off for home. Even if Feilong was wearing sunglasses
and nondescript clothes, he could not conceal his long hair and his beauty with
Both of them checked in. While they were waiting for the announcement
proclaiming the start of the boarding, Tao asked with a somewhat confused
expression, "And what about you, Yoh? Aren't you coming back with us?"
It was understandable that he found it puzzling - no one had told him about
Yoh's treacherous deed. Tao did not know that Yoh, who had coaxed the hiding
place of the key out of him with honeyed words when Tao had been in the
hospital - the key for the bank safe in which the deeds to the casino were kept -
had actually used it and passed the content of the safe on to Asami. If he should
ever learn what had happened after that, he would surely feel responsible;
hence, when the documents had been back in Feilong's lawful possession, he
had ordered his underlings not to tell Tao anything about it. But before Feilong
could respond in any way, Yoh beat him to it. "I... still have work to do here."
"Oh! I understand..."
Was Feilong mistaken, or did he see a slight touch of relief in Tao's face besides
a regretful expression? But then, as if Tao had realized what kind of impression
he was making, his shoulders slumped. One of his good traits was that he was
always full of energy; however, since he had arrived in Taiwan, he had grown
very reflective at times. That he was keeping a strange distance to Yoh would not
have been imaginable before either. Although Tao was gradually recovering, he
was far from having processed everything that had happened.
"We still have a little time, Tao! You can go ahead and look around a bit,"
Feilong invited him.
"May I, Master Fei?!" All of a sudden, Tao's face was cheerful again. Certainly
the sight of the airport was something special for him, since he rarely got the
chance to travel abroad otherwise, and on the way here, he had most likely been
so occupied with not losing sight of Feilong that he had not been able to
examine his surroundings at all.
Feilong nodded to him. "But stay close by so I'll find you again!"
Smiling, Feilong looked after him as he went to the kiosk with lively steps.
Although it would have been a lie to say that it did not worry Feilong, in this
crowd of people it definitely was not all that dangerous, and Tao was not a
careless child anymore. There was no one here who could have endangered him,
either. Due to the whole issue, Tao had found out the secret of his roots, thus he
was no longer the poor orphan of whom no one knew where he came from. Fie
clearly had both the right to stand by Feilong's side and to be treated well.
Only when Tao disappeared did Feilong slowly begin to speak. "Yoh..."
Fie did not answer but approached in silence. Feilong stood with his back to
him and spoke in a quiet, low voice. "When you have finished your job... would
you come back to Flong Kong?"
FHis nerves were so taut that he believed he heard his own heartbeat, even with
the high noise level around him. This time, Yoh should not come to Flong Kong as
Asami's spy but as Feilong's loyal subordinate. The silence continued. Many
thoughts swirled through Feilong's head. Then, after some time, Yoh's answer
Thundering waves crashed through Feilong's heart and died away again. Fie
dropped his gaze and smiled. "I see."
Fle was amazed himself that he did not feel regret. On the contrary, he now
looked up at Yoh lightheartedly. Yoh distantly returned his look. A harmonious
tranquility was flowing through the two of them while they were gazing at each
other. If it was Yoh's decision not to be under anyone's command and live alone,
then it had to be respected. Now that he had left the organization, he was free,
and no one would be able to bind his heart in the future. That held true for the
Baishe as well as Asami.
Tao's cheery voice caused them to break eye contact. He came running at a
jaunty pace, but then came to a stop - he had probably sensed the special
atmosphere between them. He said warily, "Is something wrong, Master Fei?"
"Nothing, really! We only talked a little."
Tao retreated. It looked as if he only partly believed Feilong's reply. Feilong let
his eyes wander over his watch; the boarding was imminent. Tao reluctantly
posed a question to Yoh. "Yoh, I'm going to see you again, aren't I?"
"Not right away," he responded.
"For how long? Till your wound is healed?"
"I don't know. But sometime we'll surely see each other."
Tao realized that Yoh's nebulous answers were merely empty phrases. He
made an impenetrable face and fell silent. A moment later, he raised his head
determinedly. "Yoh, give me your hand... Come on!"
The boy put his hand in his pocket and pulled something out of it, then he
placed it on the palm of Yoh's hand. "For you!"
It was a small dark purple purse made of felt.
"Bought it just now!"
Astonished, Yoh opened the pouch, and out of it fell a vivid bright green
sculpture. The lovely looking jade tiger was a charm against misfortune.
"Thank you, Tao!" Yoh was smiling from ear to ear. He carefully put the
talisman, in which Tao's wish that Yoh may not get hurt again was hidden, away
into his pocket.
Tao was watching with mixed feelings. Then he took a deep breath and said,
"While you're gone, I'm going to protect Master Feilong!"
Yoh's eyes widened in surprise, but immediately afterwards a solemn nod
followed. "I'm counting on you!"
"When we see each other next time, I'm gonna be much stronger than now,
and maybe I'll be taller than you, Yoh!"
Tao hurled those fiery words at him passionately, but his eyes seemed to be
moist. Aloof and in silence, Feilong was listening to the verbal exchange between
"I mean it! I'm having a real growth spurt at the moment!"
Without commenting, Yoh looked down at Tao with a quiet smile.
"So... So you better not wait too long till you come back, or soon there won't
be any work left for you!"
Yoh could have answered with a joke, but he remained silent. Feilong could not
help but sigh when he saw his attitude, which showed that he never wanted to
lie to Tao again.
"Tao, it's time we got going."
Feilong beckoned him over for departure and then directed his gaze at Yoh,
who took the eye contact as occasion to say, "Take care. And..."
The following words were drowned out by the airport announcement. Yoh
shrugged at this unfortunate timing. Feilong considered waiting, but it did not
look as though Yoh was going to repeat himself; he only stood there in silence. If
he had decided what he had wanted to say was not important, it probably would
have been tactless of Feilong to press him.
"You take care as well..." With those words, Feilong tried to tear himself away.
They did not have any kind of connection which had to be mourned for after a
farewell. Fie locked the pale memory of last night deep inside his heart and
When he had taken the first step, Tao's lively voice sounded. "See you, Yoh!"
Feilong walked over to the gate with Tao by his side, convinced that it was the
right decision. Even if their ways parted now, there would certainly be a
Then, they would surely be able to walk hand in hand again.
^ previous chapter
~ next chapter
Stigma in the Finder V (Finder no Rakuin)
The room was filled with the smell of blood.
"You damn rat!"
Yan Tsui was kneeling on the floor. He was looking up at Yoh, his face wax pale;
his groin, which he was pressing a hand on, was colored in bright red, and the
blood was dripping onto the uneven ground. Several weeks had passed since the
assault on the storehouse at the docks. Yan Tsui had hidden away in another
quarter in the city of Taipei - as he had lost loyal subordinates during the dispute
at the warehouse, he had probably planned to re-establish his organization in
this quarter. But as it appeared, there were not all that many who wanted to be
at the command of a drug addict, for when Yoh had entered the room, Yan Tsui
had been alone.
"W...Wait! Please wait!"
Yoh wondered whether Yan Tsui was tottering because of his fear or due to the
recently injected heroin. He wordlessly pointed the muzzle of his gun at Yan Tsui,
who was struggling in the sea of blood. He gulped anxiously, and his face went
tense. Yoh had not shot him right away - he did not want to make dying this easy
for him. This tremendously vile man should experience as much anguish as he
had inflicted on Feilong.
"Y...You're not under Fei's orders anymore, right? Wouldn't you like to join
me? The Russian mafia is backing me up! So I can promise you quite a few
benefits out of i..."
It was pathetic to watch how Yan Tsui begged for his life. Without saying
another word, Yoh shot him through the forehead. Together with the muted
bang, blood splattered. In the hand of the dead man, which was lying
outstretched on the floor as though it wanted to plead for help, was an injection
syringe with a broken needle. Yoh coldly looked down at the miserably deceased
body of the man.
"If I can brighten your gloomy mood with this even a little..."
Feilong's order had been to eliminate his brother, Yan Tsui, and Yoh had read
in his face that it had not been easy for him to say those words.
"You made the right decision."
As long as Yan Tsui was alive, he would have continued to stoke up the embers
of the Baishe - as its boss, Feilong had chosen the right way. Even if it made him
a coldhearted man, he had exterminated that which had endangered him
without letting himself be deterred by his feelings. Fie had made the choice that
was necessary to protect those who were important to him. And not only for him
but for Yan Tsui as well, this had certainly been the best solution, as he had
escaped into drug addiction, which had caused his body and soul to fall sick and
decay. A recovery from that would not have been possible anymore, and at some
point, the Russian mafia would have bled him dry anyway. It had been his fate to
fall as far from grace as one could fall and eventually die a wretched death.
Bearing that in mind, it was better for him too to have been murdered as head of
the Taiwanese mafia.
"I have completed the mission."
Fie verified Yan Tsui's passing and went away. There was no reason to stay any
longer, now that he had done his job. Fie covered all tracks and left the place at a
swift pace. It could be assumed that in the underworld, Yan Tsui's death would
be shelved as a not uncommon internal conflict of a mafia organization, without
the affair being mentioned in the news. Soon, Feilong would indubitably be
informed about the circumstances. In China, where the teachings of Confucius
had strong roots, great value was placed on connections with siblings and blood
relationship. Even if Feilong had not done it himself, the guilt of fratricide would
burden his heart. Yet now that he had settled up with his past, he would
continue to stand at the top of the Flong Kong mafia world; it was needless to
always pay attention to the blood flowing at his feet. Fie only had to watch out
that no one pulled the rug from under his feet with the excuse that he tried to
forcibly dispose of everything and everyone obstructing his way. What Yoh had
done for him was nothing more than kick a small stone away from in front of his
feet before Feilong tripped over it.
"Sometime again... was it..."
In Yoh's mind, Tao's determined face appeared. When he stepped outside, he
looked up into the cloudless sky and blinked against the sunbeams coming from
the south. In those endless expanses of the sky, a singular contrail was visible,
heading far into the distance and leading towards Hong Kong.
Even if they should meet again someday, he would not be the one by Feilong's
side. He did not have any foolish expectations. Even if he was not serving at his
side anymore, or precisely because he was an outsider, he had taken up a gain-
and loss-free position in Feilong's heart. It was enough for him to have been a
comfort for Feilong, who was surrounded by cruelty at all times, although it had
only been for a short moment. He sealed away the memory of the seemingly
chiseled smooth skin, and of the soft moans. Even if he were never to see him
again, he did not regret the path he had chosen.
"It seems to me that you live longer when you have something you cherish."
^ previous chapter
~ next chapter
Stigma in the Finder VI (Finder no Rakuin)
A few weeks later.
Feilong had settled back well into his everyday life in Hong Kong when he
received an unexpected phone call from Mikhail.
Because of the property right for the casino in Macau, their relationship was
still strained. Feilong was just taking a bath when the call came in. He answered
the phone, but stayed in the marble bathtub. While enduring the joking
salutatory pleasantries that could be understood as flirtation or as mockery, a
certain premonition caused his heart to tremble.
"That reminds me... I've heard of a most interesting rumor in Taiwan." And as
expected, Mikhail broached this serious subject after his jesting words, making it
sound like it had only just occurred to him. "The aspiring head of a mafia
organization was murdered, which shattered the group."
"Oh, really? That's news to me..." Feilong looked at the ceiling, which was
barely discernible through the white steam, and listened very intently. Yoh had
probably fulfilled his task. Even though Feilong had not expected any less from
him, his heart suddenly became heavy.
Mikhail, too, did not seem to have any interest in the organization anymore
without Yan Tsui. Since it had now lost its most powerful cornerstone, the
remaining group was only left with the way of ruin. After Mikhail told him about
it in a quite playful tone, a pointed, sarcastic remark followed. "Such irony, don't
you think? You, who doesn't have one drop of Liu blood inside him, are now
standing at the top of the Baishe and have killed your brother, who technically
should have been the legitimate successor."
"What are you talking about?" Feilong slowly lifted his head. A faint gurgle
One could hear how the mafioso with the name of an angel laughed quietly at
the other end of the phone. "Stop pretending now! That wasn't supposed to be
an offense. Even if you want to keep this case away from yourself under any
circumstances, I know very well that this carries your thumbprint."
Mikhail likely had hoped the brothers would start a magnificent vendetta. His
shameless manner of speaking allowed the conclusion that Yan Tsui's death was
no particularly hard blow for him. Had Yan Tsui, who had been his underling,
managed his comeback in the Baishe, Mikhail could have brought the entire
mafia world of Hong Kong under his control. It was the same aim that Asami had
also pursued back then, seven years ago. And even if it had not come that far, it
would have led to friction within the Baishe if people had learned that Yan Tsui
was still alive. It was not rare that the foolish boss of such an extensive
organization who had been expelled from his place in the past used the favor of
the moment to be rehabilitated. Had conflicts arisen in the Baishe, it would have
weakened Feilong's power without a doubt. No matter how the situation would
have evolved, it would have been an advantage for Mikhail. So one could say
that this time, Feilong had gotten ahead of the plans of the Russian mafia, who
had pulled the strings behind the scenes of the commotion regarding the rights
Mikhail Arbatov... While his name went through Feilong's mind, he
remembered his beautiful face with the blond hair and blue eyes. Although he
shared his name with an angel, he was as cunning as a devil. His hedonistic talk
and conduct were very striking, but he was hard to figure out, as he did not let
himself be swayed by his emotions and at the same time had the nerve to
directly invade hostile territory if he could profit from it.
"What a shame for you that I crashed your plans."
"And how! Your subordinates really seem to respect you a lot." Mikhail did not
make any effort at all to hide that Yan Tsui had only found out so quickly that
Feilong was in Taiwan due to his help - he had intended from the start to make
Yan Tsui do his bidding by means of drugs to then throw him away. This
shamelessness astonished Feilong instead of shocking him.
One has to be wary of him... he thought. Maybe it had been Mikhail's plan to
undermine Feilong, or he had meant to capitalize on the disturbances to
implement another villainous scheme. However it was construed, what was clear
was that he had abused Feilong's brother for it; Yan Tsui was Mikhail's victim
and left a deep wound in Feilong's and Tao's hearts. The price they had been
forced to pay was so high that anger arose inside Feilong again.
''Someday you will regret this, Mikhail!"
"We'll see! Your dear brother was an eyesore to you anyway, so it was just the
right thing that you got a reason to eliminate him, wasn't it?"
It irritated Feilong that it sounded like Mikhail wanted thanks for giving him
occasion to murder his brother, and he chose his inflection so that it had to rub
Feilong the wrong way, which seemed to amuse him on top of that. Feilong
closed his eyes. A brilliant smile played around his lips. "That's just like you."
The water which he had scooped with the palm of his hand dripped through
his fingers. The drops splashed on the water surface, the noise echoing through
the bath. His unconcerned tone of voice, which made it sound like it was an
unimportant matter they were discussing, made Mikhail notice that he was
different than usual.
"Well, well, that sounds as if you've changed?" The laughter disappeared from
"Did it sound like that to you? Maybe the blood went to my head in the warm
water. In any case, I shall return your kindness regarding that matter."
And so, the conversation came to a very one-sided end.
Feilong hung up and rose, the water drops running down his body. Fie combed
his hair that was sticking to his skin now, and left the glazed, spacious bathroom.
Fie wiped off the drops and slipped on a bathrobe over his damp skin. As though
he wanted to blow away the emotions that had gotten to his head, he exhaled
Fie did not have to agonize over the soul of a dead person any longer. Fie was
not imprisoned by the past anymore. Flowever, if someone were to ask him
whether it had been the right thing, he would forever remain uncertain. Fie
constantly mulled it over again but did not find a way that would have ended it
differently. Fie knew that he bore the responsibility for all of this, and yet he
sometimes wished for nothing more than someone who just gave him
reassurement. Asami did not have to rub it in his face - he knew himself that it
was immature behavior. Feilong had probably lost his temper back then because
Asami had hit bullseye.
A soft, concerned voice sounded, and he raised his eyes.
"Master Fei, are you not feeling well?"
Tao was standing beside the door; it seemed he had waited to attend to
Feilong, like always after the bath. There he was, with a thick towel and a comb.
"Everything is fine, Tao!"
Until some time ago, Tao would have immediately run over to him, but when
their gazes met, he lowered his head. Through the hair, one could see his eyes
clouded with emotion.
Since their return from Taiwan, this reaction had become quite frequent. At
the call of his master, he slowly lifted his head.
"What's the matter? Do you perhaps have a fever, Tao?" Feilong laid the back
of his hand on Tao's flushed cheeks.
Tao's body cringed and tensed as if electricity were flowing through him, and
he backed away. "L.l'm fine! Please!"
A little flustered, he eventually started moving stiffly and shifted the chair back
from the mirror table. The place where Feilong's hand had touched him had
grown hot and damp with sweat, but this heat was ignited on the inside and
different from the feverish temperature of a child. As though nothing had
happened, Feilong closed his robe and sat down on the elegantly shaped chair,
and Tao diligently began combing his hair, which had soaked up the steam. Since
they had used to have little conversations during this ritual in the past, it did not
escape Feilong's attention that Tao was trying to avoid his eye. Maybe Feilong
made him feel pensive for some reason. Tao was desperately trying to focus on
his task. Feilong was a little clueless as to how he should deal with his unusual
behavior, which had been so different before the journey to Taiwan - every time
he noticed it anew, he was unable to suppress his confusion. Fie could not
imagine that Yan Tsui alone was a decisive factor for Tao's demeanor to this
extent, but he could not think of another reason.
Should I tell Too about Yan Tsui's death? he pondered. For a second he
thought that the conversation between him and Mikhail could have been heard
from outside, but even if that had not been the case, he could not keep it a
secret from Tao that Yan Tsui was dead. He was his biological father after all.
Should he attempt to withhold this information, Tao would learn it from
someone sooner or later, and although Feilong had not done it himself, he was
still strongly involved in Yan Tsui's death, so before Tao learned it from the
rumor mill, it was better if he heard it from his own lips. He made up his mind
and began to speak, "Tao, I have to tell you something."
Tao's combing hand stopped. Feilong wanted to use that in order to get
everything out in one go. "Surely you remember Yan Tsui, whom we met in
Taiwan. Last week, he pass..."
It was unusual for Tao to interrupt him so rudely. Feilong raised his head, and
through the mirror, Tao's resolute eyes met his.
"For me, there's only you! Only you, Master Feilong!"
"Tao..." Feilong believed he briefly saw the features of his brother flashing
across Tao's face, which looked more mature than it had heretofore.
"Your hair is really beautiful..."
Feilong remembered how Yan Tsui had stroked his hair lovingly because he
regretted cutting it. Would Tao also direct the blade of hate at him someday?
The scar on his left chest stung, and a piercing pain overcame him. This stigma of
sin would haunt him his whole life long.
He looked at the hand which Tao had placed on his shoulder. It had gotten
much sturdier and stronger; his fingers were plastered with tape, and at the
sight of his blisters that had burst open time and time again, Feilong's heart
Once back in Hong Kong, Tao had insisted on learning the handling of weapons
and martial arts. He felt responsible for having been defenseless in the face of
the abduction that had put Feilong in danger and in the course of which he and
Yoh had gotten hurt unnecessarily. Now that he was being trained by a master,
he was acquiring the basics of jujutsu. Not only that, it seemed to Feilong as
though his devotion was even deeper than before, which was probably also
attributable to the fact that he carried feelings of guilt he wanted to erase. The
emotions emanating from Tao were decreasingly the ones of a child. They were
changing and turning into the power of a strong-minded, adult man. It was
possibly his way of showing that he did not want to stay the helpless child
"You are important to me, Tao!"
Tao's voice was husky. "Really?" he laughed, full of joy.
For some time since they had returned to Hong Kong, Feilong had not been
able to see this laughing face anymore. But it looked different from before.
"You're very important to me too, Master Fei! More than anything..."
The warmth of his palm sank through the fabric. Feilong did not know why, but
his breathing suddenly was not going that easily anymore, as if invisible silk
threads were gradually tightening around his throat. His chest was aching. He
laid his hand on Tao's and took it from his shoulder. "You don't need to comb my
hair anymore. Instead, I would be happy if you prepared some tea."
Tao's smile was stilted, but he nodded obediently and rushed out of the room.
Feilong stood up and took a deep breath.
Ever since they were back in Hong Kong, Tao seemed to have grown a bit.
What he had said to Yoh at the airport had by no means been an exaggeration -
he was close to growing taller than 1.60 meters. Should his process of growth
continue to go this well, the day would certainly come when he would be taller
than Feilong. Slowly but steadily, Tao's body became the one of an adult man,
and Feilong had a sense that he resembled the young Yan Tsui.
Legitimate successor , was it...
Mikhail's words weighed heavily on Feilong's heart. Now that Yan Tsui was
dead, Tao, who had the blood of the Liu family inside him, would succeed the
Baishe should something happen to Feilong. Fie did not want Tao to take the
same path as him; however, this wish, which he had carried in his heart for a
long time, was about to be extinguished by Tao himself.
Feilong put on his silken Chang Pao and went into his private room, where Tao
was laying the tea utensils out ready and heating up the pot. While Feilong was
waiting for the tea to steep, he went over to stand at the window side of the
room. Tao had chosen the Chang Pao which was reflected in the window. On a
black background, a dragon embroidered with golden stitches was visible; it
covered the area from the chest up to the shoulder, coiling its golden scales and
thus accentuating Feilong's smooth body and limbs. The view of the city from
the highrise on the 80 th floor was filled with splendor and flawless at night.
When looking down at the scenery beneath him like this, he felt as though the
world was lying in his hand. But at the same time, this feeling of fulfillment was
also accompanied by a strong sense of solitude which threatened to engulf his
heart if he was not on his guard.
Was that really what I wanted? he asked himself.
The world will keep turning. And the stronger one wishes for an event never to
occur again, the more likely it is that the same result follows. It had been Tao's
own decision to stay in this world, and Feilong could not interfere anymore.
Imposed kindness and sympathy would fuel doubts. Fie was aware of that, but
each time he sensed the darkness in which Tao was growing up little by little, he
shivered. It would take a while until Tao's faltering heart calmed down.
Unconsciously, Feilong lifted his right hand and ran his fingertips over the rim
of his mouth, tracing the hot lips on which the memory of Asami had been
Yoh... he thought. Fie had carried out Feilong's mission without objection, as if
it were an affirmation that Feilong's decision had been the right one. It stirred
him up. On the one hand, he contracted his eyebrows because of Yoh's forward
behavior, but on the other hand, the load of his heart became a little lighter
"I let you wait, Master Fei!"
Slowly, Feilong looked over to Tao. The sweet aroma of the tea tickled his nose,
and he remembered the short morning the three of them had spent together.
"That's why I said you're warmhearted."
Flow could Yoh have thought to know Feilong so well? A smile played around
"Yes, I'm coming!"
Had the wound on his left shoulder healed already?
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