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“ Look on this Picture, and on that.” 






18 19. 

Price One Shilling. 

“ 0 England !—model to thy inward greatness 
Like little body with a mighty heart,— 

What might’st thee do, that honour would thee do, 
Were all thy children kind and natural!” 


The Mottos are chiefly selected from Shakespeare, Cowper, and Dr. Young. 

W. Flint, Printer, Angel Court, Skinner Street. 







Political Parties, Oratorical Demagogues, and 
Public and Private Writers, 














London, December 1 3th, 1819. 

u England, with all thy faults, I love thee still— 

- and, while yet a nook is left, 

Where English minds and manners may be found, 
Shall be constrain’d to love thee-— ” 




<l Incomparable gem ! thy worth untold ; 

Cheap, tho J blood-bought, and thrown away when sol d ( 
May no foes ravish thee, and no false friend 
Betray thee, while professing to defend ! 

Prize it, ye ministers ; ye monarchs spare ; 

Ye patriots guard it with a miser’s care.” 



that lay 

In the HOUSE that Jack built. 


(i Pthe commonwealth I would by contraries 
Execute all things : for no kind of traffick 
Would I adrpt; no name of magistrate ; 

Letters should not be known; no use of service, 

Of riches or of poverty; no contracts, 

Successions ; bound of land, tilth, vineyard, none ? 
No use of metal, corn, or wine, or oil; 

No occupation ; all men idle, all; 

And women too ; but innocent and pure : 

No sovereignty:— ***-.* * 

All things in common nature should produce 
Without sweat or endeavour: treason, felony.” 

(i The Thieves are scatter’d, and possess’d with fear 
So strongly, that they dare not meet each other.” 



Who would plunder the TREASURES 
That lay in the HOUSE 
That Jack built. 


“ Thou, as a gallant bark from Albion's coast 
(The storms all- weather'd and the ocean cross'd) 

Shoots into port at some well-haven'd isle. 

Where spices breathe, and brighter seasons smile ; 

Where sits quiescent on the floods that show - 
Her beauteous form reflected clear below, 

While airs impregnated with incense play 
Around her, fanning light her streamers gay ; 

So thou, with sails how swift! hast reach'd the shore, 
Where tempests never beat nor billows roar." 



that weather’d the Storm,” 
And devised the means of subduing 

Who would plunder the TREASURES 
That lay in the HOUSE that Jack built. 

“ Such men are rais’d to station and command* 
When Providence means mercy to a land. 

He speaks, and they appear ; to Him they owe 
Skill to direct, and strength to strike the blow ; 
To manage with address, to seize with pow’r 
The crisis of a dark decisive hour.” 



of high renown-— 

The Heroes of Britain—the Gems of her Crown ; 
Who, despising all Danger, and scorning all Fear, 
When all was at stake, that their Country held dear* 
’Midst Jacobin Rebels, and Friends of Reform, 
Supported “ TITE PILOT 

that weather’d the Storm,” 

Who devised the means, of subduing 

Who would plunder the TREASURES 
' That lay in the HOUSE that Jack built. 

* ■ * ’ • V ' 

“ Go to, they are not men o’theif words.” 

—- " Having wielded the elements, and built 

A thousand systems—each in his own way, 

They should go out in fume, and be forgot.” 

“ Like quicksilver, the rhetoric they display 
Shines as it runs, but grasp'd, it slips away.” 

“ Patriots are grown too shrew’d to be sincere, 

And we too wise to trust them --” 



shaven and shorn— 

The broad-bottom’d Whigs, now all forlorn ; 

Who grumbl’d and growl’d* from night till morn, 
And pointed “ the slow-moving finger of scorn,” 
At the Country in which they were all “ bred and 

Had grown saucy and fat, on its wine and its corn ; 
Who blew a loud blast, on the place-hunter’s horn. 
And with Joe Millar’s Jests, did their Speeches adorn; 
Who predicted the final success of our foes, 

Then sigh’d if they sunk, and rejoic’d if they rose ; 
Who swore, when the French were defeated, that we 
Were kill’d by the sword, or were drown’d in the 

Who rail’d against Placemen, till they were in Place, 
Then sneer’d at their Monarch—nay, laugh’d in his 

Who bragg’d of their Talents, and pass’d a few Acts; 
And increas’d, 5 per Cent, the vile Property Tax ; 
Who thought themselves safe in their snug little 

And gave themselves up to Carousing and Mirth ; 
Who slept every night, upon Pillows of Down* 
Abhorring those PATRIOTS, of 
high renown— 

The Heroes of Britain—the Gems of her Crown ; 
Who, despising all Dangers, and scorning all Fear, 
When all was at stake, that their Country held dear, 
’Midst Jacobin Rebels, and Friends of Reform, 
Supported “ THE PILOT 

that weather’d the Storm 
Who devised the means, of subduing 

Who would plunder the TREASURES 
That lay in the HOUSE that Jack built. 

- “ Poverty with most, who whimper forth 

Their long complaints, is self-inflicted woe ; 

The effects of laziness or sottish waste.” 


“ O, Sir, you are old ; 

Nature in you stands on the very verge 
Of her confine : you should be ruPd and led 
By some discretion, that discerns your state 

, Better than you yourself —--” 

Orator Hunt. 

C( There shall be, in England, seven half-penny loaves sold for a penny ; 
the three-hooped pot shall haye ten hoops; and I will make it felony to 
erink small beer: all the realm shall be in common, and in Cheapside shall 
-my palfry go to grass. A n d> when I am king, there shall be no money ; all 
: hall eat and drink on my score ; and I will apparel them all in one livery, 
that they may agree like brothers, and worship me their lord’.” 

The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” 


4< And is there, who the blessed Cross wipes off', 

As a foul blot from his dishonour’d brow, * 

If Angels tremble, ’tis at such a sight.” 



Friends of Reform, 

Devising new Plots for exciting a Storm: 

A mistaken old MAJOR sits hatching Sedition, 
Yet dreams all the while of a lawful Petition ; 

And whilst Orator HUNT indites the Inscription, 
He pockets the Pence of the Penny Subscription ; 
Yet vows he’s the best, and most honest of men, 
Swears lies to the LAWYER, who swears them 

And here is the DOCTOR of Spa-Fields fame, 
Who vow’d he would set all the Town in a flame, 
With a Stocking well-stuff’d full of Powder and Ball, 
A Speech of two hours, and a Pistol withal. 

Here’s PRESTON, the Cobbler, just come from 
his trial, 

To Gin and Sedition outrageously loyal; 

Like most of his breth’ren, who, spite of their votes, 
Preserve their allegiance to Thompson and Coates ; 
And would sooner expel from their Clubs and their 


The Chairman himself, than Friends—Henley and 

Here’s THISTLE WOOD, too, who tells “ Tales 
out of School,” 

That Orator HUNT is a Knave and a Fool. 

A Staffordshire BARONET, wrapp’d in a scarf, 
Sits nursing an ugly, mis-shapen, 


And here is CARLILE, with his Two-penny 

Who prefers to his Bible the vile “ Age of Reason 
Who “ wipes off the Cross,” as an infamous stain, 
Despises his Saviour, but worships Tom Paine. 
These are all ragged RADICALS, tatter’d and torn, 
Who better, by far, had never been born, 

On account of their Treasons, too great to be borne, 

First hatch’d by the HYPOCRITES, 
shaven and shorn— 

The broad-bottom’d Whigs, now all forlorn ; 

W ho grumbl’d and growl’d, from night till morn, 
And pointed the “ slow-moving finger of scorn,’ 

At the Country in which they were all “ bred and 

Had grown saucy and fat, on its wine and its corn ; 
Who blew a loud blast, on the place-hunter’s horn, 
And with Joe Millar’s Jests, did their Speeches 
adorn * 

Who predicted the final success of our foes, 

Then sigh’d if they sunk, and rejoic’d if they rose; 
Who swore, when the French were defeated, that we 
Were kill’d by the sword, or were drown’d in the 

Who rail’d against Placemen, till they were in Place, 
Then sneer’d at their Monarch—nay, laugh’d in his 
face ; 

Who bragg’d of their Talents, and pass’d a few Acts, 
And increas’d, 5 per Cent, the vile Property Tax ; 
Who thought themselves safe in their snug little birth, 
And gave themselves up, to Carousing and Mirth ; 
Who slept ev’ry night, upon Pillows of Down, 
Abhorring those PATRIOTS, 

of high renown— 

The Heroes pf Britain—the Gems of her Crown ; 
Who, despising all Danger, and scorning all Fear, 
When all was at stake, that their Country held dear, 
’Midst Jacobin Rebels, and Friends of Reform, 
Supported “THE PILOT 

that weather’d the Storm,” 
Who devised the means of subduing 

Who would plunder the TREASURES 
That lay in the HOUSE that Jack built*, 


A saucy roughness-*—— ——-— 

These kind of knaves I know, which in this plainness 
Harbour more craft, and more corrupter ends, 

Than twenty silly ducking observants. 

That stretch their duties nicely.** 

u As one, who lay in thickets and in brakes- 
Entangl’d, winds now this way and no^ that 
His devious course uncertain, seeking homei” 



with Thomas Paine’s bones, 

A bag full of brick-bats, and 
one full of stones, 

With which he intends to discharge 
the long Debt 

He owes to his Friends, and 

Sir Francis Burdett: 

’Tis Cobbett, the changeling, 

the worthless and base, 

Just arriv’d from New York, with 
, his impudent face, 

Who comes to dispel our 
political fogs. 

And to add one more beast to 

our Hampshire Hogs, 

To mix with the.RADICALS— 

Friends of Reform* 

Devising new Plots, for 

exciting a Storm : 

A mistaken old Major sits hatching Sedition, 

Yet dreams all the while of a lawful Petition ; 

And whilst Orator Hunt indites the Inscription, 

He pockets the Pence of the Penny Subscription ; 
Yet vows he’s the best, and most honest of men, 
Swears lies to the Lawyer, who swears them again. 
And here is the Doctor, of Spa-Fields fame, 

Who vow’d he would set all the Town in a flame, 
With a Stocking well-stuff’d full of Powder and Ball, 
A Speech of two hours, and a Pistol withal. 

Here’s Preston, the Cobbler, just come from his trial, 
To Gin and Sedition outrageously loyal; 

Like most of his breth’ren, who, spite of their 

Preserve their allegiance to Thompson and Coates.; 

And would sooner expel from their Clubs and their 

The Chairman himself, than friends Henley and 

Here’s Thistlewood, too, who tells “ Tales out of 

That Orator Hunt is 

a Knave and a Fool, 

A Staffordshire Baronet, 

wrapp’d in a scarf. 

Sits nursing an ugly, 

mis-shapen, Black Dwarf. 

And here is Carlile, with his 

Two-penny Treason, 

Who prefers to his Bible, 

the vile “ Age of Reason 
Who “wipes off the Cross,” 

as an infamous stain, 

Despises his Saviour, but 

worships Tom Paine. 

These are all ragged Radicals, 
tatter’d and torn, 

Who better, by far, had 

never been born, 

On account of their Treasons, 

too great to be borne, 

First hatched by the HYPOCRITES, 
shaven and shorn— 

The broad-bottom’d Whigs, 
now all forlorn ; 

Who grumbl’d and growl’d, from night till morn, 

And pointed the “ slow-moving finger of scorn,” 

At the Country in which they were all “ bred and 

Had grown saucy and fat, on its wine and its corn ; 
Who blew a loud blast on the place-hunter’s, horn, 
And with Joe Millar’s Jests did their Speeches 

Who predicted the final success of our foes, 

Then sigh’d if they sunk ; and rejoic’d if they rose ; 
Who swore, when the French were defeated, that we 
Were kill’d by the sword, or were drown’d in the 

Who rail’d against Placemen, till they were in Place, 
Then sneer’d at their Monarch—nay, laugh’d in his 

Who bragg’d of their Talents, and pass’d a few Acts, 
And increas’d, 5 per Cent, the vile Property Tax ; 
Who thought themselves safe, in their snug little 

And gave themselves up, to Carousing and Mirth ; 
Who slept every night, upon Pillows of Down, 
Abhorring those PATRIOTS, 

of high renown— 

The Heroes of Britain—the Gems of her Crown ; 
Who, despising all Danger, and scorning all Fear, 
When all was at stake, that their Country held dear, 
’Midst Jacobin Rebels, and Friends of Reform, 
Supported “THE PILOT 

that weather’d the Storm,” 
Who devised the means of subduing 

Who would plunder the TREASURES 
That lay in the HOUSE that Jack built. 

In diet, in affections of delight, 

In military rules, humours of blood, 

He was the mark and glass, copy and book, 
That fashion’d others.” 

“ Methought, thy very gait did prophecy 
A royal nobleness:—I must embrace thee ; 
Let sorrow split my heart, if ever 
1 did hate thee, or thy FATHER 1” 



of a generous Mind, 

The Friend of his Country, and 
all Mankind ; 

Who, lending his Ear to 

the dictates of Truth, 

Dismiss’d from his presence 

the Friends of his Youth ; 

Who took to his Councils 

in fortunate hour, 

The foes to Napoleon’s 

exorbitant power; 

Who views with disdain, or 

a good-humour’d smile, 

The libellous trash of the 

base and the vile; 

And all such as COBBETT, with 
Thomas Paine’s Bones, 

A bag full of brick-bats, and one full of stones, 
With which he intends to discharge the long Debt 
He owes to his Friends, and Sir Francis Burdett. 
’Tis Cobbett, the changeling, the worthless and base, 
Just arrived from New York, with his impudent face. 
Who comes to dispel, our Political fogs, 

And to add one more beast to our Hampshire Hogs, 
To mix with the RADICALS— 

Friends of Reform, 

Devising new Plots for exciting a Storm : 

A mistaken old Major sits hatching Sedition, 

Yet dreams all the while of a lawful Petition • 

And whilst Orator Hunt indites the Inscription, 
He pockets the Pence of the Penny Subscription ; 
Yet vows he’s the best, and most honest of men, 
Swears lies to the Lawyer, who swears them again. 

And here is the Doctor of Spa-Fields fame, 

Who vow’d he would set all the Town in a flame, 
With a Stocking well-stuff’d full of Powder and Ball, 
A Speech of two hours, and a Pistol withal. 

Here’s Preston, the Cobbler, just come from his trial, 
To Gin and Sedition outrageously loyal; 

Like most of his breth’ren, who, spite of their votes, 
Preserve their allegiance to Thompson and Coates: 
And would sooner expel from their Clubs and their 

The Chairman himself, than friends Henley and 

Here’s Thistlewood, too, who tells “ Tales out of 

That Orator Hunt is a Knave and a Fool. 

A Staffordshire Baronet, wrapp’d in a scarf, 

Sits nursing an ugly, mis-shapen, Black Dwarf. 

And here is Garble, with his Two-penny Treason, 
Who prefers to his Bible the vile “ Age of Reason 
Who “wipes off the Cross,” as an infamous stain, 
Despises his Saviour, but worships Tom Paine. 
These are all ragged Radicals, tatter’d and torn, 
Who, better by far, had never been born, 

On account of their Treasons, too great to be borne* 
First hatch’d by the HYPOCRITES, 
shaven and shorn— 

The broad-bottom’d Whigs, now all forlorn ; 

Who grumbl’d and growl’d, from night till morn, 
And pointed the “ slow-moving finger of scorn,” 

At the Country in which they were all “ bred and 

Had grown saucy and fat, on its wine and its corn ; 

Who blew a loud blast, on the place-hunter’s horn, 
And with Joe Millar’s Jests did their Speeches adorn; 
Who predicted the final success of our foes, 

Then sigh’d if they sunk, and rejoic’d if they rose; 
Who swore, when the French were defeated, that we 
Were kill’d by the sword, or were drown’d in the 

Who rail’d against Placemen, till they were in Place, 
Then sneer’d at their Monarch—nay, laugh’d in his 

Who bragg’d of their Talents, and pass’d a few Acts, 
And increas’d, 5 per Cent, the vile Property Tax; 
Who thought themselves safe, in their snug little 

And gave themselves up to Carousing and Mirth ; 
Who slept ev’ry night, upon Pillows of Down, 
Abhorring those PATRIOTS, 

of high renown— 

The Heroes of Britain—the Gems of her Crown ; 
Who, despising all Danger, and scorning all Fear, 
When all was at stake, that their Country held dear, 
’Midst Jacobin Rebels, and Friends of Reform, 
Supported “ THE PILOT 

that weather’d the Storm,” 

Who devised the means of subduing 

Who would plunder the TREASURES 
That lay in the HOUSE that Jack built. 



“ I venerate the man, whose heart is warm, 

Whose hands are pure, whose doctrine, and whose life 

Coincident, exhibit lucid proof 

That he is honest in the SACRED CAUSE.” 



made according to Truth, 
The guide of Old Age— 

the Instructor of Youth ; 

Belov’d and respected by all 
whom he teaches, 

Himself the example of 

all that he preaches ; 

The friend of the poor, 

the afflicted and sad, 

The terror alone of the 

impious and bad. 

He embroils not himself 

with affairs of the State, 

And, though closely allied, 

keeps aloof from the great; 

Yet dares not against them 

vile calumnies fling; 

But, fearing his Maker, 

he hohours his King. 

A radical friend to 

the Cause of Reform— 

A true Revolutionist, 

loving a storm:— 

A storm of the soul— 

a Reform of the heart,— 

A radical change, that 

bids error depart, 

He harangues to the people, 

like Prophets of old; 

But harangues not for 

popular favour nor gold. 
Obedient to all the commands of his Lord, 
Knows how to distinguish the Bible and Sword. 
His greatest delight, is to teach and do good; 
His greatest abhorrence the shedding of blood ; 

Hence he cautions the thoughtless, of those t© 

Who affect for the poor and the needy to care, 

Yet feed not the hungry, nor cover the bare ; 

Who prate about Liberty, Virtue, and Reason, 
Whilst plotting Destruction,Rebellion, and Treason ; 
And pretending at once to destroy Superstition, 
Lead their blind-folded votaries headlong to perdition, 
Against these blasphemers and hollow deceivers, 
This “ Priest of the Temple,” warns all true believers, 
Exhorting the poor to hold fast by the Bible, 

And leave all the rest to the children of libel; 

To look up to Him to whom mercy belongs, 

To protect them from ill, and redress all their wrongs; 
Assur’d of this truth, that we read in the word : 

“ They shall ne’er be forsaken who trust in the 

r / ^ // ■'' - - -- 

W. Flint, Printer, Angel Court, Skinner Street 




l}0ltttco=&gtronomtcal pjenotmnon, 



Cf>c eonftguratum of tte planets. 



Adapted to these Wonderful Times! 

“ All tongues speak of him, and the bleared sights 
M Are spectacled to see him.” 

jerconSf lEtiition* 



are by Mr. I. R. CRUIKSHANK. 

Printed by T. Dolby, 2P9, Strand, London. 



Courteous Reader: 

This eclipse* 

Tho’ Moore so deep in science dips, 

Was not foretold; but it is said 

That Moore and Andrews both are dead* 

So sly withal, so deep and chary* 

Was that Royston Luminary * 

Never could I, broad or ’t home. 

Once in conjunction with him come* 

Had I his ultramundane store, 

I’d write i’ th’ style of mystic lore* 

Of Capricorn, of knees, and /tarns* 

Of Cancer, Leo, bulls, and rams; 

Of legs and shoulders, arms and hips, 

But-to proceed with the eclipse* 

As in the vast expanse we see* 

The orbs all varying in degree, 

Revolving round some fixed star* 

Now nearer us, now from us far; 

Sustained by Gravitation s laws* 

Enacted by the great First Cause:— 

So do Terrestrial objects bend 
And toward one common centre tend ; 

Nor let a thought be entertained* 

The simile is overstrained. 

Terrestrial bodies have their signs, 

One darkens and another shines; 

Sometimes we see they change their places, 
Slide across each other’s faces ; 

Sometimes these terrestrial ’clipses 
Brown us all like herds of gypsies: 


Some, swift revolving, disappear, 

And come again another year; 

Some shine with pure refulgence bright, 
Some glimmer with a borrow’d light. 

The prosp’rous soar to Zenith ; Nadir 
Headlong drags th’ unlucky trader. 

The doctrine, too, of parallaxes 
Might apply to all our taxes : 

All our great terrestrial lights, 

Have girdles , belts, and satellites. 

Of beauty we ha xe constellations 
Envied by surrounding nations. 

The Sov’reign’s face, with virtue’s rays, 
Should light all persons, times, and ways; 
Should cheer the worthy, shame the bad, 
And make the truly-loyal glad. 

For, when the sov’reign light is pure, 

All else is peaceful and secure; 

But, when the Sov’reign light’s put out, 

Bad men the Law and Morals flout; 

Fools and knaves all get promoted, 

Wise and good men, shunned and scouted. 
During such an obscuration 
Vice and folly fill the nation; 

Bishops, to please the king, will pray 
As suits the humour of the' day; 

And Judges, always, at such times, 

Oppress the brave and wink at crimes. 

As for the King, God bless the mark! 

His gracious face is all i’ th’ dark, 

Veering out of its ecliptic, 

Worthless as Ruspini’s styptic. 


Lamentations heard i’th’ air, stratige screams of death, 
And prophesying, with accents terrible, 

Of dire combustion and confus’d events, 

New hatch’d to the woeful time.”— Shakspeare. 

Scarce had the Sun o’er Taxland ris’n, 
Emerging from its murky prison ; 

Scarce had the Sov’reign’s morning light 
Roll’d back the dusky folds of night; 

Than’s cheerless rays, with faint attraction, 
Noxious vapours call’d int’ action ; 

Shapeless clouds, portending wrath, 

In hideous folds beset his path. 

Old Tyranny, with visage grim, 

Hypocrisy in holy trim, 


Which means, although’t the Gospel preaches, 
Axes, cannon balls, and leeches; 

Rueful Signs obscur’d the skies, and 
Chac’d each other to th’ horizon. 

Thus Georgium Sidus’ reign set in, 

Each Taxlander held up his chin, 

And thought, no doubt, ’twas very odd 

Such things should come b’ th’ “grace of God.” 

Some thought it might be all for the best, 

Some, ardent spirits, could not rest; 

The learned, even, harboured hopes 
That, with the aid of telescopes, 

“ Appliances and means to boot,” 

They might b’ enabled to see through ’t. 

All look’d up with anxious stare, 

To view the prodigies i’ th’ air: 

Many experiments were tried 

And thousands had become moon-eyed. 

Things were in a dreadful train : 

Some prayed for thunder, some for rain; 

Some thought there was a sulph’rous smell, 

The wind got up and omnium fell. 

The Taxlanders have heav’n to thank 
There wer’ n’t a run upon the Bank; 

All guarded well against ignition, 

And turn’d to Francis Moore, Physician. 

Now Moore, who, for so many years, 

Had liv’d b’ exciting hopes and fears, 

And his successor, Henry Andrew, 

Who, on mathematic plan, drew 


Types of woeful times to come, 

Had closed their labours, and gone home. 
We can’t, therefore, now they are dead, 
Consult their pages, black and red:— 

Had Andrews for a while been spar’d, 

The Taxlanders need not have car’d; 

He could have reckoned to a T 
The Perigee and Apogee 
Of any thing:—the greatest sage 
Of both the nation and the age. 

Strong breezes soon the clouds dispell’d, 
The Taxlanders again beheld 
Great Sidus’ face once more laid bare, 
And gleaming through the ambient air; 

But, what was their surprize and grief, 

On b’holding their anointed chief, 

Beset at either cheek and chin 

With Force and Fraud and Deadly Sin 

Ready to slide before his face. 

And blacken Taxland with disgrace! 



All plainly saw was coming on 
That wonderful phenomenon 
Which pos’d the learned and the wise, 
Who thought, whatever in earth or skies, 
Occurr’d, they must know all about it,—■ 
None but vulgar folks could doubt it; 

On them the vulgar turned their backs, 
And laid aside their almanacks. 

The Planets now, with aspects evil, 

’S if directed by the devil, 

In circles dense and steady pace, 

Began t’obscure great Sinus’ face. 


And darken every gracious function 
By their horrible conjunction; 

Smiling with Satanic grin, 

To have the world wrapped up in sin. 

Some time before the light was gone, 

All knew the issue coming on ; 

Therefore, the wicked and the vile 
Form’d plans th’ unwary to beguile, 

Like thieves and sharpers here, in London, 
Waiting until after sundown, 

Brewing plans throughout the day, 

Go forth at night and sieze their prey ; 

Or, like those dames of easy virtue, 

Who, at every turning, court you, 
Breathing accents soft and luring, 

Lead their dupes to death or ruin. 

Honesty was laid aside, 

Too cumbrous for the coming tide ; 
Hypocrisy pricked up its ears, 

(When darkness reigns it never fears!) 
Premiums offered for such schemes, 

And writers hir’d to broach such themes. 

As ministers should please t’ affirm 
Would keep the King and State from harm. 
Moreover, Ministers ordained, 

That, while their “ social order” reign’d, 
They’d issue circ’lars to their fags, 

Collect their ’pinions into Bags, 

And, lay’ng the whole before the council, 
Make the Radicals renounce ill. 



iWtfftrle of tj)f ©clijist, 



“ That when the searching eye of Heaven is hid 
Behind the globe, and lights the lower world, 

“ Then thieves and robbers range abroad unseen.”— Shakspeare . 

Farewell! great Si dus, Tax land’s Sun, 
Thy twylight reign is nearly done. 

Spots in thy disk had long been seen, 
But now whole Planets intervene, 

And in one gloomy mass unite 
To wrap thy rays in hopeless night! 
Dark and dreary was til’ expanse, 

Except o’er Italy and France, 

Some gliinm’ring rays began t’ appear, 
And shoot across our hemisphere; 


Meantime, th’ eclipse, with shadow dense, 
Maintain’d its dismal influence, , 

And “ darkness visible” remain’d 
As long as Georgium Sidus reign’d. 

Whatever ’tis eclipses cause, 

How brought about, or by what laws 
The orbs their circling courses go, 

The author don’t pretend to know; 

The Reader’s, therefore, not t’expect 
The cause o’ th’ eclipse, but the effect; 

And those effects , in various ways, 

Are visible in these our days. 

For instance, mighty Taxland's Sun 
Is now eclips’d and’s glory gone;— 

Th’ effects are visible below, 

As we shall undertake to shew. 

The lesser orbs , or Lords, or Peers, 

With tales obscene annoy our ears, 

And ’gainst the Carolina star. 

Are waging an unequal war; 

Each from its own ecliptic running, 

Light of truth and justice shunning. 

Ev’n Bishops, who should light us all, 

Lest we in Satan’s net should fall, 

With most unwholesome doctrine feed us, 
Helping Satan to mislead us. 


Effects of tfje fStltyge 



“ Brave Peers of E- g -d—Pillars of the State!"— Shakspeare. 

Behold the grave and learned sages, 
Laughing stocks for after ages;— 

See! the pious Chance seller, 
Holding in his hand, so clear 
The proof, he thinks, of something wrong 
B’ th’ ’pearance of une pot de cliamb* / 

His lordship, with a serious face, 

Quoted from th’ reports, a case, 

In which some judge had laid it down 
That pots belonging to the crown, 

Might be brought in, by scire facias 
Ev’dence in adult’ry -cases. 


Other Lords still thought, that tho’, 

From gen’ral ’pearance of the pot. 

Guilty acts might be inferr’d, 

The doctrine they had never heard; 

The Chance seller, with somewhat vext looks, 
Said the case was in the text books. 

(Cries of “ order” and “ hear hear !”) 

As from back bench some little peer 
Called out in squeaking tone to know, 

Were there two handles to the pot ? 

The question made a great sensation. 

Causing curious speculation, 

Learned judges, ’midst confusion. 

Retired to settle the solution. 

Now, at the Bar, stood Miss de Mont, 
Waiting with HERpof de chatnb*; 

To shew their Lordships that she’d brought a 
Reservoir of vestal water, 

Genuine , from her own room, 

Which, (with the leave of Mr. B—gh—m), 

She ’d place upon their Lordship’s table : 

Thus their Lordships would be able, 

By nice comparison, to tell 

The Chaste from Unchaste , very well. 

’Twas put to th’ vote as not a “ bad hit:” 
Ministerial party had it. 

The Chance s’ller then the clothes-bag 

Naught from scrut’ny was exempted; 

Ev’ry rag the Peers inspected, 

Ev’ry flea spot was detected. 

Such are Peers when Taxland's Sun ’s 
Eclipsed and from his system gone 1 


©ffcctt of tfjr @dtj)Se 


“ COURTS BELOW,'* 1820 . 

--- “ Majesty 

“ Dies not alone; but, like a gulf, doth draw 
“ What’s near it with it; it is a massy wheel 
“ Fix’d on the summit of the highest mount, 

“ To whose huge spokes ten thousand lesser things 
“ Are mortis’d and adjoin’d ; which, when it falls, 

44 Each small annexment, petty consequence 
44 Attends the boist’rous ruin.”— Shakspeare. 

The mischief went, with nat’ral flow, 

To darken all the “ Courts below 
The oldest Lawyers never saw 
Such darkness in the Courts of Law. 
The Judges, who, with angry scowls, 
Sat blinking like so many owls, 

(Like owls, too, they pursue, and mark 
And nab their prey the best i’ th’ dark,) 


Were not expounders of the laws, 

But ministerial teeth and claws ; 

Who crush’d the bravest in their trammels, 
Strain’d at gnats, and swallowed camels. 

’Tis well the Radicals avoided, 

Till the darkness had subsided, 

Public meetings to complain 
Of lack of trade or price of grain ; 

To call upon the Borough-monger, 

Author of their pain and hunger, 

Ev’n in Petition’s plaintive mood, 

To grant them Liberty or Food ;— 

For judges, now, had no perceivance 
’Tween rebellion and a grievance. 

O, had such meetings taken place, 

What dire confusion, what disgrace. 

There might have happen’d ! who can say— 
Perhaps some gang, in martial ’ray. 

Grim things, half dandy and half brute , 
Equipp’d to cut, or stab, or shoot, 

Might have gone forth in savage mirth 
To smite the suff’rers to the earth ; 

To steep the coward-wielded sword 
In women and in children’s blood ! 

’Tis well there were no meetings, and 
No Chairman with a patriot band 
To seize upon, with Venom’d daws, 

To answer to th’ “ offended lotos!” 

In such a case, the Judges, all, 

Might on the Chairman gravely call, 

To look at yeomens tender faces, 

Flush’d with mild and dimpled graces, 
Wond’ring how the pox he could 
Complain of government so good. 


The Chairman of the Radicals, 

Perhaps, might think the reas’ning false ; 
Quote all the laws of God and man, 

Enacted since the world began, 

To shew, when rulers were corrupt.— 

Their Lordships, here, might interrupt, 

With maxims erudite and terse, 

And say, it only made it worse 
To make defence so bold and long,— 
Therefore he’d better hold his tongue. 

The Judges, then, with ghastly smile, 

Might poke and whisper for a while. 

Then gruffly say, “ Impris’n defendant 
“ Thirty months, and at the end on’t, 

“ (If so be his life held out) 

“ We shall dispose of him, no doubt.” 

When Magistrates are dirty tools. 
Train’d up i’th’ Ministerial rules. 

And when Grand Juries of a county 
Are pensioners on a statesman’s bounty,— 
Are fops and witlings, dandy ’squires. 

Things, such as Party-Leader hires 
Buckskinn’d sportsmen, who caress 
Their dogs, altho’ to mau’s distress 
They’re deaf;—but, drawing out their swords. 
And mutt’ring some unmeaning words 
About the “ Altar and the Throne,” 

Begin to mow the wretched down; 

When, further, there are Special Juries 
Attach'd to Courts of Law; so sure is— 
Justice from thence to make retreat, 

And leave to Force and Fraud the seat.— 
When, and wherever such things be, 

The King, (Lord bless him !) cannot see ! 


f£ffcct£ of tftc $StU$£t 


“ O’er just, o’er sacred, all forbidden ground, 
w Drunk with the burning scent of place or pow’r, 

“ Staunch to the foot of lucre, till they die.”— Young. 

Th’ Eclipse which hid the Sovereign’s head, 
And far and near its darkness spread, 

Through Courts of Law and Legislation, 
Darken’d each subord’nate station. 

The Church, especially, came in 
For her share of Darkness and of Sin. 



In the midst of the confusion, 

Fearful gloom and sad delusion, 

Holy things to sec’lar uses 
Were applied, and great abuses 
Found their way into the pulpit: 
Clergymen, who can exculpate, 

When they use their sacred means 
In furtherance of worldly schemes ? 

The Bible; that was put away,— 

Its ugly texts had had their day,— 

The Courier (no conscience torments !} 
Furnish’d texts and daily comments. 

The Church is, now the King can’t see— 
What no church ever ought to be. 

The Church has been, by right pecul’ar. 

Th’ handmaid of each wicked ruler ; 

With bib tight pinn’d, and plainly ’’ttir’c 
To fetch and carry as desired. 

The vice which reigns in stations high, 

She sees with half-averted eye, 

And, chuckling with a holy leer, 

Affects to neither see nor hear. 

But mark4ier conduct is not so 
When vice peeps out i’ th’ ranks below! 

Then , red with wine and rage she rises, 

Part of her own flock surprises, 

Points her mouth like blunderbuss, 

And fulminates a thund’ring curse. 

When Politics the Clergy preach, 
Meanwhile b’yond contradiction’s reach,— 


Sheer force protects them ; those are times, 
To perpetrate the worst state crimes. 

The Clergy, when they want to please us, 

Preach of meek and lowly J-s ; 

Bishops make a stalking horse 

Of taking up the S-r’s cross ! 

Some naughty writers, of late years, 

Have told us, when the Church sheds tears, 
We ought to be the most on guard, 

For, tho 5 she weeps, her heart is hard. 

Now, if we mind, her fervour rises 
In proportion as the prize is 
High or low she has in view ; 

Therefore, the hint is partly true. 

Mind ! when she cuts her frantic capers, 
Proclamations , Taxing Papers, 

On Church-doors are always sticking. 
Symptoms of internal tricking ! 

When Parl’amentary Reform 
Is talk’d of, then she blows a storm ; 

The language of some of the Bishops 
Would disgrace the lowest fish-shops ; 

The “very rev’rend’’ Deans and Chapters 
’Dulge in most unholy raptures; 

Rector, Vicar, Patron, Deacon, 

Smile of Party-Leader seeking, 

Shew a feeling most infuriate, 

Push along: the humble curate. 

Pay him ill, for duty hard, 

To stand the brunt of piquet guard. 


Why need Party-Leader fear, 

With a force like this to cheer 
And help him, any time, to squeeze us 
(All, too, in the name of J - - s!) 

Out of any thing he wishes, 

Whether money, loaves, or fishes ? 

No wonder, when th’ Eclipse came on, 

The Church assum’d a haughty tone; 

She felt no love, nor hope, nor dread 
Of, or for him, yclep’d her Head; 

But, like a prostitute for hire, 

Encourag’d every loose desire. 

Should Party-Leader dread Reform , 

The Church will, orthodox and warm> 

Give out a text, with long oration, 

Shewing Reform means ruination. 

The pop’lar cry ’bout right of suffrage, 

She will reprobate with gruff rage; 

Shew, by text from holy writ, 

That if the plans of Billy Pitt 

Had been permitted ample scope here, 

Taxland would have beat Utopia. 

Should Leader sound the Trump of ^ Treason/” 
Th’ hint is caught by Diocesan ; 


The Church perceives it must be so. 

And that’s enough for her to know. 

Then “ Treason!” echoes from the pulpit, 

Tho’ the audience may not gulp it; 

What then? that’s done which Leader prizes,— 
Men get hang’d at next assizes. 

Clergymen in the Commission ! 

How unbecoming’s their condition ! 

That sad anomaly of late 
Has gained a footing in the state. 

'Tis morally impossible, 

Tho’ Parliament may pass a bill, 

One man can serve both God and Mammon,— 
With the same breath, bless and damn one. 

Have we not, this very day, 

A Cun—gh—m, a “ Parson H-y,” 

An Eth—Is—n “ the ba—dy poet?” 

Instances like these must shew it 
Can’t be done; our holy pastors 
Cannot truly serve two masters. 

The Great Eclipse became the signal, 
With “ the order of the Pigtail;” 

Who made the Church an instrument 
The Taxlanders to circumvent, 

And even dar’d to thrust between 
God and to hurt the Q-n, 


And interrupt the People’s Prayers 
For HER, who now in Glory rears 
Her crested head above them all, 
And sees her base traducers fall. 

3£ttUi of tfje 3£cltnge, 1821 

“ --Nay, then, farewell! 

“'V\e touched the highest point of all my greatness! 
“ And from that full meridian of my gloty, 

“ f haste now to my setting— Shakspcai e. 


<Kotr satic tijf Hmg, 

As intended to be sung in all the Churches and Chapels through¬ 
out TAXLAND, as well as in all private Families who may 
feel thereunto especially moved, next year. 

God save great George our King, 

Long rest our noble King, 

God save the King. 

Raise him from Boreas, 

Happy and glorious, 

But not to worry us, 

God save the King. 

O Lord our God arise, 

Scatter our enemies, 

And make them fall. 

Confound their politics, 

Frustrate their knavish tricks, 

In THEE our hopes we fix, 

God save us all. 

Eternal joys in store 
On him be pleased to pour. 

Long may he rest! 

No more to break our laws, 

No more to give us cause, 

To pray with earnest voice, 

God . . the King. 


O grant that he may see 

Bliss in eternity. 

Always increase! 

May one his sceptre sway. 

When he is gone away, 

Who’ll give us cause to say, 

God save the King. 


God save our noble Queen, 

Long live our gracious Queen, 

God save our Queen. 

f * ' , '*• 

Save her from traitor’s pow’r, 

t , ■ - N B v ' * 

As Thou hast done before. 

Bless her for evermore, 

God save our Queen 1 



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the Poor 





Second Edition . 




- -V?T HI - 





’ Let not the reader imagine that the Author, in imitating 
the style, has done so with the intention of parodying and 
ridiculing a Book which is as necessary for the preservation 
of public morals as is the air for our existence ; he only aims 
at exposing the vices and glaring imperfections of men with 
whom superiority of rank and elevation of station ought to 
be an inducement for practising virtues, the imitation of 
which would confer honour on those, who though beneath 
them in worldly wealth are as much their superiors in moral 
rectitude as is the lordly lion superior to the grovelling 

It is against such a target that the arrow of the satirist is 
with justice directed, for the never-failing shaft of ridicule 
cannot be better employed than while winging its flight to 
the bosom of regal depravity or titled prostitution. 

It is such characters whom we find accusing others of blas¬ 
pheming the doctrines they so grossly violate. It is such 
men who will first point the finger of suspicion and breathe 


theJirst doubt of that purity of mind in others which they 
themselves are so totally deficient of; but when the veil of 
hypocrisy is torn away ; when the polluters stand unmashed; 
when the eye of indignant honour flashes forth upon them 9 
we observe the pretended supporters of religion shrink from 
its glance and seek in the arms of corruption and infamy a 
shield from the scorn of the world and the contempt of pos¬ 

To those who doubt the veracity of this statement y or the # 
purity of his motives y the author begs to apply the motto> 

“ Honi soit qui mal y pense * 3 






A ND it came to pass in the reign of Guelpho, King of 
Bull, there was much murmuring throughout all the 


2. For the King’s son Gorge, which being interpreted in 
the Bullish signifieth u Great Eater and Drinker ,” had done 
evil in the sight of the law, and had committed drunkenness 
and debauchery in high and low places. 

3. And he feasted with Harlots and Adulterers, and listened 
not unto the voice of the people. 

4. Moreover he had dwelt with concubines and evil coun- 
sellors, and had filled the land with abominations and un¬ 
cleanness, and had wasted the treasure of the children of Bull 
in debauchery, and the tradesmen of Bull wept and put on 
sackcloth and ashes, for he was deep in their debt, and 
they mourned that they could not recover it. 

5. And they cried out with loud voices, u Oh, Gorge, 
thou son of Guelpho, pay thy people.” 


6 . But be hearkened not to them neither listened he to their 
supplication, for his heart was hardened against their cries, 
neither had he money wherewith to pay their Bills. 

7. And the children of Bull were wroth, and they marvelled 
*md said one to another, u Wherefore let we this man have 
our merchandize, seeing he will not pay us for the same.” 

8. And they communed together, and each man departed 
to his house. 

9. And it came to pass on the morrow, the King’s son sent 
unto them saying u I pray ye give unto my servant rich rai¬ 
ment and fine linen, so that he may bring them unto me.” 

10. But they answered and said, u Nay, O Prince, thy 
servants cannot do these things, seeing that thou discharges! 
not the bills they bring against thee, for verily only as thou 
payest so canst thou receive.” 

11. And the King’s son was troubled at the words of the 
children of Bull, and he smote his whiskers and cursed them. 

12. And he went up unto his father, and he said unto him, 
a Oh, my father, wherefore is it that I am thus served.” 

13. u For lo and behold, even now I sent unto thy subjects 
for rich raiment and fine linen, and they denied me, saying 
ci Verily, only as thou payest so canst thou receive.” 

14. And the King answered and said, u Oh, Gouge, 
wherefore doest thou that which is evil in their eyes, seeing 
when thou needest they will not lend thee help. Take unto 
thee a wife out of the Princesses of the land, and I, thy father, 
w ill give unto thee ten talents of gold and thirty shekels of 
silver, which thou mayest pay unto them.” 

15. And the King’s son answered and said, 6C Verily, 
father, as thou hast spoken, so wilt thy servant do.” 

16. And he took unto wife Enilorac, the daughter of 
Biiun, and the King, his father, sent unto him ten talents of 
gold and thirty shekels of silver, and he paid unto the chil¬ 
dren of Bull eight shekels of gold, yea, of fine gold, and 


moreover be gave unto them twenty-four shekels of pure sil¬ 
ver ; and they departed each man to his dwelling. 

17. But the Concubines and evil counsellors were wroth 
that he had taken to wife, seeing that he would no longer give 
unto them riches and much treasure, and they murmured 
and said, u Oh Gorge, Gouge, wherefore hast thou for¬ 
saken us.” 

18. And they conspired together to fill his heart with lies, 
and they tempted him, and mocked his wife Enilorac, 
saying, “ She is an adulteress.” 

19. And they made him drunk with wine, and he mocked 
her also, saying, “ She is an Adulteress.” 

20. And Enilorac his wife wept, and said, u Have I 
left the house of my father to dwell with a drunkard and a 
mocker.” And she was sore troubled, for spies and flatterers 
were round about her, and the heart of Gorge, her husband, 
was estranged from the right path. 

21. And the Concubines and evil counsellors assembled 
together, and they spread false reports over the whole land, 
yea over the face of the whole earth, and the children of Bull 
marvelled thereat. 

22. And when the King heard of the false' Reports of the 
Concubines, he called together his counsellors and his judges, 
and the captains of his hosts, and he said unto them “ Search 
ye into the truth of these things.” 

23. And the King’s counsellors and judges, and the Cap¬ 
tains of the hosts assembled together and debated thereon, and 
the concubines brought up false witnesses and perjurers, and 
they swore to that which was evil, and said with loud voices 
u Yea, we swear this did she.” 

24. But the counsellors and judges, and the captains of the 
hosts believed them not, and they went up to the King, and 
said unto him, “ Oh, King, we thy servants have searched 
into these things, and we believe them not.” 


25# And the King answered and said, iC Verily, it joys 
my soul to hear the good tidings ye have brought unto me.” 

26. But the King’s wife Snuffy was wroth against the 
wife of her son, inasmuch as she had written against her, and 
she conspired with the evil counsellors and the concubines, 
and they raised other false reports, and the doors of the 
King’s house were closed against her, neither was she suffered 
to enter therein. 

27. But the friends of the King and the wise men of the 
land raised their voices against it, and they said, 66 Where¬ 
fore is the innocent persecuted, seeing she has done no evil. ” 

28. And there was murmuring over ail the land, and the 
people hated Gorge because he had dared to mock Enilo- 
kac his wife. 

29. And Gorge was drunk with wine every day, from the 
rising of the sun to the going down of the same, and his face 
was bloated with drink, and the tip of his nose was of a blue 

30. But divers of the ladies of Bull followed his footsteps 
because that he could bend his head easier tiian all the lords 
of the land. 

3 1. But the children of Bull laughed at him and despised 
him that he walked in the ways of wickedness and hardened 
his heart against Enilorac his wife. 

End of Chapter 1. 


Oh , what pleasure will abound 

TV hen my wife is laid in ground.— Midas. 

« 'Write me down an ass.’* 


N OW King Guelpho waxed old, and liis sight departed 
from him, and his senses fled, and he was like ter a new- 
born infant. 

2. And the nobles of the land, and the captains of the 
hosts, and all the wise men gathered themselves together, and 
they mourned because of the exceeding weakness of the 


3. And they said unto each other u It is fitting we should 
have another ruler, seeing the King can no longer govern his 
people.” And they appointed Gorge, his son, to reign 
over them. 

4. And they called Him Re-gent, which in the Bullish 
language signifieth 66 No longer blackguard,” and all the 
people prayed he might alter his ways and do that which 
was right. 

5. And he was two score and eight years old when he 
filled the seat of his father, and he wore a wig of many curls. 

6. And he shunned Enilorac his wife and went in unto 
other men’s wives, and he planted horns on the foreheads of 
his counsellors, and bestowed divers orders and disorders 
upon them. 

7. Moreover he budded palaces at much cost, and cut out 
garments of scarlet and garments of blue for the captains of 
the hosts, and the nobles marvelled they had not called him 

8. But Enilorac his wife was sore troubled, for he went 
after harlots and concubines, and he made women of rank 
rank women, and rank women, women of rank. 

9. And of the Ladies of his court he made concubines, 
and of Concubines he made ladies of his court; and his 
court was likened unto a bagnio. 

10. And the Children of Bull marvelled and were sore 

11. And Queen Snuffy his mother died, and she was 
buried in the sepulchre of the princes of Bull. 

12o And she bequeathed unto her beloved son Gorge a 
huge vessel of strong Strasburgh, and tears came into his 

13. And the people put on black garments, and the To- 


bacconists mourned over all the land, and there was a fall in 
the price of snuff of one silver sixpence per pound. 

14. And Enilorac his wife said unto her counsellors 
“ Wherefore should I tarry longer in this land, seeing my 
husband setteth an evil example and debaucheth the morals 
of the people. 

15. Verily I say unto ye, I will leave this land, and travel 
to some far country, for my husband protecteth me not, nei¬ 
ther endeavoureth he to do good unto me.” 

16. And she departed the land, saying, u My husband 
Gorge disregardeth his marriage-vow, neither careth he for 
my welfare.” 

17. And when these words were reported to her husband, 
he was exceedingly rejoiced; and he reded thrice that day, 
and cried out with a loud voice, u She’s a rum ’un,” and he 
drank up a goblet of the brandy of France, and his eyes 
turned in their sockets, and the musicians played u Off she 
goes,” and the grave counsellors of Gorge the Re-gent 
danced merrily before him, and all the court were glad be¬ 
cause he was glad, and they smiled because he smiled. 

18. Rut divers of the wise men of the land murmured and 
said “ why persecuteth he the innocent ?” but the counsellors 
of the Re-gent derided them, and mocked at their sayings. 

19. And the people of the land, yea all the children of 
Bull, cursed him, saying, u Where is thy wife ?” 

20. And he commanded the Captains of his hosts and the 
captains of his chariots to march against the people of Bull, 
and divers of them were slain and hewn in pieces, but the 
murmuring among the children of Bull encreased, and 
there was no peace in all the land. 

21. And his concubines and evil counsellors said unto him 
6 ' Sod of Guelpho, why dost thou not send spies after Enil- 


orac thy wife, seeing she has evil in her eyes, and prac- 
tiseth much wrong, verily we say unto thee, unless this thing 
be done you will have no rest. 

2S. And he did as they spake unto him, and he hired 
Cooks, and Leeches, and Brown Stewarts, or Stewards, and 
divers other wicked ones, to keep watch on Enilorac his 

24. And the spies departed for the land of 7 ell-lye, 
whither Enilorac his wife had gone, and they took with 
them much riches and fine garments to give unto those who 
could see evil in her doings. 

25. For the concubines had said unto them, Yerily should 
ye not see much evil in her, ye shall not be paid, for as ye 
see fault in her so shall ye be rewarded with treasure of ex¬ 
ceeding great value. 

26. And divers of the people of Tell-lye came down to 
meet them, and they gave unto them the fine linen, so that 
they might swear against her. 

27. And they moreover filled a Green Bag with perjuries 
and lewd tales, and they rejoiced exceedingly to think when 
they journeyed back to the land of Bull of the marvellous 
good tidings they should carry with them. 

28. And they assembled together their false witnesses, and 
their chamber-maids, and their valets, and their couriers, and 
their bricklayers, and their plasterers, and their smugglers, 
and their beggars of all denominations, which they had hired 
to speak against Enilorac the wife of Gorge. 

29. And they had them clothed in clean linen and in gar¬ 
ments of cloth, inasmuch as they were without other robes 
than rags, and they feasted them sumptuously every day. 

SO. And when they had spoken unto them and told them 
of what they must speak before the elders of the children of 


Bull they gave unto each man a sum of money that he might 
remember to tell the true lie . 

31. And they sent over a messenger to the land of Bull to 
testify of their coming; and they sealed up the Green Bag 
with an exceeding large seal of red wax, on which was writ¬ 
ten 66 for Hell-done,” or Hell done for, thereby signifying 
they had drained that evil spot to fill with its testimony the 
charges against Enilokac the wife of Gorge. 

32. And they departed with their cargo of filth from the 
land of Tell-lye, and the deadly smell of the vessel remaineth 
to this day. 

End of Chapter IL 



in those days there was great misery over the chil¬ 
dren of Bull, for the curse of the Borough mongers had 
fallen heavy upon them, and the tax-gatherers and the place¬ 
men looked fat and sleek, but the people of Bull looked like 
unto skeletons, and their bodies were formed but of skin and 
bone upon which no flesh was visible. 

2. And they lifted up their voices and wept, for they were 
sore troubled, and they assembled together in large bodies at 
divers places, and they cried out u Oh Gorge, Gorge, look 
down upon us.” 

3. But Gorge answered and said, Verily have I sent unto 
you Sid, the son of Bolus, a mighty doctor, who will purge 
from ye the evil spirit which has fallen upon ye. 

4. Now it came to pass when Sid, the son of Bolus heard 
the people murmur with loud murmurings, he called unto 
him the captains of the King’s hosts and the captains of the 
King’s chariots, and he said unto them, u Verily, I say unto 
ye, hear ye not the loud murmurings of the children of Bull 
against me, and against all the followers of my counsels, and 
see ye not they have rebelled against their ruler, Gorge the 

5. u Verily, I say unto ye order out the King’s chariots 
and the King’s horsemen, and drive out the multitude that 
they may repent them of their evil doings. 

6. And there was a man of the land of Bull, named Harry, 
the son of Hunt. 


7. And he was a great speaker, and he wore a white hat, 
so that he might be known among the children of Bull. 

8. And they called him a Radical , which being inter¬ 
preted signifieth 66 Friend of the People.” 

9. And he assembled the people together at a place called 
Pierrefield, and harangued them there, saying, 

10. u Verily, see ye not the counsellors of the Re-gent are 
Rats, and Leeches, and Bullies, and Doctors, and other ve¬ 
nomous reptiles; yea of the scum of the earth, and moreover 
that they are devouring the loaves and fishes of the people. 

11. And moreover I say unto ye, c( Go up to Gorge the 
Re-gent, and say unto him, Cast out of the land thy evil 
counsellors, for they will bring ruin upon thee and upon thy 
father’s house. 

12. And it came to pass while he was thus speaking the 
King’s horsemen and the King’s chariots came among them 
and scattered them, and hewed divers offhern to pieces. 

13. And <hey laid violent hands on Harry, the son of 
Hunt, and cast him into a dungeon, and shut him up from 
the sight of man. 

14. And divers others of the people were cast into dark 
dens and ill used, and the children of Bull wept bitterly. 

15. And when the Re-gent heard of these transactions he 
said unto Sin, the son of Bolus, 66 Well done, thou good 
and faithful servant, thou hast done these things well.” 

16. But the people put on white hats and crape bands, 
and murmured exceedingly, for they were sore troubled at 
these things. 

17. And Gorge the Re-gent was at a place called Q, when 
Sid the son of Bolus brought the tidings to him, and he was 
receiving many ups and downs there. 

18. And he disregarded the cries of the people and wasted 


his inheritance, neither thought he of Enilorac his wife, 
but filled the King’s palace with horns and uncleanness and 
divers abominations, 

19. And he went down into the King’s kitchen and 
romped with the servants, yea with the housemaid, and the 
chambermaid, and the lusty cook, and he abode there and 
rioted in the fat of the land . 

20. And from Q. he went to Hertford, and from Hertford 
he went to Richmond, and from Richmond he went to divers 
other places and rioted therein. 

21. And the people repented them that they had made 
Gorge Re-gent, and marvelled much at his doings. 

22. But those of the people who thus counselled he caused 
to be hung up, and those that counselled not he sent to a 
distant country, and a trembling came over all the children 
of Bull. 

23. For the land, was filled with mourning, and the trades¬ 
men of Bull had not wherewith to pay their debts, and the 
lawyers and bailiffs were shunned as a plague, for their touch 
was dreaded. 

24. And the counsellors of the Re-gent passed Gagging 
Bills that no man might speak unto his neighbour, and acts 
of Restriction that no man might write unto another, and 
divers other acts which grievously enslaved the people. 

25. And it came to pass that Guelpho, King of Bull, slept 
with his fathers, and Gorge, his son, reigned in his stead. 

End of Chapter III . 


Thou shalt answer for this, tliou Slanderer ! Thy offences be upon thy head.” 

The Spanish Fryar. 


WOW King Gorge was threescore years old when he 
succeeded his father Guelpho. 

2. And lie called together his counsellors, and his minis¬ 
ters, and he said unto them, See ye not I am king in the 
place of Guelpho my father, and that Enilorac my wife 



is become queen of the land, verily I say unto ye, she shall 
not rule over the children of Bui!. 

3. For my heart is hardened against her, and she is loath¬ 
some unto my sight, and the children of Bull attend unto 
her sayings. 

4. Neither shall she be prayed for of the people, nor shall 
her name be heard in the temples of Bull. 

5. And 1 will cause her to be laughed at in the high 
places ; and the priests of the synagogue shall mock at her, 
saying, u We know thee not.” 

6. And Hutch in, the son of Belzebub, rose up and said, 
O king, knowest thou not Enilorac thy wife is a woman 
of mighty spirit, and possesseth a knowledge of pride. 

7. Verily I say unto thee, I will go unto the land of 
Tell-lye, and say unto her, thus speaketh the king : 

8. Inasmuch as thou art the wife of his bosom, and a 
woman of mighty spirit, he will give unto thee fifty thou¬ 
sand coin of gold so thou wilt not set thy foot in the land 
of the children of Bull, for thou art an adultress, and hast 
brought divers plagues upon the people. 

9. And moreover the king sayeth, shouldst thou not fulfil 
his commandment he will bring against thee divers crimes 
and charges, and many witnesses, and will cast thee out of 
the land of Bull, and thou shalt become a wanderer over the 
face of the earth. 

10. And peradventure she will listen unto me, and give 
heed unto my words seeing there is no help for her. 

11. And the King answered and said, Oh Hutchin, thou 
son of Belzebub, thou spe^kest the words of wisdom, and 
tby counsel is good; verily, depart thee for the land of 
Tell-lye, and do unto Enilorac my wife as thou hast 

12. And the King took off his wig with his right hand, and 
waved it three times over his head, crying out with a loud 


voice, huzza ! huzza! huzza! for he rejoiced to cast off 
Enilorac his wife. 

13. And the counsellors of the King 6C grinned horribly;” 
and those that had teeth shewed them, and those that had 
them not made wry faces, and turned up the whites of their 
eyes, and laughed until the going down of the sun. 

14. And the Concubines ot the King cut capers, and 
painted their faces, and dressed themselves in rich garments, 
and went in unto him. 

15. And Hutchin, the son of Belzebub, left the King’s 
house, and went unto the land of Tell-Iye* 

16. Now it came to pass when Enilorac, the wife of 
Gorge, heard that King Guelpho was dead, she said unto 
her servants, u Verily will I depart this land, and enter the 
kingdom of Bull; 

17. a For I am Queen of the land of the children of Bull, 
and I will go and ask of the King my husband mine in¬ 

18. And it chanced as she journeyed along to a town 
called Revod, there came unto her Hutchin the son of Bel¬ 
zebub, with offer of much treasure and rich raiment. 

19. And he said unto her, u This will I give unto thee if 
thou wilt not enter the kingdom of Bull; for verily the King 
thy husband sayeth, thou shaltnot go in. 

20. But Enilorac the Queen laughed at him, saying, 
u Take thee back thy treasure, and thy rich raiment, for I 
go unto the land of the people of Bull to rule over them with 
Gorge my husband.” 

21. And Hutchin, the son of Belzebub, screwed up bis 
phiz, and he scratched his perriwig, and departed slowly, 
for his spirit was sad. 

22. And there came unto Queen Enilorac a man of 
the land of Bull, whose name was Matthew. 

23. And he was a good man, and walked in the ways of 
righteousness, and had the fear of the Laws in his eyes. 


24. And he spoke unto her, saying, “ Oh Queen, fear not 
to lay claim to thine inheritance, neither fear to face thy per¬ 
secutors, seeing the children of Bull have regard to thy 

25. “For I, even Matthew, the son of Timber, will stand 
forth and aid thee against thine enemies, seeing they seek to 
crush thee and bring false witnesses against thee. 

26. “ Moreover there are mighty men, and men of exceed¬ 
ing valour, of the children of Bull, who will scatter thine 
enemies and break their counsels. 

27. “Yea, I say unto thee, Enilorac, the wife of Gorge, 
thou shalt crush thy persecutors. 

28. “ Even Derrydown the son of Triangle, and old Bags 
the son of Parchment, and Cunning the son of Hun, and 
Sid the son of Bolus, and Ilutchin the son of Belzebub, 
shall fall before thee. 

29. “ And Leech the son of Venom, and Giffy the son of 
Brief, and Crop-sly the son of Ratting, and Hurtfor the 
son of Antlers, shall tremble at thy name. 

30. “ And Bill-by-force the son of Cant, and Arthur the 
son of War, and Nicksmouth the son of Sinecure, and Pell- 
mell the son of Lincoln, shall dread thy presence. 

31. “For these are the generations of vipers, who seek to 
sting thee: yea, I say, these are the degenerations of Gorge, 
thy husband.” 

32. And the Queen Enilorac answered and said, verily I 
say unto thee, Matthew the son of Timber, thou hast coun¬ 
selled justly, and walkest in the right way. 

33. And I will abide by thy sayings, and go with thee 
into the land of the children of Bull ; and I will bring peace 
unto the land, and confound my persecutors ; for, lo, I 
know them to be men of deceiving spirits. 

34. And Queen Enilorac the wife of Gorge, and Matthew 
the son of Timber, departed from the city of Ruin, and 
journeyed forth unto the land of Bull. 


35. And when King Gorge, and his counsellors, and his 
concubines, heard of her coming, they were sore afraid. 
And the Cooks were in a stew ; and the Leeches vomited 
forth blood; and the Brown Stewerts, or Stewards, looked ^ 

36. And King Gorge lost his appetite, and he drank up 
five bottles of the wine of Oporto, and it mounted into his 
brain, and he fell flat upon his back under the table of the 
palace of Bull. 

37. And his counsellors, and his concubines, and the 
captains of his hosts carried him up unto his chamber, and 
he snored exceeding loud. 

38. And there was trembling over all the court, for fear 
of Enilorac the wife of Gorge* 

End of Chapter III . 



A ND it came to pass when Queen Enilouac had come 
unto a certain town of Bull, called Revod, there came 
out a large multitude to meet her. 

2. And they shouted with loud voices, saying, “God 
save the Queen!” and they fell upon their faces before her, 
and blessed her. 

3. And divers of the men of Revod, called Excisemen, 
and Placemen, and Sinecurists, lifted up their hands and 
wept, for the spirit of cowardice was come over them, and 
they trembled for their places.' 

4. And when Enilorac the wife of Gorge had come 
unto Nodnol, the chief city of Bull, there came out large 
multitudes to meet her, and they cheered her, crying out 
with loud voices, “ God save the Queen.” 

5. And she went in unto the house of Matthew, and 
abode there ; for the King’s Counsellors had said one to 
another, “ Verily shall she take her rest in the streets of 
Nodnol, and no habitation shall be given her,” 

6. Now when it was told the King, Enilorac his wife 
had come unto Nodnol, he was sore afraid, and his knees 
smote each other, and his teeth chattered, and he broke with 
a candlestick of silver the head of the messenger, saying, 
“ Wherefore makest thou these foul reports.” 

7. And the messenger was sore wounded, and he made 
other foul reports, for great pains were come over him. 

8. And the King waxed wrath, and he threw his wig into 
the fire,_ yea a new wug of fine hair, and it was utterly con* 
sumed, and his head was bald as if he had that day come 
out of his mother’s womb. 


9. And he said unto his Concubines, “ Woe, woe, unto 
ye ; for one is come unto the land in whose eyes ye have 
done much evil. and the Concubines swooned away, and 
fell on the floor, and kicked up their heels with exceeding 
high kicks, and Gorge the King was much moved thereat. 

10. And he said unto his counsellors, and the captains 
of his hosts, u take ye down forthwith the Green Bag, and 
bring it before the elders of the people, and remember ye to 
degrade Enilorac my wife, and utterly drive her out of 
the land.” 

*11. And the King’s counsellors, and the captains of the 
hosts took the Bag, and they carried it before certain elders 
of the people, called in Bullish, the house of Rum-uns, and 
it was an exceeding foul Bag. 

12. And when it was brought unto the elders they mar¬ 
velled much, and they held their noses, and coughed, and 
were sick at heart, for the smell of the bag was great, and it 
brought a pestilence unto the house. 

IS. And they said unto the Counsellors, u Verily this 
Green Bag is a foul bag, and bringeth plague and pestilence, 
and smelleth strong of perjury. 

14. u Therefore we pray ye take it hence, for it hath 
caused divers of our stomachs to turn, and filleth with dis¬ 
order the elders of the people.” 

15. And the counsellors of the King shook their wigs, 
and raised a great cloud, and did as the elders of the people 

16. And they took the Bag and carried it before certain 
other elders of the people, called u the Logs;” and they 
opened the Bag, and he who opened it was struck with a 
spirit of lying, and all that were round about covered their 
faces with their garments, for they were ashamed. 

17. And it came to pass, a certain counsellor of the King 


called the Turncoat-General, made a long speech, saying, 
“ She hath committed adultery.” 

18 . And a counsellor of Enilorac the Queen, named 
Broom, the son of Honor, answered and said, “ She hath 
not done these things.” 

19. And the Turncoat-General called unto one of the 
false-swearers, named Joker, the son of Diabolus, to speak 
against Enilorac the Queen. 

20. And he spoke against her, saying, “ She hath com¬ 
mitted adultery, and debauchery, and lechery, and divers 
other crimes in many places.” 

21. But it came to pass that when Broom, the son of 
Honor, spake unto him, saying, “ What knowest thou?” 
he answered and said, “ Non mi ricordo /” which signifieth 
in Bullish, “ No pay, no speakingand the Logs mar¬ 
velled thereat. 

22. And the Counsellors of the King again called other 
witnesses, and they said unto the Logs, “ thus hath she 

23. But again, when Broom the son of Honor spake unto 
them, saying, “ What* know ye ?” they were confounded, 
and they forgot the true- lie, and their tongues lacked motion, 
and the Counsellors of the King looked like asses, and the 
witnesses looked like asses, and they looked at one another. 

24. But the Logs of the people knew not of this, inas¬ 
much as a deep sleep had come over them, and they heard 
not the false swearers. 

25. For the King had said unto them, “ Verily, I say 
unto ye, None are so deaf as those that will not hear. 

26. “And to all and every one of ye I will give much 
riches and honor if ye dfive Enilorac my wife from the 

27. And they had listened unto the King, and had said, 


u Oh King, we thy servants will do these things, seeing thou 
keepest charge of the loaves and fishes and they had shut 
their eyes that they might not see, and their ears that they 
might not hear, and they had bartered their understanding 
for the gold of Ophaz, and for the rich silks of Omar. 

28. And the King smiled and said, 46 Verily will I have a 
new wig, yea a wig of exceeding richness, seeing they have 
doneu»to Enilorac my wife as I have commanded 3 ” and 
he went unto a certain spot called Q, and he rested there. 

29. And the children of Bull were wroth at the Logs 
that they had done these things; and some among them said, 
44 Yet why marvel we, for lo, there arS divers horned beasts 
among them! 

30. 46 And moreover, these are the men who have plun¬ 
dered the people of Bull, and wasted their inheritance 
and there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth. 

31. But Enilorac the Queen laughed and said , 46 Verily, 
my people fear ye not, for I will confound mine enemies, and 
drive them before me. 

32. 44 For lo, I say unto ye, they have spread a snare for 
their own feet.” 

33. And the people were comforted at the words of 
Enilorac the Queen, and they departed each man to his 
own dwelling. 

End of Chapter V . 



TW'OW it came to pass, the Logs of the kingdom of Bull 
sat on the Green Bag. and examined the witnesses 
thereon for many days. 

S. And the house of the Logs was filled with lies and 
lewd tales, and the witnesses of Enilorac the Queen were 
seized with faintness, for the exceeding foul air of the house 
had come over them; and one of them, Flint the son of Nep¬ 
tune, swooned away, and fell with his back upon the floor 


of the dwelling, for the air of the house of the Logs was 
tainted with infamy, so that no honest man could abide 

3. Nevertheless, divers men called placemen, and sine- 
curists, and pensioners, sat in the house, and the air had no 
effect upon them, neither did it make them of greater foul¬ 
ness than they*were at their coming into the house. 

4. And in these days Gorge the King was at a place, 
called Q, and he rioted there. 

5. And divers of the Logs came down to him, and said 
unto him, 66 Oh King, we thy servants can no longer stand 
by the Green Bag, for its contents have deluged us with 
filth; and, verily, the dogs of the city sniff at us as we walk 

6. u And the women of the land hold their noses as they 
pass, and the children of Bull frown at us, and the scaven¬ 
gers of the city prepare their Brooms wherewith to sweep us 

7. u And verily, Oh King, we say unto thee, divers signs 
and prodigies have come over the land, and the whole king¬ 
dom of Bull beareth witness against us. 

8. “Forloand behold, when the Turncoat-General, thy 
servant, did open to us the Bag, a peal of thunder of mar¬ 
vellous sound descended from the heavens, and filled the 
Logs with fear and trembling. 

9. “ And when Crop-sly the son of Ratting, thy servant, 
did close the assertions of thy servant Giffy, an eclipse came 
over the face of the earth, and darkness was over all the 

10. “ And fear came on all the Logs of thy kingdom, and 
they increased the foulness of the house, and each man did 
unto himself that which he would not his neighbour should 
do unto him.” 


11. And when Gorge the King heard the Logs thus 
speak unto him, he marvelled much. 

12. And he seized by the neck a bottle of the wine of 
Portugal; and he smote the head of Sid, the son of Bolus, 

13. But it affected him not, inasmuch as his head was of 

exceeding thickness; but the bottle was broken, and the wine 
contained therein was spilled on the ground of the palace of 
the King. % 

14. And each man took to his heels and ran, and those that 
had horns went unto the place called Cuckold’s Point, and 
abode there. 

15. And the Green Bag was burned to ashes, and strewed 
in the ditches of Bull; and from its seed there came up a 
plant of great venom, and the people called it Gorge’s-Folly, 
after the Acts of Gorge the King. 

16. And of the Bill of Divorce they made a fool’s cap, 
and they placed it on the head of Gorge, the King, and 
crowned him therewith. 

17. And Derrydown the son of Triangle, was seized with 
madness, and he died, and his body was thrown to the dogs, 
and those that eat of it maketh Irish howls to this day. 

18. And Sid, the son of Bolus, took some of his father’s 
physic, and the physicians of the King applied a Leech to 
his temples, and it drained up his blood, and he withered 
away and was no more seen. 

19. And all the people of Bull were rejoiced, and they 
held great carnivals, and danced thereat merrily. 

20. And the houses of the children of Bull were lighted 
up with tapers of wax, and hung with ribands of white 
colour, and white banners were suspended from the dwellings 
of the people, and there was gladness over all the land. 

21. But divers of the people, called Placemen, and Pen¬ 
sioners, were in utter darkness, and their dwellings were not 


lighted up, neither illuminated they for the victory of 
Enilorac the Queen. 

22. But the tallow-chandlers of Bull, and the oilmen, 
and the glaziers, and divers others of the people were ex¬ 
ceeding wroth thereat, and they assembled together in ex¬ 
ceeding great numbers, and demolished the windows of the 
placemen, yea, they broke divers panes therein. 

23. And Slop the corruptite, and Curry the bribite, and 
Post the obscenite, they utterly destroyed. 

24. And Slop, the corruptite, was sore afraid of the peo¬ 
ple, and he placed at the top of his dwelling tapers of the 
value of nine-penee of the money of Bull. 

25. But the people laughed and said, cc Verily, as he 
doeth this only in fear, his dwelling shall not be safe.” 

26. And they destroyed it at the eleventh hour, and the 
place remaineth in ruins to this day. 

27. And they made large bonfires, and they formed 
figures like unto Old Bags, and Derrydown, and Sid the 
son of Bolus, and like unto the witnesses against Enilorac, 
the Queen, and they cast them into the flames and they were 
utterly consumed. 

28. And a great fear seized all the corrupt of the people of 
Bull, for they feared the day of retribution was at hand. 

29. And they hid themselves in the retired places, and the 
lone dwellings, and showed not their faces among the chil¬ 
dren of Bull. 

30. And the sound of rejoicing was heard from the Land’s 
End even unto the sea shore; and the cities of the children 
of Bull looked like unto cities of fire, and shone with an 
exceeding great brightness. 

31. And the Chronicles of the land which received not 
gold from the starving people were on the side of Enilorac 
the Queen, and the press of the people of Bull was a free 


32. Nevertheless, there were some few of the Chronicles 
which had received the gold of the people, and the riches 
of the people, and had shared of the inheritance of the 
people with the Placemen and the Pensioners, and they 
abused with obscene talk Enilorac the Queen, because 
that they were paid for so doing. 

33. But the people of Bull lighted their fires, and their 
pipes, and their candles, witli the lying Chronicles, so that 
not one was to be seen in all the land. 

34. And these are the names of the Chronicles ot the 
placemen of Bull: 

33. There was the Courier, and the chronicle of Slop, 
and the Post, and other hirelings; and their names were 
handed down to the nations of the earth, with shame, infamy, 
and disgrace. 

End of Chapter VI* 



j^OW Gouge the King had fled unto a place called 
Winsor, and abode there. 

2. For the people of Bull laughed at him, and the Prin¬ 
ters of the land lampooned him, and the wise men of the 
children of Bull were wroth at his doings; and Gorge the 
King dreaded to face their ridicule. 

3. And it came to pass, the Communes of the people as¬ 
sembled together in the month Novemb, to speak of the 
things that had taken place in the land. 

4. And a counsellor of the King, called Headman, rose up 
and said unto the Communes, 66 Verily, thussayeth Enilo- 
rac, the Queen.” 

5. And while he was thus speaking there came a man 
with a black rod, and he tapped thrice at the door of the 
dwelling, and called out with a loud voice, 6C I am come 
from the Logs.” 

6. And immediately the Speaker of the House rose up 
and said unto the Communes, “ Verily, Gorge the King 
saith, ye must depart, and it is meet that we go from the 

7. And he said unto the mace-bearer, <c take ye up the 
mace of the house, and the meeting of the elders of the 
people shall be dissolved.” 

8. And the mace-bearer took up the mace, which was of 
pure gold, and carried it out of the house of the elders. 

9. But the elders rose up, and were wroth; and many 
cried out with loud voices, (6 Shame! shame! verily, the 
day of disgrace is close at hand !” 

10. And they hissed at the Speaker as he went forth, and 


they scoffed at the placemen who went with him, and 
there was much confusion over all the house. 

11. And Bennett, sirnamed the Philanthropist, reviled 
them, saying, “ Ye are vipers unto the bosom that fostered 
ye, and ye have stings which are the stings of the adder.” 

12. And the house of the elders was dispersed, because 
that they had dared to listen to the prayer of the innocent, 
and had felt disgust at the Acts of Gorge, the King. 

13. And the people of Bull said one to the other, u Where 
will these things end ? 

14. “ Are we to be beneath the notice of him who ruleth 
over us with a rod of iron, and will not attend to the voice 
of his people. 

15. cc And are all those who have lent an ear to the com¬ 
plaints of Enilorac the Queen no longer to enter the 
house of the people ?” 

16. And Enilorac the Queen said, u Verily, I will op¬ 
pose them with all my might, and they shall fall before me. 

17. For they are as the wicked, and it is needful they 
should be punished according to the deeds they have per¬ 

18. And the people answered and said, u Oh Queen, as 
thou sayest so will we do unto them.” 

19. Nevertheless, they were sad, and their spirits were 
sore troubled, for they thought a time of trouble was near 
at hand. 

20. And these are the Acts of Gorge, commonly called 
Adonis the Great, King of the children of Bull, and are 
they not written in the Chronicles of Bull, in the book of 
the people. 


J. Turner, Printer, 170, Aldersgate-street, London. 





Published by WILLIAM BENBOW, 2(59, Strand. 
Sold also by the Booksellers. 

teles, 1 jp. Thomas’s Yard, BroadmcaA, 3r ifet. 

“ Graceful of form, by nature taught to please, 

“ Of power to melt the female breast with ease: 

“ His soul, where moral truth spontaneous grew, 

“ No guilty wish, no cruel passion knew.” 


“ What a change.” 

Cottle's Messiah . 

REPLETE with good manners, and just 
come of age, 

KOULI KHAN makes his entry on life’s 
public stage ; 

But soon he’s surrounded by knaves, pimps, 
and sharpers; 

His good manners he drops, his good sense 
he barters; 

Forgets the Instruction receiv’d in his 
youth ; 

Loses sight both at once, of religion and 

To fell dissipation devotes his whole time, 

And in orgies, nocturnal, consumes Till his 

’Till his health quite impair’d, and quite 
empty his purse, 

Owing almost a Million of Debts, which is 

Perplex’d and sore troubled with Duns and 

He curses his Follies, and vows Reformation. 

At length, with much promising, swearing, 
and praying. 

His conduct in future he’d take better care 

By the friends of his Father, a promise was 

If he’d take him a wife, why, his debts 
should be paid: 

So, to have his debts cancell’d, he married a 

And, while honey-moon lasted, he led a new 

“ Say what you please of reformation : 

“ Being not in my vocabulary, 

“ I heed it not; but throw it far behind, 

“ With all the forms of dull domestic life : 

“ And deeply will I drink of all the joys 
“ This world holds out.’’ 

Old Play . 

“ Stung with remorse, o’erwhelm’d with guilty shame, 

“ Conscious that millions execrate their name.” 

Achmed Ardebeilli. 

IT was thought he reform would, when once 
he was wed; 

But, alas! reformation ne’er enter’d his head. 

He return’d in two months, to his old 
course of life; 

Got himself a new mistress; neglected his 
wife ; 

E’en left her, and then, not content with 

Tried to sully her fame by a groundless 
aspersion ; 

To conceal his own Guilt, would have made 
it appear 

That she was unchaste, though so virtuous 
and fair. 

But, her innocence prov’d, she his malice 

And her Judges were men who had truth on 
their side. 

Her accusers, confounded, with shame and 

To their Caverns of Darkness, slunk, con¬ 
scious, away. 


—-“ Oh, it is excellent 

“ To have a Giant’s strength; but it is tyrannous 
“ To use it like a Giant.” 

Measure for Measure. 

“ But Providence himself will intervene 
“ To throw his dark displeasure o’er the scene.” 


STILL intent on his follies, and bent upon 

Disregarding instruction, neglecting advice; 
KOULI KHAN, now forgetting his rank 
and his name. 

Devises new methods to publish his shame ; 

And the Woman he vow’d to love and 

Treats with scorn and contempt, and in¬ 
creasing neglect. 

The Child of her bosom, away from her 

In spite of her earnest entreaties and prayers; 

And, by mean machinations, compels her to 

Unprotected, a wanderer, far from her home; 

Pursues her with Spies, to insult and oppress 

And exults in the schemes that were form’d 
to distress her. 

“ To the lascivious pipe and wanton song, 

“ That charm down fear, they frolic it along, 

“ With mad rapidity and unconcern.” 


HE thus having treated the wife he should 

And driven her forth, like an outcast, to 

Adds insult to insult, and takes to caress. 

In her place, to console him, a fat M—ch— 

—ss ; 

With whom, while indulging in amorous 

Like Pindar’s (< sweet singers” thus carols 

I’ve conquer’d, I’ve conquer’d, 

The Day is my own ; 

She whom I abhorr’d, is to 
Foreign parts gone. 

There, there, let her wander. 

Forsaken, forlorn. 

And to Persia’s fair shores 
Mav she never return. 

Come Doctor, Come Derry, 

Come Spouter, draw near. 

Ye adepts in vice. 

To a debauchee dear; 

What titles, what honours, 

Oh! dear to my shame ; 

Say, what shall I bestow ? 

You have only to name. 

Well, we’ve manag’d it neatly, 

We’ve shewn her some sport; 

Tho’ she prov’d she was virtuous, 

We drove her from C-1. 

And she sent forth. 

To wander like an outcast 
From her home: 

And further more than this. 

Were Spies to watch her. 

But things are chang’d, I am not what I was, 

No more is she. 

She has new rights acquir’d, and will no doubt 
Dare to assert them. 

This must not be permitted : 

For, should she land once more 
On this our coast. 

The Swinish Multitude would hail her Q—n; 
And there’s a “ stubborn virtue” in those wretches 
That wont be tamper’d with. 

Much more on this important subject I could say 
Were it expedient; 

But for the present 

I pray you let this Green Bag 
For me speak ; 

In it you will find ample information. 

And now, dear friends, I pray ye to assist me 
In this my perilous situation : 

And in return. I’ll give ye some old Garters, 

Or change your names. 

That it may not be known 
What once ye were. 

“ Good name in man and woman, dear my lord, 

“Is the immediate jewel of their souls : 

“Who steals my purse, steals trash; ’tis something, nothing; 

“ ’Twas mine, ’tis his, and has been slave to thousands; 

“But he that filches from me my good name, 

“Robs me of that, which not enriches him, 

“And makes me poor indeed.” Othello. 

“ Ask you, why w—s live more belov’d than wives, 

“ Why weeping virtue exil’d, flattery thrives, 

“ Why mad for Pensions, Britons, young and old, 

“ Adore base Ministers, those Calves of Gold.” 

Joseph War ton. 

“ Where look for succour ? where, but up to thee, 

“ Almighty Father.” Porteus. 

AND now much debate rose amongst the 

What was best to be done with the wife of 
the Khan. 

The Mufti, who look’d for preferment and 

Her, call’d Unbeliever, so would not pray for 

And some who were fond of the loaves and 
the fishes, 

Her head off would cut, to increase their 
own riches; 

While others consider’d ’twould be the best 

To please KOULI KHAN, and procure a 

But, alas! by the laws of the Persians, 
’twas said. 

They could grant no di--ce, neither cut 

off her head ; 

’Twas therefore resolv’d, by the tools of the 

Some slight alteration to make in their plan ; 

To compromise with her, grant her a Dou¬ 

To forego her own title for that of a Wh—e. 

The proposals with just indignation were 

And this answer directly return’d, it is said; 

“ Tell the Khan, that his wife, though he 
dares to disown her, 

Will perish before she will live in dis¬ 
honour ; 

“ That her motto, whate’er he may do in 

“ Of her cause, shall be always, for God and 
her Right; 

(C That her honour she prizes too highly to 

“ And in aid of her rights will exert herself 

“ Nay, further, to prove and make good her 

She’ll defend both the one and the other 
in person ; 

i( And though KOULI KHAN and his 
Courtiers reject her, 

6i Still truth’s on her side, and the laws will 
protect her.” 

Where the midnight assassin, the vilest of 

May receive absolution, and murder again ; 

Where all crimes may be pardon’d, and 
money will buy 

A full dispensation to perjure and lie. 

Here the special commissioners lurk all to 

Informers and witnesses just to their mind; 

evidence cull, from no one knows 
w 7 ho, 

Seal it up in Green Bags, and indorse it as 

“ Like a fat squab upon a Chinese fan: 

“ He snufts far off th’ anticipated joy 


“ My Lords, I thank you for your great opinion ; 

“ You’ll tell me, p’rhaps, I’ve only lost one game ; 

“And bid me try another — for the rubber.” 

Peter Pindar. 

HIS Sire expires, and KOULI KHAN 
Becomes the Chieftain of his Clan; 

But, as new honours round him rise, 
New schemes to be divorc’d he tries ; 

For she, the object of his hate. 

Has claims upon his new estate ; 

Therefore immediate KOULI KHAN 
Assembles round him his Divan, 

And with much courtesy and grace, 

He thus makes known to them his case. 

MOST noble Persians! Pillars of the State! 

I thank ye all 
For this attendance ; 

And crave your kind attention 
To what I am about to mention. 

I hold ye all my friends. 

And likewise know — 

That upon all occasions. 

You’ve seconded my inclinations. 

’Twas kind in ye to do it-*— 

And, for the same, 

Receive my hearty thanks. 

Your predecessors, fourscore years ago. 
When I was sadly deep in debt. 

For at that time 

At such a rate, 

I gold and silver squander’d, 

That had I had the world 
For my estate, 

I should have spent it all. 

Free soul, say you. 

And so in faith I was. 

And you shall find me so 
Ere I have done. 

You then must know, most noble princes, 

Your predecessors. 

They strain’d a point or two and set me free 
From my oppressors. 

Hard work they had, upon my faith ’tis true. 
And vei-y dirty too; 

But yet they brought me through 
On one condition. 

That I should marrv 


C -of B-. 

’Twas a sad dose! 

And almost made me sick. 

She virtuous was and fair, but yet for all 
I did not like her: 

For I had certain strange propensities 

To stolen waters, eating bread in seci*et, 
And v— was so inherent in my nature, 

That had she been 

Ten thousand times more fair and chaste 
Than e’er was woman, 

I would have left the bridal Bed untouch’d, 

To revel in the joys the s—s afford. 

You know what schemes were tried 
To blast her fame ; 

And though she foil’d them 

And preserv’d her name; 

Her darling was torn from her; 

Of her Bairn we bereav’d her. 
Then sent her to roam. 
Where we’ve Spies and Informers 
As well as at home. 

Now H-d, dear H-d, 

She’s gone far away ; 

In pleasures we’ll revel. 

For who shall say nay ? 

And in love and in mirth 
Forget ev’ry care. 

Nor Y~rm—th, nor Fame’s mouth. 
Nor any mouth fear. 

“ Our Princess, our favourite’s entomb’d 
“ The hope of our nation is gone; 

“ A rose in our garden had bloom’d, 

* £ But was pluck’d in its earliest dawn.” 


“ And all Israel mourn’d.” 

Bible . 

His Daughter dies, the fairest of the fair, 
But yet his bosom’s unoppress’d with care; 
He drinks and revels just as heretofore. 

And runs the same mad courses o’er and o’er. 
Oft, of Di—ce, revolving some new schemes. 
He nightly of another help-mate dreams. 

Pleas’d with the thought, yet somewhat still 
in doubt. 

How such a project might be brought about, 
He forthwith calls a grand Divan, to try 
On their support how far he may rely ; 

And, having found them ready to his mind. 
And to his secret purposes inclin’d. 

He orders gives, in furtherance of his plan, 
To send a special mission to Mi—n. 

-- “ They grasp the gold: 

,£ And for such trash will swear away the truth 
" To d—n the innocent”- 

Selector , 

“ The first address they made beyond the seas, 
lt They’re perjur’d in the most intense degrees ; 

“ And without scruple, for the time to come, 
i( May swear to all the Kings in Christendom.” 

De Foe, 

THIS said special mission is now gone abroad, 
To the land of hypocrisy, lying, and fraud ; 

“ Take any shape but that, and my firm nerves 
“ Shall never tremble.” 

Shakspeare’s Macbeth . 

He stands aghast.” 

Achmed . 

“ Angels and ministers of grace defend us! 
ei Be thou a spirit of health, or goblin damn’d ; 

“ Bring with thee airs from Heav’n, or blasts from Hell.” 
“ Oh horrible! oh horrible! most horrible!” 


THIS answer to Kouli immediately flew. 
Which caused consternation in him and his 


But ere they had time to recover their fright, 

To wipe Kouli clean, and put matters to 

To their utter dismay his Sultana appear’d, 

And insisted her cause should be speedily 

That her fame they’d traduc’d, while she 
was from home. 

And now for redress at their hands she was 

That they’d dar’d to insult her for some 
private ends; 

But, now, for such insult, she demanded 

They star’d on each other, for what could 
they do ? 

Well knowing the whole she asserted was 
true ; 

But yet, if they forfeited Kouli’s good graces, 

They would lose all their pensions, and like¬ 
wise their places ; 

So they thought ’twould be best, since she’d 
take no denial, 

From the guts of the Green Bag to bring 
her to trial; 

And in the mean time, as a matter of course. 

Prepare a Black B--1 — for to ground a 

Thomas VY«rd, JtroufaMd* ftrliii 



A pattern fit for modern knights 
To copy out in frays and fights, 

Like those that a whole street do raze , 

To build a palace in the place. 

They never care how many others 
They kill, without regard of mothers, 

Or wives, or children, so they can 
Make up some fierce, dead doing man, 

Compos’d of many ingredient valours, 

Just like the manhood of nine tailorsHudibras. 







The Scene of this Poem is laid in the ancient Island 
of Laputa: the Story of the Hydra and that of Andro¬ 
meda are taken from Ovid’s Metamorphoses. The cha¬ 
racters and other circumstances are, of course, chimerical. 

The Author of 


4< She’s an excellent sweet lady ; and 
“ Out of all suspicion she is virtuous.” 

Much ado about Nothing. 





When Hum the mighty’s reign was only young. 
And old Laputa’s sons “ Ca ira ” sung; 

When Liberty , the goddess of the brave, 
Appear’d—insulted Innocence to save; 

When Combination raised its traitor-head, 
Regardless of the living or the dead; 

When fell Conspiracy and Subornation 
Threaten’d Laputa’s Q- n with desolation;— 



Forth march’d, to aid her in such great distress, 
The uncorrupted— patriotic press; 

That terror of corruption ’mongst the great, 
That sanctified Palladium of the state. 

"When monstrous Tyranny had took the lead, 
And caused Laputa’s patriots to bleed;— 

Then did this mighty Hercules upraise 
Its club against the Hydra* of our days. 

And, with well-aim’d and oft-repeated blows, 
The speckled monster Tyranny o’erthrows. 

Thus didf Alcmenas son, by ardour led, 
Deprive the serpent of each venom’d head; 
When, in the place of one that fell to earth, 

The blood corrupted to a pair gave birth, 

And thus the hero’s labours would in vain 
To conquer the infernal reptile been ; 

Had not another arm, with burning blade, 

Sear’d all the wounds which Hercules had made 
The scaly monster thus the country’s pest 
Now falls at once—unable to resist. 

Thus, in Laputa’s land, a Hydra rear’d 
Its sevenfold head, —by all Laputa fear’d, 

* Ovid’s Metamorphoses, 
t Ibid. 


And had for years upon the people prey’d, 

And havoc in Laputa’s land had made; 

A harden’d tyrant kept the hellish beast 
Upon the vitals of the state to feast— 

And smiled to see the carnage and the waste. 

Now’ shall the Muse describe each various head 
Of this fell reptile, old Laputa’s dread, 

That, by the powerful iEgis* of the just 
And honest press, lies grov’ling in the dust. 

The head that seem’d the chief appear’d to wear 
A monstrous load of defunct mortal hair, 

That, stolen from the grave—cut from the dead, 
Adds to the terror of the frightful head. 

The cheeks—wide bloated—seem’d with venom 

The eyes were sunk, and motionless, and dull; 
Tremendous whiskers cover’d half the face; 
Thaty^ce—a terror to the human race! 

Capacious dewlaps from his chin proceeds, 

Like some fierce bull that in the meadow feeds; 

* Ttie Gorgon’s head, placed on the shield of Minerva, 
which petrified all the opponents of that goddess. 


And from his throat he darts both stings of death, 
And fumes of brandy from his tainted breath ; 

On his fork'd front, between his ample ears, 

The sentence —PERJURY, in fire, appears; 
And on the forehead, darken’d by a Frown, 

Was placed, unsteady, a disjointed Crown. 

The next in order, tho’ not placed so high, 
Appear’d a round fat head with artful eye; 

A sort of self-contentment fill’d each cheek, 
Unmeaning, though luxurious, plump, and sleek; 
Connected with its brother head it seems, 
Composed of pipe-clay and devoid of brains. 

And on its brow, in letters large and dark, 

“ Ten thousand pounds ” was mark’d, and “ Mis¬ 
tress C - 

Some other characters were seen display’d, 

“ Dunkirk ,” “ The Netherlands, ” and “ retro¬ 
grade, ” 

Like modern standards blazon’d to our view 
With Egypt, Badajos, or Waterloo. 

And then a head the worst of all its race, 

To R-ty and honour, thou disgrace. 


“ Stand forth, thou slanderer,” and tell ns why 
From thee proceeds each diabolic lie ? 

Was it for thee, thou thing of no repute, 

To slander fame that thou could’st not refute ? 
Thou r——1 nothingness—the nation’s shame ; 
Thou patch’d-up hypocrite —without a name ; 
Blush, if thou yet canst blush, and bring to 

Thy conduct to poorJ-n, base, unkind; 

Who stripp’d by thee of all her hard-earn d store, 
Was left to perish on a foreign shore. 

Think but of her, and go, thou dregs of man, 

** To supper, with what appetite you can.” 

Next came a head with a tremendous beak, 

Like Julius Caesar’s —made for nose’s sake ; 

A long thin pair of jaws and whistling mouth 
Blew either east , or west, or north, or south , 

Just as the master-head with fury burn’d, 

Its true appendix, this—incessant turn’d; 

And on the forehead, it these mottoes wore, 

“ Seringapatam,” “ the Thirty-third,” “ Mysore;” 



On either side, where other beasts have ears, 

A sabre and a bayonet appears, v 

That caused Laputa’s infants many fears. j 

Next came a visage, death-like, devilish vile, 
Upon its front there seem’d a hellish smile, 

A face that great Lavater would have given 
To one accurst of men , condemn’d of heaven; 

In horrid lines upon his pallid face 

Was wrote “ destruction to the human race'' 

And on his felon brow impress’d there was 
“ Triangle " wrote in characters of brass ; 

While hissing from his mouth there issued forth 
Snakes, toads, and pestilence to plague the earth. 

Next came a head cadaverous and wan. 

The likeness of some executed man, 

Pale, thin, unearthy, wrinkled, and morose, 

In every feature spoke a latent curse, 

“ Physic" upon its sickly front was wrote, 

But all the rest was clouded bv a blot , 

Yet might be trac’d in letters legible, 

“ Ratsbane." “ The Doctor,” “ politics,” and 
“ pill.” 


But from the monster’s mouth a deluge fell. 

Of every mischief conjur’d out of hell; 

War, desolation, tyranny, taxation, 

Gaols, gags, the gallows, fines, and transportation, 
And all the evils of Laputa’s nation. 

Last of the serpent though not least was seen. 
An execrable head with optics green. 
Something inexplicably strange and big 
It wore, not much unlike a judge’s wig, 

That cover’d seem’d with divers scraps of law', 
To keep Laputa’s infidels in awe. 

Ambitious care upon this wrinkled head, 

In deep trac’d characters might plain be read ; 
While in italics, “ rank conspiracy” 

In letters wrote in blood one plain could see. 
As turn’d the other heads of the fell beast, 

So this assimilated with the rest. 

All to a pondrous trunk connected were, 

That in the heads deformity did share 
Three long projecting tails enlarg’d its size, 

And nurture to the monster’s heads supplies 
Its horrid wings outstretching far behind, 
Seem’d to extend to east and western Ind, 

And scarce by limitation were confin’d ; 


Its back with massy scales was cover’d o’er. 

Like alligator on the Ganges’ shore; 

On each alternate scale depicted were 
Religion, bigotry, ambition, war. 

Here would a mitre to the eye display 

The church that o’er Laputa’s land had sway ; 

There would, as if portray’d with artist's care, 

A sporting bishop at a hunt appear, 

Or here a Jat incumbent who had given 
His conscience to the state, to trade with heaven. 
The starving curate, with a helpless brood 
Of naked infants destitute of food, 

Is represented with correctness here ; 

He prays, and starves on twenty pounds a year. 
While his superior, who a mitre crowns, 

Drinks, swears, a tallyhoing joins the hounds. 

Here on another scale a soldier stood, 

Encas’d-in steel, his shield defac’d with blood; 
And underneath the fetlocks of his steed, 

Laputa’s females were perceiv'd to bleed, > 

A demon parson* urges on the deed ; 3 

No allusion to the Manchester magistrates ! 


And here again appear on different scales. 

The woeful tenants of Laputas gaols ; 

11-r’s dungeons and each dreary cell. 

Explains where H—t or W—sel—y’s doom’d to 

Laputa’s people, but in vain, complains, 

Of her defenders thus consign’d to chains; 

And prays some power supreme would quickly^ 
send w 

Some gallant chief their miseries to end, f 

And from the Hydra’s fangs their rights defend.^/ 

Next, might be trac’d plain to the observation, 
Laputa’s sailors dying by starvation ; 

And merchants, and mechanics who have spent 
Their all upon Laputa’s government. 

On other folds of his embattled skin, 

As horrid outwards, as it was within, 

The monster Hydra, next to view displays 
Portraits of those who live at home at ease ; 
Who, their own luxuries to make secure, 
Deprive of every hope Laputa’s poor. 


Of sinecurists who are term’d the great, 

That live upon vitals of the state; 

Thro’ all the alphabet each scale could show' 

The author of Laputa’s wrongs and woe. 

Who willing to support Hum's sinful court. 

The Hydra and his cruelties support. 

Should we our pages with their titles waste, 

From Alpha to Omega they would last; 

Still shall the muse to times immortal stream, 
Convey each sinecurist’s rank and name. 

The A’s contain of P--s, a various herd 

Of titled things who merit no reward. 

First A--le from the land of sulphur, which 

Records his ancestor that cur’d the itch ; 

Who, w'hen old Scotia of all trees did lack, 
Erected posts to scratch each highland back! 
Next B—sf—d whose arms with a bend sinister* 
Immortal made himself when near Cape Finisterre, 
And from Laputa’s land to southern sea, 

Hum's compliments to Hog did late convey 
That thing that from his kingdom ran away. 

Vide the Herald's college. 


Then C—ng—in, of cuckolds most illustrious, 
He for his own dishonour most industrious, 
Whose gilded horns , like stags, on high erected, 
He wears with pride—by Hum he is protected; 
Yet every where the noble l — d appears 
He meets Laputa’s most contemptuous sneers. 
But shall my Muse decline to eulogize 
L—d D—hm—re, who C —h —e employs ; 

In all the dirty work/ his L—dsh—p’s seen 
Hum to support, and mortify the Q—n. 

Of E-n or Old Bags enough we’ve said,— 

For all about him see the Hydra's head .— 

To Hum he’s loyal, for, ’tis very clear, 

By Hum he gets ten thousand pounds a year; 
For tzvice as much he’d sacrifice king Hum, 

And would deny his God for half the sum. 

Then Ex-r, the execrated, curst, 

The scandal of the Church, of men the worst, 
No greater knave than he since the creation, 

He who a rope deserv’d receives translation ,* 
And F—lm—h, and the other F’s who share 
In Hum's munificence and princely care; 

The G —nth—me who, of prowess over town, 
In pugilistic contests seeks renown, 


Who once, because he treated him uncivil, 

Sent to the shades below a—printer’s devil ! # 

And H— —t, whose cornuted brow discovers 
His lady on the list of Hum’s fair lovers; 

And H-n, who at the Pyramids 

Performed such glorious and heroic deeds, 

But soil'd his laurels by conveying over 
A certain message from the port of Dover; 

And J—sy and his wife, whose slanderous tongues 
First caus’d Laputa’s Q—n such grievous wrongs; 
And K—y—n, on whose shield a bag and brief 
Should of armorial ensigns be the chief, 

And L—der—le, that tool of ministry, 

A foe to old Laputa’s liberty, 

A slave to office, while his ragged cousins 
Are quarter’d on Laputa’s cash by dozens ; 

And L—r—k from land of Murphies come, 

All noise and emptiness, a perfect drum, 

* His L—d~-p, in a moment of great irritability, entered a 
certain printing-office, and, by mistake, taking the printers 
devil for a Black Dwarf, precipitated him, the said devil, down 
sundry flights of steps into the cellar. 


Anxious to get among the loaves and fishes, 

He would indulge king Hum in all his wishes. 

Next, L-p—1, Laputa’s purse-string lord, 

Who, in the place of cash, deserves a cord ; 
And M—v—le, of Laputa’s fleet the chief, 

A hopeful scion of a northern thief, 

Who from the hills of Scotia, to get rich, 

Bent his way southzvard with a kelted b--h ; 

Then booed, and in the Treas’ry pok’d his nose, 
And to a coronet and title rose.— 

He died ; for even he must boo to fate, 

And left his present L—d—p to the state. 

Then N-b, who, with brandy-bloated face, 

Does with nine thousand pounds a mitre grace . 
And O-f—d ; he descended from Sir Bob, 

Who fled when he the Treasury did rob, 

And left Laputa for the land of frogs, 

The usual refuge for Laputa’s rogues. 

Then P-t--d, who a ducal coronet 

Sports midst of this most curs’d illustrious set. 
And Q—nsb—y, so loyal and so silly, 

The elve of the Old Duke of Piccadilly. 

Next comes the man of matrimonial fame, 

--he by title,-by name, 



Who, sensitive of injuries, complex, 

Visits his rancour upon all the sex. 

And S-1, whose poverty, and love of gain, 

And orders, caught the eye of L—y Vane; 

Thus beauty, youth, and fascinating charms 
Must perish in a dull old dotard’s arms. 

The mini—r, by C-h selected. 

That slights the Q—n he ought to have protected, 
To gain of Hum his impotent support, 

A frail retainer of a rotten court. 

Next T-gt—n, attach’d to Hum the k—g, 

Related to the brave but hapless B—g, > 

Whose execution made Laputa ring. ' 

Then V—1—m and Rajah W-ley, 

Who in Hindostan mimick'd maj—ty, 

Until Mahometans and Hindoos thought 
Some mighty monarch they by luck had caught, 
But kingship he appeared to act so vilely, 

He fill’d his purse and left the country slily. 

Last of the alphabet, tho’ very odd, 

Is Y—k, the oily mitred man of God ; 

Who, for some sermons preach’d within the year, 
Twenty-three thousand sacred pounds does clear; 


Who, for a sum so great would not conspire 
For Hum to grant him all he can require ? 

Who, for a sum so great, would not remove 
All obstacles from Hum’s forbidden love ? 

And put the church’s potent powers in force 
To gain, or right or wrong, the wish’d divorce. 
Thus various look’d the Hydra’s scaly hide, 

That monster that had liberty destroyed ; 

When, to indulge its greedy appetite, 

Laputa’s Q—n by Hum’s malicious spite > 

Was destin’d for its diabolic bite. 

Forth thro’ Laputa’s land was echoed wide 
How fair Laputa’s Q—n would be destroy’d ; 
And Hum and his adherents fix’d the day 
To give her to the Hydra for his prey. 

The day arrives—the circus is prepar’d, 

Hum with his myrmidons the pleasure shar’d, 

Anticipating that his hated wife 

Soon to the monster would resign her life. 

The scaly monster slowly onward crawls 

Its loathsome bulk unto Saint St-n’s walls, 

And, with infernal vengeance in its eyes, 

Belch’d forth that venom’d breath which fame 


Too soon appear’d the victim of the scene, 
Laputa’s persecuted hapless Q —n, 

On which the monster rais’d each hideous neck, 
The object of malevolence to strike.— 

So was Andromeda,* in ancient days. 

Expos’d to the fell monster of the seas, 

Till gallant Perseus, with his flaming sword. 

The princess to her liberty restor’d ; 

So fair Laputa’s Q—n exposed stood, 

Till forward march’d the PATRIOTIC W——D; 
Arm’d for the fight, the sword, of truth he bore, 
A plume, tri-coloured, in his helm he wore, 

And on his shield, rich blazon’d, one might see, 
Laputa’s badge, “ the tree of Liberty.” 

Of innocence the champion and the friend. 

He bore upon his shield the word “ DEFEND.” 
His club , that tyrant chains had often broke, 

Was constitutional and heart of oak. 

Him, when the monster saw, each hellish head 
Back from the champion drew with mortal dread. 

But W-d, undaunted, threw himself between 

The cursed Hydra and the helpless Q—n. 

* Vide Ovid. 


Next in the ranks, to combat r-1 crimes. 

To shield the innocent, appear’d THE TIMES 1 
Gods ! with what fine effect he used his pen 
Against those vile contaminated men ; 

How vice and tyranny with terror crouch’d 

When by the honest pen of B-s they’re touch’d. 

How L—ds and demi-reps with horror dread 
Lest in the “ Times''’ their infamy be read, > 
And blazon’d to the world they stand display’d;-' 
How courtly parasite and pension’d p—r 
The satire of the “ Times ” with justice fear, 

Each mitred hypocrite and ermin knave 
Their characters and virtues here perceive 
Honour her snow-xvhite robe unsullied finds, 

For Satire never reaches virtuous minds. 

Next came the “ Chronicle ,” freedom’s own guard, 

The whiggish pride of P-y his reward, 

Close to the “ Times ” he takes a powerful place 
The foes of freedom from the land to chase; 

His rapid spear upon the Hydra casts, 

And all attempts at persecution blasts; 

Then in the air his victor’s flag was seen, 
Inscrib’d, “ Laputa’s Liberty and Q—n.” 


Next came the “ Trailer,” arm’d by T-n’s pen, 

The mentor he of morals and of men. 

And, as a sail delights the shipwreck'd tar, 

So to the Q—n appear’d the friendly “ Star," 
That, to her enemies’ eternal shame, 

Beam’d brightest lustre on her spotless fame! 
You, R——tson and T—11—h have to boast 
In Caroline’s defence yourselves a host! 

And by thee, F—kl—d, praises are deserv’d, 
Who have not from the cause of justice swerv’d, 
But, in the “ Morning Advertiser's ” page, 
Enlists, for justice sake, all ranks and age, 

And to the honest tradesman’s mind convey’d 
The fact that tyrants should not be obeyed, 

And to each hardy working Briton stated 
That sacred justice must not be defeated, 

Or that, to serve king Hum's malicious spleen, 
No perjur’d villains should insult their Q—n. 

H—t, shall thy name and services be lost, 

That can such patriotic efforts boast, 

No ; when the tools of ministry are down, 

Those reptiles who have undermin’d the c-n, 


When fell disgrace and scandal is their lot, 

Thy merit, Leigh, shall never be forgot ; 

But when they fall who by corruption thrive 
H—t and the “ Examiner ” shall still survive! 

Next, to support the cause of female truth, 
Appears a sage—in mind, in years—a youth ; 

For vice—tho’ dignified, rank —without worth, 

A dread opponent meets in the “ Black Dwarf. 
Hail goddess Nature ! thou that shedd’st on earth 
Thy attributes, without regard to birth, 

To thee we owe the tribute justly due, 

For W - rs pen to thus chastise the crew. 

Next to this son of freedom, we must place 
The classic free reporters of the press. 

C - k and those, who, with an honest zeal, 

Support with all their might the common weal. 
Thee, goddess Liberty, thee they adore, 

And for Laputa’s soil thy aid implore ; 

And now, to succour Caroline’s distress, 1 

Comes, in the ranks, the gallant “ British Press,” > 
That does the loyalty of L——e express. 3 


And C-y, thou, who gallantly did lead 

The “ Statesman' columns to misfortune’s aid, 
Accept the muse’s tribute, and his mite, 

Spite of the villains, or the Hydra's spite. 

Far different thou, the Statesman that we praise ,S 
To low intriguing knaves that Hum can raise, V 
The dregs and infamy of modern days. ; 

And, next in order, to protect the good 

And virtuous Q-n, undaunted Thel—1 stood, 

And, in the “ Champion's ” energetic page, 
Exposed the vices of the present age; 

Portray’d of - - 1 crimes, each sickly feature. 

And held Truth's mirror up to human nature. 
ByC ■ son’s aid assisted sallied forth, 

The guardians they of virtue and of worth. 
These, when the monster saw for combat arm’d, 
His crest he rears ; but, far from being alarm’d, 
The heroes on the dreadful Hydra prest, 

And wound the monster in its savage breast; 
Who, belching flames from his infernal throats, 
Upon the r- 1 victim madly gloats; 

Yet did the powerful iEgis of the state 
Protect the P-ss from her threaten’d fate. 


Now bruised and mangled by great Freedom’s 

A carcase scarce alive the monster shows. 

When from its venom’d blood was seen to rise 
A swarm of hirelings, perjurers, and spies, > 
The substance of the tools that Hum employs, j 
As erst by Hercules, the Hydra’s blood, 

When shed, produced a serpent or a toad; 

So did the grizly monster’s venom’d gore 
Monsters produce, his vigour to restore; 

And first appear’d a reptile, slimy , black ; 

That seem’d the sons of Freedom to attack ; 

A hellish, fend-likeform the brute put on, 
Something between a devil and a man, 

And, with its poisonous breath, it blew upon 

The spotless virtue of Laputa’s Q-n. 

But vain was all the villain-reptile’s arts, 

For Truth to Caroline new strength imparts ; 

For, ere the poison’d venom reach’d the Q-n, 

Crush’d underneath her feet the snake was seen ; 
And, writhing in the wretched pangs of death, 
The reptile " Courier ” ends its hellish breath. 
Next, from the monster’s blood, was seen to rise 
The essence of malignity and lies, 



Of fulsome flattery on Hum bestowed, 

Of slander on the virtuous and the good, 

A horrid, vile, misshapen thing it was, 

That thus asserted the d-n’d Hydra’s cause; 

And on its felon front, o’ercast by crimes, 

“ Slop ” might be read, and infamous “ New - 

The reptile for a moment lifts its head, 

Then sinks, by Freedom’s blow, among the dead; 
And now a frightful spectre seems to rise, 

That the envenom’d blood with life supplies; 

The diabolic brute gives up the ghost— 

And down to Hell is sent the “ M- - g Post? 

Now to assist fair Freedom and the cause 
Of old Laputa’s liberty and laws; 

Appears an honest band of patriot hearts, 

Who courage to Laputa’s Q-n imparts— > 

And then transfix’d the Hydra with their darts. 3 

A standard—“ Magna Charta and the Q - n 

They bore in front;—next Cob-t’s flag was 


Whose powerful pen, with attic satire arm’d, 

The Hydra and his sycophants alarm’d ; 


' hose pointed arrows made the monster feel 
A d penetrate his scales—tho’ made of steel. 
Then came the humble Muse, to lend a blow 
And help the cursed Hydra to o’erthrow ; 

And with the serpent all who contravene 
Laputa’s liberty or wrong the Q-——n. 

And, here, before just Heaven, he humbly vows 
The cause of Freedom ever to espouse. 

Then followed, to effect the monster’s end, 

Each foe to tyranny and freedom’s friend; 

Br - m and Den - -n in themselves a host, 

Armed each by truth, each steady at his post. 

Hob - e the terror of the parasites, 

The brave defender of Laputa's rights; 

And hoary Ers——e, old in freedom’s cause, 

The champion he of old Laputa’s laws. 

Then L — sd — n, G — -y, and H- — U—d, who arose, A 
The Hydra and his party to oppose, > 

And gave the monster well directed blows. j 
Thus felled to earth the daemon reptile lies, 

And breathing out its venom basely dies. 

But soon as Hum perceived the contest lost, 

His views overthrown, himself declared unjust; 


His brow with vengeance black beneath 

Cast on Laputa’s land a 


And threat’ned all Laputa’s sons with ire, 

Who did not ’gainst his virtuous wife conspire. 
Impotent threat—Laputa’s sons are free, 

And scorn thy frown, great Hum, as they do thee 
Their lives, and fortunes, honour, all they stake 

And dear Laputa’s sake. 

And still their fervent prayer shall always be, 

Laputa’s fame, and 



Printed by Jo hn F,\ i n b urn, Broadway, Ludgate-Hili. 


Look on the present; search for equal crime, 
Why dost thou start, why hesitate? Oh Time! 
Within thy breast what angry passions gush, 
Thy furrowed cheek is mantled with a blush ; 
Confess the truth, to seal the avenging curse, 
Another despot reigns, and yet is worse. 

Second Edition. 




[Entered at Statfoners Hall.] 


SAY, hoary Time, in thy triumphant flight, 
Through pagan gloom, or truth’s refulgent light, 
’Mid fallen states by regal vice subdued, 

Or ruffian bands by ireful law pursued. 

From where the Ganges laves her mighty flow, 
To where the Alps uprear their breasts of snow, 
Or classic Tiber, round whose hallowed shore, 
The spirits of a mightier age deplore 
That thy stern hand, by fate relentless hurled, 
Had crush’d the towering empress of the world. 
Say, hast thou seen, in all thy trackless roll, 

A lawless monarch half so black of soul 
As that Imperial Miscreant heaven had Sent 
To be to earth its scourge and punishment ? 
Look on the past, since his demoniac sway, 
What Tyrants ruled, and found the world obey. 
Though base, yet from his viler baseness free, 
Thine eye can trace no wretch so vile as lie! 


Look on the present; search for equal crime, 
Why dost thou start, why hesitate? Oh Time! 
Within thy breast what angry passions gush. 
Thy furrowed cheek is mantled with a blush ; 
Confess the truth, to seal the avenging curse, 
Another despot reigns, and yet is worse. 

Hear this ! imperial shade, and groan no more. 
Nor wander lonely on the Stygian shore ; 
Return the meaner fiends’ indignant yell, 

Be bold in crime, and spurn the scorn of hell; 
Another lives that will dispute thy claim 
To all thy shuddering infamy of fame. 

Like thee, in power he rests his wanton trust. 

Is wild in passion, infamous in lust; 

A murderer, whose tortures never cease. 

He seeks the heart, and stabs domestic peace; 
A son—whose filial duty none can prove; 

A husband—’reft of honor, faith, or love ; 

A father—in pursuit of pleasure wild, 

Who scarcely own’d his offspring for his child; 
The patron of the pimp, informer, bawd, 

Whose source is power, whose instrument is fraud 
A king—from justice, or its claims above, 

And wanting nothing but his people’s love! 

Such Nero is the man ordained by fate, 

Thy soul’s enormous crimes to vindicate, 


As darker shades the evening shadows cover. 

As some red meteor quite outshines another, 

So shall his vices o’er thy crimes prevail, 

And thy red beam of shame set mean and pale, 
As night’s fair orb fades silently away 
Before the orient blush of dawning day. 

And Oh ! that minstrel of this genial land, 

Should wake the sacred lyre to truth’s com¬ 

Nor fancy’s visions wanton in his eye. 

Replete with fervor, hope, and extacy! 

But sternly fated, to awake the strain 
Of reprobation, terror, and disdain; 

And wake the string that of the patriot sung. 

The sainted king, o’er whom the angels hung. 

To rouse the throbs of conscious deep disgrace. 
Within the breasts of his degen’rate race; 

Or cause that race-beam of his line to quiver. 
Whose orb of truth must beam in heaven for ever. 

Nero, ere passion burst the bands of youth, 
JDevoutlv listen’d to the voice of truth: 

f v 

And Seneca with his immortal lore 
Lull’d for awhile the throbbing impulse o’er; 

His pupil listen’d—knew the lesson good. 

Smil’d on the sage, and gave his gratitude! 


Nor when advanced to the imperial rule, 

Forgot at once the precepts of the school; 

Till passion’s madness seiz’d the slumbering mind, 
And woke the lawless monster on mankind ; 

A maniac ruffian in his frenzy clad, 

For man from reason burst is always mad! 

But he, the despot of a groaning land. 

Ne’er bent him meekly to a sage command; 

If in decorum’s limits seen to steer, 

5 Twas not from principle or love, but fear; 

Full of himself he form’d the boist’rous fray. 

With fools to cherish, villains to obey: 

Thus reason’s page lay open to his eye. 

But passion past the bright preceptor by, 

Revil’d her sober lore —her melancholy— 

And ran the race of appetite and folly ! 

Till spell’d as syren pleasure, gaily sung, 

Old in debauch—though for his vice too young; 
T'was art’s best triumph, who should first enjoy 
The kindling passions of the royal boy ! 

Till bold in vice, each glowing throb awake, 

He rose at once a gamester and a rake! 

Pursued his joyous aims, drank, wh—d, and lost, 
And paid for folly at a nation’s cost! 

Pleasure and appetite uncheck’d pursuing, 

A prince that revell’d in a tradesman’s ruin ! 


Nor offer’d more excuse ’gainst angry truth, 

Than the absurd apology of youth ! 

Imped’d by angry passion’s rugged strife, 

Nero beheld a victim in his wife! 

Nor doom’d the heart’s connubial ties to feel. 

He pierc’d her bosom with the murderous steel; 
But had she known what tortures after times 
Could give for fictious or imagined crimes, 

How cruelty’s protraction could destroy 
The dream of hope, the quiv’ring pulse of joy; 
What living tortures calumnies proclaim, 

Whose every whisper gives a stab to fame. 

She would have bless’d the blow ere she expir’d, 
And call’d the impulse—mercy, that had fir’d, 
Rather than live an exile from his state, 

The guiltless victim of a husband’s hate. 

Nero, who thus the bands connubial burst. 

Was sure a husband base, but not the worst; 
Religion’s beam had ne’er illum’d his mind 
With truth to heaven, and love to human kind. 
With such perceptions, he had sworn no vow. 
Like he who idly knelt, and broke it now; 

He had not plann’d, ere lit the nuptial flame, 

To give her up to misery and shame; 

He felt at least some impulse of desire. 

And though impure the flame, it still was fire! 


Not stealing to each darling vice by stealth. 

And basely feigning love, to grasp at wealth ; 

Till wedded, and from risk the treasure sure, 

He could no more a blameless wife endure ; 

She who had left her home to court alarms. 

And slept securely in his faithless arms ; 

And clinging to that breast she could prefer, 

Felt it indeed to beat—but not for her! 

He who with ire could chase that woman’s smile. 
And turn her forth to sorrow and exile; 

With slander’s brand oppose where’er she came, 
And fatten spies upon her wounded fame; 

Who to her breast forbade the child to cling, 

And clos’d from Nature nature’s sacred spring. 
Till on a throne, by power insidious driven. 

He strove to blot her from the book of heaven! 
That having drove from earth the injur’d fair, 

He might exclude her from admission there ; 

He who did this, o’er Nero’s crimes may claim 
A blacker record on the scroll of shame! 

Who Nero’s golden palace dares to blame, 

That knows the source from whence such splen 
dour came; 

Pillage from prostrate nations, sternly drain’d. 
The glittering halls of Nero’s home maintain’d. 


And grandeur’s golden fame to truth unfurl’d. 
The pillag’d treasures of a prostrate world ! 

But mark where luxury in modern times 
Has reared the seat of infamy and crimes, 

No pillaged nations swell the despot’s throne. 
Except indeed the plunder of his own ! 

Those gay pavilions smiling on the eye, 

As if to mock a people’s misery, 

Were reared in guilty pomp upon the spoil 
Wrung from the needy poor man’s daily toil, 
Who while those mansions rise their stately head 
Hears the wind whistle through his humble shed, 
Murmurs his wrongs, if murmur he can dare, 
And views his shivering offspring in despair. 
Doom’d, sternly doom’d, by faction’s bribed 

To be a bondsman in his native land. 

Yes, he whose arrogance so greatly dar’d, 

And ’mid our wants those gaudy temples rear’d. 
Who, drop by drop, could drain a people’s treasure, 
Laugh at their groan, and sink in downy pleasure, 
Worse than Old Nero, swells in impious state, 
More weak in mind, more infamously great. 

Th’ Imperial Epicure shall moderns spurn. 

And not to yon more guilty banquets turn. 



Nero no conscience had to dread its frown, 

This drinks, his conscience and his fears to drown. 
His sober reason frighted at the view 
Of visions, which conviction whispers true, 
Sick’ning at heart, and destitute of soul, 

He loses all his terrors in the bowl; 

Joins in the catch, or sinks in am’rous toy, 

And takes a stimulus to taste its joy. 

While ’round his parasites obsequious bow, 

Ask what they will, they are successful now. 

For love and wine exhilirating tends 
To make him affable to all his friends. 

Friends , that like insects fatten on the tree, 

So strong and verdant once—of Liberty ! 

Till all its strength consumed—its leaves decay’d, 
They perish in the ruin they have made. 

Whence came those viands, that delicious wine, 
With which the blushing goblets gaily shine? 
No favor’d luxury is treasured there, 

On which those titled minions fondly share, 

But has been drawn by fell oppression’s art, 

Some lingering comfort from the needy heart; 

No smile of bliss gives lustre to the eye, 

But can be mated with the wretches sigh ; 

Nor sparkling draught those callous bosoms cheer, 
That is not purchased by a suffering tear! 


Nero, no line for conduct’s course could draw 
From sacred volumes of existing law; 

No constitution gave to abject Rome, 

The sacred shelter of the freeman’s home! 

But in a barbarous age his actions still 
Were awed and govern’d only by the will. 

Is he not worse, who in more social times 
Could imitate —or e’en surpass his crimes ? 
Repress the lawful suppliant with a frown, 

And break those rights to which he owes his 
crown ! 

A king of freemen, who remonstrance braves. 
And thinks his subjects only are his slaves; 

Yes, worse than he, whose maniac passions claim 
Amusement, when his Rome w r as wrapp’d in 

No friend was near him on his ruin’s verge, 

To whisper danger, and reform to urge ; 

Afraid to speak, e’en friendship form’d the spell, 
Nor spoke the fatal truth till Nero fell! 

But now a people struggling ’gainst restraint, 
Surround the sluggard throne with just complaint, 
Around he hears the bold, the sacred cry, 

For speedy change, redress, and liberty ; 

While hemm’d by flatterers, opprest with fears, 
He sits supinely calm with closed ears. 


Or with oppressive measures waves the brand. 
That lights the ruin of his native land. 

Then blazing Rome, the maniac sacrifice, 

A wilder flame of ire around him flies ; 

The desperate feelings of the generous heart, 
Struggling with hope and liberty to part, 

While quick from breast to breast the impulse 

And faithful subjects turn rebellious foes ! 
Resolv’d with stubborn favor to embark, 

And save the Constitution's sacred ark ! 

Ere on corruption’s billows tempest tost, 

The sacred bulwark of their rights be lost! 

Neso exulting on his guilty throne. 

Observ’d the victim’s pangs, his dying groan, 

The lust of cruelty his bosom’s food, 

The tyrant rioted in human blood. 

But Nero ne’er employed insidious spies, 

First to seduce—then mark the sacrifice; 

To lure the needy wretch, whom power had 

With wealth and sacred freedom yet obtain’d, 
And then devote his blood in ripened hour. 

Yet firmer to cement the bands of power; 

He seal’d no falsehood with his royal word, 
And gave a tyrant’s aim with Justice’ sword, 


But bold as impious in the face of day, 

He laugh’d at heaven, and struck the destin’d 

And ’mid his basest crimes was ever free 
From that soul-withering vice, hypocrisy! 

And who can say, but in life’s later stage. 
Silver’d by time, and wrinkled o’er by age, 

When tamer grew the passion’s stormy tide, 

And nature lost the lustre of its pride, 

That every feverish impulse quite forgot, 

The tyrant might have dwindled to the sot. 
Grown calmer yet in Winter’s still advance, \ 
And stumbled on some virtuous act by chance; 
Till death that proves our dream of greatness 

Had put a silent period to' his reign. 

But Nero fell in life’s meridian prime, 

When jocund nature still can laugh at time. 

Nor when declining vigor told the truth, 

Ap’d in his age the vices of his youth. 

He did not live in vanity’s despair, 

To hide with borrowed locks his hoary hair; 
With boyish art to aim the youthful wile. 

And twist his wrinkled features to a smile, 

To toy, and sing, be drunk, and wond’rous jolly. 
The king of knaves, crown’d with the cap of folly! 


No! Nero fellHumanity’s vile scorn. 

The mock of hell, of ages yet unborn; 

And might have been their execration still, 

Had not another rose his seat to fill, 

As brutal, had not time’s still varying hue, 

That changes men, changed human passions too, 
As sensual in a more enlightened day, 

When truth and reason brightened in the ray, 
And weaker far when governed by a band 
Old Nero would have scrupled to command. 
Then let not Hell th’ Imperial shade despise, 
While through the gloom the sullen spirit flies, 

A living despot is ordained by fate 
To rob him of the world’s embittered hate, 

And while posterity bestows its curse, 

Think Nero better when compared to worse. 

But, O, my country ! valued, glorious, long 
The haunt of freedom, bravery and song, 

Whose breast as firm the shock of tyrants bore. 
As the white cliffs that guard thy genial shore. 
Well may the lyre with dolorous numbers wail, 
While blushing truth records the hapless tale. 
That one so weak, so impious as he, 

Should drain thy stores and manacle the free \ 
Yet sure upon the bard’s prophetic eye, 

The glorious days of your deliverance fly. 


Firm in thyself, in freedom’s cause secure, 

Thy children faithful and thy sages pure, 

A hero in each peasant stands confest, 

Arm’d with that noblest shield an honest breast, 
Firm to themselves, true to the holy cause. 

The Constitution and the sacred laws. 

Methinks the tyrant band their prowess feels, 
Corruption’s fabric totters, see, it reels, 

And the base crew, that dar’d your rights con¬ 

Within the ruins meet an abject doom! 

Now Industry and Peace again we hail, 

And blythe content treads jocund through the 

While the poor artizan embittered long 
With stern oppression, penury, and wrong, 
Erects his head to freedom’s sacred plan, 

And feels the conscious dignity of man. 

Then hails in native strains of honest glee, 

The bright, unshadowed, morn of liberty. 

J. Turner,^Printer, 170, Aldersgate Street, 

Just Published by 



And may be had of all Booksellers and News Venders. 

Price One Shilling , the Eighth Edition of 



Illustrated by Wood Engravings by Austin . 

This work has been most favorably received by the public, on 
account not only of its merit but of its originality of style ; it is re¬ 
commended to the admirers of satire as one of the most popular 
productions of the day. 

Although written in a vein of satire, this Work will faithfully re¬ 
cord the leading actions and most prominent vices of the Great Per¬ 
sonage so well known by the appellation given him in the title-page, 
and delineate with humourous accuracy the infamous proceedings on 
a late occasion, thereby adding one other lash, and that not the least 
important, to the already galling whip of public opinion so justly and 
liberally plied on the back of corruption. 

The Cuts are designed by an eminent artist and the whole executed 
ih a very superior manner. 

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Price One Shillings 

Dedicated to her Majesty, wdth her most gracious Permission, 


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This Publication, on account of its great merit, has obtained the 
honor of her Majesty’s patronage; as it sets forth, with an elegance 
of diction seldom surpassed, the conduct of her adversaries, and the 
sufferings of the illustrious Queen; it is recommended to the notice 
of those who feel one patriotic sentiment in favour of their country,, 
and in detestation of its oppressors. 

Fourth Edition, Price Sixpence, 



Tune.—“ John Gilpin was a Citizen .” 

(flREAT G— rgy was a pertly knight, 
Of valour and renown, 

A Colonel of Hussars was he, 

And liv’d in London town. 

Great G— rgy’s spouse—(but here a verse 
We needs must thrust between, 

Merely to say she went abroad 
To see what could be seen. 

N * 

And after seeing men and things 
By land and on the main, 

She heard her uncle George was dead, 
And strait came back again.) 


Great G— gy’s spouse said to her lord, 

“ You know we’ve wedded been 

“ This many a tedious year, so now 
“ I claim to be your Q—n. 

“ To-morrow’s August’s seventeenth day, 
And then to go I fix 

“ Unto the Lords at Westminster 
“ All in a Coach and Six. 


“ Good Lady H. and Matthew Wood, 

“ With whom I make just three, 

“ Will fill the Coach ; so there’s no room 
“ For you to sit with we.” 

He quick reply’d, “ I do abhor 
“ Of womankind but one, 

“ And you are she: so, mark my words, 

“ I’ll try to spoil your fun. 

“ I am a true Legitimate, 

“ As all the world doth know ; 

“ And my good friend the Ch ■ — lor 
“ Shall lend his mare to go.” 

Quoth Madam G— rqy, “ We’ll soon see 
“ On whose side justice lies ; 

■ c If Leeches be your witnesses, 

“ Know mine are Spanish flies.” 


Great G —rgy huff’d his merry wife ; 
Rio^ht vex’d was he to find, 

That tho’ on frolics she was bent, 

She had a stubborn mind. 

The seventeenth to the House she drove. 
But yet was not allowed 

To mount the r——11-e, lest all 

Should say that she was proud. 

So three yards off a chair was plac’d, 
Which G —gy’s spouse sat in ; 

Matthew and H. stood, all agog 
To splash thro’ thick and thin. 

Uprose the L— ds, e’en El —n’s phiz 
A moment beam’d with glee ; 

The lawyers’ wigs delgihted shook 
Great G— rgy’s spouse to see. 

Himself at El— n’s grey mare’s side 
Seiz’d fast the flowing mane ; 

And up he got in haste to ride, 

But soon came down again. 

For C-~n House scarce left had he, 

His journey to begin, 

^\Hien, turning round his head, he saw 
Three witnesses come in. 


So down he got; for, loss of time, 

Although it griev’d him sore, 

To lose his Hilt, full well he knew, 

Would trouble him much more. 

’Twas long before the foreigners 
Were suited to their mind. 

When Jenky screaming came down stairs, 

“ The bags are left behind.” 

“ Good lack!” quoth he, “ yet bring ’em me 
“ My leathern flask also, 
u Which holds my fav’rite eau de vie, 

When I ride to Soho.” 

Now L- pool (good careful soul!) 

Had two green pouches found, 

To hold the sav’ry mess he lov’d, 

And keep it safe and sound. 

Each bag was furnished with a loop, 

Thro’ which a belt he drew, 

And hung a pouch on either side, 

To make the balance true. 

Then over all, that he might be 
Equipp’d from top to toe, 

His long red cloak, well brush’d and aeat, 

He gracefully did throw. 


Now see him mounted once again 
Upon the Ch - -lor’s mare, 

Full slowly pacing o’er the stones, 

With doubt and anxious care. 

Here, reader, take a sober hint; 

Unlike friend Gilpin’s song, 

Our tale’s a simile at best, 

And joking flows along. 

So to return : the Ch—- lor’s pad 

Encountering Broom’s grim look, 

Began to snort, and kick, and trot, 

And sadly G— Rgy shook. 

So “ Fair and softly, Giff,” he cryd, 

But G— rgy cry’d in vain ; 

Giff’s trot became a gallop soon, 

In spite of curb or rein. 

So stooping down, as needs he must, 

Who cannot sit upright, 

He grasp’d Giff’s mane with both his hands. 
And eke with all his might. 

Poor Giff, who never in that sort 
Had handled been before. 

What thing upon his back had got 
Did wonder more and more. 


Off went Great G— rgy, neck or nought; 

Off flew his hat and wig; 

His brain—ah ! little did he dream 
Of running such a rig ! 

The storm rose high, the cloak did fly, 

Like streamer light and gay; 

Till loop and button failing both, 

It near had flown away. 

Then might the gaping crowd discern 
The pouches he had slung; 

A Gi ~een Bag swinging at each side, 

As hath been said or sung. 

Dogs, mongrels, curs, and puppies scream’d 
Up flew the windows all; 

And every soul cry’d out “ for shame!” 

As loud as they could bawl* 

Off went Great G— gy : who bat he? 

The story soon got wind ; 

Italian beagles run before, 

And others come behind. 

And sure, as Giff dash’d fearless on, 

’Twas wonderful to view, 

How in a trice the well-train’d cars 
Their throats wide open threw. 


And now as G- e went bowing down 

His reeking head full low, 

The Green Hags twain behind his back 
Burst at a single blow. 

Down ran the filth into the road, 

Disgusting to be seen, 

Which made poor Giff’s gray flanks to smoke, 
As they had basted been. 

But still she seem’d to carry weight, 

With good fat G— gy grac’d ; 

And all might see the Green Bags' loops 
Still dangling from his waist. 

Thus all thro' merry Westminster 
These gambols he did play, 

But chiefly was the fun confin’d 
To Palace Yard so gay; 

And there he threw the filth about 
On both sides of the way, 

Just like unto a trundling mop, 

Or a wild goose at play. 

Whilst thus engag’d, poor L- pool 

From a balcony spied 

His loving master, wondering much 
To see how he did ride. 


“ Stop, stop, good G —rgy, —rest awhile,” 
He and his friends did cry ; 

“ ’Tis pudding time, and we are tir’d,” 
Said G— gy, “ So am I.’’ 


But yet grey Gipf was not a whit 
Inclin’d to tarry then ; 

For why ?—Her hurry was too great 
To feed in C : -ry Lane. 

So like an arrow swift she flew r , 

Shot by an archer strong ; 

So did she fly:—which brings me to 
The middle of my song. 

Off went fat G— gy out of breath, 

And half against his will; 

Till at the Ch - lor’s nod, at last. 

Grey Giff his mare stood still. 

The Ch- lor, amaz’d to see 

His master in such trim, 

Laid down his pipe, threw up his eyes, 

And thus accosted him : 

“ Sad news! sad news! our tidings tell 
“ Tell it we must and shall: 

“ I’m sorry you’re bare-headed come, 

“ Or that you’re come at all 


Now G— rgy had a pleasant wit, 

And lov’d a timely joke ; 

And thus unto his Ch-lor 

In merry guise he spoke : 

“ I’m come because your mare would come, 
“ And if I well forbode, 

* ( My tetes and queues will soon be here, 

“ They are upon the road.’’ 

The Ch- lor, right glad to find 

His friend in merry pin, 

Return’d him not a single word, 

But to the House went in; 

Whence strait he came with hat and wig ; 
A wig that flow’d behind, 

A hat not much the worse for wear: 

Each comely in its kind. 

He held them up, and in his turn 
Thus shew’d his ready wit: 

“ My head is twice as big as your’s, 

“ They therefore needs must fit. 

“ But let me scrape the dirt away, 

“ That hangs about your face; 

" And take a dram, for well you may 
ii Be in a piteous case.” 


“ Said G — rgy, “ ’Twere a cursed thing, 
“ And all the world would stare, 

“ If wife should prove thal I’m a rogue, 

“ And she an angel fair.’’ 

So patting El — n’s mare, he said : 

“ Pray Ileav’n our Bill succeed! 

“ ’Twas for your pleasure you begun, 

“ For mine you must proceed !” 

Ah ! luckless speech and bootless boast! 
For which he paid full dear; 

For on a sudden-’s ass 

Did sing most loud and clear ; 

Whereat poor Giff did snort, as she 
Had heard a lion roar, 

And gallop’d off with all her might 
As she had done before. 

Away went G— rgy, and away 
Went G— rgy’s hat and wig; 

He lost them sooner than at first: 

For why ?—they were too big. 

Now Mr. Jenky when he saw 
His master hurried down 
Thro’ many a labyrinth and maze, 

He pull’d out half a crotvn. 


And thus unto the youth he said 
That first kick’d up the row, 

“ This shall be vour’s, if you bring back 
“ Our master any how.” 

The youth drove hard, and soon did meet 
Giff corning back amain ; 

Whom in a trice he try’d to stop, 

By catching at her rein. 

But not performing what he meant, 

And gladly would have done. 

The frighten’d mare he frighted more, 

And made her faster rim. 

Away went G— rgy, and away 
Dash’d L— ch in wondrous sport, 

Glad for a few short hours to miss 
The drudg’ry of his Court. 

Six waggish blades, upon the road, 

Thus seeing G— rgy fiy, 

With L— ch a scamp’ring at his heels, 

They rais’d the hue-and-cry: 

“ Stop rogue! stop rogue! a Green-bag’s-man!” 
Not one of them was mute ; 

And all and each that pass’d that way 
Did join in the pursuit. 


And now again the foreign curs 
Yelp’d loud in G— rgy’s face ; 

Believing as they did at first 
They help’d to win his race. 

And so they might—if ’twere enough 
To make a race be won, 

That where a blockhead first gets up 
He does again get down. 

Thus a poor devil have I seen 
In all the bliss of pain, 

Flogg’d thro’ the ranks, then forc’d to run 
The gauntlet o’er again! 

Now let us sing, “ Long live the Queen! 
“ And G— rgy, long live he 1 

“ And when he next rides El — n’s mare, 
“ May I be there to see l” 


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u Hence will I drag thee headlong by the heels unto a Dunghill, which shall be thy 
grave ; and there cut off thy most ungracious head, which I will bear in triumph to 
the -■■■ii !” Shakspeare . 








Here do you keep a hundred knights and squires: 

Men so disorderly, so debauch’d, and bold, 

That this our Court, infected with their manners, 

Shews like a riotous Inn: epicurism and lust 
Make it more like a Tavern, or a Brothel, 

Than a grac’d Palace. Shakspeare . 



□ □ 


What piles of wealth hath he accumulated to his own portion ! What expense 
by th’ hour seems to flow from him,; how, i’ th’ name of thrift, does he rake 
this together ? Skakspeare* 




At home, surrounded by a servile crowd, 

Prompt to abuse, and in detraction loud; 

Abroad, begirt with men, and swords, and spears, 

His very state acknowledging his fears. Prior• 

This is the COCK well known to fame, 

A Dunghill at heart, tho’ suppos’d to be game; 
Who, lost to feeling, and dead to shame, 
Dishonor’d his faith and disgrac’d his name. 


And kept many Hens, both wild and tame, 
That eat the Corn, 

That lay in the Palace 

That Jack built! 


The truth appears so naked on my side, that any purblind eye may find it out. 
And on my side it is so well apparell’d, so clear, so shining, and so evident, 
that it will glimmer through a blind man’s eye. SkaJcspeare. 

This is the HEN, from Germany brought, 
Allow’d to be one of the best of her sort, 
That left her friends, and became the sport 
Of the cruel and base of a profligate court; 
That wedded the Cock, well known to fame, 

A Dunghill at heart, tho’ supposed to be game 
Who, lost to feelings, and dead to shame, 
Dishonor’d his faith and disgrac’d his name, 
And kept many Hens, both wild and tame, 
That eat the Corn, 

That lay in the Palace 

That Jack built! 


Lingering perdition, worse than any death can be 

At once, attend you and your ways. Shakspeare. 

This is the artful ITALIAN TRIBE, 

Who would barter their souls in exchange for a 

That depos’d, upon oath, to the basest of lies, 
Engender d and hatch’d by detestable spies; 


W fJ 


That worried the Hen, from Germany brought, 
Allow’d to be one of the best of her sort, 

That left her home, and became the sport 
Of the cruel and base, in a profligate court; 
That wedded the Cock, well known to fame, 
A Dunghill at heart, tho’ supposed to be game 
Who, lost to feeling, and dead to shame, 
Dishonor’d his faith, and disgrac’d his name, 
And kept many Hens, both wild and tame, 
That eat the Corn, 

That lay in the Palace 

That Jack built! 


How, of Adultery ? wherefore write you not 
What Monster’s her Accuser ? 

No, ’tis slander, 

Whose edge is sharper than the sword ; whose tongue 
Outvenoms all the worms of Nile; whose breath 
Rides on the posting winds, and doth belie 
All corners of the world; kings, queens, and states, 

Maids, matrons, nay, the secrets of the grave, 

This viperous slander enters. Shakspeare. 

These are the COCKS, whose talents are known, 
From the clod on the dunghill to him on the Th—, 
That flew at the artful Italian tribe, 

That would barter their souls in exchange for a 


That depos’d, upon oath, to the basest of lies, 
Engender’d and hatch’d by detestable spies; 
That worried the Hen, from Germany brought, 
Allow’d to be one of the best of her sort, 

Who left her friends, and became the sport 
Of the cruel and base, of a profligate court; 
That wedded the Cock, well known to fame, 
Punghkl at heart, tlo’ suppos’d to be game; 

Who, ms f to feeling, and dead to shame, 
Dishonor’d his faith, and disgrac’d his name, 
And kept many Hens, both wild and tame, 
That eat the Corn, 

That lay in the Palace 

That Jack built! 


u I will be hang’d if some eternal villain, 

Some busy and insinuating rogue, 

Some cogging, cozening slave, to get some office, 

Have not devis’d this slander.” 


This is DAME BULL, a sensible wife, 

Who ne’er intermeddled with quarrels or strife, 
But who scorn’d to behold an innocent Bird 
Defam’d, and disgrac’d, and degraded unheard, 


And encourag’d the Cocks, whose talents are 

From the clod on the dunghill to him on the th-, 

That dew at the artful Italian tribe, 

Who would barter their souls in exchange for a 

That depos’d, upon oath, to the basest of lies. 
Engender’d and hatch’d by detestable spies; 
That worried the. Hen, from Germany brought, 
Allow’d to be one of the best of her sort, 

That left her friends, and became the sport 
Of the cruel and base, of a profligate court; 

That wedded the Cock, well known to fame, 

A Dunghill at heart, tho’ suppos’d to be game ; 
Who, lost to feeling, and dead to shame, 
Dishonor’d his faith, and disgrac’d his name, 

And kept many Hens, both wild and tame, 

That eat the Corn, 

That lay in the Palace 

That Jack built! 


What, tho’ no gaudy titles grace my birth ? 

Titles, the servile Courtiers’ lean reward ! 

Sometimes the pay of virtue; but more oft 

The hire which greatness gives to slaves and sychophants : 

Yet Heaven, that made me honest, made me more 

Than e’er a king did, when he made a lord. Howe. 

This is JOHN BULL all tatter’d and torn, 

His money and most of his liberties gone, 

Who rose with the lark and went late to his bed, 
To provide his half-famishing children with bread, 
And, o’ercome with fatigue and oppression com¬ 

Permitted despair to take root in his mind. 


Tho’ he married Dame Bull, a sensible wife, 

Who ne’er intermeddled with quarrels and strife, 
But who scorn’d to behold an innocent Bird 
Defam’d, and disgrac’d, and degraded unheard, 
And encouraged the Cocks, whose talents are 

From the clod on the dunghill to him on the th-, 

That flew at the artful Italian tribe, 

Who would barter their souls, in exchange for a 

That depos’d, upon oath, to the basest of lies, 
Engender’d and hatch’d by detestable spies, 

That worried the Hen, from Germany brought. 
Allow’d to be one of the best of her sort. 

That left her friends, and became the sport 
Of the cruel and base of a profligate court, 

That wedded the Cock, well known to fame, 

A Dunghill at heart, tho’ suppos’d to be game, 
Who lost to feeling, and dead to shame, 
Dishonor’d his faith, and disgrac’d his name, 
And kept many Hens, both wild and tame, 

That eat the Corn, 

That lay in the Palace 

That Jack built! 


Priest, beware thy beard; I mean to tug it, and to cuff you soundly. 


This is the PRIEST all shaven and shorn, 

A hunter for profit, and sleeves of lawn, 

Whose speeches and sermons are cunningly made 
With an eye to increasing the profits of trade; 
Who a Patriot accus’d of the base attempt 
To bring our religion and laws in contempt, 



And, with arrogance, levity, malice, and scorn, 
Insulted John Bull, all tatter’d and torn, 

His money and most of his liberties gone, 

Who rose with the lark, and went late to his bed, 
To provide his half-famishing Children with bread; 
And, o’ercome with fatigue and oppression com¬ 

Permitted despair to take root in his mind. 

Tho’ he married Dame Bull, a sensible wife. 

Who ne’er intermeddled with quarrels and strife, 
But who scorn’d to behold an innocent Bird 
Defam’d, and disgrac’d, and degraded unheard, 
And encourag’d the Cocks, whose talents are 

From the clod on the dunghill to him on the th —, 
That flew at the artful Italian tribe, 

Who would barter their souls in exchange for a 

That deposed, upon oath, to the basest of lies, 
Engender’d and hatch’d by detestable spies, 

That worried the Hen from Germany brought, 
Allow’d to be one of the best of her sort, 

That left her friends, and became the sport 
Of the cruel and base of a profligate court, 


That wedded the Cock, well known to fame, 
A Dunghill at heart, tho’ supposed to be game, 
Who lost to feeling, and dead to shame, 
Dishonor’d his faith, and disgrac’d his name, 
And kept many Hens both wild and tame, 

That eat the Corn, 

That lay in the Palace 

That Jack built! 


Friends now fast sworn, whose hours, whose bed, whose meal, whose exercise, 
are still together; who twine, as ’twere, in love inseparable, shall, within 
this hour, on a dissension of a doit , break out to bitterest enmity! 


These are the COCKS that have pilfer’d the corn, 
And ruin’d the country in which they were born ; 
That manag’d to live ever since they were hatch’d, 
By a system of plunder, not easily match’d ; 


That will quarrel and fight with themselves in the 

And die on a Dunghill, unwept by a friend; 

Not even the Priest, all shaven and shorn, 

The hunter for favor, and sleeves of lawn, 

Whose speeches and sermons are cunningly made 
With an eye to increasing the profits of trade, 

Who a Patriot accused of the base attempf 
To bring our religion and laws in contempt, 

And with arrogance, levity, malice, and scorn, 
Insulted John Bull, all tatter’d and torn, 

His money and most of his liberties gone, 

Who rose with the lark, and went late to his bed, 
lo provide his half-famishing Children with bread; 
And, o ercome with fatigue and oppression com¬ 

Permitted despair to take root in his mind. 

Tho’ he married Dame Bull, a sensible wife, 

Who ne’er intermeddled with quarrels or strife, 
But who scorn’d to behold an innocent bird 
Defam d, and disgrac’d, and degraded unheard, 
And encourag d the Cocks, whose talents are 

Prom the clod on the dunghill to him on the th —, 


That flew at the artful Italian tribe, 

Who would barter their souls in exchange for a 

That depos’d, upon oath, to the basest of lies, 
Engender’d and hatch’d by detestable spies, 

That worried the Hen, from Germany brought, 
Allow’d to be one of the best of her sort, 

That left her friends, and became the sport 
Of the cruel and base of a profligate court. 

That wedded the Cock, well known to fame, 

A Dunghill at heart, tho’ supposed to be game, 
Who lost to feeling and dead to shame, 
Dishonor’d his faith, and disgrac’d his name, 

And kept many Hens both wild and tame, 

That eat the Corn, 

That lay in the Palace 

That Jack built! 



We’ll have you, as our rarer monsters are, painted upon a pole. 








“ Non mi Ricordo 










1820 . 


W. Flint, Printer, Angel Court, Skinner Street* 





1 . 

“ Most Noble Lords,” cried G- e the Great, 

“ I have a Cause of wond’rous weight 
“ That claims your sage decision ; 

“ A Secret soon I’ll bring to light, 

“ ’Gainst Brougham, Wood, or Denman’s spite, 
“ Who hold me in derision. 

2 . 

“ My R—y—1 Spouse, as ’twill be seen, 

“ Has made me ope the Bag of Green, 

“ To prove her Guilt is certain; 

“ I’ve sent Majochi, who, no doubt. 

Will clearly make the Charges out, 

“ And draw the Mystic Curtain. 



3 . 

“ Besides, I’ve got a motly group, 

“ In Cotton Yard you’ll find the Coop, 

“ With C—tl—gh their Tutor; 

“ They’ll swear black’s white, not over nice, 
“ ’Twas by L—d L—-rp—l’s Advice, 

“ I got them to confute her. 

4 . 

Then I’ve a trusty Friend beside, 

“ To grant my wish, is all his pride, 

“ S—d—th’s a faithful Lord, O ; 

“ But should things change, ’tis ten to one, 
“ Like all the rest, he’d cut and run, 

“ And say, Non mi Ricordo.” 

5 . 

Scarce was the R—y-—1 Will proclaim'd, 
And G—ff-—d’s Speech all minds inflam’d, 
When O !—a sad disaster; 

Truth will come out, for Truth defies, 

L’en Bags of Green ! made up of Lies, 
And crack’d heads, need a plaister. 


6 . 

To pave the way, (for rogues have care) 
Cried C—tl—gh “ We’ll have a Prayer, 
“ And let some B—h—p read it, 

“It will our Minds most aptly fit, 

“ While we in Judgment gravely sit, 

“ And who knows, we may need it.” 

7 . 

Majochi, first upon the List, 

Thought none his Statement could resist, 

So clear it was, no doubt on’t;. 

But scarce was ope’d the famous Bag, 

’Bout which Great G—e had made his brag, 
When lo ! the cat jumpt out on’t. 

8 . 

The Time arrived, he took his post, 

In presence of Great Lords—a Host, 

To tell the Lesson taught him; 

For certain L—d’s (as ’twill be seen) 

To Lie and Swear against the Q—n, 

From Italy had brought him. 


9 . 

“ He’d seen, he’d seen,” he knew not what, 
But deeper in the mire he got, 

His Tutor much he needed ; 

The Lords—Non mi Ricordo spurn’d, 

His Evidence the Case soon turn’d, 

And G—ff—d superseded. 


Soon Brougham with a piercing Eye 
Found out Majochi’d learnt to Lie, 

And through the Case saw clearly; 

He thought he’d got his Lesson pat, 

But Brougham cried, “ Mind what you’re at, 
“ Or else you’ll pay for’t dearly.” 

11 . 

“ Just pause awhile, there’s more to come,” 
Cried Denman, “ on ’em, I’ve my thumb, 

“ Their Cause—who dare protect it; 

“ Conspiracy, the foulest reigns, 

“ But let them talk of Bills of Pains, 

“ Truths Mirror ’ll soon reflect it.” 


12 . 

Paturza, second on the List, 

Appeared, and gave his Face a twist. 

To find out his kind Backers ; 

And seeing them—blind to disgrace, 

He soon commenced his short-liv’d race, 
And told some famous whackers. 

13 . 

“ He’d sail’d to Malta, and Milo, 

“ Then to Jerusalem did go, 

“ And next St. Jean D’Acre; 

“ Tlie weather Hot, in Tents all Day 
“ The Pr—c-—ss and Be—g—-mi lay, 
“ For he would not forsake her. 

14 . 

“ They sleptbut where he could’nt tell, 
And what they did, elsewhere as well, 

To him was quite a Mis’try ; 

If he knew ought—he’d told it all, 

E’er grateful to L—d S—d—th’s call, 
And fill’d with Lies a hist’ry. 


15 . 

’Twas soon found out, he was well paid, 

And as for Lying, ’twas his trade, 

His Conscience—he ne’er found it; 

He made a BARGAIN for the Chink, 

To fill the Green Bag to the brink, 

And Sid and Co.—soon bound it, 

16 . 

Next came Gargiulo, of the Troop, 

He knew the Quarter-Deck and Poop, 

From Stem to Stem he’d mention ; 

“ ’Twas here, and there, a Bed was made, 

“ ’Twas here, and there, the Pr—c—ss staid,” 
He paid such strict attention. 


To prove her Guilt, in Vain he tries, 

By telling of a thousand Lies, 

Till Brougham’s Skill assail’d him ; 

He found himself so sharply prest, 

(For Brougham put him to the test,) 

That nought his Lies avail’d him. 


18 . 

Di Rollo then, a Foreign Cook, 

Came well prepar’d—he'd read the BOOK 
His Tutor’d kindly lent him ; 

His Evidence soon prov’d so Gross, 

Of Green-Bag Lies, he’d ta’en a Dose, 

That quickly back* they sent him. 

19 . 

A British Captain, George Pechell, 

Was next brought forth, his Tale to tell, 

From him was much expected; 

He spoke, and well ’twas understood 
The Truth —as every Briton should. 

While honour it reflected. 

20 . 

The L—ds who back’d the Green Bag Cause, 
Quite sudden dropt their Lan thorn Jaws, 
Well knowing what they proffer’d ; 

He scorn’d to tell a filthy Lie, 

Tho’ urg’d by S—d—th and Old Sly, 

For all the Bribes they offer’d. 

* Cotton Yard, the memorable receptacle, 



21 . 

Next Captain Brigs—who’d often seen, 

And mark’d the actions of the Queen, 

He spoke in terms well suited; 

“ He scorn’d from Scrutiny to shrink, 

“ In him Truth’s Chain ne’er lost a link,” 

Her Foes he soon confuted. 

22 . 

Then Pietro Puchi, very learned, 

r ; ■ / ' * ' 

Through a thick wall easy discern’d 
What ev’ry one was doing ; 

“ He saw B—g—mi come,” he swore 
“ While through the key-hole of the door, 

“ Attentive he was viewing. 

23 . 

“ From where—why the Pr—c—sses Room, 

“ He thought to sweep all like a broom 
“ (Quite new)—and get the applause on’t,” 
But Williams# soon, cut Puchi short, 

He dared not e’en to make retort, 

For well he knew the cause on’t. 

* Counsellor. 


24 . 

Next witness call’d, was Barbara Kress, 
She’d got a most delightful mess, 

To serve up to each Lord, O ; 

A Tale she told, that did surpass 
(For she had got a face of brass) 

The famed, Non mi Ricordo. 

25 . 

44 She knew the Room, and knew the Bed,” 
On which the Pr—c—ss laid her head, 

And mark’d her time of rising ; 

She watch’d her with her attentive eyes 
And prov’d herself the best of Spies 
Ingratitude comprising. 

26 . 

She found a Cloak, and thought ’twas clear, 
Against the Pr—c—ss’twould appear, 

And nothing more was needed ; 

But Brougham soon, convinc’d the Hag, 
She’d very little cause to brag, 

Her Lies were all unheeded. 


27 . 

Gueisseppe Bianchi next appears, 

“ He’d been a Guard for fourteen years,” 

To doubt his word—who thought it ? 

He spoke, most certain, very plain, 

’Twas ’bout the Pr—c—ss, and a Chain, 

But what of that, she bought it. 

28 . 

But then he’d have you understand, 

“ He saw B—g—mi squeeze her hand,” 

It seem’d he could controul her; 

Be that as 'twill, you’ll all agree, 

Most openly ’twas done—as she 
Got into the Gondola. 

29 . 

’Tis said, and Reason surely’ll tell, 

We’ve all a right, to give or sell, 

In what e’er rank or station ; 

And where’s the harm—but squeeze—pshaw ! fuss, 
A Ministerial Squeeze is worse, 

Whose Taxes squeeze the Nation. 


30 . 

Ragazzoni next, a Mason, 

He strove hard to put a face on, 

In support of the Green Bag ; 

“ He’d seen the Pr—c—ss take a walk 
“ And often with B—g—mi talk 
“ To prove which he’d ne’er lag.” 

31 . 

But being one day curious grown, 

And still not wishing to be known, 

Behind a Pilaster he got; 

“ The Pr— c—ss and B—g—mi came, 

“ He laugh’d at Adam—she the same, 

“ And said—He don’t know what.” 

32 . 

Miardi then, was call’d m turn, 

He seemed with something new to burn, 
And anxious to explain it; 

“ He saw the Pr—c—ss Drink and Eat, 
“ And in the Kitchen took a Seat,” 

He swore “ he could maintain it.” 



33 . 

But what of that, our Noble K- g 

Wer’e told, once did the very thing, 

And seem’d to make a Joke on’t; 

As for the rest, I’ll e’en be brief, 

In Lies, he quite surpass’d the Chief,& 
And gloried as they spoke on’t. 

34 . 

Next Oggione, an under Cook 
The oath (to Lie) he freely took, 

And Dish’d up a fine Story ; 

“ ’Twas all about a famous Dance,f 
“ At which the Pr—c—ss threw a glance, 
“ And seem’d at it to glory,” 

35 . 

« J ■ ■ 4 

Next came Dumont, a famous Dame, 

Lost to all Feeling, and to Shame, 

And rivall’d all before her ; 

She’d train’d up well, great Pains she took, 
She’d got her Tale (from out the Book) 

To tell—when they had swore her. 


t Danced by Mahomet. 


36 . 

Right well she knew, what she had seen, 
And to what Places she had been, 

The Book#—she’d oft peruse it: 

The whole a mess of Green Bag Lies 
For she, as ’twere, had got the Prize 
And well knew how to use it. 

* Instruction Book. 






Price 6d. 


Price One Shilling Each, Coloured. 

Third Edition. 

TAKEN ILL, Third Edition. 

3. A SEA VOYAGE, undertaken at the recommen¬ 
dation of Doctors Sid & Co. for the restoration of the 
Great Babes’ Health. 


The Real NON MI RICORDO, a New Prelu- 
dical Song, as Sung and Recited by Signor Non mi 
Ricordo, with all requisite applause before a Grand 
Assemblage of a Great House. The Music by Signor 
Giffardo. Price One Shilling. 

for NON MI RICORDO, |dusic by Signior Giffardo. 
Price One Shilling. 

COMICAL INCIDENTS, a New Celebrated Comic 
Song, as Sung by Mr. Grimaldi, with unbounded 
applause at Sadlers Wells Theatre. Price One Shilling 
and Sixpence. 

S3? A variety of other Caricatures., 

W. Flint, Printer, Angel Court, Skinner Street, 




GfjoSt of gumuS; 



u Some say the People are the Scum ; for my part y I always 
found that the Scum floated on the top.” 







•* v 


THE Author has “ the honor to inform the 
** Church, State, and Public in general/' that he 
has published the Black Rod , or the Ghost of Junius ; 
being a powerful Spirit, which neither the pious Head 
of the Church, nor its antispiritual Ministers, have 
yet had power to lay. 

The Author, aware that many publications have 
been blown upon by the force of their own puffs, 
abstains in consequence from any attempt to raise 
the wind, by exerting his lungs in compliment to him¬ 
self. Perceiving, however, that the flimsy publications 
of the Bank are universally received current, he hopes> 
that in the stream of popular opinion, he may be 
permitted to swim in the same boat, and will even 
feel more happy than the Bank in being required to 
re-issue his paper. 

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Stfev-'f : * * ’/■ 



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To Mr. Commissioner Cook , SfC. fyc. fyc. 

My Dear Cook, 

Your esteemed favors arrived in due course. 
If we can only prove that the Queen has degraded 
herself by grubbing in the kitchen, she is dish’d to a 
dead certainty. Find if you can some Fair Trader, 
who has made notes, get her to alter her tone, pay her 
in her own coin, and get her to sing to the tune of 
Dr. Faustus. Damn the evidence being flimsy; 
bribe the “ Sovereign people ” with a thing like them¬ 
selves—all the better for being bought—then they’re 
ours by purchase: take receipts from all, we may 
have occasion to produce them as title deeds. The 
Jockey you sent with the dispatches was as sick as a 
horse on the passage, and almost lost, but I am happy 
to inform you that, ultimately, the vessel and crew 
brought up in safety. The simpleton told me, the 
“ fears of hell got hold upon him,” and thought, like 
Jonah, of being food for fishes—the fool forgot that 
we’ve the protection of Wales. 

We stuffed the goose with the rest in the garden, 
and had him dressed with plenty of sauce ; but that 



confounded twig, Broom, had a b?’ush at him, swept 
all we had laid down for him clean out of his head; 
and, to our great annoyance, cut the poor Devil up 
with a tongue like a small sword. From such ano¬ 
ther action, Good Lord, deliver us ; yet, as the Post 
says, we got the day. Entre nous, however, we may 
say with Phyrrus, one more such victory and we’re 
all done Brown. 

Old Bags was afraid the other day of getting the 
sack, so compromised with his chief creditors, Messrs. 
Conscience, Honor <§ Co. who, upon the security of 
his place, have suffered him to draw upon them to 
any extent. He’s a devil of a fellow for serving God 
and his King, which, with him, are synonymous 
terms. Would to God they were in reality, then we 
should have sold ourselves to the right master. Never 
mind, as Shakespeare says, “ Conscience is a coin, we 
live by parting with it.” By the bye, I forgot to 
acquaint you, that you may draw upon the treasury 
to any amount. 

Though (between ourselves) he has hardly a leg to 
stand upon, my Lord the Speaker rose and made a 
fine long legal speech; and I must be candid enough 
to say, the woolsack cut but a sheepish sort of a 
figure. He’ll lie through thick and thin for the head 
of the church, and never turn tail “ whilst memory 
holds its seat in this distracted brainso that you 
may have a bonfire and make tinder of the Times— 
the rascals are for ever firing at us—but don’t burn 
your fingers, it might be considered a reflection on 
the bar. If you only act like a man, we shall soon 
knock this woman on the head. Lord, have mercy 


on her; she will be as much fibbed by old E ... n 
as the head of a game chicken in Chancery. I must 
now conclude, by advising you to purchase whatever 
evidence you can, so that they’ll bear swearing: drill 
the rascals well; drum their lesson into them, don’t 
trust to their recollection, they may lose that on the 
road; put on paper all you wish them to swear to, 
and their affidavit shall be the only pass to promotion. 

Your’s, &c. &c. 

To Mr. Cook. P. 

My Dear Lord , 

It is a monstrous difficult thing to describe to 
you our present situation ; it is almost a non-descript 
combination of mess and misery, and, under existing 
circumstances, can only be compared to a second edi¬ 
tion of chaos. V.t has got the vapours, 

arising, I believe, from Tierney having lately swamped 
him; and I have as much difficulty to raise my spirits 
as chum has to raise the wind. What a spirited pair 
to run in a curricle. A fine turn out we shall soon 
make I’m afraid; faith, my mind is already on the 
wheel, with thinking of it. What, in the name of 
heaven, made the Queen come, I can’t conceive. 
Damn that Wood for posting her here; the fool 
thirsts after popularity as though he had the dry rot. 
I never knew the porter-drinking populace in such a 
ferment before. Thanks to Calvert and the Whit¬ 
bread’s entire; they’ll cause the people to rise, take 
my word. What do you think of a tax upon yeast f 


That may stop it for a time. The mob has too much 
of it at present; taxation may, perhaps, lessen the 
demand. Although I can't keep within bounds , I 
am actually afraid to stir out. They’ve hung me in 
effigy, cursed me for being an Irishman, and wish me 
to return to what they call my own country. Poor 
ignorant wretches !!! how can it be mine when 1 sold 
it f The Queen is now the first subject on the carpet, 
and she too has an inveterate antipathy to be floor'd. 
I trust however we may succeed, by the united force 
of law and substantial justice. Seriously speaking^ 
we are in a deuce of a dilemma. Exchequer bills are 
blown upon, and the pains and penalties are most 
seriously disliked; there is as much difficulty in pass¬ 
ing the one as the other. V.t is in a terrible 

fright; and, I assure you, I am in something like an 
Irish stew. Van is the only one of us who escapes 
popular execration, and he only does it by keeping in 
the rear, E ... n, who used to pass in a crowd, is now 
as roughly handled by the press as any. 

His Lordship, agreeable to instructions, rose the 
other day to make a speech on the necessity of pains 
and penalties, and, by way of effect, piped his eye as 
a prelude —-having previously laid the water on. He 
commenced with, “ Be just and fear not;” which is, 
you recollect, in Wolsey’s speech to Cromwell. He 
did the thing in a very good stile and imposing way; 
but some journeyman journal writer must start a 
doubt, whether his Lordship might not have occasion 
to conclude the quotation, which is I own awfully 
terrible, viz. “ Had I but served my God with half 
“ the zeal with which I’ve served my King, he would 


“ not in mine age have left me naked to my enemies.” 
I believe, however, the Old Man has understood poli¬ 
tical economy as well as the best. I wish you could 
devise some means of curbing the liberty of the 
press, its all very well for the navy in war time, 
but is of serious detriment to us now. Oh for the 
censorship of France, or the admirable constitution of 
Turkey ! then a fig for the people. The newspaper 
hirelings are certainly the most atrocious enemies we 
have ; and E... n very truly says, they will not even 
let the Old Gentleman alone; he told me with a 
long face the other day, he wished his time was 
to come over again; regretting, most eloquently, his 
incapacity to throw off the Old Man. He really is 
too harshly treated; they should consider he has 
enough to vex him already ; he’s advanced in years ; 
and is, besides, keeper of the R. ..I conscience , which, 
under existing circumstances, is, I assure you, no sine¬ 
cure. Write as early as convenient, and believe me 

Your’s, &c. &c. 

To Lord --, C.. 

Ambassador at the Court of - 

My dear Lord, 

As Peter Pindar would have said, by great 
Caesar’s high commands we’ve passed the Rubicon, 
and thank God we’ve got no English Brutus to make 
our Sovereign’s hair stand an end upon his head. 

I’ve been in such low spirits lately, that I have 
been obliged to have recourse to an extra dose of green 


tea punch, to drive away the blue devils, which haunt 
the cabinet as though the members formed a herd of 
swine. It is a devilish good remedy I assure you, I 
had it from the head of the church, as a sovereign re¬ 
cipe to lay bad spirits, and raise good ones in their 

A pretty audience I had the other day; you may 

bless your stars you are not P... e M. r; 

all my precious fellows of B..... s waited upon me, 
most piously in their canonicals, previous to going to 
the house; I never in my life saw such samples of 
living richness, as these specimens of piety; they 
looked for all the world like tasters from a ripe old 
Stilton cheese. These Rotchilds of religion came to 
assure me their consciences were entirely at my ser¬ 
vice, and entreated me to draw upon them sparingly, 
representing that they might be looked upon as 
scabby sheep by their flocks, if I proceeded to a di¬ 
vision ; most pastorally concluding this likely idea 
with, from such an act “ Good Lord deliver us.” In 
a pet, that their worships should imagine I wished 
them to act against their consciences, I requested 
they would act only as they thought correct, which 
was all well, for they knew what correctness was, as 
well as myself. And how could they ever conceive 
that I wanted them to act against a thing which I 
knew it was impossible they could be acquainted with. 
I, however, thought proper to give a little scope to 
the play of their imaginations, and carelessly enu¬ 
merated the different most lucrative benefices likely 
to become vacant; then the eyes of these ministers of 
light brightened in a twinkling; these dying martyrs 


of Christianity shook their souls in anticipations of 
line fat livings; and then the sacramental turtles, 
who looked like the principal production of Pro¬ 
vidence in holy orders, vowed they were mine for 
ever; and thought, no doubt, of the great advantage 
which society might derive from their being promoted 
to superior bishoprics. It was then agreed that they 
were to d.. n the Q ... n by voice and vote; and they 
shortly afterwards left me to preach charity sermons 
to the metropolis, with the full assurance that they 
were fast as the church. Little wits you see can’t 
bear the test of translation. With all our exertions, 
I am, however, sadly afraid we shall scarce secure a 
majority; the job unfortunately looks black; and 
the people reflect that blackness upon us. God knows 
all we do is by compulsion; we must either play this 
farce, or retire from the stage; and if we have invented 
a plot to support the piece, we were compelled to the 
act, and necessity is, and always has been, the mother 
of invention. Its a fortunate thing the world cannot 
see behind the scenes, and only a select few you know 
are admitted to the Green Room, Green Bag I had 
almost said; but enough of this at present, that is not 
what I had to write about. You must, my dear fel¬ 
low, use your utmost endeavours for our service; re¬ 
collect, if we go you will follow. If you possibly can, 
get an embargo laid upon any goods likely to be 
imported by the Q... n from the Germanic body, to 

accomplish which, the T.y, with its first Lord, 

is entirely at your service. Should you require the 
needful to do what is necessary, draw direct, and the 
bills and ourselves will be equally honored. Look 


among your acquaintance, and see if there is not 
some chamber-maid, or scullery girl, with a conscience- 
elastic enough to stretch a little on the subject ; try 
if you can obtain two or three thundering swearers, 
that’s a heavenly fellow ; recollect our places depend 
up it; the world will never know it; or, if they 
should, never mind what the vulgars say, we’ll satisfy 
the multitude, if we have only the loaves and fishes. 

His M.y has written a letter of thanks to the 

Emperor, and feels extremely obliged for his offers of 
service; it is ten thousand pities he never saw the 
Q... n, then he might have testified conscientiously 
to her impropriety. The K .. g has written to his 
imperial and leaden brother (excuse the freedom), en¬ 
deavouring to induce him to be a witness in the cause, 
under a promise of reciprocating the favor, should it 
be required. I hardly think it will be complied with, 
but if it should, his testimony would carry great 
weight, from the heavy materials he is composed of. 
Write me full particulars as soon as you can, and be¬ 
lieve me, my dear Lord, 

Your’s, kc. 

To L... S . L. 

My Lord, 

1 feel happy in having the honor to acknow¬ 
ledge the receipt of your’s of the -, and lose no 

time in sending the required documents. Enclosed 
you will receive nine statements of what Rastelli is 
willing to swear to. I should wish much to have your 
opinion as to which it would be most advantageous to 



select; for, as upon the face of things they are con¬ 
tradictory, it is impossible he can swear to all, with 
any chance of being believed, and it is therefore ne¬ 
cessary to make a selection. 

I have also transmitted copies of what V-i 

and the other commissioners have thought it most 
advisable that the Captain and Mate should swear to, 
and shall feel happy in receiving your approval. I 
think you will find them advantageous witnesses. 

We had extreme difficulty in getting over a few 

qualms of conscience ; butV-ti, in a very able 

manner, overruled all objections, by giving a draft 
on Powei % and a promise, under the Abbot's hand, 
of immediate absolution. The amount, I am afraid 
you will consider enormous, yet trust you will not 
think it unnecessarily great, when you take into con¬ 
sideration that they are apparently respectable wit¬ 
nesses, and persons of character, and may, probably, 
from the nature of the part assigned them, perform 
quarantine in the pillory. 

Demont is ready to swear that she left the service 

because the Q.... was jealous of her with B.i, 

should you approve of it; or will, if it is deemed pru¬ 
dent, make affidavit that, disgusted with what she 
saw, she requested leave to quit, in which case it will 
be necessary for her to swear, that Bron is not her 
sister, which she can, as she says, very properly recon¬ 
cile to her conscience, by a double entendre, affirming, 
that it is a wise child who knows its own father. 
Excuse me, my Lord, for offering advice, but I think 

you had better consult the Duke of C_upon 



this subject. Should the enclosed copies of affidavits 
not be approved of, I shall feel honored by your com¬ 
municating, confidentially, what you think it most 
advantageous they should swear to, and make no 
doubt of their ready compliance with your wishes. 

I have the honor to be. 

My Lord, kc. kc. 

T 0 L...C .. B. 

My dear Colonel , 

During the indisposition of L. C. I am under 
the necessity of addressing you, although I ought, 
h J divine permission, to be in attendance at the 
Blackheath Missionary Meeting ; but piety must some¬ 
times give place to business. 

Your favors have all been duly received. The 

A.y G.1, however, thinks you have not 

made sufficient evidence. You must procure, if pos- 
sible, three witnesses to the positive commission of 

adultery; and nine, at least, to swear away B.’s 

general character. In Turkey it is thought most 
advisable to lay the scene; if, however, the Q,.... 
should never have sojourned there, you must then, 
and then only, lay it in Palestine; and, although I 
feel a little religious awe at making it take place in 
the Holy Land, I nevertheless see the policy and 

necessity of doing so, provided her M.y has 

never passed the Turkish frontier. Be very par¬ 
ticular in examining the evidence you obtain; mind 
they must swear point blank to the fact; be equally 


particular in impressing upon them the necessity of 
not swearing against their consciences; impress this 
upon them most strongly, and endeavour to strike 
out some way of introducing it in evidence. At any 
rate, however, procure the three witnesses; you have 
full powers to purchase them at any price. I regret 
to finish this letter so abruptly; but, as it is now the 
appointed hour for family prayer, I cannot conscien¬ 
tiously tarry with thee any longer. 

I am. Sir, &c. &c. 

To Colonel B ...... y 

My dear Charles, 

L... --wrote you the other day, I hope 

his letter has safely arrived. Act, with respect to 
evidence, as the Quaker advised his son with regard 
to money, “ My son get money honestly if thou 

u cans k but be sure get money.” His M.y has, 

I regret to say, placed us in a most awkward predica¬ 
ment ; we are martyrs to the cause, and if we are not 
burnt like the first reformers, our places are never¬ 
theless at stake by the daring efforts of the primitive 
reformers descendants. The ministry is, I assure you, 
in a most alarming condition. We have been on the 
ways and means, this fortnight, ineffectually; and, 
from the sorry figures we cut in finance, I should 
alipost imagine that some few of us were cyphers, if 
a perfect knowledge of our own abilities did not ex¬ 
clude the possibility. Van proposed to work the 
go\einment by steam , as an economical expedient; 


conceiving, that as we were in hot water, we should 
not require extra firing. This, however, was nega¬ 
tived, the majority considering a grand blow up might 
possibly be the result. 

The worthy Ex. Ch.r proposed, af¬ 

terwards, a few more maniac manoeuvres to raise the 
wind, such as raising taxes without the consent of 
Parliament; but they were all disposed of in the ne¬ 
gative, it being the opinion of most, that, though 
they might raise the wind for a time, an unpleasant 
breeze would be the consequence. Substantial Justice 
then gave his opinion, and wanted to bag the concern 
like a gamekeeper; proposing, under the promise of a 

favorable verdict, to put the affairs of go.t into 

chancery; but, from all we had seen of his Lordship, 
we resolved not to trust to his equity ; therewith my 
Lord was as glum as his loquacity would let him, and 
looked as black as a skipper from the Styx, or a collier 

from the bottomless pit. Dick W.. who saw 

him go out, observed that he looked the very picture 

of his father. C.. as usual, has sneaked out of 

the dilemma; he’s a fellow I never could perfectly 
understand; nature, I believe, ordained us for enemies, 
but circumstances obliged us to unite. The derange¬ 
ment, however, of these circumstances will, I doubt 
not, again place us in our natural position; for if, 
on his return, he finds us in a tottering condition, I 
conclude he will range himself under the opposition 
banners, and play second pill to Tierney, as he has 
hitherto done to me. His compliment to the Q... n, 
though merited, was certainly one of the most ill- 
timed pieces of rascality, that ever the villain brought 


forth, little inferior in mischief to the Walcheren 
venom, which, if you recollect, he issued in such a 
copious quantity of abuse. I will, however, write 
you further particulars when I see him; do you, in 
the mean time, use your best exertions for our united 

Your’s, &c. 


The Lord of the Manor of Hello, versus Majochi, 
JDemont, SfC. &f. 

This was an action brought by the above Lord 
against the before-mentioned defendants, for a tres¬ 
pass upon property, situate, lying, and being within 
the circle of his domain. 

The A.G.. as counsel for the plaintiff, 

opened the case as follows: 

My Lord and Gentlemen of the Jury, 

I am, in this case, counsel for the Lord of 
Hello, a Lord of the greatest power and influence; 
whose power is only equalled by the warmth of his 
nature, and whose territories can boast the residence 
of most of the ministers of state, now no more; and 
anticipates, without a particle of doubt, the future 
society of those at present in power; not only, my 
Lord, on account of the genial heat of the atmosphere, 
but from the high estimation in which the government 
of the plaintiff is held by all the leading authorities; 
arising, I believe, from distant relationship, some near 


similarity of character, or from the ministers I allude 
to being in the pay of my honorable client. These 
circumstances are mentioned, not with any idea of 
alluring you. Gentlemen of the Jury, into a verdict, 
but from a desire to display to the world the high 
respectability of the party I plead for. It appears, 
my Lord, by my brief, that within the territories of 
Hello is a small property, vulgarly and commonly 
called Perjury; which, from all evidence collected on 
the subject, appears to be the sole and undoubted pro¬ 
perty of the Lord, my client, more particularly as it 
is one of the high roads leading to the Court of 

L-. Suffice it, however, tp say, that it has been the 

property of the Lord of Hello, aforesaid, time out of 
mind, whereto the memory of man or devil reacheth 

Now it appears. Gentlemen of the Jury, that the 
defendants, aware of these circumstances, not having 
the fear of the Devil before their eyes, did wilfully, 
and with the worst intention, trespass as aforesaid, 
upon the aforesaid property of perjury, which is the 
exclusive right of my honorable client and his hot- 
born or naturalized subjects; and, not only. Gentle¬ 
men of the Jury, did they trespass, but with all the 
licentiousness of natives, they rioted and revelled on 
the premises. 

For all these circumstances I beg to lay affidavits 
before the court, sworn by persons of high trust in 
the courts below; and who, being obliged to give 
their attention to the furnace of my client, are incapaci¬ 
tated from attending personally before your Lordship, 
j shall now close my case, in the full confidence that 


the Gentlemen of the Jury, with their accustomed 
correctness and ability, will find a favorable verdict. 

The learned counsel here sat down, when the 
S.G.. as counsel for the defendants, im¬ 

mediately rose and addressed the court as follows: 

My Lord, and you Gentlemen of the Jury, 

I feel a peculiar pleasure in coinciding with my 
learned brother, in the high and merited encomiums 
he has thought proper to pass upon his honorable 
client. I can assure the court that my heart accom¬ 
panies my voice in affirming, that whenever I retire 
from my present employment, I shall take up my 
residence in the dominions of the Lord of the manor 
alluded to. 

1 am willing to coincide, that my clients were seen 
repeatedly rioting upon the property of the Lord; but 
I argue, my Lord, that they had a right, A natura et 
lege, to the advantages of the path; for I contend 
that, perjury is the King's highway, and belongs not 
exclusively to the Lord of the Manor of Hello ; and, 
although I am aware it leads direct to his capital, yet 
am confident it is not his, solely, to the entire ex¬ 
clusion of the world; and, although, my Lord, I am 
not prepared to prove that any one has ever been seen 
there, who was not a native or subject, I yet affirm 
that any one has a right to make use of perjury, though 
few may think proper to avail themselves of the 

But, my Lord, I do not rest my defence altogether 
upon this; I have another plea, still more substantial. 
I am ready, my Lord, to prove, that the defendants 


are all naturalized subjects of the Lord of Hello; 
and therefore have a right, by the confession of my 
learned brother, to make inroads, or, what he terms* 
trespasses upon perjury. 

The counsel here handed the proofs, and was im¬ 
mediately told by the learned judge, that after such 
conclusive evidence, it was unnecessary to continue 
his speech. 

The court then broke up, and the A.G. 

went to H-, to acquaint his client with the cir¬ 

cumstances; where he will, no doubt, meet with a 
warm reception. 


Oh I have dream’d a dream, as horrid as myself! 

I thought my soul was on the brink of Hell, 

Which roar’d with drowning spirits of the damn’d. 
Who, murmuring, mutter’d that my hour was come. 
Methought I caught a glimpse of purer skies. 

And saw my slander’d father, good K ... G., 

Who cried aloud, “ What scourge for calumny 
Can hell’s dark monarchy afford false Clarence.” 

And so he vanish’d. Then came the spirit 
Of society’s bright ornament and grace, 

In widow’d weeds, as though she’d lost her lord; 

She held a crown, but vainly tried to wear it. 

For when she wish’d to place it on her head. 

Some hell-born brat, some strong satanic hand. 

Used its infernal power and ghastly grinned : 

When looking upon me she shrieked aloud, 

“ Clarence is come, hell’s antichrist, cursed Clarence f ’ 


Then mild and meek she wept her desperate fate. 

Like persecution’s victim when at prayer; 

Her eye was as the heaven’s reflection bright. 

When God descended first to walk with man; 

Then, suddenly, methought she started and exclaim’d, 
“ Sieze on him, furies, let him damn alone, 

“ Or foulest hell he will contaminate.” 

With that she wing’d her flight to Paradise. 

Then rose a sound, as soft as music on the wave. 

Like Jordan’s river murmuring in bliss; 

Methought the stream in sorrow sighed for me. 
Entreating heaven for mercy undeserved. 

Which made me feel ingiatitude was mine. 

For I had heard that voice in days of yore. 

Had lived upon the sweetness of the sound. 

Yet let it die in beggary and want. 

That too was quickly gone. Then came 
The last, the worst, the dreadfullest of all; 

The picture lives engraven still, for then. 

The roaring Styx roll’d mountains high. 

And from the breakers burst a monstrous fiend. 

Most hideous in form, most horrible to hear; 
Methought it sprung upon me as its prey; 

And then. Oh horrid thought! I felt that I was damn’d. 
And damning, felt, that I deserved it all. 

Soliloquy of King Richard 4th. 


Now is the winter, which so nips our phiz. 

Made smoking summer by the roasting sun! 

Now all the icicles, which hung upon our nose. 

Run dripping like the porous filtering stone ! 



Old H.t sweats like dumplings in a pot. 

And fat men melt like butter in the sun; 

And I, that am not shap’d for active sports. 

Nor made to cram my carcase in a quill; 

I that am blubber chop’d, and want love’s majesty 
To prove that I am King by grace of God; 

I that am like a bloated piece of tripe. 

Sent from a greasy stall but half tied up. 

And that so lamely and unfashionable. 

That dogs now lick their chops as I halt by. 

Enter Y. 

But stop, here comes our brother. 

How fares our cousin, noble Lord of Y. ? 

Y. —As piping hot as beef before a fire, 

And gross and greasy as the scum of soup. 

Heard you the news, my liege ? 

The Q ... . is on the seas. 

Rich. 4 th. —There let her sink, and be the seas on her; 

Or if she don’t, then must I sink myself. 

Or float like putrid bodies in a pond. 

Y. —But what, my liege, if swimmingly she comes 
And places foot Upon our English shore ? 

Rich. 4f/t,—Chop off her head, man; somewhat we will do 

To leave the Q_we loath, without a crown. 

Now hie thee to the troops, look to the mob; 

And should their vulgar souls breath forth seditious words. 
Let fly upon the fools, and send their souls. 

Like holy cullenders to Paradise. 

At twelve we hold a counsel, be thou there. 

Remember twelve. (exeunt). 


Othello’s, alias M . ’s Address to the Venetian 


Most reverend, Iearn’d, and potent Signors, 

Tliat I have sworn most falsely, is most true; 

But that I ought have said, save for some sovereign cause, 
I utterly deny; and if the cause was flimsy, flimsy let itbe. 
’Tis true I fatten’d upon royalty. 

And slug-like slimed the flower I fed upon. 

As which of you has not ? Have you not all 
Received your food from royalty’s right hand ? 

Which royalty you’ve blighted by your acts. 

In what, then, differ some of you from me ? 

Alike we are in every thing but this, 

I lost my conscience when I lost my place. 

And you have lost your’s, previously; 

But bow long previous, God alone can tell. 

Extract from the Satanic Gazette. 

We regret to state that the court of his Majesty 
has lately been thrown into great confusion, by a most 
atrocious attempt, on the part of a fly, to deprive his 
most infernal Majesty, of the use of his imperial eye¬ 
sight. The attempt, we are happy to state, proved 
unsuccessful, and the country and constitution have 
testified, in the most lively manner, their feelings 
upon the miraculous escape. The following is a copy 
of a congratulatory address upon the occasion, with 
his Majesty’s most gracious reply. 


/ • ' 


May it please your Majesty, vouchsafe, receive 
Addresses from your Subjects, who by your leave. 
Detesting all that crawl o’er Majesty, 

With horror view that sacrilegious fly 
Who dared to put his foot into your eye. 

We wait, most gracious Sire, but your commands. 

To place the traitor in the Hangman’s hands; 

And hang, draw, quarter, and unheart the wight. 

Who hating all that’s high and bright. 

Would clap a shutter on your window light. 

His Majesty then, as usual, knighted the 
Speaker, and delivered the following reply: 

My Lords and Gentlemen , 

It is with peculiar satisfaction I now receive 
this fresh proof of loyalty and devotedness to the head 
of government 

In these disastrous times, when the agents of 
anarchy enlist under their banners myriads of flies to 
blind the luminous organs of majesty, it is, more than 
ever, requisite that the monarch should mind his eye. 
Whilst, however, the cankerworm of sedition is gnaw¬ 
ing at the root of liberty, it is in no way astonishing 
that treason should take wing. 

Gentlemen of the lower Mouse, 

Should a temporary suspension of our liberties 
be indispensably requisite to the welfare of society, I 
rely- with perfect confidence on your loyalty and af¬ 
fection ; convinced as you must be that fresh and 
increasing treason is brought to life and light when¬ 
ever a fly’s egg is hatched into existence. 

The company then kissed hands and retired, 
charmed with his Majesty’s most gracious demeanour. 



How soft blooms the lily upon the lone mountain 
When bending in beauty it hangs o’er the stream; 
When glowing in dew, the dew drops in the fountain 
Like the tears of the sea-nymph, when seen in a dream. 

2 . 

Yet sweeter by far was the mountaineer’s daughter 
Whose light fairy feet, danc’d the emerald green. 

Or reflecting she tied her black hair by the water 
Where in duplicate beauty, that beauty was seen. 


Now willow-like, weeping, she mourns the defeat. 

The Peterloo field the M ........ r slaughter 

Yet as mild and as meek, as endearingly sweet 
As the pale maiden moon, when reflected in water. 


Dear Sir, 

Enclosed is a letter written by a poetical un¬ 
derling of a palace in the black court of Hay ti, which 
as you are about publishing such literary articles, 
may not be unacceptable. 

I never have, in all my life. 

Seen such infernal dastard strife 
As here about bears sway; 

About that devil and his wife 
Whose thread he’d cut with cord or knife 
Or any other way. 

2 . 

The place which some a palace think. 

Is now more like that pot-house sink 


Just close to Puddle Dock; 

The K... most royally is drunk. 

Six legal quarts roll in his trunk 
Of best unpaid-for hock. 


His liquor’d phiz is fully ripe 
And looks like bloated royal tripe 
Which painters paint in jest; 

Yet H .... r, w o has drunk his Punch, 
Says he’s the best of all the bunch 
Tho’ bad, he says, is best. 


The vilest scenes are nothing here. 

There’s C.. .’s, base minded peer. 

Has horn’d his own bull head: 

Of men, like these, we keep a score. 

Who listen at the bed-room door 
Or stand beside the bed. 


At our request their wives they bring. 

And smooth the pillow for the king. 

Or loose their lady’s band; 

Or drink their tea when he’s begun. 

And thank their Sovereign when he’s done 
And kiss the royal hand. 

6 . 

Then keep a-loof, or never blame 
The writer, for your loss of fame 

By R.y or state ; 

For sure as e’er you see the K..., 

Your ruin in his hand he’ll bring. 

Then leave you to your fate. 

Your’s, &c. 



Dear Sir , 

A celebrated poet has forwarded you a copy 
of a letter, which accidentally came to his hands. I 
feel induced, from the manner in which it was received, 
to transmit you a little popular song, fashionable with 
the Q.friends. 

The breath of Heav’n has breath’d its last 
Vile slander’s now in power. 

And blows it’s keen and withering blast 
To blight the royal flower. 

2 . 

Oh! for a Brutus staunch and true. 

To stab her tyrant foes. 

And extirpate the reptile crew. 

Who blight the royal rose, 


Tho’ slander wears a ducal crown, 

Or runs in R... 1 blood. 

In Jordan’s stream the wretch shall drown 
And never pass the flood. 

Your’s, &c. &c. 



Dear Sir , 

From the very polite manner in which my 
last letter, enclosing a song, was received, I feel in¬ 
duced to trouble you with a second, which I trust may 
not prove unacceptable. 




Had Caroline liv’d in the days of the Dane, 

The battle-nursed bravo, the ruthless invader. 

He’d have shipwreck’d his hopes, on the rock rolling main 
Ere his war-wedded soul would have ever betrayed her. 

2 , 

But the Palace-bred Prince, the high prided Peer, 

Has sipp’d and has flown like a Bee from a flower; 

Yet conscience shall haunt the cold coward with fear. 

And sternly proclaim its unlimited power. 


Let hatred and horror be ever the doom 

Of that sable-soul’d villain who seeks to ensnare; 

Let curses like kindred attend at the tomb 
Of that foul hearted fiend who can slander the fair. 


Let lightning, from high, blast the reptile career 
Of that cankering worm and its withering power. 

Who revels in riot o’er beauty’s soft tear. 

And blights in the blossom. Love’s loveliest flower. 

Letter to the Author , from a Gentleman 
in Office. 

My Dear Sir, 

I shall feel most happy to contribute any thing 
in my power, and if my ability was equal to my 
power of obtaining information, might be of essential 
service. I will, however, do as you request, upon the. 
condition that my name is a secret. 


Lord C.h is by birth and education a 

gentleman; in manners and appearance an accom¬ 
plished courtier; in dress more dashing than neat; 
and in conversation rather free than reserved. His 
first specimens of political diplomacy were seen in 
Ireland, where, by his conduct, he ruined a character 
which no magnanimous action can ever repair, and 
which no atrocity in future will ever have the power 
to blacken. He lives in the memory of the Irish, 
as an adultress in the opinion of her husband; an 
object of sorrow and regret, or of hatred and disgust. 
In ability he soars above mediocrity, but is far inferior 
to the mountain minds of many who surround him. 
He has a soft kind of shrewdness, more calculated to 
baffle and parry than to thrust, the cunning acuteness 
of diplomacy without the commanding talent of the 
statesman, a talent more suited for evasion than ar¬ 
gument, for a defence than attack for a retreat rather 
than a charge. His abilities are confined, but as far 
as they extend are wonderfully clear, in which he re¬ 
sembles the transparent shallow little rivulet, in op¬ 
position to the tremendous unfathomable deep. As 
an orator he is neither alpha nor omega, he is pleasant 
at first, but tiresome before he finishes; the same sense 
is constantly repeated in different words, and he 
always evinces a greater inclination to fly from, than 
to face an argument, using all his talent to lead his 
hearers from the subject; endeavouring to attract 
attention and prolong his speech by expatiating on 
airy and indifferent topics, and by tiring the patience 
of his opponents, to make them lose their argumen¬ 
tative thread of discourse. 



With respect to Mr. V... .t, who is more in¬ 

clined to the chapel than the church, I must candidly 
say, I hold him not to be so good as he thinks him¬ 
self, yet better than most he herds with. In com¬ 
parison with the gentleman above, he is “ a plain 
blunt man.” His peculiar fort is finance; and he is, 
upon the whole, a respectable Financier. His ability 
does not indeed take the gigantic strides of statesmen, 
now no more ; but he endeavours to follow, with un¬ 
deviating steps, the beaten tract of his superior prede¬ 
cessors. He is more a solid than a brilliant man, and 
partakes rather the qualities of the pudding than the 
diamond. He is, I consider, rather a follower than a 
leader in the cabinet, and was an involuntary com¬ 
panion in the late infamy of ministers, rather than a 
willing and forward commander. For this, his weak¬ 
ness may plead some little palliation, though it by 
no means excludes him from that merited share of 
odium, in which every cabinet minister must partici¬ 
pate. This gentleman, feeling his inadequacy to 
speak in public with pleasure to others, or satis¬ 
faction to himself, only rises in cases of absolute 
necessity; when he does, however, he displays the 
huskiness without the sweetness of the nut. 

On quitting Mr. V.11 come to Lord E ... n, 

who has risen, by study and talent, from one of the 
lowest to the highest possible situations; and is a me¬ 
morable instance of what rank may be attained by 
studious ability. As a judge in the Court of Chancery, 
he has generally pronounced the most satisfactory 
decisions; and if he has not been as expeditious as 
some, the delay may possibly, in many cases, have 


been advantageous to the ends of justice. He is 
a deep, rattier than a quick man ; strongly proving 
the truth of the saying, that “ Still waters run deep.” 
I regret, exceedingly, that as a minister I cannot view 
him in such a favorable light; I do not here allude to 
any thing but the late transactions with the Q. . .n, 
and cannot at all reconcile his present conduct, when 
I contrast it with past circumstances. I fear he has, 
like other ministers, thought place a less evil than 
conscience; and has, therefore, chosen the first at the 
expence of the latter. His manner of speaking is 
grave rather than impressive, with a mongrel kind of 
tone, something between the drawl of the methodists 
and the authorative sameness of a court; distinguished, 
however, by a little North-country smatch, which, 
like the Scotch accent, gives an apparent tartness to 
remark, and in many cases conveys considerable point 
in an observation, which, unbrogued, might very pro* 
bably pass unnoticed. 

I regret that at this time I cannot furnish you with 
any further remarks, but shall feel most happy to do 
so at a future time, should you think proper to re¬ 
quest it. 

Believe me your’s, truly, 


W. Gilbert, Printer, Salters-Kall Court, Cannon Street, London. 



L Letter from Mr. P.... to Mr. C.. k.... 5 

2. Ditto from Lord C. an Ambassador .. 7 

3. Ditto from Lord Lord S... ... 9 

4. Ditto from Colonel Lord C.. 12 

5. Ditto from Mr. V .to Colonel B. 14 

6 . Ditto from Lord C.. to Lord S. 15 

7- Case of the Lord of the Manor of Hello, versus Majochi, 

Demont, &c. &c.... .. 17 

S. Clarence's Dream, from Shakspeare ... 20 

9. King Richard the 4tb, from Shakspeare. 21 

10. Othello's, alias Majochi's Speech to the Senate. 23 

11. Extracts from the Satanic Gazette; containing Particulars 

of an Address to his most Infernal Majesty, with his 

gracious Reply...,.. 23 

12. The Manchester Hymn ... 25 

13. Poetical Letter from a living Poet... 25 

14. Ditto ditto ditto . 27 

15. Ditto ditto ditto ... 27 

l£. Characterestie Letter, from a Gentleman in Office............ 28 








ISg ®8tUItam of Salisbury. 

Respondit autem et dixit ad earn: Egredere hinc; non sumns idonei ad 
invicem, neque enim corda nostra sub voluntate nostra sunt; et ego non 
amo te. Tunc assumpsit infantulam suarn, disce^sit tristis. 

Gulielmus Salishuriensis in Chronico Abomileclii . Cap . 1. 



1820 . * 

Price One Shilling . 

Molineux^ Printer , 5 * Bream's Buildings , 
Chancery Lane . 


The following pages are a translation from a Latin manu¬ 
script, which by accident fell into the hands of the Editor a few 
months ago. This manuscript bears the name of William of 
Salisbury, who was probably a monk, or a person connected 
with the scholastic establishments of his day. The Latin, as the 
learned reader will perceive from the subjoined specimen, is in the 
style of the middle ages, which bears a strong resemblance to that 
of the vulgate translation of the Bible. From this circumstance 
alone, the translator has been induced to imitate the style of the 
English translation of the Bible, and not for the purpose of paro¬ 
dying, or bringing into ridicule the contents of that sacred volume, 
than which nothing could be more repugnant to his feelings, 
or more foreign to his intentions. 

The story, probably, was. composed for the purpose of re¬ 
cording the improper conduct of some king of the Author’s own 
times. Late events, however, it was conceived, might render it 
interesting to the readers of the present day. 

The following specimen of the Author’s latinity will enable 
our readers to judge whether or not we have donp justice to our 



“ Et dixit ad servos suos: Nunc quoniam pater meus /lex 
non potest amplius me prohibere , auferam a muliere ista Jiliam 
suam; et statim jussit illis adducere earn ad se . 

u Postquam autem venerunt ad puellam regiam, et tradi - 
derunt illi mandata patris sui, ipsa ingressa est ad matrem suam, 
et jlevit amare, et pependit in collo matris suce et dixit: O mater 
mea, mater mea, ego volo mori tecum; isti nequaquam auferent 
ma” Gulielmus Salisburiensis in Chronico Abomilechi, Cap . 1 . 

The translator has several other curious and interesting 
manuscripts by the same Author, which he intends to lay before 
the public; but as the vellum has sustained considerable injury 
from being exposed to the damp, they will take some time to 
decypher. They are, however, in the hands of a gentleman, 
well acquainted with Sir Humphrey Davy’s process, and who was 
for some years employed in unrolling the manuscripts of Hercu¬ 
laneum, and he assures us, that they are in a state of great for¬ 


To prevent imposition, it may be necessary to inform 
the public, that the genuine works of William of Salisbury 
will be published only by Mr, Dolby* 


tCfnonirlc of fUiomilcdj. 

Chap. I. 

1 Abomilech walketh not in the steps of the King his Father. 
3 He humhleth himself before his Father 9 and promiseth re¬ 
pentance. 5 Abomilech taketh unto himself a Wife. 7 She 

beareth unto him a Daughter. 9 He putteth away his 
Wife , and taketh her Child from her. 12 He accuseth her of 
Adultery . 17 She journeyeth unto a far Country, and the 

Daughter of Abomilech marrieth. 

T*TOW the Kin 


the father of Abomilech, 

had many sons and many daughters; but 

Abomilech was his first born. 

2 And Abomilech walked not in the steps 
of his father who was beloved in the land, but 



Abomilech humbletk himself before his Father . 

was given to riotous living, and lusted after 
strange women. 

3 f And, lo! when he had spent all his 
substance, he went unto his father and fell upon 
his knees, and said unto him; O, father, I have 
seen the error of my ways, and repent me of 
my misdoings; give unto me money whereby 
I may pay those to whom I am indebted, and 
henceforward I will obey thee in all things. 

4 And his father said unto him, Son, 
thou hast been much to blame, and sinned 
greatly before the Lord, and in the eyes of the 
people; nevertheless, if thou wilt take unto thy¬ 
self a wife, and, forsaking all others, cleave unto 
her alone, I will call upon the elders and chief 
men of the land, and thy debts shall be paid. 



Abomilech taketh unto himself a Wife. 

5 II And Abomilech said unto him, I con¬ 
sent ; and he sought unto himself a wife from 
amongst his father’s kindred; and presents of 
gold and presents of silver were sent unto her 
upon whom his choice had fallen, a damsel of 
comely appearance, and one who was much 
beloved on account of her many virtues. 

6 But Abomilech’s heart still lusted after 
strange women, and he went not out to meet 
his spouse to conduct her to his father’s house, 
but sent one of his concubines, a woman of 
a wicked heart, who told him lies and per¬ 
suaded him that she was not worthy of his 

7 ! Nevertheless he took her unto his 
house, and she bore unto him a daughter; but 
while the child was yet young and sucked at 



He putteth away his Wife . 

the breast of its mother, Abomilech said unto 
his wife, get thee out of my house, I have 
no further need of thee. 

8 And she wept bitterly, and said unto 
him, What have I done that thou shouldst treat 
me thus ? Have I not left father and mother, 
brother and sister, and travelled unto a strange 
land, forsaking my country, my home, and my 
kindred, for thy sake ? 

9 ! But he answered and said unto her, 
Get thee gone, nature has not made us for one 
another, our inclinations are not in our power, 
and I love thee not: and she took up her child 
and departed, sorrowing. 

10 And she went unto the father of Abo¬ 
milech and told him what had happened, and 



He accuseth her of Adultery. 

he was exceedingly angry at the conduct of 
his wicked son; but he said unto her, Dry up 
thy tears and be of good cheer, for no further 
wrong shall come unto thee, and he soothed her 
sufferings and comforted her. 

11 Now, when Abomilech saw that the 
child was a comfort and blessing to its mother, 
his heart was troubled, and he said unto his 
slaves, Take away the child from her and bring 
it unto me; but the King waxed exceeding 
wroth, and said, It should not be so. 

12 H Then Abomilech placed spies about 
his wife, who went unto the j udges and elders 
of the people, and said, Lo, the wife of the 
young Prince has committed adultery: and the 
wise men after having heard their accusations, 
and made diligent inquiry, declared, that they 




The King becometh unable to rule . 

had borne false witness against the Princess, 
and were not to be believed. 

13 Now after these things the King be¬ 
came unable to govern on account of his in¬ 
firmities, and Abomilech ruled in his stead. 

14 And the Princess, having lost the 
good old King, who had preserved her from 
the anger of her cruel husband, and been unto 
her as a father, became exceedingly alarmed, 
for Abomilech’s heart was cruel and unfor¬ 

15 And he said unto his slaves, Now 
that the King my father can no longer hinder 
me, I will take from this woman her daughter; 
and immediately he commanded them to bring 
her unto him. 



The Queen journeyetli into a distant Land. 

16 And when they came unto the young 
Princess, and delivered unto her the commands 
of her father, she went unto her mother and 
wept bitterly, and she hung upon her mother’s 
neck, and cried, O my mother, my mother, I 
will die with thee; they shall not take me 

17 Nevertheless they forced her away, 
and carried her unto her father ; and when she 
came unto him she fell upon her knees, and 
begged that she might not be separated from her 
mother; but his heart was hardened, and he 
listened not unto her prayers, neither could her 
tears avail her aught. 

18 And the wife of Abomilech, fearing 
lest peradventure etil should come unto her, 
yielded unto the advice of her counsellors, and 



The Daughter of Abomileck marrieth. 

departed and travelled into distant countries, 
and amongst strange people. 

19 f Now it came to pass that the 
daughter of Abomilech, having grown up a 
comely maiden, was given in marriage to a 
Prince of the name of Agag, 



Chap. II. 

2 The young Princess declareth that the 'people should be 
judged as they were of old. 5 Abomilech casteth the pro¬ 
phets into prison. 6 The daughter of Abomilech becometh 
with child . 9 Abomilech being much troubled, consulteth with 
his mother, Jezebel, who persuadeth him to put his daughter out 
of the way . 13 He holdeth counsel with a false prophet and 

a wicked physician. 17 The Princess bring eth forth a dead 
child f after which she dieth . 19 Great moanings and lamenta¬ 

tions in the land. 20 The physician killeth himself. 28 Great 
distress in the land. 30 The men of Abomilech slay great Clum¬ 
bers of the people . 

jyow the people of the land were much 
pleased to hear this, for they loved the 
young maiden, and they said unto themselves, 
She will bear unto us a son that shall reign 
over us. 

2 Moreover she had declared, that when 
she became their ruler she would call from 



Abomilech casteth the Prophets into Prison. 

amongst them their elders and their wise men, 
that the people might be governed by men of 
their own choice, as it had been in the days 
of their forefathers. 

3 Now for all these things she was 
greatly beloved in the land, but her father, 
Abomilech, loved her not. 

4 His heart was led astray by wicked 
counsellors and false prophets, who had pro¬ 
phesied unto him lies. 

5 f And the prophets who had prophesied 
unto him truth he cast into prison, and the 
land groaned with his cruelties and abomina¬ 

6 Now it came to pass that the daughter 



He consulteth with his Mother Jezebel. 


of Abomilech was near unto the time of child¬ 

7 And when Abomilech heard this his 
heart was troubled, for he hated his daughter 
more and more, because she was a friend to 
the poor, and beloved by the people; more¬ 
over, he knew that her heart yearned towards 
her mother. 

8 Now Abomilech said unto himself, If 
she should bear a child, and do well, the people 
will not consent that I should put away my 
wife and take another, for they will say, Where¬ 
fore should he do so, seeing we shall not want 
Princes to reign over us. 

9 ! And he consulted with his mother, 
Jezebel, a woman of a hard and wicked heart, 
who hated his wife and his wife’s daughter. 



Abomilech counselleth with a wicked Physician . 

10 And he said unto her, O my mother, 
what shall I do, my soul is much troubled? 
O that I could take unto myself another Avife, 
that should bear unto me a son to till the throne 
of my father. 

11 Then Jezebel said unto him, Thou 
must get thy daughter removed out of the way, 
for if she bear a child the people will not con¬ 
sent that thou shouldst put away thy wife. 

12 And Abomilech called unto his counsel 
a false prophet, of the tribe of Dan , who had 
daily, for many years, prophesied lies unto the 
people from his dwelling place, near the den 
of wild beasts, in the midst of the great city. 

13 f Now when this false prophet had 
counselled with Abomilech, they called unto 
them a cunning, wicked man from a strange 




He sendeth presents unto the false Prophet . 

land, skilled in herbs, one who had, for hire, 
administered unto the sick poisonous medicines. 

14 And, lo! Abomilech was well pleased 
with their counsel, and he sent unto the false 
prophet the royal services of silver and of gold 
that had been taken from his wife before she 
journeyed into a distant country. 

15 Then they communed with another 
man learned in medicine, whom the young 
Princess had appointed to wait upon her in her 
travail, and him, by their witchcraft and wicked 
arts, they persuaded to join with them in their 
evil doings. 

16 And the midwife they also brought into 
{heir counsel. 

17 Now when the hour drew near that 
the Princess should be delivered of her first- 



AbomilecKs Daughter dieth. 

born, the physician and the midwife waited 
upon her, and she brought forth a dead child. 

18 And behold they gave unto her a 
potion, on which her stomach became disorder¬ 
ed, and she died. 

19 On hearing these things the land was 
filled with moanings and lamentations; and the 
people covered themselves with sackcloth and 
ashes, for their grief was exceedingly great. 

20 And, lo! on the day of her burial, the 
exchanges were shut up, and the Merchants 
bought and sold not, neither were their ships 
unladen, but all the people fasted and went into 
the temples and humbled themselves before the 



Abomilech is sorely afraid. 

21 f Now Abomilech’s heart was smitten 
with fear, so much so, that he durst not sleep in 
his bed alone, for his conscience was sorely 
stricken, and he feared lest his great wickedness 
should become known unto the people. 

22 And he was so exceedingly troubled, 
that he ordered more guards to be placed 
around his house and on the roof thereof, lest 
peradventure evil should come unto him. 

23 Now his chamber in which he slept 
was lighted with lamps, so that even in the 

middle of the night its light was equal to that 
of the day, and a servant, who slept not, was 
placed at the door; yet was his soul afraid, for 
he saw in his dreams the spirit of his depart¬ 
ed daughter. 



The Physician killeth himself. 

24 Then he said unto his brother, O my 
brother, come thou and sleep with me, for I am 
sorely troubled, and his brother did as he com¬ 
manded him. 

25 Nevertheless he turned not from his 
wicked ways, and continued persecuting the 
prophets of truth and the friends of the people 

26 Now it came to pass that the man 
learned in medicine, whom the young Princess 
had appointed to wait upon her in her travail, 
became sorely troubled, insomuch, that when he 
sat down to meat he would cry out in the bitter¬ 
ness of his soul, I cannot bear it, I cannot bear 
it; and he went out and killed himself. 

21 f And the wicked physician from the 



The Midwife and wicked Physician are slain. 

strange land, and the midwife, were slain at the 
command of the false prophet, that no one 
might be left to bear witness against him. 

28 And it came to pass that the land, 
because of the wickedness of its rulers, was 
overrun by a famine, and the distress of the 
people was very great 

29 Now when the people met together in 
great numbers to send up their prayers to 
Abomilech, that they might be governed as they 
were in the days of their forefathers, he said 
unto his armed men, Go ye amidst them with 
your drawn swords, and spare them not. 

30 And, lo! the people had no arms 
wherewith to defend themselves, and great 



Great numbers of the people arc put to deathi 

was the slaughter which the men of Abomi- 
lech made, for they spared not the young nor 
the old, neither the mother, nor the child at the 
mother’s breast. 

31 ! Now those of the people that escaped 
from the sword, and were taken captive, were 
cast into prison; and Abomilech thanked his men 
for the slaughter they had made; but the people 
hated him more and more, and their wroth 
waxed exceedingly great. 


Chap. III. 

1 Abomilech sendeth spies after his wife. 2 The old King dieth. 
4 The people murmur exceedingly on account of their great dis¬ 
tress. 6 Abomilech buildeth high places after the manner of 
the Gentiles. 13 He offereth his wife silver and gold. 15 She 
refuseth it f and returneth to her people. 16 Great rejoicings in 
the land. 17 Abomilech commandetk the Elders to condemn 
the Queen. 22 He feareth to remain in the land. 29 The 
people curse him. 

A ND it came to pass that after the death 
of the young Princess, her mother hav¬ 
ing no one to protect her, Abomilech sent spies 
into the lands in which his wife sojourned, who 
reported unto him lies. 

2 Now the King being well stricken in 
years, and borne down by his many infirmi- 



Abomilech is proclaimed King. 

ties, died, and was buried in the chief sepulchre 
of his fathers, and Abomilech was proclaimed 
King in his stead. 

3 And he did that which was evil in the 
sight of the Lord, setting at nought the statutes 
and ordnances which had been delivered unto the 
people in the days of their forefathers. 

4 And behold even on the day that the 
King was gathered unto his fathers, Abomilech 
sent for one of the servants of his wife who 
had betrayed his mistress, and said unto him, 
Swear falsely against this woman, and I will 
abundantly reward thee with silver and gold. 

5 Now Abomilech cared not for the words 
of his daughter which she had said while living, 
O, my father, my father, do unto me as thou 



He buildeth high places after the manner of the Gentiles. 

pleasest, but let no further wrong be done unto 
my mother. 

6 At this time the distress of the land was 
very great, and the people murmured exceed¬ 
ingly at the extravagance of their rulers, but 
Abomilech minded them not. 

7 And he called unto him cunning work¬ 
men in ivory and in brass, and with the money 
of the people he built him temples and high 
places, after the manner of the Heathen nations; 
and his abominations were great in the eyes of 
the people, because of his extortions and his 

8 f Moreover he built him palaces like 
unto the Eastern nations such as had never 
been seen in the land before. 




The Wise Men laugh him to scorn . 

9 And, lo! he ornamented them with 
graven and molten images of Dragons and of 
Lizards, and the figures of Serpents, and Venom¬ 
ous animals, and all sorts of Strange Beasts. 

10 And the wise men laughed him to 
scorn because of his perverseness and his folly, 
but the people laughed not, for the money by 
which he did these things was taken from them, 
so that they had not wherewith to buy 
bread for themselves, and their wives, and 
little ones. 

11 Now when the wife of Abomilech heard 
of the death of the old King, she said unto 
herself, I will return unto my kingdom and be 
crowned with the King my husband. 

12 But when Abomilech heard it he was 



He offereth his Wife money. 

exceedingly angry, and he commanded the 
priests not to offer up prayers for her in the 
temples of the Lord, for said he, She has com¬ 
mitted adultery; but the people believed not his 

13 And behold the Queen being on her 
journey homewards, the King became greatly 
troubled, and he said unto his slaves, Go, and 
offer her money, even fifty thousand pieces of 
gold yearly, and persuade her to return, for if 
she come hither the people will be following 
after her, and we shall be undone. 

14 And they did as Abomilech bade 


15 But when the Queen heard what they 
had to say unto her, she was exceedingly angry 



Abomilech comrnandeth the Elders to condemn the Queen. 

and she said, No, I will go unto the people that 
love me, albeit I should suffer death. 

16 And she did even as she had said, and 
great were the rejoicings of the people through¬ 
out all the land. 

17 Then Abomilech gathered together 
the judges and the elders of his kingdom, and 
commanded them to condemn the Queen for 
adultery, that she might be put to death. 

18 And the greater part of them being 
wicked men, and given to all sorts of extor¬ 
tions, abominations, and whoredoms, were will¬ 
ing to do as the King commanded them, and 
said, O King Abomilech, live for ever, we will 
in all things obey thee, for thou art our Lord ? 
our Master, and our God, and besides thee we 
worship no other. 



They sit in Judgment upon her. 

19 But these were not the judges that the 
people had appointed to judge the land, but 
tyrants and usurpers, who ruled the people 
according to their own wills. 

20 And they sat in judgment upon her 
and many were the false witnesses that appear¬ 
ed against her. 

21 H Now the wroth of the people waxed 
exceedingly great against Abomilech and his 
wicked judges. 

22 And Abomilech feared to remain m 
the land lest the people should rise up against 
him and put him to death. 

23 ! Now Abomilech was much given to 
gluttony and strong wine, and he was exceed¬ 
ingly fat, even fatter than Eglon King of Moab? 



He buildeth a ship of curious workmanship. 

who was slain by a dagger that went into his 
belly, so that the fat closed thereon, and the dirt 
came out. 

24 And it came to pass that he went 
unto his palace by the sea side, and commanded 
his slaves to prepare a ship that he might sail 
unto a neighbouring land. 

25 And, lo ! a ship of curious workman¬ 
ship was built, and the masts thereof were made 
of cedar, and the doors and seats thereof of sliit- 
tim wood ; and behold it was ornamented with 
silver and gold, and all sorts of costly things. 

26 f Now when the time drew near that 
Abomilech had fixed upon for his departure, he 
sent to the ship provisions in great quantities, 
bread, and meat, and wine, and delicious fruits. 

27 And behold the ship became so heavily 



The people curse him. 

laden that the sailors feared lest it should sink • 
and they said if we take in any more meat we 

shall be drowned, and our wives and little ones 
will be left alone. 

28 And while they communed among 
themselves, they looked and beheld a com¬ 
pany of horsemen with timbrels and harps 
coming towards them, who called upon the peo¬ 
ple to shout, for, they said, behold the King 

29 But the people hated Abomilech, and 
instead of shouting they cursed him, and prayed 
that they might behold his face no more. 


[Here the Manmeript terminate, abruptly. The Trrm.lator 
ha, no, been able di.eoeer the fate of the unfortunate Queen 
or that of her cruel and vindictive husband.] 




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